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Saturday 6/22/13
Last night bed 9:45 pm - 4:53am WBTB 4:53 - 5:51 I had to get off the sofa a few times, had my view brighten 3 times and felt the LD coming on in just a few soconds, but was disturbed each time, so I just got up and gave up.

DR 12:20am
Military conflict, going on a mission. Someone causing trouble at DV. - These, I must have woken up just a few min too late, because all I remember is feelings that I can't put into words.

DR 2:50am
I'm in an upscale department store buying purple sweater. For buying it I get a discount for buying some very soft pyjamas. Normally they are $500, but now only $400. I decide to buy them for my mom. I'm also trying to figure out, why am I buying expensive things, when I don't have much money. I look at the PJs at home. They have some print like for kids and they do look small. Big colored peacock on the shoulder.

- There is a chase at train depot or lumber yard. It's 19th century and I'm asking a guy with a colt behing his belt to borrow his gun.

DR 4:53am
I'm outdoors with bunch of people. Some kinda camp. We play basketball in the rain.

I'm standing on a grassy area with a small hill. Suddenly a fire starts burning on the ground. I yell at someone to stomp it out. We get closer to investigate. I see guys foot print there and I assume fire was targeted on his footprint. I sense foul play. I dig a little and find 3 small, redish plastic button type of things. And a small jar from same material, that's filled with flamable liquid.

Fragments

first dream , the night before last
A young man looking for me. Needed to speak with me for some reason


second dream last night
I saw the young man in his mid 20s for a minute in a coffee shop with my friends we where all at a table he got up and said find me . OK my friend turns to me and says it is valnetines day . i said no its june not febuary that cant be right besides my husband was sitting right next to me and we kissed before he smiled and said now go help that poor kid out . I spent the rest of the dream looking for him

My family and I were staying in a big, old house for some reason. There were other people there that I didn't know, strange kids. One girl walked around holding a big brightly coloured blanket behind her, dragging it on the ground.

That night, I was in the bedroom asleep, face down. I was awoken the sound of something being dropped onto the table next to the bed. I then heard a curious sounding male voice that was very clear, and sounded like it was in my head. He said "you have a delivery from a mysterious dark figure... a familiar old man". Then I turned and saw three tightly wrapped objects in a pile on my side table. They were shaped like dinner rolls. I watched as a tiny white orb like thing left the room out the door way.

I didn't open the wrapped objects in the dream, but there were three of them.

Dream 1

I'm just walking down the sidewalk, minding my own business, when three or four older guys come up to me and a friend, carrying these thin red sticks that I instinctively know are for butt-whupping. I begin to walk faster, but it's no use because they are really going after us. I think that they were going after my friend. I wait until one guy comes close and I think that I used a red stick. I whipped it right into his stomach and he falls backwards. I stand completely still, a nonchalant expression on my face. The other two come at me, but I easily disarm them use a flurry of moves to beat them back. I feel like a badass. One man advances towards me with a strange, twisted, ruby knife that looks cruel.

Health bars appear in the bottom left corner. I deftly hit one man aside until he stumbles in a heap, his health level shrunk to a tiny slice of red. I turned to a man who came at me from behind. I slap him back with the pole, and his health shrinks to a thin line. I'm satisfied now, but he comes at me and I unthinkingly lightly swat at him with the pole. He staggers backwards, his health line completely disappearing. I reach a hand out to him, "No." I say in disbelief. He falls backwards and lands like a sack of sand, dead.

I start to scream, "Noooooo!" I turn around and can see my friends staring at me, in confusion and perhaps a little fear. See, in the dream I had a rule with myself that I'd never kill another human, and now I'd just killed a man by accident. You could describe me as feeling sorrowful, and agonized because I knew that the man was bad but also refusing to admit that he needed to die. I fall to my knees in the middle of the street, still howling.

I decide to 'redo' the entire situation to see if I can make things end better. Everything happens very similar to last time, as far as I can remember. But the fights moves into the backyard of a house near the street that we fought in. I remember looking at one house and repeatedly thinking that "we were in the neighbor's yard". I took out all the other guys, until just one was left. He was gross, chubby, and reminded me of that guy on X-Men Evolution because I think he was wearing overalls.

I discovered that I had the power to control water, but it didn't really come as a surprise. I was throwing water at him, he was about 20 yards away. I glance at the ground and see a hole carved into the ground, filled with water. I think that I won't be able to mentally lift it all, but I reach out a hand and make a scooping motion. The water flies up and hovers in a big moving droplet, and I realize that it's frozen. It turns a silvery, cold color. I throw it at the advancing man, and he flies backwards. I have a bad feeling, and I think that he was dead. When I look at him he is encased in a block of ice. I feel discouraged. Things didn't end as well as I'd hope, maybe worse than last time.

I sigh. I know that eventually, maybe years from now, the ice will melt and the bad guy will be released again. Then I'll have to deal with him again, since I know he will go after me and attempt murder.

Dream 2

I remember running from my dad's house. I'm on the sidewalk in front of my neighbor's house, I feel very creepy and spooked. I continue onward.

Now I'm in a room which I believe is an apartment. The room is white, and I sit at a table. A guy that I know is to my left, and Girlfriend 1 sits on my right. Girlfriend 2 and/or Girlfriend 3 sits on Girlfriend 3's other side. The guy is talking to me, and showing me pictures that he's posted on Instagram, except the pictures are printed on little flashcards that he has in a huge stack. The pictures are all the quote-y girly kind that teenage girls like to post, except they're about baseball. I feign interest.

He casually leans toward me and wraps an arm around my shoulder/waist. I feel very warm, and I haven't felt like that before. My heart was hot and I felt very at ease, peaceful. I kept telling myself that I needed to shake him off, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I tell myself that I have to, and that Girlfriend 1 is sitting right next to me, although suddenly it feels as if she is one person away from me, as if she'd have to lean around someone to see me. I distractedly flip through the cards and realize that I can't imagine ever reaching the bottom of the stack. The cards seem to multiply, like one replaces the one that I take away.

I think to myself that he must like me, I mean he's got his arm around me! Girlfriend 1 leans forward and becomes very still. Oh no, she's seen us. I feel almost defiant, because I want him.

Bedtime: 1:00 a.m.
WBTB: 7:30
Aids: none
Recall: Medium
Vividness: Medium
Awesome Factor: Low
Feeling upon waking: groggy

Dream 1: NS took me to a party at some strangers' house. The owners were a middle-aged couple. There were lots of people there, but I didn't know anyone. The house was pretty big, as I recall, and it had a large deck. We spent most of the time outside.

The owners had a black cat, which I found out was dying from a disease. (Something that sounded a bit like "cinnamon.") I asked N, who had had a fair deal of contact with the cat, if it was contagious (I meant to humans, but I didn't say it -- it seemed to be clear in the context), and she said yes. I couldn't believe that I would have been brought here, and that all these people would be sitting around/invited to sit around with a contagious animal. So I asked again. And again she said yes.

I became very angry with her for bringing me to this party and exposing me to the cat. Eventually everyone began to move inside the house. We were supposed to spend the night -- everyone seemed to be -- but I wanted to find a way to sneak out. I didn't find the owners to be very hospitable, anyway.

Dream 2 (fragment , post WBTB): I was at some place with long aisles of tables/counters and (I think) computers? It might have been some kind of office or workspace. Almost everything (the tables, ceiling, floor) was a golden colored wood. There were many bouquets of flowers (hanging or in vases) all along the aisles.

An unfriendly woman with pretty short, dark hair was/worked there. I think my dad was with me. I don't know our reason for being there or talking to this woman.

Pre bed: Gingko, l-arginine

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

Dream quality and recall: Very vivid, unstable, hard to recall all details and honestly didn’t notice them as much

WBTB: >1/2 latte, insomnia mostly caused by heat, dehydration and discomfort due to heavy junk food consumed at dinner

Technique: In the approx. 2 hours of insomnia, I faithfully did all possible techs I could think of, including mantras, SSILD, WILD, noticing dreamlets, initially to induce an ld, but mostly just trying to get back to sleep. As I was dehydrated had to drink some water then go to restroom several times, which made insomnia worse.

Dreamlet: some kind of palm tree as it is being painted

Pre WBTB dream impressions: high vividness, flying, friendly dogs in hometown (can't remember anything, just there was some strangeness involved)

Post WBTB LD Pack 1 (DILD+ 2xDEILD): I finally fall asleep, and find myself in a bus in a familiar city. My bf is to my right and there is a woman in front of me with a baby that she is about to feed. To her left is man, just another passenger that reacts to her moving around. I want to remark that there is not enough space for any action but then notice the hand of the man, he is now a woman and on his palm, slightly below the little finger is what looks like an eye.

An eye on his hand? Alarm! This can only be a dream! I am more excited than usual, possibly because I spotted this eye. I keep looking at it with interest. The eye on the hand is following the movement of the woman with the baby. Soon enough there is a whole face on the palm of that DC. It looks really crazy and cool! I am overjoyed and for some reason decide to shout out loud exactly "Dreamviews", this stabilizes the dream somewhat. Then I begin to ponder about undressing when the dream fades, I quickly pass through the void, and then feel my physical body.

I wait a bit and the dream picks up again. It is as if I am following a dream scenario so my dream self is on the way somewhere. This is very close to where I was previously in the bus. There is a small garden next to the bus station, so I am there, trying to hold on to the dream. I concentrate on the ground and look at the ultra detailed and vivid grass. Reminding me of the movie Gladiator, I have a moment of enjoyment touching and playing with lots of beautifully looking grass ears. They have a slight pinkish hue and are not like any grass type I have seen. As I move my hand from one grass ear to another, the dream slowly fades, I go through the void, and am back in bed.

I wait some more and the dream is back, but this time it is super unstable. If I remember correctly at this point I also get some of my dream paralysis, being unable to move my hand/shoulder (right one this time), but I try to ignore it, adjust my posture and it somehow disappears. I am more or less on the same place, I am trying to make my dream body behave according to a fake dream scenario and pretend that I am going somewhere again. On the street, facing a traffic lights pole, the dream is slipping away. I hug/grasp the pole and try to hold on to it, feel it, etc, then remember all that discussion about making out with the dream. I stretch out my tongue and start licking the pole with all might, but initially don't feel anything. I keep on licking until finally there is a distinct sensation of my tongue and the pole is more solid. The dream fades and I am back in bed - I have been moving my real tongue as well!

I decide to visit the restroom and continue with my efforts to fall asleep.

Random lucid fragment: I remember looking at the sky and seeing some strange white transparent ghost-like bird. I follow its flight and remember the other lucid where birds were transparent. My thinking is that maybe this is an OBE and real creatures look like that. I try to interact with the bird by calling it, exerting some kind of dream control on it.

Non-ld: Some kind of a FA, in our bedroom, with bf and Angela Merkel comes in. I am very happy that I will finally have the chance to ask her a few questions about her meetings and the state of the world economy. My memory is vague, but we talk about something, the dream fades and I wake up.

Struggling to fall asleep again.

LD Pack 2 (WILD + 2xDEILD): Because of the going in and out of the void, my memory is really elusive with this one, although it was very vivid and each part lasted a while.

I find myself in what vaguely reminds me of my ex-room. My boyfriend is sleeping in the bed. I notice that it is kind of dark (but not totally dark), so more out of habit than rational thinking, I head to where the light switch is, find a different looking light switch, give it a bit of a thought "What am I doing, expecting the room to become better lit after using a dream switch?", find this absurd, but turn on the light nevertheless. There is a slight change and some more light. It's ok. I am in mischievous mood, so decide to wake up my bf's DC. No way this DC puppet is my bf, it looks like him but I know it's not him. On with my task "assign a lucidity DC", I engage in a long talk with fake bf DC, explaining to him that he should keep on reminding me that this is a dream. He looks kind of dumb and doesn't respond anything and there is something creepy about him as well. I am starting to have regrets about waking this DC up. There is also some aggressive buzzing, some object is pushing me just next my right foot, I can feel it there, and really don't want to have anything to do with it or the fake bf DC. I look down trying to brush the small aggressor away, but there is nothing there, just my clothes and body....the dream destabilizes, passing throughout the void....I remain still.

Back to the same room, but of course it has changed a bit. It is on the ground floor and leads to an inside yard. One other thing that is worth noting is that I also heard some music playing in the background while in the room, it stopped while in the void, and then resumed with the dream. It is bright and sunny outside, autumn hues lit by the sun. My mood reflects the scene and the scene my mood. I am holding a bottle of coke, wonder whether I should leave it, but notice how much better I feel with my hands around an object. I continue walking, there are residential buildings surrounding the yard and it is raining and sunny at the same time. I want to have some fun with the rain, enjoy the scene. I lift up in the air in exhilaration, this lasts a while and as I am midair the dream fades and I am in my bed.

I know what to do, I wait and then wait some more. This time it is harder, but the dream comes back (same place). I feel my head touching the branch of a tree. It is as if I landed on the tree with my forehead. I shortly wonder whether this sensation may come from my physical body, but dismiss the thought. On the ground now, and happy to be back in this nice place. I notice a puddle and sure enough there is my reflection staring back at me. My dream reflection looks great, smiling, and my hair is just perfect. (It rarely looks that well styled irl) Naturally, I am impressed by this and especially by the flawless hairstyle.

Then it dawns on me that this was TOTM and I remember CL's comment that it seems like I always try to do all TOTM in one dream. At that moment, I am super confident that I will be able to do all the tasks even if the dream interrupts. The problem is I never memorized all 5 because of my task flexibility goal this month, so I try very hard to remember what they all were. I remember that with the dinosaur egg and look around. The yard is merging into an open room with all kinds of junk objects on the floor. I am looking for an egg. There are two balls, and one changes to have the hard surface of an egg and elongates slightly and there we have it - a perfect red egg the size of an ostrich's egg. (Finally some positive side effect of dream instability). I put the egg under my butt and start hatching it, holding it with one hand. It cracks and I expect something to come out and then of course the dream destabilizes and I am in the void in a strange position and feeling my body as well. I wait and wait but nothing happens this time, so I wake up and try to remember as much as possible before it fades.

Counted as 2 Lds (official) and 1 micro ld (info only).

PS: Writing this whole thing took much longer than dreaming it.

I have recently started to lucid dream,and to say not that good at it yet. Often i am fully aware that I'm dreaming, but don't always have the ability to control major things outside of myself, sometimes I do others I don't.
Well i was having a dream where I was on a country road that being a dessert terrain and mountains in the background. There were two ongoing telephone poles going down the road anyway there was a raven in the middle of the road just walking around so I chose to run up and scare it away. It worked but then 10 flew down a little ways away so I ran up to them and scared them away as well. Then hundreds and hundreds came flying around my body pecking and hitting me with there wings at first, but then they were slashing at my flesh ripping pieces off,I fell to the ground trying to push them away. I was able to control a bit by forming a ton of pressure around me to push them away but they soon overwhelmed me tearing off whole limbs I could see the blood gushing. The pain was aggonising I could feel it all but wouldn't wake up i felt the blood pour from my head.Out of the corner of my eye I could see were the ravens were coming from. It was a man in a black cloak from head to toe the ravens appeared to be flowing from the cloak,he didn't move but I could fell the power coning from him it was threatening me like it was trying to say leave or else,I felt the helplessness of being alone and powerless while he contenued there assault. When they finally killed me I sat up in my bed flaying my arms around trying to block the ravens, when I realized there were no ravens I clutched my chest and couldn't breath. I had cold sweat couldn't breath and felt like my chest was going to explode, This has made me weary of going lucid anymore. Why had the pain followed me into reality,Why had I lost control of my dream and why did it feel like all the power I had left me,and should I keep lucid dreaming.If you can answer my question that would mean alot

06-22-2013 -- [OK, talk about involved dreams in a short bit of time ... was drifting off into a nap at about 3:30 today, but was kept from it by a friend texting me at 3:33. I glanced at the text, but ignored making a reply because I didn't want to distract myself from drifting off to sleep. Something (possibly a knock on the door, but I'm not sure) woke me up at about 3:55, and I had this whole dream in my head. So it was all dreamed in under 20 minutes, possibly significantly under.]

I'm walking through a sort of cross between some sort of mental hospital and a live version of Runescape with my friend Dale, and I think we're on some sort of a quest that I can remember dreaming about before, probably two or three years ago. People are running around and yelling and screaming, making noise and being odd [as little kids keep doing outside my motel room in real life as I am trying to nap] as we're making our way through the maze-like corridors, grumbling about having no guidance and no maps.

Eventually I find myself in a wooded area out behind the building, where I can see the entrance to a familiar-looking graveyard with five graves in it. I know I have to go inside and help the grave digger get the right bodies in the right graves, but I find I can't walk normally. Somehow, even though this is live and not a computer game, I have to push the right keys to walk shorter or longer distances and in different directions. But with no keyboard and no memory of what keys, I'm completely lost. In addition, the graves are only 2 or 3 spaces apart, but the distances I can move are 5 or 8 spaces or something like that, so it is a big puzzle to figure out how to make the right spaces in the right directions to get in front of each individual grave so I can figure out who is supposed to be in each one. [The controls are kind of like for a game a skull ball.]

To make things worse, there are also little bits of sparkles around, and bits of glowing, circling dust, and I come to realize that we not only have to solve this puzzle in the 'real' Runescape world, but we also have to find a portal where we can switch into the spirit world, where the puzzle will be even more difficult, and solve it there, too. [A throwback to the Spirit of Summer/Corporeal Beast quests.] All with no maps, no guides, and just the vaguest of memories of trying to do this before and failing.

I finally give up, and just try to sit down on the short stone fence surrounding the graveyard and rest for a few minutes, but as I am, a cheerleader comes running past, screaming her head off, and as I start to recognize her as Claire Bennet, Sylar comes running behind her, still trying to cut her head open to gain her powers, and I have to try and help her to get away safely. Soon I find myself running through what halfway seems to be the kitchen at the Hickory house, except that there is a sort of a group therapy session going on here. As we rush in, Sylar is halfway behaving himself, pretending to be an ok person, and some crazy old lady is asking me if I am going to tell her any more stories about the psychotic watch-maker, and I am shushing her, trying to keep her from cluing Sylar in on the fact that we know who he is.

I'm trying to get him trapped in here with the oddly powerful and helpful patient who I suspect isn't really a patient, but about that time, somebody makes an announcement that 'Monica' was thrown out a few hours ago for 'telling lies' (ie the truth they don't want to have known), so it seems we aren't going to have any assistance from an angel on this one. Soon find we're chasing around the corridors again, and my friend Chris has joined us, but I don't seem to want him to follow me, so I run into a corridor that I think leads back to the door where we entered the building, but it is now very dark, and he turns out to be afraid of the dark, so doesn't follow me.

But somehow it seems to lead to somebody kind of leading me to bed and telling me to go to sleep (with hints of some kind of mind control in there, forcing me to forget about all that has been going on, and making me want to sleep) except that the door to my room is open, and all the lights have been left on in the room and the hall, so I get up again and start to wander around to try and turn off the lights, which somehow starts to awaken me once again to what I had been made to forget.

[And on top of dreaming all of that in 10-15 minutes, when I woke up, I was no longer tired. A 10-15 minute nap that was that filled with a crazy dream was enough to wipe away my sleepiness.]

Dream 1(fragments):

I was playing AI War with SilentEternity and was controlling an H/K mk5, we had some problems capping some planet.

Dream 2(fragment):

I was near some kind of factory.

Dream 3:

I was playing old XCOM: UFO Defense and just did standard setup of everything, then shortly intercepted UFO and started the battlescape mission. It was happening in some village/city area that didn't looked like any of original tilesets, it was medium scout and there were not many enemies, but their AI was really good and they actually decently positioned their units behind objects and such. My units had pretty high stats for starting units, except for accuracy, and i managed to screw up one of my best XCOM soldiers by not looking at time units when scouting. Also interface had a few elements from XCOM: TTS. On alien turn he got shot twice and killed, i decided to reload save and try again, this time he got shot only once and survived with 2 HP and 2 critical wounds, which means i have only one turn. He has ridiculous amount of time units though so i make him pick up plasma pistol from enemy, which he could use somehow, and go on a killing spree. Shortly there's only one enemy left which looks like space suit version of calcinite from XCOM: TFTD, i use last of time units to auto shot at him from plasma pistol, but before killing him, XCOM accuracy demonstrates itself like usual by friendly firing at another trooper which was near that calcinite and which detected that in first place. I win the mission, curious about score, but for some reason i only get -10 points for losing XCOM troopers and nothing else. After a while landed UFO gets detected, time for another mission! But no, aliens figure out what's going on and there's huge screenshake, then earth just goes poof. Game over!

there's only one dream i really want to talk about this morning. the others were weird and indistinct, with pretty normal discombobulated imagery.

one was REALLY cool, though.

so a little backstory. last night i went to see superman with a coworker, and before we were walking around and I was talking about how much I love walking around at night. Something about the night air makes it easier for thoughts to circulate. It really does!

After the movie, she drops me off, and I start walking straightaway to the park. The moon is out, it's beautiful. Walking around the baseball diamond, there are a group of kids who seem drunk. I wonder if they'll come into the park and crash my party. I watch them silently, but they keep going down the block.

It was my plan all along to climb onto a roof and enjoy the view. Earlier before I've climbed on top of the dome and hung out 20 feet over the baseball diamond while talking on the phone. I love climbing shit. Love it. I'm really into rock climbing, too. I walk over to a different building on the other side of the field, try to pull up and throw a heel over an overhanging ledge with no feet---super hard, since the foot that's not on the roof pulling myself up is going straight along the underside of the ledge, and I can't pivot my weight around over the ledge and push up. So this is a no-go. I go around the building and find a really easy way up, stepping on a trash can, then on a wooden wall, then straight up to the roof. It's nice up there, and I see some other random walkers and a drunk guy singing on his bicycle as he rolls by. I'm texting and watching the moon.

After I get down I try two more times to do the straight pull-up method. If this was a regular wall I could get it no problem, since I could push off against it with my bottom foot. But as it is it's more like a muscle-up or something, and it's really hard to get my weight fully over and push off my left hand. I try harder this time, but I still can't get it. I'm definitely aware that falling is a possibility, but I'm not afraid. I know my body very well, and I know what I can and can't do, and i know what the danger zone is.

Fuck it, time to walk home. But on my way back there is a really big oak tree, which has grown sideways before it shoots up. It's obvious that kids walk and climb along the lower portions. I swear it's begging for me to climb it. So I do. Perfect balance walking the trunk to the upper branches, and I climb with great awareness, toeing the line. It's 1 in the morning at this point, which is liberating because I know that nobody will see me. I can do this all for myself... for whatever reason I decide to do these things. I go higher and higher. The possibility of falling is always there. That's how it should be. I feel so aware and in tune with myself. Climbing is like problem solving mixed with awareness--you notice smaller details that you can take advantage of, then visualize a plan of action with your mind, then execute it with your body, correcting and calculating all the time.

I get to the highest point in the tree. I spit and watch it fall. They say not to do this when you're a kid, but that only makes me like it more. Spat! on the ground. I let go of my feet and hang with both hands, swinging my feet a little bit. I remember my aunt telling me about the piece of pipe they had hanging over the Yosemite valley when she climbed half-dome. Before they took it down you could just hang over the valley, "just to feel the 9.8m/s^2 pulling on your body." So I do this, at the top of my tree. Not so bad. I let go with one hand. I feel the right one holding on for dear life and then---OHHH SKETCHY!!! I laugh to myself, grab hold again with the other one, and start climbing down again. Walk home, stretch, eat, meditate, go to bed.

So now for my DREAM. I'm driving back from my mom, where I have actually just gone and signed up for a climbing gym membership (which was actually merged with a grocery store, for some reason... this isn't as uncommon of an idea as you'd think). I had a milk pitcher that I drank water from. Talk about a convergence of imagery---I go to work and steam milk for coffee drinks, climb on spare time, and here they both are.

We get on the highway, but I'm walking before I know it. Following another group of kids. There are little planks sticking through on the side, where they're still building the freeway, but I find it really easy to walk on. They are cross-hatched with beams of different sizes. It's like walking on a railroad bridge.

As the freeway onramp gets higher and higher, the planks get sparser, and a little bit harder to walk on. The sketchiness factor increases. I realize that I'm wearing socks, and I can actually SLIDE along the planks which are going parallel to my direction. This is way faster and way funner than walking!! And before I know it, I'm REALLY high up. But fuck it. i realize this, and I keep sliding, albeit more carefully. The sides of what I'm walking on start to drop away, and underneath me the whole city opens up in a birds-eye view. Trees look like tiny broccoli plants on the ground, cars like little beetles milling around. I can see people like ants going about their business. And here is the final plank sticking out over the city, directly in front of me. I drop to my knees, then start to crawl out onto my stomach. It's a little windy, but not so bad that the plank is shaking around. It's like one of those videos where the Russian kids walk out to the edge of a crane. Sheer exposure. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXY5Qee1Qbs OH FUCK. my hands are so sweaty right now.

I'm fully on the edge. My head hangs over, and I look down. My legs are wrapped around it. I take out my phone to take some pictures. This is sketchy too, but I feel secure for some reason in my own capacity. None of the pictures come out. Amazing feeling, staring out over the void.

I walk back in. My mom is waiting. She sees me ecstatic, and yet she is only secondary to my pursuit. (my pursuit of myself, doing this) We're at the top of the freeway still, on a crane thing, and I go to the edge of another appendage. There's a sort of cradle which is man-sized, attached to the crane by a tether. Almost like one of those cages in the ferris wheel rides that can go inverted. I climb onto it and I feel a slight wrenching feeling in my gut. Before I know it I'm out over the edge, swinging around on the tether. But I've caught myself! This is a reaction, a survival instinct. People don't get it, I think. Not like me they don't.

I climb back up the rope holding it in, and do it again. There's the lurching feeling, and I'm holding on with all of my muscles; arms wrapped in a bear hug, legs crossed with calves strung as taught as a crossbow string. I love this feeling. It's really like a roller coaster ride, but there's no harness. Of course there's no harness. That's what makes it exciting. This is how you explore death, toeing the line. I've learned how to hold on.

So whenever I actually do stuff like this in real life, I know that I'm tempting fate (to a small degree, I don't do anything REALLY stupid). But I can't help but think that because I do this on the regular, and I've gotten so comfortable with my comfort zone and pushing ever-so-slightly beyond it, that I'm actually SAFER in my life for having done so. I might even be at my SAFEST when I'm climbing trees or balancing on rails high up or slacklining, because that's when I'm most aware. That's what people don't really get. When you do extreme sports you're LOOKING for the fall, you're cognizant of its existence as a possibility, and keeping the fear alive and healthy means that you're actually a little bit safer. So of course I'm afraid, but I don't think I'll stop. It feels too good, it keeps me alive. It might be an investment in my health... learning about exploring danger, holding on, and learning how to fall.

My Father and I walked into a big shop, I couldn't quite make out where we was. We got some stuff and went to the self-service till, my Dad entered the wrong amount and it came up some error message, so I tried it and changed something on it and some big red message appeared saying "SCAM ALERT" with some writing saying that 2 other people had been charged more on their tills, my Dad had his head down like he had passed out. I end up in a different scenario and the incident that happened earlier in the dream was just a dream. Like a dream inside a dream. But actually a premonition, that is the conclusion I came to inside the dream anyway. We were going to the same shop and i'm guessing the exact same things would have took place, however I told my Dad about everything so instead we did something differently.

Other dreams/fragments:

I remember being in this temple, I don't really remember anything of the dream right now but I do remember that it was a Buddhist temple and there were quite a few people meditating.

I walked in my kitchen to see my cat eating from its bowl, I get a closer look and realize it isn't actually my cat as it was black with a tint of white.

Legend: Dream , Semi-Lucid , Lucid , Side notes.

7th Lucid:

Summary: I just woke up from the first dream i had. I'm in my bedroom, but i suddenly got a feeling, something wasn't right, this didn't feel normal. It then occurred to me that this could be a dream.
So i then did a reality check and it was a dream. I had a false awakening and was now lucid. The level of lucid was low however, i was still lucid but not all the way there. My room was dark. I quickly closed my eyes and tried to teleport to a beach. But it didn't work (if my level of lucidity was higher, i would have had the sense to try again), so i decided to look around my room some more, i saw a skeleton in my bathroom. Well, since i couldn't go to the beach, i decided i'm going to go over and kick that stupid creepy skeleton out of my bathroom. As i did this, i woke up.

Time: About 4 and a half hours after falling asleep.

Break in: I'm driving a car, i have two people in the back, i guess they are my partners, but half way to our destination, they jump out. (idiots) So i finally get to a room in some building, i have some gloves on and other materials with me, it looks as if i'm about to break in to some ones house. Well, my partners are gone so i wait there. Some one comes over eventually but their not my partners. it's a fat guy and some girl from one piece. The girl walks over and tells me that she doesn't want to hear my fucking complaining anymore. The expression on my face was kind of like: Umm, what? screw you too, go away.

Information Runner: The dream starts off with me and my dad. We're on top of a building in the outskirts of a city. The setting is in the future, the government has messed like everything up, people are starving, and me and my dad are part of a resistance, we go and gather information. Anyway, at this point, we're looking for a doctor for some reason. We get down from the building and eventually find a woman with an injured child heading somewhere. We decide that she must know where a doctor is so we follow her. She turns between some houses but we stop. We come up to a house that's sort of elevated off the ground, and it has a very small crawlspace along the ground that we can use to get to the top of the house. So me and my dad crawl along the ground on this slope with the house floor above us. We crawl and i step on a nail with my right foot. That stung a little. Anyway, we get to the top of the house and walk in, there, my dad relays information while i stock up on some guns. The dream ended here.

The movies!: I go with my friends to the movies. The movie we're seeing hasn't started yet so i go to the bathroom. The bathroom is freaking huge, there's even people taking showers in here. Either way, i go up and learn against a wall and start peeing. I literally set there and pee for like 2 minutes straight. When i'm done, i walk out of the bathroom and see a stand with people giving out candy. I head on into the theater, the movie has started. I desperately walk around to find my backpack, i finally find it after making such noise. I'm afraid to get up and find my friends because i've already made a lot of noise. But i don't care, i end up jumping over like 5 seats before i find my friends. Once i find them, these two fat blond ladies come up to our group claiming they know me. One hugs me and i freak out, i tell them to back off and tell me their names. They do and they sound vaguely familiar but i otherwise don't know them. The dream ended there.

Tractors: I'm outside with my dad, and someone is selling guns. this guy is selling an ak-47 for $10,000 dollars, and a grenade launcher for $50,000. I get into an argument about how crazily overpriced the grenade launcher is. ( my dream self doesn't seem to realize that the ak-47 is $10,000....that itself is insane). Either way, i give up and walk into my house and sleep. However, in the middle of the night, i see lights outside. I get excited and i'm like "Yeah, time to see what's going on out here". i look out and i see two of our tractors driving around the yard. I look closer and notice no one is driving them, the tractors are driving themselves. This was freaking weird, i didn't know how to respond to that. I then go to my dad, and he replies "Oh yeah...that sometimes happens" in a casual voice. How is this not a big deal for him?!?!

Skateboard rivals: The only thing i remember about this one, is that i'm in a futuristic looking town in some park. I notice that two rival skateboard gangs are challenging each other ( yeah...skateboard gangs that are fighting over which skateboard style is better ). They do some crazy tricks and i think i remember something about them eventually blowing up the park because one guy jumps up like 2 miles into the air and on impact...his skateboard exploded. xD

Last night I had a bunch of dreams, but for the life of me I cannot recall almost anything from them. Just a few bits and pieces. I woke up on my own around 3 and 5. It seems I don't really need an alarm clock anymore because I always wake up before it goes off.

Around 5 (I think?) is when I tried to WILD. I felt myself falling asleep and almost lost it but then remembered and kept telling myself "this is a lucid dream" until finally I was in the dream. I found myself on the top of the roof of a half-built half-unfinished home. All I remember was walking through a door before I woke up. Short, but better than the first lucid WILD I achieved. I think I'm getting better.

Dream Fragments
-Dad was driving with me in the front seat next to him. We were driving over a bridge when he lost control and our car drove off and we fell into the river. The water was very muddy and murky and it was filling up the car fast. I yelled at my dad to open his window, since mine wouldn't work(we have electronic ones). He opened his just enough to have room to squeeze out. I took a deep breath and then we went underwater. Dad was taking so long to get out of the window and I wanted him to hurry. I was running out of air. I think we made it somehow.

-Dad had surprised me by getting us two McFlurries.

-Indian amazing skier on ski hill

-being punished for some reason by someone

22.06.2013

Almost Killing Someone (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I can't remember much to this dream, but it had the similar environment like the previous dream, except the scenario was more cruel. Basically people who were in trouble had to run around some area inside the building, and if you didn't comply, it would only make matters worse. It was like being inside of a building full of snobby, immature, and inconsiderate individuals. There was this one guy that really bugged me, bugged me to the point where even in the non-lucid state, I couldn't tolerate his existence anymore.

I believe I grabbed his neck and had a gun form from my left hand. I shoved the tip of the barrel extending from my hand to make him feel how close he was to getting his brains blown. Of course, I don't really shoot him, but I was just inches away from doing so. I probably felt bad later on, but that's probably because now I feel a bit miserable just recalling it.

_________________________

22.06.2013

Kinesiology Professor Owns Quarter of a Billion Dollars (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside of a building resembling a University, and the presumption is because I saw my Kinesiology professor there, and I already had my own respect for him despite this just being a non-lucid dream. He was gathering everyone in his class, about 15 people I'm presuming, to give a final speech before the class was officially over.

He went on to state something related to expressing lessons of love and how people may have seen him as someone who's only doing the job for the money. He clears the misconception immediately by admitting that he's only doing this to teach and grow, because he already has an accumulation of a quarter of a billion dollars, so the money behind the job is not really important to him. He goes on to declare other things that makes me and the rest of the classmates almost cry.

I go up to him, shake his hand, and gave him a hug because of what he said, and I started to cry. I told him he's one of the best damn coaches/professors/teacher in this University. And he really was.

He pats my back a few times, and everyone begins to go their separate ways, and I can't remember where I heading for, but I do know that I wanted to stand still for a bit and let the experience marinate a bit.

Level of Lucidity: 1
Level of Clarity: 7
Level of Realism: 2
(levels based 0-10, 0-5 being low - good 5-10 being great - extreme)

I was standing in what looked like a barber shop. I looked around and there was another guy in the shop too. He was wearing a white lab coat. I looked to my right and there was a girl laying on a small hospital style bed, and she seemed as if she had just been released from a hospital. Her parents were standing next to her and they were just about to leave. I realized that this place was like an "Under-Ground hospital". Kind of a "Discount Hospital" for people who can't afford to go to the real hospital, and apparently I was an employee there. Suddenly a man rushed through the door and was hollering about how I need to help his daughter right now! I of course only know basic medical stuff from medical reading guides online regarding stitching, CPR, numbing parts of the body after serious injury or dismembered limbs, etc etc.

The man who owned the shop looked at me and said "Fix her up." I nodded and cleared off the table and told the guy to lay her down there. I went into the back and started gathering some things. I grabbed a small bag of basic "Doctor Tools" such as the light you shine into the eye, and such. I brought them out and set them on the ground next to the girl, and quickly walked back through the door. There was a curtain on the door and I walked through it, and got tangled up in the extra long curtain. I struggled with it for a minute and then finally got free. I knew that I knew this place, but I wasn't sure where anything was. I looked down behind the curtain and there was a table with all sorts of toolbelts that doctors would use and other medicines and stuff. I was looking for a stethoscope in specific so that I could start off getting her blood pressure.



I realized I didn't have a watch and started looking for one of those. I couldn't find one and realized I was starting to make me and the shop look like a very unprofessional place. I went back to where the others were and sat by them. I put the stethoscope ear plugs up to my ears, and had started removing the girls jacket and shirt. I put the end of the stethoscope to the girls chest. I started taking her heart beat per minute. I didn't have a watch but somehow I just knew. (Dream logic. Ftw.)

I tossed the stethoscope aside and looked at the girls arm, where there was obviously a major issue. There was a giant hole in the girls arm and it was extremely cut and there was blood coming out of it and it needed it be stitched ASAP. I quickly grabbed a needle that was pre-loaded with a numbing medicine. I injected it into the girls arm and then found the stitches and stitching material. I was about to stitch the girls arm up and then decided to take pictures of the girl arm first in case anything went wrong and we had to take her to the real ER. I grabbed the medical tool belt I picked up earlier and shuffled through it trying to find a camera. There was a futuristic sort of screen with a small camera lens on the front. I grabbed it and started taking pictures of the girls wounds. She was clearly in severe pain.

After I took pictures of the girls wounds I looked at the dad who seemed to be a well-off man. I questioned to myself "Why would he be coming here instead of just taking her to a real ER?"

I looked to the dad and told him "I've done just the basics and she should hold out for a bit, but that she needs to get to a trained staff where they have several surgeons and she needs to get the proper medical treatment."

The dad nodded and sighed reluctantly and then picked the girl up in his arms and started walking out the door. I noticed she had a mother with her too which hadn't been there before. I then awoke.