Recent DJ Posts

No recall. Life got busy and journaling went out the window.

However, girlfriend is now away on work travel, so I will be able to practice WBTB and other techniques without disturbing her sleep for the next couple weeks

I was hungover all day from partying with my friend the day prior where I had two beers and did a shot with her. On my hungover day I went on a run in the hot sun and bought apple juice because I once read it gives you vivid dreams, I took a nap and you can judge the apple juice effects for yourself:

I was in a diner themed McDonald's, I had a call from my employer apparently, I don't know what it said. But someone did an in-depth analysis about Chickie's dad from Rugrats in which he held a gun to his head and asked "What's a drama that makes you fall in love with life again?" it featured a 90s cartoon style scene of Chuckie, disguised as Elisabeth Thornberry, running away from home, and his dad getting depressed. The families from Rugrats go through the city to search for Chuckie, it shows a really cartoony montage of everyone's houses chasing around the city like cars. Spinelli from Recess makes a cameo appearance as older homeless woman punching the dad from Phil and Lil.

I wake up in the McDiner again forgetting about my order, I see an invoice letter with my name on it wilth the receipt attached saying order 97, I then see the take out bar with a bat with my order, I grab it and this mysterious black girl sitting by the bar who follows me on twitter apparently tells me I "shouldn't let that girl control me" referring to some random meme I got on my birthday on twitter within the dream canon. A girl tried to order a burger but with nothing but the "banana sauce" the black guy working there looks at her with this "really?" smile on his face.

Dream was in English

Edit: (and TW: Suicide) during that Rugrats bit I had a dream of a vine type of sketch featuring a group of black guys in which one of them holds a gun to his head and shoots himself then drops to the chair, his friends jokingly re-enact his dropping motion as he just lands sitting down with a funny bounce, the guy from the gun was still concious watching bis friends and laughing along and playing along with them followed by his POV of suddenly noticing his vision going dark and blurry.

I should add that the reason I added everyone's race is because they were all black just like I am, it reads a little weird to me as well, but I wanted to remember that detail. Reference was probably because I went to an African festival yesterday and hung out with people from the festival at an after party.

5/19/23
I'm standing with B in the backyard in The Meadow and something doesn't seem 100% right. I look at my hands and count 5 fingers on both, rotating them back and forth. I look once again doing the same procedure, yet they continue to look real. I get a sense that this simply isn't waking reality and my awareness begins to rise a bit more as I tend to push my awareness during waking life. I become aware that I'm in a dream. I turn to B and say "Now we're lucid" as I begin to rise up a fly with enjoyment. I start heading toward the far end of the yard where tall trees in the woods loom behind the fence. I continue to fly but soon realize that I'm risking having the dream fade if I fly into the darkness. I decide to keep the dream more stable by turning around and flying toward the house. I see a light emanating from the door on the right side and fly in that direction. I head toward the laundry room which has a door open. I see the washer and dryer with the doors situated vertically - they're both projecting a holographic image on them with a blue hue. I consider two of my major dream goals: heading to my dream sanctuary as well as asking what my spiritual path is. I begin asking the dream what my spiritual bath is - I ask twice yet get no answer. I decide to sit and practice zazen. I sit facing the wall and begin meditation. B sits to my right. I'm interested in how stable my awareness is within the dream state. I see the slight warbling effects of my visuals through my half open eyes, but my awareness is pretty steady. I meditate for about a minute, then get up. I reflect on how my awareness in the dream seems a bit more stable since several years prior. I continue to make my way to the next room an consider heading to my dream sanctuary. I take in the visuals of the kitchen and head to the family room. I hold off on the dream goal and decide to meditate in my usual spot in real life. I enter the family room and face the sliding glass doors and notice snow flurries coming to the ground outside. I see my reflection and I'm wearing the same pjs I wore to bed. I look very similar to real life with slightly shorter hair. I set to meditate and B is by my side once again. I stabilize my awareness. A thought passes through my awareness of what it would be like if all my dreams were lucid- would that just be too much time in the state? What if there are bad dreams? I come back to awareness. After about a minute I get up and return to the central area of the kitchen and consider looking for a portal to head to the dream sanctuary. I look at the bathroom door, basement door and front. I decide to just chill for a bit though, and just enjoy the dream environment. I think, hey why not get some chocolate and decide to get some chocolate ice cream from the fridge (having a giant chocolate bar was a just-for-fun dream goal anyway!). I see French Vanilla ice cream and think that would be great and grab the container. I also see a large Valor dark chocolate bar in red and gold wrapper with about 2/3 remaining and the wrapper pulled back - I grab that too. I put my hand into the ice cream, grab a big chunk and try it. It tastes pretty good! About 50% of the flavor of real life. I head toward the table with the ice cream and chocolate bar, but decide to grab a cup and spoon for the ice cream since I don't want to be messy - reflecting on making bad karmic patterns even in the dram state. I sit back next to B, and notice the edge of the cup with ice cream dripping down. I reflect on how cool it is to be in this aware state, just chilling and hanging out with my 'dream brother'. After a moment, the dream begins to fade a bit and I begin to come to back to my waking body.
Factors: Awareness practice; Illusory form practice; Mantra before bed; Reishi - midnight

I'm on a platform high int he trees on the edge of the Dark Woods in The Meadow. I realize I'm dreaming. H is next to me and I look at her and tell her I'm dreaming. I'm laying down on the wooden square platform underneath some covers. I look up and see the moon in the distance hanging above the faint view of the neighbor's house. The platform is roughly eight feet by five feet, constructed of wood, sitting about two stories high with a two foot wooden railing running around it. I feel the covers around me and think that the tactile sense will help prolong the dream. I chat with H for a short bit, but slip into a false awakening in which I'm telling a DC outside my room that I just had a lucid dream.

+ soccer field at the corner of the field by the goal, the goalies are practicing doing lock kicks back in to the field. Someone is also training with me and kicking some balls for me to block, I see those goalies are really good at doing very long kicks. There's a small-sized woman there and I take her up into my arms and am amorously caressing her. Then I think this is not a good idea and I put her down. She wants to continue, comes up and looks up at me with big eyes and says "hug!" So I pick her up for a hug and then I notice photographers off to the side snapping pictures. They're probably going to blackmail me.

+ discussing presidential history, bad president, room, sit with [deceased] wife E, call out to her to remember our visit to that temporary president, to connect with her but I feel we are distant, she stands up and moves away from me

walking outside, girl says "I lost my bracelet" [IWL wife asked me to bring her her Fitbit that she left downstairs], "the one with the crystals/stones" [IWL wife L has such a thing], I'm looking around and around a corner I see a small cache of items, there's a small corded bracelet hanging on a (nail?) that has two large roughly cut crystals on it, I pick it up and hand it to her, "here it is!". I think there is a group of thieves working this area, and how easy it is to steal things from someone who's unsuspecting, just sitting there and the thief comes up behind them and snatches their things away while the victim is not looking.

+ I find illegal invasive pests in the back corner of a local store, a crate of tick-like insects and a crate of very fat, plump juicy wormy things, they're all squiggling around, I want to call the cops because I know these are illegal and if released in to the local ecosystem will spread and destroy the vegetation/crops, I decide to take a picture of them but as I start to do this some guys from the store come up to me, ask me "What are you doing here? There's nothing to take pictures of here, just regular products." It's true that around the area is just plain uninteresting things like bottles of ketchup. They are very threatening. I decide to get out of there, I get in to my car outside, and the people (wife E?) with me are also getting in, I'm yelling "hurry up! We have to go!" and I take off in the car. The streets are very narrow and there is an oncoming very large truck heading at me. Because I need to get away I do not stop but keep driving hoping he will yield. Because the divers of such trucks are very rude he doesn't stop and keeps barreling right at me. I try to maneuver between the truck and the parked cars but it's too narrow, we side-swipe each other as we collide and I have an image of a car/truck that has had it's entire roof/upper section ripped off.

+ [f] driving a car with no brakes control [DS!!]. I'm pushing hard on the brake pedal at times but it's barely responding. Twilight/night time.

+ With [deceased] wife E at a border crossing to a small country where people go to vacation. They ask my wife her name and she gives a fake name, they look at her passport and pass her. I'm surprised that she gave a fake name and think she must have a falsified passport. They ask me my name and I give my full correct name (in a foreign language) and present my passport, the border guard takes it and says "there must be a mistake in your passport because here it says (some name completely different from my own), I'm going to need to detain you" and goes off to discuss what to do with me with the officials. I tell my wife "You should have told me ahead of time that we had fake passports with fake names!!!". I'm standing there dreading the consequences of this.