lucid

Well, a close-ish call with getting to the Pyramid and some fun play with a few new techniques. Still have a lot of refining to do!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #168: Pyramid Artwork

I have a false awakening where I wake up excited about some video game idea. I’m desperate to write it down. I grab my dream journal, deciding that’s the best place I’ve got to write the idea down. This makes me think of dreaming, though, and I become lucid.

I walk toward the window, glancing over at the bed as I go. I see Wife sleeping peacefully on my side of the bed, and my sleeping body is nowhere in sight. I’m amused by the unusual layout and note that this is definitely not an OBE. I think about saying something to Wife as I pass but decide to just leave her alone.

I phase out through the external wall, winding up in the void. I imagine the scene as it should be, though, and after a few seconds it works itself into a convincing replica of my street at night. This gives me a nice confidence boost, so I imagine that the Great Pyramid is behind me. I turn around to find that it hasn’t worked, though, and it’s just more houses as far as I can see.

I’m feeling aggressive, though, so I use my fingers to draw a triangle in the distance. The triangle isn’t perfect, but it comes out in a shimmering neon green. With some focus, I’m able to slowly change the green outline into the distant Great Pyramid!

Seeing the Pyramid gives me a target to be excited about so I immediately attempt a zoom teleport. Something goes wrong, though, and the Pyramid actually gets further away rather than closer to me. This frustrates me and I start making a half-hearted attempt to fly there instead.

The scene resets somehow and I’m in a huge aircraft hangar. Okay, starting over. Again I go for the “draw a triangle” trick and I get a decent-looking triangle. I try to change it into the Pyramid but it stays stubbornly neon and triangular.

Several other attempts follow, including erasing and redrawing the triangle, chopping the top of it off and reforming it into a trapezoid, and drawing several copies at once. I can never quite make any of this work before the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #167: In the Game

My friend “Leroy” and I are meeting with another programmer at a restaurant to discuss a video game design decision. We’re seated outdoors having an animated discussion about some finer point of the design of a first-person shooter video game.

The dream turns from a discussion of the concept into the three of us actually in the game, all armed with sci-fi style weaponry and fighting for our lives against some kind of menacing cyborgs.

There’s one particular boss character that can warp in from out of nowhere, making him especially dangerous. and we’re debating the best way to face him down. At first we talk about hunkering down somewhere kind of back to back, but in the end decide to get to higher ground and try to ambush him.

I believe on some level that this is a video game and as the three of us storm up a gently turning ramp, I marvel at the “graphics” of the game. I wonder how the game would look with lower graphical detail, and immediately everything looks pixellated and 90s. This is enough to make me realize that this is a dream.

I continue to the top of the ramp. Leroy is still with me but the other programmer has vanished. We’re in a high-ceilinged room with organic, alien-looking walls, perfect for the setting of the game we’re in. Everything feels far less threatening now and I feel sure that the cyborg isn’t coming after us any more.

My youngest son R (2 years old) is running around here. He runs into me, bounces off my leg, and goes sprinting happily away again. A girl from my oldest son’s class wanders by with her mother. She looks like she’s a couple of years older than IWL and her hair is twisted into an unusually long braid that encircles her head.

The girl takes R’s hand and begins leading him toward a downward ramp. I step in front of them and sort of herd them back onto the platform, feeling uneasy about them wandering off into the world of a first-person shooter. Then other kids start showing up, some that I recognize, others that I don’t. They start wandering in various directions and I fretfully start trying to keep everyone together.

It takes me a moment, but I finally realize that I need to just let this go. I watch as the kids wander off various directions. The girl with the braid leads R out of sight down a ramp. It feels strange to just let this happen, but I sense that if I just relax, everything will be all right. As the kids disperse all around me, the dream transitions into a false awakening in my bed.

I roll out of bed, grab my journal, and prepare to write down the dream. Just as I’m doing this, I hear my oldest son E shout over the baby monitor that “Daddy!! I! Need! Waterrrrrr!!” I put the journal down, hoping that I can remember the lucid dream for later, and head off to help E. I perform a few mundane steps of this before the dream ends.

00:00 Thursday 2013-11-28 (LD #10)

00:00 ? bedtime

03:06

1) riding on a skateboard down a wide, flat, smooth street. I'm going pretty fast and I really enjoy this sensation. Up ahead I see PJ in the distance. I'm on the very front tip of the skateboard. Visuals are very bright, vivid. I see my father walking under some trees up ahead, he seems young and happy. See also my mother off to the right.
04:25 no recall (recorded 03:00 waking dreams at this time, fell asleep at 03:06)
can't return to sleep. after 30 minutes get up to rocking chair, for about 20 minutes. Visualize parent's house and neighborhood, reinforce "I'm dreaming." Move to kitchen, make and drink warm milk. Sit there massaging jaw. Do some relaxing breaths. Decide I feel sleepy, return to bed and fall asleep in not too much time.

06:00 BTB

07:36 (alarm)

2) movie theater taxi driver money tatoo kicking buying snacks at table don't have enough cash in the store there's a security guard can't get by, think about eating it and putting it back on thes shelve, at a table with young people they're laughing I don't have enough change to buy the snacks, I empty my pockets including a chestnut, I say this chestnut is awesome it's worth lots of stuff, I'm missing just a few cents to buy the snacks, I have to back.
I'm at the top of a sandy hill, I turn around and see my wife is coming up behind me, I jump down the face of the sandy hill and slide/ski all the way down to the bottom near the water it's lots of fun, my wife laughs behind me watching, it feels awesome. Arrive on the beach near the water, my wife is behind me, I think it will be awesome to live near the beach and come here every day. There are strange plants around. Two inspectors arrive and are asking for paperwork I think they're after me because I haven't paid yet for the snacks They're harassing my wife I leave quickly to go pay and get receipts, I'm on the way back, I'm in a starnge tilted room, I see a very dirty priest walking from left to right behind me.
I go fowards now in a car open to the sky (like a top-down convertible), there's a bus, at an intersection, I'm in a hurry to get to pay for things, there's lots of traffic, the busses I see are very ornate, old 1950's style A/C transit buses, I'm confused/surprised by this.
I'm in a taxi with a bunch of other people, they're laughing, I'm in the back seat, some guy is pushing through to the right I'm trying to protect my place but he gets there. There are a bunch of movie theaters all around. I think what am I going to do at this movie theaters I should have stopped at an ATM. The driver starts driving and passing the theaters, I call out "stop stop let me off here." Driver makes some comment. I think I have no money for food how can I pay for the taxi? It turns out the fare is only a dime because it's the olden days. I think what sort of tip to give: nickel or penny?
I imagine the taxi driver takes these pennies and puts them in his pocket, and there's a hole at the bottom of in his pocket and the coin rolls down his leg into his shoe. The pennies are safe there but If he's really rolling in the dough the coins will make a lot of noise when he walks.
You don't mess with taxi drivers because they'll kick you so hard it will stop your development. I'm thinking about kids who have strange facial features because they're development is impaired and their different parts age at different rates. Taxi driver has tatoos all over his leg in green/blue, words.

Concentrated on relaxing: relaxing breaths, doing deeper and deeper into relaxation on every exhale, releasing tension, keep doing it, keep eyes relaxed and unfocused, and got back to sleep.

09:00 BTB for nap

10:12

3) in a dorm building looking for my room. I'm on the wrong floor because I've been in a different room. I'm studying with some loud (classical? opera?) music playing on a stereo. There was another guy in the room complaining that guys in the hallway were too noisy (playing violin?) he says he'll never be able to sleep he has to get up early. I'm in this room becaues I need to get up early, too. He asks me to go outside to talk to them and quiet them down. I say sure I put on my shirt and my shorts, he starts to go out, I say hey I'll do it but I have to put on my shorts first, he talks to them they say something about OK, I realize I'm playing loud music myself, I approach and old looking CD player and look for, find, and press the stop button. I'm flexing my muscles, in my underwear, windows open wide to the outside, I imagine girls in other dorms could be looking in.
Go into hallway looking for my room I want to tell my roommate where I am. I was in this other room for a night maybe two. I look into a room, there's an older guy and girl, they're RAs probably, older, he says, "Oh, Hi (my name)", and I'm amazed he knows my name, I'm not on his floor, he must know the name of everyone in the building. I say "sorry, forgot I was on the wrong floor," I go down some stairs still looking for my room, I pass an attractive girl going up the stairs, (I helped her with something?) she says something, make a brief connection, but continue on. Farther I see a french-looking female student with goggly eyes and I think "nah, not my type don't want to pay her any attention."
End up in a place with a weird old woman I think is my mother (no resemblance to real mother) and some other guy, "I don't like how things are around here, I like things the way I like them." Then she gets upset and starts saying "Oh, this is not the time to have this conversation not with this guy (our friend's name the man) over." I get a close up of her lower face and mouth. She has a weird thick beard on the neck under her chin, a thick bristly dark hitler-ish mustache under her nose, and is chewing a massive pile of gum in the left side of her mouth which is open. The gum looks like a piece of a cotton mop with individual strands. It's quite a disgusting sight. It's yucky.

12:14 Lucid Dream LD DILD #10

4) ... fair amount of prior ND detail I felt, but couldn't recall
Approaching a building, want to enter to get something, it has security. The security guy had blown someone else's head off with a shotgun that looks like a water cannon the kind that you extend out, fill up, then push the parts together, but this was a shotgun. Security guard is shooting at me, I'm leading him around corners , I try to time it so I go around the corner and wait for him to turn the corner so I can surprise him to shoot him.
I'm in a room, it's dark/night-time lying on a bed, there's a spider wafting towards me on a strand of web, I try to blow it away, blow blow blow it doesn't go far away, it climbs rapidly up its web towards the ceiling above me. Then there's another spider, and soon there are many rapidly multiplying juicy puffy-body squishy nasty spiders. They were freaking me out, I didn't want to squish them with my hands I was looking for something to over my hand like a glove so I could squish them they were everywhere and multiplying, more and more and more were appearing. They're growing to the size of large snails, sitting on the wall in lines. I get up to leave the room, and as I leave the room I stop in my tracks and do a double-take, and say "Wait a minute, this is like a dream, I must be dreaming" and I am lucid. It felt very realistic. I looked back into the room, it's day-time/light, there's a window looking outside. the spiders may be all gone, but I thrust my left hand forward and willed a bolt of fire from my left hand on to the floor in the room. It appeared and was 1/2 translucent and made nothing burn but I saw the bolt. I tried to shoot lightning bolt but nothing happened. Did another fire blast. Went back in to the room and thought "stabilize." Rubbed my hands together, counted to 5, then patted up and down my body with my hands: chest, stomach, legs. I looked down at my body and I saw my naked chest and stomach. I saw my underwear and reach down to have a look inside, "It's going to be big" I think, it turns out to be normal sized. It seems a bit greasy like there was lotion on it. Everything is *really* realistic.
I'm in this bedroom, then I go outside. It's like a garden path in an apartment complex, lots of tall plants off the path. Lush vegetation. A swimming pool complex comes up on the left. Some people (3 girls?) are leaving it. I think "oh don't leave the pool!" (I'm looking for a hottie). There's a gate, I enter the pool area. I'm looking for a cute female, everyone I come across is not attractive / old. I tell myself "I'm dreaming, remember, you're dreaming, I'm dreaming." I walk more into the pool area. I do a RC at this point because I start to wonder if I'm dreaming because everything is so life-like, the people and the grounds. Check hands, they are not bizarre like last time, fingers were stable but longer than in life, and a little bit translucent. I'm pretty sure I'm dreaming and nose pinch confirms it solidly. "OK, I'm dreaming" I say. Looking at a woman off to the right, look at some people in the pool off to the left, I go and look at them, I'm not finding anyone to my taste, then I think "Hey what am I doing? Just summon!" So I did a hand-behind-the-back summon of PT. I put my right hand behind my back, say "PT, take my hand!" wait a few seconds, and slowly pull my hand around to the front (didn't feel a solid hand connection), and there is PT! I looked at her and said, "Yeeeeaaah, you're PT!" Face may not have been precise but height/age/general look was right. I tried to kiss her, she didn't want to. I look into her face and say, "You want it!" Then move to kiss her. Her face became flat and her lips were thin/unsatisfying/unresponsive, I must have closed my eyes, and I fade to awake.

Half-hearted attempt to DEILD back in but don't make it, didn't really try very hard. I may have moved. Wanted to record because I felt like I started to forget, in fact I at first didn't recall the body-pat stabilisation and dream body inspection.
Elapsed time: ~4-5 minutes. Longest or tied for longest LD so far. Definitely most visually vivid/realistic. No dream fuziness at all, this is first time I had a touch of doubt in the middle of the dream because of realistic visuals. Maybe also because it was a bit longer than the others. Patting the whole body, bringing my dream body into my vision, produced very stable and vivid visuals. Didn't look around as much as I had planned to. First time see dream body. Dream body is a bit leaner / in better shape than now . My younger self.
Dream in S2's bed, LD on right side.
My relaxation technique works! Relax, don't try to WILD or force sleep, relax, unfocus eyes, release tension from body on every exhale, go deeper and deeper into relaxation on every exhale, don't "come back up higher" on inhales. The drowsiness/sleepiness feeling came on immediately upon the exhale of the relaxing breath at both the 09:00 BTB and 10:12 waking. Probably could have kept on dreaming but it's Thanksgiving and I had to shop for dinner.
Happy that I performed most of practiced new stabilization: body pat, look at body, count to 5.

#245 - DEILD - 7:23AM

I have a really long dream about riding a white horse in a field at night. I am riding bare back and take it slow at first. Then I get some nerve and decide to run but every time I held on by hugging the horses neck it would slow down. Finally I take it into a crappy and confusing barn. I lose the horse for a minute and find it curled up sleeping in a small cage on a shelf. I say something about how sleepy it must have been. A woman shows up and asks, rather apologetically, if she scared me. I thought she was being weird since I showed no signs of being scared at all. I say something about the horse and how small it looks. The woman says its just tired from supporting all my weight. I look at her funny wondering if that was a fat joke. She's bigger than I am.

I half wake up or maybe it was just an FA. I feel like I am in that halfway point and there are mild vibrations. I partially open my eyes and see my wife is gone. (True she went to work) I focus on the vibrations and they get stronger. I falter and almost don't do it but then I tell myself I should just go for it. I slowly roll over to get out of bed. I note how I can feel my feel my sleeping body not moving but I can also feel my dream body easily moving. At that point I decide to just quickly stand up.

I get up and go into the living room. I am a little surprised how vivid and stable the dream is. I rush to the front door and open it. I feel like I am just in my underwear but try to ignore it. There are beautiful huge piles of fall coloured leaves along the street with piles of pumpkins. I note how curious this is but pause because I remember my goal to look at my tattoo in the mirror. I go back in the living room to the large mirror above the couch. When I look I see my face looks fairly normal but my tattoo looks small and stupid. Its basically three main lines forming a bird's head. I look closely and trace the lines with my finger to remember it.

The sound of my son's waking and crying jolts me out of the dream.

Fragment:

There was a Dream Views book with all my posted dream printed in color on quality paper. It see my avatar and start reading but its all gibberish. I think they could have at least edited all my typos.

#244 - DILD
I get to bed early at 7:30pm! This is a weak LD but I am going to count it considering how random and aidless it was.

1:26am

I am driving some place and my wife calls me. She leads me to my old house that I lost during my divorce and bankruptcy. I pull into the driveway and go in. She is there and tells me that she was able to buy it. I spend some time talking to her about it and at one point to go ahead and do a nose plug. I blow through but I am not sure this is right. I do a second nose plug and know this only happens in dreams. I am so happy about her getting my house back and my wife still talking so much that become too distracted to think about this much.

We talk some more and my wife tells me that the payments are only $166. This seems like it's too good to be true so I ask how that can be. I ask her about insurance and taxes. I hope that the actual payments somehow match what we are used to. I say, "You must have got one hell of an interest rate."

As if she suddenly gets an idea, she say, "I did!" We go on to talk about this some more but I am not totally convinced. I feel something is off. She says, "I don't know. I just showed up with $800 down and was able to buy it."

I ask, "Where did you just get $800 without me noticing?" She gives no reply. In fact, she has gone brain dead like so many of my DC's in past. I think this has to be a dream but I am so hopeful this is all somehow true that I chose to ignore this. I wonder if she donated plasma to save the money.

As if she read my mind, my wife says, "I donated plasma to save up the $800." I think this is my own thought and must be a dream. Again, I don't want to believe this. I begin to wonder how all of this is possible. The last I knew, someone bought this house. How did the lose it so fast? Is this house cursed? The people before me got divorced and sold it. I got divorced and lost it. Maybe the people after me got divorced too. I don't want to end that way again. I resolve that whatever the curse well will break it.

I am lying in a bed cuddling with my wife. I tell her how happy I am about all of this. I look out the window and see two giant wild boars. I say, "Look! Boars! One looks like it has a turtle shell on it's back. "Turtle pigs?" I look closer and see that the one that I thought was a turtle actually has a box on its back. The dream fades and I wake up.

I am really pissed that it wasn't real!

I feel wide awake and decide to have a mini WBTB and SSILD

4:34AM

Some guy sees a huge storm brewing on radar in South Africa.

The scene skips to him in South Africa. He is standing on a hillside watching an enormous storm roll in. There is thunder and lightning. He is worried about this being something on a global scale.

This is a man surfing as the storm rolls in. He is taking advantage of the huge waves. I feel as if I am in the barrel roll with him. Suddenly the wave stops and there is a wall of waving clear light or maybe it is a water probe like in the Abyss. It is coming for him. He puts the board up in protection but a tendril juts forth and pokes holes in it. There is a wall of air to the left. It seems like atmosphere. A voice says something about "to the ends of the Earth".

Suddenly, I am in a mall that is just off the beach. I know the wall of.. energy?.. Is coming. Everyone is panicking and looting. I pause at some store and pocket some cheap jewellery. The shop owner sees me but lets me go. I pass an actual jewellery store but it has been cleaned out. I mentally kick myself for missing that one. There are some thuggish looking dude walking off with a chest full of jewellery. I feel envious of them.

Suddenly, I become lucidly aware. I look around and notice the bright colors of the mall. It looks similar to the Children’s Hospital in Kansas City. A random woman pass by me and wonders off into a hallway. I remember my simple goal to observe my tattoo on a mirror. I look around and see some Whack-A-Mole game near a wall with a mirror. I think this is good enough and walk towards it slowly. My breathing is way too fast and I feel excited. I feel that I must concentrate to hold the dream together. The walk other there is taking way too long and the dream fades.

I have a false awakening and begin to DJ with a black sharpie and a scrap of paper. I struggle to write the first sentence of my dream until I actually wake up. I do a nose plug to be sure.

00:00 Saturday 2013-11-23
00:35 bedtime.
05:31
1) In a car on a city street driving towards downtown O. Not sure how I got here, a bit surprised, did I take a wrong exit from the freeway? I see the tall buildings a mile or two directly ahead of me. I want to get to B, so I turn right on S. avenue, because S avenue after all is a cool street.
I'm eating some stuff and getting full. I see a Jack in the Box up ahead on the left, and think "Oh man I have to get myself a monster taco, and maybe a strawberry milkshake" but I know it will be too much food. There's another fast food place right next door to the right of the JIB but I don't recognize it's name/sign.
I pull up to the drive-through and there are a lot of people standing around, employees taking orders. There's young boy writhing on the ground in pain by the drive-through menu on the grass. Liquid is spurting high in the air out of his back. There's an EMT tech is rolling the boy on the ground, (like a rolling pin), not trying to treat him, until he dies. They put him in a body bag and take him away.
There's a show with Sen. John McCain he's talking about this boy and how outraged he is, he says "you think your children are safe and they'll try to save them but they don't actually try to save you they'll do a million different things that could be wrong." He says "I saw that liquid spurting out of the boy and I didn't know what that stuff is, maybe it's some sauce I put on this piece of bread here (and eat it), or what?" The audience explodes in uproarious laughter to this. I'm outraged because it's a horrible thing to joke about.
I'm walking with my wife, she asks what the laughter is all about, I say it's just John McCain making a terrible statement.
Long time getting back to sleep. Eventually focus exclusively on relaxing, not "getting back to sleep." I let go of my frustration about distractions from sharing a bed with my wife, start spooning with her, and cultivate feelings of love, warmth, and comfort. I then fairly quickly fall to sleep and have the next LD while still holding her in my arms .
07:39 LUCID #9 DILD
2) TV park, old neighborhood. I'm standing on the middle level, with my back to the swings, near the foot of the hill. There's a low coffee table in front of me on the ground. I notice a cloaked figure at the top of the slide by the street, back facing to the park. "I'm dreaming," I realize immediately. I hop over the coffee table, facing towards the merry-go-round. It is half dark, twilight. I say "LET THERE BE LIGHT!" with my arms raised upwards. Visuals instantly vanish, and I'm left in a half-lit void, kind of like insides of the eyelids in a light area. I call to "NN" to pull me out of back into the dream but it doesn't work. I slowly wake up.
12:30 BTB nap
14:23
3) Golf
Watching some guys play golf. We're on a hill, the players have to hike down a bit to the tee below us on the hill. He hits a ball and it flies towards the green in the distance. There are helpers on the green, they mark the landing place of the balls. This guy's ball lands just inside a small sand trap off of the green. A later shot goes to my mother who's in some water like a tub or pool in a different place, she's sitting in an innertube that also holds the hole for the golf ball, as the ball rolls towards the hole, some guys shake the inner tube and the ball misses the hole and my mother is upset about this, she says "if you're going to do that, (other stuff)".
4) graffiti
In the mountains, around my favorite lake (U), I notice graffiti on some rocks. I look at it closely, it is made up of unrecognizable glyphs in multiple colors and they morph shape as I look at them. There is a tag right in front of me, and another one way up a steep slope that is very dangerous to climb, a large promontory with a far drop all around the edges. I imagine we'll have to rig a rope somehow so that someone can climb up there and clean off the tag.
F1) Video gaming console, it lets you play basketball, there's a special external attachment of a hoop and sensor, it measures the baskets you make. I imagine setting it up in a backyard, it would have to be set up securely with a wooden platform so you could shoot basketballs at it and it wouldn't fall over.

Night of November 27, 2013. Wednesday.







Beautiful visions of rocks and stones rising up from the ground, from under layers of sand, changing the surface of the world many times over. It is a very clear perception, and I also feel seeming changes in my body towards a more “uniform” energy, a more relaxed state, far less muscle tension. The sand flows through the large rising rocks in the manner of a beautiful waterfall. Entire continents come and go throughout time. The falling sands seem to “sing”. At one point, a rhinoceros stands over me, nodding “her” head and snorting (I seem to be lying on my back at that point). She seems to be “angry” that I am not a rhinoceros and yet somehow found my way into the “rhinoceros collective consciousness”(?) into “her dream”. I do not feel threatened at all and start laughing uncontrollably, as I am the only male she can “contact” at that point and find the situation hilarious. She “scolds” me a bit by grunting in a friendly manner and waddles off, seemingly frustrated.

Later, I am near a lake where the banks are filled with organic debris. It is a very peaceful awareness even though my environment seems to be continuously changing (recurring), often seemingly related to time going by swiftly or perhaps “alternate universe” shifts. For a time, it looks like a covered (roofed) picnic area with room for about four picnic tables, but time seems to be moving fairly rapidly. I am aware of a man talking to a group of people for a very short time; perhaps a family reunion or perhaps a seminar, but then they are all gone and mostly all I see is old, rotting wood and detritus, which has “equal importance” as the meeting of people, perhaps more. (Around this time, there are also suggestions of a possible scene aboard Noah’s Ark.) I see various “people” having weddings in elaborate boats or just enjoying a trip over the water, but they seem more like higher archetypes or composite beings of higher human qualities. I see one moving towards me from the other side of the lake. The canoe-like boat also has some sort of unusual structure somewhat like a trellis.

The location seems to shift slightly. I am looking at a very large cauldron over a large fire. It is untended and fairly close to the lake. There are no other signs of man-made aspects of any kind on the land at this point. The cauldron, over time, goes through several unusual changes. Firstly, it is changing more into something like some sort of large round boulder that is continuously going through changes with vein-like patterns rapidly growing over it, somewhat like rust (and at one point - it almost looks like a “perfect” combination of rust and ash over the surface - again, moving like “live, growing veins” and then dissipating), but I am aware that it is mostly some sort of localized rock-cycle event. At one point, it looks like “pseudo-circuitry”; that is, a pattern of minerals and form that coincidentally looks much like wiring or a circuit-board but is wholly coincidental (I can randomly make various types of images that are similar). There is then a sort of moss-snowflake-crystal-grain-small-stone texture that grows and dissolves on the large stone in vein patterns and overall fractal-like form. (It is at least four-feet high or more.)

Eventually, I see that it is actually the planet Earth in miniature, or within a different dimension of observation. I see Gondwanaland and other protocontinents (but none of the ones people like to promote so often in New Age propaganda). Over time, I actually become aware that the appearance is Earth as it is now. Soon, I carefully watch as continents move back into each other over many thousands of years. Civilizations rise and fall. It happens a few more times before everything grows dark, yet glowing-ember-like, very beautiful.

A sense of appreciation and beauty continues throughout even though billions of living beings just blink into existence and out again, the energy recycling and splitting up into various forms, no reincarnation (which certainly could not explain the seven billion people on Earth and the exponential population increase anyway), just energy forms transforming endlessly in the same manner as the water cycle, the rock cycle, the nitrogen cycle, and many others. Even the embers eventually move on into another state, perhaps within a “protouniverse” or being the origin of such.

There was a dream where I was at some sort of island theme park. It was supposed to be pretty scary. I was with Nguyen and a few other people. We stayed there for a while. There were a few of the higher ups frying there as well for some reason.
There was a pretty intense part of the park, probably one of the three parts of the park where you get toured around by some clown looking guy, and randomly throughout the ride he would go crazy and you have to calm him down in order to progress without anyone having to be taken. It was a very intense and somewhat scary ride. There was a whole fiasco with who I was staying with and the clown. They didn't look like the clown from it, but they somewhat did. The face paint on the one clown would change color when he went insane during the ride.
Watson was there with us, and he ordered a bunch of video games to the park address but he wasn't there to pick them up the next day because he was probably missing or something.
Then I went with some of the higher ups from my work from the park to another part which was in a house hotel area where my grandma and aunty were staying. There were a few interesting things that happened there and then I got a ride with them back to the park. There was another part of the dream that involved them and my work more heavily but its pretty hazy.
I get back to the park and have a pretty intense moment where an entire hall of people turn into the clown looking things, it was kind of scary but moreso just intense and in tents. I end up finding out why the clown was so crazy though when I try to escape from the park one night through a flashback.
In a past life the clown was in fact a starfish whose daughter starfish got destroyed by the waves and rocks and environment. Life is hard for other creatures. He dragged her to a place near the ocean and rocks where he could sort of protect her and try to help her heal, because starfish can heal relatively easily. He ends up turning into a large barnacle to protect her. I just remember intense feelings of sympathy for the clown starfish barnacle, and it all made sense why he was so angry to me at the time. Then the dream ended.
~~~
There is a pretty major dream, kinda vivid, where at the end of it, we end up somewhat around Las Vegas celebrating something and a small cruise turns into a large extravagant one.. It seemed to be around Hawaii because there were huge boats and also F15's in the water that we were all riding. It was an amazing celebration There was some production as to why it was being recorded as well. I think it was after work in my dream. I had a feeling that I had never seen this before even though I am from Hawaii.
I cant recall the rest of the dream as of right now.
~~~
an extensive dream about me, Nguyen, Scott and my Catholicism teacher as well as all the people in my weekend catholic school as we go out, learn, and get into hi jinx. we end up having some lessons I forget which kind. Then I end up talking to my friend Nguyen, as we need Halloween costumes... We go to a mall and we buy two nun costumes that pull away into other costumes like party boy. we the go to our catholic class via shuttle, where we meet my friend scott, who has now turned into a douche for some reason and feeds me some bs story about how he had moved or seen his house where his mom and him used to live where he was beaten by his dad as an excuse for being a douche. He slaps an old man on the face in the subway.
then we go back to class after trying to figure out what we re going to eat for lunch as we cant decide, we almost don't have lunch.
At class there are many people i know. It is held on the top floor of some building in a city like pearl city. we talk and our teacher seems like an asshole. I see some of my cousins in my class and one of them is singing a song by Die Antwoord. I am pressured by the teacher to see if I am going to volunteer for whatever thing they had going on the next day, which I was hesitant to do because I had no clue. Then we went on with our lives after the class and having decided that I wouldn't go on this excursion the next day, as I still want to have a weekend. Then the dream ends.
~~~
I go to a convenience store with my mom and sister and Martinson. We get into a small confrontation.
~~~
Had a WILD. Went into SP then got woken up by a little boy. Room was small. He said "she" wanted to see me. Went to see a somewhat scary dream lady that I turned into my memere. I decided I wanted to get away at that point so I fell through the ground into a backyard. There was a few trees and dogs there. Pretty vicious dogs but I love them so I let them bite me. I go into another scene where its a beautiful open field and I fly around. The weather is so nice, and there's pine trees. The weather gets darker and on top of a hill I see Kim Jong Un. I fly away to a desert area where the world gets like runescape and I think im in WoW. I start to walk around the crowded halls. I have a movie like vision of two girls in the town. Sisters.
~~~
Had a crazy dream where We were travelling across country with a bunch of people, some high school classmates and whatnot and we went to a very high class party. There were a lot of drugs and debauchery going on at this party. That was pretty much the extent of it.
~~~
Had a dream where i was in my old house and every night a demon dog would come and try to harm us but we would hold it back.
Had another dream where a dog used a paint brush in its mouth to paint a large canvas in the back yard
Had another dream where we were all staying at my cousins house and we were going to have a huge pot luck. Some of the people that I work with were there such as Lawson and Harris.
~~~
Bunch of awesome dreams last night. Had one where I was going through some sort of fun house where some somewhat evil things popped out at you and it was a test of whether you could handle them all. Spirits and stuff would try to enter your body. After I got out of there I went up to this other place and saw my aunty who turns out was taken over somewhat by these evil things. Then I woke up in a somewhat military barracks where we all had bunk beds. They said it was code red mopp 4 because the room was painted red.
Then I had some other dreams which were all very vivid. After flying around in one of them because I knew that I was lucid, I tried to conjur something, but for some reason it wasn't working. I also toured my aunty around because I knew that she was taken over by demons. When I got tired of the dream I fell through the floor to see where I could go to next.
~~~
Had a dance battle with Nguyen just while i was taken over by the grim reaper who actually looked like a muppet. I was part of an organization that was housing a girl child that its members were keeping her hostage because she was the key in unleashing the Old Ones. There was a jerk at the head of the organization now who basically runs things in the background Me and a bunch of my real life co workers were all a part of this organization. He tried to get all of our contacts through each other by forcing us to give him our contacts but some refused.
Had another dream where I went to a mall with some friends, but it wasn't a huge mall. I tried to impress my friends with a display of acrobatic skill by jumping all over the place in the mall and doing some cool stuff. There was an upper area in the mall which was a sort of play area which was like a rotating skating rink but instead was a moving platform that span and you had to run with it and try not to fall off of it because it was very high in the air.
Had another dream where I was back at home and for some reason my dad was there as well as my mom. My dad basically took over my moms room and my mom was left to stay in the living room, which was weird because it was her house. There were quite a few interesting dreams this past week and this past night The most interesting was the one where we were part of an organization that was corrupt and there was a figure head that was a little child who was a mere pawn in the whole thing.

11/26/13

Consuming Power
I am in a city I don't recognize. It is night time, and it is quite dark. Even darker than it usually is at night in a city. None of the lights seem to be on. I wonder why I might be here. I start looking around until I hear some people talking. I come around a corner and I see a man moving towards me. I realize the sky is beginning to lighten and I can make out that the man is some kind of military soldier. He has an assault rifle of some kind aimed at me.

He sounds very unfriendly as he tells me to freeze and not move. He demands to know who I am and what I'm doing there. I cooperate, not sure if he is friend or foe, ally or enemy. I give him the name Raven Knight and I say I am not there to cause any trouble. He says I already am causing trouble. I wonder how I am causing a problem, but he doesn't bother with any more questions. He opens fire on me. A spray of bullets hit my upper torso and cause a small tingling sensation. "Oh, shit! You're HIM!" the soldier says before firing a couple grenades and then turning and making a run for it. The grenades explode in my face, but I don't really notice any effect beyond a flash of light and a slight warmth. I see the soldier about to go around a corner and I think it will be bad if he gets a chance to alert the others. I use a tendril to pull him back over. I have the guy right in front of me and he is just begging me to let him go, he is also calling me Mercer… as in Alex Mercer? I don't really want to kill a guy who is begging for his life, so I am about to let go of him when I realize he has been maneuvering his right hand with some kind of gun in it… to fire a large blast right at my chest. The blast punches a hole right through me, but I don't feel a thing. I look down at the hole in my chest just in time to see it seal itself up, completely mending the Assassin's robes I am wearing, leaving no trace I have ever been shot. The man has a look of sheer terror on it now, though he has gone silent. He then starts yelling in my face, calling me a monster and saying there is no way I'm going to get out of this one alive! He thinks they really have a way to kill Alex? I have to know for sure… he already thinks I'm Alex Mercer so I just consume him and then I know everything he knows. They do have a plan to kill Alex, though this guy didn't know what it is, just to meet his commander at a certain time and place. So I'll attend that meeting in his place.

There are four other guys at the meeting and the commander. I know all of the guys as the other people in my squad. The commander holds up a large syringe of some yellow fluid that looks like piss. He says that is the answer to all of our problems. A virus that will completely destroy Alex Mercer. He laughs like he is a bit crazy. From the guy I consumed I know he has been more than a bit obsessed with Alex. He says the virus in the syringe will make the fucker consume himself. He laughs again and then gets serious. He says we only get one chance. If Mercer survives being dosed with this stuff he'll most likely be immune to it. He says someone has to dose Mercer, then when the virus has him weakened, hit the shit with everything we got until there's nothing left! Now… the plan is to distract Mercer, but someone will have to sneak in and dose him. He says the odds are against that person escaping alive, so first he's looking for volunteers. Josh says he is definitely the one. Blake says Josh is about as stealthy as a freight train. I don't say a word. I step out of sight and become invisible. I sneak behind the commander and relieve him of his gun, his backup gun, and his combat knife, using telekinesis to aid me in remaining undetected. I return to the group, becoming visible and saying I should be the one to deliver the virus. The commander asks why it should be me. I show him his guns and his knife, asking if he has lost something. He calls me Barnes and says he never realized I had it in me… the job is mine. He said to go in quickly and try to get out quickly if I can, but if I don't make it, I'll die a hero.

So then we play the waiting game. Waiting for Alex to show himself. This almost bores me into waking up. But then we get notice and depart at once. Alex is facing off against a large number of Blackwatch forces that include tanks and people. He seems pissed about something. He is asking "Where is she?" The commander tells me to do my thing and hands me the syringe of toxin.

I get out of sight and turn invisible. I get closer to Alex without any problem, thinking about the situation. The commander said if he recovers from the toxin he will be immune. That seems like a good idea. And I can make sure it doesn't kill him one way or another. Healing him… letting him consume me… so I get right behind him and drop my invisibility before completing my assigned mission by giving him the toxin. Of course that doesn't go unnoticed. Alex turns and sees me, grabbing me by the neck as quick as a blink. Then the toxin starts having its effect. Alex looks like he is in considerable pain and drops to his knees, though his grip on me doesn't lessen any. I hear what sounds like the commander yelling to fire, hit him with everything! Alex is glaring at me with more hate than I have ever seen in him, he asks what I did to him… but doesn't wait for an answer. I smile and tell him it's show time just before he consumes me. I am familiar with the process of being consumed, though this time it proves to be significantly more uncomfortable, though still not painful since I don't feel pain in dreams. A sensation of something being drained out of me, very uncomfortable. I figure that's because the Alex I know is more careful when he does it, this Alex was pissed. As I become conscious again, now fused with Alex, I hear explosions all around us. I look through Alex's eyes and see there is an energy field around us that is blocking all of the explosions safely away.

Apparently Alex already discovered one of my abilities to make an energy field. I can tell from Alex that the 'she' he had been looking for is Dana, apparently she has been kidnapped by Blackwatch. Kidnapped by the commander I'd been working for. The explosions around us finally subside. The entire area around Alex is now a huge crater with only the spot he is standing remaining unscathed. Alex stands up and looks at the Blackwatch forces all around us, I can tell he is now recovering nicely from the toxin I gave him. He beat it and will only get stronger from here. There had been people cheering all around us, but now they all fall silent. Aside from the sound of engines idling there is total silence. Alex scans the troops on the ground and spots the commander near the front of the group, apparently wanting a front row seat to watch Alex die. The commander is yelling at everyone to kill Alex, but no one seems too keen to try it after what they just witnessed. Some of them do attack, however. Alex makes a straight line for the commander, using his blade to slice through attackers as he goes. He grabs the commander by the neck and drags him up the nearest building and out of sight of the troops. The commander is trying to make a bargain with Alex to trade Dana's location for his own release, but Alex doesn't need him to tell where Dana is… Alex consumes him and immediately knows.

Alex is off like a shot, jumping off the building and gliding to the next one before sprinting along it and jumping again. Just a couple more jumps and glides and I see we are standing outside a large gate entering into a military base. It looks like a pretty strong gate, closed up tight. But apparently it's not strong enough for the new Alex Mercer… he uses another of my dream abilities and opens up with an energy blast like a Final Flash and blasts it right at the gate. The gate holds briefly and then practically vaporizes in a blast. Alex walks through the opening left by the decimated gate.

Most of the people inside are running around like they haven't got a clue what is going on. One man, however, is standing right in the middle of the main entry and facing Alex as if he thinks he might be invincible. The man says he had been hoping to see Alex here. He says he will get to kill both Mercers. Alex stops short… he already killed Dana? The man answers as if Alex had asked the question aloud. He says yes, he killed Dana… and if only Alex had been there to hear her scream. To hear her begging for mercy, to hear her calling out, "Alex! ALEX!" even though there was absolutely nothing Alex could have done to save her. He laughs. I can feel Alex getting very pissed off. I wonder if there is anything this guy can do to harm Alex. He is clearly trying to provoke Alex… And it works. Alex forms his claws and rushes at the guy with the intent to rip him limb from limb. The guy transforms into some weird tentacled thing… with lots of tentacles. Several of the tentacles wrap themselves around Alex, tightly holding him. The man laughs again and said Alex made that way too easy. Alex is the one laughing now, he says that the man should think again. He uses one of my song spells, Battery by Metallica, and hits the guy with a large bolt of lightning. The electricity flows through him, causing him to spaz out and release Alex. He is looking around with an expression that clearly says, "What the FUCK?!" Alex uses another song, Crush 'Em by Megadeth, and the force of a gravity bomb forces the man into the ground, creating a crater as it does so. The man is struggling to his feet when Alex reaches him. Alex says the man is going to wish he had never touched Dana. He consumes the guy, but the process seems to take forever and appears to be extremely painful. When it is finally done I see that he hasn't killed Dana after all, though he had been planning on it. Alex finds out Dana is still alive and heads straight for where they are holding her. An energy blast breaks through the door to the detainment area. He still has his claws formed and uses them to shred several guards into bloody ribbons. We reach the door to the cell Dana is in. Alex just rips it off its hinges and goes inside. Dana is in the back corner of the room, she backs away when she sees Alex with his claws formed. He changes back to his normal human form before approaching Dana. She seems almost unable to believe it's him. "Alex? It's really you? I knew you'd come! They kept saying they'd killed you, but I knew they had to be lying!" So with Dana on his back and holding on tightly Alex returns to the front entrance where there are numerous enemy soldiers aiming weapons at him. He doesn't even mess with them right now, it is more important to get Dana to safety. He launches into the air and flies over all of them, making it out of range before most of them can even fire. He continues running through the city towards a place he believes Dana will be safe in. I never find out where that is, however, I wake up.

Fragment

A few weeks ago (in RL) I found a sweatband in my room, and started to wear it around my wrist constantly. My hope was to use it as a "totem" like in inception. Am I wearing a sweatband? Nope. Must be dreaming.
Anyways, I could never find the other one, no mater how hard I searched. I know there were two, because the sweatbands were a Christmas present, as a pair. But... In this dream, I had both.

Snakebite

I was in some suburban backyard type setting. There was a large forest to one side, and a row of houses to the other. Between them were backyards, probably 50-70 feet from the woods to the houses. The sky was a dark blue, and there was a light snowfall, with several inches already fallen on the ground.
The first thing I recall was encountering a snake. It became aggressive and started chasing after me. I wasn't able to run very far until I tripped. I was able to grab its head before it could bite me, but the snake was "lagging" (Fantastic, video game lag in my dreams). But really, in my hand, it was behaving like that.
My mother was there, and I told her to quickly kill the snake. She grabbed its top and bottom jaw, each with one thumb, and killed it by pulling the jaw open 180. But because of the "lag" the snake registered as alive and was able to bite me before dying permanently.
I looked at my leg, and there were four holes where the snake's teeth had gone in. It hurt, but in a strange way that it felt like I could control the pain. I commanded the pain to go away, and it did.
My mother, who was still present, directed me to go to the doctors office.
Now remember how I described the dream scene as taking place in an "alley" between a row of houses and a dense forest. But there was a small two story house built in this alley. It even had a large neon sign on it saying "doctor".
But the house was quite a ways away. I began walking, but it was painfully slow and I seemed to be staggering in the snow. When I was about 1/4 of the way there, I looked again at the snakebite on my leg. I noticed that the skin on my leg was starting to turn a dull red around the snakebite. "Must be the venom!" I thought to myself.
I continued walking, with a somewhat faster pace until I was there. I was standing outside and looked at my leg again. Most of my leg was a dull red now. I knocked on the door, and you'll never believe who was there.
Marcus! "The Glasses Guy" that I kept seeing. I was thinking thinking he's another recurring dream character, and I was right. He turned out to be the "doctor" I was looking for. He took out some high tech injector device with a glowing blue vial in it and injected it into the bite. My leg returned to normal color. Awesome.

I can't remember what happened next or how I got here, but I ended up going inside one of the houses, and the inside ended up looking like the basement of my own house. (We have a walk out basement.)
The strange part was, I was trying to stabilize the dream by touching the walls, so I must have beenlucid. But I don't remember ever actually attaining lucidity before I started to stabilize. I woke up after that.

2 nights ago i dreamed something like i was in my neighborhood alone and scared of something..Keep running (small distance) untill getting home. I remember that i knew why I was running. Something chased me, it was like a demon.I runned 'till my home and then just runned all home from him because i didn't knew how to contra-atack him. After this it all was cleared, i was like in a white room,all white when like ...my inner-side appeared and told me how to defeat the demon but it was not like a fizical atack, it was more like mentaly. Anyway i was not scared anymore and after i woke up. Sorry for so less details , i couldn't quite remember all things. What does this means?

I remember waking up in my room. It was awfully dark, but I could make up a shape on the computer chair to my right. It appeared to be crouching upon the seat and moving slightly, but it was there. A snarl came from that direction, and as my eyes adjusted to the dark, wild messy hair and a face darkened underneath. It gave me a sense of fear and uneasiness. This creature slid down from the computer chair onto the floor, and I could almost expect it to either climb at my bedside, or wait to grab a part of my body near the edge. It didn't take too long for the sensation of fear to end though.

Before I knew it, there was a neutral feel to this whole thing and I was calm. A light shined beneath my back. It wasn't exactly warm, but comforting enough to make the fear vanish. Blue wings sprouted from my back, but I can't really describe them. They were out of my sight, except for blue. I was then aware that this was a dream, and I was protected. I had nothing to fear and I could vanquish this creature if I needed to. It was fine to simply step out of the bed and walk around my room, knowing the creature was either under my bed or somewhere at my feet, but I wasn't afraid. This was just a dream after all and I had my wings and burning light it feared.

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.

Dream 1(fragment):

Something about piloting some craft.

Dream 2(fragment):

Something about dragons.

Dream 3(fragment):

Some shmup boss fight.

Dream 4:

I try to do DEILD but it fails but then i try for WILD and soon transition occurs and FA fades into my view. I get up but it"s very unstable, it's hard to stand and navigate, i try to stabilize but that doesn"t works, then i switch to quadruped stance and go towards balcony door. I try to break through but whole unstability makes me just bounce away. I notice weird mechanism on the wall and there are a few clocks on it, i pick two and one of them is at 4h and another is at 8h, dream fades.

Dream 5(fragments):

i was browsing dreamviews and there were weird spammy posts around.

Date: 11 Nov

Pre bed: 200mg val

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I remember the previous dream and then from the middle/extended end of this one.

DILD: I am now on some unknown streets, it's a bright day. There is a plot going on, but I also know that I am dreaming. A girl maybe school age is my companion and this guy is waiting to meet us? in the middle of the street. I have the feeling that the dream is coming to an end, so move around quickly and try to absorb as much as possible.

I go in a small store where they sell clothes, but these clothes have special magical properties, like they can change your shape and turn you into animal. I feel the guy is waiting for me outside, so decide to ignore the magic items and go look for him. But when I do go out, the entire street has changed and he is no longer there. I am sad that I missed him. I remember trying to call him to come back but no result. I shortly contemplate whether to go back to the store. What was I supposed to do? Meet someone?

The girl from the earlier part now comes from somewhere and I finally remember that I was supposed to ask a question. At this point there is the realization that I had many chances to do so, yet always forgot to. I take it slow and ask the question - what are you thankful for, and become all ears, trying not to influence her answer. She opens her mouth and only some gibberish comes out, I can't make any word from that. I ask her again and she starts laughing maniacally. That pisses me off because I still expect to hear a normal answer. In the end she blurts out: "Are you deaf or what?". Her eyes seem quite lively but I have no explanation for this behavior.

Once again, I get the feeling that the dream is thinning out and look around wondering what to do and where to go. I remember that I wanted to go for Toty, but feel like this is the end of the journal entry where one finally figures out what to do at the moment the dream ends. I reckon the dream won't allow for any Toty completion at this point, so try to make the most of whatever dream time is left and look around. It's the like the main shopping street of a small town and for some reason, the area (I can't recall if it was) between stores or a mini street where I can see is more sun-lit, it looks extremely appealing to me and I decide to go there.

I know that I am on borrowed dream time and I try to take in whatever the dream offers. It's a small park type of pond, mostly dried out, but in one end is an indescribable large fountain with lots of jets beautifully arranged around the center. It undergoes some sort of transformation to become like the shape of a large oak tree made of ice. The texture is like a mix of slowly flowing fountain water and ice.

I look around and notice how on the surface of the dried out pond now there are scattered small pieces of ice and can see the reflection of the sunlight in each one, it's amazing. And as I scan the surroundings, I notice my special friend sitting near the other end of the pond. He is looking down, as if reading a book and I call out his name. He sees me and comes closer. Meanwhile, I notice that I am chewing a stupid gum and spit it out, but can still feel it in my mouth, ignore. In the last moments I manage to steal from this dream, we hug and try to ice-skate on the surface of the pond, towards the ice oak tree. The alarm wakes me up, recall is hard.

11/25/13 10:35AM
I already got sleep, so I'm sure this is why this happen. I was reading bout ppl's LDs in bed than decided to sleep a little more without intentions of LDing or anything. I just had SP but like in the dreamworld I guess I'm in a room that looks like mines but not really but i'm stuck in the bed and all I can do is barely toss and turn while like breathing hard. Than I have a FA still in bed with SP I try to move but same barely can only move in bed and something is attacking me. I hear like a roar and it's attacking my thigh, it hurts. It ends and I have another FA/SP I guess, again in what looked like my room but not really but this time I see my covers are brown instead of blue and out the corner of my eye I see someone in a wedding dress which I guess was a mannequin because a mannequin hand slowly stretches towards me, which freaks me out a bit. I try moving but my body and limbs feel so heavy and it's very hard to move. That mannequin hand continues to stretch more and more but very slowly, I eventually managed to get out the bed but my eyes are still glued to that hand while I'm trying to put my feet in my addidas slides lol. Since my body is so heavy and I move slow, I give in by reaching for the mannequin's hand. I grab her hand, expecting to feel a plastic hand but instead I feel as if I'm clenching my covers. Now finally awake in my bed with my eyes close and that same hand I used is in fact clenching my covers lol. That felt so real!