Recent DJ Posts

06.01.2010

Practicing Control Over Objects (WBTB)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I can really only remember the bare bones of this one.

Me and a couple of friends were in a car on a beach. It was a very small beach, basically a cove, with cliffs all round it and only one steep, rocky road leading down to it. We were standing around the car talking. It was night time, and I wanted more light. I started fiddling with various buttons and knobs inside the car, trying to make a light or torch appear. I had it in my head that if I expected something to happen, it would. So I opened hatches expecting them to reveal tiny lights etc. It worked a little bit- sometimes I would get a tiny LED light, but when I tried to make it brighter by flicking other switches, it would go out. I eventually managed to transform part of the dashboard into a bizzare torch, which looked like a metal detector used by airport security. Unfortunately it was shit.

I had two or three false awakenings in my own house, where I tried opening doors with the expectation that a certain hot girl would be on the other side. I visualised her quite clearly, then swung open the door, only to find an insane creation of my unfocused mind. It was an old lady with really long arms and huge glasses, wearing a really weird robe. I slammed the door on her and had another FA.



This one was really confusing. I had real difficulty distinguishing the dream from reality. I even told this to my brother, who was walking around the kitchen. I looked at myself in a mirror from a distance and I looked basically normal, and I had to keep looking at my hand (which was truly fucked) to remind myself I was dreaming. When I first "woke up", I exhaled for about 30 seconds again, like the last dream. I tried to not breathe in at all after this happened, but decided that probably wasn't the best idea! There was a song playing in the background. I'm almost sure it was King Hell's cover of "Hungry Like the Wolf".

At a few points in the dream I heard things from the waking world which nearly woke me up, but I rubbed and clapped my hands a few times to keep myself internally focused.

05.01.2010

Espionage, then minor wandering. (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This was definitely my most successful WILD yet. I didn't get much sleep last night, so I went for an afternoon nap. I lay on my back with my arms by my sides, which is a really unnatural way for me to sleep, but I reckoned it was probably the best for dreamin'. After a very short time I got some serious SP and rolling sensations (for the 2nd time whoop!) and I ended up in an interesting dream.

I had unwittingly inserted myself into a vampire/werewolf story. I think this was brought on by watching Underworld the other day. I was a vampire, of course, and I was walking through a town centre with a couple of my vampire cronies and a werewolf, who had defected. (Apparently the vampires and werewolves were at war). I went along with the plot, which went on around me. It was night time, and the streets were very dark, apart from the orangey glow from some low streetlights. We were on our way to sneak into a werewolf meeting at a hotel. I could see the hotel coming up on the left. It had a distinctly more reddish glow than the rest of the area. The dude beside me said,
"I thought this place was closed this late on a Saturday?" and the werewolf replied,
"Not for us." Sure enough, there was light coming from the building, but only from one side door, which looked like the entrance to a very exclusive club. There were two huge bouncers outside in black suits. We paused at a set of benches out in the street to discuss our next move. The werewolf guy warned me that there would be a scanner inside, and that they were only letting in the most elite of werewolves.
"I'll probably be fine," I told him, with a dollop of arrogance. I left the others sitting on the benches, and walked confidently over to the door. It was only then I noticed I was wearing a very nice suit. I tugged the collar slightly as I walked straight between the bouncers. My swagger was so awesome they didn't even question me. Right inside, there was a thin corridor, only about 3 feet across. A couple of metres inside was a simple ID scanner, the kind they have in some airports, only without the face recognition part. There were two girls I know in front of me (I knew them to be vampires too at the time), and a female guard at the ID scanner. The two girls inserted their fake driver's lisences, and were rejected. A red light shone from above the scanner and a buzzer sounded. Instead of being chucked out, they were allowed to merely walk back outside. It was my turn. I reached in my pocket, and found my ID card I usually use. I reckoned it might work simply because it was actually a real ID, I hadn't bothered with a fake one like the girls before me. Although it did occur to me that they would realise I wasn't a werewolf and not let me in anyway. I inserted my card, but to my surprise, the light turned green and I heard a "ping!". I was in.


Not quite what I looked like as a vampire, but hey...

The female guard stepped aside and waved me onwards. The corridor opened up to normal size. It was very dark- I thought it might almost be so dark I'd lose my perception and wake up by accident, but I concentrated on the small lights shining up the walls at the celing and made them brighter, allowing me to see ok. On my left was a glass wall. On the other side, I could see a fancy restaurant, with all tables full. I reckoned that must be the werewolf meeting. On the other side of the corridor was an enormous elevator door. There were two pot plants on either side, and some people standing in front of it. I recognised one of them as my friend Sophie, who I hadn't seen in ages. I said hello enthusiastically and gave her a hug. My friend Pete was also there. I was pleased to see him too. The lift arrived and the doors opened. I was surprised at what I saw. The interior was about the size of my living room, and there were dozens of people sitting on settees and on the metal floor. It genuinely confused me, but I stepped on anyway. I sat down with Pete against the back of a setee. I caught the eye of a girl across the lift and smiled at her. I caught my reflection in the metal wall and noticed my vampire fangs.
"Shit," I thought. "Although I am really working these fangs!" I assumed I would now be mauled by the many werewolves around me, but no-one seemed to care. Instead, the girl smiled back, and I noticed she had fangs too. We crawled towards each other, cutting a path through the people sitting about, and she leapt on me. We got it on then and there, with at least 30 people watching. Good times.

I had a false awakening here. I "opened my eyes", and felt the dream zap away, and my vision of the vampire chick was sucked into the distance, replaced by the wall in my old bedroom. I thought,
"That was sweet!" and sighed. As I sighed, I let out a huge amount of air. I was exhaling for literally thirty seconds. During that time I took several small breaths, becuase I needed air. At the time I reasoned that I had been breathing so deeply while dreaming that my lungs had absorbed an excessive amount of air, which was just being released now. When I was finished, I got out of bed and walked towards the door, ready to go downstairs and see what everybody was up to in the real world. My left arm felt really strange, like it was pointing the wrong way or something, but I stretched and it seemed to fix itself. I reached for the door handle, and noticed that I felt a bit strange, like I wasn't quite sure if this was a dream or real life. My vision was a tiny bit fuzzy, and I thought this might be from just waking up, but I did the hand reality check anyway, and was astounded to see about seven fingers! I laughed to myself that I could be so stupid to have thought this was real- I was in my old house after all. As soon as I became lucid, I had a familiar feeling of being "trapped in the dream", which I only ever had once before, in my lucid nightmare where I kept having false awakenings. Waking up for real would've been fine, and a few seconds ago, I really thought I had. There was even a vague echo of The Twilight Zone music which tormented me last time. I resolved that I wasn't going to get into that mindset, and the music petered out. I was incredibly aware here. I was so switched on I found it hard to believe I could still be sleeping with my mind still at work. I walked over to the window. It was afternoon on a cloudy day. Climing through the bushes in my garden was some naked girl.
"Jackpot," I said, and punched the air. I opened the window, ready to climb out, but my three brothers came in. They were asking me something which I can't remember now, but everything seemed so real here that I had to do three reality checks in a row, just to make extra extra sure I was dreaming. I asked them who sent them, for some reason. The biggest brother replied,
"Christine." (she's my ex) I asked him,
"What, is she here?"
"Yeah, she's in the cupboard under the stairs," he said. I went downstairs to see if she was in fact hiding in my house, but there was no sign of her under the stairs. I went inside and hoked about a bit, but quickly became claustrophobic, so I left. I wandered into the living room, where we have a big mirror above the fireplace. I walked over, and saw my reflection. At first glance, it seemed basically normal with slightly longer hair. Then the title of a thread I had read on dreamviews earlier popped into my head. It was about looking in the mirror in dreams, and how something weird always happens. Right then, my reflected face distorted itself into a horrible, demonic visage. The skin darkened, the eyes went totally black, and my head grew horns. It laughed at me evily.
"Fuuuuck that," I said, and stared it out. The longer I stared the more benign and cartoon-ish it got, until the outlines of the main features looked very much like they were drawn by pencil. Satisfied, I turned away and went out into the hall.

About here I woke up. I was shocked to find that it had only been an hour exactly since I lay down in bed!

04.01.2010

Obstacle Course (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Me and a load of other people were being chased through an obstacle course by someone evil. (No idea who) I was behind a few people on a rope bridge, coming up to a wall which had a "rope net" draped over it. I kept telling them to hurry up, but they were intolerably slow. When we got to the rope wall, I pushed my way past those in front, and took a shortcut across the bottom.

The next stage was a very long slide. It was a tube going down in a spiral route, with a diameter of about 5m. There were dozens of other people sliding down as well. We weren't going very fast, and everyone was just lying back talking to each other. I noticed a girl I knew, who was slowly passing me. We had an interesting conversation which I now can't remember.

04.01.2010

Swooping and Swimming (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm not sure whether to say this was a DILD or non-lucid. I kind of knew it was a dream, and I did a lot of cool stuff, but I wouldn't say I was really I, if you know what I mean.

I was in my old house, in the early hours of the morning. It might have been around 4 or 5 am. Still dark anyway. I looked out my bedroom window to see that my dad was driving off. He went out the bottom of the driveway and took a right. I climbed out my window and jumped off the roof to fly after him. I had the same kind of flight ability as I usually have, which is like that of a paper aeroplane- mainly just a glide. I wasn't quite catching up, so I tried skating on the ground, which was icy. I had a good thing going, as I skate-glided behind my dad's car. I was feeling confident so I leapt up in the air. I soared about the height of four houses and got that familiar "shitI'mfalling" sensation in my stomach after reaching the peak. I landed farther up the road, behind a chain of cars driving ridiculously slowly. There were a few people walking along the footpath to my left, so I joined them. We walked for a good while, and every now and then I would swoop out onto the road and glide over a few cars. I found I could fly a lot better when the wind was coming from behind me. When it was against me, I made my arms into a streamlined shape in front of me and I could cut through it.

It was getting closer and closer to daylight as I glided along the road, and before I knew it, it was morning and I was at my old school. It had been turned into a leisure centre. I jumped onto the rear bumper of a car and rode in. I passed a fantastic swimming pool which had massive slides, a glass roof over half of it, and enormous brown statues down the other end. The next thing I knew, I was in the pool. I was floating on my back, looking up at the glass roof, and imagined it moving up and down. Then it did. I found I could make things happen around me with very little effort. Strangely, this was the part of the dream where I was the least lucid. The other people in the pool were getting annoyed at me. I told them it wasn't my fault, I couldn't help it, but they didn't listen and kept shouting at me. Becuase I was pissed now, I made a huge statue come to life and roar at them. Its head was hundreds of metres above the pool, staring down. I concentrated on it, it shook off a bit off dust, then its eyes glowed red. It stood up to its full height (it had been bending over looking down before) and roared. Next I made the entire swimming pool become a whirlpool, which I found great fun, but nobody else did. I let myself get sucked underwater and found I could breathe. There were bubbles swirling all round me, and I thought I might get pulled to the surface again which I didn't want. I liked the quiet underwater. I made myself heavier and my feet touched the bottom.


The rest, I can't remember very well, but I think I went into the changing rooms and got dressed.

03.01.2010

Playing Football for NI (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I dreamt that I had fallen asleep in Windsor Park, the Northern Ireland team's stadium. When I woke up, the players were walking out onto the pitch to start a match, and I went with them. The match started very quickly, and I had a moment of horror when I realised I was supposed to be the goalkeeper. The net was basically undefended, so I ran (awkwardly) towards it. On the way, the ball came to me, and I pulled off some incredible skill to take it around four players before passing it.

I finally got back to my net, pleased with my skilfulness. My skill is non-existent in real life. The ball kept getting blasted at me and I kept saving it with ease. The other team decided to bring on some distractions for me, in the form of naked cheerleaders. They were two girls I know, and they started dancing at the sides of my net, trying to catch my eye. In the end I thought "Screw the match", and exited with them.

30.12.2009

Beach and Swimming Pool (DEILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This one made quite a lot of sense at the time.

I was on a steep beach with my brother. The sand was golden yellow, and the waves were tiny. It was a very sunny day, and from what I could tell, the beach was packed. I started crawling up towards a small grey wall at the top, and a tiny wave washed past me. When it receeded, a lime green lobster was left sitting in front of me. It looked like a toy. I stared at it for a bit, and it soon scuttled off. I got to the grey wall, and found a swimming pool on the other side. My brother ran and jumped into it. I watched him closely, because I'm pretty sure he can't swim in real life. I quickly decided I was wasting my time since I was only dreaming, he'd be fine.

The rest is foggy, but I went inside a building and down hundreds of flights of stairs where I got to a basement full of big crab-like monsters.

---

I walk into a large, open doctor's office with my mother, dressed in a heavy green dress which makes it almost impossible to walk normally. I'm dressed as and acting like a woman, though I know I am a man. I can feel people's eyes or me, but I'm used to it. I have arrived for some sort of surgery that will make me feel more "normal" than I do right now.

The female doctor walks off with a shopping cart and my mother walks off in another direction. I follow the doctor, who is now walking down a grocery store style aisle collecting the items she will need to perform the procedure. As I follow, I pass a woman who deliberately brushes against my stomach with her hand. This confuses me somewhat. I then part ways with the doctor walk to a tunnel-like structure where I notice my youngest brother of about ten perched. He is being reprimanded by a teacher figure for refusing to behave. I continue to walk on where I notice my mother going up and extremely steep escalator, waving casually to me like we will see each other again in ten minutes or so.

I continue to walk around the now high school-sized doctor's office where I come across and large line of soon-to-be students waiting in line for something. There must be five hundred of them. However, I know why I am here and it is not to wait in line for whatever it is they're waiting for. I move on.

I am now in the same doctor's office, though at an extension that reminds me of The Museum of Science I've visited as a child several times before. I notice there is are multiple groups of children from different elementary/middle schools touring like I had some years before. I recognize one of the teachers as a lively, older man with crazy white hair and glasses. Still, I continue on noticing a friend of mine walking away from a booth where Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips is handing out free t-shirts and CDs with several other people I don't recognize.

I walk over to notice he as aged much more than I expected. Another volunteer asks me about my favorite movie. I explain to him that I've been asked this question before by my father, thought about it, but simply cannot remember which one I chose. There are just too many to choose just one. He decides to give me what I came there for anyways. I thank him and go on my way.

---

I was in some military camp, and I got to some tent and saw man reading BUG Magazine. I heard some main said the he will tell them something, altrought I didn't know to who and what he will say, but eh... I found myself reading the magazine and I was reading some article about Tekken game. I suddenly found myself in my town. I was trying to read the but it was too dark. Suddenly the blue blast appeared in front of building where I was standing. It jammed all electrical devices. I tried to call someone but mobile phone wasn't working. I asked my friend is his phone working. It wasn't. I suddenly found myself in front of my friends house with some girl whos phone wasn't working. I told her what happened.

Some girl was driving and helicopter and I wanted to do it too. I get in the helicopter and started driving it. I had a mini-map just like in the games. I missed out my destination on went into another scene. I was with helicopter beyond some strange mountains. I looked at map and noticed that I need to go to some mall. I didn't succeed.

two nights ago I went out all night and took molly. Before that I took a lot of salvia. I had a massive REM rebound this morning and had a dream that lasted all night. I woke up around 6 or 7 times throughout this whole adventure, but laid in bed and thought about the previous dream until I fell asleep and went back into it. I never wrote any of this down because I was extra tired from the lack of sleep the night before, but the fact that I would think about the dream so much until I fell asleep made them all link together. A lot of this dream was forgotten



It started out with me in a foreign landscape. We are walking through a maze. I am aware that this is some sort of game that I need to get through. Kara is with me and we are walking through a maze. We go through some portal and enter a restaurant. There is a gym attached to this restaurant and to the left people are working out. I notice a cute girl on a machine giving me a look. I am with Kara so I try to not flirt back. There is also an Asian girl giving me a look. She was wearing a black dress. We were all talking about random things until a couple of us had to go to the bathroom. Somehow I ended up in the bathroom with the Asian and she had to go to the bathroom. I told her to go in front of me and she pretended to. I whipped my dick out and started to make her touch it. She got angry and left the bathroom. I was a little worried that she would tell Kara. I went out and started talking shit about her and they all started to hate her. She said she was going to tell the manager and I laughed because I was good friends with him and knew he would fire her if I asked.

I left the place with Kara and continued the path.We went up to some control tower and pressed a button to open a large gate. This place with filled with deformed ninjas that had treasure. This was a weird kind of treasure and I knew that if I took some they would find out and attack me. I ran up their some ladder to a shack with the treasure. I took all of it and suddenly five of them appeared. I started running with Kara and Adam my brother called me and said he was waiting at the gate. We found Adam and I suddenly knew I was dreaming. I took one of the treasures and multiplied it into three sharp pieces of material. I threw three of them in the air and they sniped their way into the hearts of the ninjas. Adam told me that playing video games on the computer was much cooler than lucid dreaming. I said he was stupid and that he should stop being so lazy in life. We ended up at on a high speed chase to my house and went inside.

I went into the garage to find my mom and my neighbor trying to fix our broken garage. I spent some time trying to help him fix the garage. A random cute woman came into the garage and said that she had great replacements for light bulbs. The light bulbs were filled with weed and god food. I thanked her. I ended up running three houses down and asking her if I could have some more. I told her I wanted to see her again and she was giving me her cell phone number when her dad came out of the house. She whispered that she would call my house phone. I went back home and went upstairs to replace my light bulbs in my room. My mom started yelling my name and I did a rc. Wohoo! I am dreaming. I did a little flip down the stairs and into the living room. There was a scary evil guy near the garage door and I jumped in the air, summoned a dagger, and stabbed him in the heart. He disappeared and I started telling my brother that he could never do this in his games. I forgot what else I did because I did not write down the lucid and ended up continuing the same dream.

Laying in bed I heard my mother call my name again. I was pissed that she woke me up from my lucid. I went downstairs and she told me that I had to go to work. I went down to work and asked the manager if I could somehow work early after having a good chat with him. He said I could help clean the place up. The restaurant is still not open, but half of it was up for testing. The rest had to be cleaned. I started cleaning the place with some fat guy. We ended up having to take three wolves from the garage into the woods. I took a giant hammer and started lightly hitting them on the heads. Just enough to make them pass out and for us to take them into the woods.

(I should have written these down earlier today... Now I have forgotten most of them)

First:
I have vague memories of my brother Jimmy being angry as hell. I think it was at my parents place, but I am not sure. The Austrians were visiting and we were going to Stockholm. We talked about flying airplanes and I said that I have never gone anywhere with an airplane before (in real life I have traveled by air one time when I was 4). After further discussion I came to the conclusion that I had actually done it once before but for some strange reason I had no memories of it. I didn't think much about it.

-memory gap-

Something about herbs used for cooking. That it is much more efficient to gather fresh herbs by yourself in the forest than to buy them. Therefor we had to go to my grandpa who lives in fjällen becuase apparently they had herbs in abundance. Then I was walking in a forest there and saw wood sorrel on the ground. It wasn't really what I was after though so I didn't gather it. I was looking for parsley and oregano but found none.

Second:
There was a race held at the uni in Umeå and I was attending along with some random people from the cognitive science program I attended IRL some year ago. The race started at the pond and continued along the road next to the lärarutbildningshus. I ran along the race track and after a while it led into a house. I think it was a store or something. Now Jimmy was there and it was if as the race didn't exist at all. Jimmy was following me around.

I opened a door that led down to the basement. It was an extremely narrow stairway so you almost had to squeeze yourself down. I started to go down and Jimmy followed. There was a lot of cobwebs on the walls. They were very detailed and I could see small dead insects, web structures and spiders. Most was small and I wasn't bothered by them. I knew that Jimmy didn't like spiders so I warned him about them and said that he should crouch to avoid them. He failed to avoid the last web and it got stuck on his chest without him noticing. I saw that it contained a very large spider (~4cm diameter). I told him about it and he tried to shove it off. It fell on the floor and the spider got squashed. Another spider appeared from the damaged web and approached me. I got disgusted and tried to shove it away but the web was sticky and it partly stuck on my fingers. It felt very repulsive.

I don't know how the spider episode ended but me and Jimmy entered another room and it was decorated with very old furniture. We approached a child bed that we thought was very typical of the old furniture style. It didn't really look like a bed, it was more like a strange cloth tube. It lead to another room and I think we were going to enter it through the bed.

06.07.2010

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

It began on muddy waters of an ocean (no idea why the ocean was muddy) with two giant engine-propelled rafts moving while facing each other and keeping a consistent distance apart. Each raft had four players. one was a driver, another a turret gunner and two near the back a rifleman, possible Master Chief from Halo, and an RPG holder. I was the latter in the back right corner where the rocky shore was close to my right flank. I recall running up and popping off rockets that killed a lot of my opponents. I only had three shots though and ran for whatever little cover I could find when the opponent RPG holder lobbed rockets towards us. I recall getting slain.

Later that afternoon on the beach I came before a five-story Japanese style building on the shoreline with dozens of docks branching out from it in all directions. Turns out it was a research center. My two younger cousins were running around inside as it was their birthday. Stumbling upon their presents all on a giant table I find my mom there and try opening one of the small black boxes. Surprisingly she doesn't get mad at this.

Later I run into a very old looking man with decaying teeth and only some hair remaining. He recognizes me in amazement yet I do not. I pick my brain and realize he was a teacher a few years ago. He asks how I still looked so incredibly young to which I respond I'm the son of the student he remembers. He does not question further and neither do I seem to question the reason I've (or he has) apparently leapt ahead in time. He takes me down a set of stairs into his secret laboratory that's really just a bright white carpeted area with a hot tub installed and a bunch of workers chatting around said tub. There was even a sink in the corner with a Dexter's Laboratory toy and a sliding glass door where you could look out upon the ocean.

Leaving, I end the dream walking along the planks over the sand where the place is now bustling with thousands of young adults. They're all talking about how today was the last day of school. Some students mistake me as one who'll join them on some field trip. I feel kind of bad that I can't share their happiness but shrug it off.

06.25.2010

Spitting (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

My pal Jochen and me sat on a balcony of an apartment house. We didn't do anything but spitting down on to the yard.

Dreams recalled: 8

Another night with lots of dreams, none of them lucid.

I was at some school I had never been to, but people I knew were there. Turned into a couple of the later dreams

My friends fiance came up to me telling me that he needed me to go with my friend to something, because she couldn't do it without me there(??) I kept thinking, you're her effing fiance... and your asking another guy to help her!? Thats your job be a man...

Another dream in the school I had mysteriously lost my pants... I got out as quickly as possible and was suddenly down the street from my house. (I think I took the bus??) Except now instead of just my pants being gone, I was completely naked. I took off running towards my house, trying to cover myself as best I could, and tried going behind some buildings. The dream ended before I could get home.

I went to what I thought was a shooting range. I was outside the building and lots of people were trying to sign up to shoot so I thought I would too. There was a list of the different guns you could shoot, but you needed some kind of license to do all of them except a pistol. I had to go with that lol.

The dream ended but picked up again later. This time I was walking through some buildings to find the shooting range, but instead found some sort of huge event where people were playing a bunch of really big games. I walked all the way to the end of a strangely long building, but just more games.

I was trying to leave a parking lot, but it had been flooded. People tried driving over other cars in big trucks, but didnt get far. The water level was then right at the tops of cars, and I started to slide across them somehow and made it quite a ways before it stopped working. I started talking to people about what to do and the dream ended.

Talking to my bosses wife at work, she told me some bad things about myself, and I realized in the dream my ex gf had told her stuff. She also told me something about how I'm prone to getting arrested. The dream me had been arrested a few times I guess, but my response was: but I have zero convictions, though. I've just made some bad decisions. (LOL)

The last dream was lengthy and weird. I was with a friend, who's dating another friend IRL. We were talking about something in a second story room of a building, and the dream almost turned sexual as she was topless suddenly, and things started to happen. It randomly changed back to normal and a weird game of hide and seek started. It was night time and I jumped off the balcony to the ground. There was a strange square hole for some kind of water system or something with equipment running down it but the bottom was black, it felt endless. It was about 5x5 feet and I climbed in anyways, just barely getting below ground level clutching to random ledges and pipes. I think she found me but I dont remember. I was suddenly back on the balcony, which was more like a walkway because it wrapped all the way around the building. I was 'hiding' again, and one of my managers from work was below me looking for me this time. Very weird, but funny.

Tried Hargarts FILD method for the second time, still no success.

[I]this was a long ass dream, but I only remember frags[/I]

NOTES

In many houses, on a river...

waiting for a boat.

Leaving my house, going to another

A strange "mother" presence is shadowing me

I put on a green parka to disguise myself
like one she used to wear