side notes

In this dream unlike in real life I had a cat, and so did my neighbor (not a real neighbor). He and I were talking across the hedge (don't have a hedge in real life), and he was telling me how when I am at work, my cat likes to hang out with him and his cat. It was not explained why he is not working and has time to hang out with cats all day, despite the fact that he was middle aged and quite healthy and well off looking.

Even though cats are a dream sign lately, I did not get lucid.

Date: May 10, 2013
Method: MILD & WBTB
Total Sleep Time: 8 hours (bedtime 1:00am-5:00am) WBTB (7:00am-8:00am), then slept from about 8:00am-11:00am
Category: Dream, Dream Fragment, & Non Lucid (again )

Dream Fragment: I was in a store looking for clear duct tape and had a hard time finding it. I found duct tape with solid colors, duct tape with patterns, duct tape with several colors, duct tape with pictures, but no duct tape that was clear. I believe I needed the duct tape to ship a package (I am currently in need of clear duct tape to ship a package in real life, so I guessed that is why I was dreaming about it).

Dream #1: Dreamed I was at some sort of football practice or physical fitness event. Football players were doing some sort of routine and they needed the football player’s wives to participate (I think I was a football players’ wife). Anyway, some of the wives were teamed up with football players that were not their husbands and some wives were replaced with professional football cheerleaders to do the routine with the football players. The wives were very upset and jealous over this because the (dance?) routine required the football players to really hold, grab, grope, and touch their partners .

Dream #2: I had a dream last week of seeing my niece and her child (I haven’t seen them in a couple of years). In the dream from last week, I was able to see the child in great detail, I haven’t see the child since she was born, but in that dream, the child was at least 2 y/o and had her hair in two huge ponytails and was wearing a little dress with flowers as the pattern on her dress. In my dream from last night, I was with my niece and her child and at that very moment, I remember saying to her, “Hey, I dreamed this scene last week! I saw this exact scene in my dream from last week! The baby IS wearing her hair in two huge ponytails AND the baby IS 2 years old! I was right!” In my dream, my niece just looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Oh.” At that moment, I should have become aware/lucid that I was dreaming, but sadly, I didn’t and I woke up…I thought I was really talking to my niece about the dream I had .

Note to self: Focus on your awareness…how clear does a dream sign have to be for you to become lucid ?????[/COLOR]

Pre bed: Brain multi vit

Result: vividness plus sleepiness, emotional dreams

WBTB: fail, no tea, no menthol

Recall method: none

Fragment1: two guys that are dreamers meet. It seems that all three of us have great self-control and understanding.
mood: positive

Dream2: I am in my old neighborhood, now go into some strange house where I am good friends with the DC owner. There is like a gathering of people, my mom's friends, some classmates that I don't like etc. For some reason, I begin teasing them and they react very aggressively. Everybody is looking at me, shouting at the same time, there is heavy tension and hatred? The DC guy is the only friendly person in the room, and I worry that he will be forced to join the group of aggressive DCs.
mood: aggression in the air

Later on I go to his room, there are two beds in the room, he is sharing the room with his sister but I notice only one desk. There is another room, where he was born, so they are keeping it for the next generation. My father is also there.
mood: inquisitive

In another part of the house, later on. The DC is now somebody I know, and I make him happy. I am concerned about doing the whole thing, but it is too late.
mood: sexual

Fragment3: One of our guests who initially insisted the bedsheets are dirty and disgusting now tells me that we only need to sprinkle them with water and put them back. I disagree and tell her that she contradicts herself. This leads to a scandal and there is more tension in the air.

Comments: OK, I have completely ruined it today. I told myself yesterday, I make a plan in the evening, then have the discipline to follow my plan, no matter what my mood is during WBTB. Why oh why did I turn off the alarm clock and went to bed, when the plan was to have some tea before that? A little bit of wakefulness was exactly what I needed! I really have to get more serious about the WBTB, only once in a week is a true fiasco!

And another reminder: every time there is sexual attraction to another guy, at least do RC, chances are this is a dream!

Oh, anyways....feed your brain multivitamins make for a neurotic personality it seems.

Thursday, 5/9/13

DR: I'm going in a boat to the other side of the lake. The dock we come to is called garfield. I follow someone up a long and steep bank, that has some metal walkway. Metal is of sun-bleached red color. I notice how it bends under my weight.

Went for a OBE at 2pm. Got some strong relaxation feeling in about 5 min, but a neigbor talked very loud to someone right under my window. Tried to ignore them and I acctually got some very nice HH - i was flipping through some colorful catalog with flowers.

Every time I exhaled, I felt as if a baloon under my back was inflating and I was higher and higher and more lighter. This was a first.

I was falling asleep, but then the noise was just too much and it all stopped. Then I was just falling asleep without HH or anything. My goal was not to take a nap but to have OBE/WILD, so I got up. My legs felt mushy for a while. All in all, nice experience.

This is the second dream that i am constantly haunted by and have no control over my actions,
Please note i am fully aware during these dreams but am only able to see and remember these dreams cleary but i have no control over the path or environment at all...with that in mind here we go,

The Drowning:

I 'wake up', its damp and cold...im disorientated and have no idea of my area, it seems to be somewhat of a beach but the tide is high and i am simply on a plateau of semi wet sand a small island basically...
i feel eyes watching me but there is nobody in sight...
im afraid cold and hungry(i can actually feel hunger quite acutely)...
I try walking and end up collapsin due to weakness...i black out again,
When i come to it is not due to dampness it is because i hear voices...
"Another one poor fool"-The nameless voice whispers in a hushed tone...almost saying it as if he really was pitying "me"...
I pretend to be asleep but that just makes what they do next easier...
I feel myself being lifted roughly...
I then try escape but am to late as my hands and feet are tied...
and what do you know its my good old friends the soldiers....with those same damn shortswords...
the scary thing is as i see this i look down at my stomach almost in memory of previous dream...i dont know how thats possible as i have no control so it is my bodies own doing...
so there i am tied up and looking at my stomach where in the previous dream i was stabbed....
I suddenly feel hands wrap around my neck...
I cant breathe now im being strangled...
My vision goes distorted as i struggle for oxygen...
at this point the soldier strangling me makes his face seen....and to my almost constant repetitive shock it is the very soldier that stabbed me in my previous dream...
He looks at me and yet again smiles and says with a twisted smile now on his face almost a forced look..
"dont worry this time...everything will be alright...for good"
and with that i find myself being held under the water of this massive ocean...
I struggle with all my might but eventually succumb to lack of oxygen and black out with the feeling of water rushing into my body and lungs......at which point i wake up...
//notes//
Upon awakening from this dream i wake up spluttering as if i have been drowned as well as coughing my nose is yet again bleeding and i cannot breathe properly until coughing ceases
//End
any comments help or advice on gaining control of these as well as at least not waking up to a bed with my blood all over it would be a lovely change of scenery.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
The Bear

Date: 7 May

During day: Re-energized by consuming lots of fruits

Pre bed: 3mg melatonin

WBTB duration: 16 mins, woke myself too much, hard time falling back asleep

WBTB: 2x peppermint oil tablets (200mg each)

Recall method: Woke pen-noted an almost illegible description during WBTB for Dream2, briefly reviewed in mind when back to bed

Fragment1: A large spider and then other insects, one was like a bee, I am trying to kill them, smashed them successfully

Dream2 DILD: My father has given me the task of preparing some kind of report for him. I am browsing in a chemistry textbook with different substances and after each substance there is a lengthy regression. My father wants a list of the substances only, which I don't think is right. He is annoyed that I am so slow and still not ready. I move on and jump over some furniture and see my grandma. I begin to explain that the regressions are the most important part in this report.

I continue on my way, and now am in something similar to a trailer with a friend of mine. Obviously she is keeping some items of mine there, one carton box with my stuff, that I want to take on my way. We talk about something. I notice that there is a wounded cheetah on the table. Actually there is no sign of wound but I know it is tired. I play with its tail, and caress it. It purrs and gently rubs its soft head and body on my hand. It is very enjoyable for both of us. I discuss the cheetah with someone, pointing out that it is the fastest creature on earth.



I then move on, I find myself in another place and someone tells me that my friends, and lists a number of people I supposedly know, are dead in another part of the city. Obviously machines have taken over the city and are destroying it. I look outside the window and see construction machines falling into an abyss. I have a bit of a paranoia from the machines because I know that they will soon come to destroy this part of town. I become desperate and say something like " I am so tired of such situations when I think that I am dreaming, but I am not, later it is a dream, then it is not!". I decide it is time to leave the place, and walk out a door. I notice a coca cola label sticker, but there is a poem on it. Perhaps I should leave something behind, I wonder, but there really is no point.

I am going to fly scout the area, to see if the machines are still in that part of town. I stretch my hands horizontally, like a cross, and then lift off in this position. I have good control of my movement this time, but still flying too high is a bit of challenge, it has to do with the vision of the ground below me.

It is hard to look down and perceive the flight distance and control the flight at the same time, but I fly in the direction that I desire. I am also lucid at this point. At above skyscraper height, I fly now forward, over an area with some water, HK in my mind, and look for a place to land. I have completely forgotten about the machines. Then the word "tasks" emerges in my mind and I remember I have work to do. For a second the thought crosses my mind that I may not have the time to do any tasks, but then answer myself that DV people won't mind that because I still had a good time flying.

As I land, I feel some kind of a string release me, I am then on the ground. I look at the DC in front of me. He is rather unpleasant but I accept this, his faces changes and he is now more beautiful and smiling. There is a DC woman to my left, but I pay little attention to her. I think at that point I may have had the gut feeling that this dream is coming to an end, and decide to stabilize before starting on any tasks. I remember to shout something and it feels a bit more stable. Then I throw myself on the ground, feel it as much as possible with my hands, little stones, etc. and as if that isn't enough, I decide to lick the ground. I also lick some kind of trash a blue thread, it tastes like rubber. I find this last part disgusting and decide to spit out. Saliva comes out of my mouth and at that moment I feel my physical lips moving. Before I have any time to react I find myself in my bed, still with my eyes closed, but very aware of my physical body. I feel there is no point to DEILD so I head for the journal.

Note: This wake was a few minutes before the WBTB alarm. I decide to use this wake as WBTB, take notes, visit restroom, wonder whether I should try the menthol tablets, have two tablets. The whole thing takes about 16 mins but I am too awake as I go back to bed. I wonder what to do from here...I decide I might cycle a bit to help me sleep but as I start with sight my mind shuts down and I begin drifting off, while still having awareness of my body. I cannot do even one cycle. It may sound like a good state to do WILD, but it isn't that good. I spent one hour in a semi-conscious borderline state where I occasionally saw and withdrew from dreamlets, yet wasn't dreaming, but rather laying there half-aware of my body and fully aware that I can't fall asleep. The tablets or the earlier wake gave me mild heartburn as well. I finally managed to fall asleep but then it was time to get up...

Dream3 mini-lucid: Together with some guys, this time we are on a flying machine, initially like a retro airplane, I am trying to control its movements, but it is hard. We are going to a conference related to technology, and approaching a block where this is taking place. I see a parking place for flying machines and land this now spacesuit? there. I hope nobody steals it while we are away. I look for number ten part of the building, we must be really close. There is also a McD in the building, which explains why there are so many people around. To my left is Justin Bieber, I am moderately happy. I am lucid for a very short while thinking about the peppermint oil tablets I took and whether they affect my experience. The alarm wakes me up.

Note: Happy about the first lucid, despite the fact that couldn't do any tasks. I feel this was at the end of the early more memorable REM cycles. The second lucid was very short so I am not including it in my count.

Most of what I wrote below is what I wrote at the time.

"Dec. 12th - Dec. 13th

I've been playing "The Saboteur" A lot lately. But anyway, The part I distinctly remember is when a Nazi standing in a checkout lane at Walmart told me to stop doing something in my awake life. I was lucid dreaming at the time too and I actually told him that I knew I was dreaming. I asked him to keep talking and he did. I don't feel like sharing all of the details. "

(Now I do feel like sharing; This was speaking of mas--------on, Fill in the blank.)

Next entry:

"Dec. 21st-22nd (I'm guessing...)

I remember a wedding at one part that went weird. The best man put the ring (Which was like a hoop earring) On his nose, I think the bridge took it off his nose and then saw it wasn't a wedding ring and ran off."

I also wrote this little note later:

"(Bridge? Did I mean Bride?)"

Note - "His nose" = The best man's nose.

Third dream:

"Dec. 22nd-23rd (If you count falling asleep after midnight the 22nd)

At one part I was Frodo Baggins in the Prancing Pony. It was weird, It went similar to the lines of the movie - Pippin said "Sure I know a Baggins, He's over there" And I may have went over to him. I'm not sure exactly how it all went, Some parts may have repeated but when I got the ring on I couldn't get it off and the eye was rather far away.

What the heck is it with golden rings in my dreams lately? "

This is what I wrote shortly after I had this dream:

"Great, I missed a few days and forgot some dreams.

Dec. 11th - Dec. 12th (Presumably)

I can't remember the order of how these things happened. I remember being at a curved wide path that was near the sea, Then at one part in my mom's bedroom she was taking one of my favorite music CDs, "Challengers" by The New Pornographers out of a CD player and she broke it after it was out of the player. The label wasn't correct on the CD, It had the album cover artwork on it. Then, the fragments of the CD were on the path and I found them near a rock. Later, There was a Bioshock 2 part and a whole room got flooded. I was presumably a Big Daddy without a helmet because I was looking for air. I looked and found some air but not much. Then, I think a little sister came up to me while I was still underwater and I adopted her, But I had a second op[tion - To set her attitude. I think I chose Y, Whatever that did. She said "If you want a specific attitude, You've got it" And disappeared. Then, I looked in a white fridge and there isn't much I can remember here except a dead dead bug or two that was trying to get to the ice cream compartment (That was on the fridge door) And there were also some little sister paintings or stickers below the dead bugs and a voice talked about the ice cream sandwiches. I opened the ice cream compartment, I'm not sure if I took any ice cream or not though. Then the last part I definitely remember was finding a 5 gallon water jug. I think I stuck my head in it and then took my head out and started filling it up with air, I may have been lucid dreaming at this point but I think I may have woken up right after this too."

Notes:

The ice cream compartment was on the fridge door.

I think at the time, It was fairly recent when we'd started to get Mountain Valley Water so that's partially where the glass jugs come into play.

Note added July 21, 2013: I had more than one dream involving Bioshock. Sometimes I'd be riding a cart from one section of Rapture to another and sometimes the darn track was broken underwater including the glass air tunnel, Leaving me to see a trip from one part of the track to the other off a rail!

Below in-between the quotation marks is what I wrote at the time.

"Now, for December 3, 2009.

Again, I don't remember all parts. The earliest part I remember right now is my best friend was at my house and I advised him not to step in dog dirt in the hallway as he went to bed. Then, At one part I thought A. C. Newman, Lead man for The New Pornographers (My favorite band) Wrote the song Electric Version Because he visited the town where I live. This is absolutely ridiculous because none of my favorite bands ever come within 50 miles of here, I live in Nowhere, Pennsylvania... Later, I had a lucid dreaming part but it didn't last long and I had trouble moving. I didn't make it far before I either woke up or stopped lucid dreaming.

More to come. "

My dog did do that in the hallway in waking life.

I now don't think it's so ridiculous that perhaps Carl Newman did write the song because he visited here; I don't know if he did or not.

The LD part was fairly early for me. I was stepping around outside, Excited to move and I think I may have fallen down in the dream.

Around 12:30 (so only after first sleep cycle of the night) woke up with this dream:

It was decided that I shall have a baby, but I do not give birth but receive e baby fully formed. She is a baby girl. there are issues: too much light falling on the cradle, too much movement of the cradle contraption that she sleeps in. For a moment the baby in the contraption in light looks otherworldly.

I need to cover the baby with some sort of rigid screen so she is out of sight. To access her, I need to go around her cradle. On the other side is the bed of her Hindu nanny and the Nanny's son. The nanny accuses me of my being there means that her services are no longer needed. I reassure her that they are, but that I just need to nurse the baby. they are surprised that I wish to nurse her.

For a moment the baby seems too old to be a baby, and maybe threatening looking. She can talk! First she says she needs to go to the bathroom, but when she realizes that I meant to nurse her, she is ravished. First she latches onto my arm, apologizes, and latches onto my breast instead. I am confused as to her age. Is she a baby who can talk, or is she older and if so, should I nurse her? But why would she be that small if she is older. Andher eyes appear wiser than her apparent age.
-------
I believe this dream tone metaphorical: are my ideas old or new? Do they threaten others? Am I right to nurture these ideas? they can speak for themselves, and yet are helpless without my nurture. I think this dream was inspired by discussions of spirituality on DV.

Also I have been reading Greek mythology to my sons, and the idea of fully formed daughter (Athena) and baby that can talk (Hermes) was probably based on that.

Date: 5 May

Total sleep time: 3 hrs

Dreams: None remembered, although I am sure I was dreaming something when I had to wake up to prepare for travel

-------------------

Date: 6 May

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Impressions: While I was looking forward to the REM rebound, I actually got a lot of heavy sleep today and retrieving memories was rather hard. This is not the first time I have noticed this effect since I began keeping a more extensive DJ. That's why I decided to put some emphasis on it this time, heavy sleep deprivation actually led to more deep sleep and less memories. Anyways, it's good I got some decent sleep. Now, prepare for lucid!

Fragment1: A friend of ours who is pregnant irl, she may be expecting twins

Fragment2: A conversation about dreaming and lucidity, I vaguely remembered this after briefly waking up, thought things are getting better because I am thinking about lucidity

Fragment3: A good friend from school. I take my time to check out the way he looks, slighly different. There is some feeling at the back of my mind when I observe him, (he is a DS), but I am totally absorbed by the story. He tells me about a class get together they planned but one of the girls made a big scandal? I reply that I remember the event and also say that I have had a dream about the whole thing. I mention dreaming a few more times during the conversation. In the dream I also have the feeling my friend may have dreamt about something similar.

Date: 4 May

Total sleep time: 8 hrs, possible REM rebound

Recall method: memorized, later wrote down

Location: hotel

Dream1: Two girls that I don't like at all are back. One of them actually has lost a lot of weigh and looks quite fit, and doesn't look like herself at all. I become concerned that the other one will try to come home and convince my bf's brother that she likes him, so that he falls in love with her. I look for a place outside to give my bf a call and warn him about the situation. I do that, then get distracted by some rusty doors of a yard.

Fragment2: Another dream where one of those girls participated

Dream3: I am back to some place, most likely living with my parents. They have invited relatives over and I don't like that, so I decide to go out. Before I do that I engage in extensive TK, lifting all kinds of objects, including rolls of toilet paper. I notice that it is easier to lift some smaller lighter ones. I then look for the keys and find my way out.

As I go out, there are two aggressive dogs that notice me, one small that is trying to bite me and a bigger one. I go back into the house. The DC of a friend of mine is now here as well. I tell her about the situation, she is very confident that there is nothing to worry about and says she will accompany me. We go out, at the same time another woman from the same building comes out and calls the dog by some name. It now behaves very friendly, I want to know its name, but can't get to ask the woman. We reach some kind of subway and I see that most trains are cancelled or there is one every hour. I have also forgotten something, maybe the keys. My friends's DC is very helpful again, suggests that she will go back to get them, I just have to wait for her. I tell her that there is no sense of going out so late, because it will be hard to get on the train if there are many people and it comes only once every hour. She is calm and replies that we will walk back home, no worries about that. She goes to get the keys or whatever and is soon back.

We go out, looking for a place to eat or drink. This guy attaches to us, he works in one of the nearby restaurants and knows the area rather well. He is flirting with my friend, but I know she has a bf, anyways, that's her business.

I am sitting on a table with some guys that I think I know. I see huge cups of raspberries passing on some kind of conveyer in the air. There are also cakes. I see another guy that I know, and he is celebrating his birthday or something, with one of the big cakes, but nobody is paying much attention to him, because they don't like him.

Comments: My friend's DC was very helpful this time. I should really learn to get my DCs to help me more often.

For the past month, I have been unable to remember most of my dreams, and if I do, it is only a fragment of one. Now, I usually would write these fragments down, but, for some reason, they almost-instantly disappear from my memory as I reach for my DJ beside my bed and sometimes, under my pillow. This is semi-unusual but it normal only happens about 20%-30% of the time, but, it has risen about 100% of the time.I need help.

I remember waking up thinking this was a healing dream. Well, that was the intension anyway: I had a pounding sinus headache which would not do away with medications, so I napped in the hope that I would feel better afterwards. I now do feel a bit better: still got a headache, but a bit more manageable.

In the dream I kept getting PMs by Sageous. I don't recall actually reading them and no contents or subjects, but I remember opening them, and they kept coming.

I wonder whether this dream is more like a metaphor for my headache: being bombarded by PMs?

I have a new habit of writing down before sleep a few things to watch out for during sleep, elements for my day that are likely to make their way into my dreams:

For example last night due to that thread on lucifer followers on DV, I was expecting to maybe dream of the devil or something like that, and I was all ready to face him and tell him that he is not real if I became lucid. Lol

Instead I dreamed about cleaning my fish tank. Of course, I should have realized that the guilt over postponing the water change yesterday would get into my dream! Alas, I did not become lucid.

My fish tank in my dream was not at all like in real life. It had some sort of skull decoration, which was buried under something else - a hidden skeleton? It had yellow sand and tree roots. I did not quite see or don't remember what creature lived in my dream fish tank, but I have the sense that it was quite inappropriate for a tank this size and maybe even for a tank at all. (For all i know with all my kitten dreams lately, it might have been a kitten.) I was trying to remove things that leach calcium into the water before refilling the tank (this is due to my trying to sort out in reality how to adjust alkalinity to suit snails, but actually they probably need more calcium not less).

Another dream fragment: I also dreamed something about left hand and upper hand.