• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. cclxxxv. Visiting MoonageDaydream for a donation

      by , 06-18-2021 at 08:35 AM
      17th June 2021

      Mostly going from end to start.

      Dream (DFLN):

      I'm in a city, I'm walking outside with MoonageDaydream, HumbleDreamer and another woman that I don't recognise or recall anymore.

      The dream ends when we are walking down a hill on a paved bit. It's cobbles and it mostly follows the hill but becomes stairs at some points where there's too much incline. Just before, I'm thinking out loud about how it reminds me of my native country, thinking that it looks to have more buildings however. I am beside the unknown woman, possibly slightly from behind and touching her shoulders, "It's funny, I don't remember getting here" and then I look at my right hand and begin counting the fingers from the back. The count seems normal at a glance but I feel self-conscious trying this RC in public. I think about M/M themes in this city but nothing manifests or changes.

      It's about near sunset and there's a sea visible from this hill. I start thinking about an airport and the name of the town, feeling dumb for not remembering and then I wake up.

      Just before this part, the four of us were crossing a road. It's a busy place and there are loads of people (or so it feels). We're somewhere in the USA supposedly and people are generally amused by my presence, seeming to think I'm British despite having no such accent. We have just come out of a store and as we cross this road with crossing island, I think about how there's Covid but nobody is wearing any face coverings. I also think to myself about how I've had my first jab, on my right art. (In reality I haven't yet)

      HumbleDreamer seems moody or perhaps overly serious for most of the walking around, but he doesn't really act that way. I am afraid that I have done something to upset him. At one point he says he got here from France and there's a segment where he's making a video for YouTube in a mostly white room, I forget what about.

      Back to the store, it's like an airport shop come to think of it. It's very generic and enclosed, at the end of a corridor. People interact with me and the group and this is the main reason I end up thinking about Covid. The person behind the till, a white middle-aged American woman, with short hair, kisses my hand or something and another woman offers a bite of a pizza slice to the group but we decline politely. Just before we get to the till, I'm talking to the unknown woman about snacks and such and how they're much cheaper here, because we saw a vending machine in the corridor leading to the shop. It's dark in the corridor except for some strong hue lights, reds and greens mostly. The drinks are like little cartons of apple juice and so on and cost about thirty cents, making me think I could buy about three or four versus the cost that I'm used to. The snacks are mostly potato stuff.

      We talk about how there's not a lot of importing around here, for some reason.

      Before the corridor and some dark halls, we are in a church yard of some kind. It's all mostly paved, gritty or gravel. There's a dry fountain in the middle, made of stone? It's MoonageDaydream's school workplace apparently. We came all the way here from wherever we came from to give her a donation, but I'd forgotten my hundred and twenty five dollars that I was to give her. I fear the group is disappointed with me but suspect MoonageDaydream is fine with it. I decide to give it to her as soon as I can.

      The church/school building itself is very grey and looks a bit like Gaudi's style, very bulbous and round shapes and some mini spires. I remark on this and comment on how it must be Spanish in origin, therefore. The outside of the building has a render made up with large smooth stones that can fit in a hand's palm. I talk about the building style with the group but I don't recall their comments.

      There was more recall but I felt too tired writing my initial notes.



      Notes:

      - When I woke up, I thought about how some of my conclusions during the dream were a bit hasty and I thought about how I could have become lucid at the end.
      -- In a way, it's unusual that I thought about how I got there, I just found myself trying to think of the trip there and the airport and finding I couldn't remember, partly attributing it to tiredness from the trip.

      - Unlike the other dream where I'd only heard MoonageDaydream, in this dream I could see her and HumbleDreamer clearly. Their details as characters seemed accurate to how I remember their profile pictures here.
    2. ccxxxv.

      by , 03-08-2021 at 12:22 AM
      4th March 2021

      Scraps:

      T needed a bug killer or repellent? Asks me for guidance on soldering and installing a micro noise generator PCB.

      Something Dark Souls-esque. I remember interact with a user interface menu, mostly having a look?

      6th March 2021

      Dream:

      After some sequence about trucks and driving and a very vast area in some kind of half-real/half-game world, exploring a map or level? Me and H are arriving at the building door for my old apartment building. There's a man in the lobby and I don't feel like going in? A car drives past, going up on the curb. It sounds like dad's car and is the same colour so I tell H to look. But then I realise it's not dad and his car because it's actually a Toyota (though in the dream I mistake it for a Mitsubishi, a mistake I commonly make in waking life, but for some reason realised instantly to be wrong as I wrote the recall).

      The car makes laps around the cul-de-sac. I remark that it must simply be using the same engine. At this point it feels like just before sunset. The shadows' directions in the dream would be agreeable to this.

      Then me and H are going around a mix of my old home town/L. We're checking off things from a checklist on my phone. It's night time and the area we're in is a busy part of the city. There seem to be festive decorations of some kind.

      I have some subconscious awareness of Covid but nobody is wearing masks, including myself. The next thing on the list is that we have to visit a chapel. I want to loop up the nearest one on my phone but I have a feeling there's one nearby, maybe an in-dream memory of one.

      We walk towards a riverside/quay area and H leads. As I try to look it up on the phone we gain some distance from each other but I also feel awkward looking things up on my phone, I feel embarrassed of someone looking for some reason.

      (recall gap)

      We are inside a chapel, it's really small and cramped. The ceiling isn't much higher than head level. There's a small altar with some stained glass behind it, making it evident that it is now day time, though I don't realise this change in the dream itself.

      I have an in-dream memory or something of talking to mom about this chapel and we discuss(?) something about the chapel being more valuable not for its physical worth but because of how it brings people together. Something then happens and there are a lot of people in the church now, getting into all the pews and some communal discussion is had?
    3. ccxi. Mission rewards, old theme park

      by , 01-17-2021 at 11:29 AM
      15th January 2021

      Dream:

      I am delivering a Borderlands mission. The UI is like BL1 but I'm not actually in one of the games from the series. I can choose between two legendary rewards. One is a sniper and the other a grenade launcher. I check for some kind of extra stats which are supposed to appear in blue; the grenade launchers' tooltip is greatly expanded and there's something about it having a unique ability which allows summoning one of five vehicles of choice.

      I'm what looks like either a warehouse district or an airbase/military base. Mom and dad are here and some other people I don't recall, too. H is nearby?

      Anyway, I decide to summon one of the vehicles. It's a very Metal Slug-esque tank and it has a somewhat shiny panelling, either red or grey.

      Skipping ahead a bit. In an abandoned, disused or ruined area. I go through some dark tunnel and fighting stuff happens. Then an interaction with some character makes me reveal that it had been some kind of theme park, long ago (I surprise myself?).

      There is what looks like giant heads of an extremely realistic-looking horse and a canid of some sort. Their mouths or lips move about, but as if swaying with no control. I think about it a little bit and conclude it's the wind. We are near the coast. It's sunny but sunset-like and looks like a scene off DSII; the lips of the animal heads look ripped, like they're made of leather or some kind of heavy duty material chosen to be close enough to real textures.

      I think some part of me thinks about drawing.
    4. cciii. Amputated leg; Driving, social contact, journeys

      by , 12-30-2020 at 01:05 PM
      Long dreams but poor recall again. Dream vividness/in-dream detail has been fairly high.

      29th December 2020


      Fragment:


      Was getting out of a house, getting ready to go somewhere. I climb some roof or something like and for some reason I get something really bad in my left leg, it's very painful. My leg gets amputated below the knee.

      Then I'm in a classroom? I walk around, dealing with phantom limb sensations. I tell some therapist I'll try the mirror box theory later when I get a chance, to try and teach my leg/brain that things are different now. I see B from school and talk to him about some drawings he'd made.

      The phantom limb can somehow still hold or move a sandal at the end of where my foot would actually be. I can see the old missing bit of my leg, as if it was phasing in and out.

      30th December 2020


      Dream, fragmented:

      Driving on a motorway/highway. J and my siblings talking to me in a street? I'm in a city of some kind, it's day time. It seems quiet but not overly so, just like not a lot of people actually live here or lead peaceful lives. J was comforting me in some kind of parental way, but I don't remember about what.

      At some point my view changes and it becomes top-down. Things look a bit like Factorio. I launch a nuke ICBM from a silo and after going up out of sight it comes back down only a few structures away from the silo. The silo is OK after this but most of the rest in the area gets destroyed; robots quickly start replacing most of it and I try to manually place some alternate structures.

      (transition gap)

      At a castle, there with mom and T. We take a walk around the outer area of the castle, close to the walls. At some point I climb up some tower. It's really high up and I can see the sky and the sun, as well as distant mountains. Sunset.

      Later in the same area, something about a couple of roofers. I take away a couple of carrier bags and T helps me. I ask if they have some drinks because I'm taking the cola away with me. I accidentally lose grip and drop the carrier bag with it down a flight of worn stone stairs. I don't worry and let out an "oops". T gets slightly upset, or annoyed.

      Then at ground level in an inner courtyard area. I look around and see limestone? yellow-ish stone, into which there are relief carvings and sculptures. I feel compelled to clean these carefully, they're covered in moss and general dirt.

      (transition gap)

      Then I'm on a bus with aunt B and mom. B is telling a story about ravines in Germany and how they are very popular attractions. The bus driver is sort of at the middle/back of the bus. It has a weird layout but looks standard otherwise. I think the driver struggles with seeing where he's going and it feels like there's a lot of traffic around us. It's an overcast day but I remember we go through a tunnel at some point. I remember seeing the ravines my aunt was on about, but partly in my mind, but as vividly as if real?

      (then, many fragments)

      Views of animated scenes with M/M themes. I think something to myself, a kind of feeling of envy (about the authors?) but the specifics are lost. I look up images of Zor'Drak for some reason. The same themes again, explicit in some cases. One picture is of him with an open maw and a tiny creature on his tongue, pleasuring itself; they both seem to be enjoying the activity. There's a light and warm glow coming from deeper inside the mouth. The description mentions "Ezekiel" and it seems this has something to do with the smaller character.
    5. cxcv. Reality editing suite, On a walk with a friend

      by , 12-01-2020 at 06:38 PM
      1st December 2020

      Dream:

      By the end of a dream sequence. I remember some editing interface, like video game authoring tools and sort of in focus, there's a female furry character. A white wolf lady with red-ish accents on the hair on her head. She was part of some kind of animated sign or billboard and had a stylised drawing look to her. I felt curious or interested, but distant in terms of personal connection. I scrubbed through the animation a few times.

      The surrounding area looked like an alleyway of some kind, a street. There were metal-ring fences and such like, some warehouse type buildings. Sunset.

      In the editing interface there was some sort of point and click thing that allowed me to find the source files of textures, sounds, anything really, as long as it was visible in the dream reality and I had the correct and corresponding editing suite module in interface focus.

      (recall gap)

      Near the end of a second dream sequence. I was walking around with JC, from school, in a town I don't recognise. Not dissimilar from the previous area, but morning time instead now. It was an industrial/commercial estate type area and there were covid-related queues for getting into shops. I remember feeling I had no patience for such things (queuing etc) right now. JC was as I remember him; soft face, somewhat short but around the same as me in reality. Perhaps he seemed shorter because he still looked younger.

      We walked past a car stuck in a queue at the entrance to a parking lot area, part of a superstore/shop. It was a blue colour, cerulean like? Like a VW Beetle, but not? JC was in a suit, kind of like JSco might have. He was infantile and yet, mature in some sense. That's how I always felt about him, I now realise.

      I have my casual clothes on. Sweat pants or whatever which I wear both for lounging and for work. Black nylon t-shirt. As we walked, he commented "I want some GTA pussy, you know?". I don't remember replying. Then he continued "It's been a long time."

      His voice didn't sound at all like his actual voice and he spoke in perfect English with none of our native accent. I didn't notice any of this during the dream.

      I remember as we walked along I thought to myself "Great, he's gonna be trying really hard, I'm gonna not be caring and one of these girls will just hit on me instead of him; that would be typical."

      We reached some dead-end looking bit. Concrete-y. Breeze blocks or something like that made up a low wall, damming up earth and whatnot. There may have been a staircase up and through one part. On the top of this low wall, there were heads, some kind of digital representations/avatars or holograms of girls from the neighbourhood and the local school (college/high school). There were a lot of fake blondes? I forget how the heads looked exactly but they didn't seem out of place, somehow. JC sort of inspected each one as we kind of circled around this bit.

      The dream ended soon after, I was woken up by the door.



      Notes:

      - It's possible these were two separate dreams, but I had a feeling they were linked in some sense.

      - JC is one of many friends I had at school that I got along with fairly well, but characteristically, after college I never really heard from him again and he didn't seem too interested in keeping in touch. I remember walking with him in town a few times and having long conversations, probably mostly about games though.

      - Although we shared a common name, physically we were very different and though he wasn't any weaker than me, I always thought he appeared somewhat meek. In this dream he sort of had an aura of over-confidence contradictory to how I knew him, which would have been more over-cautious than anything. In essence, the dream character as a persona was someone else, but took on his physical appearance. In the dream I was my current age, but perhaps with a younger style of thinking.

      - I may have seen a furry character before like the one in the first part of the dream, though I'm not certain if my brain was referencing anything specific. It felt like she was her own original thing, despite what I might consider to be a stereotype representation.
      -- On further thought, I found out about the sub-culture when I was in my mid-teens, which was also around the same time as I knew JC.

      - I don't know what the "GTA pussy" thing was about really, but even in the dream something felt out of place about it. Part of me realised on typing my initial notes that we really have no control over what our friends say sometimes and how we have to just get on and live with it or do something about it and potentially get into a conflict with them.

      - My over-analytical view of this dream is suggesting to me now I should probably try to do some more serious inner work on these subjects.

      Updated 12-03-2020 at 10:30 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
    6. Thursday, August 20

      by , 11-30-2020 at 07:28 AM
      I am with Dad and going into a Total Wine (*I notice no one wearing masks, but that concept doesnít seem to exist in this dream). Inside the foyer, Dad runs into one of his friends and they start talking. I now go search for ice cream and find some on the right, about halfway down the store. The store seems to be one long aisle. The ice cream is in different tubs in the vertical fridge. I donít know if the door is open or if there is none. There is a pecan flavor that I take a bite of and think is good. I am now towards the end of the building and Melissa is here too. There are large, high windows, through which I can see the beginning of the sunset. There are blotches of pink on the darker grey clouds. We all excitedly go out to look, and the building looks like a house now, an opulent house like you might see on a California beach. I look up in awe at the beauty. Dad tosses me into the air and I float up an impossible 30+ feet. He does this a few times, me reaching a new height each time. I notice an in-ground pool in this yard one of the times.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    7. clxxxvi. Racey driving, T helps me fight rogues, Death, old level, insane "mom"

      by , 11-01-2020 at 06:57 PM
      31st October 2020

      Dream:

      I'm driving, something like an Opel Insignia or some kind of BMW; an estate or car of that sort, at any rate. It had an automatic transmission but the throttle was under the left thumb on the steering wheel, not on the pedals. Effectively it only had a braking pedal. I remember driving up to a junction which would lead out into a motorway and it had four or five lanes. But the lanes were on the wrong side for where I live now. I was going too fast at first but I find I have to brake suddenly, as someone had spun out of control or was already going in the wrong direction anyway.

      I try to pick up the pace again and find that it's a lot less busy on the road now. I hope that H is following behind me soon. I get into a bit of a race of some kind with two other dream characters, each in their own cars.

      Control of the car felt OK for the most part but a bit wild at times and the road, for a motorway, was surprisingly hilly.

      Fragment:

      I'm the oldest version of my rogue from WoW, a dwarf rogue. T is with my on his human paladin and there are several rogues from the Horde skulking about. They try to kill me, opening with a stun but T heals me and they're a bit dumb and don't think to change targets so we just end up killing these two rogues without much bother. Then I spot another single rogue in stealth and I open on him and kill him too.

      All of us rogues had the same tier two helmet look-alike that was very common sometime after the middle of TBC.

      (Recall gap.)

      I'm Death from Darksiders II and I'm in one of the early-game areas, the town I think. I remember walking outside and there's a beautiful sunlight. This is the very tail end of what was quite a long dream of adventure and typical RPG themes.

      1st November 2020

      7:20; dreams from later on were not made note of and recall was lost.

      Fragment:

      Midway through a dream, JC was apparently talking to me via steam or something and we get talking about TF2 maps and I tell him about my old CTF map based on the UT "Face" map. This was a map I was making for TF2 that included a helicopter from regular HL2.

      But in the dream it's very different very quickly. At first it looks like my vague memory of the map when I last touched it, but then it becomes very realistic. I walk along a Red Base area which is this vividly realistic Egyptian themed area and there's an open courtyard, slightly raised above everything else, with a square-ish mini garden thing at its centre and the floor here is made up of limestone mosaic tiles of some kind, no bigger than one cm or half inch.

      I walk down some steps further toward the base, making note of a great pyramid centred to this courtyard area and see dunes further beyond in the distance.

      I then turn around and see the opposite Blue Base. It looks like Washington DC's capitol building and has vast gardens and water features and creates an interesting contrast to the Egyptian area I'm in.

      Taking out my phone, I start to try and take a panoramic shot of the bases to show JC but the sun starts to set beyond the Washington Base and it gets extremely dark very quickly and so I fail to take the shot, no less because I also stumbled on a step backwards as I was trying to get the angle.

      Fragment:

      Some bit in a warehouse-like place? Like an old 20s industrial building, not sure. Reminds me of old power plant buildings. It seems semi-abandoned but not. There's a character very much like Mom from Futurama and she's talking to a lackey of sorts, a woman in a dress; both of them were in large renaissance style dresses. But then the "Mom" stabs the lackey woman with a scalpel and I'm climbing up along a window's pillar at this time.

      There's something off about it all vs the context and I remark to the character that it seems like a continuity error (also see notes for last DJ entry) but she doesn't care, making some comment stating so. I become concerned she may want to stab me and we are both outside the building now on a semi-grassy area. The area resembled KF2's prison map now. She seems more insane than she perhaps should seem but I somehow trick her into giving me the scalpel while she busies herself disposing of the lackey's body or something, so I simply end up walking away.



      Notes:


      - In waking life, I spoke to HW the day before this dream and he said he'd hoped I'd return to WoW should there be a revival of TBC too.

      - Unfortunately, for most of these dreams I only made some very small notes and so didn't retain certain details I would have liked to have retained, but lately I feel far too tired in the morning to be able to write enough.

      - In the dream with the bases, it's interesting that the sun did set beyond the capitol building, as this would appear West to me (and so should the sun set there) and Egypt would appear to be Near East to me. Although I have had many dreams of sunsets and the like, I can't really recall any other instance where the sun did set so quickly and where everything turned darker than night.

      - The mosaic floor was particularly beautiful and may have come from having recently seen an interesting mosaic mural near where I live, which is unusual for this area, but the rest of the Egyptian theme came from something else; I'm not certain what prompted the capitol building's appearance but either way, both sides seemed to represent West and East in some sense.
    8. Sunday, June 21

      by , 06-24-2020 at 04:56 AM
      Iím on a walk. I get to the edge of a driveway, where a Black man has met and is talking to a white, male police officer. I get the impression he has come down here so the officer wonít go on his property. Now, another Black man comes out and does the same thing. The officer leaves amicably and then the first man turns to me and starts handing me some cash, a few crisp bills. He has short hair and seems very genuine. I think itís a few 20s and I donít even know what itís for, so I say no, I canít take it. The second man, with shoulder length dreads and baggier clothes, tries doing the same, and I think I give in. I think at the beginning of this, I put on headphones to listen to a Tedeschi Trucks Band show (the song was ĎLaugh About Ití into a drum segment). The weather was cooler - I had pants and a long sleeve. I was walking on the right side of the roads [sic] as two girls were coming towards me. I noticed a car coming from behind them and from behind me as I had to go around them to the left, thinking it would leave very little room for the cars.




      Iím walking into a store with Sage. I think itís a reptile or animal store. On the left, I notice three tanks on stands thatíve been covered with a black film or cover. Two older ladies working here say hi and then I think profile or customer service me. This irritates me as we walk into a larger back room, Sage way ahead of me.




      Iím on a walk and have ended up on what looks like a sandy hillside that overlooks a beach and the ocean? It is sunset and the thick and vivid layers of deep reds and oranges are absolutely beautiful. There is some kind of electronic trance music playing and it makes for a very ethereal moment. Iím now down on the beach and there are a bunch of people dancing to the music. The sunset is the background, but there are also strobe lights. I think I start dancing.





      Granny has died, but I feel comforted knowing that she had the opportunity to say bye to everyone and also that she came to me in a dream (*this seemed very real, and I was recalling pretty much exactly our visit with her yesterday).
    9. Where the Blue Door Leads

      by , 05-28-2020 at 06:38 AM
      Monday Night, 4/27/20

      I was playing in the ocean along with one or two companions. "Come on!" I said, rushing headfirst into the water, swimming as fast as I could. I was half experiencing, half simulating the ocean waves. Upon realizing there were no large waves crashing over me, I began to expect them which then led to their creation and my experience of having large waves tumble me about. The part of me that was scared was drowned out (no pun intended) by my overall sense that I was perfectly safe. A female friend came along with me past the large waves. We were then rapidly pulled far out to sea where the waters became deep and calm. My mind offered up a couple practical concerns. Aren't you worried about dangerous sea creatures the longer you're out here? How far off is land on the other side of this ocean? Won't you get tired of swimming and drown? I decided it was best not to think of dangerous sea creatures. I should simply focus on not splashing around too much. As to getting tired, I found I was able to easily swim at a fast pace with barely any effort. Later we transitioned to walking and gliding along the surface of the water.

      As night approached, the Narrator said that we would need a place to rest for the night. A dark blue door with orange trim around it appeared. I knew exactly what it was the moment I saw it. I opened it and we stepped through, into my room. Inside it was arranged a little differently than waking life, with bunk beds and a couple random piles of blankets, pillows, and sheets laying around, but it was still fully recognizable. I also found there was a second door which I could open to the rest of the house. I walked around in the upstairs hallway then went back into my room again. Strange. I thought, while my friend just seemed obsessed with playing in the blanket pile and rubbing her face against the pillows. I opened the blue door once again to see that, indeed, it still led right out to the middle of the ocean. "You can change where the door leads." The Narrator informed me. I closed the door and reopened it to try it out. It no longer led to the ocean, now it led to a random room. I closed it for good this time and prepared for sleep, though I don't think I actually did fall asleep.


      Spoiler for Additional Notes:
    10. Wednesday, April 29

      by , 05-01-2020 at 05:36 AM
      I am on a walk with Melissa, currently in a neighborhood. It seems nicer and the houses are not that close together, possibly because weíre on the outskirts of it. Now the houses are all but gone and it looks like weíre coming up on the Hunter Creek trail. We walk for a little bit up the slight grade and end up on a large driveway of faded, rusty orange stone. A few paces ahead of us there are about three or four kids also heading uphill. I think they are all girls. The oldest looks to be maybe eight and the youngest three or so. We nonchalantly keep walking with them and end up inside this large house on the hill. Melissa and I are in a smaller and tidy bedroom, maybe a guest room, and can hear the kids messing around behind the closed door of another room. Melissa now stands up and pulls her pants down; she is going to change. Before she can do anything else, there is some movement in the hallway and then a man and a teenage boy who is probably his son appear in the doorway. There is something off about both of their facial features. The whole scene is awkward. Melissa is wearing a shirt long enough to cover herself, but she does not pull her pants up. I assume the man is the homeowner and I am bracing for what comes next as he has just found two strangers in his house, but he just stands there and never says a word. For some reason, the waistband of my shorts (my blue athletic ones) is very low and Iím trying to discreetly pull them up. I know the scene looks bad too, with her pants down - from his perspective it probably looks like she was quickly trying to put them back on. I guess the man is just used to people showing up in his house, and now he is gone. I am now in a large, open living room. Another man with a small dog shows up. Itís just the two of us in here, so he starts talking to me, telling me the dog is Zoe. I tell him I have a Zoe too, a black lab. We make small talk as I throw a toy for this small dog. I think about introducing myself but never do, and he doesnít either. He has glasses, is somewhat dopey looking, and talks rather slow. This room has a window almost the size of the whole wall. Looking through it, I can see that itís close to sunset. There are hazy clouds with a tint of orange and closer to Mt. Rose there is a group of clouds with the sun behind them. There is a very large patio area with some people on it watching the sunset. I notice a couple, the guy behind the girl with his arms around her. The man in here makes a comment about some girls out there. I say something about my girlfriend being in the other room and then walk outside. I get to the end of the patio - it ends at a fairly steep rocky incline that has flat areas that you can still get to. There are a few people hanging out in these areas. I notice two girls laying on their backs, wearing shorts and tight grey tank tops. It is growing darker out and the sunset is getting good. There is a laptop out here playing a Dead and Company live stream, though the current song is nothing I recognize. (I think I somehow see the set list and the first few songs are nothing I recognize and nothing theyíve really played). Someone behind me is watching and right before they walk away they make a comment about them looking like Ďscience geeksí? I think itís because John is wearing glasses. I am looking at the sky again now and at one cloud in particular. This cloud, silhouetted by the sun, looks remarkably like an angel. There are wings, arms bent as if in prayer, and even a clear halo. I quickly take my phone out to take a picture to send to Mom. I take a picture and a video just in case the clouds shift. When I look back at the video, I see the part of the cloud that looks like the arm very quickly move to its face and back down, as if wiping a tear. I think this whole thing is miraculous.
    11. Tuesday, March 31

      by , 04-13-2020 at 12:32 AM
      I am walking through what looks like Dadís neighborhood (maybe on one of the higher streets, like Virginia Foothills). I run into Kat and she ends up walking with me. It is near sunset and some of the lower and plumper clouds are getting some color. The rest are smaller and almost evenly spaced, bright white against the blue. I look directly up and notice a glowing sliver of the moon. Itís all very pretty. Kat mentions the sky too, saying sheís grateful for Emma for getting her to pay more attention to it, and that she wants to see it more often. I take some pictures of it as we walk. We end up at her house. I think the garage door is open, and I can tell by the way sheís talking that she has intentions to leave now. Before she does, I somewhat bluntly mention how I want to stop drinking. This seems to pique her interest, and she talks to me about it. I tell her I feel like quitting altogether but am not sure if I should stick with moderation. She pulls a little red champagne flute from somewhere and hands it to me, saying I could use it for moderation. I look at it and its almost grimy looking opaque sides, imagining how it might hold a small serving. I kind of like the idea and think I might take it, but then change my mind. I say that I want it to be a mindset thing and not something like this. Now, Chelsea has shown up, I think in a car. She stands behind us and when she sees me she recognizes me but thinks Iím someone else. I tell her no and think it slightly odd that she wouldnít remember me. I am now walking back, now either on a dirt road or a road surrounded by dirt and small hills. Thereís a small stream of water running down this slope, through the soil and grasses. I follow it and see where it meets another stream on an opposing slope, turning to one and running downwards. I look out to my left and notice a hill where water appears to be coming from. Thereís a tiny canyon carved into the soft looking dark brown soil, and I imagine walking through it. I am walking right by where the streams meet, doing okay with stepping on the sturdier patches of soil and grasses. Most of it is still soft and itís hard to tell what will give, so I end up getting both of my shoes wet and muddy. I end up back home, rinsing and scrubbing them. I put them out to dry even though itís pretty overcast.




      Iíve gotten an email from the new girl at work (itís not actually the girl who is supposed to start. I think I see a profile picture on the email or something and itís an unfamiliar heavyset white girl). Sheís asking about me not being there for a shift, but Iím pretty sure I havenít been scheduled. I think Iíve been using time off. She sounds more like a manager than a coworker and kind of annoying. After the text there are a few pictures of a hotel room - I think it must be a work thing. The hotel seems nice and also very familiar. I think I must have stayed there before. I think it looks more impressive than it actually is. A picture of the shower shows the floor of small, dark pebbles and the opposing stainless steel shower heads. Now, I am in the hotel. It looks like someone had just been here but tidied a bit before leaving, so I guess I just missed her. Thereís a full looking black garbage bag in the abnormally large space adjacent to the toilet. The toilet itself actually has a garbage bag around it, somehow from the ground up. I adjust the opening of the bag so as to be able to use the toilet.




      I am somewhere with the family. Weíre in a plain, rectangular building that is for something like customs or passports or photos (something that we have to do together as a family). I notice quite a few other families here too, I think seated at tables. Whatever weíre doing here, the personale is being very aggressive with us. They are making us do tasks or challenges that seemed to be designed to result only in failure. A younger guy, I think in a uniform, tries to handcuff me but only gets one finger. He notices, his facial expression betraying his embarrassment, and tries again. The same happens, though he doesnít notice this time. He tells me to now ďclap above your head and find some shade.Ē I think he also holds me down to ensure failure. Still, I succeed in clapping above my head, slightly satisfied with defying his expectation of failure. Iím not sure about the shade part though. These things go on for a while longer. When we are done, Iím thinking about how Iím going to write to someone about how atrociously we were treated.




      From a third person perspective I am seeing a high rise building (a hotel) that stands alone on a sprawling fine sand beach. The building seems somewhat modern and is mostly a tower but with some structural embellishments at the base. It is also way too near the water and, in fact, there is currently water submerging the first few floors. I think thereís something about the occupants just staying inside when it floods, though that seems counter intuitive. Someone is interviewing a lone, blond man maybe in his late 20s. He seems foreign, probably European, though he is speaking more articulately than most native speakers. I think heís talking about the structural design and why it is flooding.
    12. Wednesday, January 15

      by , 01-16-2020 at 08:39 PM
      I am looking at a house for rent with Melissa. It looks like it is in the South Meadows area. It looks nice and fairly inconspicuous from the street, but when we get inside I am really impressed. There are nice wood floors and two levels. The stairs end in a little landing that overlooks the first floor. I open the back doors, stepping onto a patio that is unenclosed and almost flush with the surrounding marshland. The sun is setting, filling the clouds with a cotton candy pink that contrasts beautifully with the winter blue of the sky. This coupled with the reflections in the water creates a beautiful, peaceful scene that I feel immersed in. Back inside, I express to Melissa how much I like this place. I was thinking the rent was $1,800, but when we step out front I see a paper taped to a window that says $3,800. I tell Melissa, but I think she already knew. Kris now appears and says something about a family just moving in or out - out, I think. We then follow her into her house which is right over here. The inside seems fairly simple, yet homey.
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    13. Tuesday, August 13

      by , 09-09-2019 at 11:08 PM
      I am with Melissa in Virginia City at a brewpub or something similar. Weíve parked along the side of the road and it seemed like more of a steep incline, like the road around Tahoe. We walk up and take seats at the counter. The waitress seems a little younger, nice, and laid back. I look at the beer menu and the double door beer fridge. The fridge seems to have a better selection, and I decide on picking something from it. An older lady walks up to it and grabs a Black Butte Porter. I notice a ceramic, 11oz bottle of Delirium Tremens. I also notice, at the very bottom, what looks like ceramic, 2 L sized containers of Delirium on their sides. I wonder the price of each and then go grab one of the small bottles. I sit back down and think weíre going to order food also. The waitress is talking about something going on, but has to explain it because itís our first time here. I now pour my beer into a regular pint glass. I realize it is not Delirium Tremens, but rather Delirium ĎTremí or ĎTremení, which I assume is a different style of beer from the same brewery. I think it is a saison. It is a very nice hazy light orange, and it tastes very good. I notice that Melissa has a tulip shaped glass with a little bit of water in it; I think about stealing it to use instead of the regular pint glass. I also think this beer is closer to 4% than the 8% of the Tremens. I think about being responsible since Iím driving, but I also think about how itís nice up here and how we could just not worry about going back and go to a few more places.




      Iím driving to Carson City, and the freeway seems more straight ahead and lower in elevation. It is sunset, and the sunset is beautiful. The clouds are thick and heavy and dark, full of dark orange and red and spots of purple. I see the backyards of houses to my right. I know theyíre close to the freeway, but they still seem nice. The yards are small and close together, most with a good assortment of trees, some with string lights. I think about living out here since itís smaller, thinking the drive might be worth it if I worked out south and/or mainly stayed out here. I think that it would be closer to Tahoe.
    14. 19-04-15 Car Crash in River, Nuke on Horizon

      by , 04-15-2019 at 04:48 PM
      I was in the passenger seat of a car. A man was driving. Then, he lost control of the car and drove into a river. He told me to brace. I immediately started opening the door, even before the car hit the water, because I knew opening a car door underwater is very hard. I waded to the shore. I looked out at the horizon, and it was beautiful. A gorgeous orange sunset. I knew this was the US, and I wanted to capture this moment before I'd have to go home. I took out my phone and started to take a picture. But then, on that same horizon, I saw what the sunset really was. A massive mushroom cloud rose into the sky. I was like "oh, no" and ran away. I ran through a small town, and yelled at everyone to take cover as a nuke had hit a nearby city. No one believed me, and I was laughed at. Then, I began realizing this wasn't real. I could feel it, like a haze of some sorts. Hard to explain. I told the people that I knew, and they admitted it was all just a dream. A kind of prank. I laughed along with them at this "you got me" moment.
    15. xiii.

      by , 07-31-2018 at 08:54 AM
      Non-dream stuff: A very long non-lucid dream. I only remember one part of it, that I held on to loosely as I was quickly forgetting everything, deciding this was the most important part to remember.



      Dream sequence:

      I was in my native country, in the dream context it had been explained why I think but I can't remember it. I was in a small town and it was day, looking to soon be sunset, as everything looked a bit orange.

      This was just a typical town and I was wandering around and there was an old brown-stone church, with one of its doors wide open. I walked in, and I remember I was looking at the floor just before doing so and seeing a roach type bug, but small. In the dream context there was something about going to visit local landmarks. When I entered it wasn't like a church at all, but a community centre of some kind. It was deserted. All the lights were on, but there were many many webs... and spiders, weird ones, some almost as big as my hand. I was very wary, but something compelled me to continue and I kept my instinctive fear in check, wondering why I was fearing them, they were just stood there on their webs, undisturbed for years, clearly.

      I wandered through the first two rooms, and the second room was at the "back" and had large modern glass windows that were letting the sunset light in. Everything had that orange light bath, as expected. I used my boot to clear away some webs I just couldn't avoid if I wanted to move further. After having a look around in this room, where there had been some displays of some kind, I turn back a bit and again have to carefully remove some webs from the way, feeling extremely wary of the spiders on it. I remember being in a room or common hall that connected other rooms and there was a bag of some kind on a swivel office chair. On topof the bag was a black leather wallet. Everything was absolutely covered in webs and I looked at the wallet with the intent of seeing what was inside and taking it, but I saw a slightly open door and could sense something. It was a very small room, a cupboard of some kind, and I couldn't fully open the door in, because of an object inside. The light inside the tiny room was also on, oddly. I reached with my left arm into the room and felt something stony and as I touched it, I saw the wallet and bag disappear and heard a female voice saying "You have resisted temptation. You are blessed with protection." I could "see" an interface icon showing a "buff" as in a game, but the context of the dream felt all too real.

      I remember exploring a little more but there were some areas that didn't have lights on and were getting on for darkness. It is implied in the dream that I went into these areas, as next I remember being at a doorway in the same building and walking into my the room my mom uses as an office at home in waking life, except the view through the windows was part of the dream context. I found it odd to find this room, but didn't question it much. I looked at her computer screen. It was on, something about this feels emotional though I have no idea now what was on the screen, other than the fact that on some timestamp it said the date was "2013". It was 2018, I knew this in the dream context. I took a photograph with my phone of the screen, and I thought something but I can't remember what. I seem to remember that at some point before this in the dream I'd found something else pertaining to my mom, from the past also. Even in the dream I couldn't help but wonder, are these things I'm finding related to her mental health?

      I know I went out of that room but I cannot remember more details, even though the dream sequence didn't end there.



      Some notes (spread out because they'd be too dense to read otherwise):
      • The sunset is a dream-sign. I hadn't realised this before. It is distinctly different from all other times of day, and in my dreams it always represents "the end" (of time, in some way).


      • Even in the dream I thought everything in that light looked beautiful.


      • As I saw all those spiders, I was about to react instinctively and let out some reaction of fear, but the fact that in the dream I had strongly intended to go into this building and that I somehow felt compelled to go further in, made me remember my practice of trying to keep my fear in check. This is the first time in a dream that I have truly suppressed such a basic and intense fear, as far "consciously" as my dream mind would allow. Keep in context that I have been an arachnophobe almost all of my life until very recently, and that in dreams basic fears and instincts are much, much stronger in my behaviour.


      • In the dream context I remember being told by someone to look at the local points of interest and landmarks because I could be interested in them and because they needed people to do some tourism around here. That's the context I had for the "church".


      • The bag/purse under the wallet was magenta. The office chair was a deep blue, I think.


      • All I can remember seeing on that computer screen was a few different windows open, and maybe an image as one of the windows, which is what had the timestamp. In my dream, I knew that my mom had not been in this office for a long time. It looked just as the rest of the community centre.


      • I do not know why even out of the dream now I feel some strong emotion thinking about the date and the screen. As far as I remember, 2013 was no different for my mom, if anything, her mental health has improved greatly since then. But considering it now, it was also when I moved to where I live now, away from my native country.


      • At some point in the dream I understood the sunset feeling like "end", though I'm still not certain what about.


      • The community centre (which was actually the church, after all) corridors and rooms looked, actually, much more like a very stereotypical office building and some doctors offices I've been to.


      • As for the context of my mom's mental health, she suffers from bipolar or something the like, but has it very well controlled by medication these days.

      Updated 08-13-2020 at 01:23 AM by 95293 (Butchered the list a bit to make it more readable instead of it being all condensed.)

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment , side notes
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