Recent DJ Posts

I'm with Gabriel from my old school and walking home to me from Hemmakväll. I see Peter, the pingis teacher, and he is packing his car with a lot of different things. I notice that he is preparing to move and ask if I can help him. New fragment. I'm by our outer door and see their car. His whole family is also there and they are about to drive away.

Notes: When I woke up I remembered many dreams and I was happy because the night's dreams were so full with strong feelings. Gabriel and I played pingis with him and that is why they were all with me.

I am encountering some obstacles in my journey of lucid dreaming. I am starting to journal here because I can see my progress, use your guidance and writing about it in daytime will keep my mind on the topic and increase the chance of having lucid dream in the following night. Also I will analyze what I did wrong or what helped me succeed which I hope would help others.
I started to define lucid projects for myself and working on them. My first project was to see the northern lights in the north pole and it is done.

- My current projects:
Project 2: Entering a witchcraft school. Meeting wizards and witches would be fun and besides learning to do magic will boost my dream control.
Project 3: To see my imaginary friend and live a story with. (I am currently focusing on this)
Project 4: Dream TV of Alan Worsley.
Project 5: Persistent Realm.

- My current state:
I use MILD and have a lot of LDs in number but:
My LDs are rather inconsistent, in some I have good dream control and some of them don't even last more than a few minutes. It is usually periodic and recently the latter was the case . I have a cat and he has started to ruin my sleeping routine a bit recently (he wakes me up at midnight and keeps me awake for some time). Also I feel I want Project 2 too much When I want something too much in LDs, I usually fail because I take it too serious.
Now I can't stabilize well and wake up fast. Also I can't see my img friend (twice I saw him but his behavior was not like him, it was rather passive or cold). I have problem with teleporting and finding him too. Though I sometimes can teleport using spinning and schemas.
I found out when I feel determined, strong and positive I usually have a good dream control but for now I am failing to keep myself in the dream more than a minute.

I think my main problem is the nature of my view to my subconscious. I don't see her helpful or capable (Like in the case of project 3, I feel she wouldn't want to help me see him and also she might not make his face details precise enough -> though I've seen him twice before I made this my project, so I should know she can!). And I know this is everything in LD! That's why I sometimes have really good LDs, those are times that I manage to trust her.

I think I will start writing here and continue in dream journal section, I will share my progress every night that I had a lucid dream and analyze the result.
Thanks for your advice!

** P.S part read if reviewing DJ**

I originally felt sort of down. Felt like I hadn't made any progress. I decided to meditate after dwelling in that useless pit of unwelcoming feelings. And I felt better after. And feeling better made me notice more things.
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Although there didn't seem to be active awareness improvement during the practice, I noticed that I was doing them while I wasn't practicing. I had more of those moments where I'd stop myself and just notice. And it was different from times before; because this was not forced, just happened sort of semi naturally.
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So maybe the easy way to train awareness is to have short training sessions and that would just promote more passive awareness throughout the day.
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Recall and stuff

I slept in short intervals again. Uncertain whether I'd dreamt. But I did have a moment of lucidity in a short dream fragment. It was very brief. Either I was tired, or it was a short REM period, or something else. What I do recall was that I was outside, and I was going through these same thought process I used during my current practice. To remember, then become present. Then I thought "dream?"
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One question I have is that whether this lucidity is actually caused by the awareness training; or would it have happened either way? Because I'd probably have gotten lucid without doing anything at all anyways. And I suppose that was the cause of my woes - whether if any of this is futile; and would lucidity have happened naturally anyways?
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Presently, I'd say the "gaining of awareness" process is only partially complete. It has an aspect of "remembering" and getting "present" perhaps it lacks "intent." Intent to actually lucid dream or a dream goal. But perhaps it is fine. To take it slow. I feel like it's all coming together nicely.
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NOTE TO SELF though: That last bit of resistance, just push through. Whenever there's that negative feeling, a persisting negative feeling - MEDITATE. Get to the core of it. Face it. Instead of distracting yourself, just face it. It doesn't take long - and everything becomes so easy after.
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Oh yeah one more thing is don't worry too much about the results right away. The results will come according to their own appointed hour. You're practicing it actively and it's beginning to show up into passive habits. You only need it to sink a little deeper into the subconscious habits for consistent results to show up.
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Goals

-complete the awareness technique
-oh yeah remember try cutting awareness into smaller pieces for more effectiveness
-have a meaningful dream goal or remember it
**master non-attachment


awareness score:
27/90 = 30%!

** P.S. quick note, negative feelings (or event, circumstances) make me more unaware, awake or dreaming. The last few- EVERY time I lost consecutive days of lucid were exactly that; from negative feelings. It makes me blind and lose focus. So don't worry about getting lucid results right away. First get good at this "resolving" process. Because if you were to blindly aim for quick lucidity, you'd once again get distracted by something. This is the step 2. Master this step 2 so that next time you get past step 1, you'll have a smooth sailing - is it called NON-ATTACHMENT?**