12/1/20 I am at a school lock-in at a large period style manor with my old classmates. I saw her dressed in an all black victorian style dress walking calmly, standing out in the crowd she is graceful and glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. We walk by each other, I notice her notice me but I do not acknowledge her as I walk slowly with my hands behind my back. I don't see her again. I am with a group of guys who look like power lifters wearing singlets. We are all cutting up laughing. We put wigs on and joke loudly about starting a strip club, girls line up for us to jokingly grind on them while trapy thump music plays in the background. The joke gets old. It's time for bed and we're all herded into different rooms. They are large dormitory style rooms only the beds are also large, some have several pillows on them. I don't see any open beds really so I sleep at the foot of one of the large beds. They are all kids now, I am unsure if I am also a kid. Another kid lays down next to me unaware there are pillow positions. I ask him if he wants the other bed next to us, he says no, I am fine with it and fall asleep anyway. In the morning time the old nanny-like ladies are waking us up We are all standing around them as the introductions are happening. There are laminated numbers hanging from the ceiling. I gather we will be here for a few weeks. The room starts to rotate and I see out the windows a line of coloured small circus style tents outside that the african american boys were sleeping in. I think I want to sleep outside the next night as the segregation is totally unfair. I look and most of the boys inside are african american too, I am confused. The caretaker (who looks like Paterson Joseph) outside tells us while standing on a ladder that this place has history and our water comes from the creek which has had slaves shitting in it for centuries and we should feel lucky to have this history in our water. We are all sprayed at once to shower and brush our teeth. I continued brushing my teeth after and am scolded by one of the nannies. The morning chores begin I am the oldest one so I am unsure what to do and wander around. They are preparing food in the kitchen so I offer to cut stuff up. Everyone is using their hands instead of utensils and all the counters are cutting boards. He hands me a few slices of pineapple to dice. I take them to a station and grab a knife. The blade has been bent twisted sideways so it is not straight holding the handle. I cut them up anyway. Walking around more they are spreading new concrete/floor sealer in one of the rooms and a boy is being charged with the activity with two adult guardians. The older guys tell me they do this every 2 days or so. The kid does a horrible job spreading as the coloured dye on top doesn't swirl right and they bash him for it. I tell the guys I am massage therapist and kind of the all around guy so I can do many things. One of them asks me about a rumour he heard about Massage therapists having all the right words to sell their craft but their skill is sometimes lacking. I go in on the topic of there being too many therapists in my state so there are plenty who don't take their practice seriously. He tells me he can tell I am smart one and we should get along just fine. I am in a cooking competition like master chef. Another stressful one. It is the first challenge and we are tasked with making a dish that describes us, we only have 45 minutes. We can only use the ingredients we brought with us. I wanted to braise some pork but don't have the time. I am standing next to that one bald guy with glasses and neck tattoos. Everyone is far more experienced than I am. He mentions going across the street to get some ingredients and asks if I need anything, I still haven't decided what I will cook and spend most of my time brainstorming. My box is full of frozen meat and reminds me of my deep freeze. No time to dethaw. I end up cooking some small chicken pieces that were marinaded. There is a small garnish station set up so I make a small salad like garnish on the side. I remember I have some rice as well and make a fried spanish rice in a cup form next to my chicken slices on a long plate with the leafy greens on the end. Gordon yells at me for making a salad. This is the worst meal I have made in my entire life. I am ashamed. There are maybe 20 people all at their desks in the competition. A kid who only got one vegetable on his plate ends up going home. I am relieved but still believe I am the worst one here. Snipers pin down me and some kids at a hilly mountainous home. Drama drama drama A mounty looking navy seal guy shows up and I task him with helping us. He sees the snipers and throws me his huge binoculars. I hold a 4 wheeler while he starts it on a hill to go to a better vantage point. He dies a gorey death sliding down a skiing lift cable, gets cut in half and his upper half lands on top of a cooked hog sitting on a picnic table. He screams the whole way. Things wind down and the house is now a run down hillbilly home with just 2 somewhat disabled people living in it. I walk down the driveway and they have a vendors tent set up selling only various types of plastic pencils. One of them looks like an ice cream cone and I ask if this is the only edible one.
Updated 12-02-2020 at 12:56 AM by 51110
1st December 2020 Dream: By the end of a dream sequence. I remember some editing interface, like video game authoring tools and sort of in focus, there's a female furry character. A white wolf lady with red-ish accents on the hair on her head. She was part of some kind of animated sign or billboard and had a stylised drawing look to her. I felt curious or interested, but distant in terms of personal connection. I scrubbed through the animation a few times. The surrounding area looked like an alleyway of some kind, a street. There were metal-ring fences and such like, some warehouse type buildings. Sunset. In the editing interface there was some sort of point and click thing that allowed me to find the source files of textures, sounds, anything really, as long as it was visible in the dream reality and I had the correct and corresponding editing suite module in interface focus. (recall gap) Near the end of a second dream sequence. I was walking around with JC, from school, in a town I don't recognise. Not dissimilar from the previous area, but morning time instead now. It was an industrial/commercial estate type area and there were covid-related queues for getting into shops. I remember feeling I had no patience for such things (queuing etc) right now. JC was as I remember him; soft face, somewhat short but around the same as me in reality. Perhaps he seemed shorter because he still looked younger. We walked past a car stuck in a queue at the entrance to a parking lot area, part of a superstore/shop. It was a blue colour, cerulean like? Like a VW Beetle, but not? JC was in a suit, kind of like JSco might have. He was infantile and yet, mature in some sense. That's how I always felt about him, I now realise. I have my casual clothes on. Sweat pants or whatever which I wear both for lounging and for work. Black nylon t-shirt. As we walked, he commented "I want some GTA pussy, you know?". I don't remember replying. Then he continued "It's been a long time." His voice didn't sound at all like his actual voice and he spoke in perfect English with none of our native accent. I didn't notice any of this during the dream. I remember as we walked along I thought to myself "Great, he's gonna be trying really hard, I'm gonna not be caring and one of these girls will just hit on me instead of him; that would be typical." We reached some dead-end looking bit. Concrete-y. Breeze blocks or something like that made up a low wall, damming up earth and whatnot. There may have been a staircase up and through one part. On the top of this low wall, there were heads, some kind of digital representations/avatars or holograms of girls from the neighbourhood and the local school (college/high school). There were a lot of fake blondes? I forget how the heads looked exactly but they didn't seem out of place, somehow. JC sort of inspected each one as we kind of circled around this bit. The dream ended soon after, I was woken up by the door. Notes: - It's possible these were two separate dreams, but I had a feeling they were linked in some sense. - JC is one of many friends I had at school that I got along with fairly well, but characteristically, after college I never really heard from him again and he didn't seem too interested in keeping in touch. I remember walking with him in town a few times and having long conversations, probably mostly about games though. - Although we shared a common name, physically we were very different and though he wasn't any weaker than me, I always thought he appeared somewhat meek. In this dream he sort of had an aura of over-confidence contradictory to how I knew him, which would have been more over-cautious than anything. In essence, the dream character as a persona was someone else, but took on his physical appearance. In the dream I was my current age, but perhaps with a younger style of thinking. - I may have seen a furry character before like the one in the first part of the dream, though I'm not certain if my brain was referencing anything specific. It felt like she was her own original thing, despite what I might consider to be a stereotype representation. -- On further thought, I found out about the sub-culture when I was in my mid-teens, which was also around the same time as I knew JC. - I don't know what the "GTA pussy" thing was about really, but even in the dream something felt out of place about it. Part of me realised on typing my initial notes that we really have no control over what our friends say sometimes and how we have to just get on and live with it or do something about it and potentially get into a conflict with them. - My over-analytical view of this dream is suggesting to me now I should probably try to do some more serious inner work on these subjects.
Updated 12-03-2020 at 10:30 PM by 95293
Don't feel like DJ but will write out notes to expand for later if that seems more interesting later. 2020 11 28 Zombie rounds, waypoint, redo + failed (gun doesn't work, short knife) Crocodile school lady chicken ff7 like Paul yugioh - message : be yourself -meditation sloppy 11 29 Triad/mafia comedy hands (stephen chow - story about a young man being mistake for a gang leader) Run away pedestrian roads waterfountain "karen" (hive mind) + lucid moment (oh I"m dreaming) thought: awareness + feeling brings it about 11 30 1 lucid moment (noticing awareness) some dream, no note - remember now. MOm backyard, MOLES stabbed. Girl dad knife stabbed poison kidnapped. Detective POV now. (knife short again - reoccurring theme) 2 lucid moments dream vision + something else (was awareness) -find your own way... be yourself. -wbtb alternative? (background voice?)
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