lucid

17th August 2012

I'm lying in bed after doing SSILD. It is a FA, however, as I am somehow listening to a podcast by Hat Films (some people on youtube). In addition to this, the song Bohemiam Rhapsody is playing in my head, but is sounding very clear as though it were really playing. I'm lying on my side and I feel SP. Thinking how I'm now WILDing, I transition into an LD by rolling out of bed into the dream. (This is classified as a DILD/SSILD, as the SP and transition into an LD all took place within another dream.) I feel my fingers and rub my hands together a bit until the numbness of the SP goes away.

I get up and go to the window. I wonder what it will look like outside when I open the curtains. Various possibilities rush through my head, and I wonder how much my conscious expectation will affect the outcome. I open the curtains and see it's dark outside and snowing heavily. I did not expect that. I move into the corridor and across into another room to look in the cupboard. I open it but find nothing. Heading downstairs, I think about a beach with a sunset that I might like to travel to. I look for something which I could use to get there. At this point I awaken into a FA with the podcast from earlier still playing. One of the trio that does it says his channel has 12k views which is the most out of the three. I think how this sounds odd. Sorry that it's a slightly dull LD! I'm still very happy to have it!

17th August 2012

After a dream, I am lying in bed with my eyes closed. I instantly feel SP coming. Rushing a bit, I roll out of bed by throwing my dream self on the floor of my room. I don't feel anything as I land. I sit there for a while, waiting for my body. I then get up and start moving towards the door. I feel my body getting more realistic, but it turns out this was because I have woken up.

7th August 2012

I’m in bed, and there’s a really annoying insect like a wasp that’s bothering me. It flies near me once and I wave it away, and then it does it again. When it does it for a 3rd time I find it a bit strange and decide to do an RC. Finding I can breathe through my nose despite plugging it, I jump out of bed excitedly and run towards the door. As the dream feels a little unstable I stop to calm down and take in my surroundings. Everything seems very vivid, even though it’s not quite the bedroom I’m actually sleeping in.

I notice a mirror on one of the walls. I approach it, wondering whether I should expect to see anything strange because it’s a dream. I peer into it. Nope – I see a perfect, detailed image of myself. The only difference is I’m wearing some sort of hat. I take a closer look to examine the details of my face. I then go out the door, but the dog nearly follows me out. I tell him to stay. He flops down on the ground and I shut the door behind me as I head out, finding it rather difficult to get it closed. As I’m locking it, I wonder how well I will remember all this.

I head down the corridor. I then decide to go in one of the rooms. I do so, and it seems empty at first as I poke around. Soon, the thought occurs to me that occurs to all young men when faced with a world in which they can do absolutely whatever they want. I get an excited feeling in my chest as I head into the bathroom. I spot a girl I used to know and find quite attractive in the corner. Various (perfectly consensual) shenanigans ensue. I stop this after a little while for some reason, noticing there are quite a few other people in the same room who are seemingly unfazed. I look around for a private spot, and call for the girl. She doesn’t show up so I give up. At one point, I feel the dream sort of slipping away, so I refocus on my senses and surroundings. I also remind myself I’m lucid, although I don’t really need to. It works very well and I’m right back in the dream. I go to a window and run my fingers down the glass pane. I feel the cold smoothness and am amazed by how realistic it is. I think how the brain is basing all this on my experience in real life. I then grab a telephone off the wall and listen for the beep in the receiver. There is none. I make a beeping noise to see if that sets it off. It doesn’t; too bad!

I go back out into the corridor and walk towards the front entrance of the hotel I seem to be in. Someone expresses their displeasure at the stuff that goes on in the room I just visited. The street outside is busy. I walk along, seeing loads of people I know. I’m trying to find people I don’t recognize to disprove the idea that faces in dreams have to be ones I’ve seen in real life. It doesn’t occur to me that I wouldn’t necessarily consciously remember all the faces I’ve seen in real life. People seem to be running past me, and I walk past someone I met a while back, briefly saying hello. I begin to cross the road when it’s indicated as safe. A car tries to pass in front nonetheless. I decide that this is unacceptable and do an awesome jump thing to land on the bonnet (hood) of the vehicle. I look around for the reactions of others, but no one is really that bothered. I spot someone in another car who I identify as a teacher I used to have at school. They tell me I need to take some “schizophrenia pills”, although I do not suffer from the condition. I assume all the DCs think I’m mentally ill. I tell the teacher I’ll pick up some on the way up a hill.

Walking up this hill, I spot some spheres on the ground which I associate with the aforementioned pills. I kick them and they start moving away fast as though attracted by something (think XP orbs in Minecraft, but going away from me). On the way up the hill, I’m talking with someone about the spheres. There seem to be two types: large orange and small (possibly blue) ones, which are the ones I kicked earlier. On the way up this hill, I wake up. I stay perfectly still and try to DEILD. I notice my heart is beating very fast. Unfortunately it doesn’t work.

28th July 2012

I'm in a dream where I'm the owner of a medium-sized truck. I get into and notice that a note has been left by BT (British Telecommunications) identifying a problem with some of the wiring in my vehicle. On this, I spot that it says they know what I have been dreaming about. This occurs to me as a stupidly obvious time to do an RC. I find I am able to breathe through my plugged nose. I am then in bed, but I suspect it is a FA. I keep absolutely still and go into SP. I think at this point how I don't even know if I'm dreaming or not (I can't move to RC). I end up falling out of bed in the dream.

I do an RC and find I am still dreaming. I then take the time to observe my surroundings and pay close attention to my senses. The main thing I notice is the remaining feeling of tingling from the SP. I then run to the window, not having needed to stabilise at all, and fly out. I circle around outside a bit. I then notice I'm not doing my normal flying technique but am still perfectly airborne. I then fly into a valley. At this point, reminding myself to pay attention to my surroundings, I see a beautiful view of a mountain, set against a pink-blue sky. There are several stars dotted above and, to my surprise, the same three moons I had seen in my previous lucid dream. I am flabbergasted at how real it looks. One moon is larger than the others, but when I look away and back at it, it becomes the same as the others. They are regular shaped and white, slightly spaced out but in a similar area of the sky.

I forget my intent of just letting the LD unfold and decide to look up and summon my trusty companion. I also decide what the clouds will look like in the sky. I think of shouting "Dash!" but wonder if I will sleeptalk. I shout it anyway. The sky seems to be filled with flying debris that obscures my view of the clouds. I think how I have to expect her to appear. I spot something flying and decide it is her. It's too late however; the thing is actually an eagle of some sort. I see its wings spread out above. It comes right down to me. I decide I will go on a quest to find my dream companion Dash, and ask the bird where to find her. It flies off in the direction of a tree.

I follow for a bit, speeding up considerably at one point, but eventually lose the eagle. I peer down to discover the valley is full of snakes, and many are in the trees. I am then walking amongst these trees. I spot the snake from The Jungle Book and am mildly amused. Narrowly avoiding the snakes, I fly over to a tree filled with monkeys in the direction that the eagle seemed to go. At the top is a monkey that looks different to all the rest, which I assume is a leader. I attack it for some reason and it alerts the rest of them. I make my escape. I then wake up in bed and stay perfectly still. I manage to do this, but unfortunately do not DEILD.

19th July 2012

I'm in sleep paralysis, and a few shapes of things float into vision. I soon find myself 'falling out of bed' however, and wait for myself to hit the floor and be in a dream. I expect to feel the impact, but don't. I find myself on the floor and, although I feel ready to get up, I rub my hands together in an attempt at stabilisation. I get up and go to the window. I try just hurling myself at the window, but to no avail. I then open the window and peer out into the empty street outside. Although I'm convinced I'm dreaming, I do a nose-plug RC just to check and, sure enough, I can still breathe. I open the window and jump.

Unfortunately I hit the street, unable to fly, but this doesn't hurt me at all. I then find myself in a place outside a cottage I used to live in. I walk around, leaving doors open. At one point I tell myself to make sure to attempt to DEILD upon waking up. It then occurs to me that I should be focusing on the things I want to do in an LD. I peer up at the overcast sky and try to shout "Dash!" (of course calling my favourite pony), but find my voice to be rather quiet. I shout again and this time make some noise. I spot a dot in the sky and assume, or rather expect, it to be Rainbow Dash. She comes into view and is flying down towards the ground, although not towards me.

Eventually, I manage to find her. We walk around the garden of the cottage a bit, at one point going towards the neighbours' house. I look into their garden and think how realistic it looks. At one point I approach a closed door and imagine there's something nasty on the other side. I open it and head through with my companion but find nothing. (So far Rainbow Dash hasn't spoken to me in either of the dreams she has appeared in). I look up and shout "let's go!", inviting her to race me in flight. I attempt to fly, but fail at first. I remember my own technique of flying I had come up with for LDing and it works fine. As I'm flying up and up I see the moon in the sky, but then realize it is accompanied by another two. They are all quite large and look slightly different. I think how beautiful it is. Soon, one moon transforms until it looks the same as another. Thinking how it would not be good to go into space if I'm trying to race, I head back down and end up landing.

Rainbow Dash has changed into some peculiar little creature with blonde hair. Somewhat annoyed, I try to transform her with little success. She soon becomes Fluttershy, however, and I think how this is better than nothing. I eventually decide to go through a door which I imagine will transport us somewhere else. I do so. I find I am losing the dream, however, as it seems more like a thought than reality. I spin around, but find myself spinning in bed. Assuming I've woken up, I lose lucidity (but it's an FA).

12th July 2012

I'm in SP, and hear a few sounds. I think something along the lines of "ah - this is now the time to WILD!" and focus on HI. I briefly focus on any sounds I can hear to see if there's anything scary but don't hear anything particularly weird. I feel the SP fading a bit so I refocus on the HI. I see a face of some sort (I think human beings are pretty prone to imagining faces when they see random patterns and that's what leads to HI like this). After a while a clearer image of a window from within a room appears. As it becomes clearer, I find myself floating out through this window. I'm above a city, and land on a rooftop. I suspect I have a dream body by now but I continue to observe passively. After a while I definitely do have one, so I get up. I think about how odd it is that I'm aware that I'm asleep. I'm on a rooftop, and nearby is a path leading around a lawn area. I rub my hands together in an effort to stabilise.

I follow this path along, repeating to myself "I'm dreaming". I soon notice that I'm not wearing any clothes and decide that the first thing I do will be to give myself some. As I walk along the path I notice the dream fade slightly, so I rub my hands together and it comes back into to focus. I think about some archetypes I had created for myself the day before. I then hear sounds which I believe are people getting up IRL. I bring my attention back to the dream and continue along the path. The sounds were indeed people getting up, and I suspect this woke me up.

6th July 2012

I'm in the garden of my house with a friend I know from a previous school. He points up at the clouds and says how weird they look. I say out loud that this is the ideal time to do an RC. I do the nose plugging one and can breathe. I then find myself in my bed but I still know I'm dreaming. I get out of bed to continue the LD. I find it difficult getting up and the dream's not very stable. I take the time to rub my hands together, and I then feel as though my body has come to life a bit more. I get up and walk past my desk to the window. I open it to try and fly out, thinking how I may have trouble fitting through it.

5th July 2012

Finding myself in SP, I observe images forming in my mind. One of them becomes a ship, viewed from the air and at quite a distance. I lose focus on this image and instead find myself slipping out of bed. I think about how there's a bedside table next to my bed I wouldn't want to hit and am quite shocked when I hit the floor for some reason. I can now see my hands, but instead of having skin they are made of my duvet. Despite this, I can't move and still feel the SP.

5th July 2012

SP comes and I keep my eyes shut, watching the patterns on my eyelids. Everything seems to be in black and white but after a little while I can see some green through the shutters of a window. This window becomes one that is curtained (red I think). I am now observing a completely empty room with only this window. As I look at it more, it becomes more like a 3D model. I soon find myself back in bed but still in SP. Once more, I feel myself falling out of bed. This time, however, I can move fine after my dream self falls to the floor. I get up and start moving, thinking about doing an RC. The dream abruptly ends.

28th June 2012

I am lying in bed thinking about dreaming and false awakenings. I think about how I should have done an RC in a dream I just had. I'm pretty convinced I'm not dreaming now as there's no reason I should be, but nonetheless I figure I might as well do an RC. I'm mildly surprised to find that some air still goes into my lungs despite the fact I'm plugging my nose, so I pinch it harder. It still happens. I get lucid, and the dream begins to destabilise so I calm myself, focus on my surroundings and rub my hands together. I demand "greater clarity" but that doesn't work. I manage to stabilise it and head straight out the window.

I fly to a beach nearby. It's daytime seemingly but it's somewhat dark still and the moon can be seen, somewhat obscured by the clouds. As I fly, I notice the very realistic and wonderful feeling of the wind. I attempt to think about a place I'd like to be but it gets confusing and I don't really make much of a difference. Instead, I fly towards a town, beyond which there is the sea, beautifully blue. I then decide to take my LDing a step further and summon something. Naturally, I decide upon summoning the character Rainbow Dash from MLP (huzzah!). I look up to the sky and shout something along the lines of "come on Dash!". I had already decided how I was going to summon DCs IRL. For Rainbow Dash I figured I would call and she would pop out of the clouds and come down to meet me. As expected, something small and flying comes out of one of the large stratocumulus clouds in the sky. As I get a better look at it, it does indeed turn out to be a small blue pegasus, and she comes down to meet me. I'm slightly worried about getting her look correct in my mind, but when she is with me I find it quite accurate, albeit not perfect. I give her a hug and we fly onwards towards the sea.

At one point we have to go over the edge of a cliff and so I fly downwards towards the sea. I look behind but I can't see Dash, so I go up and find her again, and sure enough she's there. I peer up at the sky and wonder whether to fly to the moon or into space, but then it occurs to me that I'd quite like to go and play some tennis at Wimbledon as a pro. We're in a covered area of some sort in the town and I wonder where I might find a mirror or a cupboard to step through to get to the tennis arena. On one side of the covered area, however, is an archway. I decide that Wimbledon is through there. I talk to a DC near me and tell them that I'm going to Wimbledon through that arch.

Sure enough, I go through and find myself in a place where lots of cheering can be heard. An unidentified DC tells me that Federer is playing. I decide that he would probably be too much of a challenge, even for my dream self, and I wouldn't want to beat Federer anyway as I support him a lot. I decide another player will be there, waiting for me to appear. I have a tower around my neck, and have to head up a spiraling passageway to get to the court above.

I arrive amid the cheers of the crows, and I can hear the commentators somehow. He refers to me as an unknown, although I secretly know I'm going to be a legend on the court. I start to hit a few balls back and forth with my opponent, who is a bald guy not unlike the player Davydenko. At one point, however, he goes to the back of the court and starts using a medical device to aid with breathing, which stops the game. I'm worried about my opponent and head over to him. The commentators say how strange this is, and suggest my opponent is using it to delay the match. I put my hands out, questioning what's going on, as the medical people arrive at the scene. I start to think about playing someone else, but then find myself awake.

23rd June 2012

I get out of bed and come downstairs in a house I don't recognize IRL but treat as home in the dream. It's some sort of flat and has a narrow corridor leading to a small room with a table for meals. My parents are here with my sister. My sister, who is standing to the right of me, announces it's her birthday today. I am happy to hear this but quite worried that I hadn't realized beforehand. I try to work out why this happened and it soon occurs to me that she already had her birthday earlier in the year. I decide this is an odd occurrence and thus do an RC just to make sure it's reality. I plug my nose and find that I can still breathe with ease. Turns out I was wrong!

I start to rush towards the window, but then remember to stabilise the dream. I rub my hands together and take time to become aware of my surroundings, taking in the sights and sounds. At one point I recall having a bit of pain in my stomach, and I assume it's a problem with my real self in bed. After this, however, I head to the window, get out and fly for the first time. I can do it with ease, and I fly around for a bit. Later, I find myself in a bathroom back in the flat, and I actually use the toilet. After doing this, however, I'm worried that I will have wet myself IRL. I soon dispel this thought and look at the wall. It has colourful (albeit somewhat ugly) tiles. I try to walk through the wall, but several times I simply can't, and encounter a solid resistance. I try then to blindly walk through it, but still find I cannot. As an inexperienced LDer I'm not worried, but I wonder whether I'm still dreaming. I plug my nose once more and can still just about breathe.

I head out and go up a corridor. Wondering whether I can summon anything at this stage, I try expecting to see the character Rainbow Dash at the end of the corridor. She doesn't appear, and I know I wasn't truly expecting it. I go to the window again to fly. I glance up at the sky while airborne and see it fade slightly. I'm in a place I recognize in the dream for some reason. There is a large building I fly towards. I expect to see a city behind it, but in the end don't get enough altitude to see over it. I peer down to see a few people on the ground. I come to an ice rink where there are a few girls playing ice hockey. I wonder whether my dream self would be able to overcome my fear of skating (I once broke my arm doing it). I somewhat rudely take the ice hockey stick of one of the players and they react in surprise, but agree to play me.

Sure enough, I glide effortlessly over the ice, although my skills with the puck are not exactly perfect. I don't really know what I'm doing as far as the rules of the game are concerned, so I mainly just go after the puck. She doesn't seem to know much about playing either. We're having fun though, and I try to stop the puck from getting into one of the goals. At some point the dream gets a bit odd though and for whatever reason we have to act out a scene from a wedding. The dream soon ends though.

18th June 2012

I feel the onset of SP and, calming myself, observe the HI. An image comes into focus but then fades away. As it does this, I somehow ask for "greater clarity" and it goes straight back into vividness. It's a kitchen and it's late at night. I look at the stove. To the right, on the counter, is a basket containing a bag of chips/crisps. I remember not to focus too hard on each thing (and not to force myself into the dream) and keep moving my gaze around the dark room. Eventually, as I approach the entrance, I remember that I seem to have been observing the HI for quite a while, and I look down, see my hands and find that I can move them!

I'm excited of course but think how I must stabilise the dream before continuing. I rub my hands together and take time to calm down. I then look at the digital clock on an oven to the right of me. It reads "Lucid dream", although I am already fully aware that it is one. I think about how shocking it is that my first proper LD should be a WILD. I then decide to go to the window of the kitchen and fly, thinking I've stabilised the dream.

I 'wake up' in bed, thinking I've awoken from the previous part of the dream. (Note: Lucidity has been lost here.) It remains quite dark outside but I am very surprised to see that my bed, and some of my room, is covered with books which resemble dictionaries. These read "Lucid Dreaming" on the front. I am excited about the LD I just had, but confused by the books. I think how my mother must have been digging around for these books after I mentioned LDing to her a few times. I reach over to my left to write in my dream journal, but find that my lamp doesn't work (what a classic DS haha). I check the time and, amazingly, it's just past 12pm. I check closely to see if it isn't 12am but I see the PM letters clearly. This is on my laptop which, for some reason, is on my bedside table.

I get up out of bed and look out of the window up at the sky. It's a navy blue colour, and I can't quite tell whether it's clear or cloudy. I head back to bed and, as I'm doing so, my mother comes in. She apologises for leaving all the books lying on my bed. As she's leaving, I'm about to tell her that I just had my first LD. She's gone though, and I lie back down to go to sleep. Suddenly, I have an idea why everything is so odd. It must be an FA, and I'm aware that these are common after LDs. I block my nose with two fingers as an RC and, sure enough, I can breathe still. I now try to calm my excitement by rubbing my hands together and repeating a mantra I had made for these situations. I then try to get out of bed to go to the window. Somehow, however, I simply do not have the energy, and I just can't get up. I then try rolling out of bed, as others seem to do, but this doesn't work either. The dream slips away.

25th April 2012

I seem to recall something to do with washing my hair prematurely. I am looking at myself in the mirror and find I have very long hair. I move it about. Now I am in geography class, thinking about my long hair. Others do not notice. The class ends. Now, all of a sudden, I question all this and realize I am dreaming. I look at my hands but in the excitement wake myself, with SP for a few seconds. Except for one instant I remember from early childhood, this could be my first time lucid. I haven't added it to my LD count however as it only lasted 5 seconds at most and was very unstable.

OH! Had a supremely rare short lucid last night. DILD. Wanted to cross a road and my body slowly lifted and I was winding in the air slowely, like a snake. Then I thought I can't fly so I'm dreaming. I didn't feel excited because I remembered that this kind of thing had happened several times before in my long lifetime but never last long. Then I thought I should be brave and float in front of an oncoming car since I was dreaming and therefore coulden't get hurt. As I was floating toward an oncoming car I slowely landed then lost lucidity and continued the dream not knowing that I was dreaming (or not careing).

Felt more like a little lucid gift more than a successfull personal attempt.

[Wednesday, 19th, 2012][12:30 PM]
I'm in a giant open house filled with clutter. The lights are very dim and there are two main rooms. On one side of the house there's just a
windowed wall that overlooks the sunset scenery of trees. The house is slowly getting darker and there are no lights. Alex had just left me- I'm
alone.

Nothing is wrong, I'm just alone. I sit down and start to just relax on the couch. I slowly drift off to sleep... I wake up a minute later, a noise
springs to my attention. On the dark side of the house, where the shadow's hugged the corner, I heard a noise. I figure it must have been my
imagination. I shrug it off, but feel a strange alien thought in my head. I feel so alone... so... so alone... I just want something to hold on to- or talk
to-

I slowly trudge over to the shadow side of the house... I hear dull clicking noises, reminiscent of Amnesia. In the far right corner of the dark side, I
bend down to pick up a stuffed animal... there was a lot of them, but I choose one that I'm most familiar with. It was a cute patchwork animal-
yellow with purple and green... Alex had gotten it from the claw machine. I pick it up and hug it- and look at it. I could have sworn I saw it move.
I let it drop to my side and I pick up another... I set them back down and watched them come to life. I was amazed- but didn't think anything of it.
I must be seeing things, but nothing too out of the ordinary. It's just little movements, like an arm twitching, or an eye blinking.

I bring the patchwork with me into the other rooms and set it on a table. Walking into the other room, I see shadows flicker and move, and things
shift around the room. I'm convinced I'm going crazy. But I'm okay, I accept it. "It won't be forever. And this isn't so bad. It's kind of interesting.
It's like I can control what I see." It reminds me of a lucid dream. My hallucinations started to become more real and vivid. Now I'm hearing
whispers. The patchwork shakes violently in my hand and drops to the floor. It begins crawl around... Oh my... then it stops in its tracks... and...
and it turned its neck to me. It whispered, "Don't be lonely. I'm here for you." I blink a blank stare back at it. (My subconscious didn't know how
to react.) I dismiss it- and forget about it.

With an empty mind, I drag myself across the house, like a ghost haunting eternity. I had no aim or goal, just to exist. Minutes passed and I knew
that I was fully insane, and descending extremely fast. Everything was talking to me now. More stuffed animals were alive, but only ONE at a
time. Next thing I know, I see a human in the room. It's- a waking life friend of mine that I know fairly well, but I don't remember who in specific.
I know it's just in my head, and I'm making him up though, so I'm not exactly freaked out. I'm just so interested in the fact that I have this much
"control" over my reality- I start to talk to the hallucination, "What's up, man?"
"Not much." He replies.

I take my attention off of him and he vanishes, and I begin to search around the house... playing with my hallucination power.
I could stare at something and focus on it, and it would begin to move. I have "control" over this at least. I scan the back wall again, seeing
stuffed animals that I recognized from real life and some that I did not. The house had gotten pretty chilly in the last few minutes. I can feel the
cold wrap around my skin. It's very very quiet. Dead silent. Not a noise in the place, save for my breathing. Out of the corner of my eye I see the
hallucination take a human form again. It's another person who I know. (but don't remember. I wasn't paying extremely-close, conscious attention
yet at this point. He follows me around the house as I start to pick things up and clean the cluttered house. He watches me closely like a hawk. That's when the
dream becomes extremely real. In fact... It ISN'T a dream anymore. There's no way something this real is a dream. It's a full-blown reality. I can't
tell the difference one bit anymore. I'm semi-lucid too... I have control of my body- but without realizing it was a dream.
I look back up at my hallucinated visitor and he smiles at me.

That smile... it's the most horrible evil fucking smile I've ever seen. One that stretches across the face and make me choke back tears of impossible
fear. I'm descending faster into the deepest and darkest corner of my mind. I'm very uncomfortable
"I can't believe how insane I am." I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone to call Alex- the only person that I want to talk to right now...
even if I was bat crazy, she would talk to me. I call, with my eyes on the hallucination that was smiling so wide, his black eyes were chinked
behind his grin. Straight to voicemail- "We're sorry... the number you-" I hang up.

The hallucination now has a long boning knife in his hand now. He's at my neck before I even have a chance to react-
"Do... you know who... I am?"
"No-" I sob.
"As long as Alex is... gone... I get to... come out and... play."
He casually drags the knife loosely against my neck. He vanishes when he finishes the knife's trail. I'm shaking uncontrollably. But at the same
time stilled by my muscles. Everything is frozen in fear. My open eyes scan the room and notice new stuffed animals that I don't recognize-
countless of them. The sun is almost gone, the light choked by the horizon. I turn around slowly 'til I'm facing a third room behind me. I watch the
opening for a whole minute... waiting... swaying back in forth in silence... then-

I sprint to the third back room... I jump into the room and stop... panting for second. This room closely resembles my old room of my Mum's old
house. The TV is on and static lights up the room with white noise. I slowly make my way to the far end of the room, where I put my phone on the
charger and try to call again- that's when I saw Alex had left her phone on the charger. I won't reach her at all now. My heart sinks so deep into
my chest. "Oh my god... I just want to talk to Alex... I just want to talk to her... please oh god..." I cry hysterically

My head feels very hazy, and I'm having trouble remembering the situation. What had just happened? I remember a stuffed animal... I'm crazy... a
man in my house... I took in a shallow breath- and walked back out of the room.

A body flickers into existence and blocks my path. Nathan appears very suddenly in the doorway, like a scream piercing silence. He has a
wicked grin on his face. He cocks his head to the side, and smiles more, almost saying, "Where were you?" Then he vanishes again. I push my
eyes closed to blink a few times- they were getting dry from holding them open so wide for so long. The house is caked in twilight- but this time
I'm back in my Mom's old home. I emerge from my room into the computer room. To my left is the futon. I walk into the kitchen and hear,
"Unwell" playing by Matchbox Twenty.

"I'm not CRAZY, I'm just a little unwell- I know, right now you can't tell- but soon enough of you're gonna think of me, and how I used to be." I
listen to the words and begin to sob. "This is so real. I can't do this...

The music stops playing and Nathan is there again. He's right behind me, smiling his cold smile. It shocks me again how suddenly he appeared. I
keep my eyes on him and slowly backtracked... then I stop. I'm suddenly filled with HATE for this DEMON. HOW DARE HE USE THE IMAGE
OF MY BEST FRIEND!? Tears slowly well up in my eyes..

...until I scream and lunge for his throat. I use every bit of my strength and force him onto the futon and begin to choke him. I shake and shake
and squeeze as hard as I can. He just smiles. I choke him for a full minute, letting my hate seep out onto his neck, before I realize there is no
effect. I stand back up and take a step back.

Suddenly, the futon vanishes and so does he. It repositions right where the computer used to be- to my immediate left... where we had moved it
the second time, when we lived there. Now, Tyler sits there on the futon with a smile on his face. The lights flicker in the house and then the
power fails. It's pitch black, but I can still see his black eyes. He can change form, but he can't change those beady black eyes.

Alex had gone away and wouldn't be back for three days. Three days of hell... My soul was going to rot here
<I woke up.>

(I cried for 10 minutes upon waking. I called Alex right away.)

Last night I had quite a few dreams, but my recall has been lacking lately and I remember the main themes of two of the dreams.

In the first scene, I was visiting my friend Marykate and her mother Wendy in a trailer home of theirs. In the dream it had been about seven to ten years since I had last seen them. It was a very pleasant visit. After a while I began to wonder where Marykates younger brother Kyle was. In real life he's currently in elementry school, we used to be somewhat close in a psuedo older brother type way when I was over at their house a lot- and I wanted to say hello. I asked them both what Kyle had been up to, to try to gain some information about where he was at. Marykate didn't say anything, and her mother's face went dull. Wendy leaned in a little closer and said, "You haven't heard what happened?"...
"What do you mean?" I asked, and became a bit conserned. They both paused, and Marykates expression became very strained. "He died, Zech." She said, and began to cry. Wendy chimed in, "He had an accedent on a nature trip, he got attacked by an animal."
"Oh my gosh..." I gasped... I couldn't believe it. It was so horrible, I sat closer to them and began to tear up myself. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know." I added. It was a terrible moment in the dream, but my dream turned it around thankfully. Wendy then flipped a swhich in emotion and said, he's in the other room- we were just messing around. (Now, in the dream they weren't at first. But the dream made a swhich, that meant they were all along.)
"No fucking way you guys just made me think Kyle was dead. You guys are dick wads, major ones." I said relieved and pissed at the same time. An older version of Kyle then walked in the room and said Hey. I got up and hugged him and said Hey man, what's up- thank goodness. He said, "Yeah, they're assholes." and sat down with us. That was as much as I remember from that dream.

The next dream I became lucid in some random place, walking down a suburban sidewalk. I remembered that I wanted to find out how well I could actually 'Hear' in dreams. Because I usually remember conversations and people talking, but I don't remember the voices or hearing their words after I wake up. So I yelled "HEY!... I'M DREAMING!" I could hear it loud an clear, it was pretty awesome. It made the dream more life-like. I began to float around checking things out, still yelling on the occasion. Then I got an idea. I've been curious about these things people call "Dream Guides", and I wanted to see if I could find one for myself. So I began going around, realizing there were no people around. I found a few people in the distance and cars driving by, and yelled at everyone "Hey! Where is my dream guide!?", "Hey you! Where can I find my dream guide."
While doing this, I was playing around , trying to make little 'Resengan' like energy balls from that show Naruto. It worked like once, but my attention wasn't all the way there. I continued to fly around for awhile, and... I thought I might have found someone who knew something about my dream guide, but they got in a car and drove off. I was going to hunt them down, but my dream dissapated shortly after. I'm sure other things happened but like I said, not much dream recall lately. I'm hoping to fix that somehow. But that's it for now.

*Lucid*

I got at least 3 lucid moments last night but lost it before I could do anything. The first one that I was in, it was really blurry and fading away so I tried to say "Stabilize lucidity" but I couldn't even move my mouth without trying really hard. I woke up but I was only then slowly fading back to reality, I think I could've go back if I focused.

09/23/2012
10PM-1AM
3AM-10AM