Recent DJ Posts

I woke up one morning in my room to my mom informing me that I have one minute left to live. Once the shock wore off I learned it was because I had both liver disease and liver cancer. I said goodbye to my crush/longtime friend and we had a touching moment over the phone and I thought about how I must have been destined to be one of those trans kids who dies young. The whole time spent in the dream felt lofty and half conscious as I was prepared to legitimately take a pre-death selfie and post it on my story. I started to think about meeting Lucifer in the afterlife as my fingers went cold and I commented to myself about how I guess my senses were going one at a time.

I dreamt I was in the middle of some crazy military chaos in some densely populated city

Spoiler for gory:

there were civillians in large cages, they were getting executed, shot by shotguns, assault rifles, and then other soldiers came to shoot these soldiers,
and I could see it all the gore, realisticly, sometimes I floated, sometimes I walked around I wasnt entirely corporal, I didnt get hurt somehow

but it was really fucked up, hard to watch, idk how I didnt wake up then



Then I was in some sort of band , me and a 3-4 others , we were friends sort of
we got out of somewhere, a brawl or something, I only had a hammer, each of the dudes had different similarly not too good weaponry
my shirt was teared apart...
It was night, were were walking somewhere on a road, in the middle of nowhere, plains, trees and lots of bushes and grass, only the moon lit up the scene and maybe a few lamps
I was singing a viking song , we talked about the lifestyle
suddenly we were ambushed by 4 or so similar guys, one of them had a spear, the others idk
I fought one or two off, got them on the head with the hammer, the spear guy came, tried to stab me but couldnt, I deflected it with a hammer somehow, always missing only by inches
the other guys were killing the rest of the enemy, I was trying to make an opening
then I made distance , and he threw the spear, he missed, then ran towards the other guys, he apparently had a sword, I picked up the spear and ran
just before he could cut them down I pierced him hard , he fell
one of us took out his phone and turned on the flashlight on it
apparently two of my friends were cut, one was already dead, the other was bleeding out fast but I couldnt see where,
while one hooded guy, the enemy was writhing in pain on top of them,
idk how I felt, but I wanted to do something for these two, honor the dead, with the blood of the enemy

Spoiler for gory:

so I took aim and stabbed repeatedly the hooded guy in the skull, I could hear disgusting sounds of flesh and bone giving way, blood started to gush up like a fountain to cover his whole face

I tried ask my friend where was he hurt, maybe he could be saved, but I couldnt see, but he said it's ok,he seemed to be smiling...
and I just had to watch him starting to fade out
and then I woke up

In the car with my mother, suddenly and unexpectedly we were on a strange but beautiful road through an arid landscape with large, low, bulbous overhead lights, so I said to her this is an unfamiliar location and she said yes; then I realized one or both of us might be dreaming it in the car and she might be asleep at the wheel so I warned her! Remained non-lucid.

Something was wrong with the car. Note that the car in real life is well over 100,000 miles and making a noise and just getting a new one has been the topic of much discussion, and I really want to get a new one.

But anyway. Something was wrong with the car, but for some reason the only mechanics we could find were really underqualified and I didn’t think they were trained. It was a pair, one man and one woman. Or rather, they almost looked more like teenagers. And probably twins.They really didn’t seem to have the slightest idea what was wrong, or even understand what they were looking at once the hood was up.

Under the hood was something like a mechanical arm that was supposed to move between two points that had something to do with starting the car. Like it controlled the spark plugs or something, I don’t know cars myself but I know there are no mechanical arms involved.

Well we decided to just take it somewhere else when the pair wasn’t helpful, but then found that the car wouldn’t start at all, which was a step backwards from just making a noise. I asked the girl if the arm was broken and she looked at me very confused as if my question didn’t make sense, and asked what did I mean? Her tone was condescending, as if I had no business asking or else the question was dumb. I asked again about the arm. She shrugged and answered, Oh, I cut that off. The last thing I remember before waking up was thinking that a decent mechanic could have fixed the arm and now the car was even worse off with it cut off.

I was at a party/festival/similar event where we had fireworks that were somehow indoors. The room was huge, like a stadium, so there was enough space. The problem was, people were crowded around and dropped their belongings as they moved and danced so much so that afterwards, the lost and found piles took the whole room. I only wanted my sandals and was looking for them in a large pile of sandals. I couldn't find mine, but I found expensive Nike's that were definitely not mine. It occurred to me then, that no one's stuff had a name on it and Nike's were plain as Nike stuff went, just the logo. I could claim them and leave the area and then no one would be able to tell that I definitely hadn't bought them weeks ago. In other words, I could away with just stealing an upgrade to my sandals.

They didn't fit. Dammit.

So I went elsewhere, I forget if it was to actually find something of mine or possibly just to see what was up for the claiming that I might sneak away with. I found a nice looking pair of sunglasses but got nervous about just taking them because a woman was beside me also looking at them. I didn't want to be caught taking them if they were hers, that would be very obvious. So I held them out and asked if they were hers, since I noticed she was looking at them too. She took them and said, yes they are. But I recall wondering if she was telling the truth or just trying to find something cool to take like I myself was. I didn't argue in case she was honest and started a fight over the sunglasses. I think I got away with a necklace at some point, though.

I own a pair of wireless earbuds; they're black. In the dream snippet I was in my room with two of the black pairs plus a pair in white. My earbuds have L and R on them despite being the same shape and looking neutral. But in the dream I was thinking that if I couldn't match the correct case they'd either not charge or even break. Not an issue for the white pair in a white case, but the black ones? And it didn't help that I had one extra black earbud marked not L or R, but 73A. So five black earbuds. Well as long as I was confused I decided to try and charge both L's and listen with them and do the same with both R's, just to see if they'd sync to each other. I guess I was willing to risk breaking them all? And then figure out what the 73A one did. There was someone I didn't know with me who was going to help me with this, but I woke up.

I haven't been able to dream journal much lately because my dreams take on a strange intangible feel where not much of it really translates well to journal form. Last night my girlfriend and I did a staycation at our favorite hotel and the beds there are magnificent. Weighted blanket and a down pad.

I got very good sleep and even woke up naturally 10 minutes before the wbtb alarm I set. Nothing much would come from it because I fell back asleep to quickly without trying WILD or MILD.

10.04.2022
7:00 AM

Dream Watch (non-lucid)

I am in an unfamiliar bedroom. It is dark but I see a nice watch on the nightstand. I pick it up. It has dark leather straps, a dark face, and grey metal case. I check it against the clock on the wall and realize it is two and a half hours slow but it is ticking at the right rate. I pop out the knob and start adjusting it but it's hard to see the dials clearly in the dark.

Bug Infestation turned Lucid Dream
I was in the kitchen of my home, but it more closely resembled the kitchen of my Grandma's old house. I was by the dogfood container and I was going to feed my dog when I noticed a flat, round glass object on the ground that was completely covered in small bugs, it was either baby spiders or tiny brown ants. I jumped back and went to get bug spray, when I saw across the kitchen, through my open sliding glass door into my room was a lifted up carpet, and tons of baby spiders were crawling about, there were a few baby roaches and even a large grasshopper, too.
I've been having quite a few bug infestation dreams, so I actually made it a dreamsign, so while in awe of the sheer amount of bugs I immediately did a reality check by plugging my nose, and was pleasantly surprised when I still managed to breathe through my plugged nose. I used my lucidity to expel all of the bugs, and then there was a bit of a dream reset or something, I don't know, but I was suddenly on my bed in my room. My room, however, was stripped down to the bare essentials. There was my bed, but of a smaller size and rotated 90 degrees and now perpendicular to the wall with gray-blue covers, and in the corner across from it a small desk with my computer desktop, however where there were once three monitors there was now only one. Also rotated 90 degrees, now facing the wall. I began walking around my room in circles, the walls were a light gray and a soft light illuminated the room. Judging by my room primarily being lit by the light, I assume it was very early morning outside and the sun had not yet risen or completely risen. I was mainly focusing on trying to either add more detail to the setting or imagine a new one entirely, but since it's been a while since I lucid dreamed nothing really happened. I decided I would go flying around, so I flew around in an empty yet well lit void til I eventually lost lucidity.

Invisible car dream
I was at my dad's old house, the one I grew up in. It was night time and I wanted to go out to get a bite to eat, but my car wasn't out there, so I was waiting for my sister or whoever had it to come back. It was night time and the street and part of the yard was well illuminated by a bright, orange street light. There was no porch light however so it was fairly dark, but my brother was on the porch playing online chess. Despite there being a monitor it was still pretty dark. He was in some kind of chess tournament. We talked but I don't remember any dialogue aside from him telling me that he used my car, but he left it in "invisible mode". He told me you could see the reflections of the car. I looked out to the street and I could vaguely make out the top of a large, box-like shape due to the streetlight reflecting off of moisture on it. Apparently my car was now a UPS truck. I can't recall anything else from that dream.

Dad's New Dog
Once again I'm living with my dad at our old house. This time it's early morning. The sun is just rising, it's cool and humid out, and I can still feel the wetness from the dew on the grass. I walked around to the back of the house and saw my dad up on a ladder, and then an american bulldog with brown spots came running up to me. He was huffing heavily but mostly friendly. My dad said he got us a new dog. The dog kept following me very close behind and nudging me with his snout. I then walked back towards the front of the house and now it was completely different. Instead of grass, there was a cobblestone walkway. There was a bit of a roof overhang with pillars holding it up, and the house had an off-white, stone grainy texture and a red clay roof tiles. There was some woman with two kids that I "knew" and I was now worried that the dog might jump on them or even hurt them, so I kind of kept him back while they went inside the house.

Dream Fragments
I remember being on the corner of my dad's old property once again, outside the fence on the dirt road. I was behind a few trees and I remember a truck coming down the road. It was beginning to rain. In fact, it was raining super hard. I think the guy in the truck told me I better try to get inside. I remember floating up to the top of the tree and I think I tried to fly to the inside of the house.

Another fragment had me inside of a house that I didn't recognize. It was pretty comfy though. Lit entirely by natural light from outside, it was a bit dim because of the rain. The furniture was a grayish color. There was a thin but long living room that connected to a dining room and kitchen with a bar. I think I was waiting for someone and I was home alone.

I was in my room waiting for my sister to get back. I think she was bringing chocolate milkshakes.

Dream #1: My friend and I were in the army, it looked like we were deployed in Iraq. We were clearing a house to make sure there were no hostiles.

Dream #2: We were at school in the middle of the night, except it wasn't really like learning school -- also we were in my neighborhood at midnight, waiting for a bus to pick us up.

Dream #3 My friend, a random guy, and a girl in my neighborhood all went biking together, and I'm pretty sure it was the girl that I like IRL, and I don't think she has a mutual feeling lol.

Dream #4: My family and I were walking through this very nice city, it looks like it was somewhere in Italy. We brought our pet dogs with us and that was fun.

Dream #5: I went to my cousin's house in Pennsylvania, and some of my friends from my old school were there, it was odd. Then I saw my cousin which I hadn't seen in like 3 years, so that was nice.

comment dream lucid

I woke up half an hour before my usual wake-up time and assumed I wouldn't fall back asleep, but after a while, I did and had a long, very shifting dream.

Fragments (not sure about the order and transitions between them):
- I'm packing my things for some big trip with my mom and my brother, packing a big suitcase. I'm almost ready, but they're not, and I'm rushing them because we have no chance to catch the plane. But they ignore me for the most part and I'm nervous and stressed.
- There's a magician, a dangerous man, but he trusts me, probably because I'm willing to work with him and not ask questions. I go out of the building to dump something in the trash for him, probably magical waste. It looks like a pear in a plastic bag, plus some kind of box, but I know better than to check what's in it.
- I'm out with my brother, we're going somewhere. Then we sit on a bench and I empty the mess out of my shoe and show the shoe to him. He says he doesn't want running shoes. I show him how it has a soft sole and offer him the shoe to try on.
Then the magician is there instead, and there's a railing behind us and stairs deep down. Somehow my shoe falls down - either he throws it there or somehow accidentally causes it to fall. I look him in the eye and tell him he should bring it back. He looks at me, surprised that I have the audacity to say that to him, but without a word he gets up and walks down the stairs. I follow a few steps behind him.

Leading to the lucid part
I am traveling in a group on horseback, including family members, the plan is to travel on horseback through several countries and then by train, this is a replacement for the original plan.
Then we walk through pastures and someone tells us there is a dangerous cow, but now there is just an older, very playful, calf and sheep playing together.
We walk along a field track, there are fenced pastures all around, and there is a rhino in one. It's very dangerous. I wonder if they have something like a mini zoo and why they have a rhino if it's so dangerous.
I get to the garden where there are some roses, new varieties that I've been talking to someone about online, and also a small-flowered clematis.
There are more beds and I want to see more, but I'm disappointed, there's not much else, just weird vertical structures for vertical growing and some shade-loving plants. There's a woman I know from a gardening forum and she says it's not finished yet.
Then I'm with some people, half in, half out, as if the garden has turned into a spacious interior. People are supposed to go through some doors, but they don't really want to, probably afraid of the rhino that's still out there somewhere. I walk through the door and someone asks me if I'm the last one through, and I say no.
I get a yellow and black frilly dress and am told it comes with trousers. There is a group of girls around, each in different dresses, but all in black and yellow. I put the dress on and someone helps me pull it over my head, and someone else hands me the black trousers.
Something weird is being done in the group, maybe magical.
The woman near me - I recognize her as my former classmate, H. - is having a nervous breakdown.
She asks, "How can this be happening?" She's hysterical and clutching her head. "Am I dreaming?"
I chuckle and say, "I am, and so are you." I kiss her passionately on the mouth and tell her, "Go and enjoy it."
Like I'm sending her out to enjoy her lucid dream. I say this semi-lucidly, not having the slightest intention of detaching myself from the dream. But as she disappears outside, I feel some responsibility for her and I follow her.
I walk out the door and I'm in a large square. Directly in front of me are steps down to the main area of the square, and then to the right are more gradual steps up, probably along the town walls. H. is already a little ahead of me, he is now with someone, they have started to levitate and have flown across the gap between the steps and are now flying faster, up over the steps, and disappearing in the distance. I call out, "H., wait!" and I envy her such skill in the first LD and I know I won't catch up to her.
I put my hand forward and begin to concentrate on catching her and her companion in an imaginary loop, then pull them back by the force of will.
She stands in front of me, a little confused, but she understands that my abilities are greater than hers. I think to myself that I made a point, but that maybe it wasn't necessary, and let her go.
I tell myself that since I'm so good at telekinesis, I might as well do what she did - try using telekinesis to fly - use it on myself.
I'll give it a try and try to levitate down the stairs.I float a little, but at the same time, I am inevitably falling until I'm back on the ground, a few steps down.
I try again and this time I try to focus on myself/catch myself into the imaginary loop and add the impello spell word, but it doesn't help, the same result as before. Like I can't use telekinesis on myself.

I wake up after this.

Notes:
- Another semi-lucid into lucid type of dream. Sometimes I think I am sort of natural in semi-lucid dreaming, my dream me almost always knows it is a dream to some extent but it's hard to tell unless the dream plot makes it obvious. The breakthrough from semi-lucidity to full lucidity is still hard for me, though. And sometimes, it isn't a breakthrough at all, like it is all a spectrum.

comment non-lucid lucid

12th April was the international lucid dreaming day. There was an idea to celebrate this by lucid dreaming about being at a party with other DV members. I normally don’t do tasks and challenges (too early for me) but I decided to try this time.
1st attempt - night from 11th to 12th April - VILD - failed. This is the day after (2nd attempt).

Awakening 11:02, I decide to simply set the intention for “I see something = dream”

3 irrelevant non-lucid dreams (shortened)
Investing lecture - I am attending a lecture or a conference talk about investing.
School and singing - I am in school and a classmate is singing beautifully.
Hanging G - A friend (G) hangs himself but is still alive. I am not sure if I should help him or not.

On the way to the party
I am standing on a footpath or a local lane. I realize I see something and that means I am dreaming. I remember my plan to find a door, go to Prague and go to a pub there to attend the DV party (I decided to put it in Prague - I haven’t been there for a long time and it would be a good place for a party).
But there are no significant buildings around! There is one old cottage without doors and a rusty metal shed or a garage. I am thinking what to do if the door is locked and I decide it shouldn’t matter for teleporting. As I approach the shed, I see the door is very rusty and very small and I decide not to use it and find something better.
I follow the path, it gets grassy but there are no houses now. I can see a forest in the distance.
I walk very quickly, the scenery around me changes unrealistically quickly but I feel like walking normally. No houses and no DCs. It gets slightly blurry and I check my pockets and find some paper tissues there but I realize it is my black jacket and I am actually wearing it IRL, which means it isn’t a part of the dream and I can’t use it to stabilize. I touch the ground instead, I can feel the gravel of the path and it helps immediately. The dream is very vivid now.
I continue and there is a tree. I remember reading about someone who created a wolf in a LD, thinking “there is a wolf behind the tree”. I try to think it but as I come closer, I realize that the tree is too small to hide a wolf. There is a small boy and a weasel and the weasel is defensively aggressive, hissing at the boy.
The path becomes a gravel road and I suddenly notice I walk barefoot and can feel every step. It is almost painful.
Then it is a footpath again, grassy and comfortable to walk on. Bog grass (common rush) grows next to the path and I touch it with my hands, it feels very realistic and I take a stem with the brown flower with me, to use it for stabilizing later, if needed.
Then the path follows an edge of a hill with steeps cliffs. I can see glimpses of a city down in the valley. I go closer to the edge and the view opens in front of me. The city is very beautiful with some small houses, medium houses and tall skyscrapers reflecting light. It feels a little bit like Prague but it isn’t Prague, it’s too modern for that.
There is a concrete slab right at the edge above the cliffs, it’s almost like a springboard or a platform for jumping down. The view is even better from there.
I decide to stop trying to find doors and fly instead. There are some trees but the slab looks perfect for jumping from it and flying towards the city.
I want to run get speed for the jump, so I walk a couple of meters from the edge and I make sure it is a dream. I start to run but I remember that I still have the jacket (unzipped) and that would be bad for flying, so I stop and zip it up. I put something in my pocket, in case I need to stabilize the dream while flying.
Suddenly, there is R, telling me something. I don’t listen and try to run again but I am too far from the edge and don’t see the platform well, so I go closer. R looks very confused, so I tell him that this is a dream and I am going to jump. He seems to understand.
I take a deep breath to run.

And I suddenly wake up without warning, no fading, no blurriness, no feeling of resurfacing. I think I snored IRL or tried to clear my nose and it jolted me awake. DEILD failed.
Time 12:04

“This is a dream”
I am on a street with R and some friend. I realize that I see something and that it is a dream. There are many houses and many doors around! And I am lucid for the second time this night, yay! I feel very confident, time to go to Prague.
I tell my companions to go ahead, I will catch up with them later. They stay, look at me and don’t understand. I say to myself fuck this shit and confidently tell them “this is a dream” (as you don’t exist, stop bothering me) hoping to get rid of them.
The dream suddenly fades to black. I touch the ground and can feel some stones but everything is still black and fading. I am confused because this always works. It feels like the dream is laughing at me.
I wake up but I don’t open my eyes. I lost my lucidity here but I think it was a false awakening, not a real one. I don’t know how long it was to the next dream, I think there was a period of NREM sleep.

Mouse FA (not sure if this dream was before the LD or after, probably after)
I am in a bed in some flat, there is a narrow kitchen and balcony. There is some kind of mouse that gets under my blanket and cuddles with me as my cat does. It’s my pet and I am surprised it was free to round around the flat when I was sleeping, it could have hurt itself in the kitchen or fallen from the balcony.

Cathedral FA
I wake up in a bed in some hotel room. I remember the LD and trying to DEILD. I think I even tried to DEILD in this dream to get back to the LD.
There are friends and one of them, T, tells me that they are going to have coffee if I want to go with them. I talk with R and I need to brush my teeth, so I tell T that I need 5 minutes and he says that 5 minutes is ok.
We have the coffee one floor down from our room. It is much nicer room.
We go back to our room and it looks different now, the bed is bigger. I think I like it more than the room under us. T says it is the high ceiling, making it more airy.
Then I enter a corridor, leading from our room. I see some stained glass windows and as I continue, I can see I am in a beautiful cathedral. There are stairs leading down to the floor of the cathedral (I am standing at the top of the stairs), the stained glass windows are a mix of very modern and traditional images and it’s huge with huge cupola above my head. There is a small chapel in the middle with a column raising from its roof, supporting the roof/dome. The column is thick, possibly having stairs inside.
I realize our hotel is a part of some historic building. Someone calls me from our room, telling me that I am in the paid section. I say that I am just looking. We have to find time, buy tickets and visit the cathedral later.
Someone says that the map is lost and if I know something about it. I say that I don’t because in my lucid dreams, all things are created by the dream, so I wouldn’t need to take the map with me to my recent LD.
Then I go back to our room, having some trouble to climb the stairs, someone offers me a hand.

I woke up soon after this dream.

1st time being lucid 2 times per night!

comment non-lucid semi/questioning lucid

Waking up at 10:00 (falling asleep around 5). Journaling 3 dream fragments.
Some problems with sleeping. 10:50 postman.

Hill and a subway
I am hiking to some hill and I take the subway on my way back. I am worried that I fail to get off at the correct station.

FA1
I am in some room, in a guest house, after coming back from the hike. It's the morning and I am putting on a long canvas dress, even though it looks weird and it is cold.

FA2
I am again in some kind of accommodation (possibly the same as in the previous dream) but the room is different. I really want to sleep but I am worried that it's too late and I don't know when the checkout time is. Then there is R and he is not worried at all. He offers me some breakfast cereals. I remember I've already eaten them and threw away the box (IRL). I am thinking that he probably hid/put aside some of them. I want him to find out when the checkout is.

FA3
I am again in the same room but this time, I am sleeping on a mattress on the ground, close to the bed from the previous dream. R is next to me, taking too much space and waking me up and I am mad because I want to sleep. Then I remember that we actually sleep somewhere else, so I should get enough sleep, even though I am not sleeping here.
Then the dream shifts to some time later and we are getting up. R is sitting on the mattress. I say "this is a FA" and do a nose-plug RC. I can breathe. But I am still confused and I can't see well. I ignore R (he doesn't exist anyway) and have the idea to find my glasses, maybe they help me with my vision. I go to the bed from FA2, trying to find them. I find it fascinating that I can be dreaming and moving at once. It's like I think I am sort of sleepwalking and the bed from FA2 is my real bed and my body is my real body. I find the glasses but I don't use them - I am thinking that this all is creating in my head so it would be pointless to try to wear the glasses.
I go to the window, thinking about jumping out and flying. But what if this is reality?
I go to the door and suddenly, my vision is much better and not blurry at all. I think I woke up (in my sleepwalking body). I do the nose-plug RC again and I can breathe, so I relax. I notice R is watching me and feel bad for ignoring him. I tell him that this is a FA and because he saw me doing the nose-plug RC, I try to show him finger-in-palm RC but it doesn't go through. I try it again, really believing it can go through, but nothing. I think I am really bad at this.
I finally remember my goal to pass through a wall. But there is no point in trying to go through a wall if I can't make my finger go through my palm.
I wake up. DEILD attempt failed.

Time: 12:40
I can't sleep. Some unstable minidreams.

MiniWILD
I can't sleep and I am feeling earthquake-like vibrations. It's annoying because I want to sleep but I am familiar with them and prepare for a separation attempt.
I stay at our garden door. I slowly sit down, remembering that I need to take things slowly and slowly try to separate. Then I realize I am not in my bed anymore, which means I am already separated.
The dream collapses.
Then there is another wave of vibrations. But nothing afterwards.
I can't sleep...

I wake up at 13:25, I want to get up. I take another cushion, put my glasses on, trying to find the will for journaling my dreams. But I feel too tired. I put the glasses away and close my eyes... ten more minutes... or maybe a WILD? Falling asleep feels easy.

PseudoWILD
I watch HI and daydream a little bit, interacting with the HI and dreamlets.
At one moment, I notice there is instrumental music in the background. I realize it is in my head and not outside, so I could use it to get into the dream. I focus on the music, trying to raise the volume.
Through small gaps in my eyes, I start to see a room. It works. But it fades a little bit and I feel my body in the bed (dream body, dream bed). I focus again and I can almost see through my eyes but also not really. I have the idea that my dream eyes are closed and I try to open them. It works. I close my eyes and open them again and my vision is very good.
I get up, slowly, worried about the stability of the dream, but it's fine and I walk a bit. I am in an unknown room, my dream bed is there and another bed/sofa. And R is here, I bump into him on my way to the door. He blocks my way out, I almost pass through him but not fully. I tell him "you are just a DC, you don't exist" (really meaning "you shouldn't be blocking my way"). He says nothing.
I take his hand, leading him to the sofa, sitting next to him. He now looks like my brother, J. I say "and that's why you look like J". I feel sorry for him but skip to the only idea I have how to use this dream. "Do you want to have sex?" I ask. He is silent. "Do you want to do something else?" He shakes his head and gives me and an empty look.

I wake up. The time is 1:51. Interestingly, I feel well and not tired anymore.

Notes:
- I struggle with fake insomnia. It can manifest as dreams about not being able to sleep (as above) or I can be in a conscious NREM sleep while thinking I am awake. Basically, my ability to tell the difference between conscious NREM and being awake is almost non-existent.
- I can't tell if the pseudoWILD was WILD or not. I obviously dreamed most of the "transition". What I perceived as my bed and my body was a dream bed and a dream body (most probably). I can't tell if the music was a HH (then it would count as a confused WILD, I guess) or if it was a part of the dream (so technically not a WILD). But if I lost my self-awareness, I was out for a minute or two, probably not much more. The whole thing took between 20 and 25 minutes.

Finally, some time to catch up with the DJ here.
No lucidity this time but I am including this because the dream - daydream confusion is somewhat important to me.

dream comment

O and a lake
A dream about my friend O and a frozen lake. Trying to cross the like and worrying about the thickness of the ice.

A&P
My friends, A and P, have a bunch of rings, some are their wedding bands, some are other rings, we talk about them. There is a stone, blue and gold, with a labradorite-like effect, very heavy. I like that.
In this dream, I think it is a daydream and not a dream. Later, I realize this was a dream.

Grandmother
I am with my grandmother, in her garden. There are some weeds. I am thinking about possible spaces for planting roses.
I think this is a daydream and not a dream.
Then we go inside and I log my previous dreams (O and a lake, A&P) in my DJ.
For some reason, I don't wear any top. Some girl wants to see what I am writing but I tell her it was personal. But I show it to her anyway.

Gravel road
I am lying on a gravel road, trying to sleep. I decide there is no point in trying to sleep. I decide to log my dreams.
Then I go down the road.
And again, I think this is a daydream!
There is a blanket and my husband and I sit next to him and think about my dreams. I remember I forgot my DJ up on the road but forgot it after a moment.
Right next to us, there is a house and a door and I get inside with some female DC. It is a house of someone rich and important but they don't live there anymore and artificial intelligence is caring for the house. The girl DC let them to serve us and care for us. We are there for days or weeks (it doesn't feel like that but it the knowledge behind the dream).
Then we are outside again and they catch us and someone is surprised by our behavior.
I slowly wake up from this, struggling to believe it was a dream, but remembering that I already logged my dreams twice!



And another one on 3rd April

I am trying to VILD. I imagine drawing numbers and colouring them. Then I daydream about being an apprentice of a master of drawing. But it doesn't last long.
I slip into a mi of short daydreams turning into dreams. I feel awake and aware of my surroundings but I don't realize that some daydreams fully turned into dreams.

Sex
I am in a room with some people/friends. I am wearing my nightie only. T touches my breasts under the nightie. I tell him that I don't mind him doing that but that I don't like not having control over it (basically, that I want it and he should continue but I don't like him not asking).
I snap my fingers and all other people in the room disappear, it's just two of us.
I love that. I think how cool it would be to have this skill in a real dream, but this doesn't count because it is only a daydream.
Then we start kissing... and other things.



Notes
I don't know why I struggle with this. Maybe because I like to daydream and my morning daydreams with closed eyes can be vivid and look the same as dreams - at least to my half-asleep brain.
About the differences:
Visualization - completely conscious, needs to be maintained with a lot of energy, needs to be micromanaged.
Daydream - telling myself a story, it can be with our without a narrative over, usually with good visuals. It's part me, part subconscious. Me steering the whole thing but micromanaging isn't needed. It stops if I stop.
Dream - 100% subconscious, running on its own.

I used to think that when anything happens in my daydream which I didn't put there (a new object, a new scenery) that it means that it is a dream. But in fact, it is not stable at that point. It needs more to become a dream.
When daydreaming during hypnagogia, a lot can happen. My dreaming mind is usually trying to distract me by changing the scenery and changing things in my dream. It is OK to let it rather than trying to keep the focus... but it is then hard to stay lucid. This often leads to semi-lucid dreams. With a good chance of regaining the lucidity later.

One more note: My FAs are never in my bedroom. It can be a hotel room, random room, or just trying to sleep anywhere, like on the road. Fragmented low-quality sleep causes this type of FAs for me.

OK, so I am going to do this, although I am not sure I have enough time to log my dreams twice - once in my DJ notebook and once here (and to translate them into English and make them readable). So I am going to keep this to LDs and the most interesting NLDs.

As someone with some LDs in past and as someone interested in dreams in general, I am often quite aware in my dreams/of my dreams but at the beginning, it was frustrating. It felt like being stuck in 0 layer lucidity and almost lucid dreams but not getting there.
Some interesting snippets from these dreams:

comment dream

12 Feb
At the airport, I see a big clock. I have the idea to check if they work. The clock arms point to 2 and 10. I think "People on Reddit were wrong, clocks work in dreams" and continue trying to catch my plane.

15 Feb
I don't like how the dream is going (someone's trying to kill me). I pause the dream and think "Really? Does it have to end like this? Can I do something to stop it? No, it's too late." I expect to wake up (I guess) but the dream resumes and shifts to a continuation in near future.

16 Feb
In a train, going down a very steep hill, extremely fast, like a rollercoaster. I am thinking: "We are too fast" but also "It will be fine". I know it doesn't matter.

17 Feb
I try to use magic against Severus Snape, it fails and I think: "Magic never works in dreams."

I am with my father in a boat and he misses a waterfall and we go over the edge. I am mad and I think: "We will 'die' and this will end. Or maybe not. Let's see." We are fine after the impact.
It's like I am almost never afraid of consequences in my dreams.

23 Feb
I 'know' this is a recurring dream. Or game. I did this before. I played this. I tell other DCs/players how it normally goes but this time it's different. A bomb explodes later because my friend makes a mistake and we 'lose' and are all dead.

25 Feb
I am hunted by some DCs and I use magic to defeat them. This time, I am more confident and I think: "Magic works in my dreams" and I create a force field and it works.
In my past, I would consider this dream as lucid... but I didn't really reflect in any way on the dream. I consider these dreams semi-lucid.

27 Feb - Trying FILD
FILD FA - my 1st FA - I tried FILD but wasn't able to find a good position for my hand so I gave up
I am lying in a corner of some town square, like a homeless. I think: "This corner is certainly dirty" but it doesn't smell. I have my blanket over me and I am trying to find a position for FILD. I can't find one, so I think: "It is a stupid technique" and go to sleep.
Later - FILD reality check
I am awake with closed eyes and I want to try FILD again. I feel like I was doing it for hours at that point and lost a lot of sleep to it. I decide to sit and do nose-plug reality check. I am sitting and my nose is weird, wet and slimy. I am shocked. But I also hear my husband breathe and I think: "This is not possible, I can't be asleep" and immediately, I am back lying, this time really awake.
I am mad and I think I got no sleep at all. Then I start remembering dreams from the last cycle - the FA and three other dreams.

In the next entry - finally a LD!

So I was in one of these pubs\taverns where alcoholists go usually... my friend was there and I told him to get out of there cuz its a toxic place , but he insisted on staying and drinking more
then some alcoholic said something to me ,interfering
and thats when I had enough...why even hide my thoughts from anyone, I should say what I think.... I hate all these people ,all useless recluses ..
I told him to fuck off , then everyone else started to look at me , and then I was like yeah actually All of you can fuck off
and flipped the finger at everyone , everyone erupted , and then I left the place.
I thought I'd be attacked but nothing happened...