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Morning of July 13, 2017. Thursday.



In the beginning of my dream, I somehow carelessly cut my left arm and my right hand on something. There is mild pain. I notice that the cut on my left arm is deep. It is along my left forearm, on the left side when my hand is downwards, and straight over nearly its entire length. Later, I rub on some sort of medicinal cream that is supposed to help seal the cut.

I eventually notice that my cut is dry but open. I can see another layer of skin underneath. There is not much pain anymore, but I am somewhat annoyed at having the cut.

At a later point, my entire left forearm opens up somewhat like a pouch (via the long cut) into a partly hollow space. There is no blood, but there does seem to be sections of tissue and “bone”. My view of it seems magnified, although the inside of it would actually have to be much bigger than in reality to contain what it does. I can still move it about normally. Curiously, I notice about four metal cables coming out from where my elbow would be, which are apparently connected to strips of muscle. I consider that maybe someone had changed my arm into a robotic arm without me knowing about it. There are also at least two glass and metal structures that are shaped like rectangular prisms, the metal strips along the edges and connecting at the vertices.

I find myself in a library (more as if the ambiguous setting suddenly rendered a library counter feature) and I ask a person at the counter to look at my arm. Two people, an unfamiliar male and an unfamiliar female, look at it and comment. According to what I hear after I ask them about what it is made of, it is apparently believed that my arm is normal and that a person’s arm actually does have metal cables and such inside yet is still an organic natural form. I am still puzzled.

Eventually, I start to notice objects within the hollow area closer to my elbow (though still in my forearm). I see about six 3.5" computer disks and about three cassette tapes. They have handwritten labels. I do not take them out. I also see a VHS tape. (Imagine trying to visualize a VHS tape inside your arm with a lot of room to spare, but this is somehow resolved in my dream self’s viewpoint.) I consider that the items may have been left there as some sort of record of the process that was used to change my arm into something robotic.

In the last scene, I go into a hospital to ask about the nature of my arm, but it still seems the arm itself is supposedly normal. Eventually, I see jewelry and a large number of mostly silver coins (possibly American) inside the area closer to my elbow.

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10/22/14 Multiple FA's caught and a-ha moments but not sure how many LD's to count, so just count 2.

*Ironing, water pooling on stairs, Son gets out of bed and starts frantically brushing teeth-weird...wait he's not home.

Started 3rd person, Threesome negotiated between husband, wife and another woman, I come into the scene as the husband, 1st person.

Memory of a first a-ha moment in this last series of lucidity in the late morning but not able to retrace the memory back far enough to recall, probably due to a series of FA's. Parts remembered:

FA: laying in bed holding a large round stick about waist level and twirling it around in the air realizing I am dreaming and how real it feels. Like guitar the other night.

FA to WILD like transition with various HH's, one scene forms with a little boy who I think looks maybe like a girl and I try to morph her into Girl Friday.

FA Apartment/Motel-like - I "wake up" and at first think something along the lines of ok this is my apartment, this is normal/IWL (even though I don't live in an apartment...FA's can be tricky!) I hear water the sound of a shower running and walk that way. Door to shower room is closed. Sink outside is running/filling, water is orangish. Weird...hmm I'm dreaming again, look at mirror and confirmed by feeling sleep mask but not showing in mirror image. Decide Girl Friday will be in shower but dream fades when opening door.

Spin out of fading dream into outdoor courtyard and restaurant and waiter that looks familiar before fading to bed for good. 218 & 219 Night time intention seems more important than ever.

Using memory list tool to remember dreams during night. Did not list them all here. Daniel Love's peg system.

(okay that took too long, need to find quicker way to document LD's. Maybe one picture images.)

10/21/14 FA thinking about previous dream, caught, stunning Angelina Jolie look-alike, romance, sex, nice butt, most awesome dream breasts ever!(nice size, awesome shape, the size and color of areola, vivid), vivid close up of her"ahem". Wowzers! 217


10/18/14 lucid at seeing a baby or toddlers arm in a position in which it would be propping up his head, but only the arm is visible. Aha. <memory gap> Find a dream guitar and start playing it like I am an awesome guitarist. Three notes using lower strings, three notes using upper strings and then slide my other finger up the guitar (sorry I don't know the terminology...no musician...yet!). Was able to remember the basic sound/rhythm IWL. Feel myself back in bed with my fingers grasping the edge of the bed and I can still almost feel the guitar but it is fading. 216

<gap in lucid nights: late nights, travelling, even a 0 recall night in here with only a memory that I was just dreaming something but can't remember what on that night; other nights varying degrees of recall but most notably low during late late to bed nights and during travel>

10/8/14 Seeing a ghost sitting at the foot of my bed with his head bowed down in shame. I think about my big goal question mentally: "What is the biggest thing holding me back in life?" and start verbalizing by asking the ghost/dc what his name is several times. The name Eric pops into my head. This brings up conflict which I assume is pointing to an inner conflict within myself and this comes in the form of a struggle with the "ghost." This struggle claws at my lucidity until I wake into an FA not caught. Same house, my grandmother's or somewhere visiting her. 215

10/6/14 ja han ska liva; In car and decide with turmoil around the best place to park is just above the ground - okay...I'm dreaming. Get out girl named Becky, about 15, keep going and get onto a bus, mooning people as they get on and go to a dark haired Hispanic? woman and she gives me a bj. I even think for a moment, what if she were to take a bite but I suppressed it well and went on in pleasure! 214

1:42 p.m.

I thought I was awake. I was on the bed. I can feel the bed. I can feel my body. I can see my room. The light was in. But I move my arm in front of me and I can't see it. I can't move it or can't see it. Am I getting blind? I can see my right arm move via my right eye. Realized it's a sleep paralysis. I willed myself to wake up. No go.

I am starting to panic. I locked my door, so no one can come in and help me. I moved but my eyes are still faulty. Afraid. How can I live with a bad eyesight? I thought up dozens of ways to live. I am hearing the audio playing in the background. I want to wake up. But I can't. I'm still in the in between. I tried moving my body and feet. I can still hear the audio. I moved my right arm and took the phone so I can change the audio; didn't work. I'm still asleep. Relaxed somehow. I just have to wait it out. Went into a semi-aware dream. Moved in the "room" and did capoeria moves. I jumped-crunched. McDo. Meeting all N2. Donnie. BP nearby. Change of venue. Closer. Checked my body on bed. Still can't move. I was on the bed trying to move. I can but not awake.

Finally woke up completely. Moved my arms, checked my room.

I was visiting a hospital ( not as a patient, just visiting), and I was walking through the halls and this doctor (at least, I assumed he was) was torturing the patients there. I witnessed as this guy whose arm as hanging off by just a little bit of skin got beat repeatedly with his own arm

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a room with a couple other people, possibly my mom and great-grandmother. The people were talking with each other in a normal, quiet tone of voice.

I was looking at my left arm. I had three gashes on my forearm. One ran down from my wrist about 15cm. Another ran at about the midpoint of my inner forearm's side, along the bone, and was about 7cm. The other was just a small gash, about the size of a large coin, in the center of the underside of my forearm.

The gashes all had a dry,plasticky, purplish look. The big gash showed a few layers of purplish "flesh," which lightened as they went futher down. Each of the layers had a grid-like pattern in them, as if the flesh were a web of little squares.

I thought, by the dry, plasticky look of the wounds, that they were healing. In fact, the large wound was the only one still completely open. The second wound was just a dark purple line of exposed flesh bumping up on my arm. The smallest wound was really only like a rough, bruised spot.

But I still wondered whether the large wound would heal, or whether I would get huge gashes in my arm like this again. The gashes may possibly have been from something like a disease, as opposed to my actually having gotten cut by something.