memorable

I am a scientist; short, and dressed in a white lab coat.
My basement is a concrete laboratory in which I am testing wormholes. The black hole is generated. I throw a penny into it in order to see if it works, my eyes fixated on the camera I had set up at a location in the desert. A wormhole appears, just as I suspected, and consumes all the sand in the area, and I notice a single penny come out of the wormhole. All of a sudden, sand fills my basement; the black hole dissipated into some weird black mechanical ball with buttons. I barely manage to escape with the strange device without being suffocated. After splitting the ball, a massive, complex, and utterly green wireframe is revealed.
"I... I solved all of humanity's problems!" I shouted, laughing.
An unspecified many years later, there is a space station with the words, "<my name that you probably don't know> memorial: a History of Faster Than Light Travel," engraved on a sign attached to the top(according to my perspective) of the space station. After that, it's a rather slow fade back into reality
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I'm glad I had this dream; it taught me a lot about the desire I had apparently hidden deep in my subconscious, away from even myself. Specifically, the thirst that I only knew about after having this dream, the deep, utterly human desire to be recognized with respect from doing something that I love to do. I don't generally like any attention, but this dream made me realize that, even I , the silent little weirdo who would always distance myself from others, wanted to be recognized, no matter how much I believe otherwise.

This dream was really something else.

It all begins at a house party. I've come with my friend Wil, but in the middle of the thing we got split off. I met these other dudes who were having a great time partying and I did something that gained me serious respect from them, what it is I cannot recall. At the party I met these two girls. The were clearly Nesbitt and Madison, but they acted like strangers. I realized that I was in some school of sorts, for mechanical engineering or the like. I went to a class in a shack on the hill, and all the dudes from the party were there. I was with Nesbitt and wanted to keep hitting on her so we sat together, and my new friend from the party, who was like Wil combined with a rednek bro, he sat at the table next to us. We started signalling that we just wanted to party, so I began figuring out how to drink in there instead of payaing attention to the lesson. Eventually the teacher left and we went into the city down the hill and got a bunch of beer, then went back up to the cabin. We started drinking and singing and being fools.

Skip forward several days and we've become regulars at this. The ditch next to the cabin is littered with beer cans and the like and the girls always come with us. One night I go up there alone, and I find a godlike figure training his powers for some reason. This distracts me and I miss out on meeting up with the kids. I returned the next night and nobody was there. I went into the cabin and became extremely present, really analyzing the place. Small room with a sink, candle or gas lamps for lighting. There was a little staircase/ladder that lead up, and at the top there was just a tiny sleeping bag and a bedside table. I wondered how many kids had snuck off to this place and made love right there.

As I descended the mountain I realized how much I missed my friends. I saw Madison walking along the bottom of the hill, and I wanted to call out to her but it didn't feel right. I let her

The last night. I'm wandering the city alone, when I hear a distressed voice. Madison is with her girlfriends who are all dressed up. She's in a black dress with Mascara running down her cheeks, and is expressing sadness over a boy who left her. "Why did he do that? Am I too ugly? I thought he liked me."
I walked right up to her, locking eyes as I did so and kissed her. Everything melted away and this moment stretched on for a long time, seemingly in all different places as if a montage of the next few months of our love.

I'm in the cabin again. I'm with Nesbitt and the guys, and I realize the lesson is the same. Everything is the same. I understand that there is nothing else but this cabin and this hill and this town. This is not reality. I try to stand on my desk, defying the laws of this space. I'm met with a celing, soft and make of the literal fabric of spacetime.

I get angry. I get real mad. I tell Lily I'm done living in this universe. I grab a handful of the stuff in each hand, and arms raised above my head I just start ripping. Layer after layer after layer, they could go on forever but so can I. My head slowly moves up more and more, no longer hunched over but nearly fully standing up on the desk as the layers rip away. I can hear birds, something I realize do not exist here on this hill. I can see a faint shade of blue trickling through the material.

In one final tear and raging push with my head, I break through. I broke through. It's beautiful. The sky is a wildly vivid shade of blue, the trees impossibly green. Birds fly, children laugh and smells of the city are wafting by. This is reality. I walk down the road to a corner store and look at the TV in the display. It's an ad for some snack food, and it's the first thing I've seen that wasn't about that damn closed in universe. My eyes gaze past it, glancing up from my current position, and suddenly I see it. A wave of nervous and curious energy crashes over me. There, down the long road I'm on is the hill. It's different now, lined with bushes and with a paved path going up, and the cabin is in better repair. I go up.

In the cabin I find friends from previous dreams. Patrick Stewart is there, getting a tattoo on his body from R2D2, who is programming a set of computer chips in the Patriks shoulder with conductive ink so he may be smarter. The men up here give me lectures on the past, and reality, and tattoos, and then all of a sudden I am gone.

I'm in my bed sleeping, but I'm very tired of this dream. I want it to end, so I think that i'll just go set my alarm off manually and wake up.
My alarm goes off and I wake up. 10:00.


Weird.

I was lying down on a cobblestone bridge. Inside the cracks of the bridge, was a dark shade of purple. I get up and look around. It seems as the world is broken, into different islands floating in space. I was on the biggest one of them all. On my island was a gigantic rainbow castle. In my dreams I feel as that I can do anything, so I pretended I had wings to fly at the the top of the castle. Then all of a sudden, I hear an erie sound. So then I look at the direction of that sound, nothing. I look back at the castle, Its gone! So I look backwards and then look back at the area of the castle then, There it was but wait, It was not a "rainbow" castle anymore, It was a scary and frightening castle. I go up closer to the castle, then I go inside the castle. Woke up. The End.

New Dog
I,my dad and my brothers were at our new house and had just gotten a new dog. The dog was small like a Maltese and was black. I felt like the dog was my old dog Max though. It kept following me around and wanted me to play with it. This annoyed me because I wanted to do something else. My dad told me to just play with it so it can calm down. I gave up and lay on the floor mattress. The dog jumped on the bed and started licking my face. I did not like that the dog did that and felt like washing my face.Something else happened after that but I can't recall what.

End Of The Road

I was in the car with my dad and as he was driving he happened to stop near a large tunnel that looked abandoned."This isn't normal...Is he going to try and get rid of me?" I thought than opened the door telling him I needed to get some fresh air. After that I hoped it was a dream than jumped up to fly out of the place like a super hero.I flew and became lucid glad that the situation wasn't really happening.As I flew up I hit a random monster I saw flying in the air and was ready to do some dream fighting but than somehow I ended up inside my house.I was semi lucid and next to a dream character that represented a demon but he looked human and was kind of chubby,wearing casual yet old clothing.There was a lady in the next house looking at us through the window. I asked him why he was paying attention to her while thinking about how she was a prostitute. He said "Why not?"than I looked at him weird and told him that he just goes up than down a lot. But when I said it I didn't mean it in a negative way. I just meant he goes from looking at things in a heavenly light to a immoral light.

Eye's Ramen

I don't recall the beginning well. It had something to do with me and my family being at the park we use to go to when I was little. I'm going to skip to the lucid part though.

I was in my living room next to a dc looking at the bright sunset that shown outside. As I looked at it I got the urge to go out and explore. I got out through the door and than flew above the street in the sunset.I kept flying until I arrived at a large wooden bridge surrounded by a forest.It wasn't sunset anymore but still was light out. I saw Dawn walking on the bridge and decided to get his attention by singing.But after I did the dream shifted and I was now looking at a huge sketchbook in the dark. It looked like a bigger version of my art class sketchbook in waking life. The pages were covered in black charcoal with some light drawings of city scapes on some pages and a red rectangle with moving objects on other pages. I remember seeing a black hand moving in a hallway on one of the red rectangles. After I looked at them the dream shifted and I ended up on my bed in my room. I sat up and looked out the window wondering if I should fly out. I felt a presence coming and was ready to get out but than Eye came in and told me to get back in bed since he made something for me. I sat on a chair near the bed instead and he put a plate of ramen with two big toasted Italian rolls on the bed.

I looked at the food happily surprised and thanked him. Eating some of the ramen with the fork until the plate began to slip on the bed by mistake. I said "oops" than tried fixing it. Eye helped me than showed me a pile of cooking spoons on a small plate.He laughed nervously than told me he didn't remember which spoon to serve the ramen with after he was done cooking it. I looked at the spoons and told him that it was okay. The spoon wasn't on the plate so I described it to him saying it was supposed to have a big round end so you could swoop up the noodles. There was one that looked like it but than it turned out to be too big and weird looking.He was fine with the description I gave him though so I started eating the bread. He ate his own sitting on the bed next to me. Than someone came into the room but I don't recall who. Woke up after that.


(The pic is from an anime.^^)

While this series of dreams never reached a high level of lucidity, it did feature two odd and intense epiphanies, and much of the time I was aware that I was dreaming.

The first stage of the dream, I was playing with a pet, a small lizard that could sit in the palm of my hand, and liked to race around my forearms and take short, gliding flights from hand to hand or from me to its terrarium. It was familiar to me and I loved it as a pet. Someone, maybe someone at work, mentioned that the lizard wouldn't live that much longer, and the next time I was playing with her (I knew she was a her, probably having just asked myself the question and come up with an answer), I noticed she was slowing down, and there was a scare where she stopped moving, but revived, and I felt strong attachment and fear for her death. The dream progressed so that she had died, and I was feeling strong grief just as if a real pet had died. I remembered seeing and playing with the small creature over months, maybe more than a year, and considered how I would hold myself together at work. Then it struck me, the whole life I remembered for this creature was in dreams. I was able to search my memories and recall that I had no terrarium and no pets. I believed, and still think it may be the case, that the lizard had appeared in my dreams before. A couple times before, I've had the experience of grief in a dream, and then the realization that the events had not taken place, though this time may be the first that I was grieving a creature who only lived in dreams. It can be emotionally powerful, feeling relief but also feeling in a sense robbed of your grief, still feeling the echo of strong emotion while knowing you have no reason to feel it. Also, I suppose it illuminates mortality and impermanence in a strange light. It's not exactly an "Aha!" moment because of the sad, contemplative quality of the realization.

Here ends this dream, more or less. It's memorable in itself, though not singular. However, it probably set the tone for the experience which followed.

The initiating conditions of the next dream are hazy. Perhaps I set out with the intention to go out drinking, and several times throughout the dream I was convinced that I had drunk too much to drive or thought I might have been drugged. I can't say I've had many "drunk" dreams, and I wasn't drinking last night. I found myself in a crowd at some kind of play/concert/pageant - some elaborate group performance with a standing room only audience. It was quite impressive and immersive, but also blatant monotheistic allegory. At some point I found myself speaking to the producer/director (quite possibly a God stand-in, but a pudgy, red-bearded one) in a corner of the balcony. He said something to the effect that he tries to get everyone excited about putting on a good show, but those who refuse to participate certainly won't be invited to the after-party. Afterward, I found myself in the crowd again, and experienced a powerful sensation of epiphany. The content of the epiphany was very much in the "born again" narrative, that there is someone behind the curtain of our existence and he/it was reaching out to me personally to be accepted into my heart. The strength of the sensation was such that not accepting wasn't really an option. Indeed, for a time after the experience I was ready to buy whatever the man upstairs was selling.

I rather expected it was Christianity, but when I exited out the front, I found it was a Minecraft-themed mosque, with big creeper parapets and mineral blocks you could pluck off the front of the building. I had the feeling I had seen this place in dreams before, too, but like the lizard, it may just be dream time and deja vu at work. Out front there was a sermon with some fairly incendiary language, and then we newcomers were handed off, presumably, to recruiters. Mine was a hunched, bulgy old man with a thin beard and lopsided features. He didn't get very far in his spiel before coming right out and saying he was a demon. He said some demons would be more coy about it, but he was more the bind you in fire and pain variety, and the ground under me morphed into a lady demon face like something out of Diablo, with bone spikes growing up around me like a cage. My go-along-to-get-along had already been wearing thin, and I was able to break free of this attack.

The dream kind of wandered on and restarted several times from there, focusing on a "Dude, where's my car?" theme and leaving me with overall decidedly mixed feelings and no inclination to dump too much meaning into the events. Still, the two "revelations" taken on their own terms were unique experiences.

Huge night: solid (but short) DILD, several near WILDs late morning including start of REM atonia, several vivid semi-lucids, one epic in vividness/experience

Late morning doing relaxing SSILD, trying to "relax" into visuals. Dreams/imagery/REM atonia don't come while mind is too alertly focused on visual field, mind must be occupied on something like SSILD cycles or Ah visualization or very light thoughts. Ear rushing and eye twitching happened while on back (like yesterday's WILD-ish experience). Did a RC but awake. Got strong body twitches while lying on side a little later.

+ bubble fly CH with PR and KR flying up from back garden (L tree?) I'm waving bubbles this propels us along we drive back to street by G's driveway and I do a power slide and whip around in a fast circle at the end which drags K lying flat on the ground really quickly across the very rough pavement and scratches her arms very badly and she says s.l. "Augh, I didn't need that" I later apologize to her, go down back steps and both my mother [deceased] and father are happily there working on the garden, the steps are soft dirt shaped like bricks, my feet and other's feet sink deeply into the steps, I notice this but others say they're soon to be lined with (concrete?). I think to myself how wonderful it is with my mother here and how sad it would be (is?) when she is no longer with us.

+ renting a helicopter with son S2, afterwards I say (about flying it) "that was f^&*^%$ AWESOME!" swimming to turn-off, go in, the mechanics are there to immediately check the helicopter upon my return of it, one walks towards me holding a wrench, "Ah, crap," I think, "something is missing from the tool chest and they're going to ding me for it", but instead, this is an extra tool? Then the team of mechanics hold a conversation [in a foreign language] in an Abbott & Costello comedy format:

"Shall we add it?" [to our tool collection]
"Let's add it?"
"Add it?"
"Add it?"
"Let's add it"
etc.

+ mango, homeschoolers prank boy suffering from "short leg" syndrome, I free him from a big meat/freezer locker behind 2 doors where he could have suffocated, then I'm taking bites from a large, cut "street-food" mango, see homeschoolers (skin? fruit?) is mottled with mold, I go back inside to the open fruit market continuing to bite from the mango, wondering if it was cleaned properly. There are other fruit vendors inside: one is advertising long, translucent, juicy strips made from the entirety of some tree.

+ epic: airplane, at gate with attendant, show ID, woman with 2x 45kg of modeling clay paying customs on automated system me:"hope it doesn't dry out", she:"expands like an a$$hole" [at altitude], driving over gently undulating land, I make joke about how [try hard to remember name of airline company associated with England] "British Airways announces new corporate policy limiting modeling clay to 5kg per customer after mid-flight incident", , turn fast sudden corner to right, on very wide driving fast on deep dry dusty dirt roads, I instantly think, "Oh, I'm in Africa! Boy, Africa sure looks different from America/Europe!"
Odd, fantastic cars come the other way. I procede straight on this road which narrows then I'm walking. I notice the houses are covered not in paint or shingle, but flowers. One house is covered in small red and white flowers. The road is now more a wide foot path absolutely bursting with tall bushes of flowers on every side and in front of me. "Wow!" I say, "who know Africa was so colorful and DREAM-LIKE!!!. I'm amazed at everything I see and keep saying this several times. I encounter a flock of about 8 very large (meter tall) purple geese walking up the street the other way. I look into the distance and see a city in the distance and think about getting back to the airport, I think there's plenty of time.

Then I start encountering nude and topless women sunbathing right there on the pathway. The path is now like a narrow footpath leading through gardens and back yards. I come upon two beautiful young women lying on the ground and as I approach they both turn over and I get a quick glimpse of their marvelous breasts. They ignore my presence. I keep walking and encounter more topless women, middle aged and a bit fat, they are all cooling themselves from the heat outside in narrow streams of very cold water. I feel how very cold this water is and think it's colder than it needs to be.

I reach one point and a narrator (?) says this is the end of the "two-people" path and now the "solo/alone" path is beginning, and I get excited about this thinking I can find a beautiful topless/nude woman, think for a second about continuing to the airport, but see a group including some apparently mostly nude women in a pool area up ahead and head towards them.

Spoiler for sexual encounter:

I go to a young woman who seems to be wearing a skimpy bikini but she seems nude at the same time. She has a well-manicured landing strip and I come up to her and talk to her asking about "which sport she is going out for?" while I bring my mouth to her right breast and take it in, and

I wake up.

+ LD#206 LUCIDD 206 bowling alley, standing on left side, ask for lane #2 to be turned on for me, I don't want to be against the left wall lane #1. Sign in on electronic score card, real name, go looking for ball, try 15 lb but fingers too tight, see a "36 pound" blank ball, one with three holes clumped together, then balls vanish, area blocked off by corrugated metal sheets [construction area?], go back through huge sports hall where ping-pong matches are under way. I jump/glide/fly down stairs, not sure if I'm flying because I crash into pile of cushions at bottom of stairs, I jump/leap again towards the exit and think I may be flying again, I hold my self very still and notice that I continue to glide toward the wall in the air and get lucid. I start rubbing my hands and repeating "I'm dreaming! I'm dreaming!" I notice through a square lattice door a series of colorful flowers growing from the ground with foot-long stalks and flat flower petals, 3-4 different flat colors. I turn back into the gym room and think, "OK, TOTM!" But the basic TOTM tasks don't come to me instantly, and the dream fades.

+ I'm in a car (portion of longer dream?) driving on steep hills in neighborhood I have to wait for some passing cars at an intersection. I need to turn around I enter a cul-de-sac and start to pull a U turn fist I head close to a house's driveway and am forced through two signs by their drive way I'm turning to the left and head a bit too close to a wall/fence of theirs in the road and hit it lightly and it shakes. I think "oh crap", but it doesn't appear too damaged, I glance over my shoulder behind me to if anyone is coming out of the house, I back up and drive on

+(f) I'm riding the bus with my kids. We're driving through some suburban downtown business district. I notice it is raining outside. I say "Oh No way I'm going to go running in that rain" (back to the house?)

+(f) coins? Small devices outside with people?

+ molly on the slide, sexual encounter at the top and at the bottom, people come, but I work them into the narrative and they don't bother my activities with Molly. Then a woman sends some kids to another section and tells them to stop what they're doing, something relating to the glare on the monitor, then she is digging into a desk of mine looking for incriminating material, inside are some books, a book laid open to a page with a quote on it and some sand dollars marking the spot, she says something about this. Then things get vague and I get frisky with two very buxom girls, I take their tops off (asking one of them to help me take the other one's top off) but they disappear and I wake up.

Catching up on my DV dream journals, posting one LD for now instead of getting hampered trying to do one huge post compiling everything up to date.

Sat, 30 Jul 2016:

~~!! Late a.m. !! Using GF incubation MILD, what I'd do got my mind thinking dreamy possibilities: Another later morning success around 7am!~~

There is this 2 part flying spaceship-like craft, I realize after first thinking it was two separate ships, one smaller with 2 pilots and a large one with many crew and passengers perhaps. The smaller part is trying to pilot the craft out of danger and I'm down below on a platform in a giant rectangular water reservoir of some kind like an enormous swimming pool. Someone is flooding it with a ton of water all of the sudden and my platform is being swung around wildly in the water. I call up to the people in the ship what is being done and that's when I see it is 2 parts connected and I see lots of crew/people in the larger section below the smaller section. The platform I'm on is pushed against a rocky wall with vines hanging down and I start thinking I should climb out and then get the more dreamy idea that it will be easy, and then heck I can just fly up out of here. I climb with ease and then fly andI am very joyful I have been liberated from a dire situation into a lucid dream!!! I am just away from the edge and don't hesitate to jump out over the turbulent pool and think about how wow I'm really sure I can fly over it and not fall in and then I suppress some emerging doubt (Sivason's lesson: http://www.dreamviews.com/dream-yoga/139475-advanced-skill-1-suppressing-emerging-thoughts.html ) that could drop me down and make me lose lucidity, and I move on with confidence! I fly up to a few smaller buildings and then up to a larger building to see what's going on inside. Nothing interesting to see really. I start to get a few dreamscene fades where the whole scene is dropping out but I use the seeding ideas based on Sivason's but the opposite effect, flowering them instead of suppressing them - there is a time for each... and the ideas from Daniel Love about seeing patterns in things and I stabilized. I am getting very good at bringing back the same building or a building that looks a lot like the building that just faded away. I'm thinking about this while I do it and I am amazed at how well it is working and how clear my thinking is. Perhaps this is one benefit to late morning when you are closer to getting up for the day your head is more clear but the dreams tend to be more wispy so we need to incubate them and to feed them and keep them going with seeds of thoughts like "oh that didn't fade I see a tree emerging I see it for me…here!" and "that pattern over there even if that pattern is not there yet I create it and it grows." Before long my scene is stabilized. I am floating down a residential street with large 2 and 3 story properties and I see an old guy walking and I have a slight thought regarding messing around with him in some way but I decided instead to talk to him and see if he seems like an intelligent DC. I greet him and he says his name something like John Clare. I asked him what he represents and even think as I'm saying it in the dream, I think to myself that the question is not very clear if you're trying to ask something about your subconscious. The answer was he was an astronaut. I think about the astronaut reference recently in waking life and figure that's where this answer must have come from. It was an astronaut speaking on TV. I look up at this large two-story apartment house it seems it has a fairly large flame and smoke coming out the back right corner. I think I can be a hero in my dream and I fly down to see what's going on. The room next to it and the one before it look completely unfazed and I knock on the windows and tell the occupants there's a fire in the next room and I start heading down toward the fire. When I get to the window with the fire I can't see anything so I fly down to the entrance and go in the house and tell the mother of the house that they have a fire up in one of the rooms and I flew up their staircase and up to the room and lead a few other younger folks out from upstairs and down. The mother comes up and I see a tampon pad and say someone must have lit it but it looks like it's under control now. The mother says some of these birds were already here. We all head downstairs and as I'm about to leave I tell her "sure you can show your appreciation

Spoiler for sexual content:

by giving me a nice blow job."

There is another beauty across the way and she gets my attention. The mother, good looking in a "girl next door" kind of way starts

Spoiler for sexual content:

going at my ahem

as if to bring my thoughts back to her. I tell the other one she can jump on, in a moment, but the scene starts fading and I seed the thought that she has walked over to me and hopped on and I can feel it a bit before I fade completely back to bed smiling big!

The day after I noted in my dream journal: "Try heavy visualization and incubation again for late morning chance…"

I went to sleep early last night & got up late. I took my meds only at the beginning of the night at 9pm & fell asleep about 10:15 so it may be why my mind was opened up more. I also cut way back on my smoking a week ago because Mike & I are working towards quitting. I'm actually really grateful for not being foggy, regardless of the fear I experienced at times during the following entries.

My first experience of the night. I was sleeping & Mike had left earlier for work so this was probably around 6am. I started sleeping on my back in February or March but somehow I ended up on my stomach. I felt the all to familiar feelings of terror as I felt my body being forcefully pushed down into my bed & I couldn't move at all. Sleep paralysis is something I am all too familiar with. It seemed to go on forever. Eventually I was able to move & woke up to go smoke half a cig. I then went back to my bed to try to have an OOB/AP experience. I laid back down & tried to raise my vibrations but I've been sick & what is usually an easy thing for me to do was not happening at all. This is where I interject that ethereal entities are drawn to ppl when they are sick or deeply depressed. I am not depressed my any means but we all know I have been sick.... I then fell back to sleep.

I awoke again to being held down again but this time it felt like a prepubescent male about 12 which disturbed me on a whole other level. I can't explain how I felt this but maybe it will make some sense later on as you read... I felt scared at first but also confused. I've never encountered some entity that I would consider to be some kind of lost confused soul of some sort. I didn't feel like he meant anything bad but I still had some real fear present because entities can do things like impersonate a being that you wouldn't fear. Anyway, I finally came out of the sleep paralysis & got up to pee & went back to sleep again. (Side note: I was on my side when this all occurred which is also not very common for me. And also the phrase, "prepubescent male" is not a phrase I use yet I felt strongly about saying it this way.)

I awoke again on my side w/ the same feeling of this boy on me. It was like he was trying to scare me for some reason but now I'm not scared at all. Instead I feel bad for him. I can tell this time I can attempt to move like before when I had an OOB/AP but I tried to roll in the opposite direction than I normally do towards Mike's side of the bed in hopes of seeing him. But I just roll over & sit up. Nothing occurs. I then go to pee again & go back to sleep.

This time I have no sleep paralysis at all but enter a dream state. I feel the weight of this boy yet again in my dream state. He's looking at me & just trying to scare me. I became full blown lucid at this point. He is freaking out because I can see him. He is confused. He told me that no-one ever sees him. I said, "well I sure see you, why were you holding me down" he said he was trying to scare me but doesn't know why. He just sounds like a kid doing something kid like. Like he was getting a kick out of it as a sort of game. I'm in his house I think but I'm not sure. I'm in a bed there & the house looks old. I start walking around & the fixtures & everything is old not like a modern house might be. He's walking w/ me but he seems not fully solid to me but close, really close. Other people are there like a family. Eventually one by one the others start to see him too & he's excited & scared all at once. I feel like his guide or something. Like I'm supposed to help him or I'm here for a purpose that is his, not mine. Of course I think as a bi-product it has helped me in some way. The people seemed confused too & not much is really said. I then woke up.

I'm not sure why these kinds of things happen to me but I think maybe the boy in particular was there for a reason. I have been studying medium-ship for a while now & reading stories by mediums of real life sessions w/ ppl & the afterlife. I'm highly sensitive to ppl & feel energies. I've had OOB's/AP's. I've had encounters w/ 2 family members that have passed & I see my dead dog in my home. I'm always having strange urges to tell someone about something that will help them & I pass it on to them. I know when ppl are coming to my house a lot via dreams or feelings. Hence, I'm quite intuitive. I also am very in-tune to vibrations. I've been studying Spiritualism, which is not Religion so please don't confuse them. I'm very interested in Energy Healing & Spiritual Healing. I'd like to learn one or both. As of a week ago I have cut back on my smoking because of a strong feeling I have that this is blocking me. But in the end this is my weird life. I think I've been led down this path after so much strange & unusual turmoil in my life. Like I had to go through all of that to get to here. This is a great advantage to not being a young person anymore. With age comes wisdom & insight.

Yesterday: Non-Lucid- This dream was so vivid w/ color & hard to explain. My explanation of details will never do this dream justice. I was in some bazaar man made looking cave w/ tunnels. Some sort of cave system of sorts. The walls, floor & ceiling were *Luminescent (i had to look this up because I new it wasn't fluorescent & I wanted to be accurate) in color. There were lots of people but it wasn't crowded, I kept coming upon groups, couples & single people as I explored this place. We were all having some super natural experience. Someone would throw this strange looking sphere & it would move in all kinds of directions on it's own. Sometimes it would just move real slow, fast or zip around just to mention a few. At intervals there were other ppl throwing one of these balls & it would always do something different. Something went wrong w/ and the person near me said I would have to throw the ball because they were needed elsewhere. Then a guy asked me if I knew where to log in & I said no & that I didn't work there. I was trying to tell him I had never done this before. Then he told me to change to the Fire Safety Code so, I punched in a 3 digit code. The guy I was subbing for came back & was flipping out acting all strange. He looked like Paulie from this season's Big Brother & was an asshole. But he was gay unlike Paulie & was professing his love for another man there & exposing some secret affair. The other guy had a wife, lol. The married couple were both freaked out. The guy professing his love made these digital hearts & arrows in the air. It was actually pretty cool. There were a lot of them.... Now enters some military ppl. Some in an official & unofficial capacity. If I had to explain what this cave looked like I would liken it to Blue Ice but was alive & had some other colors in it.

*Luminescence is emission of light by a substance not resulting from heat; it is thus a form of cold-body radiation. It can be caused by chemical reactions, electrical energy, subatomic motions, or stress on a crystal.

Because of today's entry I want to keep it separate so I will be following this with a separate journal entry.

It’s daytime and I’m driving a white motorcycle in what appears to be an Indonesian city. I’m driving on the left side of the road. I decide to stop my bike on the side of the road. I think I may be dreaming, but I’m not sure yet and I don’t want to take any chances, considering that I’m driving a motorcycle. I try to push my fingers through my palm and it works. I instantly realise that I am indeed dreaming. I decide to get up from the bike. The whole steering section has just vanished, allowing me to dismount very easily. I continuously re-push my finger through my palm and keep telling myself that I’m dreaming. I think of other things that I can do to stabilise the dream. I’m doing good so far. I might even win the challenge with werty52 to have a 5 minute long lucid. I decide to strengthen the dream by focusing on my senses. I drop to the ground and run my hands over the sand that’s on the ground. The sense of touch is very realistic. It feels awesome. Throughout the dream I feel some excitement, but I contain it.

I am in a room somewhere inside. I have the feeling it’s an Indonesian room somehow. I feel the need to RC (perhaps because I feel like I’ve had a FA, though I’m not sure anymore) so I try to push my finger through my palm and it works. I realise I’m dreaming again. I consider what to do for a moment. I don’t have any real goals, any actions to undertake. I walk over close to a wall. Then I crouch down on the ground, placing my hands on the ground as well. I decide to let myself phase through the ground. I know that normally this is done with the wall, but ah, whatever. Without putting any conscious effort into it, I slowly start sinking into the ground. I wonder what will await me on the other side. I get about halfway through when I hear a sound that throws me off guard. I assume it to be from the waking world, though I’m not certain. It’s the sound of a mobile food vendor coming by.

I’m in a similar, or perhaps the same room again. I’m seated in a comfy chair. I’m already considering that I might be dreaming again and perform the finger through palm technique. I’m not fully convinced by the results, because my finger goes through at the edge of my palm, making me doubt whether it really went through or just along the side. For some reason I can’t make it out very clearly. A bit in the distance are two white people, a guy and a girl my age. They come over to talk. I’ve never met before. Now I’m performing the same RC over and over, while trying to have a conversation with 2 strangers and trying to make a good first impression. The guy is German and has me using my very limited vocabulary. The girl is from Australia. We talk for a bit more. Eventually I want to get this RC right so I ask the guy to touch index finger tips with me. I figure that this way I won’t be attempting to smash my finger through my hand like an idiot and if my finger passes through his, I’m dreaming. Yeah.. totally normal request to make. So much for a good first impression.

I was in Korea, Korea town maybe. There was a Korean woman who had a child & was being threatened by authorities saying they were going to take her child away. I didn't think she was a very good person but in the end I took them & jumped them both out of there like in the movie jumper. I wasn't sure where we went. Then my phone rang real early & woke me up.

I was so shocked by this dream I am 100% sure I would have been lucid if my damn phone hadn't rang. I have no idea where the Korea or Korean woman came from. And I haven't seen the movie Jumper lately. I'm floored. The damn plumber showed up early to fix a broken pipe in my kitchen so I missed my second wbtb alarm. I have a fever & have been fighting not to throw up so I guess my allergies have turned into the flu. Bummer.

Non-lucid, yet extremely vivid in detail as if it was actually happening. Another dream about being on vacation w/ my parents. My dad paid for it & we were staying a hotel. We had left one place & were almost to another but I had forgotten my ID all the way back at home. They were talking about getting on a plane or boat & my parents were pissed off at me & we were arguing about whether it was possible for us to go back & get it or if we just were out of time. It reminded me of this futuristic airport dream I had one time. I woke up after what seemed like a really long ass dream.

I guess I'm having them because they are traveling around in there RV & I thought they might stop by & see me but I was in sick w/ a fever this week. I've also been thinking about how they would talk about me if they knew I was meditating & become more spiritual. I can see it now. "OMG, my daughter still believes there is an invisible man in the sky! It's so embarrassing. She's never been quite right." (I can see my mom cringing as she would say this) And my belief in God is not like that at all but they are atheists & would most definitely say this. My belief has to do w/ God being in everything because it is energy. Energy is what we are & what our soul is when it leaves our human body to continue on it's personal journey. It's actually a very logical process if they were to think about it. And even scientist's can't figure out all of what the human mind is capable of. We only use a small portion of our brain's functions. At least that they can detect as of now. But in the end the one certainty is energy. Energy never truly dies. It just gets transferred. Which I personally think, is rather remarkable.

I woke up & was greeted w/ that personal good morning from my husband. Yeah me! On another side note I had a remarkably good day of listening to music while doing a puzzle for many hours. It was a form of meditation w/ candles (for the scent). Very calming.

Dream One- I am in a large city standing on some sort of bridge walkway over a large and busy street surrounded by very tall sky scrapers. There is a man and a woman, dressed in very nice clothes standing in front of me talking excitedly to each other. What I can remember of the conversation they were making plans and preparing for something. I think they were my parents in the dream? I was really too busy just looking around at how huge and busy this place was to listen to the conversation. I remember everything in the city having kind of a bronze and gold tone to it with rounded edges everywhere, kind of futuristic I suppose. A guy stands behind me slightly to my right. I couldn't remember when I woke up if he was my boyfriend or Kurasawa, but I remember that he made me feel super comfortable and happy as if we'd been together forever. He steps forwards and reaches out for my hand and asks me if I would "Like to leave these two here to make there plans and go see what our rooms here are going to look like?" I take his hand and we walk into the big building to the right. The entrance to the building is absolutely stunning. There's a HUGE golden arch over the door with bronze accent lines above and below it. Inside the line that makes the top of the arch are many decorative white and grey moons that start as new in the beginning of the arch, full in the middle, and new again at the end of the arch. Inside the building are many double doors. We walk up to a set and he presses a button. The doors open to a HUGE elevator. We each walk into separate doors, but both doors are connected to the same double sized elevator. Along the back of the elevator is glass so I can watch the buildings around this one as we go up. I find myself freaking out a bit internally about the height, so I decide to stop looking out the window and distract myself. I turn to face the guy still with me, and walk in his direction. I am aware at this point that walking feels like I am wearing high heels. When I reach him, I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close. He returns the hug and absentmindedly pets my hair while telling me it will be alright, I will get used to the heights when I ride the elevator every day. When the elevator stops, it opens up right to a room. It looks like a hotel room, with two beds, two desks, and a door that leads to what I assume is a bathroom. There really isn't much to look at in the main room, so I walk on through to the bathroom. What I find instead is a closet with three toilets inside of it, and another door. I mention out loud how incredibly awkward it is to have three toilets in one room because who's going to want to use the bathroom in front of and with three other people?! The guy laughs and shrugs and says something about how he could see it being useful in a party scenario where everyone was too trashed to care. I walk through the door on the other side of the closet to find a bathroom, this one also has three toilets, but a sink and what looks to be a HUGE tub on the other end. While I stop and stand at the toilets trying to figure out why on earth a room with two beds would ever need six toilets, the guy goes straight towards the tub to check it out. I hear a lady scream, and the guy start apologizing profusely and backing away with his arm over his eyes so he can't see. Turns out there was some chick naked and soaking in the tub that we couldn't see over the rim because the tub was sooooo big and she was laying back in the water. I step in to apologize for him and ask why she's there. Turns out that the room next to the one we were in shares this bathroom, and she lives in the other room.

Dream Two- My mom calls me and wakes me up. She claims that my work was canceled because of the are's gas shortage. I think this must be total BS because my work doesn't close for much, and they'd probably expect us to walk or borrow our kids bikes My boyfriend wants to know why she's calling and I tell him, he suggests calling the employee hotline to make sure. I dial up the number and as it's going through it's typical thank you for calling spiel, I wake up.

Dream Three- It's raining and windy outside. We are living in the house I grew up in, but it's my boyfriend, my kids, and I. My mom's there too for whatever reason. Mom and I step outside to see what's going on b/c the weather seems super crazy. a HUGE gust of wind comes, literally blowing us sideways like in a cartoon. The rain gets so heavy as well that the ground is flooding enough for the wind to make waves that wash over us. some trees start falling at the neighbor's house and I am relieved that our house isn't close enough to any trees to get hit. My mom falls over in the water and the wind. I help her prop herself up against one of our cars, and then rush to the garage to find a rope to help her into the house with. I tie the rope to the garage door, and carry the other end out to mom. I tie that end around her waist, and then go back to the garage and pull her in as she tries to walk and swim back to the garage. As soon as she is inside I close the doors and think everything is ok, but then we hear some loud crashing sounds. We look outside and the power lines are being blown over. We watch as they start falling and realize that the power poles are close enough to hit the house. I start running through the house trying to tell everyone to get on the other side of the house. I can see the poles hit the house, but they don't immediately crush the places they land, instead the ceiling starts dipping and bowing. My son is arguing because he doesn't want to leave the room he is in and the game he is playing, but I manage to sound urgent enough for him to leave the room JUST as a power line presses it's way through the ceiling and opens a big hole in the house. I am so relieved that everyone survived that, that I wake up.

Its very wierd how i dont know if im dreaming or not because i really dont remember them

I just had this really intense dream about my girl friend

I'm in Boston at a train station of some sort. Its similar to the Commuter Rail platform at Back Bay Station. I'm witnessing this scene from a different perspective, I'm looking at myself having a conversation with my old colleague Mont. There appears to be some sort of conflict. I missed my stop on the subway so I got off here. Its still light out, and the rays of sun are shinning into the station, its not quite as dark as Back Bay station usually it. I ask Mont how to get home from here. I realized I have to go back one stop to get to my car.

Instead of returning to my car I go with Mont to his house. At this point the dream is from my perspective and I'm planning on spending the night at Mont house with a few friends. We get on a plane to head over to his house. The plane is filled with people, one of them was my college roommate from freshman year. The seats are blue, and most people have their tray tables down.

The plane lands and we arrive at Mont's house with some of his friends and his girl friend.

We're in his living room, at this point its night time and there is no natural light shining through the windows. His house was a split level house. The upstairs had dark red carpeting. The living room had a brown couch and a glass coffee table. Mont and his girl friend are sitting on the couch drinking a couple of beers.

My girlfriend shows up, I greet her at the front door. (from door was glass with storm windows, the stoop was made of big blue stone bricks) She's being so mean to me, its very uncharacteristic of her to be rude. She brings me around to the back patio and breaks up with me. I start crying like crazy. I feel completely helpless, I'm absolutely devastated and she won't tell me why. She won't do anything but be really mean and seemed completely unfazed by any of this.

I am overwhelmed with thoughts. I think of her family and how maybe they could talk some sense into her. Right when I though that, she called her mom and told her we were done and not to talk to me anymore. I could hear her moms voice on the other line, every bit as confused as me. She quickly hangs up the phone and walks further into the backyard down a little path. One of Mont's friends is sitting on a set of patio stairs, they engage in conversation.

At this point I feel that we haven't finish our dialogue so I intrude. Mont's friend gets up and leaves. I tell her that losing her would be like losing my mother or my brother. It would be like receiving a phone call from your dad to inform you that he is no longer your dad. She looks at me blankly.

After what felt like an eternity of talking with her and following her around Mont's backyard I went back inside. Completely devastated.

When I get inside I have a flashback of this time I was hanging with my best friend Nick. We were driving around with his gf and my gf. We were driving on the highway. Nick is driving and I'm sitting up front in the passenger seat, and the girls are sitting in the back. We're about to stop for some food. The girls couldn't eat what we were stopping for because it wasn't healthy.

I feel so comforted my girl friend at this moment. I remember that Nick and I partied at Mont's house with his girlfriend once, we had to drag a bunch of mattresses into the basement because there weren't enough spots to sleep down there.

Thats when it hit me!!!
Of course!
That's why she was mad!
She was mad because we moved out mattress into the basement at Mont's house!

I'm back at Mont's house and I explain to everyone that the extra mattress downstairs was for Nick and his girl friend. I have to leave Mont's house and tell Jen immediately.

I leave Mont's house and his front steps are weird. They are made of road boxes stacked on top of each other. Each step is a different height, some steps are so big I feel like I have to jump. I'm afraid of falling that these huge steps, it's a long drop! The steps Lead down into a vacant mall store.
It's very dimly lit. The light shining in is from the main shopping area outside this store. The garage door looking thing is pulled down and locked.

My girl friend comes to pick me up. The car pulls up right next to the massive stairs. I get in the car.

She's so much different than before. She looks me in the eyes, her sitting in the driver side seat, and me looking over from the passenger seat. She tells me it was just a bad dream, that she never broke up with me. She loves me so much. I feel so much better!!!

We start off driving and her friend is in the back seat now. I don't know this person, she's little on the heavier side and looks nothing like any of her friends. The roads are terribly snowing, we're driving through an awful blizzard. We come up to this crazy water slide. It's out of season, and covered in snow. We proceed to drive up it. Her friend in the back seat is having the time of her life, completely unfazed by this dangerously steep, windy, slippery slide. The car starts to struggle so we use our arms to climb up the slide. We have our hands and feet out the windows to pull the car up and it's very strange.

I wake up to the sound of a text message. My girl friend is on a retreat for the week so we have been communicating via phone for the last couple days. it says “I can't wait to see you tomorrow! I love you so much!!!”

What a crazy dream!!!