Recent DJ Posts

I was on vacation at this tropical beach with my family. Out in the ocean were these massive tornadoes. The news was reporting that it was dangerous and I was beginning to agree. The tornadoes were doubling in size and there were about 8 or so of them. At some point someone got caught in one and it completely flung them upwards and spun them around painfully.

Then, I went into a cave and it turned into a mini-game. The point of the game was to get to the end of the course. For some reason I was playing the character Donald Trump and was sliding on my butt down these rock platforms. The cave was blue and there were three or four platform jumps that sloped downwards to get to the goal which was a light or something at the end of the last platform. In my jacket I had this gray button that I could press which would make me glide. I kept trying to win the game but fell off many times.

Ritual: The new Twin Peaks started last night, so I watched the usual Sunday shows in their second round and didn't get to bed until after 2am. I woke around 7 or 8 and looked at my iPad a bit, enough to wake up my mind, with the usual vague intention to make this into a WBTB, but the only other mental preparation I did was to remind myself that dreaming involves proprioreception, so I should pay attention to my whole body as I fell back asleep. It was 9am when I woke after the dream, which I felt had lasted only a few minutes.

FA-WILD: During my WBTB, my husband mentioned that he was going to the grocery store this morning, so when I was half-woken by the sound of the garage door, I knew he must have left. This much was evidently a real perception, but right after that, still believing I was half awake, I heard voices. I knew my brother was in his room on the other side of the house, but I couldn't account for the other voices. [DL: My brother lives on the other side of the country, and the room I thought he was in does not exist.] Was he on the phone? But there were several voices, and the sounds of people moving around. Had he invited friends over? Then I recognized one of the voices as that of my maternal grandmother. [DL: She died over twenty years ago.]

Despite the dreamlogic, these observations did actually make me wonder if I was dreaming the voices, not because of the incongruities that would have been obvious to a waking mind, but only because of my conviction that if my husband just left for the store, then no one else (besides my brother) should be in the house so early in the morning. I tested to see if I was getting any dream imagery, and sure enough, when I partially closed my eyes, the four flaps of a manually closed cardboard box appeared superimposed over the rumpled covers of the bed that I had thought I was seeing with my waking eyes. [DL: In retrospect, is it apparent that everything I observed after hearing the garage door was already in dream, so I was mistaken in believing that I had woken up. My mind was half awake, despite the dream logic, which is what led to the confusion about which perceptions were dreamed and which were real.]

I realized that if I was already seeing dream imagery, then if I was careful I could probably "get up" out of bed and into the dream just like I do in WILDs. This was easily done. I crossed the room, an accurate likeness of my bedroom, and opened the window to look outside toward what I understood to be my brother's room, on the second floor above the attached shed. [DL: The shed has no second storey.] The ground was covered with snow, and I did recognize that this was incongruous with the current season. It gave me the idea to do the TOTY that I had attempted a couple times earlier, the sled ride.

The last shot of the final show I watched last night was a woman diving backwards over the edge of a boat to go scuba diving. It made an impression on me because I had only ever dived into water face first, and at the time I had tried to imagine what it would feel like to enter the water that way. Now, as I was about to jump out the window, I decided to do it backwards like a scuba diver. For a moment I felt like I was falling and wondered if I would actually hit the ground, but then the nongravity of dream caught me pleasantly in an inverted arc, and I settled gently to my feet.

I remembered the last few times I had attempted the sled task, and how I had overcomplicated it to the point where I kept waking up before I could finish. This time I decided I'd better just get it done, even if my solutions weren't elegant. So instead of going to the trouble of finding or manifesting the necessary sled and mountaintop, I just asserted these conditions into existence. I'm on a sled, riding down a mountain. As is typical when I "brute force" things in dream, initially it felt like a fiction, but soon I began to feel plausible sensations of sitting on a sled and sliding down the snowy slope. It was far from my best work, but it sufficed.

I was sufficiently familiar with the task that before I had even intended it, my sled slipped through an irregular opening like the mouth of a cave, into a wide dark space. But then I wondered if this was good enough—I hadn't read the terms of the task in ages. Would a cave suffice, or did it have to be a proper hole through the surface of the earth? I couldn't remember, so I decided to play it safe and conjured a perfectly round hole, like the sort of thing you might see in a cartoon, just in front of me on the lower floor of the cave. My sled and I slipped right through, and at this point my interest perked up, because I didn't know what to expect, and had not planned or intended anything past this point.

It was dark down here, and I had no sense of the borders of the space, yet I could see the details nearest me perfectly well in the nonlight of dream. The place felt public and even familiar—familiar as a type rather than a specific location—but I can't think of how to relate it to anything in WL. A "town square" might be the closest analogue, but of course in WL town squares don't tend to be in enormous caverns underground.

I felt my mind shift over into observation mode and began to take deliberate note of the things I saw, but at the same time I felt really hungry and couldn't resist impulsively tasting everything. [WL: I hadn't eaten much for dinner and had even felt hungry again by the time I went to bed, so this was a genuine bleedthrough sensation.]

My sled had disappeared in the transition through the hole, so now I was on foot. The first object that I passed, on my left, was a piece of fabric that had been fashioned into the form of an elephant, about about eighteen inches wide. It was attached to the top of a pole stuck in the ground, elevating it to just above waist height. I pulled the fabric elephant off the pole to give it a closer look as I continued to walk. White was the dominant color, but the details were stitched in brightly-hued threads, red and blue and green. The base fabric had a thick pile, almost fur-like, akin to what you might see on a stuffed animal, but the object overall was flat, lightly padded like a thin quilt. My hunger impelled me to take a big bite, and in my mouth it had the taste and texture of a sort of bland taffy. (Tastes are rarely very distinctive in my dreams.) I dropped it and moved on.

The next object I encountered was also on a waist-high pole, and about the same size as the elephant. This one was made of paper and a bit more three-dimensional—it resembled a large origami fish folded from patterned paper. The taste and texture were even less remarkable, but I was so hungry it felt good to be chewing something.

As I observed with mild amusement the way my hunger was driving me to try to eat things that didn't even resemble food, the rational part of my mind responded that this being a dream, there was no reason I shouldn't try to eat literally anything I could see. I put this to the test, breaking off random bits of any surface I came across and nibbling on them. One thing I remember distinctly was a table. It was a round table covered by a long, dark-hued tablecloth. I think there was a vase of flowers in the center but otherwise it was bare, so I grabbed a hank of the tablecloth and started noshing on that. I was cramming far more in my mouth than I ever would in WL, but I didn't worry since I knew that this stuff had no real substance.

I was still in snacking mode when I came across a white-bearded gentleman in a navy blue blazer. The bronze buttons caught my eye, and without so much as saying hello, much less asking permission, I reached out and twisted off the top button, bringing it to my eyes for a closer look. Tiny convex letters around the top spelled out "Bartholomew," and a small human figure occupied the center of the button. "Saint Bartholomew?" I asked the gentleman from whom I had taken the button, while trying to remember if there was really such a saint or if I was just free associating. [WL: I still wasn't sure so I googled it. Apparently Saint Bartholomew was an apostle, and although I was not consciously aware of that, I suspect the influence of day residue, because in The Leftovers last night several disciples were mentioned, and I've never been able to keep disciples and apostles straight.] The man shook his head, and when I looked again at the button I saw the letters rearrange themselves into the name "Balthus," which seemed to make a bit more sense... in a way that I can't entirely explain. Still hungry, I licked the button. I thought it tasted a bit sour and metallic, a bit like licking a D battery but without the tingle. The bronze button had been darkly tarnished but now gleamed where I had licked it, so I licked it a few more times to polish the highlights. I looked at the letters again and now they read "Ubewiz," a name meant nothing to me, though I thought it sounded vaguely Polish. [DL: I just noticed the symmetry between the verb "polish" and the adjective "Polish," so I suspect dreamlogic lay behind this observation.]

FA: I woke up (so I thought) and immediately fished my dream journal out of the bottom drawer of my bedside table. [WL: This was a realistic detail, because although usually I keep it right on the table next to the bed, for the past few days it has been in the drawer.] I flipped through it and couldn't find a single blank page, but I didn't want to waste any time so I started writing my notes in the margins. I was jotting down keywords: "Bartholomew, Balthus, Ubewiz," read the first line. Then I included brief notes about the fabric elephant and origami fish. I hadn't gotten very far when I woke up again and realized that I had been taking my initial notes in a false awakening and would have to start over, so once again I pulled my journal out of the drawer and wrote—grateful for the blank page this time—"Bartholomew, Balthus, Ubewiz."

[Tuesday, September 25th, 2012]
Nathan and Kyle were with me in a large room with a pool of water in the middle. I wandered out into the hallway
alone and started gathering up lint off the floor- suddenly it began to fall from the ceiling a long with water drops and
pieces of bugs. I returned to the room with a feeling of urgency. The room was beginning to fill with water!

I said, "Come on, guys! Time to go RIGHT now!" We all swam to the exit and up a hallway. We were waiting for a
rollar coaster elevator to arrive when Kyle pressed a button that stopped the elevator thing- I went over to it and
re-pressed it to bring it to US, and everyone but Kyle thanked me. Tyler was now with us somehow.

My memory skips, and we're outside now. After a man showed out group that we could do anything- he stretched and
flipped and phased in and out of reality. I got an idea and knowing that I could do anything- I told Nathan to watch me
and I did a very slow and awkward back-flip in the air as if I was suspended by strings. Or like an Astronaut in space.

<I wake up to Nathan and Kyle outside tapping on my window- they had skipped school and needed somewhere to
hang for a second. I let them in and told them how they had ruined my dream! But that they were in it and how
amazing that was that they had just showed up.>

Thoughts = Blue Dreaming State = Red Awake = Black

I went to sleep at about 12:15 a.m. Just before I went to sleep I drank some apple juice, which helps getting lucid.
I can't really remember my first dreams, but about 2 hours after I went to sleep I think I got into a sort of sleep paralasis. [COLOR="red"]Everthing turned black, and to "options" appeared. I could choose the top one, which said follow me, and the bottom one was like an old theater screen with some zombies walking against something. I wasn't quite sure which way to choose, but I knew I had to follow so that I could explore my own mind, though I still don't know what it's telling me at this point. A red text appeared and told me to go with the zombie one, which I then of course did. Everything turned black but I knew I was still moving forward. I thought to myself, shouldn't there be some weird stuff my mind is telling me? So all sorts of random stuff appeared. I summoned a button that could get me the hell out of there is shit went down. I knew that I was getting closer to the target and thing got really uncomfortable so I pressed the button .
I woke up a bit scared but of course also happy, because I hadn't been able to lucis in about a week. I remembered a funny vid on yt, where ppl dressed up as zombies and pranked ppl. So I thought of that so I could calm myself, and then I went back to sleep.

ARE YOU DREAMING??

13.09.2010

Nonsensical WILD (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was really just going for an early-afternoon nap and hoping for a lucid dream, but it turned into a WILD. I felt my arm move, seemingly of its own accord. I took control of it, and used it to prop myself up on the bed. I opened my eyes as I did so. I could see my room. But I could also see my real room, I had opened my real eyes! The dream-room "fizzled" away and was replaced by my real room. I closed my eyes and tried again. This time, I was able to move freely much more quickly. I waited until I had sat up completely before opening my eyes. I could see the dream room fine. I cautiously got out of bed, keeping in mind how important it was not to move my real body. As soon as I had gotten into a standing position (ie, something totally different to the way I was sleeping), I jumped around a bit to anchor myself.

What followed was a disjointed series of false awakenings (all in different beds in my house) and short lucid dreams. In one, I had a jacuzzi bath with a beautiful girl. The jacuzzi kept emptying itself though. I employed various methods of control to keep the water in place, including THE PLUG, then "believing it would stay full", and leaving the taps on. The jets were also far too powerful. All-in-all, not a successful romantic encounter. Thanks dream-bath.



In another, I was convinced I had fallen asleep with headphones in. The sound of music premeated the dream, and I felt sure that it was coming from an external source. When I awoke, I realised I hadn't gone to sleep with headphones in, so I either imagined the music, or it came from elsewhere in my house. I recognised part of "Stacey's Mom" by Fountains of Wayne.

Later, I was in the passenger seat of my dad's car. But it was being driven by my mum, who has never driven the car in real life. I asked her a question I can no longer recall. But her reply was startling. I can't remember it either, but my reply was,
"Whoa, my mind is really getting good at simulating you! That's exactly the kind of thing you would say!" In making that statement, I wondered if my subconscious was taking note of my approval, or if "it" was even able to take messages in such a way. I'm beginning to think of my subconscious less as an entity, and more of a mass of random/chaotic thoughts, which occasionally come together to form convincing situations in my dreams. As we were travelling along the motorway, I pondered how I could actually make use of this lucid time. I remembered the task of the month then. It was a surprise that I recalled it, despite reading it once about half a month ago and deciding it was probably too hard. "Shrink yourself to the atomic level". An idea occured to me. Feeling the gearstick, I found that the top flipped open to reveal a red and a blue button. I assumed, naturally, that the red button was to transform the car into a rocket car, a la "Men in Black". The Blue, I reasoned, would be to shrink the car and its occupants. I pressed it once. The car shot forward and got a little bit smaller. But I stayed the same size. Now I had to bend over to avoid hitting my head off the roof. I pressed it a few more times, but all it did now was give the car a momentary speed boost.

Before I woke up, I heard my brother calling me. The first time, I completely ignored him. The second time, I had to do a small DEILD to keep dreaming. After the third, I realised he was now right outside my room and wasn't going to give up. I forced myself awake. What an asshole.