Recent DJ Posts

Morning of August 20, 2018. Monday.

Reading time: 53 sec. Readability score: 74.



I am closer to the liminal space of the waking process, but there are no threads of lucidity. My clueless infra-self is in bed at our present address.

Threads of my conscious self do not make much effort to create detail. I see only an expanse of floorboards, implying a much larger area beyond our bed than exists in reality.

Vague ideas about dogs and how they represent control of the dream state occur. (Again, I am not lucid, so this is infra-control.) A black dog’s head pushes up through the floorboards and moves left to right almost as if it is swimming like a person (as the other floorboards make way for it). I only ever see its front half. After a time, it becomes an unfamiliar man, seen from the chest up, who begins reading cheerful poetry from a small book he is holding.

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In real life, neighbors’ dogs sometimes used to run under our house and bump their heads against the bottoms of the floorboards (though now we have a fence across all areas). One of our cats was making noise under the house recently as well. The concept of reading (though usually regarding me trying to read) is an attempt to achieve more awareness while in the dream state. It is something I have practiced since early childhood.

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Aug 21 2018

I went to sleep around 11:45 or 12. As I was falling asleep, I performed the Progressive Relaxation technique mentioned in LaBerge's ETWOLD. During the relaxation, I continuously repeated to myself that whenever I saw either of my parents or my fiance, I would do an RC and question whether I was dreaming or not (one of them almost always show up at some point).* I enforced this by looking over at my fiance and doing reality checks. (I've always been aware that they are dream signs but this is the first time I've tried to use them to trigger RCs).

I eventually dozed off and had a few NLs that I can't remember now. I should have written them down when I woke up at 4:15 as I could still remember fragments then, but I was in shock when I awoke. My entire body was numb! I've never actually experienced waking up into SP and/or REM Atonia, only trying to induce it on myself, which never really worked.

It was amazing! I was completely calm and relaxed. Even as my dog was rearranging himself next to me and putting his paws in my side, it didn't phase me or make me any more awake. It was a state of disconnection with my body, all except gentle, almost imperceptible vibrations.

I've been reading up about visualization and imagining all 5 senses after reading arby's VILD and visualization posts. During the day yesterday, I was practicing moving my "dream arm" while my real arm remained still, and also noting how my entire body felt while walking, standing, leaning on something, sitting, etc. So naturally when I found myself in this state I did the same. The sensations were remarkably accurate! I could visualize myself standing in another room and feel all the sensations of my body being there. This alone was amazing.

I also tried to use this state and convert it into a WILD** or SSILD-then-fall-asleep, but oddly I couldn't get "relaxed enough" to fall back asleep -- my breathing was very shallow and I had to strain to take deep breaths, which pulled me out of the state momentarily (although I returned quickly each time). So I sat in this state for probably an hour or two and just enjoyed it. Eventually I fell asleep into an FA that I couldn't catch and convert (those pesky buggers!) and another NL that I do remember.

The strange thing about my NL was that it was as if my brain was actively fighting me -- now that I had identified my parents and fiance as dream signs and was using them for MILD and RCs, it removed them from all my dreams and placed in people from work that never pop up in my dreams! Strange.

Overall a weird but positive experience!

*Does this count as MILD? I'm trying to figure out how exactly to differentiate MILD from other similar techniques and it seems kind of vague. Is it just setting your intentions and/or having a mantra as you go to sleep?

**edit: Looking back in my DJ, I actually did almost WILD two or three times but got pulled back each time, back into the state. I think it helped me to identify what the feeling is like though, as it was closer than I've ever been before!

72/ Babysitting in a haunted house. Finally saw the ghost's reflection in a mirror, a little kid shadow running down the hall.

73/ In school. Ewan McGregor was our teacher, though dressed in a nerdy disguise.

74/ A sideways storm swept over the area. Clouds were greenish. I was fascinated by it while everyone else (the smarter ones) were afraid and ran for cover.

75/ Motorbiking on a mountain road. It was all snow and sunshine, rainbows reflected off the snow. Was enveloped into the colors of a rainbow and felt at peace. Never wanted to leave.

Chased

I was at a welcome-party were all my old classmates were. I knew who they were but they didn’t know me. I realized it was before we met... they thought that I was being weird and scary since I knew all kinds of things about them that I couldn’t possible have known.

I was calling my dad but he didn’t answer the phone. I wanted someone to pick me up but no one did. It was so frustrating and stressful. It felt like if no one would come... I would end up being in deep shit. I was soon chased by guards from this welcome-party and fell and hit my head. I woke up in a strange place what looked like an reception. The receptionist wanted to talk with me so I did. She was all sweet and flirty st first but then when she saw my passport and got some info from me she grew cold. It made me worried. I tried to ran away. Taking a flight but the airplane crashed. I tried to escape these people that were chasing me again. I soon found an abonded house and hided on the roof. But the roof was in two pieces and two other women were hiding there as well. I jumped over to their side and stayed there. The guards didn’t find me.


Note: The dream was really hard to follow since everything happened so fast.

Non-dream stuff - this has been the pattern for the last few days. I woke up at 8:30 but somehow fell asleep again despite not wanting to, waking up two hours later. Been having long non-lucid dreams on the first waking but usually forget too many details by the second waking.

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Dream part 1:
I was playing a game like the new Monster Hunter, I even remember thinking "this game is too similar to Monster Hunter, feels a bit like a rip-off". It was day time but dim. I was playing a male hunter, walking around some marshland and there was an old ruin/structure, and there was an inscription on top. For some reason I changed character to a female hunter, and then used the grappling hook to get on top of the old structure. I was a bit clumsy about it but I stood close to the inscription and read it.

I can't remember what it said, but it was 3 sentences and was cryptic.

Details are missing here between the next part.

Dream part 2:
I remember I was hunting a large creature in the marshland with other hunters but then at some point there is a transition and I become a giant creature myself. I seem to remember the form I took was of a female reptilian biped, with creamy/dirty white scales. I then went around the world and met other creatures and either changed the type I was or simply got bigger.

Eventually I remember seeing a (in the dream context) god-like creature, which was so big it's difficult to describe with words; only the foot was under the clouds and even though I was a giant too my size was only of this creature's toes.

I climbed up the furry leg, which I seem to remember being brown or orange fur, getting past the clouds and seeing the sun; it had a skirt and I came to the conclusion it was female and kept climbing up her leg until eventually I reached her shoulder.

I can't remember what happened next other than I had a brief discussion with her; her father had made her upset for some reason.

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Notes:

• This is the very rare dream type I typically enjoy quite a lot even if it's non-lucid. Unfortunately I did not think to RC at any point, despite the "massive" cues.
• The last dream I had of a similar sort was a couple of years ago, but it wasn't half as detailed nor was it of the same scale.
• I think I'm still doing poorly in regards to setting intentions about dreaming lately.
• The "goddess" creature reminds me now of a character I've seen an artist portray, so I'm thinking that's where her visual appearance stemmed from.
• From the first part to the second part, the feeling of being in a game was gradually reduced, until it felt more "real", especially with the climbing. Maybe because of the physical "effort"?

Morning of August 21, 2018. Tuesday.

Reading time: 2 min 22 sec. Readability score: 65.



I am with Zsuzsanna and our family but living on Loomis Street (where they have never been in reality, and yet my dream self does not detect the setting as incorrect). My brother-in-law Bob is sitting in his armchair. My mother-in-law is present, and Zsuzsanna is annoyed by her and goes into the bathroom. However, it is the Barolin Street house’s bathroom. We are all standing in here against a different wall. Zsuzsanna is the closest to the door. I tell my mother-in-law that she is the same as ten years ago even though she is not aggressive. (It has been over twenty years. We have not seen her much in reality.)

Distracted, I decide to go to the park. The house is again the Loomis Street house before I leave. I walk north to where no park exists in reality. In my dream, it is a large area. I am eating pieces of bread. (My throat is drier than usual as I sleep.) I become aware of wanting to fly (common liminal perception of vestibular system correlation). I look up to a structure that I want to fly up onto (before flying elsewhere), but I notice that a man and woman are seated there on a bench.

An unknown male walks to my left. While talking to me, the man soon takes his real left leg off as if it was detachable. He throws it several feet ahead. He asks me how he did, as apparently, he is practicing for an Olympic event.

“There was a lot of evenness in your throw,” I reply, not knowing what else to say. He then retrieves it and deliberately throws it onto the left shoulder of an unfamiliar woman sitting at a picnic table (about twelve feet away) with others. That act seemed more like a cheerful prank.

The woman seems only slightly annoyed. I do not know if they know each other.

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I am ready to fly, but there is a subliminal awareness that the physical body in the dream state is not real. That idea projects into another dream character as throwing the leg of their illusory body (left side is usually dream-oriented while the right is directed more toward waking perception as I sleep on my left side), implying that walking is pointless in the dream state.

The earlier scene seemed preparatory for RAS (in an apparent need to wake and use the bathroom as Zsuzsanna was to the right of the door from inside the room), as both my brother-in-law and mother-in-law have annoyed me in the past (emotional trigger to cause waking). From there, I liminally created the porch buffer to vivify my dream on the way to vestibular system correlation (flight in this case), which transformed atypically.

It is typical for my dreams to mix up settings, never in the same way more than once even in tens of thousands of them, and the endless variation has fascinated me since childhood. Ultimately, this is to prevent my non-lucid dream self (infra-self) from subliminally perceiving my dream setting as a real location. That is also why many events and ideas are incorrect or the opposite as I would have them in waking life other than when biological, literal, or prescient (which reveals one of the many problems with so-called interpretation), or reactive representation of the processes in REM sleep. It fascinates me when people claim that their dream correctly rendered where they lived or have lived, as I have never experienced this in my life even in lucid dreams.

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