Accidentally deleted this journal, so I'm rewriting what I can remember of it. --- I was in my childhood home standing on the balcony. I looked up and saw what looked like a cancerous formation in the sky (a patch of red that began to grow). When the sun went down, some people with weapons and flashlights showed up. My family ducked behind the furniture. I was lucid and decided not to buy into the fear, so I stepped outside, knowing it was me they wanted. They proceeded to kidnap me, having me get into a van. In the van, I went to the front and saw the driver, a woman with straight black hair. I talked to her, asked what was going on. I can't remember the full conversation and lost the journal for this, but she told me about how she was dying of a medical illness and needed a large sum of money to pay for treatment. Due to unbridled capitalism and its goal of limitless growth at the expense of life (like a cancer), crime was her last resort for health care to save her life. That's why she kidnapped me. I reached forward from the back of the van (through the little window) and materialized money out of my hands. She was stunned. I told her that her world is my dream. She was a bit horrified at first, though because she was already facing terminal illness, I think she took it better than some. I felt like I was going to wake up soon and told her I had to go. I asked if there was anything else I could do for her before I left. She was still stunned, but asked if I could change her hair. So I kept myself asleep for a while to do her hair like she wanted, changing it on a biological level so it would stay permanent. I then woke up and it was morning.
Updated 01-12-2023 at 07:42 PM by 99032
I was either looking for or already living in a new house. At one point, things looked 2-dimensional, as if I was playing a simple browser-based game (Think graphics like diep.io or world's hardest game- simple geometric lines and shapes, with a white/greyish background and black lines representing floors and walls). I didn't notice at first, but it was really tall- I was going up the stories and they were getting progressively more unstable (this seems to be a theme in my more recent dreams) to the point that I felt unsafe. There were 6 floors in total; for some reason I was accessing them from the outside via some sort of ladder? And the openings to the different floors were very short, so I would have had to slide in on my back. Obviously, I was afraid of falling six stories (but nothing occurred to me that it was out of the ordinary to be living in a six-story, rectangular house). Then, at one point, the setting shifted very temporarily to an RV/trailer, where I had people all around me helping me get ready for something. I realized I was a celebrity- I looked totally different, and for some reason the name Anne Hathaway was really strong in that, so I'll just assume I was her. I was a lot prettier, probably 10 years older, and I carried myself with much more confidence than I would IWL. The vibe was nice but not too formal, and I had my hair tied back. Right by the trailer, I went into a big mansion and sat on a luxurious couch, and decided to take a selfie with a few other people who were there. I did a lighthearted duck face and some sort of pose. I was working on a project- apparently, a talk show. The lighting was all natural light with sun shining from large windows behind the couch, though, and whether or not there was an audience there was pretty ambiguous; but I think I remember cameras. At one point, my manager(s)/agent were telling me I needed a new, sharper look. I looked at myself in the mirror; I had similar hair to IWL (About shoulder length with bangs) but my hair was sleeker with no layers- more of a bob than the shaggy style I actually have. I envisioned different ways I could change it, including a short A-line cut but quickly realized that it was a Karen cut and I didn't want that. I don't remember much after that.
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP At some foreign country in need of a job to support myself. Meet some girl who brings me to a place where they need people to welcome and serve some VIPs. All seems very proper and respectful. Most are scientists, Nobel prize winners, rich investors, all dressed up for a gala. I am helping at the entrance, checking out who's listed or not. When things calm down, the lady boss managing the workers comes to ask me if I would like a better paid job, joining a special group of girls entertaining a few select guests at an upper floor. My friend encourages me, excited about it, but I immediately think it can only be prostitution and in fear of falling into a prostitution ring and just become a sex slave, I refuse to do it. They insist I'd enjoy and I could just go take a look, but I am afraid they'll kidnap me. Later on, I find out it was merely an entertaining position, like a geisha, nothing sexual is meant to happen. At my grandparents home in Moita, but a totally fictional situation. My late cousin Rui is there and the garden and the house are magically maintained as in the old days. We are sitting in the couch talking about our past. Incestuous feelings take over and we hold hands and I cuddle his hair. Then we kiss exactly when his mother comes in and reacts with great shock. She then pretends she didn't see it and sits by his side, says he needs to cut his hair. Goes get a scissor and starts doing it. Then she also cuts bits of my hair with the clear intention to make me look awful as a punishment, but she ends up giving me a very avant-garde asymmetrical look that with a few adjustments looks pretty cool. Staying with a community living in an abandoned school and exploiting it as a hostel. I stay there for a couple days while I am meeting with some friends. Then it is time to go catch a train and I realize I don't know where my backpack is. I suspect they stole it. They deny and say they'll help me look for it, but first they need a hand preparing lunch for the guests and insist I help them. Someone shakes his head slightly and tries to warn me about something. I have the feeling they wanna keep me there for forced labor and won't give me my documents and stuff to keep me stuck there. But for now I play their game, because they don't know I can fly and have other powers and I know I can easily escape later if I want to.
I’m going with Makayla to get her hair cut. We are at what looks like an apartment complex’s outdoor pool. There may be some others here. Makayla sits in a chair near the water, and it is Tess what shows up to cut her hair. I’m aware that my hair’s getting a little long, and I wonder if she'll trim it really quick. It doesn’t seem like she’s going to. I think my hair is quite longer than I ever keep it, maybe a few inches all around. It feels coarse.
I am at Nathaniel’s, watching him for a while. I’m lying on my back, with my legs straight up, him balancing his torso horizontally on my feet and holding my hands to balance. He seems to be having fun, and his personality is just as I remember it. Now, his dad is here, and he is just as nice as I remember him too. I am walking into what I think is a huge Walmart. As I walk in, I am cognizant of my middle parted hair hanging almost to my shoulders. I’ve decided that I am growing it out again and am pretty happy with this resolution. I also remember asking Makayla and her saying I should. I think I am going in here for a Christmas gift. I think I’ll look in the kitchen aisle for Mom and then I think for Melissa too. I end up not even finding the aisle, but end up by the cases of water. Everything looks like it is in bulk. I also notice bulk sized jugs of different tequilas and vodkas for around $10. One is called ‘Jimmy John’s Vodka’, which I think cannot be that good. I then get the idea to look at the beer, just to see what they have. There is a somewhat small selection on a few shelves, but then I notice that it is labeled ‘non alcoholic’. I step out into the wide and long main aisle (almost the size of a street) and notice a guy coming towards me on a bike. I started stepping into his path, but then wait for him to pass. I think I am also aware of my eyesight and how it is not that good. I have found the beer aisle now, which seems to be mostly six packs of cans in cardboard boxes. Nothing really looks that appealing. One says ‘Finally Harvest Time’ and has a graphic of a moon and the silhouette of a person. I think that can’t be that good either. Now, I am by some food products and wonder if I should just grocery shop while I am here. I don’t have a basket, but I can carry a few things. I am looking at the breads, thinking about what I would use them for. There is one that looks like four large pretzel rolls. I then notice the same package in someone’s cart, and the bottoms of the rolls look slightly burned. At the end of the aisle now, I see a large, circular, plastic container of frozen chicken tenders. There seems to be three groups, each arranged around a thing of sauce? The label indicates that it is a Phil Lesh brand, which I think is cool. I pick it up, contemplating getting it, but put it back because it’s really big. Then, I hear Phil himself over the intercom, saying that it’s my last chance if I was thinking about getting those. His voice is calm and monotonous, which makes it sort of humorous.
I think I am outside? when I realize that I had a haircut appointment on the second of July that I completely forgot to go to. I briefly see my calendar (at Dad’s?) and see it written on the second, along with the other stuff I’m doing this month. I think I missed it because that’s when we were in Portland, but it’s still hard for me to believe that I’d just miss an appointment. I realize that it’s been a week or so since the second. I consider texting her but am not sure if she’d even still want my business. Now I am considering growing my hair out. Dad is brushing his fingers through it, telling me that it naturally parts in the middle. I think Mom and Makayla also express that they like it longer, a bit excited at the prospect. I think about what it was like long, weighing the pros and cons. It’s already getting a bit long, so I think I decide I’m going to grow it out.
I am at work and entering the fitting room. I am not alone either; at least four other people are also entering at the same time. I notice a fairly dirty looking guy in his 20s and his female companion. He has long and shaggy brown hair (or dreads) and baggy clothes, and she has dark hair and pants and a somewhat skimpy purple tank top. The guy, with a sort of detached fervor, starts grabbing anything in reach on the folding tables (I notice a folded dress shirt) like he’s going to take them into the stall and steal them. I think he has not noticed that I work here. I say “hey man” kind of casually, which startles him and causes him to look guilty and remorseful. I think he leaves now, and I start checking the stalls. Most have a floor completely obscured by tried on and tossed clothes. One contains a man passed out or sleeping on the floor and amongst the clothes. I don’t even know what to do. Now I am helping ring up customers, and I notice the guy what was going to steal. He is actually buying a pair of black slacks. I am with Melissa in a bed. I think we are just cuddling and talking. Now out of nowhere it begins to snow. Almost immediately the roads are covered. (It looks like downtown, like the street parallel to the river and behind the movie theater). I offer to give her a ride wherever so she doesn’t have to drive in it. I think it’s out of the way or will create a problem with where the cars are, but I don’t mind going out of my way. Now, I am driving us somewhere. I think Melissa says something about the speed, as if I’m going too slow. Right after, the car violently slides out and then corrects itself after a tense moment. (I think this one was part of another dream that I can’t recall. It has a weird feeling to it). I’ve been watching a movie that is or is very similar to Hereditary. I have an image of Charlie’s decapitated head in my mind. It looks more animated and like it has more skin on the face, around the eyelids and lip areas. I think there is some distinct, enigmatic, seminal plot to this movie that I can’t stop thinking about. I am sitting at Melissa’s kitchen table in the seat facing the sliding door. At least Carlos and one other family member is here. They’re talking about late puberty? (like in their early 20s). I lift my bare leg up so they can see the hair on it and say “I haven’t seen my legs since like fourth grade.” It elicits some chuckles. I then feel slightly self conscious about putting my bare foot on their table.
I am at some small event in some smaller event room. There are people from work here as well as Sage and maybe her boyfriend. I have come here with Makayla; I think it is somewhere in California. Makayla calls Mom to ask if we can stay here for dinner. I say, mostly to myself since she’s on the phone, that Mom could throw us a 20 and it would help. Mom says yes, inciting a subdued bout of excitement. I envision taking an Uber back just as a humorous scenario, mentally gawking at what it would cost if they even go that far. I am seated now, at the end of one of two tables that abuts the other. Against the wall and on smaller display tables are the beers on tap. Each actually looks like its own little machine - they range in appearance from slushee machines to small drink vending machines, etc, each with their own design for the beer within. Evelyn from work is looking at them all, very closely. I wasn’t going to go up and look at them alone, so I take this opportunity. There are some fairly good options, but nothing amazing. I think I see the Sierra Nevada Torpedo. I think there is a porter and a hefeweizen, the hefe in what looks like a pineapple yellow pina colada machine. I think its name is slightly off - actually Heineken or something? I think I decide to pass on it because it seems like a bad imitation of the style. I think I end up with a glass of the Torpedo. I’m now seated again, across from Sage and maybe her boyfriend. The apparent host, a petite, bald, bespectacled man wearing a white apron around his waist, is coming around and jovially making sure everything and everyone is okay. Everyone seems to be uplifted by this quaint man’s demeanor. He takes Sage’s order, which is ‘spare pork’. I now see a plate of it in front of her, three or four generously sized slices of pork. He looks at me now, and I want the same thing, but ‘spare pork’ sounds wrong, so I say instead ‘the same thing’. I notice my drink is a few sips away from being empty. I want to order another while I have the service available, but I also don’t want to ask for more while I still have some. I am working a wedding. I am standing outside and near the entrance gate to what seems to be a large, upscale country club. Everything seems spread out, showcasing the grassy, and in places marshy, land. It seems like a pleasant day. I am holding a fairly big gift bag - it is for the couple whom I just saw but now cannot find. I feel sort of out of place. I want to get this gift to them, but guests keep showing up, expecting me to direct them. A lifted, impossibly white truck approaches; the driver is impeccably clean cut and dressed in an effortlessly classy and flattering suit. Through his open window, he tells me that he likes my shoes. They are my new ones (that I bought at work). I’m also wearing dress pants and a tucked dress shirt. He now asks me where the ‘halfway point’ is, and I hesitate. He asks again, kind of snootily, as if I should know right away. It makes me feel kind of stupid. I then recall an image of a white line on some asphalt, so I tell the man to continue on and he will see the halfway point marked with a white line, gesturing with my hands. To my left, I see the asphalt walkway meandering through and then becoming obscured by some tall grasses. I see men in suits walking with girls in dresses, all pastel colors, and it is idyllic. I now start walking, but I am not on any walkway. The ground is marshy; my feet start to sink enough to get the tops of my shoes wet. Beth has apparently been watching me and asks what I’m doing. I inwardly agree with her sentiment and start to come back. I still want to give them this gift though, so I start again, though this time I seem to be holding onto some kind of ledge and traversing with my feet also on some small lip of something more solid than the marsh. It all seems cramped and small and obscured by the foliage. *It is as I’m doing this that I hear my alarm go off. Mom is in my room and has apparently been going through my stuff, as she is holding up what’s left of a joint in a plastic bag that was hidden in my laundry basket. She seems really upset, mad, or disappointed. I’m not sure why; it’s really not that big of a deal to me. She’s also holding some new clothes she got for me. There are some tank tops on hangers and some red and blue underwear that look more like Speedos. I take them and hang them in the closet; they are a tight fit. I think I’m getting ready to go to class or work. I am in the bathroom with Melissa. I am naked at least from the waist down, and using some hair removal cream? on my pubic region. For whatever reason, I start rubbing it on my lower legs, until it starts to feel like there’s less hair (I didn’t intend to remove the hair on my legs). I tell Melissa I just accidentally removed all my leg hair and she doesn’t believe me. I rub my legs, feeling only skin and stubble.
Sep 26 2018 [D] I'm on a bed in early morning daylight. F is there and urges me to leave the bed and go to a courtyard/street. It reminds me of 6 courtyard mixed with the street I drive to work everyday. The dream transitions and I'm in 9 on the couch. To the left on the treadmill is one of my cousins. He's laughing. Suddenly he's in the hallway and has a large twisted plastic lattice tucked somehow into his briefs (he's also wearing a t-shirt and socks). Later I'm in a bathroom with F who's trying to get something from the medicine cabinet. We're switching apartments or houses this day. The hair on my legs is 20 times longer and hangs off at the sides like a wavy beard. My dream self thinks/makes a comment about being like a Yak but F is busy and doesn't respond. In retrospect I looked like a satyr. I'm worrying about work, something related to me being adopted and I say the wrong thing. I'm in a sundown-lit street with F, F is mad at me for something. I'm drunk, running down a street along the sidewalk on the left side. I almost run into several poles and fences. There are people at several houses/front lawns which are restaurants, some people are leaning back in their chairs and heads are over the fence. I arrive at F's grandma's house. She and a lot of people my age and younger are sitting around tables under a pop up tent in her driveway. I see her and she looks mad at me, I try to appease her by offering to make some pink lemonade (there's a huge pink lemonade canister, probably a foot and a half in diameter and a foot tall, which is mostly empty and somewhat crusty [like how it gets when the powder has been opened and closed so many times and exposed to moisture for too long]). She refuses my offer and refuses to speak to me. Eventually I sit down and notice the cousin from before is on the other side of the table. Finally F's grandma confronts me about the work/adoption issue from before, and says "I thought you were moving in". I try to explain but it all comes out wrong. I understand that my cousin is jealous of my living situation/work because he lives here with F's grandma. This was all one long dream btw, very vivid. The running dream was interesting -- in these dreams my awareness is usually activated.
Jan 23 I find myself in my childhood school yard with high awareness. The scene is quite dark, but I nevertheless take the time to inspect in detail all of the dream characters that surround me. While some of them look quite ugly or even menacing, I live out the realization that all these people are just a reflection of my mind, they are all me. I spend some time happily shouting this and engaging the DCs. A bit later, I recall I was planning to do the task of the month (basic ii). A wave of urgency hits me as I remember the month is drawing to end, and also the dream may be over quite soon too. As I walk down the street, I follow the plan in case I found myself outdoors, to look for a mirror on a nearby car. The dream scene is quite dark, but I am still able to locate a car and move closer to examine my reflection. The image looks a bit smaller than it would in real life, so I lean even closer. I don't look quite like myself initially. The effect seems more like a dream quality issue - the image is quite distorted, although, as the mirror is slightly curved, one would actually expect it to be. After gazing into the reflection for a while, it starts to resemble me more. My hair is a bit wavy though. Overall, the dream reflection is quite happy. I finally get to the task of making my hair longer, although this proves more challenging than expected. I try to will my hair to become longer, but dream control's not quite working. I then decide to take things into my own hands, literally, and gently pull my hair down to stretch it. This seems to do the trick and it increases in length. I enjoy the completion of the task for a brief moment, waking up shortly afterwards.
Date of Dream: MON 16 OCT Dream No. 212 - A Wig Full Of Rubbish I can't remember much about this dream. From where I can remember, I was looking at myself in the mirror and I noticed these big pieces of dandruff in my hair. As soon as I touched the piece of dandruff, it turned into an actual piece of rubbish. Soon enough I was pulling out of my hair plastic bags, chip packets and much more. That's all I can remember in regards to this dream. Dream Trophies Achieved: - None
Not much to be said here. I found myself in the men's room at my local mall. I was looking in the mirror that was mounted on the door and noticed that my hair looked like it had been cut recently. That wasn't right. My hair had been cut weeks ago and was already growing back. This can't be right unless... I realized I was dreaming and was unsure as to what to do. I'm not sure why but I went ahead and decided to send an email on my phone to a familiar that I met in a previous dream. She never responded so I walked through the mall looking around for anything out of the ordinary I made it the escalator at the other end of the mall and decided to turn back only to find that a rock band had materialized behind me. There stacks of records blocking that hall so I was unable to go back the way I came. That's all that happened. Then I woke up.
D1 - At an office with lota of and lots of files bound up with string and some in leather. K is best employee and is showing me how to do something. We then go into the main office with and old desk and chair (no computer, it is pre-computers). When I use the old landline phone and go to put my mouth to the phone a woman with wavey hair kisses me repeatedly. Its nice and warm and soothing. mini-chain - somewhere else in the building a man (looks like a old police canteen) is being given a custard pie then a meat pie for his good work? D2 - In a game world (repeated dream). The world is vast and outside in large fields. I am following a path through the levels. D3 - I am in a cramped house/apartment but it just constists of a small hall which leads from a room which is like a changing room with benches to a bathroom. My partner leaves and I am left with Mr B . I go into the bathroom as I am late for work. I look at the hairs on my face, not in the mirror but all around me, as my hair is standing out really long, from my face and head. It is suspended as though either there is no gravity or it is alive. But infact it has the energise of the universe pulsating through it, causing it to be directed in certain directions like many millions of medusa snakes. This hair sequences is oh so incredibly vivid.
There was a dog. It bit my sister's left little finger. I told told her she shouldn't have tried to cover the dog's mouth while it was trying to eat something. I was in a meeting. A new place. There are many new people, but there were familiar ones too, some coworkers and some from parkour. I was introducing a new guy to friends. I remember seeing Pie there with her hair cut short. The guy knows her. --- - Slept 4am, woke up around 8, slept and woke up around 11:30.
D1 - Siren was in my dream as a fellow teacher but me being such a "spiritual" person I remonstrated her when she complained about some paperwork. Saying "All is perfect, if you remember the way of the Tao". I don't remember what happened after that, maybe she k.o'ed me ^^ the way of the wronged D2 - At work again, I notice something strange about the office photo, everyone is standing around with the photocopier in the background. However I notice that four of the employees all have the same sticky up black hair (not unlike a mop) they are clearly all related. The dream then splits as I turn the photo into a DT project cutting it in half so I can put a hinge on it and real black mop hair as a cover at the top Oo. D3 - back in class I haven't preped for a lesson on something - science. I quiz a load of unusually tall and snooty girls outside (same brown blazers as mindcontrol ones) about contents of lesson. I get some equipment together and soldier on not knowing what i'm doing with my class.
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