• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. clxxv. Erotic comic, Item of value, Family interruptions, Learning about driving

      by , 10-04-2020 at 07:29 PM
      4th October 2020

      8:45?

      Fragment:

      In one part of this dream I had gone to a computer like mine (but was it mine?) and in the dream's context I'd previously downloaded a comic of sorts, about a giant elf lady who allowed herself to be pleasured by an also rather large but sentient spider (i.e. of the same level of intelligence). The comic was incredibly detailed but it wasn't tending towards hyper-realism or anything; initially I was very apprehensive as I thought my arachnophobia might come back (because of the spider's details) but I ended up liking the comic and the high level of detail. The backgrounds seemed simple or mostly abstract, colour gradients?

      The comic apparently had 68 pages, but each page was effectively a single comic tile/strip and many of them only showed small or incremental changes from the previously shown scenes. The spider was a night blue or black colour? Orb weaver type.

      Before this, T and I had been talking? But after looking at the comic for a while, I became aware of T's presence by my left side at this desk I was apparently sat at. I felt embarrassed and didn't like the idea that he'd basically been watching me look at this comic, when I thought I was alone. But he made no comment about it and I didn't bring it up myself.

      I remember a beautiful pine forest before all of this. Distant and snowy mountains and a river close by. Think I was walking by its sandy bank. There was some surreal element to the area, like the area was an unnatural overhanging cliff? But I think the forest was part of what prompted the comic segment.

      Fragment:


      I was some woman for a short bit or playing a game as this woman? But things looked realistic and I remember no HUD. I was in a third-person mode and there was something about setting a record and using motorcycles to do so. A giant plasma orb and some controller for it. I remember going up a ramp in a city area. There was a very wide river? Reminds me of some cities in the USA.

      At the end of this dream segment I had taken something which was really important. Some sinister and some natural higher powers all wanted whatever this was. I remember someone mentioning Aether beings like those of Minecraft:Aether. They also said something about those beings supposedly being more deserving of this thing I'd taken. There was a feel of being like Frodo or Bilbo, having something as highly sought after as the one ring.

      10-11:00?


      Fragment:


      In an altered version of my old home. I was trying to get to my computer in my bedroom. Emphasis on trying because interruptions kept happening. I felt some kind of compelling to look at that comic again. But this time I couldn't even get to the computer, T kept trying to talk to me or something. Then I lost him somehow and got in my room. I was about to shut the door but saw mom away in the distance; the house felt bigger and more... diagonal. But I hesitated; I tried turning on the light for my room but it wasn't working. I don't think it was night time, but it was dark in there.

      For some reason the hall's light was stopping my room's light from working, as I found that if that one went off, my room's light would work. But then T appeared again.

      (recall gap)

      Then, out in the night in my old town. There seems to be less street lighting than I'd expect. I'm at a car park near our home and walking towards a car, but can't recall the look of it. Something about getting in and then mom was there, wanting to teach me to drive.

      I get in the driver seat? But it's on the "wrong" side. Then dad turns up as I'm about to get going/started and I somehow am at the back of the car now, with dad having taken over. Then some third-person view sort of top-down, chasing the car while some kind of crazy manoeuvring is happening and the car is avoiding other cars using the road normally.

      Fragment:

      In the sky, kind of? Maybe this was in sequence of the old bedroom part, but I remember there are some very thin but incredibly solid platforms, nothing sways and I don't notice the absence of wind. I just remember seeing sky and clouds, even when looking downwards. It was sunny and I walked down some steps, at a quick pace? I had some sort of objective or goal.

      Fragment:

      In a back garden. A house that's mine and H's? There was a messy grassy garden, unkept. The grass looks yellowed or dry in parts and there are many tufts. There's a hole in the ground and on some level I remember that it could be a wasp nest like H had recently told me about and indeed some wasps do come out of the hole, but I run past and over the hole. Vague recall of the grass/ground being soft, like it's ankle deep.

      Fragment:

      Either H or T, stroking a cat (using the foot). I'm more at ground level, like the cat. Can't recall if it's black or white, but think white. But the cat gets up a little and hisses at him, but doesn't seem to care about me.



      Notes:

      - I don't remember looking through all the pages of the comic, but do remember seeing about 20 different strips, albeit many were only of small alterations conveying motion. I have some vague recall of text but I don't remember any text bubbles or anything.

      - Although I watched LOTR a long time ago, I did watch the Hobbit recently.
      -- The theme of a valuable object being sought-after by powerful entities has recently occurred in another dream.

      - Although mom did use to drive, by the time I was around she didn't drive anymore because of some experiences she had.
      -- Mom was a teacher for a lot of her life, so it seems somewhat fitting that she would try teaching me even if she hadn't driven at all, even once, since I've lived.

      - There were a lot of themes both about my family and about my old home in these dreams.
      -- I had a slight introspection not too much later after waking, about this. The interaction between my "self" and the voice from my last lucid has made me wonder about the metaphorical meanings, as I have always had issues with family interrupting things or generally being nosey about things I'd rather they weren't nosey about, but this is only compounded worse by the fact that I wasn't able to have "space to myself" in a sense, when I was much younger, many of my dreams during my youth seemingly often having an aspect of wanting to be separate from my family, at times; at least to be able to explore certain things by myself.
      -- The interruptions by T were something of a recurring theme during waking life, especially in regards to not talking about something that I may have felt was awkward or sordid. But in our childhoods we were very close.
    2. cxlviii.

      by , 08-31-2020 at 01:49 AM
      8th August 2020 8:30

      Fragment (DFLN thread):

      Recall faded somewhat. Left too long before deciding to type.

      Was underwater, felt something like Conan:Exiles but overall it was a mixture of different things. (nice and specific as always... )

      A cutscene of an event? Something about having a wee, or reproducing? A giant blue or dark teal female-like character had phallic tentacles from their genital area and they wrapped them around me or my character and left some kind of "seed". (my visual recall of this seems to have faded, but I remember it was quite distinct)

      Then something similar happened again? But with a different creature. Then I remember being equally big and trying to protect some smaller spawn.

      A wave of zeds from KF appeared and I used my giant arms to simply swat them away as they swam closer?

      Some other part, going up in a lift in a rush after escaping while fighting. Remember using a shotgun in a first-person mode. As the lift made a stop, there was a character. A deer, or half-deer. Something about the hooves was important? I remember a divinely glow of some kind behind the character... But not sure now.

      Then, further along, inside a gigantic tree that had been planted earlier (when?) but could sort of see inside out or something when looking up, weird perspective stuff. A bit cinematic-y.

      Fragment:


      Drawing on tablet?



      8th August 2020 10:10

      Fragment:

      In the old kitchen at the old home. Something about mom making a deal, or promise? With me, or with dad, who was also in the room. There's some cooking going on, I was making something soupy, or sauce-like.

      In an earlier part of the dream, playing with H in some GTA or SR-like game. I remember using a very large tank that took up two lanes, and then eventually simply decided to spawn or summon a jet, like one from JC3, but I got a fighter by accident instead of a bomber like I meant to, but I just carried on and got in it. Went over some restricted zone and started shooting at generic henchmen. I remember a city and a lot of water. Maybe a bit futuristic.

      Fragment:

      Mixed/incomplete recall. My cousin T ate some little sweet thing. It did something to her behaviour and I think her sister was there too. Something about me babysitting or taking care of them? Weird dream place, vivid-ish colours.



      Notes:
      - For a while now me and H have been playing KF2 on and off together, the zeds were probably just a leak-through of that. But I haven't really played C:E in forever, but have thought about it.
      - Not sure what was the specific source for the giant characters. Need to make mental note to look through old sketches.
      - The deer character was an unusual appearance. I think it was partly precipitated by the interactions I've had with Occipitalred here on DV. Deer-type animals are not the type I give a lot of conscious attention, though I did paint a deer character some six weeks ago (at the time of writing this).
      - The "mistake" of summoning the wrong jet is of particular significance for me because in JC3 I got very used to flying the more sluggish bomber and really pushing it to its limits.

      Updated 09-01-2020 at 02:00 PM by 95293

      Categories
      side notes , non-lucid , dream fragment
    3. cxli.

      by , 08-19-2020 at 08:01 PM
      7th July 2020

      Dream (somewhat fragmented):

      Some mix of walking and racing around a city. There was a long track that lapped at a military train station of some kind and looped around through a somewhat futuristic city and some mountains and sea side cliffs. I think I lapped around a couple of times at least. The track was a mix of dirt and train tracks along the non-city parts, so the car would transform or something as it went on and off the rail tracks. The moments during which I was driving were all in third person view.

      (recall gap)

      At some point I was driving a tank past the check point where the race track supposedly lapped, somewhere in the city. A group of rebels appeared and melded out from the cheering crowds gathered around the city race track. The group of people had guns and they clung to me and demanded "the truth" (not of me, it was their chant?). I was not their ally but not their enemy either. I carried on moving forward and some point I'm me and not in the tank anymore, and I'm going through this cramped and small hall of a sci-fi, neon-lit mall. It's kind of dark but the neon signs made a stark contrast.

      (at some point there's a transition, maybe not instant but gradual, though my recall of it has faded)

      The rather large group of rebels was much smaller now. I was now in a giant cavern and this much smaller (less than ten people in total) group of rebels and their children had been following me for a while now after what I think had been quite some time walking; some of the kids kept holding on to me (in fear?) or clinging but I found this annoying at times since I was trying to move forward.

      In the huge cave there was this giant reptilian alien creature and it was fighting or attacking something. I remember running past its large open mouth and throwing a small nuclear bomb inside. Somehow I made it keep its mouth closed as I moved towards its tail.

      The bomb went off at this point and the light shone right through the scaly skin; there was a certain iridescence to the effect and there were plenty of vivid colour. Because I was at the back at this point, I remember making note that it was a female (based on the genitals) and the creature began to feel weak and was sort of hanging on its knees.

      Then I remember being the same size as it; I sort of rolled it over on its back and then it was a (friendly) dog. I was trying to be careful because some of those people were still nearby and now they were tiny. I gave the dog some kind of pill like a tranquillising medicine, without too much resistance; the giant dog began to look a bit out of it and happy. Then there was some kind of interface to choose how to reset or reprogram the creature's behaviour. There were two columns with a few options each.

      The dream ended shortly after this.



      Notes:
      - Even only after waking up I thought that the general setting of this dream was very interesting. The sci-fi type city and the scenic landscapes are generally appealing and come to think of it, are both subjects I'd like to be better at portraying artistically.
      -- I remember some picturesque sunset views at some point, around the seaside cliff areas.
      - This was one of those dreams that felt quite long, where I feel there are many parts of the dream that I did experience but simply could not recall solidly once awake.
      - The whole thing with the rebels and the city makes me think of the Hunger Games for some reason, though I don't think I'd rewatched it recently at the time of this dream.
      -- I don't remember clearly anymore what was the general emotional state of the rebels and their children when we were in the cave, but my mind says "fear" at the moment; but the way the children were hanging on to me was more playful, in the same way that as when I was a child I might have done when being playful with my parents.
      - The nuclear bomb and the shiny effect were probably in part brought on by playing Borderlands 3 and using a character skill that enables miniaturised nuclear warheads to be fired, and in part probably by Fallout and its Fatman too.
      - Rolling over the creature (dog at that point) was very akin to my experience of having to give my dog medication, though in this case there was actually more willingness to receive the medication.

      Updated 08-19-2020 at 08:03 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    4. cxxxi. Lucidity! And self-indulgence

      by , 08-04-2020 at 01:07 PM
      4th August 2020 ~11:30

      Dream:

      Near the end of a stupidly long non-lucid part; I was falling through a pipe, I was with a squad to take something out in a facility. But then as I was falling, everything seemed still.

      I was in a void of sorts and time seemed to pass slower, the others were still here with me. It felt like being in water, and there was a similar visual effect. The squad leader, turned to me and said "you must pick the right one this time!" and I suddenly saw a vision of who to pick.

      Then I was in a room. There were three guardians and some other characters. I picked the one from my vision. It was true that it was the start of a cycle that I was now breaking, at the start of this long non-lucid part I was in a very similar situation.

      But this time I had picked "correctly". As a result, my consciousness shifted, I was now the guardian I'd picked. I noticed my hands, I had three fingers and one thumb. I became lucid but it came slowly, not like in the past.

      There was no "aha!" moment or sudden shift. I realised I was in a version of my mom's first office room. The characters were gone, I think; and to confirm my lucidity further I grabbed a metal shelving unit in the room and threw it through a wall, fully expecting it to go through as if it were a ghost, and it did!

      I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, since I hadn't fully expect to be lucid. I decided to indulge in one of my fantasies and decided to become a giant anthropomorphic lizard. It sort of worked... I saw myself in third person, wearing a labcoat (my artificial dream sign) as an anthro lizard. But I wanted to be myself in first person, I get tired of seeing things in third person in dreams and so I willed it and then was myself as the lizard. I looked down and saw the city-sprawl below me. I had reptilian-like feet with claws and I could see I had an emerald green skin but it was not as dark as I wanted. I tried to give myself different sexual features but it didn't work either.

      I was happy enough the transformation worked in the basic sense in any case and started to have some fun by putting myself against the ground and sort of rubbing along it for lack of better words. I paused and checked my hands again, just having a good look at them. They were hardly as scaly as I'd expected and this felt disappointing but I carried on. I remember noticing the atmosphere effect but oddly enough when I was standing I didn't notice the curvature effect of the planet. I was big enough that I should have been able to notice it.

      While the terrain did get sort of crunched/destroyed/etc by whatever I did, I wasn't able to see the cities in any great amount of detail and could not notice any mountains either. I was too big I suppose. I could feel my tail at several points but overall the feel of my body was mostly whole/complete.

      Spoiler for Self-indulged arousal:


      After this self-indulging, I realised the city/landscape I'd been having fun on and with was really just a square section in a rather large room. At the edges, the atmosphere effect sort of cut off, it was interesting.

      I was standing up and looked around the room for the first time; lots of metal pipes and dark metal things, like grates and slits where some natural light came through from. It had an extremely industrial look. As I looked around I still felt that I was very big, but the room's scale made me feel smaller in a sense, despite how much room I took.


      My lucidity was fading a little and I'd become a bit bored, I didn't expect to end my fantasy so soon but this was obviously the result of not pre-planning any of this. I saw a character less than half my size, by a sewer-tunnel looking bit. I approached, I asked him "Who are you?", quite curious about this metal-flesh sort of monster, the look only describable as being drawn from many such archetypes.

      He gave me a reply veiled in mystery, that I cannot recall anymore, but he did not answer my question in its most basic form and I didn't think of asking again. I got bored of him and decided he was quoting from something, but I forget what he was saying, unfortunately.

      I looked around again. This felt so different from my previous lucid experiences. I was calm, and it didn't take much effort to be calm; the dream was far less vivid and detailed than other lucids and indeed even less than some non-lucids, but I appreciated this moment. I enjoyed not feeling my daily pain.

      Then, out of nowhere, I heard a deep echoing voice. It told me "You must kill your brother, remember?". Some less conscious part of me, replied automatically "I know, I know! But not now." Before I could add anything of my own will, the voice spoke again to the effect of "Very well, he shall be kept alive for now." The voice faded completely and I simply finished by again automatically saying "Good."

      I didn't appreciate this family-related intrusion into my lucidity but realised it was from a deeper part and so didn't really wish to alter it.

      My lucidity may have been fading again but I decided to simply explore these strange halls, carelessly stepping over that square world I'd been playing with earlier and heading for a doorway on the opposite corner from where I was. There were many artificial warm light accents around the metal halls. I eventually found myself on a gantry bit and there were random people both there and on a lower tier. I played around with some telekinesis on some red and blue barrels, trying to lob them but doing so poorly at first. I started to gain a more intuitive understanding as I did it but it did not feel as "mentally driven" as I'd expected, having to move my hands a fair bit.

      My form had been consistent through my lucidity, I still had reptilian traits and my hands were clawed now, I recall. A random human character next to me looked up to me and said "Don't throw them with your arms like a real barrel." Or something like that. I understood from this to use hand motions more. I tried lifting a barrel and pulling it toward me, having done so too much and then pushing it forward a little more with some related hand motions.

      I tried to hit a person in the lower tier with the barrel but it didn't quite work or something. Then I went down some stairs. I was in a mall area and my lucidity was fading but not gone. A dream character was upset with me, he was some manager for the mall. "You're ruining everything with your lucidity!" He said, or something.

      He was extremely upset that I was doing whatever I pleased. There was a woman nearby I'd somehow gotten fired or something (but she was all the more happy about it) and the man became angry and he wanted to have a serious go at me now.
      But I somehow just turned it against him, kind of willing some help from the woman and she automatically started defending me, distracting the manager man. I was no longer lucid at this point and had been letting myself go along with the dream too much. Eventually I just woke up.



      Edit:

      Spoiler for Notes (in spoiler due to their length):

      Updated 08-04-2020 at 05:12 PM by 95293

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    5. cxxii.

      by , 07-25-2020 at 12:30 AM
      18th May

      Fragment:
      Last dream, in a place like Azeroth, Westfall.

      Something about Warcraft II and the Deadmines. Several passing thoughts about classic dungeons. Then a mix of STV and the dam at Dun Modr. But it had a lower tier which was ramped. There was a ship like the Juggernaut inside DM but it was more Alliance-like than Orcish. The front of it looked like an old 1800s steam boat or something. I remember having a view point from above the chimney and looking in and thinking that the model wasn't finished because it just looked like a tube with few shadows and straight cuts through into each deck of the ship.

      I then became aware of my body. I was sort of crouching but sitting on my bottom and became aware or made note of my genitals. I think H was present as a voice and we were talking. I said something about how "at normal size I'd barely be able to push my tip into the top of the chimney", which made me realise my scale in the dream a little bit. Even so, being giant didn't make question reality either as it should have. The dream ended soon after.



      Notes:
      - Although I often have passing thoughts that relate to this type of dream situation (being giant-sized and "playing" with things), it's rare for me to actually have dreams within these contexts and dreams involving some kind of sexual stimulation or play are not too common for me.
      - I used to mess around in private server versions of WoW that I'd run privately/on my own many years ago and would often change my character's scale to the maximum possible (usually 10 times or something). This dream may relate to that in some sense, and admittedly I'd sort of forgotten about that until re-typing this dream on this DJ.
      - I remember when I woke up I thought it was odd I could hear H as a voice but not be aware of H's presence physically within the dream. I remember it made me feel as though there was quite a deep level of immersion in physical terms.
    6. Reluctant Sorcerer

      by , 06-13-2020 at 12:54 PM
      Morning of June 13, 2020. Saturday.

      Dream #: 19,535-03. Reading time: 2 min 56 sec.



      Although parts of this dream have influences from coronavirus associations as read in the media in waking life, there is, as usual, no dream self recall or concern about the pandemic, only three compartmentalized threads unlinked in my dreaming experience. The first is a reference to someone having a sore throat, the second relating to the claim I read in an article that bugs in a dream are “symbolic” of COVID-19 (and yet people have always dreamt of bugs long before this), and the third relating to stores being abandoned and boarded up (associated with media reports about rioting and looting as well as COVID-19).

      My dream self is a sorcerer in this imaginary scenario. My waking-life identity is absent even though I am in what is possibly a variation of the Hinkler Centre shopping mall though it also has the vague, ambiguous essence of my middle school and a shopping mall in La Crosse. An unfamiliar man and woman approach me. The man claims he got a sore throat from me. I tell him, “I never had a sore throat in my life.” (My dream self has no recall of ever having one, anyway.) I had supposedly been in service to them as a sorcerer, though I am unsure as to what he had wanted from me. He reminds me by giving me a card (about one and a half times bigger than a business card) that supposedly has their requests on it, though I do not read it.

      Even so, I am annoyed. I do not want to deal with these people, so I summon scarab beetles in their direction, though only a few crawl towards them. (This event is similar to one in a dream from April 14, 2020, though that was with comedic, sarcastic intent with ants.) I decide to leave the scene, now recalling I should be wearing different clothes (instinctual awareness of being undressed as I sleep).

      I walk out to the parking lot (liminality management) and notice most of the windows of the shopping mall are boarded up (another type of dream state liminality management, though with a more defined division between dream space and wakefulness). I want to get something from a store. I eventually find one store at the other end up the shopping mall that is not boarded up and is open. It is a grocery store with many shoppers. After I go in, I look around and realize I am not here to buy anything but to retrieve my clothes. (It makes no sense other than as specific co-occurrence with preparing to wake by being near a checkout with the association of getting dressed after getting out of bed. Once dreams are understood for what they are, there is no doubt as to their translation.)

      Instead of waking with this otherwise familiar process, my dream becomes exponentially more vivid. The vestibular-cerebral handshake kicks in to an extreme degree, and I find that I seem to be a young boy scout (and dressed the part, including with khaki shorts) even though I also have the recall I had been a sorcerer in the previous transition. Three men tower over me like giants, though I do not feel threatened or insecure. They are going on a fishing trip and are waiting for the man I wanted to avoid in the first dream segment. He eventually arrives and is huge. However, I summon a fireball and disintegrate him. The other “giants” do not seem to care and behave as if they are glad to be rid of him.

      Even so, I decide to instinctually initiate the next process. I turn and walk through the wall of a nearby building into a dark bedroom. However, one of the men from the previous scenario walks in, though he is now normal size, as I am. He is thankful for me getting rid of the other man but patronizes me by giving me a card addressing what he wants from me by way of sorcery. Soon, another man comes in and also gives me a card with his requests.

      I am then on the porch of my present home (liminality management) and wonder if I should wait for the third man to approach me in case he also has a card. Even so, I begin to feel that my dream is too ridiculous to continue, so I wake myself.


    7. xcvi.

      by , 03-08-2020 at 11:41 AM
      Dreams taken from phone memos from today and yesterday. Will try to arrange chronologically and make notes for each day separately.


      7th:

      Dream Fragment:

      There's a high school context to the dream. Vi from my class back then, he was walking around with me, near my old home. We were headed towards the main square or the subway?

      In reality we'd never spoken a lot, but in the dream we were talking non-stop for some reason. I was telling him about a god of war? And about a dark goddess.

      Not sure where this fits into the dream but I remember some other part, relating to this goddess. There are strange cliffs, rock looks sedimentary; and there are scattered graves but I don't remember what they look like anymore. I spoke to the dark goddess I think.

      Other stuff happens in between and all I have left is a fragment from the end of the dream. I was gigantic and a ten story building was only about ankle height for me. I was running somewhere, taking long strides over cities and hills. I avoided excessively mountainous areas. It was quite sunny and clear.

      Some areas were under mass floods, because of the dark goddess? Something about her being angry. There were craters or abysses which the water spiralled into.

      Notes:

      - The irony of the last part of this dream is that this is one of my current lucid challenges.
      - I don't remember what I was wearing, or if I was wearing anything at all in the last part of the dream, but in the early parts of the dream I was wearing my old cream hoodie, except it had a front pocket thing, which it actually doesn't.
      - I don't remember actually seeing this goddess in the dream, but I have an archetype appearance in mind visually, where she appears sort of half-naked and has somewhat messy but long black hair. Has red iris eyes.


      8th:

      All sort of a continuous dream, but transitions and details are highly fragmented:

      Inside some structural complex. My family is here, primarily siblings and parents. I remember L talking and showing me a few things around the place. I think this place was like a house L and S were building?

      There's certainly lots of concrete to the structure, and some sort of carpeting thing going on. I remember a diffused sunlight from directly above. At this point I was in a concrete tunnel overhang with huge glass panes to the side. I could feel that the sunlight was coming from a diffusing rectangular skylight much higher up.

      Then after seeing into a few different rooms and going a bit dark, there was a transition of some kind.

      I was just outside the building I used to live in. It's daytime but not sure what the sky is like. Colours are semi-vivid. H is here in some form and I feel like I'm a small girl or something. I play around the cobbled area and then there's something about money. I was making 100 an hour by just moving some small 1kg bags of flour? But because there was limited demand, then I wasn't needed anymore, which made me disappointed.

      Transition or cut.

      Short sequence where me and H were about to play some board game. Not sure where we are, but indoors. Then all of a sudden, MB appears. I feel really apprehensive and tense, but oddly enough H is fine with his presence. I remember what I told mom some days ago in waking life, that we don't let MB hang out anymore, and yet here he is.

      We play a test round of the board game and then I start putting it all away, in the hope he'll get the hint and go away. I am confused as to why H hasn't told him to go either. I feel on edge and like I could become aggressive.

      Transition.

      Some weird sort of library. Reality physics mixed with game-type physics. There's a very short farclip plane. H is here and talks to me about something. I remember a purple and orange haze and some bookshelves. I walk around somewhat disorientated. I remember going into a room that I could see clearly and there were rolled up bits of paper, or scrolls?

      Transition again.

      I was on the computer, looking at a reddit link from some support group forum for people with my illness. The reddit link had an embedded youtube video that had some furry characters on the preview.

      The first line I remember either from reddit or the video description was "The inner drunkard voice of the characters we draw ghandara macrophylla". This doesn't fully make sense even in the dream and somehow I also feel the video will likely have someone with a really annoying voice, so I don't think I played it anyway. Passing thoughts about drawing.

      Notes:

      - I had to look up "ghandara", and the closest word I could find is "gandara", which means wetland(s) in Galician. Though it's a fairly familiar language, I didn't know this word specifically. "macrophylla" I know from plants, meaning large leaves or so. So that would make it "large leafed wetland" or something in a more literal sense, but it still doesn't link directly to the rest of the description text. I think in the dream the "macrophylla" was just a misspelling of "macrophilia" but it still doesn't explain the other random word.
      - Perhaps the oddest thing about the video link was that I have neither used reddit nor any online support group for my illness in a long time. The rest of the fragment's context seems to relate more to the fact that I haven't been drawing lately, mostly because of how I've been feeling, but also to the natural feelings of jealousy that seem to crop up in me sometimes when the art of others is on show.
      - In the weird haze library area, the purple and orange may have been a bit symbolic, as I associate purple to myself and orange to H, who was also there.
      - When MB was playing this board game with us, he was being as irritating as ever, all the more reason I wanted him gone.
      - Although I remember S was in the first part of the dream, I don't remember hearing her speak, which seems unlikely. That first part felt like the longest and the second part felt like the shortest.
    8. lxvi.

      by , 11-06-2018 at 12:35 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up about 3 times through the morning, between 8:20, the time for my alarm, then at 9 something then at 10:20. Some long-ish dreams but think they've fragmented.



      Fragment 1:
      At a square or cathedral. There with partner (H), something to do with pipe organs.

      Then outside, at the square. Nice cobbles and layout. Remember meeting up with my parents and having them ask why I didn't have a stand here selling old coins; I remember explaining that I'd worked out that the cost to make them look new, plus the cost to rent the space, plus other things I don't remember now, meant that it was far too expensive and not worth it at all. I also remember explaining that I didn't have nearly enough coins to make it worthwhile.

      Then at some version of my childhood home with my parents. At the rear balcony of the flat. Things look blocky like a voxel game. I remember blue leaves and yellow logs. We were on the 6th or 7th floor, judging by the height.

      Fragment 2:
      A friend of ours, M, was buying crap again.

      Fragment 3:
      At some sort of flat. Don't remember what lead up to this scene anymore.

      There was a tongue and lips art sculpture thing on a wall. Then it became a bit more real and I then remember a giant furry outside the flat, peeking in. I remember the fur was white and the eyes were blue. I think it was a girl and she said something.



      Some notes:
      • The appearance of my parents and the questions about the "coin stand", has to do with how they often want me to try and do something else, since they are concerned I won't be able to support myself. This type of appearance in a dream is perhaps validating their concerns in part. When I was awake in bed I remember thinking about carpentry again.
      • Being at the cathedral with H seems to be merely a reflection of recent events, as I help H with pipe organ work.
      • Both the first and the third dreams were a lot longer, and I woke up sweating with the third dream; this has been happening a few times recently where I wake up sweating at about 10:20 with vivid-ish dreams. Generally being too hot is what makes the dreams vivid, as far as I can tell. Unfortunately it also means my mind is a bit more active when I'm actually awake, making it easier to forget details.
    9. xlvii.

      by , 10-09-2018 at 06:48 PM
      Non-dream stuff - Woke up between 8 and 9, few details recalled of some non-lucid fragments, but some of those also lost due to writing this much later.



      Fragment 1
      Was in a spaceship of some kind, remembering traveling through a star system that had a gas giant planet that had a smaller planet lodged on its surface; I remember approaching the smaller planet and entering a blue sky atmosphere and I remember feeling both forces of ascent and descent, but always going very close to a horizontal parallel, so the forces weren't that strong.

      Fragment 2
      Some sort of transition with the first fragment where I was a giant and going through a city. Few details remembered now but I distinctly remember feeling like the perspective wasn't quite accurate (the field of view seemed too small).

      Fragment 3
      Doing something "naughty" with my partner, in a large concrete room; there was a bulb hanging from the ceiling, tungsten. There were a couple of computers that we weren't supposed to be using or something. The room had a door but it was more like a barred door, so it could be seen through. I remember feeling like somebody could intrude at any point.



      Some notes:
      • The first dream (fragment) has probably originated from recently playing Homeworld again a bit. Another game I used to play from the same era was Freelancer, which was another space game. Often, using a system editor in Freelancer meant you could do weird things like the two planets in this dream fragment.
      • Though normally I would consider the second fragment to be a possible dream goal (like for the October competition by KarlaB18), I do not consider it detailed enough to actually have achieved that goal. The fact that it occurred is a positive for me because I rarely dream of subjects I'm very interested in or want to have fun with.




      Scoring thus far:
      + Previous score: 3.5

      + This DJ entry score (breakdown below): 6.5
      ++ Recall any non-lucid dream over 3 consecutive nights: 3.0
      ++ Recall a non-lucid fragment: 0.5 * 3 = 1.5
      ++ Fly (1st fragment): 1.0
      ++ Transform/Shapeshift (2nd fragment): 1.0

      = Total score thus far: 10.0
    10. xxvii.

      by , 08-21-2018 at 11:13 AM
      Non-dream stuff - this has been the pattern for the last few days. I woke up at 8:30 but somehow fell asleep again despite not wanting to, waking up two hours later. Been having long non-lucid dreams on the first waking but usually forget too many details by the second waking.



      Dream part 1:
      I was playing a game like the new Monster Hunter, I even remember thinking "this game is too similar to Monster Hunter, feels a bit like a rip-off". It was day time but dim. I was playing a male hunter, walking around some marshland and there was an old ruin/structure, and there was an inscription on top. For some reason I changed character to a female hunter, and then used the grappling hook to get on top of the old structure. I was a bit clumsy about it but I stood close to the inscription and read it.

      I can't remember what it said, but it was 3 sentences and was cryptic.

      Details are missing here between the next part.

      Dream part 2:
      I remember I was hunting a large creature in the marshland with other hunters but then at some point there is a transition and I become a giant creature myself. I seem to remember the form I took was of a female reptilian biped, with creamy/dirty white scales. I then went around the world and met other creatures and either changed the type I was or simply got bigger.

      Eventually I remember seeing a (in the dream context) god-like creature, which was so big it's difficult to describe with words; only the foot was under the clouds and even though I was a giant too my size was only of this creature's toes.

      I climbed up the furry leg, which I seem to remember being brown or orange fur, getting past the clouds and seeing the sun; it had a skirt and I came to the conclusion it was female and kept climbing up her leg until eventually I reached her shoulder.

      I can't remember what happened next other than I had a brief discussion with her; her father had made her upset for some reason.



      Notes:
      • This is the very rare dream type I typically enjoy quite a lot even if it's non-lucid. Unfortunately I did not think to RC at any point, despite the "massive" cues.
      • The last dream I had of a similar sort was a couple of years ago, but it wasn't half as detailed nor was it of the same scale.
      • I think I'm still doing poorly in regards to setting intentions about dreaming lately.
      • The "goddess" creature reminds me now of a character I've seen an artist portray, so I'm thinking that's where her visual appearance stemmed from.
      • From the first part to the second part, the feeling of being in a game was gradually reduced, until it felt more "real", especially with the climbing. Maybe because of the physical "effort"?
    11. Finding Oahu

      by , 12-29-2017 at 06:29 PM
      Morning of December 29, 2017. Friday.



      My dream memory starts with me already being in the waking space with no recall of any prior backstory or induction type. I find myself on the Barolin Street porch (a porch being my most common end state marker, symbolizing the closest transition to emergent consciousness).

      Despite the setting, my dream distorts the implications into what seems to be a perfunctory attempt at reinduction. I am near a large globe that is implied to be the actual world. I am apparently a giant, bigger than Earth itself (which makes no sense as I am standing on a porch seeming otherwise of normal size). Looking down, I see where I am supposedly meant to go. It is a small island called Oahu. In my dream, it is a smaller part of Japan, not Hawaii. The rest of Japan is rectangular and horizontally oriented on the globe, just east of China. There is no North or South Korea. Oahu is east of the main rectangular part of Japan. I look more closely. My physicality changes but I am still a giant somehow standing on the globe. I am standing in the water (the ocean implied), which is just above my ankles, on the west side of the little island.

      I do not want to ruin anything, as the island is almost too small to stand on. Looking down, I notice about six or seven very small animated drawings of people, depicted as walking around, but I see no buildings. The sketchily animated people are not in correct perspective relative to my position. I view them more from their sides (partly in profile) than as if looking down upon them. They seem too big to be able to live in such a small area. They seem to be wearing only white Asian conical hats and white loincloths. Despite them being sketchy animations, I perceive them as real people, or at least indicative of where the “real” people are. They make no indication that they are aware of me, though they are like insects in comparison to my size.

      There are some changes in my size, it seems, but the island remains too small to consider suitable for visiting.



      Zsuzsanna and I watched a movie that was set in Hawaii last night, apparently on the island of Oahu (though there was nothing in the movie regarding Japan). I do not know why Japan came in or why Hawaii was supposed to be Japan or whatever; just the usual nonsense.


      Tags: giant, island
      Categories
      non-lucid
    12. Another “Supernatural” Adventure

      by , 10-25-2017 at 07:49 AM
      Morning of October 25, 2017. Wednesday.



      There are two types of dream scenarios influenced by the “Supernatural” television series; ones in which I am “in” the show’s world (without realizing that it is fiction) and ones in which I am aware of the Winchesters as their real-life counterparts as actors and on the set of the show or another location. This dream is of the former type; I am “in” the world where “Supernatural” is imagined as “real”.



      Sam and Dean, and apparently their father, have discovered a portal to another world, though it is more like a pocket universe in the form of a large cave. They need to retrieve something deeper within the cave, such as important maps or other documents and possibly treasure.

      There are unusual features related to working near the opening of this cave. There is a small pond as well as some sort of dynamic staircase that rises from the pond and which changes in position and orientation (including upside-down).

      At one point, there are very loud footsteps and vibrations that imply a giant anthropomorphic creature approaching the mouth of the cave from inside; a giant manlike beast that wakes up when the portal is open, apparently preventing people from going farther into the cave, though I never see this giant. They close the portal for a time, though I decide to run off and hide in an orange grove. I think about which orange tree would be the most suitable to hide behind. At this point, it seems like the orange grove across the street from my Cubitis home (where I have not lived since 1978), which then implies that the portal was in about the center of the Cubitis living room, bilocated as such (environmental bilocation being a very common aspect of my dreams since childhood, yet of which I hardly ever see other people write about).

      Absentmindedly, I go back to the location where Sam and Dean are. They seem very cheerful. They have an unusual advantage now. There are two living idols that are on our side of the portal that are preventing two smaller living idols from going back into the entrance of the cave. The smaller ones are only about a foot high and the other two about two feet in height. They look somewhat like Maori idols. I watch the smaller two try to get back into the cave, but they eventually give up because of the larger two guarding it. They then go to a playground and have fun sliding down the slide, exclaiming “wee” and giggling. I watch the activity of these unusual living statues for a few minutes.

      Sam and Dean are now getting what they want from the cave. The giant will sleep when the two small idols are not present inside. He could not possibly wake up otherwise. From here, I absentmindedly wander off into a featureless field (a common liminal space setting in my dreams, especially in the last scene), which seems to be at night.

      A beautiful young girl approaches though I do not fully recognize her as a young version of Zsuzsanna (even though she is, though my conscious self identity is still subliminal and my non-lucid dream self amnesiac and of fictitious dynamics). We hug and kiss but she says something about needing to go somewhere. I assume I will see her again later as my dream fades.



      Since early childhood, other than literal prescience (including biological foreshadowing as well as premonitory factors of the waking jolt itself) and many other literal features, my dreams have easily been seen as mostly being about dreaming and waking in real time (and the symbolism as such, obviously as it is a mental process in real time) rather than the nebulous and ill-informed concept of “interpretation” that many people believe in for whatever reason. The same is true for this dream.

      The cave represents the status of being unconscious (including the redundant factor of a dream as if of “another world” that “hides” the conscious self identity) as well as deeper levels of memory (validated by the Cubitis setting, not seen in real life since 1978). The four idols represent dynamics of the reticular activating system, which mediates the level of consciousness (and is responsible for the nature of waking symbolism, sometimes utilizing real-life environmental ambiance or physical discomfort of sleeping position). The two smaller idols (emergent consciousness factors, unfeasibly otherwise modeled after the preconscious, representing the two brain hemispheres) need to be present to activate waking, yet the two larger idols (dream-based figures representing my subliminal desire to sleep longer) prevent them from causing the giant to wake. The two smaller idols still playfully simulate waking (to indicate that waking up is not so bad) by playfully going down the slide, which is akin to the common biological falling sensation of waking.

      After this, a young Zsuzsanna (mostly as she appeared when we first met in real life, though she is wearing slacks and a blouse) is rendered as the emergent consciousness factor to “try again”. This time, coalescence waking symbolism is the key and the feasible result, which symbolizes both my dream self’s coalescence back into my conscious self identity, my link to the familiar, and the dawning of conscious self identity recognition, which is not present in many dream states.



      “Beyond the Martian Time Barrier / The Martian Casket” from 1973 is a very good example of the same core symbolism. The status of sleeping and waking bilocated in the center of the Cubitis living room in mostly the same way, though in that dream, REM sleep was also symbolized as the “sleeping” Martian’s eyes being seen to move realized as being mine as reflected back. In that case, there was not an additional waking symbolism segment as here, as it was not needed.

    13. "Welcome to Hell"

      by , 07-25-2017 at 03:48 AM (Dream)
      Key:
      Side Notes (Side Notes)
      Title
      Dream
      Lucid
      "Welcome to Hell"
      I was at school on the sidewalk, there was a bus in front of us.
      I believe I went on it for a short while but got off. It looks like a death trap, Lexi got on, I could've warned her.
      A guy gets on and he has a stereotypical surfer voice and says "Wow! Cool!"
      The Bus Driver then closes the door, the bus starts to float in midair and he says "Welcome to hell." (?)
      The Bus starts to squish itself and it's inhabitants. There's nothing left, it went into nothingness.
      I think 'Father...' (I guess in my dream the bus driver was my father.)
      Later in the dream, i'm standing at the end of the side walk. I can catch my bus, it is okay.
      'Not my bus, Not my bus' I think. I wave to a bus.
      All of the buses passed, a blonde haired lady appears (looks like Mrs.R) tells me "Your bus was in the back with
      the handicapped buses."
      She helps me find my bus, we end up by stairs by a place that looks like the Lower Gymnasium at my school.
      There is this Black Kid who is exactly my height, he's naked.
      I ask "How old are you?"
      He tells me he is 9 and a half.

      Fragment

      The Fire Nation is in the dream and there was a Giant Dude. (?)
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
      Those were the only dreams I could remember from last night, it's crazy how 90% of my dreams are about School yet I can't recognize that as a dream sign. I think I had a False Awakening last night so i'll put that down in the Global Category.
      July 24th, 2017
    14. Big Skeletal Creature (First LD in a long time)

      by , 07-03-2017 at 04:20 AM (Nonsense and Conundrums)
      I didn't journal on here yesterday because it wasn't interesting enough to report (still wrote it down in my paper journal, though!). Last night, however, was very interesting.

      I'm walking down the hall of a large mansion (you know, the stereotypical haunted house kind of place) with a rather large group of people. On one side of me is a woman with fiery red hair swept up in a messy bun, and on the other side is Owl. Something doesn't seem right about this, and I start questioning my reality, trying to remember how I had gotten here.

      I need no reality check this time, as I suddenly remember the last thing I had done is gone to bed. This has to be a dream!

      The lucidity is really strong. I laugh softly to myself, touching the wall, my clothes, everything, marveling at how real everything feels. I stay calm, repeating "this is a dream" in my mind, trying to stay conscious. I look over to Owl, and half-hoping she's real, I whisper to her, "Do you know you're dreaming?" She doesn't respond, looking straight ahead as she walks. Definitely not Owl.

      It's much harder than I expect to stay conscious. I feel really tired, and want to go back to "sleep", but my resolve is fairly strong. Because of this tiredness, however, I feel as if I have no energy to try and go anywhere else. I decide to stay in this dream and see how it plays out, because I'm very curious.

      The group ends up in this big room. A voice booms out from above. I no longer remember the exact words, but the voice says we have all been selected to perform a task. Once our task has been explained, all of us are transported to our respective locations. I think I lose lucidity for a while, because I don't remember the task (I do become aware again after this).

      I'm on a beautiful terrain of flatland grass, the occasional tree. The sky is bright and blue, but no sign of a sun or any light source. I travel this way for a while, all alone, in wonder at the lovely sights, shouting "clarity" whenever my vision starts to fade (I have problems with going blind in lucid dreams). Eventually I become bored with traveling and summon a video-game style map to go somewhere else. The only location on the map is a fortress, so I tap on the image and go there (This is how I move around, usually. My gamer brain understands a digital interface best).

      The fortress is huge, meant for someone much larger than I, but also run down, crumbling. I decide to explore the outside first before going inside. Then, suddenly...

      "Hey!"

      I turn at the sound of my name. A man is running toward me with a smile on his face -- it's Denarius!

      [ Denarius is the name of a dc I've seen in many dreams.]

      I haven't seen Denarius ever in forvever so I'm surprised, but not so happy, to see him. He did leave me when I asked for him, so I did not forget that. It's nice to see a familiar face, all the same.

      First thing he says after this is "So you're stuck here too? I got bored with my task but couldn't leave this place, so I decided to search for familiar faces. I'm happy to see you!"

      He babbles on and on, but then I say, "You LEFT me."

      That shuts him up quickly. His gaze drops to the ground. "We shouldn't talk about that here."

      I continue to question him about our last meeting, and how he brushed me off so easily, and how I haven't heard from him in months, but he keeps evading my probing, as if he's afraid. Keeps saying he can't talk about it. I give up on getting any information from him and idly chat.

      I enter the fortress. The layout is insane, very hard to navigate, but I manage. At this point, I lose lucidity, so I barely remember it, but there are many people in this fortress, it's no where near abandoned. Some things happen but it's all so blurry. Denarius leaves at some point, distinctly saying we'll see each other soon.

      I become frustrated at not being able to complete my task. Somehow, this frustration makes my brain click together again; oh yeah, I'm dreaming! I recall I'm supposed to be performing a task here, but what? What was it? I exit the fortress, annoyed.

      I have the sudden realization that I'm probably oversleeping right now. This dream has gone on a long time, something isn't right. I try to wake myself up, but I'm scoffed at from a voice from above. That's when a huge creature crashes out of the fortress: twice my size, humanoid but so animal at the same time, with huge armor and angry orange eyes. It has its eyes trained on me.

      Oh, no. I have no idea what to do, how to fight something so monstrous. The creature is chasing me around, and I'm running as fast as I can. It ends up catching me, starting to strangle me, but I can breathe just fine. I once again remember this is a dream, and my options for ending this creature are endless.

      I struggle out of its grasp and intuitively focus all of my energy into my hands. My hands start to glow and grow warm. I channel all this energy between my two palms, making a huge ball of heat. I release the energy, the ball catches fire and hurls at the creature.

      The fireball makes contact with the creature. Instead of it catching fire...it immediately disintegrates into black ash. I realize my task has been completed, and I wake up.

      And just as I thought, I overslept. It was 1pm when I finally awakened.

      Updated 09-26-2018 at 04:37 PM by 93526

      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    15. Two new alien planets and a fight

      by , 03-17-2017 at 07:22 AM (Letaali's Dream Journal)
      Outpost on an alien planet
      I see two soldiers walking through a desert on an alien planet. They pass by an old human outpost. My vision goes to the outpost. Looks like no one has been here in centuries. There are two black pods on the yard. Looks like they dropped from space. Lights on one of the pods is blinking. Something inside is still alive and trying to get out. The female soldier passing by notices this too. "I hope they make it out. Fight." she says without stopping.

      Forest of Giants
      I see a group of humanoids traveling through an alien forest. The trees look like redwood trees, but they are over 160 meters tall and fairly wide. I recognize two of the DCs: Storm from the X-men movies (Halle Berry) and Jason Momoa. The group is trying to sleep when a T-rex appears from the forest. Storm wakes Jason up and asks him to help. He looks groggy, but gets up without a word and walks to his own dinosaur pet, a raptor that's only slightly taller than him. He takes a dagger made of dinosaur claw from his bag and rips two large metal pieces from an abandoned car to work as weapons. The T-Rex has transformed into a giant man with a greatsword. The 80 meter tall man looks like Yondu from GotG. Jason drops the metal pieces, won't be of use against a giant sword.

      I become Jason and the dream turns first person. I jump away from Yondu. I go to the nearest tree with my superhuman jumps and with two more jumps I climb 100 meters. Yondu misses his first swing at me while I jump up. Seeing the sword up close is terrifying. It looks like Frostmourne without the blue glow. I jump off the tree and try to land on Yondu. He swings the sword again and barely misses. My heart nearly stops, but I land on Yondu and my poisoned dagger sinks into him. He is paralyzed and falls down. I make several long cuts on him with the dagger, making sure he won't get up ever again. I walk back to the group. Storm thanks me.
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