Recent DJ Posts

28th July 2021

Several bits around the same theme of survival.

Fragment:

I'm watching a video, or TV broadcast. It's about a survival show on a large island. They're saying "in our previous show only a few survivors could manage to scratch a living but now up to seven million tribals will be competing!", something like that. There's this image super-imposed over a panning view of a tropical island. The super-imposed image is an idle animation of some white tribals posing together, forming a sort of pyramidal composition as is often seen in group photos. I think to myself that the older existing tribes won't take kindly to such a number of newcomers.

I also think to myself that I'd rather be there myself, playing, rather than just watching TV.

(transition or recall gap, chronology got messed up in recording the dream)

I'm on a sandy and sunny beach, it's near noon judging by the sun. I later become aware that to my left there is a jungle or forest area and further left and close-by is a ruined town or city. I came out of some kind of drop pod and I see someone else who just has too. I'm not sure whether or not I should trust someone else at this point.

Then some raptors about our own size appear and they start harassing each of us. I hit them with something and try to grasp them by the neck and try to twist and break them. I possibly kill one or two and help the other person out, a woman. Then when we're in close proximity, one of the raptors is trying to steal something from me, and it succeeds. I try to catch the raptor and it behaves like a cheeky dog and I may be slightly annoyed. The woman recommends I let go and don't bother chasing the animal. I eventually let go and the raptor stops being cheeky and just ruins off into the ruined city.

(recall gap)

Still with the same woman? She needs to send an e-mail to someone and I know there aren't many places where she can do that, here. We go into a building that I was in before at some point in the dream. Inside, it's dark. Lots of dark brown colour, like rust. There are many mechanical mechanisms and there are a few desktop computers set up in a cramped corridor.

There are many things here that I know to have been set up by H in the dream. I sit at some chair or something in front of a computer. I'm trying to change the plugs around back so that she can use this old Windows 95 machine, because I still don't fully trust her and figure that this way she won't be able to release any viruses intentionally, or accidentally. For some reason I'm struggling with the plugs. The video connection coming out of the W95 machine is almost like a USB but the shape is slightly different and won't fit into the even weirder input shape on the other computer, or screen.

I eventually give up and just let her use the normal computer, feeling that I can trust her just enough anyway.

(recall gap)

Something about another building or another part of this same building. There's some small weird water gremlin bug thing... In actuality it looks a bit like a grey coloured shrimp but in the dream I think of it as crayfish. I am nervous around it because it moves erratically and I don't like its look and the look of its "whiskers".

---

Notes:

- The next day, I was using some Firewire stuff with H to set up a microphone for me to use. At the time, that made me think of the USB-like plugs in the dream, because Firewire is not too different in the physical look of the ends and its intended purpose is similar anyway.

- My nervousness around the grey creature was related both to shallow standing water in that area and also to the residual feelings of fright or jump-scare I still get from, for example, some arachnids.
-- I do not particularly like shrimp, neither in look or smell, though I can't say I recall their taste. I always thought they looked a bit too "bug"-like to eat, despite their popularity in my native region.

- I had to look up crayfish because I couldn't actually remember what they looked like; the dream creature really didn't resemble them.

15th July 2021

Fragment:

(recall going from later to earliest bit)

I'm walking with a group of people, one of them is JC from school. He's older, but otherwise looks how he used to, mostly. We're escorting a mech, a train of sorts which is depositing rails in front of itself as it goes? I've just been paid for half of my service on our current mission. I was given two glittering golden rocks (the "gold" doesn't quite look like actual gold but in the dream I don't become aware of this). One of them is not covered in this glittering gold.

The one that is completely covered in glittery gold, I hold in my right hand and crush as we walk. I see on the top right of my vision an interface element that displays that I was credited with 40 million credits. JC tells me the company actually recommends against doing this, especially without having finished the mission yet. I tell him "I don't care, my inventory is too full" and I think about how the group doesn't seem keen on waiting for me to sort this out, as evidenced by the fact that we're on the move.

(just before this)

I'm with JC wrapped in a sort of throw, it's grey and white. (I think like one I have at home in waking life) There's a very serious Covid context, though I'm not worried about it. R, also from school around the same time as JC, is not too far from us, she's some sort of inventory or cataloguing person? She's wearing a labcoat, which when I first see her makes me do a RC by counting the fingers on my right hand, though my RC fails to pass, for one thing because the count was correct and for another because I didn't question it further because of the social situation.

Me and JC are a distance away just sitting here basically. R tells us that we have to wait for this shipment of cloth or something. I think I check the order details myself, either on an interface element or some nearby physical interface. Unfortunately, we still reach the conclusion that this is the best option. I was considering trying to change the order to something else that would still be suitable but delivered quicker. Any other option is noted to have an even longer lead time on production.

R chit chats, saying she's surprised that "you two idiots are still around", as if she expected to never see us again in life. I tell her in jest "dad always says there are always idiots around; I guess that happens to be here" or something to this effect. She's amused in some way but still thinks the same of us, I don't find myself thinking about it much further one way or another. Me and JC sort of become melded with each other as we're sat here, waiting in the bundled throw. R is very strict about viral control, but I don't recall in what way. She partly looks like an Asian woman in her thirties more so than herself really (probably a dream attempt at making her appear a more chronologically correct age).

Then there's a drone of some kind. It's scanning the local area and I ask R about it, "is it a geological survey drone?" but she doesn't reply, not ignoring me, but as if I never said anything. I get up and follow the drone around for a bit, the view swaps from first to third person and back again a few times. I follow it to a site not too far, a beach of some kind and it goes into a receptacle that changes shape mechanically, as it receives the drone. Then, from the sea a train sort of surfaces from the water, it all looks very Japanese "Mecha" style. (This is where the first bit of recall started)

(there was more recall from earlier parts but they faded and other details were lost, it was a long dream)

---

Notes:

- This is the most recent time I've actually done a reality check whilst dreaming, which goes beyond just thinking about it, but because of the social context at hand I became distracted far too easily from really questioning reality. Even so, with the previous DJ entry, that's two times recently compared to not very often, if at all, in the last months.
-- I am realising now that this may be an issue with my artificial dream sign, by its nature it's more likely to include a distracting social context. I should think further on this. In addition to that, I think it's ironic on some level I decided to do a hand RC when it isn't necessarily my preferred way of checking anymore. If I could go back into this dream and change my approach, I would instead have stopped and thought about what I was doing and where I was; after all, how could I be meeting people I knew years ago but haven't seen since, for no reason at all? Not just one of them, but two of them at the same time, along with other suspicious dream qualities.

- The dream had a bit of a feel of MHW and Dark Souls there at the end.

- There was something "desaturated" about all of the dream's location. Like there was a faintly yellow mist and there was no sky to speak of exactly, just this mist. No memory of shadows really, defined or undefined.

Some in-line notes in brackets.

27th June 2021

Scraps:

Unrecorded. Something about being underwater and there's a giant ghostly crab and an equal sized ghostly shark or something. There are underwater buildings, regular city buildings, but inside they are mostly empty? After this dream, I remember thinking about how "being in water, is to fly" or something of the sort making a comparison of the two states. (I have no special interest in dream flight that doesn't use some kind of device or body part to accomplish it, though I do like swimming quite a lot.)

(This dream had a general nature of conflict or dispute and seemed to take place in an original location)

---

28th June 2021

(recall not written down on waking but later on this day)

Fragment:

At home. A courier is putting something through the letterbox. I approach and he's actually putting his hand through the letterbox now and trying to pull the triangular package back towards him through the opening. (The package was bigger than the opening but it looked stiff, not bendable)

The letterbox is lower down than it should be and the door seems to be see-through actually. As I come to open the door, first opening the foyer door I think, I find that the front door is simply not there anymore. I or the courier grab the package and I ask if he has to take it back because of it being batteries or something. ^{(possibly intrusion from looking at batteries online, the night before?)} He gives me some explanation accordingly but then decides to leave it with me after all.

Fragment:

There was more before this but no recall. Arriving at a sea-side area, possibly by car. I'm with someone, H? There's a sandy beach where I expected loads of people would be and when I see it's mostly empty, the other person tells me "see, I told you so" or something. The beach is between a six or so story tall fortification on the left, typical sea-side fort look to it, at least for the style I'm used to. On the right, the road slopes up at slow incline and there's some other building on the side of the beach.

I end up going into that building? No recall of the inside anymore. Something about two muscular women (like Klingons but not?) and I don't get along with them for some reason. I leave this building by a door on the beach level, like a back or access door. The beach isn't quite there anymore, like there's more water now. It's sunny through the entire dream segment.

(Shadow positioning suggests that the sea is West, the fort South, the second building North and the road I came from (but never looked toward) is East)

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At mom's, in my old bedroom, grandpa is laying there on the bed. Zilla and Licas are visiting. It rains outside and starts pouring water inside the room. But it is not the rain, I find a burst out pipe on the ceiling. I fix it after some struggle and lots of buckets of water. Zilla is chilling on another bed and the scenario shifts into a beach. We are now sunbathing on the beach and she goes nudist. Dares me to also go naked, to which I object. Insists on seeing my nether parts, claiming she learnt something important she wants to show me. But I say absolutely no.
Out of nowhere comes a robot with evil black eyes that starts talking to us. Zilla reacts pretty normally, but I am very surprised. Then more are coming. It is a whole family of talking robots. Silvery, shiny, big squarish heads with big black eyes and demonic mouths with sharp teeth. They have a black robotic gorilla which seems to be their mascot, but even bigger than they are. They stay on the beach for a while by our side and then get up and leave. People on the streets are scared to see then and run in all directions.
We go to a nearby restaurant with several floors and we join a party on their basement. It is dark and music is playing and the robots join us again. People no longer panic, they are just curious now. I get closer to take pics of them, but my cell phone gets lots of interference and I fail. I remember this trouble photographing objects happened to me before and it was around holograms. That's when I realize they are holograms. Someone with high tech machinery is projecting the robots with some artistic / sociological objective. I confess I am disappointed but relieved, as they looked creepy as hell.
I get separated from Zilla. While I go look for her, I find the toilet and see myself in the mirror. My hair is short, white and fluffy, with some rust-like orange color at the ends.

I and some friends are some kind of slaves. We live in a big barn and we sleep in the attic-like upper floor. Our guards control us by locking us in up there. But I often get out through the roof and manage to jump to other nearby roofs of other buildings, with access to the street. I just don't go too far, because I don't want to leave my friends behind. But I was able to come up with a plan for a few of us to escape and get some weapons and come back to free the others. Strangely enough, I know how the plan will work out, because I already lived it and recall how it went. But our oppressors seem to also know what we plan and put a dozen armed guards on the roof to stop us from escaping. I feel despair, because I can taste the freedom I knew we already had and now the whole plan is in jeopardy, as if they also knew the future and altered it. But I have another plan. There are other windows that don't give access to the roof so easily but give direct access to the ground 30 mts below and I have rappelled that height before (in RL actually), so I feel confident about it. if we are fast, 2 or 3 of us could slide down before the guards even react. They have armors and big guns and can't move fast enough from their position in the roof. We start collecting rope everyday whenever we find some. We will have to tie it with knots but we hope it works.

I am at Camp Richardson with some of the family. Right now we are in some trailer that we are touring or in which we are planning a tour. There is something about it being a small space and people not wearing masks. I think David from Discology is here. Now we are down at the beach. The beach is a deep and wide expanse of only sand that doesn’t seem to be crowded by other people. The water is calm and devoid of boats, etc. I am a ways out and jumping off a tall (20 ft?) wooden structure. There’s something about the Grateful Dead - maybe they’re playing in the background? I jump in and immediately hit the bottom, hard, but it doesn’t really hurt, which surprises me because I thought it was much deeper. Back on the beach, Michelle is here and brings me a Starbucks? coffee, which I think is very sweet of her.

5th September 2020

Dream:

One of several long ones. At a version of the clinic I'm registered with. I see a receptionist in a narrow hall and ask about whether they are still doing appointments. She said that appointments have to be booked nine days in advance, at least.

Then I proceed to the waiting room anyway. It's different from how it should be and a whole lot bigger. The room is packed, reminds me of an airport. It's well lit with natural light.

I try to find somewhere to wait and become aware that I'm wearing a dust cover mask. it feels like it keeps slipping down and uncovering my nose, which bothers me. Only a few other people are wearing masks of any kind at all. The vast majority is not, I don't feel that this is right but I feel there's nothing to be done about it and carry on. Eventually I find a little corner around a pillar. I think of sitting down at a chair but I remember thinking I don't want to be as close as everyone else is to each other. So I just lean back against the pillar.

At some point I realise I'm wearing one of my black t-shirts and the trousers I have typically been wearing lately. My mask slips off again, and I adjust it again. This time I try to make the upper strap stay in place better. I simple consider this recurring thing to be the fault of my choice of wearing a second version I found of the mask at home. (This would have been a good RC moment)

I see people come and go, in and out of appointments and the hall. I have thoughts about whether I'll be able to hear my name called from here.

Then as I'm waiting, around the corner I spot two black guys are having an argument with each other, they are at opposite ends of the area. Something about a game, but not? One of them is more calm than the other but is also upset. He's chunkier and nerdier in some sense. He has a cap, dark navy colour. His skin is about as dark as the cap, reminds me of Franklin from GTA5 but darker. The angrier guy is taller and is much closer to where I am, he is well built and again partly reminds me of Lamar, but no cap?

I forget their words to each other. I become curious if the angrier guy is going to get physical or not in his anger, he does a little, gesticulating violently but seemingly out of frustration, then letting go of the subject and simply walking away. Then when he's left a large number of people follow behind him.

For some reason, I eventually leave too. I'm outside, it's an unknown street. I remember a sandstone bridge over the road, it's daytime. Eventually a very full bus goes past, after I'd already crossed the road.

There's a white girl, with curly hair (what colour?). She's on the other side of the road, I feel I know her somehow in the dream. I forget exactly what happens next but then I'm going around on the back of a bike or something. Streets remind me of native country.

Eventually I/we arrive somewhere. It's a house along a row of impressive houses with a typical local look with sandstone features. There's an open courtyard. Reminds me of Hei's place. Then I'm on foot and it seems to be on a hill/cliff, overlooking a semi-populated area. That girl from before is now sitting on a bench here, naked? She gets up and walks toward a ledge wall and I walk up close. Then, looking down from over the low-ish wall, I see a baby cat trying to climb a tree from lower down to get to us.

Fragment:

At a beach place, overcast day. There's a big bridge over this bit, really high up. Some rocks at the base of one of the support pillars. It's like a highway overpass? There's writing in Arabic and maybe Hebrew, but also a third language which glyphs I don't recognise or recall.

---

Notes:

- I remember the dispute between the two guys was interesting to watch. Looking back at it now, it seems like it was some kind of metaphor for internal debate and the fact that many of the other vague dream characters left with the angry guy kind of reinforces this idea for me.
- The mask slipping off on its own is something that I found was happening with some face coverings I tried to wear because of the virus situation. It doesn't happen at all with dust cover masks but this seemed to have slipped by me in the dream.
- The second fragment may have been because we recently re-watched Prince of Egypt, a film I didn't remember very well at all anymore.

I am walking in Mom’s neighborhood when I notice an old lady staring at me from behind the wooden fence around her yard. She’s wearing sunglasses, some kind of hat, and I think a mask. Despite all this obscuration, I can tell that she’s older (maybe also because I think she’s wearing a sweat suit). As I walk, I look back, turn, and flip her off with both middle fingers. I don’t think I expected a reaction, but I can tell it’s really set her off. I think she wants to come out and fight me. I can see her starting to go through the house to come out here. I think about taking a right at this street, but think I’ll be highly visible. I hear her shouting in the house for someone to come get me and/or call the cops. Instead, I turn around and head through some marshy area with a walking path through it. I run across a white bridge that is a contrast to the dim water and marshy greenery. This seems to happen in slow motion, and I have time to notice how beautiful this scene is. I think that I should remember it so it might have an effect on my dreams or something similar. I think there’s one more bridge but also that I’ll have to walk through the water at some point. I think I’m wearing slippers? Earlier I also noticed how I was wearing fairly bright colored clothes. I think the police may be close.




I’m with Melissa on what seems to be a small porch? It’s really more of a small, flat protrusion from the side of a house, with mesh sidings and top. It’s just big enough for us two and I think the bottom of it is some kind of padding. All of it is black. We seem to be fairly high up and overlooking a long beach. I think we’re both naked. My head is close to between her legs, and I start going down on her. She crawls on top of me and I continue.

I’m on a walk. I get to the edge of a driveway, where a Black man has met and is talking to a white, male police officer. I get the impression he has come down here so the officer won’t go on his property. Now, another Black man comes out and does the same thing. The officer leaves amicably and then the first man turns to me and starts handing me some cash, a few crisp bills. He has short hair and seems very genuine. I think it’s a few 20s and I don’t even know what it’s for, so I say no, I can’t take it. The second man, with shoulder length dreads and baggier clothes, tries doing the same, and I think I give in. I think at the beginning of this, I put on headphones to listen to a Tedeschi Trucks Band show (the song was ‘Laugh About It’ into a drum segment). The weather was cooler - I had pants and a long sleeve. I was walking on the right side of the roads [sic] as two girls were coming towards me. I noticed a car coming from behind them and from behind me as I had to go around them to the left, thinking it would leave very little room for the cars.




I’m walking into a store with Sage. I think it’s a reptile or animal store. On the left, I notice three tanks on stands that’ve been covered with a black film or cover. Two older ladies working here say hi and then I think profile or customer service me. This irritates me as we walk into a larger back room, Sage way ahead of me.




I’m on a walk and have ended up on what looks like a sandy hillside that overlooks a beach and the ocean? It is sunset and the thick and vivid layers of deep reds and oranges are absolutely beautiful. There is some kind of electronic trance music playing and it makes for a very ethereal moment. I’m now down on the beach and there are a bunch of people dancing to the music. The sunset is the background, but there are also strobe lights. I think I start dancing.





Granny has died, but I feel comforted knowing that she had the opportunity to say bye to everyone and also that she came to me in a dream (*this seemed very real, and I was recalling pretty much exactly our visit with her yesterday).

I am in a bookstore (that looks pretty similar to Grassroots). I notice Susan Tedeschi in an area by a large window. She has a small group of people around her and is singing to them. Everyone is moving along to the music and having a good time, but I notice that a lot of the, Susan included, are frequently yawning (I also notice Seth from work). I know this isn’t because they’re bored, but because it’s late. Now, I think I am looking around and notice about six DVDs on an end cap. I grab one of the bottom ones; it is a House of Leaves movie that I’m not sure I knew existed. I think the front has a picture of a house, small and simple. The back has a picture of the house, I think from the other side, further away. In the foreground is a ‘woman’., I think back against a fence. Her head is definitely that of a human, but her body looks to be the body of a spider. It is proportionate, which is unsettling, I guess because it is something that should not be that exists so doubtlessly. I get the sense that the one half of her body is mirrored from the other. She is blond and though her face currently seems to be screaming or twisted in anguish, it is attractive. The whole image is tinted red and is subtly but acutely disturbing. There is a small group around me and one asks me to describe the plot of House of Leaves. I hesitate, not really wanting to, then give in. I say it is about a family that moves into a house, where everything goes fine until one day they discover a door that didn’t exist before. I seem to not remember much of the plot and leave it at this. My speech is slow and descriptive and more confident than I thought it’d be.




I’m outside somewhere (a beach?) with some people from work. Someone has asked me and Seth?to move some TV screens off of a table. This plastic folding table is very close to the water. We procrastinate until I see Rosy walking some people over here. I think they’re why they needed to be moved, so we do it really quick. I’m now sitting across from Lauren at a picnic style table. I’m cognizant of how we’re not ‘6 feet’ away. The background is of tall pine trees and a twilight? sky. An owl flies around; I lay down, extend my leg straight up, and try to get it to land on the bottom of my foot.

I am walking through what looks like Dad’s neighborhood (maybe on one of the higher streets, like Virginia Foothills). I run into Kat and she ends up walking with me. It is near sunset and some of the lower and plumper clouds are getting some color. The rest are smaller and almost evenly spaced, bright white against the blue. I look directly up and notice a glowing sliver of the moon. It’s all very pretty. Kat mentions the sky too, saying she’s grateful for Emma for getting her to pay more attention to it, and that she wants to see it more often. I take some pictures of it as we walk. We end up at her house. I think the garage door is open, and I can tell by the way she’s talking that she has intentions to leave now. Before she does, I somewhat bluntly mention how I want to stop drinking. This seems to pique her interest, and she talks to me about it. I tell her I feel like quitting altogether but am not sure if I should stick with moderation. She pulls a little red champagne flute from somewhere and hands it to me, saying I could use it for moderation. I look at it and its almost grimy looking opaque sides, imagining how it might hold a small serving. I kind of like the idea and think I might take it, but then change my mind. I say that I want it to be a mindset thing and not something like this. Now, Chelsea has shown up, I think in a car. She stands behind us and when she sees me she recognizes me but thinks I’m someone else. I tell her no and think it slightly odd that she wouldn’t remember me. I am now walking back, now either on a dirt road or a road surrounded by dirt and small hills. There’s a small stream of water running down this slope, through the soil and grasses. I follow it and see where it meets another stream on an opposing slope, turning to one and running downwards. I look out to my left and notice a hill where water appears to be coming from. There’s a tiny canyon carved into the soft looking dark brown soil, and I imagine walking through it. I am walking right by where the streams meet, doing okay with stepping on the sturdier patches of soil and grasses. Most of it is still soft and it’s hard to tell what will give, so I end up getting both of my shoes wet and muddy. I end up back home, rinsing and scrubbing them. I put them out to dry even though it’s pretty overcast.




I’ve gotten an email from the new girl at work (it’s not actually the girl who is supposed to start. I think I see a profile picture on the email or something and it’s an unfamiliar heavyset white girl). She’s asking about me not being there for a shift, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t been scheduled. I think I’ve been using time off. She sounds more like a manager than a coworker and kind of annoying. After the text there are a few pictures of a hotel room - I think it must be a work thing. The hotel seems nice and also very familiar. I think I must have stayed there before. I think it looks more impressive than it actually is. A picture of the shower shows the floor of small, dark pebbles and the opposing stainless steel shower heads. Now, I am in the hotel. It looks like someone had just been here but tidied a bit before leaving, so I guess I just missed her. There’s a full looking black garbage bag in the abnormally large space adjacent to the toilet. The toilet itself actually has a garbage bag around it, somehow from the ground up. I adjust the opening of the bag so as to be able to use the toilet.




I am somewhere with the family. We’re in a plain, rectangular building that is for something like customs or passports or photos (something that we have to do together as a family). I notice quite a few other families here too, I think seated at tables. Whatever we’re doing here, the personale is being very aggressive with us. They are making us do tasks or challenges that seemed to be designed to result only in failure. A younger guy, I think in a uniform, tries to handcuff me but only gets one finger. He notices, his facial expression betraying his embarrassment, and tries again. The same happens, though he doesn’t notice this time. He tells me to now “clap above your head and find some shade.” I think he also holds me down to ensure failure. Still, I succeed in clapping above my head, slightly satisfied with defying his expectation of failure. I’m not sure about the shade part though. These things go on for a while longer. When we are done, I’m thinking about how I’m going to write to someone about how atrociously we were treated.




From a third person perspective I am seeing a high rise building (a hotel) that stands alone on a sprawling fine sand beach. The building seems somewhat modern and is mostly a tower but with some structural embellishments at the base. It is also way too near the water and, in fact, there is currently water submerging the first few floors. I think there’s something about the occupants just staying inside when it floods, though that seems counter intuitive. Someone is interviewing a lone, blond man maybe in his late 20s. He seems foreign, probably European, though he is speaking more articulately than most native speakers. I think he’s talking about the structural design and why it is flooding.

Morning of January 31, 2020. Friday.

Dream #: 19,401-02. Reading time: 1 min 35 sec.



My dream self’s focus is on electrical wiring, which is typically co-occurrent with an increase in mental activity (neuronal energy) while sleeping (and sometimes, as here, eventually renders fire). (It is a common sleep-wake mediation process for me, but the rendering and narrative are always different, though in one dream it was more obvious than usual when I “removed my head,” which was a football helmet, and examined and moved the wiring inside it.)

The setting is unknown (though my dream implies it is our present home). Zsuzsanna is nearby (to my left, modeling our sleeping position). At about neck level, a cluster of gold wiring is hanging from an open part of the wall (so it is a type of wall mediation, that is, navigating emerging liminality, as well as associations with increasing mental activity). Although the wires are loose, I consider that the current is stable as long as they do not get moved either accidentally or with intent.

Zsuzsanna’s brother Simon approaches and comments on the wiring. I move the cluster slightly and consider the loose wiring (and certain wires touching each other) might cause a short.

As a result of moving the wires, my dream’s dynamics and narrative changes, with my liminal intent to continue sleeping. The incidental preconscious personification as Simon, who remains passive, also correlates with my sleep-wake mediation. (The preconscious simulacrum only dominates when waking is more of a priority, kind of a no-brainer.)

My dream changes into typical indoor-outdoor liminal ambiguity. The outcome of this wall mediation results in its virtual division expanding and becoming a beach that defines open liminal space yet is still impossibly implied to be inside our house. (However, potential water reinduction is not clearly defined, as the ocean seems distant.) I now see a very long electrical cord that seems to go all the way to the shore (while the beach sand it is in is still a part of the floor of our house), and minimal fire consumes part of its length as I walk along, mentally extinguishing it to sustain my dream. (Fire also sometimes correlates with the increase in body temperature when closer to waking.) There is no more fire, and I sleep for about another hour.

---

Several of my recent dreams have had atypical variations of intentional water reinduction, all with unique results, for example, “Digging Up a Pool” from January 28.

---

I am in a fairly large used bookstore. The shelves are dark wood, tall, and full. The aisles are large and grid-like, but the place seems dim. It has a cluttered but homey atmosphere. I’m looking through the large ‘H’ section for Aldous Huxley. There is a couple looking at this section too; I politely step around them, but I think they are right in front of where I need to be. I think they move and I find a couple of Huxley books. I am now looking at a narrow shelf at the end of one of the aisle shelves. There are two cassettes? and their covers are two different pictures of Makayla and some guy on the beach. They are both in swimsuits and standing next to each other, arms around one another. It looks like Hawaii. I find it slightly odd that these are here and wonder why they are. There is also a haphazard stack of small, square, used notebooks. I flip through one, intrigued by going through someone else’s writing. I notice a date - 2000 or 2001. At the end, there is a picture of a hand holding a pen or pencil.




(I think this may be a part of the last dream, but it also may not be). I have arrived in Hawaii. I think it is the big island and I think I may be meeting up with Jim and Rhianna. I’m walking through some foliage, toward the beach. The plants thin and give way to an expanse of sand that slowly slopes to the ocean. The sun is shining languorously on the interspersed people enjoying this space, and the whole scene is peaceful and beautiful. Now, I am on a plane back. It is very dark out, but I notice buildings that are dangerously close… until I realize that this plane is graceful landing on a wide freeway, on which I think there are still cars. It looks like the bay area.

I am at the lake (Tahoe, I’m pretty sure) with some family, I think Granny and Mom and maybe Makayla. We are at a beach that is not sandy, but more rocks and pine needles. There is also a fair amount of trees coming down all the way to the waterline. I have some clothes that I think have just been washed, because they are still damp. I am looking for a clothesline or even a string, but I don’t find anything. Now I’m at work with either Melissa or Laynie, still looking for a clothesline. We can’t find one anywhere, until we ask Carolina. She takes us to a stockroom, it being the only place she can think of that would have one. Sure enough, we look to the right and I see some green lines hanging from a hook near the ceiling. I tug on one, not sure how to get it down. I flick it a bit, and it comes off the hook. They look somewhat surprised, and I joke about not knowing how I just did that. Though the line had reached near the top of the high ceiling, it is barely even a foot long as I am holding it up I’m just slightly disappointed. I guess I’ve settled though, as I’m back on the beach. I’m walking back to our spot and noticing towels and clothes simply draped over the lower tree branches. I think it occurs to me that I could’ve just done this, but I seem pretty set on the clothesline.

I am at work (though it doesn’t really look like it - it does look like a retail store, but not necessarily JCPenney). It feels like I am upstairs, and I am with two unfamiliar others, one guy and one girl. We are sitting and playing a board game. The board is larger and sitting atop something. I think there are a few pieces, one being a longer, black piece of food (like a brownie?) Apparently when it is your turn you tell another player what to do and they are supposed to do it. I say this because the guy has told me to go count all the hangers in the store, and I am going to do it. I think it’s going to be hard to impossible but that’s just how the game works. I start on it, in what looks like the hallway to our employee entrance. I am counting and thinking of a strategy to not miss any when I see Mairin putting out some new clothes. They are men’s long sleeve button ups, in blues with subtle patterns, and I kind of like them. She is telling me and one other something as she fills an empty rack with a handful of the shirts. Now, a black man comes in and asks a simple question. I answer it, and he is super excited and impressed with me. On his way out, he gives me a pretty long hug. I had went for a handshake, but adjusted to a hug. He tells me thanks again, etc. I call him brother, and then hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way - it seems like he doesn’t. He asks if I like some orange beer? I’m not sure at first but then he specifies and I realize what he’s talking about and say “oh yeah.” He leaves and comes back in with a bottle of one and a glass. He gives them both to me, and I notice the glass has a little bit of what looks like peanut butter inside of it. I think that it’s gross and it’s probably just been sitting in his car or something, but that it’s a very kind gesture.




I am in some kind of cabin. There is a counter to order food and large paper menus hanging above it. I have to get kind of close to the counter to read the menu, and the younger looking employees are all looking to me as if I’m ready to order. To signal that I’m not quite ready, I start looking at the bookshelf below the counter. I notice a few stacks of books, one stack being maroon and antiquated looking books. I notice that every other ‘book’ isn’t really shaped like a book, but more like a box for a nice pen or something that shape. It looks like they’re in a series or all go together. I notice a girl off to the left poke a note out from behind something sort of secretly. I assume the note will be something about me ordering food. I go over and she hands me a different note, a full size paper. I glance at it, having no idea what it could be about. I think it could be about me or that it could be some kind of petition. I just fold it and hold onto it to look at it later.




I am at a small (rock?) beach at what looks like a large, clear pond. Emmy’s mom? sits next to me, and I notice Emmy swimming. I want to show her a picture of Makayla because they look so similar. As I talk to her, I am forgetting Emmy’s name, but remember it right before I have to use it.

I am at work when Charmi comes to visit. It almost looks more like a house. Scott is here and begrudgingly gets up to get the door for her. He opens it and immediately turns away from her. He talks to her detachedly but doesn’t really look at her. He is sitting and, for whatever reason, I notice his mustache moving slightly as he speaks. Now I think it is just Charmi and me. She asks if it’s been pretty slow, slightly derogatorily. Just as I say ‘yes’, I notice a group of two girls and one guy about my age what definitely look like they’re trying to steal. They all look clean cut and put together, but I notice the one girl carrying a stack of Levis and wearing a pretty full looking bag. The other girl is carrying a small armful of merchandise as well. They are just past what seems to be an opening in the floor for an escalator. I think they notice me eyeing and walking towards them. I walk up to them and don’t even need to say anything before they start tossing the merchandise down onto shelves and displays and walking out. I sort of wander around now and just so happen to walk up on the guy coming back in, on the phone. He notices me, but continues walking and walking with only a slight hesitation. I hear him casually say that he’s just gotten pinched/fucked? (or neither of those, but something similar?) I wonder if he is really trying to come back for something.




I am with Melissa in what seems to be the ocean, right about where the waves are breaking. We are waiting for them to come in and are riding them for a ways before going back out to catch another. It is simple yet fun. A few big ones start coming in and I fear that they’ll break on us, but they do not. The beach is a slightly sloped expanse of golden sand, upon which I notice only our towels and stuff set up. Everything seems to be lit, though the sky seems to be dark.