side notes

I've been writing heaps of dreams in my diary. Will upload them here soon...

I decided to re-read my dream journal and I not only realized that there have been even more precognitive connections that have occurred. I also remembered this morning 3 dreams from a couple of weeks ago, but I cannot remember if it was something that happened while I still was keeping the journal or if it was from after I stopped.

Precognitive: I mentioned going to a party with a girl named Bella that I had met twice. I saw her two more times in the past two weeks (after not seeing her for two years).

Random connection: I realized that the teacher in one of the last dreams I wrote about before I left for a while (about the wedding) actually looked a lot like WakingNomad.

Dream 1: A group of friends and I were in Japan. We were shopping and running through this mall that was purple and matrix-esque (though I have never in my life seen the Matrix so I actually have no idea why I think that). We were trying to buy things for a party we were all having together. I also kind of feel like we were in the part of Monster's Inc where they have the doors on those clothesline like things but we were using them for transportation.

Dream 2: A boy I liked and a couple of people and I were at what I thought was Knott's Berry Farm. It also felt like it was the theme park on the Santa Monica Pier but it was supposed to be Knott's. We decided to work there and we were in charge of running this small white rollercoaster. We just were walking around the track area for a while and then the boy I liked took his lunch break without me. For some reason it really hurt my feelings.

Dream 3: I was on a field trip to knott's berry farm but we weren't allowed outside, we just had to stay in this giant tent that we shared with another school. There was a section in the front with silverware and some tables that was mostly for us and was about an eighth of the size of the whole tent. I remember runing back and forth the length of the tent and the other school getting mad.

None of those were from the same night or recent at all, they just came to me today but I remember knowing of them in the past. It's kind of weird.

I gave up on my dreams. As cheesy as it may sound in a normal context, it is a much more mundane thing to say on these forums.

I still have my goals for the future, I haven't lost my way, but I have lost the time (for the past couple of months at least) to write in my dream journal. I told myself I would be good this time, that I would write up my dreams every day. I was good for a while but then it turned to writing a weekly digest of my dreams and then I just got lazy. I truly was excited about the Shared Dreaming class but I let AP Chemistry and friendship problems derail me from the class (though they probably were more important in the long run considering I can still learn shared dreaming). I feel ashamed to have given up so quickly.

I am trying again though. I still am as interested in dreams as ever (possibly even more) and I am going to try even harder this time to stay on track. With almost every thing I do I fail the first time and subsequently get closer and closer to succeeding. What began as writing down about one dream every six months and giving up after that one night in the fourth grade blossomed into writing a detailed dream journal every day (with multiple dreams each day) for weeks. One could say I've been building up my dream journaling stamina. Hopefully I'm ready for the marathon this time.

That's it, I just wanted to state that I'm coming back and that I hope to disappoint myself less this time.
xo. jessietea

All text in black was written on paper immediately after awaking, unedited. Orange text was written during the re-recorded post online, and contains assessments, ideas, etc.
I had written down the night before a goal: Have 1 dream that is vividly remembered upon waking up. Write down at least a page on it. This goal was completed.

It all began in Homer. I decided to leave Homer and the restaurant to go traveling. I went south by means of thumb. All the way. I stayed in some kind of monastary, castle, or something in New Mexico. It turned out to be an insane house, which I found out in a lunch room. This kid brought me lunch. We talked, I don't remember what about. Then we escaped. The people were after us! I got hit in the leg by a tranquilizer gun, but stayed awake long enough to get away. We took the tranquilizer dart and began hitch-hiking North. I got a ride, then remember being in Quebec, Canada. I walked around with some others. It was night, and not winter. However, when I woke up, it had became winter. I remember the stores vividly. Each was the same shape, but a different color. However, it was night, and everything was closed. I went and must have slept, but I don't remember where. The next day, I walked through the buildings again, and took a photo of the image. I have a picture drawn, the buildings are storefronts, but all are like houses, the same shape.

The interesting thing about this dream, is I seem to remember it, even now, very vividly, but I don't remember many details. I have a very strong visual memory of this dream. It also makes me think of my father, who was French Canadian, and bipolar. I feel these were strong influences in this dream.

All text in black was written on paper immediately after awaking, unedited. Orange text was written during the re-recorded post online, and contains assessments, ideas, etc.
These fragments are all on a single paper, with no date. I don't remember if there were multiple nights or multiple dreams in one night.

I woke up to me, narrating, "I can't drink, I can't drink, I can't drink". I had woken up very hung-over. I remember some characters. Stephen was there smoking pot. I denied his offer. I remember his pipe. I had a drawing of this on paper. I had just finished a talk with Daryl from The Office, but naked, for some reason. I was sleeping in the nude, which at that time was uncommon. I walked to his office through a department store of sorts, wrapped in a blanket. My green fuzzy one. I only went to have a cord spliced together. This dream was either before or after I spliced the Ethernet cord together from my neighbor running over it with the lawn mower. I wish I could remember his conversation. He was really wise, telling me all the right things.

I was walking out of work, into the mall parking lot. There I saw Halee, she came up and hugged me. She rubbed my back as well. She talked about working with her on a project protecting a plant cell with cancer.

I remember being chased. There was a man trying to get me every time, but I always got away. I was trying to make jello. I was in some office on the upper level, and ran down the stairs. I was a crustation, and when I escaped to the pond, I would evolve.

I was on a road trip with my Mom and sister, somewhere in Europe, perhaps Canada. We started going to the liquor store to get something. It was more than a liquor store, a grocery store. For some reason Naomi couldn't go to the liquor section, she wasn't 21 yet, but I was. Which is interesting, since she is 3 years older than I am. We walked around, deciding on something. There was an isle with all "Chris Dudd" sandalls. I specifically remember the logo saying Chris Dudd. I explained to Mom they were Jesus sandals. We got wine, 3 bottles. Then we left on foot and went on, ending up at some turnaround. There was a nice all-black car there. And lots of bums. I carried my netbook past them all. Probably my fear of getting it stolen, since I had just gotten the netbook.

All text in black was written on paper immediately after awaking, unedited. Orange text was written during the re-recorded post online, and contains assessments, ideas, etc.

I went with the family of the Weeds (the television show) to a small town in Alaska, which I called Homer. However, it was not like Homer, AK at all. It had some big strip-mall thing for tourists, which we stayed in. The first night we wandered around to get pizza. Then when I was in line, this guy behind me with a mustache sorta keep getting as close as possible. Eventually, I shouted at him to give me space, that he was fucking crowding me! Then I asked for pepperoni with jalapeños. I got sausage with jalapeños instead. I added parmesan cheese which came out of the shaker really fast. This is good, I love parmesan cheese. Then I added red chilis. After, I ate it. I don't remember what it tasted like. Next I know, I am in a room Shane Botwin has found, a sort of secret room. He has colored all of the walls with patterns. He is playing calm music. I talk to him. There is at some point a bunch of names on a wall. With numbers next to them. They are friends of mine. I don't remember who, or what numbers. I feel like the numbers could have been an ordering of my friends. Then, somebody shows up and says there is a big party. The mustache guy is there too. I claim that I don't want to go, because I will smell like smoke to my Mom. (Perhaps I was traveling with Shane Botwin from Weeds, and my Mom) Then I decide to go. I go check it out. As I am walking there I see Scott H. I am so excited. I tell him I've got a surprise for him, and run off to wake Lance. Another friend of all of ours, but not previously in this dream. Lance doesn't want to wake, but I get him to and we go to the beach to where I saw Scott. There are all sorts of people from Arcata. I find Ki, I pick him up, and run toward the ocean. Throwing him right to the water's edge. We all gather, and eventually get into the PTJewser. KSO's in the back Scott next to me, Alex driving with Ki shotgun. I remember being so happy. We drive toward the party.

All text in black was written on paper immediately after awaking, unedited. Orange text was written during the re-recorded post online, and contains assessments, ideas, etc.

Somehow I was invited to go to San Francisco at work. A guy named Danny tipped me personally. I worked as a waiter at that time. Sean, my boss, was also invited. We went together, but we couldn't find the 'city'. I believe I meant downtown San Francisco by this. We ended up finding some sort of hippy-fest. There was one guy I KNOW I have seen before. I had a strange sense of seeing this person before, I was confident that outside of dreams I had seen this person, but never met him. I passed buy him. Later he came by and gave me a mesh bag with gems inside it. Sean called it a "sad-bag". This is very in the sense of humor of Sean, but more random. I pocketed it. There is a blank part of my dream, and then I am with Mike S. He is showing my his mushroom bong. I deny his offer to smoke. He claims it makes it less "pink-math" and head-fuckedness.

All text in black was written on paper immediately after awaking, unedited. Orange text was written during the re-recorded post online, and contains assessments, ideas, etc.


It all started out going on a road trip with Jesse! Except it might have been Connor. Either way that changed. I was walking to the car when a girl walked up. She was cute. Had some metal canteens and was going on an adventure. We gave her a ride. Then drove to pick up my friend.
At this point I wrote WAKE, so I must have awoken from the dream, and immediately went back to bed.

Now I am in a classroom. It's Brian? and this girl. I sit behind Brian. I get a haircut the first day. I don't remember much more from that day. The next day everyone in class had haircuts. There was some toy that was on the TV the night before, where people wore it on there head. I had drawn a picture of this toy, it seems completely random. Outside the classroom there was some scattered hair, and this toy was filled with hair, of all colors. I went into the classroom, and announced that I cut my hair the day before. Probably attempting to show that I was not following a trend.

All text in black was written on paper immediately after awaking, unedited. Orange text was written during the re-recorded post online, and contains assessments, ideas, etc.

I remember staying at Stephen's house, but there was no mother. Stephen is my friend, and his Mother has always been a pain in our friendship. A father was there, Carlos. Carlos is a family friend of mine, and a sort of father-figure toward me. This was also in Alaska. I am not sure how the dream began. Toward the end, I was talking to some family who had a brat, trying to get a ride somewhere. I could shave my facial hair. I had shaved my chin, however I didn't like it. Then I was cross-country skiing. Going back home. I remember now that the home I was going to was Stephen's home. Once I got back, Stephen and Carlos were talking. Stephen was giving Carlos candy. Stephen always has good candy in dishes around the house that I ate, perhaps that's the reason his mother never liked me. Carlos and I talked about skiing. Then I tried to find a bathroom. One was blocked by stuff. I found the other one in the home, but it looked nasty. I decided I should go there and right at that moment, I woke up.

Well, my girlfriend just found my DJ here. So, I will filter some information from now on

I know you are reading it from somewhere, love you ♥ haha

Thursday 25th November

I remember Being in a swimming pool where there were a few people i knew (didnt write the names down) First mistake missed out on this detail.

Second dream I remember I not sure if It was Lucid or not, been reading heaverly on this since watching Inception.

I was in a hotel room I knew I was dreaming but wasnt sure what to do as the dream didnt seem stable and I was fighting to not to wake up, even tried the spinning techinque which didnt work. I remember a man in the room but couldnt see his face.

Oh well not much from the first night I'll try again tonight.

Brief notes for myself. The dream was unusually vivid and it helped me figure something out irl so I may as well record it.

- Saw Catie, the DC that acts as my subconscious/dream guide.
- Followed her to ask her something.
- Ran into my friend Selina, lost track of Catie.
- Talked to Selina for a bit, Catie came back to ask something. She looked annoyed.
- I couldn't remember the way back, Selina showed me.
- Was getting dark so we opted to go to Catie's house (was close to where we were standing) and call for a ride rather than walk.
- Lost track of Catie again, pulled out a flashlight and found her.
- Walked through a "neighborhood" of rundown, abandoned houses.
- Needed to walk up a mound to get to where we were headed. Selina and Catie made it over, I fell into a trench of some sort.
- After falling into the trench, I somehow ended up in the street. Had to find my way back by going through a couple dark, empty, rundown houses/buildings. Found my way to a window and tried to climb out but the building began to grow the closer I got the window.
- I noticed squad cars in front of Catie's house (which I could see from where I was). I then saw two cars in front of the building I was in, was glad Catie and Selina had called for help.
- An officer helped me out and sent me on my way.
- Can't remember what happened next.
- I was walking down the street with a friend, not sure if it was Selina or someone else. We went to the front door of another rundown house for some reason. We were invited in. The son and father started yelling/fighting. The mother just sat there watching tv and raising the volume to drown out the noise. That just made things worse.
- I got her to do the volume down then separated the father and son. Helped mediate.
- Me and my friend left and and eventually met a little girl that I apparently knew (in the dream at least). She led us to another house, when we stepped inside we saw a couple other irl friends.
- I started baking cupcakes for some reason. =/

*Old entry that I saved as a draft but forgot to post*

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm standing just outside the window of a cream-colored building, looking up and into the building through the window. There is a sort of rectangular tower or column inside the building, wide enough for the name of the building to be displayed at the top in tall, narrow, bright teal letters made of molded metal. [The font is Times New Roman, or something like it.] I'm controlling what letters appear there by typing on a keyboard. First, I type “Walgreens Bookstore.” Then, my mom is standing next to me and rebukes me gently, telling me to put in the real name of the building. I backspace over what I've typed, and the teal letters disappear. I then type the real name of the building, “Public Library.”

Once again, I realize easily and naturally that I'm dreaming. Saying something like “Wait” to my mom, I turn away from the window and look to my left, intending to go and explore. The sidewalk I'm standing on outside the public library runs right along the edge of a river, which has more sidewalks and buildings all along both sides. The dream only lasts a couple of seconds before fading, though.

I'm lying on a mattress on a floor somewhere. There are blankets covering me, and my dad is bending down closely over me, as if to tuck me in. I'm breathing hard, and it feels like I'm being smothered. I start to panic, but then I think, It's okay. It's just a memory. I can't breathe because I have a stuffy nose in reality. [Which I don't, by the way, but it seemed logical at the time. Also, that must have been either a false memory or one from when I was really little.]

Dreamskip. I'm still on the mattress on the floor, but my dad is gone and the blankets aren't over my head. I'm in between two raised platforms [loft beds, maybe?] with shelves built into the sides, and there are all kinds of toys and books and stuff all over them. Someone says something about being in seminary. [I don't really remember this part.]

I find myself looking up at a white stucco ceiling high above me. Thinking I've woken up, I try to DEILD back in, and succeed. [LOL, I just performed a DEILD within a false awakening! Awesome!]

I'm back on the mattress on the floor again. This time, I reach out from the mattress to feel the carpet beneath it. It's brown and semi-shaggy, the kind we have in our current house. I'm not fully immersed or engaged in the dream, though, and it only lasts a few seconds.

When I woke up for real, I remembered and remarked aloud: “This house doesn't have stucco ceilings! All its ceilings are flat!” Only then did I realize that that had been a false awakening.

--------------------
Side notes:
I really like that brown carpet. I've noticed that in my dreams, any indoor space where I'm residing usually has that kind of carpet, even if it's not my current house. I think the reason I'm so attached to it, and therefore, the reason it shows up so much in my dreams, is because I helped pick out the carpet for this house, unlike at either of the other two houses.

Also, that public library is so going into my current NaNoWriMo novel. Most of it is set in a dream world version of Louisville, where I lived once and which is by a river.

I was driving in a large parking lot area with many people walking around. Almost like a parade. (This entire section is weirdly disjointed.) I remember there were police directing traffic and being worried I would get undue attention on account of driving a red car.

Adjacent to the parking lot there was a diner/hotel/bar building with a glass store front similar to an ice cream shop. In front of it, people were standing around. Kenan Thompson, a cast member from SNL was there dressed in a gray trench coat that looked dated. Vaguely like a Sherlock Holmes costume. I clearly remember thinking: "He is the kind of person I could actually be friends with."

I offered to give him a ride through the traffic/parade situation and he eagerly accepted. I went back to my car, looped around the entire active parking lot again, cops and all. When I got near to the building I didn't see him so I parked my car (which converted into the bike I rode when I was 14-years old) out front by leaning it against the storeroom window. I looked around for Kenan, and there was no sign of him.

I entered various areas lightly populated by workers. Near the far back end of the building was something like an old cheap looking dive bar/pub. I walked into the area, looked around, didn't see him among the old worn out looking patrons, turned around just in time to see Kenan downing a shot. I remembered him drinking earlier in the dream at this point. He looked sweaty and guilty. I asked him if he had been struggling with a drinking problem? He nodded awkwardly.

Note: I thought Kenan Thompson was hilarious in his first show All That and I do watch SNL (even though it's 95% horrible currently) - but I haven't given the man any serious or special thought whatsoever.

Well, now I'm on vacations, I can record my dreams again. But I haven't done it for some months, so I can't remember them clearly. But after a few days I guess they're going to be nicely detailed. Also, I'll record them in portuguese, 'cause it's easier for me (I'm brazilian) and it takes too long to translate them to english.

Ice Cream

Hoje eu tenho um encontro com a minha namorada, sonhei com isso.
Estávamos na praça que fica em frente a minha escola de música, e resolvemos tomar um sorvete (logo ali tem uma sorveteria). Ela não tinha dinheiro, eu disse que pagaria pra ela. Ela pegou uma casquinha de plástico e um sorvete de morango, e foi se sentar. Eu peguei um pote de vidro e algumas bolas de sorvete de morango também. Perto de nós estava uma pessoa, que meu cérebro não conseguia definir se era meu irmão ou um amigo meu (Konan).
Nos sentamos para aproveitar o sorvete. Estranhamente, a sorveteria tinha paredes de vidro, e vi minha melhor amiga passando por perto. Ela estava junto com alguém (provavelmente com Gustavo), que a avisou que eu estava ali. Ela nos viu e veio nos comprimentar. Não sei por que, tive medo que as duas se encontrassem, e meio que me escondi. Já não consigo me lembrar de mais detalhes.