I had this dream the night of 1/28/12. I am on a ship. Military personnel all around me. We are arriving somewhere. I get the feeling that I have reached my destination. Somehow, I know I am part of the crew. I am recently signed on. I am telling someone this. The ship docks. The metal is cold. Wet. Army green. We step out onto a dock. The cement slabs are cold. Wet. There is mist in the air. I cannot see beyond the dock. There is nowhere to go but the dock or back to the ship. There are workers milling at the end of the way. They look solemn. I know I must go down there. My assignment awaits me. To the right, there are large containers in the ground. Square. Maybe 10x10 in size and at least 10 feet deep. To the left there is a shed. More of a shack. Wooden. There are plastic drapes covering the entrance. The shack is set on a slab of concrete, maybe 3 feet off the ground. I see people putting on gloves. I smell a stench. A powerful perfume. Slightly sweet, yet incredibly putrid. I know this smell. It is the smell of death. As I near the containers, I see dark, red jelly inside. Workers are climbing down into the vats-- covered in the gelatounous goop. One young man with glasses starts to gag as he reaches into the material. A younger, gruff woman stands next to me. I know she is the 'boss' of sorts. I will be working with her today. She is barking out orders. She is handing out plastic bags. Body bags. She indicates I can either fish through the remains vat or inventory the bodies. The second vat (closest to me) has piles of bodies mixed with the jelly. Smeared in the cold, crimson slime. I hold my breath and know this is my fate. This is what I will do. I help her fish a body out. I avoid having to go into the tank. It is a young woman. We wipe off the bloody mess on her body and lay her out on the body sheet. I start to inventory her things- she is wearing a white shirt, brown pants. No shoes. Her body is swollen. Her face is blue. Her skin is cold and her body has long since stiffened. I try to mentally turn my mind off- just do my job. I try not to vomit. After we inventory some bodies, I walk over to the 'parts' tank. Its just bits and pieces of human remains. We have to inventory them too. I pull out an eyeball. As I do so, someone in the tank falls and I get blood and organs splattered up onto my face. There is a piece of flesh clinging to hair on my forehead. I try to wipe my face and my sleeve gets covered in the dark jelly. I try not to think about it. I walk the eyeball over to the shack and throw it into one of the boxes. I check off the item. I am bewildered. I do not want to be here. What have I done to be in this horrible place? I reach back into the vat of body parts. I pull out a bracelet-- it comes off what little flesh is left on a bone. I wipe off the blood and tissue and try to discern what the bracelent means. It is a metal badge with a strange symbol on a leather strap. I bring it to my 'boss'. She says just to inventory it. I am so disgusted. So horrified. My mind cannot fathom what I am doing. These bodies. Piles of them. The cold, red gelatin in the tanks. Where are these bodies coming from? Why are we stockpiling them? What am I doing here?
I've tried to lucid dream without supplements, but it just doesn't happen. I noticed that the Benzodiazepine medication I took for occasional insomnia had the interesting side effect of vivid and / or lucid dreams, but not reliably. And sometimes the dreams would occur the night after the medication. I tried Yuschak's recommendations from his book, but the galantamine is so stimulating I couldn't fall asleep again after taking it. But the following has worked several times now. This morning (1/30/2012) at 2:00 am: 500 mg Choline, 600 mg Alpha-GPC and 8 mg Galantamine. I lay in bed and meditated. The combination has the effect for me of promoting very deep states of meditative adsorption, which is interesting in itself. around 3:30 I took 1/4 mg Xanax (generic Alprazolam.) Eventually I did fall asleep and managed to stay asleep after attaining lucidity. I was active, making decisions, talking to dream characters and making requests. It was great!
Got another lucid this time! Short, but interesting. I got a little more abstract with my control of it, too. Other than that, a couple other interesting dreams as well. Not a bad night. #1 - Fucking Hornets I'm making some kind of video game with a lot of old friends (and a couple current), a guy I haven't seen since high school, and OpheliaBlue. Ophelia and the guy from high school are talking about adding some cinematic to the beginning of the game, so after we discuss how that would fit best they go off to start working on it. My friend O, still my current theory for who my dream guide is, starts talking about how we're going to do the opening credits, and he shows us what he has so far. I don't remember what they were, but I remember that they were pretty funny. But J gets all bitchy about the font size being too small, even though O hadn't actually tried to set it to what it would be in the game, he was just showing us the text. :T Oh yeah, also, we were doing all of this discussion in my bathroom, in front of the mirror lol. Possibly using the mirror as a screen to project things on, now that I think about it...? But anyway, J was standing kind of behind me, so when I turned around to listen to him talk I noticed that there was a gigantic map of the world behind him, one that was clearly not visible in the mirror. As he's talking, he pulls out a much smaller, handheld-sized, map and starts talking about some "red bee therapy" (which I take to mean red hornets) then comes and stands right behind me to try it out and says their are a bunch of the red hornets right behind the map, which he's holding up to my back. Hornets. Now, for those of you who don't know, I hate bugs. They're... soooo nasty. >_< But hornets especially, they're like my least favorite bug there is. So I'm freaked out at this point. I look down at the counter and see a pair of scissors, which I quickly grab, and say "J, get those things away from me right now, I'm not even kidding, I will fucking stab you." He backs off, but one of the hornets gets left behind my back (somehow... ) and I reach back there and feel it. I feel a sting and start running around freaking out, and I grab it and squeeze it to death, something I'd never do in real life but I was desperate , and I threw it down on a table and saw it dead, but then it CAME. BACK. TO LIFE. It's comically large and red with black stripes, and I grab a tissue box and start smashing it but even though it keeps getting nastier it never dies, and it's so gross it makes me feel like I have to puke, and I'm shaking. Then I woke up. Thank god. #2 - Fickle Emotions I'm in high school in an English class that I never actually had, but it's boring so I leave to go find a different class, then pay that teacher $100 (two separate payments of $50) to let me be in her class instead. She shakes my hand and says "A gentlemens' agreement!" (More How I Met Your Mother references from my subconscious. ) But, she turns out to be a hard ass to the point that the other kids in the class are "troubled", like there's a guy not far from me to the right smoking weed in the middle of class, and the girl I sat down next to on my left is single and pregnant (but not visibly). However I learn through the course of the class that she's actually just a really nice girl and pretty cool, and I develop a little bit of a crush on her. I start messing with the teacher to make her laugh, and we end up getting along really well and she's even starting to act like she has a bit of a crush on me too, and it's so obvious that some of the guys in the class are visibly jealous. Somewhere down the line the teacher turns into my old Chinese class teacher and someone says something about him which gets me distracted, after which the girl just never shows up or is even thought about again. Class is over so I get up and walk around the hallways which turn into an enormous and clearly very expensive and high-end mall, and I'm trying to find my locker but it's too hard to navigate, I even pass through a jail cell on the way. I woke up after I found my way out of that lol. #3 - Third-Person Control O and I went to a head shop or something, and we saw someone getting arrested in the parking lot, so we quickly got in my car and drove off. While I'm driving, I notice that the accelerator keeps getting stuck, so I'm slamming the breaks to make the car slow down, but eventually it just goes faster and faster and faster until the car pulls up off the ground and we blast into the sky. But I became lucid at this point! I started steering us around the city, as we were in a downtown area with lots of tall buildings so it was fun just zooming around in our rocket car. Before too long I notice that my vision is steadily narrowing down to a very small area and I'm afraid that the dream is going to end if it gets all the way down to a dot, so I consciously switch it to third-person perspective control, which still feels like first-person. (Kind of hard to explain.) It worked for a little bit, though! My full view of the city was restored, and I could see that the car actually had turned into a plane. I start flying off to the side of my vision so that my camera angle moves over and we transition from the city to a mountain range, and the sky starts turning dark blue, so in order to keep the dream changing (rather than ending) I kept up. I had the mountains be just dunes in the background with the sky being underwater, and I transformed the plane into a fish, and I just swam around in the water a little bit, but then I finally woke up. :/ Oh well, it was fun! So that's it for this entry. I'm definitely happy with the number of lucids I'm getting lately, even if they're brief.
I was going to try this last night, but it didn't work. I don't know if I'm just not compatible with the technique or if my girlfriend calling me in the middle of the night messed it up, so I'll try again tonight. Anyway, about my dreams... I don't remember them much. I know they were all related to zombies/people trying to kill me/me having to hide. There was something a bit Metro 2033 (here) about them. I remember running a lot, I remember arguing with my girlfriend and a friend of ours, I remember running away from them and hiding in a store. In fact, I feel like I ran throughout all of my dreams last night. Not exactly a peaceful night for me. Damn. Well, I might take a nap later, so... who knows, I could get lucky and have a lucid dream... or at least remember what I dreamt of.
FA Dream Within A Dream I dreamed I had awakened from a dream with pictures of that dream. The pictures had me in them, but I was missing my head. I thought it had something to do with forgetting part of my dream. I tried to remember the dream hoping that my head would appear if I could remember it. One of the pictures had an orange and white harlequin pattern which wasn't there before. I thought maybe I just hadn't noticed the pattern before, but then another picture had the same pattern behind me. I realized that I was dreaming the pattern into the background of the pictures from the dream I had falsely awakened from.
Madness guides seem to be a good term for them, even if the word was never mentioned... ___ I am in a dark courtyard, there is a fence around the edge. There are 5 stone statues around a central node, arranged like this: 1OO5 .2O4 ...3 This song is playing: Specifically the part where the vocals come in The statues depict what I described in the dream as demons, I am to choose one. I study their energy and find my attention pulled strongly to #2, and less strongly to #5. I walk up to statue #2. (Etna) This is basically what I see, she had a less revealing outfit on than appears in the Disgaea games, and her tongue wasn't sticking out... come to think of it, she was taller... so maybe it was just the succubus? I glance at #5, a woman with bunny ears... I choose #2, and begin waking up. I see #2 sitting at a table, with a manly chin, manly stubble, a manly body, eating a manly sandwich before I fully awake. (Lol) I wake up and ponder what just happened to me, I eventually think of the term Madness Guide... well I can always use another guide, so I'll take it.
Good morning, everybody. Sorry I haven't been around in a while. My waking life kind of toppled over for a bit. But I think I'm getting back to normal. Dream #1 I was talking with my psychiatrist. She looked kind of weird, like her eyes were close together and really tiny, but wide open, like she was shocked. Her hair was also very pale, almost dirty blonde. I was telling my psychiatrist about some experience I'd had, which had seemed to me to be bilocation. I may have remembered something about one version of myself standing near a missile that lay on the ground, while the other version of myself was somewhere else. My psychiatrist told me that she remembered the events surrounding the date on which I'd had this experience. She said that we had been making good progress in our sessions. She said that on that particular day, she'd touched on something sensitive in my life. So, my psychiatrist said, it was pretty natural that I'd have some kind of weird experience. It was a reaction, a resistance, against the sensitived issue that my psychiatrist had brought up. I'd probably also felt like my experience was bilocation for a reason -- something to do with the sensitive issue.
I'm flying while holding my wife. It's a bit of a struggle but then I'm given a small metallic device that allows us to fly effortlessly, as if in a lucid dream. I'm with some friends and we see a car, a dark colored SUV, hurtling through the sky about a hundred feet above us. We know it's going to crash, and it does, on Interstate 10 in Arizona.
Ok so this was a really short dream. I remember telling my dad who was in the living room to watch a music video (I forget the name though). I walked into the kitchen for no particular reason. I walked pass the living room and I ask him if he liked the music video. He said It was good and that i should watch the new video by Drive Shaft (witch is a fake band from the TV show Lost). He then told me to read the words that show up at the beginning because the lead singer thought he was being abducted by aliens. I was walking up to my room when my alarm clock went off so i never got to see the video. This dream made no sense at all.
I haven't remembered my dreams for a couple of nights, I've been kind of tired and probably a bit ill. I didn't think it worth the trouble to report every time I don't remember anything. Tonight I had at least one rather clear dream that I do remember, though. It didn't really take any effort to remember it, so I think effort is not what I'm missing. Maybe it was the cold... I'm hiking on a hill or a small mountain and there is a castle, or maybe a fort, on top of it. On my side of the castle there is just a wall, but on the far side there is a small tower. I'd like to get a good picture of the castle but there are trees blocking the view. My brother is there and I guess he says to go around to the right side, a bit of the path. he also tells me I need to overcome my ego-defending self. I walk along the right side of the castle repeating as a mantra the part about the ego-defending self, and keep an eye out for a good place to take the picture. I would like to walk around the castle but when I get to the end of the castle, the wall continues as the wall of a modern apartment building. Clearly the castle has been extended lately. There is a picket fence surrounding the yard of the first floor apartments, and I need to go around. Around the fence, on my path, there are three hog-like creatures, two adults and a piglet. I'm a bit scared but they don't seem very menacing. Then I notice a large cat-like creature, something between a large lynx and a huge cat. I think it might have been hunting the pigs. It approaches and I kick it. Not very hard, I'm not sure what it wants but I don't want it close. I'm wearing my hiking boots so it probably would hurt to be kicked by them. It's a bit startled, but decides to approach again. I interpret the approach as an attack, again, and kick it again. It runs around me and disappears. I look at the pigs and the look at me.
this was and experience i cant even begin to explain how real it was. but i wasn't expecting to have one or perhaps prepared would be the best word. i just started with me turning off the tv i was in the middle of Avatar and my daughter was having a hard time going to sleep cause she was wanting to figit and play around other than watch the movie. So shut the tv off and it probably only took me 10 mins to dose away. (Dream) I was in a house more specific a kitchen and thats when it hit me "i finally did it" i am dreaming! i was excited. the first thing i did was levitate then sway side to side but i kept losing control of the dream and what was going on around me. The next thing i new after that was there were people in the house and we were all talking i cant remember now what we were talking about but it seemed important. then all of a sudden i remember sliding down a long alley backwards in a car trying to break because there was an drop of at the end of this alley that seemed as big as a canyon. this happened twice in the dream. then i was back at the house again. i was scared at this point i remember i was wanting to wake up and i couldnt but then it changed again then i was around this beautiful girl that wanted to have sex then all of a sudden i was in control again cause i made another girl appear to and the both wanted to have some fun with me. ( I made the 2 one come) lol but we didnt seem to mess around for but a few seconds before i was back at the house again. i remember hearing audibles but i wasnt able to make them out. It started to get dark (scary) at this point with the audibles and not being in control i was scared for some reason. ( There was more i know but i cant recall them ) Once again i was in control again so i decided i just wanted to wake up since i was scared so i laid down on a couch in the house/kitchen and closed my eyes. i then woke up and thought i was awake but i then realized i was that the place i was in wasnt familiar (Cant Remember where) and this is when i started to feel at real unease. From, there i jumped to me walking around a supermarket that was completley empty other than random people walking around and my brother on my dads side. there where no products or anything on the shelves that were there, Then, as i was walking around my brother joined my side and i was once out of control again we entered this long corridor with a big fan at the end on the right and blood splatters all over the walls and people were walking into the fan including my brother witch was the only one i actually seen walk into it and be sliced up with his insides hitting the floor and wall. At this time i was unwilling moving down the corridor i pass the fan on the right which has my brothers remains showing all over and thats when i looked up and saw the end of the corridor and it was black and for some reason i knew that this was going to be the way to wake up from this nightmare and as soon as i entered it i openrd my eyes real fast and closed them and opened them again a few seconds later and realized that i was awake. glad it was over but amazed at how real and weird the experience was ( and fun a points)
Actually, last night was one of the most frustrating nights there is. The kind of night where I am absolutely certain I dreamed, but every time I tried to grab hold of a thread of memory it just slipped further away. I feel like the donkey that is following the carrot on a stick. I know the memory is there, I just can't quite reach it!
Today I didn't recall any dreams at all. Woke up once to pee, but didn't hear my alarm clock at 3 AM. Didn't hear my alarm clock at 8:30 either.
I have surpassed my recall streak. I've recalled something on 29 days straight. Yay me. To be honest, I guess that's pretty pathetic record for someone in this for over three years. But it is what it is, and I gotta be happy and keep extending it. For LDs the barren streak still extends to 43 days. I've had over two months without a lucid, so it's not record, but with this decent recall I'd expect better from myself. In terms of my past dreams we are going to October 2009. I guess I had already peaked after the first excitement of the 9 months prior and started to coast a bit, so my results were going down. Still, I had more success than now. Non-lucid this time though. Everybody Knows You're Lost Date: October 2nd, 2008 Lucid: No I was at my home, in the living room. I was just chilling out before the windows started moving. It was really odd. I ended up looking outside the window and following some girls with my eyes. Then the dream transitioned so that I was now looking outside a bus' window to those same girls. Then I transitioned again, this time in the front of the small bus, alongside the driver who I knew. We started a conversation about cars. I: "They don't make good cars any more" Him: "What do you mean?" I: "Well you know... For example, they don't start in the winter etc." Him: "Oh yeah..." I: "And all those microchips etc. so there's so many places that can fail." Him: "Yeah but if they're not in use then it isn't a problem." Surprisingly sane conversation. He, I mean the driver, was really hitting the throttle despite the fact that the bus was now in some kind of city centre. He said that he drove 100 km/h and I looked at the speedometer and it confirmed that. Pretty insane guy. There was some hill where the I felt the speed in my stomach. The driver steered into some parking hall, still at least a hundred in speedometer and then just stopped like he hit the wall - despite not hitting one. All the other people got off the bus like nothing had happened. There was my old PE teacher and the other people went along with him. I started wondering what the hell I was doing in this bus anyway. I didn't reach conclusion, instead I just decided that going along with him wasn't it. I guess the bus wasn't going anywhere any more, as I went outside. By now the surroundings had changed and it seemed like some kind of construction site. My brother / my friend Henri emerged from somewhere - it seemed to change from moment to moment, which one it was. I didn't have any idea, where I was, but I didn't want to admit that to my brother / Henri. There was some... what do you call those spots where's map of the city on a big board? Anyway, there was one of those and I walked up to it to figure out where I was, only to be disappointed. There wasn't any map, just an empty space. All the sudden clown popped out of somewhere. A fuckin' clown! Well, I wasn't stingy about whom I ask for direction, as long as Henri / my brother won't know I am lost. So I walked up to the clown to ask for directions. Henri came behind me and asked: "LOL, is that your superior ?" (as in a job) "No", I stuttered, "I was just about to kick him in the nuts." It was weird line to say, I guess I was trying to be funny. We have a weird sense of humor, but that's just messed up thing to say. Anyway, you don't fuck around with clowns as he first kicked my ankle and then smashed his fist right in my face. I was down for the count and my brother / Henri walked me far from the clown. It seemed like every time when the other side was nice, it was my brother, and every time he was mean, it was Henri. Makes sense. I wanted to get back at the clown. Partly to revenge, partly to explain that it was just a joke and that I wasn't really going to kick him, and partly to finally ask him directions. Jesus Christ, just admit you're lost, haven't you endured enough trouble already? I was also thinking about pressing charges against the clown, as he had just beaten me up without me doing anything. My brother managed to talk me out of going at the clown again. All the sudden we turned right next to my former school. I figured I was in the place I was looking for, so I forgot about the clown and didn't care to meet him again. My brother thought that I finally came to my senses and realized that I couldn't beat the clown. Then the dream transitioned again and this time I was at my home again. My mom asked me whether I reached anyone. I guess I was to meet some people in the school, or something like that. Then the dream ended.
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