dream fragment

Morning of October 27, 1965. Wednesday. Supplements added on Sunday, 23 July 2017.



A large hairy light brown monster opens a door at the very start of my short dream but seems about normal-sized for the doorway. About twenty tiny people (“tiny” as resolved in conscious afterthought only), all adult men and women; most nude, some dressed; are clinging to him as if he had magnetically attracted them with his fur. He seems annoyed, apparently not wanting all the people hanging on him, but this is only my first thought as a couple other ideas form prior to waking. I do not feel threatened as I seem to only be watching my dream even though I do seem to be at the location.

It seems to be taking place in my sister Marilyn’s apartment on 901 Rose Street, the creature coming into the room from the west side, though the floor seemingly has floorboards as seen in a Harvey “Casper the Friendly Ghost” comic book. There were no discernible features in the room, as if it was mostly empty. For a very short time, it also seems that some of the people may be trying to tackle the monster, but there is also a conflicting thought that the monster may be deliberately gathering the people with its magnetic fur to perhaps cook in a stew. There is no backstory to the scene. The monster stands in the doorway, growling as if possibly annoyed by “wearing” these people and my dream ends with a slight abdominal twitch (which is not unpleasant). It is apparent that the monster does not see me, though I may be invisible or incorporeal.

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Dreams often render “impossible” scenes that cannot be resolved consciously. In this case, my dream self perceives both the doorway and the people as of normal size. However, each person would have to be less than a foot tall to resolve the scene.

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This dream is a curious and intriguing blend of two forms of waking symbolism, and in fact, taught me a lot about the nature of dreams as well as remaining a facet of why I devoted my life to understanding them.

Coalescence waking symbolism: Near the end of a dream, as in this case, ambiguous elements sometimes combine, which represents different neural energies unifying by way of the emergent consciousness event (as this dream expresses the real-time metaphor of “gathering thoughts” during the waking transition). It is a function native to the dream state.

Doorway waking symbolism: As a doorway is mainly real-time exit symbolism (other than when it is used to initiate apex lucidity), a dream’s rendering of a doorway means nothing more than the dream changing in level of awareness or ending. To conceptualize that such waking symbolism evolved from my mother being in my bedroom’s doorway waking me up in the morning as a child may be moot, as such symbolism might have developed naturally, because waking up is a biological necessity.

Biological factor: Though this is only theoretical, my dream may also contain an analogy of white blood cells attacking a parasite, not necessarily relevant to my physical status, but my sister’s. (Dreams, including precognitive dreams, revealing the changing status of another person’s health, have occurred a number of times throughout my life.)

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Personal factor: It is known that the preconscious sometimes represents a parent (or other relative or any role of authority) regardless of the nature of the rendering. If that is the case here, it seems that it could be seen as motherly discomposure over a child being too clingy.

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The original title was “The Magnetic Monster”. In 1974, when copying my oldest dreams over to newer paper and notebooks and with more mature writing and better organization, I changed the title to “The Biomagnetic Monster”. It is doubtful that I had heard the word “biomagnetic” prior to that.

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• It has been validated that doorway waking symbolism is sometimes initiated by real environmental noise while I am sleeping. This adds to the likelihood of having otherwise evolved from my mother waking me up in the morning.
• The involuntary abdominal muscle movement upon waking is most common with doorway waking symbolism. I can actually trigger this event while conscious by placing myself in a heightened state of anticipation.

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Morning of August 17, 1975. Sunday.



In my dream, I am in the middle school building (DMS), probably implied to be in eighth grade, though I will be going to ninth grade in a different building on August 25, 1975. There is a vague lucidity, enough to use my dream to focus within in expectation of something new, curious, or interesting, in this case, finding a secret passageway as I have often utilized in both liminal dream control and lucidity.

I insert some coins into a seldom-used commercial vending machine (against the north wall in the hall, probably somewhere near the middle of the building) to get a soft drink. However, there is a different response, which I had seemingly been at least partly expecting - based on, I believe, a recent student rumor. You had to put the right combinations of coins in and press the correct product-select buttons to activate and allow entry into a secret area or apparently another world.

The soda vending machine slides over (in the manner of a sliding door) to reveal a secret passageway behind the wall. I soon find myself climbing horizontally on a giant rose plant that winds horizontally through a long large metallic tunnel. This becomes sort of frustrating and boring over time, but I do not seem to be in that much danger (probably because of the usual liminal dream state awareness). Near the end of my dream, I look far down and see the lost city (from “Land of the Lost”, the original television series) but I only see Enik standing around, though he does not notice me. I do not see much potential in exploring a city of Sleestaks at this point and I am unsure how to get down to the area anyway. It is now as if I am looking at the area from a very high cliff.

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Vestibular system correlation (what the majority of my dreams have at one point or another since earliest memory) kicked in fairly quickly, though without fully waking me or even more dominant waking autosymbolism, though there were vague partial awakenings while I was climbing the horizontally-oriented vine, horizontal of course, because of my liminal awareness of how my body was oriented in sleep.

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Morning of July 5, 1975. Saturday.



This entry relates to a small part of real-life but “dreamlike” events (also experienced by my wife when she was younger long before we met) of water bugs completely vanishing from a sealed glass mason jar I usually had on the left area of the northwestern jalousie window sill over a longer time period as well as touching a kind of seemingly aquatic (either hexagonal or octagonal) orange “accordion-like worm” and watching them “explode” into tiny grain-like and plate-like parts and dissolve within a short time. I was also the only one at the time (and for years after) to fully know about the non-native snakes, including Burmese pythons (one of which went into our large shed, likely with the intent to eat a chicken) “invading” the area - which no one else seemed to believe at all, and yet which is now a recognized problem in that region (even with a related television series) years later (this has remained a common “trend” for me - to be the first or only one to see or experience something years before someone else becomes known for first seeing or knowing of it - something I have grown very used to, in fact).

Based on a dream about a “new” kind of penguin (as in actually “newly evolved” or created from nothing), I had written a story called “Penguin in a Jar”.

I was in my Cubitis home in the living room and there was a large, tall, cylindrical aquarium that held a small penguin that was very aquatic, more adapted to water and the ability of perfect, fast swimming than being suited on land at all. It would swim in spiral-like patterns from top to bottom and then back up near the water’s surface to perform a lot of fancy swimming while eating very small fish when swimming downwards again. This special new species of penguin somehow just appeared on Earth with no explanation other than being a “new creation”. One person who wants to make a lot of money on the discovery does not get anywhere when the penguin somehow becomes invisible or dissolves completely when out of the water for very long.

Years ago, even before my older dream journal entry on this, there were no other online matches for “penguin in a jar” - now there are many (Google) matches of this phrase - which I originally personally used to connect to the real-life vanishing water bug enigma. Also, to give a little more detail to all the odd coincidental connections to the much later movie “The Gate” (1987) as partly mentioned in another entry, I forgot to point out how the jar in the movie (that the moths vanish into thin air from at one point) was the same orientation (relative to where it was kept by the window and the orientation of the room) as my real-life experiences from years prior (mid 1970s).

Also see: “The New Life”.

Morning of July 4, 1975. Friday.



I have an old leather-bound book that is entitled “The Annelid War”. In some ways I think it may be science fiction, but in other ways it also seems to relate to a soon-to-air television documentary about an upcoming event. Supposedly, various species of worms become gigantic and fight each other, causing earthquakes. One rises up from the ground at a distance. I am not sure if this is a natural event or related to mutations caused by radiation or environmental pollution. My dream is mostly set outside in my backyard in Cubitis. It seems these giant worms can manifest purple lightning or perhaps draw lightning to a particular area of the ground to manipulate it.

Because of their shape, both snakes and worms have associations with the human intestine and the human spine. Because lightning resembles the human nervous system, this one probably relates to conflicting thoughts, the worms, to me, associated with spinal energy.

Morning of June 14, 1975. Saturday.



This dream scenario takes place mostly in the living room in our Cubitis home and everything is mostly the same as it is in reality. My father seems to be the only other character in my dream. (I believe there is a subtle association with Father’s Day, which would be the day after this date, though I am the one who gets a gift.) I am on the couch - and this was the time when visitors used it for sleeping. It is in its normal place in the southwest corner of the living room, lengthwise to the south wall.

I have been given a plastic model kit from Revell, I believe. It is a cobra, the snake kind, not the car model. It is black and has a couple interchangeable pieces for the final version. (I have not seen this kit in real life if there is one like it.) The finished plastic model has hinges in one section that allow it to sway side to side like a real cobra. I do not think I have finished putting the model together before my dream finally fades.

It is possible that my dream self in this case associated the Cobra Car with the cobra snake. However, I had a very early childhood dream of a cobra in the hayloft and deliberately trying to “create” it within my lucid dream in one clearer version, which can also be found in this journal (Link). There may be a connection or association, in this case, “creating” a cobra with a model rather than as a tulpa.

In real life (prior to this dream), I had gotten a large number of plastic model kits from sister Carol, for my birthday (December 20th) and Christmas, that were of animals such as a bear, deer, a couple horses (including a rather large black stallion), and so on. My mother had gotten me mostly only car models, but also a few dinosaur models later.

Morning of February 16, 1975. Sunday.



This dream mostly involves a prank on a math teacher. In real life, this teacher would continuously roll around in his desk chair from his desk to the far side of the chalkboard and back again. He was an older, shorter man with white hair, slightly chubby, and with thick glasses.

In my dream he seems even more talkative than usual and is waving his arms around asking riddles in an incorrect manner as in real life. For example, in real life, one of the ones which he always got wrong in how he asked was “If a boy jumped off a wall, is he still on the wall?" It was supposed to be asked as: "Where was the boy when he jumped off the wall?" If you say "on the wall” the response is “that was before he jumped” and if you say “in the air" the response is "that was after he jumped”.

A few members of the class somehow tie up the “portable” (which was what we called the small square trailers that were used as classrooms) to a large truck. Eventually, the truck leaves and takes the portable with it. However, the teacher does not notice this and is still talking and waving his arms even though all the students are outside near the main high school building. I watch the trailer go down the street at an odd angle behind the truck. There is a very amusing mood in my dream. It is fairly short.

Morning of November 9, 1974. Saturday.



Two small creatures are arguing, but it seems more like I am hearing or reading a script at times. They are in my father’s old room (south end of the house) in the dark under a bed that is aligned along the west windows. One is like a small lobster or crawdad (a play on “father” and his comedic routines or “crawl dad”?), the other like a small crab. I am mostly only aware of their odd shadowy forms at one point. One is a “gig”, the other a “wag” (not sure which is which - probably the lobster is the “wag”, as a lobster has a tail).

They argue about which one of them is better at various things, including standup comedy and what seems like an old Vaudeville (“Vaude” rhymes with “Claude”, both my father’s first name and mine) routine with each blaming the other about the end of Vaudeville. Not much happens. There is a point where they mostly end up only saying “…but I’m a gig” and “…but I’m a wag”. (“Gig” is the first part of “giggle” which relates to comedy and laughing, and “wag” is also short for “waggle” with the same last four letters as “giggle”.)

I try to think of what the term “Gigs and Wags” means, and think “wigs and gags” after waking. I Googled the term “Gigs and Wags” but only got one match - a typo in a 1925 newspaper ad that reads “Gigs and Wags gons renovated” when it was supposed to be “Gigs and Wagons”, I think.

I think this relates to plays on “Vaude”, “giggle” (again, for “gig”), “crawDAD”, and “crab” (in that my mother sometimes called herself a “crab” and was also a Cancer by the so-called zodiac sign). It may be a comedic or “downplayed” dream restaging of a lesser argument between my parents (which was in the back of my mind later on) as well as relate to my father’s celebrity status, though he was not primarily a comedian but a musician/singer (also in reference to “craw” for throat as he actually used that word to mean throat at times). It also relates, outside of the actual conversation (where the sex of the voices was not quite ascertained) the difference between male (lobster or crawdad in this case - and with a “tail” - which in Latin becomes the term for the male reproductive organ) and female (crab - some of which have a somewhat oval body and no “tail”).

Morning of July 20, 1974. Saturday.

Dream #: 2,770-01. Optimized 1 min 15 sec read.




In the late morning, I develop a growing concern about a brown recluse spider being in my room in the Cubitis house.

I go to the carport, intending to go into the backyard, considering it might be safer outside. As I walk, I look down and see the brown recluse "spider" embedded in the back of my right hand with minimal blood (eight small red spots in two clusters of four).

My dream self sees it as a "spider" even though it is a capacitor with eight wire "legs" (four jutting from each end). I can vaguely make out random letters and numbers on the side of the "spider's" cylindrical body (but I do not recall the sequence). My sense of awe feels artificial: as if I am creating a scene for a movie. I sense its milky "venom" is not yet in my bloodstream. My dream fades before I go beyond the east end of the carport (that would otherwise lead to our backyard).

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Causation and Influences:

Second-hand "dream interpretation" is impracticable. There are many reasons why. As a metacognitive dreamer, my dreams predominantly respond to my navigation of the dream state while in it. Here, there is a specific amalgam of two literal influences. They are both tied to somatosensory phasing from sleeping on my hand and the "buzzing" effect from lack of blood flow in this position. The first was my concern about a brown recluse spider being in my room in waking life. The second was minimally injuring my hand while tampering with the inside of a radio. The screwdriver also slipped, and capacitor gel squirted into my eye, creating my dream's illusory implication of a capacitor as a "spider" with "venom." There are additional influences, one relating to the "buzzing" (or tingling) from lack of blood flow as correlating with electricity and associations with neural energy (in navigating the dream state).

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Morning of April 7, 1974. Sunday.



I am somehow in the distant past in my “orb” form, though not sure if the implied journey was by time machine, by mental will, or due to some sort of cosmic event (as there is no recalled backstory).

Everything has a sort of strange red glow, not all the same shade, but close. There are reddish dinosaurs such as brontosaurus (apatosaurus) and “cavemen” with red hair living during the same time period. Some of these cavemen, however, are more like stereotypical movie vikings and wearing horned helmets and carrying spears with reddish arrowheads. I have a strange impression that this shade of red is “extinct” and had only existed during these more “primitive” times. The red lava seems to pose a possible threat to this world but I am not bothered.

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Red dominating a dream’s rendering sometimes relates to having slept a bit too long and such seems to be the case here.

Morning of January 19, 1974. Saturday.



I am at my middle school and in the large cafeteria. It seems to be the weekend though (as it is in reality). During this morning, in being here, I discover that most of my classmates have either been replaced by androids or have always been androids (even though their body shape is nothing like that of a real person - too simple and angular).

A girl I know; a classmate; Andrea M, is lying on her back, resembling a trapezoidal form, some sort of trapezoidal prism relative to her torso with only a few defined angles, not really resembling the human form. All of these “androids” (or whatever they really are) are not active in any way. It seems very strange to see the cafeteria filled with all these strange figures, most of which are on their back and not moving. They almost remind me of something you could just make using a fairly simple net (in the geometrical sense) folded about in the right ways. In some ways, they are almost like a type of furniture or could maybe even serve as a trapezoidal “cardboard box”. I do not think any other “real” people are around except perhaps a janitor (and we do not approach each other or interact).

Nothing much happens, though there is an odd level of curiosity as I walk about the large lunchroom.

An android or robot, or in fact any artificial person, especially if inactive (including even a doll, mannequin, ventriloquist dummy, or statue), is a “downgrading” of dream character projection. On one level, it may reflect the lack of awareness (of the conscious self) within the dream state, that is, a lack of conscious self dynamics (or conscious self identification) while in the dream. Characters rendered as such also imply static waking thoughts. The fact they are lying on their back may represent a subtle association of being aware of being in the dream state (yet still non-lucid).

The intriguing thing here is that the form of the “androids”, especially taking note of the closest (female) one, also reminds me somewhat of the shape of certain kinds of bridges as well as suggesting an overpass, of which represents the waking transition (dream self going over the bridge to coalesce into the conscious self).

Morning of September 13, 1973. Thursday.



I first dreamt of the fictional animal - the “cataroo” (long before the Internet and the potential to see that others had thought of it) at this time. In this case, it has the upper half of a cat and the bottom half of a miniature kangaroo (as it is cat-sized here). It has a very special vindication for me, personally. In this first dream of the “cataroo”, it was in a wicker cat cage with a rounded top, the cage facing west, while in the northeast area of the living room, which remains semi-dark throughout my dream - the small carrying cage itself and its precise appearance as in my dream being something that I had never seen or heard of. This was very precise precognition many years ahead, as my wife had one exactly like it when we got together many years later. Also as in my dream, the door broke off eventually.

The cage was, again, visually exact relative to my more distant future and marriage, but the rest of the precognition was a composite of other factors and facets as it often is - my wife was breeding cats at the time I went to her, and she lived in Australia (thus the cat-kangaroo mix), which I had no real-life association with at all as a boy. This is why I have always firstly looked at dreams as a literal combination of past, present, and future (even distant future) and not symbolic in an obscure or totally unrelated sense that so-called dream dictionaries try to promote.

On a lesser note, this night was the first episode of the second season of “The Waltons” television series (the episode “The Journey”, where there is some unusually complex synchronicity, one facet relating to the December 20, 1960 comic strip “Henry”). This is only relative in that the “mystery girl” or “imaginary girlfriend” and I were intimate when it was on in my dream and with Roosevelt I making a gag of the “watching the Waltons while making love” scenario in real-life. Coincidentally (or yet more subtle precognition), a similar gag was used on an actual (sitcom I think) television show a short time later, but I cannot presently recall the name.

Morning of July 8, 1973. Sunday.



[I willfully enter into what I consider may be my last dream of the morning. I maintain my lucidity, perhaps only losing a thread or two of my conscious self identity. The essence of my neural activity becomes the more tangible form of water, as it most often does, and the water expands to form a lake. I welcome the presence of female genitalia, and it is rendered as a canoe, which floats on the shimmering lake in mid-afternoon].

I look upon Lake Katherine. The area seems more rural than it is in reality. I gaze upon the beauty of the reflected trees, downwardly mirrored in the lake’s surface around its perimeter.

[I desire female company and physical pleasure, so I choose to become fully integrated within my dream self’s imaginary body.]

I am sitting in the canoe facing my dark-haired green-eyed gypsy dream girl. We begin to become intimate. My sense of touch is augmented. We mostly kiss for several minutes.

[I am enjoying my dream very much. My dream girl is passive and welcoming. I begin to become distracted by some sort of ambiance that extends beyond my will. It sounds somewhat like hissing.]

A large green sea serpent rises up out of the water on my left in somewhat of an “S” shape, hissing at us. It is not that close to the canoe but displaying at least ten feet of its body from the lake’s surface to the top of its head.

[The preconscious is warning me that I need to leave my dream even though I do not want to. Still, the preconscious’s lake denizen is rather silly-looking, modeled after the one in the Carl Barks “No Such Varmint” Donald Duck comic book story, though slightly more realistic and menacing, though I do not feel that threatened because I am lucid.]

I want to be more intimate with my dream girl but upon touching her, the tangibility of her forearm seems to dissipate. My dream world starts to dissolve.

[I float horizontally and upwards, my back downwards, in the higher mental realm of dissipating liminal space, annoyed by my dream being over. I can still hear the hissing to my left. The hissing turns out to be the real sound of the garden hose as my mother is watering the front flower box in real life at this time, some of the water spraying onto my closed jalousie windows.]

My spoiled dream is of no consequence. I married my dark-haired green-eyed gypsy dream girl on April 9, 1994.

Morning of April 1, 1973. Sunday.



I am in my backyard in Cubitis and there is what is supposedly “the longest snake in the world” a few feet south of me though I do not really feel in danger at any time. A few other unknown and unfamiliar people are around. It is a long skinny black snake that does not seem very threatening. In fact, I am not even sure if it is that much alive, though it does show some minimal signs of life. Its head is at the southeast corner of the house near the utility room and the rest of it is lined easterly across the yard almost to the weedy area prior to the train track embankment.

There is an unusual but rather vague idea that it will grow longer and longer until it reaches around the world, yet that seems not at all inevitable as it does not seem to be growing or even moving much. Not much happens, and it stays in the same area for the most part.

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It is very clear here that the snake is a “replacement” for a virtual fence between my yard and the girl who lives next door (where no barrier of any kind exists in reality). Even though the idea of a black snake keeping rattlesnakes away (which I heard fairly often during this time period) is probably not true, that does not stop a dream from utilizing such a myth. Therefore, the black snake analogy as fence and as protector is consistent as a fence also protects in a different way. In other words, at the time, I seemed to believe the girl next door needed protection from me even though the relationship we had never developed into harmful long-term repercussions. Is there a “temptation” layer as snakes sometimes represent? Perhaps on one level due to the deplorable Adam and Eve myth but only if one has heard it once too often. I could step over this virtual fence but I do not (though I do not feel threatened by it). Therefore, the snake serves as a fence, a protector, and as a reminder of temptation - all in one concise composite that dreams are so intriguingly known for.

Night of March 1, 1973. Thursday.



In real life on this day, I am twelve years old and living in Cubitis. My mother tells me that the CBS late movie of this night is “The Night of the Iguana” (from 1964), which sounds interesting to me. I surmise that it is possibly some sort of monster movie or perhaps horror and probably takes place on a small island. I want to watch it, though it is on too late for a weeknight (though my mother allowed me to watch television on a school night if I had had a longer nap, though which I did not in this case), though apparently my mother is going to at least watch part of it and perhaps tell me a bit about it in case it is shown again on a night when it is possible for me to watch it. The television sits in the northeast corner of the living room and when I sleep (from about ten-thirty, the movie starting at eleven-thirty), I dream that the movie involves at least one cat-sized iguana that climbs people’s legs, due to supposedly mistaking human beings for trees, as I had read something of this nature somewhere in real life. One boy (about my age), in particular, needs to remain motionless in several scenes (where nothing happens otherwise).

My dream version seems to have no ending and my dream-self is not fully integrated into the setting. The next day in real life, I discovered that the movie (much to my puzzlement) was in fact a Richard Burton movie about a defrocked minister becoming a tour guide in Mexico and thus had nothing to do with people remaining motionless while an iguana roamed around - which of course, would not make for much of a movie anyway, as the in-dream events implied that whenever someone moved, the iguana would run to them and climb their leg, the person staying still until someone else in the outside area moved. (This was my first dream of the night before crossing over into the next day.)

2 minute 20 second read.

Saturday morning, 7 October 1972. (Rewritten for clarifications on 21 June 2022.)

The Sally Struthers Autograph

Dream # 2,119-05.



Some people might incorrectly claim the foundation of this dream is a "false awakening," but it originated from semi-conscious summoning and maintaining it with partial lucidness. However, there were sparsely occurring "false awakenings" (but not in the conventional sense) later in this sleep cycle.

To clarify, I thought I had been awake a few times before morning when I was not (though this was more like false memories of brief dreams that did not occur), mistakenly confirming "Sally Struthers" was written on the page. (There was no resemblance to her real-world autograph). The outcome was that it was not her name but "sepia" written in cursive in real life. (Even if it had been her name, it would have been me who had written it.) The word was on the right-hand page, slightly above the center. As a boy, I had written that it might have been confusion with the word "sleepy." Ultimately, trying to remain alert enough throughout the night to write in my dream journal immediately after a dream was something I felt was problematic. I never had trouble recalling multiple dreams in vivid detail every morning, so it was unnecessary.

In my dream, actress Sally Struthers, dressed informally in blue jeans and an orange sweater, visits me around midnight in the darkness of my Cubitis bedroom. She stands in the southwest quadrant of my room near the head of my bed. She seems younger, probably from my associations with her teenage persona of Pebbles in the cartoon.

As she leans over me (as I do not get out of bed), she tells me about the work she will be doing to help people in poverty and her pending activism (Christian Children's Fund, which became a scandalous organization in 1994, and public service announcements). She wants to sign her name on a page of my dream journal (that, in real life, was open on the desk near the head of my bed) to prove to me that she had been here.

I was familiar with her acting in "All in the Family," the movie "Five Easy Pieces," and (as aforementioned) voicing Pebbles in "The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show."

There is unaccountable content here. Sally's appearance and persona are more like Fran Clinton in "The Getaway," but that movie did not come out until December 1972. Odder is how, according to sources, she only became the Christian Children's Fund spokeswoman in 1976.

Because the movie ("The Getaway") was already in production when I had this dream, it is demonstrably more from a co-occurrent "non-local" perception rather than "seeing the future." (That is certainly true for my continual "communication" with Zsuzsanna before we learned of each other in waking life.)

The content regarding the Christian Children's Fund and the charity work she became known for is likely from a type of perception people do not fully understand yet. I do not think it is "seeing the future." Because they approached her as such, it must have been for a discernible reason, something I impersonally perceived (for no particular reason for me). With Zsuzsanna, it is different and an unknown factor continually linking us together all our lives on many levels.

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