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13th September 2021

Recall mostly gone, left initial writing for too long.

Fragment:

I'm on our street but it's not like in waking life. It's a mix of streets from old London as in films and also of where H's mom lives. I just gout out of the car, maybe on my own. It's day time, but overcast? In the dream everything has a very real feel to it. As I'm dreaming, my memory feels fuzzy; "18, that's not the number of J's door, but this doesn't look like our street?" I think to myself.

I'm not sure what conclusion I made but I eventually go to ring the doorbell and go in. J is here briefly, I think. The house looks nothing like any of our homes, it just seems dream generated. Something about a pit or elevator shaft. Some task or chore that needs doing, possibly related to it? While indoors, it seems like the outside gets brighter than it had been.

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20th September 2021

Scraps:

Getting into fights and arguments with my eldest sibling. As a dream character he blends with some stereotype/nasty dream character archetype. He's treating me like shit and has called me pathetic a great number of times over several days (false memory). I threaten him saying "I can change but you won't like it." I resist an urge to flip the dining table against him. Mom and dad defend me in their ways. Dad mentions something about if he'd had the dream/nightmare that I had... (my recall of this trailed off but there was an implied behaviour that he was being understanding)

At some point I throw a wooden chair against the wall. (It breaks?) Night time, we're in the second floor of the old home, the kitchen is L shaped.

Some other dream also involving old home themes, recall vague. I remember looking at some M/M stuff (on the computer?) and then some kind of disagreements?

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22nd September 2021

Fragment:

In a supermarket with H. Very realistic, completely dream generated setting. Lots of running (literal?) around, as it's closing soon. Night time, they dim the lights but too much, I feel. I hope that H will complain as I am running around. Then the lights are still dim, but more acceptably so.

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Notes:

- Recall has actually not been too bad in general for the last few months, but I keep leaving recall too long or falling asleep again without enough awareness to either recall later or to set an intent to notice I was falling asleep.

- In the second fragment, there's some sort of mirroring with the initial context and an incident when I was six or seven, at school.

I haven't posted on here in a while and I wanted to start again, even though I regularly say that. Anyways:

The dream was about my family and I, along with some random girl, (not sure why) and we were at our home. While we were watching the news, we saw that the Mandarin from Iron Man 3 was about to launch a missile in our neighborhood. We were very scared so we decided to hide in the office. We got lucky enough to where it didn't hit us, though.

I remember talking to a couple of people from new zealand that I hadn't talked to since freshman year. They were about to enter a video call and when I asked if I could join they profusely apologized for not letting me on it back in freshman year.

Afterwards, I made my way to my trailer, where Edynn and her friend came around a couple of times when I wasn't looking. I remember one occasion that night in which I almost got to talk to Edynn but she ran off with a smaller version of herself and they had both changed their name to John. Whoever I was with gave me a cheap christmas decoration to hang up on the door while they played christmas music and by the time Edynn came around again I started jokingly doing devil horns with my hands to the music and headbanging. The person sitting in the driver's seat (guess my trailer became an RV?) Started honking the hilariously off-key horn. I laughed hysterically until I woke up, after which I'm I noted how non-hysterically I was actually laughing in real life and just how much I was drooling in my sleep.

Morning of February 5, 2020. Wednesday.

Dream #: 19,406-02. Optimized 2 minute read.




I have a turntable set up in a featureless, unknown location as part of a large console to use commercial music sections in new mixes.

I become annoyed because, although the music is playing through my headphones, it is also blaring through the speakers, and I do not want to annoy other people in the room. There may be a short or a loose jack. I stuff tissue paper in one input.

The setting changes. I am in an unfamiliar library. Many other people are here. I now only have a turntable on the floor near a bookcase. Although I am still thinking about mixing music, I notice a group of interesting little books on a shelf.

They remind me of the vintage Little Blue Books (Haldeman-Julius Publishing Company) I once had, but they seem to be a periodical as there are issue numbers on them, published each week since the 1900s. I read some of the content. On one back page, a couple of sentences are curiously at an angle, overlapping others. I can still read the content regarding 1930s women’s fashion. There are many pages featuring crafts. Two unfamiliar boys intend to sit down while they face the bookcase. They accidentally stumble onto my turntable. I shout at them after they fall and again when I see a crack in the middle of the tonearm. (It is flat and made of cream-colored plastic). I believe they should pay for a new tonearm. A bystander watches me.

Arnold Schwarzenegger approaches. He commands me to stop yelling at the boys. I spontaneously punch him, and he goes flying backward, all the way to the other side of the library. He transforms into a shoddy black and blue plastic robot that seems like an oversized hollow toy, with limbs that are flat in profile and somewhat skeletal. It lands on its head near a bookcase.

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If you are knowledgeable about dreams, you know that arm swinging is a spontaneous physiological stimulus for emergence from REM atonia (physical immobility while sleeping). Protoconsciousness (here as Arnold Schwarzenegger) induces this response. There is a correlation with the cracked “tonearm,” cleverly directing me to gain muscle tonality and arm mobility for waking.

My dream’s cerebral phasing stage (seeking and reading text) included vestibular phasing ambiguity (the illogical angles of the superimposed sentences revealing a conflict between my imaginary vertical orientation in my dream and my body’s horizontal position while sleeping).

Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes an unrealistic robot as in 1984’s movie “The Terminator.” Movie influence is often predominant in my dreams more than associations with real life. Protoconsciousness often personifies as either a celebrity or an unfamiliar person to block associations with waking life from a personal level. The robot’s infeasibility correlates with REM atonia. (Dolls or statues are other indicators of this type of metacognitive awareness.)

The robot’s colors are an incidental correlation with the phrase “beaten black and blue.”

Stuffing tissue paper into one input correlates with putting tissue paper in one’s ear to block sound while sleeping.

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Not really and memorable nlds. No jamie or anything else.

Lucid

Started I was in the passenger seat of a car with a blond woman driving. Wasn't sure how I got there and didn't think about it much. It was a semi desert road with foothills nearby. We parked at some store and the woman got out. Became lucid while waiting for the woman to come back. She came back and suddenly I was in the back seat. I mentioned to the lady driving that it was now a dream. The woman was a man now and some other NPC character was in the front passenger seat. The man disagreed. And we kept talking about it. The man asked where do I wanna get dropped off? I said in a city. In the back of my mind I wanted to look for Jamie. I forgot about that right after.

We stopped somewhere and now entered a building still arguing about whether or not it was a dream. I said, "Do you remember what happened before you were driving around? I don't. And you were a woman before and now you are a man!" We were in a large room now with a very high ceiling. As if to demonstrate my point I jumped up and started flying to the ceiling. I then dropped from really high and landed on my feet. The dream started fading so I wanted to slow down time. At first I was going to try the hukif technique. Then I asked the man for a watch. He had one and I pulled it off his wrist, he was a wrinkly old man now. At first it was a face watch and I was looking for the second hand. The man showed me his other watch which was digital. Now mine was digital. I was going to try slowing down the second hand when I woke up.