side notes

You know, DEILD has always sparked interest for me. But im not good at it. In fact, ive only succeeded in this technique once, a long time ago. Then I just tried and failed miserably forever after, waiting for the day when SP would show its ugly little face again. And it did. This morning. After a series of dreams, I wake up at about 7. Now these dreams were really weird, because they all revolved around me trying to find good dream scenes for my ideal LD Movie. I like to imagine how epic an LD movie would make in RL (excluding Inception of course). In diff scenes, including one with a truck and my friend Tam, I look around.

This was amazing, because it made me experience a kind of lucidity I had never experienced before. Throughout the whole process, I kinda knew I was dreaming. Kinda. I mean, the plot itself was about dreams. So close, yet so far. At one point, im in the park in my neighborhood and my mom starts telling me how if she was lucid she could do stuff. I tell her its easy, and in my head I sort of think to myself while staring at a house: I was lucid, this house would explode. It didnt, of course. But I look at a stop sign and try to bend it with my mind. As I slowly become lucid, I wake up.

Before I even get to realise im in my bed comes instant visual HH. In my head im like: Holy shit its about time! Finally another DEILD! Vibrations start to come, but im keeping my cool. Besides, its my second time Then...I open my mouth. For NO REASON. I just felt like opening my mouth, so I did. What a jerk. To my defense, I guess I wasnt 100% aware, but I knew completely what was going on. Sigh... I guess it wasnt meant to be. I decided not to add the brief moment of lucidity at the end, because I felt it was too small to cheat. At least im at home tomorrow, I might get a chance to redeem myself.

Wel see

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm at the camp I went to as a kid [Not the one mentioned in the catchup post below, another one] with my dad. The lodge is a Marie Callender's [Cool!], and we're going out to dinner there. We get a table and order coffee and cookies. Mom is already there and tells us to come over and join her at her table. She's mad at us for not seeing her when we came in, or looking for her in the crowd. Dad and I get up and move to her table, bringing our coffee and cookies with us.

While we're in the restaurant [I think], I start looking back at old pictures of myself on various camping trips. One of them is of my and several of my Literacy AmeriCorps friends, including Laya, Jen, and Chelisa. The oldest picture is from junior high school. It's a big, panoramic picture with lots and lots of kids and their camp counselors in it. I'm near the far right, next to Erica. [She didn't even go to my junior high.] Those of us who are on that side of the picture are standing near the grassy edge of a cliff; one of the boys on in the picture is pretending to be about to step off.

I wake up in my current bed. I try several times to turn on the lamp next to it, but the bulb just flickers and sputters every time I try. I turn the knob until the flickering stops, tighten the bulb in its socket, then try again. Still nothing. I go out into the hall to look at the digital clock on one of our cable boxes, to see what time it is. It says 7:39, which disappoints me. Aw, man! It's time to get up, I think. Then I look again and see that I made a mistake: it's only 2:39. So, I get my notepad and start taking notes on the dream I just had.

...And then I woke up for real. This time, I remembered to do the nose-pinch RC. I was very annoyed with myself for not doing any RCs before and not catching the FA, especially when I realized that I had missed not one, but two of the classic dream signs, one right after another. My mind is great at giving me clues that I'm dreaming; I'm just oblivious.

After that, it seems to take me a really long time to get back to sleep. While I'm trying to do so, I think, Oh, crap, I can't talk to Cj on the phone tomorrow at 9, because that's when I'm meeting with Frank. I get up, take my laptop into the study, and sleepily start writing her an e-mail explaining that we'll have to postpone our date to talk on the phone because I have a conflicting appointment. I'm working in Yahoo! Mail [which is what I use for my main e-mail account in reality], and press Send. Suddenly, annoying, circus-y music starts to play out of the computer's speakers, and the screen is filled with a weird, old, basic HTML page with a colored background. The page appears to scroll down automatically. One of the first things to appear on it is a single sentence of text that contains my name. This is what makes me realize what's going on: I've stupidly allowed my Yahoo password to get phished by entering it into a fake website, and now my laptop has a virus. I let out a long string of curse words (actually, the same curse word repeated many times). Windows starts scanning my computer, trying to fight the virus.

Mom and P. are coming home. According to the digital clocks on the cable boxes, it's 12:02 A.M. Leaving my laptop on the floor of the study, I go outside to the street to meet them. They're coming home in a red VW New Beetle (where did they get that? I wonder silently), which they're parking on the curb across the street from our house, because our two regular cars [the ones we own in reality] are taking up both spaces in the garage. I come over to greet them as they're getting out of the car. As we walk back toward the house, I look at the side yard and see that there's a bamboo tree that sort of looks like a fountain there. Ooh, that's pretty! I think. P. goes back to put some more CDs in the New Beetle. [Neither it nor the bamboo tree exist in reality, of course, but I didn't realize that anything was strange until after I woke up. :/ ]

I woke up for real at 5:00 and took down more notes. I realized in hindsight that it hadn't actually taken me as long to fall asleep as I had thought; at least part of the process, and everything after that, had been a dream. I didn't actually have any such appointment with Cj, anyway. I was amazed at how completely and totally this dream had convinced me that I was in reality.

I'm indoors somewhere, and I'm wearing a cowboy hat. I look behind me and see my friend D.W. there, riding in a wheelchair. I think, Oh, good, she got a wheelchair. I feel the cowboy hat on my head and think, Oh, yeah, this is a dream. I can feel the by-now-familiar sensation of lucid-dream consciousness. I open my dream self's eyes and look very briefly at my hands, which appear normal, then up at my indoor surroundings. To engage more fully with my dream self and its sense of touch, I reach up to touch the brim of the cowboy hat with both hands, then take it off. I'm sitting in something [possibly another wheelchair, but I don't see it, so I'm not sure]. I stand up and try to turn around and talk to D.W., but just then, I heard my mom talking out in the entryway, which took my attention away from the dream, which instantaneously kicked me back into reality.

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Side notes:
I should choose my MILD affirmations with more care. The ones I focused on the most this past night were “I am self-aware and in control in my dreams” and “I bring clarity, lucidity, and stability into my dreams.” These backfired rather spectacularly in my second dream of the night. It was perfectly clear and stable, and, as far as I could tell, I was just as self-aware and in control of my own actions as I am in reality. And yet, I never realized that I was dreaming. I focused on that aspect more as I was trying to get back to sleep after 5:00, and it worked, if only briefly.

The past two nights I've had complicated lucid dreams, that I only remember in fragments. I'm not remembering to remain motionless when I wake up, and every move I make weakens my memory of the dreams. They are very weirdly disjointed dreams that possibly mark different brain modes and rhythms. Or possibly just minor adjustments of my head while asleep?

I was in a multi-storied apartment building crossed with a community center. It had vibrant red checkered floors and lots of friendly people. I was with ex-girlfriends off and on. And I was also with a group of friends and family. At some point I was lucid and started to fly. I vaguely remember a flying Disneyland style tea cup! I was using it to fly others around with me. I also remember passing through "a rip in the dreamscape."

To my horror, I remember very little about the events leading up to the fantastic conclusion:

I was standing in front of my Mother and Ex-girlfriend. I was holding a cylindrical rod in my hands. I asked them in a somewhat smug tone: "Do you like how I merged the dream world with the real world, permanently?"

I remember they were reclined with drinks, looking very comfortable in the luxury high rise apartment I was standing in. I remember reviewing in my mind the portals that merged the "two worlds." The rod was about 1-ft long, made of fine grain wood, and had two silvery caps on each end. Similar in shape to a pipe bomb.

non-dream - non-lucid - lucid

17/11/10 I decided to go back to bed anyways and managed to sneak in another lucid. Albeit an extremely non-productive and boring one. I was in some sort of public institution and my intuition told me it was educational, like a university or high school and I was lucid pretty much from the word go (I was sleeping very lightly at all times and the build-up of the dream reminded me, sans the conscious awareness prior to the dream, of a WILD experience in the beginning, the way the scene went from randomly organised images gradually towards an integrated scene with plot.)

A few friends and I were heading down the hall towards a concert. I didn't really feel like I had the energy to start taking full control of the dream and I feared I would wake up if I attempted it so I only made minor adjustments, like jumping from table to table a bit long. I even did try flying but had no success, although I did manage to at one point follow along running on the walls of the lower level of the tunnel. It wasn't gravity alteration it was more me keeping a telekinetic pressure towards the ground to keep me in position. I sort of just decided to go with the plot and see what would happen, and as we got to the concert it turned out that it was a Nik and Jay event... groovy... or... something. In any case we took place on the high grounds and mainly sat chatting away. One of the artists came up and joined in on the laughter, which he was aware was directed at the band he was in. At a certain point in a song, which both included a slight break in the music and a rather obscene video shot of a bloody (literally!!) anus up close, I farted to the amusement of the people around me as they gradually found out that it was not an inherent aspect of the song. I didn't actually do it on purpose and to be fair I think it was my physical body doing it, which would also explain the slow realisation rate of myself and DCs in the immediate vicinity. I woke up.

Dream Recall I
August 3rd 2010
Total of dreams: 2

It's nighttime. Me, my sister, her husband and my mom are standing in a bus. We need to go to a toilet, so then we walk off the next bus stop. I try to find a toilet nearby. The toilet I find fills the whole room, and is extremely dirty. The method that was used to divest was to put a big, flat bowl under your butt, and in the center of this bowl was a tiny hole where you could... divest through. The toilet itself was formed like waves, and you had to go on top of the bowl (probably 2 meters from the ground) to sit. I had to empty this divestment in the bowl in a larger hole on top of the wavy toilet. Since the divestment didn't go through, I felt like I had to hide it somewhere. In the door, when I was done, I turned around to the toilet and looked upon it with a feeling of dirtiness.

* * *

In my hotel room I made love to a dark-haired guy with curls. He had white clothing. I couldn't see his face, maybe because of the high brightness in the very dream, and everything was in fact black and white. That night, I had an extreme feeling of horniness. It was raining outside the window, and a man was standing there (in a bird's-eye view, since we were a few floors above him) with a very special gun, with him shooting against our window. I didn't care, I was feeling safer than ever. The bullets went slowly through the rain. They looked more like mini-comets. He hit neither us nor the window, so he gave up and walked away.

I met a german lady who claims to have mediunic powers. I didn't tell her much about myself, only that I had lucid dreams 'cause I wanted to see if she also did, but at some point in our short conversation, she grabbed my arms, looked deeply into my eyes and almost in a trance she gave me the following message...
That my energy is totally compassionate and peaceful, that I lack wrathfulness and therefore in this life and in this world I'm not meant to be a warrior, but that I had been a ninja before and that in the dream world my dream ninja is still alive and kicking and is her mission to fight the evil powers that move between dimensions. Then she went on with some advice on how to strengthen my dream ninja.
I thought this was awesomely cool.

Within 1 year Within 2 years Within 3 years

Good morning! This is my new long term goals list. I've thought alot about this, and this is what I would like to achieve in my dreams over the next couple of years.

1. Having Long Lucids - I need to make my lucids longer! The longest one I've had has only been about 3-4 minutes. To even be able to try the other things out, I need to learn how to make my lucids longer.
   
   
2. DEILD - Everytime I am about to wake up from a lucid dream, I will from now on, just lie still and try to go back into it. I definitely have to learn this, since my lucids aren't very long. And even if they do increase in length later on, I can accomplish so much more if I manage to do a DEILD.
   
   
3. Master Super Powers - This is something I really love, and want to do first to keep my spirit up while trying to get lucid more often. This includes mastering: Flying, Telekinesis, Explosions, Pyrokinesis, Super Strength. You name it.
   
   
4. Teleportation - I really need to learn how to teleport. If I want to explore the world, and not just get stuck in the random dream scenario I happen to become lucid in, this is a must.
   
   
5. Summoning - To summon an ally of some sorts, or just any kind of clothes, weapons or creatures. I aim to be able to have a companion later on, which I can call on and will help me out in my dreams.
   
   
6. Transformation - Transform into different kinds of things. This would be very cool, because I know from normal dreams that transforming does not only change appearance, but perspective and emotions. There's nothing cooler than being a bloodthirsty vampire or werewolf
   
   
7. MILD - Mastering this technique is my goal. I am already trying almost everyday with mantra work, meditation and positive thinking. I'm not sure I will master it within 3 years, but I think it is possible with hard work!
   
   
8. Become Good - I am a person who thinks logically, but I also care alot about those around me. This isn't the case in my dreams, since I know it's not real. I then unleash and do whatever I want. I just love the feeling of power and making people respect or fear me. I don't mind exploring and doing bad things in the beginning, but in time I would want to try to change my "dreamself" into a kind, loving and healing person.

That's it! I will do the first 3 at the same time while becoming lucid. First off stabilizing the dream and trying to keep a cool head, then master superpowers and do an L-DEILD when I wake up.

Please comment with any suggestions within any category or questions.

Keep on dreaming, HARE BRA!

Awake, Non-lucid, Semi-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm taking some sort of computer certification test using Prometric's testing software. I get to the end of the test, and the software gives me a message saying that the computer hasn't been recording any of my answers after the first four or five, and there are only 4 minutes left on the test's countdown clock, so there's no time to go back and answer them again. The timer runs out, and the software gives me a big fat zero as a test score. Very distressed, I run down to the end of the row of computers where I'm sitting, which is in the center of a large, open room. There's a desk with another computer on it in a cubicle at the end of the row, with one teacher/supervisor sitting at the desk and another standing outside the cubicle. I tell the one standing outside the cubicle what happened, but I see that the one sitting at the desk has my green-and-white CompTIA ID card right there, with my picture on it and everything. That tells me that I must have passed the test; otherwise, they wouldn't have made an ID card for me.

Guy is there. I follow him into another room, where there is a big, black laser printer. He explains to me how sometimes, the test results get sent directly to the printer without being saved on the computer, and that's what happened to me. I say, “So I didn't just lose an hour and a half of work?” He says, “No.” [In the dream, I actually had the false memory of working on that test for the last hour and a half.]

Woke up at 11:55 P.M. (after having gone to bed at 10:20 P.M.) and was really surprised at how short a time I'd been asleep. I exclaimed, “That was only one cycle?! Wow!” That was a really long and detailed dream for a first cycle. I felt that this was a promising sign, and decided right then and there to try for a lucid dream later. (I'm supposed to be cycle-adjusting right now, but I was feeling impatient. Sorry.) I took some notes, then went back to sleep.

[Fragment] I'm interacting with all the characters from Inception this time. [I don't remember anything we did, except that] At one point, a bunch of us are sitting around a dark wood dining table, apparently in a restaurant.

[Fragment] I'm in House #2, upstairs, and I shoo a cat out of my bedroom. I know that it's already too late; it's been in the room long enough that I'm going to start having allergic reactions when I go into my room.

Woke up at 4:25 A.M., took down some more notes, then listened to the second half of my binaural beats file and did some MILDing. It worked.

I'm following my friend Sam K. and his girlfriend [who I can't identify as a specific person in this dream] through the entrance to a department store in a mall. There are other people in the store. I pass two different old men who are really tall and each have two sets of eyes right on top of each other, and are wearing two pairs of glasses on them. I think to myself, Those men must have an unusual deformity. Or I might be dreaming. I don't attain full lucidity or self-determination yet., though. [I didn't think to RC, either. D'oh.] I continue following Sam and his girlfriend. They start climbing a wide, white flight of stairs up to the second floor of the mall. I speak aloud to them, saying something along the lines of, “Guys! We could just take the elevator!” They either ignore me or just don't hear me.

Very short dreamskip. I'm on the second floor of the mall, looking up at a raised, square, brown section of the ceiling. I recognize it as the ceiling of the mall we used to go to all the time when I was a kid. [Which doesn't look at all like that in real life. Weird.] At that moment, I definitely know I'm dreaming, because I'm somewhere I wouldn't normally be in reality. I think to myself, F*** yeah. I'm here. [“Here,” in this case, meaning “in a dream,” not “at that particular mall.”]

I stop to take a good look around and touch things, to make sure the dream is stable so that I can explore it. [I'm learning to do this as a habit – yay!] I touch the carpet and look closely at the pattern on it. It's dark gray with little rectangular flecks of various colors on it in rows. I start walking around in the mall. Sam and his girlfriend are gone. This part of the second floor is the food court. I cross over the walkway that bridges one side of the mall and the other. There are white tables and chairs everywhere. One of the fast-food restaurants in the food court is an Orange Julius. I pass it, then turn around to listen and watch while somebody makes some kind of public announcement about something. [I don't remember what they said now.]

It occurs to me that since this is a dream, I can climb over the chairs and tables with impunity. I climb up onto a table, walk across it, step down onto a chair, then hop back down onto the floor. The impact feels lighter than it would have in real life. I say something like, “Sure enough, no one cares!” [Wow. That's quite a shift from the respectful attitude I had toward the DCs in my journal entry dated 05-Nov-2010. This worries me.]

I continue walking along through the food court, then think, Why am I just walking? I can fly. I can explore faster if I fly, too. So I start flying, going only a little faster than I'd been walking, and staying at about the same height above the floor of the mall as my eyes are when I'm standing up. [I'd never flown indoors or in front of DCs before, so it makes sense that I would be cautious about it.] There are two vaguely gangster-ish guys in front of me, one of whom says to me, “You're lookin' at me the wrong way.” I ignore them and fly right on past them. I head toward a row of glass-and-black-metal doors hung with dark red curtains. This is the entrance to another department store. Strangely, I find it difficult to fly toward them with any speed at all. It feels like trying to push one pole of a smaller magnet (me) toward the same pole of a much bigger magnet. I realize that it would be much easier going if I started flying backward, so I decide to release my deliberate control over my flying and let myself be pulled backward, just to see where I end up. The unknown force pulls me backward through the air very quickly. Much to my dismay, I wake up. I might have guessed that that was what would happen.

-------
Side notes:

I didn't wear my cardboard-square bracelet at all tonight, which suggests that it isn't the deciding factor in whether or not I succeed in inducing a lucid dream. It has to be either the MILD affirmations or the binaural beats file. (Or both; how do I know that the combination isn't more than the sum of its parts?)

October 31, 2008

Dreaming Lucid Awake sidenotes

I was in the cafeteria where my school variety show was. We just got finished with the last show. I then became lucid and started to think of the things I could do. I picked up a nearby water bottle and dumped it on one of my friends head. (just because I could!) I laughed and said to her, "Ha, it doesn't even matter because this is my dream!" I then went over to the window to look at the outside and it was dark out with stars. There was smoke coming out of the building so I bragged to my friend Cat that I could make all of that smoke disappear right out of the sky at my own will. Using my power I did it and made all of the stars really visible. Then I made a bunch of butterflies come out of the bushes and I could control them around. Then the dream started to fade. I awake and then I'm laying there thinking, I really want to continue that dream. It all came back to me except my location was different. Hey, I'm still lucid! I thought. I went and looked around and it was as if I was in a big living room with a tall ceiling. There was blue carpeting and a couple vending machines and couches. There were people on the couches but I don't remember their faces. I walked over to a light switch to see if it would actually turn on a light. I flipped the switch and a light shined on my friend. It was weird to me because usually in dreams, this doesn't happen. I remain lucid, and walk over to a vending machine. I waved my hand at it and out came a pop. I gave it to one of my friends and then looked at my hands. I counted five fingers on each but they didn't look right. The last thing I remember thinking is, In reality, I'm really just laying in bed dreaming all of this. Then I woke up. I had fun though!

I realize now that this is not a good method for being lucid. Distorting reality makes the dream bland and blurry. It was not a very clear lucid but it was still good. I also realized later on that I performed a DEILD without even knowing it. If anyone reads this, I'm warning you now not to do this in your LDs because it makes the dream fade, FAST. You should always find an excuse to why you have the powers. i.e. when I controlled the smoke I should have picked up something that gave me that power. Or have someone teach me how to do it. You get the picture... If not PM me and we'll talk!

I can recall a bit from last nights dreams, but I don't want to remember them, to be perfectly honest. Therefore I won't write them down anywhere, I'm just making this post so that I stay in the habit of keeping a DJ.

No lucids anyway, if you hadn't guessed.

I don't remember my dreams last night, and I think it's because I went online this morning and a bunch of shit happened on fb, and now I'm too angry to remember.
I know I woke up a lot through the night. I just didn't sleep well. Blah.

12.11.2010

Notice (Note)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I haven't been updating my Dream Journal for a while due to my very important 'O' Level Examinations, which ended today. Well that's about to change now. From now on I'll put in more effort in keeping this Dream Jounal alive and also have a successive lucid dream.

I also re-started my DJ 2.6, kinda like starting a new.

[[That night, I decided to write down my intent in my DJ before going to sleep. They are in order of importance]]

Intent: Recall -> Lucidity -> Summon Swords

I was on a giant white telephone for some reason. I can't recall much but I remember noticing it wasn't normal. I became lucid just like that and did the nose pinch breathing RC to make sure. I could only breathe in from one nostril though so I was confused [[I woke up and realised I had a runny nose only from one side IWL]] So I thought "What should I do? I remembered writing down my intent in my DJ so I attempt to make 2 swords appear out of thin air in my hands [[A cool power a character I made up has]] But it wasn't working. The giant telephone disappeared during that time. I woke up afterward. I was in my bed, writing the dream in my DJ when I WOKE UP AGAIN!

This is a really old one but I figured I might as well post it just in-case anyone wanted to bother reading it, it's just a few notes about a fragment I remembered a while back.

I remember something about an amusement park, there were other 'classmates' with me, I don't know if they were friends or what, I want to say a teacher was there too but I don't know for sure if that's what he was. He had glasses, brownish black hair, a very shortly trimmed beard, and looked to be in his early-mid forties. He was wearing a brown suit. I don't even know where he comes in in all of this, I just remember a person like this being in my dream at the time. I'm not sure if we were on a field trip or if we snuck in or not either. It was dawn between night and morning, though still mostly nighttime.

I remember a yellow spiral slide, and I was going down it, and there was a small puddle, but it seemed huge for some reason. I don't really know how to explain it, it's just one of those weird dream things. Then, I remember a green roller-coaster, I was climbing on the structure of the ride for some reason, but I wasn't in the actual coaster, I was on the rails instead, it went about I'd say a hundred feet up, but I was near the base at the curve. There was no coaster on the tracks.

Today I was so tired that I started to Rem with opened eyes while sitting in course. OMG, my eyes just kept closing all the time. I was never so exhausted