Recent DJ Posts

Apologies for not updating recently, The wifi at home is worse than dial up. Can't even load a webpage to update my dj.

Jamie dream (Almost a month ago?) I was standing outside somewhere with some family and saw my aunt smoking and standing by her Dodge caravan. Now I know she doesn't smoke so i'm really perplexed. I go to confront her on this. Someone calls behind me I look and at the end of the driveway is a woman with long brown hair and eyes light grey like a wolf. She's waving me down but somehow I don't recognize her, but I'm still focused on why my aunt is smoking so, I ignore the woman's "Ooh ooh, over here." and continue talking to my aunt. It wasn't until I woke up I realized it was a visit from Jamie.

Second dream I am furiously writing Jamie a really long Facebook message... Dear God, I sincerely hope I never have to do that again. It's been 5 years?!?!?!? Since I did such a thing and no response indicates that she likely doesn't want one either.

Dreams this week.

1. In this one I go to this park forest area in the middle of a city and hang out with people in the middle of the night. very vague on the rest of the details

2. Some skanky looking younger woman indicates she wants me to sleep with her. I take her number somewhat reluctantly, because i seem to be horny enough. But later in the dream and just message her that I'm no longer interested since I already have a girl coming in. (I think in the dream I was expecting Jamie to come into my life suddenly.

3. I am on a roadtrip in the middle of the night. I'm tired so I find an abandoned hospital looking place to stay the night in. While there a couple pulls up to spend the night as well. It's Victoria and her boyfriend (The victoria I worked with that didn't die from covid )

4. I find myself on a Date with a girl from India. We just get along really nicely. Can't remember much. just that she was leaning against a railing, we got talking and went for a coffee or something.

Seems like most of the dreams were trying to distract me from finding Jami in a dream... hmmm.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Walking up an alley of a park with a younger sister or cousin. On arriving at a terrace where there is a restaurant, we are cut off by barriers and cannot pass, because Ronaldo has booked it to have a private lunch there and no one can go throughit. I am upset and try to go around, but then he arrives by car and also blocks my way. I try to just ignore and move on, but something happens and he ends up also taking a walk in the park, almost side by side to us. As I reminisce to my companion about this place and some memories from my childhood, I notice he is listening and curious to know more. He asks me something about a street ahead and I suddenly remember stuff about it and drag him along in my revisitation of the place. I stayed there in a pension for some time and as I remember more details, I basically offer him a tour to this small town. He totally abandons his lunch plans and just joins us for good. Then we pass by a small place I mention has great veggie food, very basic but delicious and I invite him to have lunch there with us. He makes a bit of a snarky comment because of the veggie food, but then is really surprised to see that it is a very simple place with locals and not some fancy modern joint and I see curiosity won. I swear to him he will not forget about this place, either he likes the food or not, just because it is so authentic. By chance my dad is there with my aunt Ana and other people. They are waiting in line because there are no seats. I join them waiting in line and Ronaldo says we don't have to because of who he is, certainly they'll get us some table. Of course people recognize him when he enters and talk about it and some are very welcoming to him, but those that are sitting and eating with friends and family aren't bulging for him to get a seat and the fact is there really are no tables. What people do is they rearrange the tables so we have an area where we can sit on the floor if we want. I am ok with it, but he is not and so we just leave and continue our tour outside.
My dad reminded me that not only we spent some vacation on this town, but that we own an old house on this street. I am surprised and can't remember that at all, but he says it is that small property that appears mentioned on the IRS form and somehow it makes sense to me. He says it's just a couple blocks away, so I go look for it. Spot some folks building up a new house in the place where I thought was ours, can't figure out which one it is, so then we return and keep waiting for a table at the restaurant. By now Ronaldo is definitely feeling the hots for me and he grabs me by the waist and grabs my ass and pushes me against a wall, about to kiss me. But then my dad suddenly appears and ruins the moment. Ronaldo goes get some air for a minute and my dad comes talk to me. I guess he must be really proud that I am snatching such a rich famous guy and indeed he is, but also makes some comment about his manners and I have to agree that he is not exactly being a gentleman with me. I am not sure how I feel about it.

Walking by a boardwalk by the sea, recognizing some places. Seeing them with so much detail and thinking I don't wanna go there, because it is a place from another dream I had one day and nothing good came out of it. Then realize I am dreaming and it is a very stable lucid. The first thing that comes to my mind is to summon Avalokiteshvara. I really don't know why that was my first thought, but I did. Unfortunately, I immediately get surrounded by a pack of menacing growling dogs like dobbermans and rotweillers and I have to climb over a wall to protect myself. They keep jumping at me, viciously trying to attack me and I realize they are the protection mechanism or agents that always come if you try to liberate yourself, or meet those who can help you with that. I hadn't met them in a while. Then I remember that they have no power over me unless I give it to them, so I point the palm of my hands at them and slowly push them away with a kind of force field that makes me untouchable. One by one, the dogs step down and leave. I keep walking down the boardwalk while repeating mantras and continue to call for the deity. Don't see it anywhere but some lady approaches me offering me t-shirts. I say no and she insists that I follow her. I feel she is up to no good and accuse her of trying to distract me. After insisting a couple times, she walks away but I keep an eye on her as she walks towards the ocean and stays on the sand at the beach nearby. Wonder if she may be a manifeststion of the deity inviting me to come along and I rejected her, but I don't feel it. She passes by me again and leaves a box on the sand. Some girl says this is a gift to me but I am still suspicious of her intentions, so I don't touch it. The box opens by itself and contains gold statuettes of what initially also look like deities, so for a while I think this might be a sign. But as I look closer, the statuettes represent just common people in sex acts, like one lady going down on another and a threesome where someone is banging another from behind. Don't know what all of it means, but I think this is just Mara tempting me with distractions. Then I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

People snapped and turned cannibals. I am barricated with Zilla and some other folks at a school, but we gotta move somewhere else. We know of some secure underground complex which has as entrance at the city park.
Strangely, downtown life seems to still be going very much as normal and we assume the madness hasn't spread here yet, but will. We even pass by some kids from another school playing football at their yard, oblivious. But we don't say a word to anyone. We reach the underground bunkers and there are plenty food reserves down there. We know that when the crisis is all over the place, eventually the government will come and use these bunkers, but we hope that if we're already there, they'll allow us to stay or else we'll fight to stay. The bunker spreads out into weird caves all over seven floors. On one floor there is a giant ballroom with black and white chess floor.

I accidentally deleted this DJ, so this is a brief rewrite.

I went to a city that was underwater. It was beautiful! The water was shallow in most places, just barely peaking above rooftops in some places, so the sun could shine through with bright golden sand below.

There were two young men employed to take tourists out on a boat. They were hiring more workers and I applied. They started training me for the job and I used my dreamer abilities to cheat around the work sometimes when they weren't looking. At one point for example, I had to pull one of the canoes back to the dock and turned into water my dragon for this, using its massive tailfin to paddle back in record time.

Anyway, some slarms started to go off in the city. Another tsunami was on the way, and the two guys called the boss to tell him they were evacuating. Their boss started yelling at them to stay put despite the risks. He was angry at the evacuation, claimed it was scaring his customers away and he didn't want to lose business, so everyone better stay and run the place as if nothing is happening.

It was nonsense. I gave the two guys a big sum of money (that I used my dream powers to manifest secretly) so they could catch one of the evacuation flights last minute. They happily took that and left.

I’m at a concert venue. It is full of people but I don’t think I currently hear any music. I seem to be off to the side of the stage in what feels like a dugout. The crowd starts a circle pit with the inner group moving in one direction and the outer group in the other. At this point, I know it’s a Grateful Dead concert, so this feels very out of place. I see the rest of the crowd sitting on the grass facing the stage and I end up over there. It’s a sea of faded tie dye and friendly faces. I end up next to a girl near my age with two others. We start talking and I mention that it’s my first show. She gleefully exclaims this to those around. In my mind, the year is 1981 and the show is more than halfway over (though it’s fully light out). Thinking of songs I’d like to hear, Morning Dew and Black Muddy River come to mind.
*A movie came on at Blind Dog last night and my guess was that it was filmed around ‘81 due to the hair and clothes styles.



I’m at an empty park with a large play structure. Mark approaches, so I say something like ‘You have something in, I take it.’ He says yes as I walk up to a section of the equipment to grab it for him (I don’t notice anywhere with books or even a shelf). Now we are in what looks like an almost empty living room. Zoe and Nicola are here, each at a computer. Mark is going to order some more; I pull up Amazon on a computer as he sits behind me. The first one comes out to more than $40, to which he gruffly says no. He seems a little less friendly than usual and is wearing darker clothes and a ballcap. I notice and get frustrated with how dim it is in here, so I go to open these blinds just like the ones in our apartment. I twist the rod and every blind looks like it’s starting to split.

I’m in either a pool or hot tub with Melissa. According to its circular shape and small size, it’s a hot tub - I just can’t tell if the water’s hot or not. There are also no jets running. It seems like this hot tub is in a slight alcove and partially covered by a ceiling. We’re facing the rest of the patio; it’s empty save for one younger, blond woman. A teenaged looking girl comes over and asks if we’ll need towels. She seems behind schedule and like she’s doing the bare minimum. Melissa and I glance at each other and tell her no. She comes back in a moment with a roll of paper towels and sets them on the water. I hesitate and then grab them out. Melissa is now sitting close to me in the water and I’m touching her between her legs, under the bathing suit. She is fine with it until I start to go inside, after which she says ‘please stop.’



I’m outside somewhere with Julia and Jessica. The area looks maybe like an empty parking lot beside a park. The trees are flourishing and casting solid shadows to contrast with the golden sunlight. They’ve set up some games, I think as an event for Grassroots. The only one who shows up is a very genial black man and his son (around 7 years old?). One of these games involves a tiny ‘hoop’. I’ve taken it in my hand and inverted it. It feels more like a paper cup and now I worry about getting it back on right. Another looks like a tank on four wheels that can be towed. It’s filled with what looks like different colored cotton balls. I think the ‘hoop’ goes on top and then the object is to drop a marble/jelly bean? and follow it down. The little boy is now playing with multiple soccer balls.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With Nighthawk and Riverstone. We've been talking about this and that and Nighthawk says he misses me. He is sitting to my right and I hold hands with him, My heart is full and I drop one tear down my right cheek that only he can see, because Riverstone is to my left. Then the guys discuss something in private and Nighthawk leaves without even saying goodbye and I feel heartbroken. Riverstone says they talked about us all being together but him being afraid we would have to cut ties with everyone else and I say I don't care as long as we have each other. Then I spot him standing down the road, which goes down hill. Slowly he walks back to us and although we say nothing, my heart warms up again. Then we take to the train station to go somewhere and they simply jump over the gates, not paying tickets. I feel uncomfortable and stop. Then the lady from the ticket office starts yelling we have to pay. Riverstone is adamant in not paying and says to ignore her and I insist in going back to pay. I am disappointed at them. I pay the 3 tickets and it's like 60 cents.

On the train, I meet Zilla and our girl gang. The train fills up after a while, to the point where I feel a bit claustrophobic, so when it stops at a couple stations later, I briefly get out just to get some air. Finally at the last stop everyone gets out, including me and my friends, but I notice I can't find my bag. Now the train is actually a bus and I run to the front door to meet the driver. I ask him to not leave while I go inside and look for me bag. He pretends not to understand what I am saying. He speaks to some dude inside with him in a mix of french and english, so then I try speaking in english and he still says he doesn't understand. I speak in french and then he starts looking at me like he does understand. But he keeps being rude and denying me entrance, so I force my way into the bus and look for my bag under every seat and on overhead compartments. Can't find a thing and he mocks me. I finally give up, but have the feeling he kept driving the bus and we are somewhere else entirely different. So I ask for his help, because I have no ID, no money, no cards and I am lost somewhere in the middle of this city. He does not care. So I get out, thinking about asking a local for the nearest police station, when I realize we are still at the exact same place where people descended from the train/bus. Then wonder about my guys and I hear them yelling from across the road, where they were sitting in a park bench. I run to them and hug them in tears, thanking them for having waited for me. They don't understand why I am so emotional about it, because from their perspective it was like 5 mins and they were always seeing me from their seat. So they say "of course we waited". Then we keep walking to whatever destination we're heading.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my home, my dad is staying at the house too. I want to dress or undress, so I go to the 2nd floor/attic looking for privacy. But then I feel a presence in the darkness and go to the end of the floor to find that my dad is actually sleeping in the bedroom at the end and just woke up. He is surprised to see me, I say I didn't know he was there. Then things turn to a deeply uncomfortable vibe as he gets too close to me and I can feel his boner. I get down the stairs fast but he also comes down. He turns the tv on and there's Ronaldo and other football players gossiping about something, and Ronaldo takes a stand on some issue that no one else seems to care, showing character and. I then turn around and my father is gone and instead there is Riverstone. He is also watching tv on the couch and switches to some remake of an old 60s series. I find it really stupid. It is some kind of super heroes show, but one of them is a clown that comes from the sea and meets the others on the beach bringing an ominous message. Then they embark on a boat, but I think some fall overboard. I think I hear something behind the curtain on the window behind the tv, so I move the curtain and see the window covered in all sorts of insects, large and small. We are grossed out, we get up and shake insects that started crawling over us. There is even a snake on the floor and we run in horror and wonder how these insects entered the house.
Then I go meet my mom by the riverside and I see a dog supposedly fighting a racoon or something at a pier, but soon realize it is a staged fight and the animals are rather playing with each other and someone's editing the sound to make it look like a fight. When mom arrives, she is driving an SUV or jeep and she asks me to get in quick. In the hurry I bump with the door on a car next to this and then our door breaks and falls on the ground. She says "never mind, just take it inside the car and we leave". So we leave, but soon after I shout to her that we need to stop as stuff from the back sit are rolling through under my seat and falling to the outside, like her purse and other items. She halts and helps me pick them up and some dude looking like a drug addict takes the chance to approach the car and sneak inside to steal something. But I block him and force him to put it back. He kinda resists but not an actual fight, so he caves in and puts things back. Then he asks for some money and agree to give him some change. But then all my coins and mom's are either silver and gold or special edition collectible coins and I don't want to give him those. He looks increasingly interested in the coins and makes some snarky comment that we are rich and can give him one of those, but I tell him we are also poor despite what it looks like and we can't afford to give him any of those coins but will keep looking for usable money in our purses. Then Alicja comes by and starts conversation with us. She's heading to a seamstress workshop and I go along. Bring a bunch of my unfinished projects for her to finish I guess. Then walks in some famous dude, kinda reminds me of Tony Stark but a bigger playboy. He brings along his girl to have a dress made for her, but she comes in half naked, with the fabric for the dress just covering her front, her butt exposed. She seats quickly on a chair to my side, to hide her back and gets some sympathy from some other lady also seated. Then what seems like a perfect copy of her comes in, fully dressed and also sits by her side. They take some time to realize, but when they do they are shocked to realize they are versions of the same person. And the first one seems to have no clue of what's happening, but the second one goes straight to the guy, and yells at him for allowing a time paradox to happen with his crazy experiments.

Inspired by a movie I watched during the day, I dream I am sharing a surveilled house in Russia with this gorgeous dude who is an astronaut, his supposed lover which is a bitch and some other dude. Me and the astronaut have been talking a lot and we are clearly in love and going crazy with desire. I am willing to risk everything for a frugal moment of passion with him, but it is close to impossible. There is a meeting in the house, a round table with them 3 and a bunch of other people from outside and I am just standing in the back listening. At some break he comes to me with a book on space stuff, and we get really close and flirt a little bit discreetly. Feels so nice. But his woman sees and attacks me for being so interested in the damn book. Then some genius autistic fat kid joins the meeting and someone pranks him by pulling a chair when he is about to sit. I try to warn him and hold him, but he falls. He still thanks me for being kind. After they are all gone, someone brings us some food for the fridge, the astronaut's woman is gone for a while and I signal him to meet me at the most back room of the house. I get there and it is a dark dirty unwelcoming room. I see images of when the family living there raised a pig on this room. I feel for the pig and see him being taken to die in my mind's eye. There is a stiff bed and I lay there while waiting. I fall asleep and I am out of body watching myself as vampire bats come from god knows where and feast on blood from my leg. I lose hope that he will come, but he does. Unfortunately so do other people and ruin our chance together. Some dude comes talk to him saying he has news about the UFO report. That the government reduced all the supposed unsolved cases to just ten and most were scooters(?) and drones. We realize it is a complete sham to cover up the story and reduce its significance. Anyway, they then announce he his going to get reinstated and receive all the honors and we'll all be free. We get separated and I don't know anything about him for some time. Then it is announced a big event that I watch, maybe on tv, where they all come riding on horses, with strange theatrical fantasy costumes. I see his woman in a sort of wedding dress, so I presume they are also getting married, but then she marries some much older dude and only after much effort I see my astronaut in the back. He is all groomed and fabulously gorgeous. I also see some figure dressed almost like death, all black, very gothic, whispering something to his ear and he abruptly leaves the event. I know he is coming for me so I rush outside to a park. I see in my mind's eye he is also running up a hill to a park, can't tell if it's the same. But I wait and look around. Instead I am approached by a big black dog sniffing me, I pet him, then his owner comes by in a bike and calls him. He runs towards him and knocks down a man in another kind of 3 wheeled bike. I offer help but he manages to get up alone, then looks concerned with 3 guys approaching. They look unfriendly and the others go away, leaving me alone with them. They surround me but do no harm, just laugh and tease me a bit and disappear. Then 3 spectral black ghosts also pass by, turn around and go back. I am getting a bit scared, not knowing what all these mean but have the feeling I am not going to meet my love. Then lots of people come to the park to run, walk their dog or play with their kids and they don't seem disturbed by the ghosts at all.

I am in Dream-Prague with Saimi, showing her some parts of the city I like. She and I have both just recently arrived there, although it seems as if we’re here for entirely different reasons, and the visits just happened to coincide. We seem to be in the northwest region of the city.

The place I’m showing her now is one that not many people know about, a neighborhood of winding streets on a hill, neat rows of houses on either side of the streets – a quiet, peaceful place. The houses are covered with what look like enormous cobwebs, large enough to completely cover most of the roofs. I tell Saimi that in the early morning, when it’s misty, they shine like silver.

We then head down to the tram stop together. This, unlike the webbed streets, is a location that’s familiar to me from a previous iteration of Dream-Prague, although it doesn’t correspond to any waking-life location. On that occasion, the whole area had a much rougher vibe and was also undergoing construction. Perhaps with this in mind, I pull out my cell phone to show Saimi a couple pictures of how it used to look.

I input the password first, which isn’t my waking-life password. This one is also six digits long, and the numbers signify a personally important date – there’s a charged quality to the memories the date pulls along with it. The date is December 22, I think (although I can’t remember the year now, or precisely what the date’s significance was). When I find the pictures, I notice strings of triangular orange flags in some of them, which tells me that I must have taken them during the protests.

The wait at the tram stop is rather long (justified in-dream, I think, by it being a weekend). There’s a whole little scene here with a man who’s decided to teach his dog another song (it already knows two). It’s a large dog, but friendly: it puts its paws on me, almost knocking me over. The song he’s chosen is one of those old, popular ones most people know: it has kind of a jazz standard feel to it, lots of seventh chords and a melancholy tone. The lyrics are in German. I don’t remember what all of them are, though, and nobody there seems to know them all offhand, so I get my phone back out to look them up. While I do, a man in a red shirt sings a version of them in English – although I have the impression he only remembers about half of them and is making the rest up as he goes, and he also starts at the chorus for some reason.

Once the tram arrives, I get my ticket punched – I just have a one-use one since I haven’t been here long. The tram heads straight east, neither turning or changing height so that, as the ground level falls, we’re positioned high enough to see most of the city from above. I look out over it. I’m glad to be back here, and I’m already looking forward to walking around all these places again.

Eventually, the landscape changes. We now seem to be going through a park, which is also familiar to me. I’m puzzled at first – I don’t remember the tram going here. But I do remember seeing the tracks back when I worked in this place, and so it does make sense that it would go here.

The plot seems to have changed now, with the dream partly drawing on memories of the old wildlife hospital, a different time and place. I still used to work here, although in the dream, it seems to be mostly a long-time crew instead of short-term volunteers. It seems as if this iteration also suffers from financial issues and is staffed at about half the level it should be to run it properly. This is currently relevant since the people on the tram are now coming to work here as well, which brings it about to where it should be – in fact, it seems as if I’m taking them here for that purpose.

As we walk through the park, I lead the way. I find everybody together out back behind a building, where they're seated in rows on the ground. As I walk between the rows, I happen to glance down at my own legs and notice I’m wearing brown leather sandals and khaki pants that are cut off at the knee. Not far off is the man who’s in charge of this place, who’s grateful to have so many people coming. There’s a sense that there was once some kind of past tension between us that was wrapped up in why I left, and he’d since come to recognize was his fault. But that all seems to be over now.

There’s conversation now, and something about a ceremony that’s going to take place soon, where Rae, NC and KD’s daughter, will break a staff in two and then remake it.

3.7.21

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At the grocery store, some lady is messing with some guy over his plastic bags and trying to convince him to switch to cotton bags. I am thinking to myself how that ain't necessarily the best option and remembering a video I've watched about it, but I chose to stay quiet because I am sure I'd just add confusion. But then they start talking about environmentally-friendly options in general and other customers join in the debate. At some point the cashier asks us if anyone has tried Iberdrola or Coopernico as energy providers and I say I am a Coopernico client. Someone else claims Iberdrola is 100% renewable and someone else claims they also have nuclear. I am not sure but I say I think not. I still argue that Coopernico is better because it is a national co-op but no one seems to care much about that.

I pass by a festival at a park. The actor Diogo Morgado is playing DJ while dressed as Jesus and embarrasses himself. Everybody laughs at him and someone tells him to get a girlfriend. He strangely replies that I am his girlfriend. I say no way and I get out of there and go for a walk. I am told there is a more underground festival going on at a hidden place in this same park. We have to step on some tires piled up against a wall and go through an opening on that wall into a derelict building with a maze of walls. Across corridors with no roof and some small rooms, lots of punks and hippies sell their crafted jewellery and vegan food. Then some creepier stalls where they pierce us with nails. A dude insists that I go through the procedure, I argue I don't have money but he says he borrows me the money and I pay back later. I run away. There is a food court with tables on an open area. I sit with some friendly looking people but a bunch of lesbian activist girls come bully another girl because she ain't activist and they claim she has to and fight for their rights. I don't like their attitude and shout that it is ok for someone not to be an activist if they don't want to, but they ignore me. I get tired of being there, so I go away through the same place I came.
Evening is falling and I decide to just go for a walk in a quiet place of the park. There are big beautiful trees and no people. Until I spot a dude acting suspiciously, following me from afar. I decide to levitate to a height he can't get me. He tries to reach me by jumping and then he climbs to some kind of terraced building to be at my level and I find his attempt funny, because he is basically stuck there. But I get closer to ask him what he wants from me. He says he just wants to talk. Says he sent me a work related email back in September and he never got my reply. I say I am sorry but surely I never got it or I would have replied. Ask him why he didn't try again or called. Tell him to resend it that I will reply on same day. He is pleased and goes away.

2/24/20

I am in a dinosaur park with friends and family. While walking through a field we see what appears to be a dinosaur trap laid out on the ground, with weighted wires going into the trees, there are toy mini dinosaurs and torn up sheets in the bed of a larger metal frame. We hear kittens meowing from inside but cannot see anything.

The park is very beautiful with large prehistoric trees and shrubbery all around. My cat is running around unleashed and I gather she has wandered too far. Suddenly a large trex with purple and orange colouring starts chasing us from across the field, it's roar echoing our innards. I call my cat loudly and she runs towards us just barely in front of the rex. She makes it to me while we are running and I scoop her up to run towards the treeline. I tell my family we need to get in the dense folliage to escape. We barely make it to safety as the rex tramples the trees behind us. We begin to walk down a path, we tell a worker about the rex we see, but they are also a dinosaur and smile with big teeth.

We are now in a period based town. Everyone wears decorated corsets and top hats. But there is still a dark like and partially gothic tone. I opt for a train ride and leave my family behind in the town to look around and shop. The train is mainly populated by witches and druids. They are all dressed period, but with pagan garb and accessories.

I befriend a girl who is quite short with almond eyes and brunette short hair. She is coy and playful while also being witty and fiercely forward. We get closer and she reminds me she has a boyfriend regularly, it doesn't phase me in the least as I can tell she doesn't care. He seems like some ringleader with small dreads and bright blue contact eyes who is never around her. I gather she is a vampire of sorts, pale skin, morose demeanour yet predatory in her desires. We venture around the train between the different ornate cars from time to time. Taking in the sights of the passing countryside, sharing meals, and playing games. We spend hours laying in bed remembering our lives and gently caressing each other, nothing sexual, just sensually emotive. She tells me she doesn't like what happens to her at night. Unphased at thinking she is a vampire I ask is it because her teeth get longer? I then tell her I always found the taste of blood to be unquenching. To let her know I am unbothered by her condition, and can relate to her. She hardly looks at me but I know she is sad for some reason. We form a strong bond on the trip, perhaps 2 days have elapsed and the journey is coming to a head.

She sits in a booth table along one of the carriages. There is suddenly a great drama stirring the passengers. The people of the car are now united against me. They threaten me with dark magic. I tell them to do their worst as I am unafraid. At once a dozen of them put out their hands and begin making noises with their mouths like they are casting spells. Nothing happens and I shout they are all made up. The train has stopped at a gift shop town with many rooms to purchase trinkets and accessories. I step out on the platform as the witches are still trying to curse me. I outstretch my hand and shout with strong forward intention "Now That Is Enough!" A bright light flashes engulfing the entire area.

As the senses return, it seems the dark gothic vibe of the people in the car has been lifted. Some people file out of the train with completely white eyes, they are pale and nude, almost stupified. The dozen or so who were dark are now stripped barren and pale. I ask someone on the platform what just happened. She tells me that they saw their real leader and were blinded by the truth of it. I ask who they saw. She points to the woman standing next to me. Who is middle aged and still wearing period dress. She smiles and looks at me knowingly. I tell her it is up to her to be good now. She nods in approval and promises to guide in positivity instead of darkness.

I return to the train for the journey back and walk from car to car looking for my companion I spent the trip with. She is no longer in the booth she was sitting in before. I wonder if the darkness lifting has affected her at all. I see her 'boyfriend' sitting off in a corner with some friends. He speaks in normal modern dialect and I gather his curse has been lifted as well, he is no leader and remembers nothing of his previous dark personality. I talk to him briefly and he doesn't recognize me.

I begin frantically going from carriage to carriage looking for her. She really is nowhere to be seen, I didn't see her get off the train and it doesn't make sense she wouldn't be traveling back. It begins to occur to me I may never see her again. A great grief overcomes me as I slump into the nearest chair, just staring into nothingness while I feel my eyes swell. It can't be I think. I knew she had feelings for me. I felt them. I remember the feeling of her skin. Her smile. The sweet smell of her hair. I sit in silence the entire return journey. People merrily chat around me as the mood is now lighter and people laugh while they tell stories of their adventure. I talk to no one.

When we arrive at our destination back where we began, everyone unloads and files into a large brightly lit dining hall, it is period decorated and fancy with many carved fixtures in the walls and chandeliers. I see my family come through large ornate glass doors into the hall to join me. I am sullen and depressed from losing my companion. We all sit at a large round table with white linens and fancy gold place settings. They are still dressed in period clothes holding accessories they picked up in their own respective adventure. They ask me what's wrong. I tell them I am exhausted, it was a 2 day train journey and I just don't feel well. They are concerned but allow me my space as I seem disengaged. I sit calmly not facing the stage, my eyes still heavy and glistening as I fight the nostalgia of my time with her.

Just then a worker walks onto the stage and gets everyone's attention. He thanks all of us for our participation and hopes we all enjoyed our journey on the express adventure. People cheer. He then says he'd like to introduce us to the one who made everything possible. Please give a round of applause everyone to our very own,
Brand new Model 2 Android!
People cheer louder and whistles can be heard.
I turn around to look and see her.
Out of period dress with a skin tight bodysuit and hair styled even shorter to her head.
It was her.
The truth of it hits me like a pile of bricks. I see her eyes avoiding me in the crowd as she glances around the room. Barely smiling she acknowledges the recognition in a sheepish manner. She won't even look at me. I am in complete disbelief. How could I not have known? I stare wantingly but realize everything I knew wasn't even real. The dream fades as I watch her face and the applause becomes quieter and quieter.

Morning of June 9, 2020. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,531-02. Reading time (optimized) 3 min.



My dream begins with indoor-outdoor ambiguity. Although I am in an unidentifiable rural park in Wisconsin before dawn, I am first near a wall that holds the essence of a room when my dream self becomes aware. I am listening to a vinyl LP with my thoughts being that I can change the wording of the spoken audio, which seems to be a business missive. It is as if I am editing and clarifying the implied text with my mind even though it is on a 33 1/3rd rpm record. At one point, I see the individual words on small movable virtual cutouts that I can rearrange on the record’s surface.

I go to a small teardrop camper caravan a short distance away. (It is similar to the image, but its door faces the trailer hitch, and there are two sliding windows on each side.) I want to lie down inside it to rest, but I have to move several clusters of full beer cans that are on plastic yokes. (I have hardly ever drunk beer in my lifetime.) I eventually clear an area through the middle where my body fits, my head at the back. I open a sliding window a short distance, pulling it to the left, above my left, and appreciate the coolness of the fresh air flowing through the screen.

Eventually, the little caravan starts moving. It is daylight now. Looking through the doorway, I see my brother-in-law Bob and my sister Marilyn in the front seat of a car that is pulling the trailer. (They are both deceased, but my dream self does not remember that.) Marilyn looks at Bob (who is driving), telling him that he forgot to unhitch the trailer, and she acknowledges me by looking back. Even so, he continues to drive to the Loomis Street house. I vividly feel the movement, especially as the car goes up a ramp to an overpass. When he drives near three semi-trailer trucks (on the right) that are emitting black smoke, I unhitch the trailer with bodily movement and mentally “drive” it down a different street, now while sitting up in its center. I consider this is legal, as there is a license plate at the back. Even though the caravan only has one pair of wheels, I successfully “drive” it to the Enchanted Forest (a fictitious recurring location in my dreams since childhood, though always different).

I follow a boy down a hallway that opens into one section of the forest that is now part of a resort. There is an enclosed area with small monkeys and an eohippus (miniature prehistoric horse) here and there. One eohippus is lying on its left side (as I am in reality). I wonder if it is alive. The monkeys are only about eight inches tall. I pet a few of them.

I instinctually vivify and sustain my dream by walking on the fence of the enclosure (a dream enhancement routine since childhood), increasing vestibular-cerebral perceptual integration. I look down to my left at a car with its doors open, wondering if the people think I am intruding upon their privacy. After I practice balancing for a few minutes, I jump back down into the animal enclosure.

I discuss the Enchanted Forest with Locke, Sawyer, and Jack from the “Lost” television series. I describe a false memory regarding Jack driving me through an area of the region, which took a couple of days, being that it was of a different dimension that the rest of the resort. I tell them that one section is infinite.

I call them over to look at a beautiful lake after going into “another world” through a door. We gaze at the extraordinary beauty. Several tourists are around, also appreciating the sight. I see a few small fish below the surface of the water and try to perceive more. The vividness and detail are unfathomable.

After several minutes of appreciation, my dream begins to transition again to an instinctual awareness of my body being horizontal in bed, as well as a need to initiate waking (for me to get up and use the bathroom). As a result, I try to open a couple of bathroom doors, but Locke yells about needing to elude someone. It is Rowena King from “Emergence.” We all rapidly crawl on our bellies as does she, though she remains about ten feet behind us. We all crawl quickly on white sand underneath the underside of an unfinished building’s floor as I wake.

---

I am on a computer, looking through files. I’m trying to find papers from an earlier part of the dream where I’d stayed after a math class drawing, and the teacher had brought over a stack of graded assignments he’d apparently been working on while I sat there. I’d just glanced at them and seen that’d I’d done really well on them before taking off, but now I want a closer look, and this was apparently where they were.

I scroll through small pictures, some of which began to move. One has expanded to fill the whole screen. It shows a house on fire, people running out. It scrolls past a small stage on which two double basses stand, one the traditional sort, another more metallic – electric by the look of it, but still a roughly double bass size and shape. It sits in a sort of flower-shaped metal pad. It catches my attention, and I’m struck by the level of detail.

I am now – not sure in what order – both present in the dream and lucid. I’m in a park-like area, a clearing with groves of trees and some woods not far off. Another stage is nearby, this one a roofed circular platform on which sits another of those big electric basses. I consider giving it a try – that could be fun. But it occurs to me that I’ve never produced frightening scenarios in lucid dreams before, and I should try it at least once.

Surrounded by demons is the first thing that occurs to me for some reason. That’ll do. I will them into being. As I focus on the intention, everything around me grows dark, swirling and immaterial. I’m floating, moving vaguely backwards. But nothing else seems to be happening. Oh, well. Maybe I’ll give that bass a try after all.

I let go of the intention. The original scene immediately returns, and I walk back towards the area I started out in. But not far from it, by a ridge in front of a forested area, I spot a strange figure. Its head looks like a skull, bovine in shape, with horns that curl around to the front and knot around each other, and it’s wearing a black and white herringbone tweed blazer with a thin purple scarf and a long grey-black skirt. It looks like I managed something, at least, although I can’t say it’s especially scary.

As I approach, it waves its hand, causing a small sphere of darkness to shoot towards me. This startles me a bit, but it doesn’t seem to have any effect. I keep walking towards it, ignoring its attacks. As I pass the pavilion, I notice the instrument sitting there looks different now. There are also now a number of cats up under the roof, lying in big cat piles that seem to extend upward into tunnels. They seem to just be waking up. The grey and orange tabbies stay where they are, but a few black cats stretch and jump down onto the stage.

As I turn back towards the figure, I see that it is now a cat as well – a small black one. I pick it up. It doesn’t look happy with being held, but it makes no attempt to escape.

At that point, I wake up.

9.1.20

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I have a friend who is a hacker or whatever and he has done amazing things. I am part of his activist group. He is being searched for by the authorities, but he leaves in a really strange place. A 10 sq mt glass house on top of a storage room, in a park, by the side of a kindergarten. One day I come by to tell him they might have found him and tell him to at least shut all his curtains. I help him out and just then, a van with 3 suspicious people stop by the kindergarten. A lady is driving and the two dudes wear shirts with the kindergarten logo, but they carry metal suitcases and enter through some backdoor to a service area. Clearly they are here to spy on him. I tell him he needs to leave asap as they are just gathering info to send in a SWAT team or something, if it isn't already positioned. His front door doesn't even close properly. I ask him for some alternative exit and he opens a trapdoor to the storage beneath and from there, there is a back door they provably don't know about because it is invisible from the outside. Then we make a quick run to some trucks stopped a few meters away. But they already had some big guys surveying the area who spot us and come after us. They were taken by surprise, so we have a head start. We split and I enter a warehouse. More agents come and one lady surprises me with a taser. But I grab something like a metal lid from a shelf and protect myself from her shot. Then manage to go around her and snatch the taser from her. She struggles a bit but I manage to get it and hit her with it. Then another guy comes and is also tasered. Then another. I run away. There is some sort of heavy metal festival on the park outside. I run to the crowd but I don't mingle so well with the people which is mostly wearing black and covered in tattoos. There is a lesbian film festival going on at a building, after some food stands and I blend better with the ladies there, but they still spot me. I mingle with the crowd of the metal festival again and head to closer to the main stage, where there is more chaos. Then a bunch of people in black faux leather surround me and tell me to lay low and I understand they want to help. They effectively make a human shield hiding me from my chasers. They safely escort me like this to a safe place at the periphery of this festival and take me to meet some old lady with grey hair that looks a bit like Judy Dench, at some corridor of a service area of a building. She tells me they are going to help and that they will come to take me soon to a safe place, but for now they must release me again in he world. She asks me to stay inconspicuous for a few days. I ask what about my friends and she tells me not to worry because they are also taking care of it. Then they tell me to cross the door and go back out and I find myself in a hotel lobby.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Some animal rescue organization tells me there are some cats at a derelict building, which they feed, but fear for them because the building was vandalized during the night. They ask me to go check. When I arrive there I find Rinpoche in casual clothing feeding some kittens and surprised to see me. There is no time to talk as some other people immediately also join us. We look after the kitties.

Later I walk through a park and find a baby duck walking by himself in a strange place. I kneel and he jumps on my lap. I cuddle him in delight. Then spot a lake with other ducks and take him there. But he jumps out of the water and again to my lap. I feel like adopting him but not the best idea.

Go to some expo, don't know what about, but spot some food area and go there. They have Mexican and South American inspired food, all vegan. I wait in line to order something. Try to read the menu but don't know what anything means.