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Morning of January 31, 2020. Friday.

Dream #: 19,401-02. Reading time: 1 min 35 sec.



My dream self’s focus is on electrical wiring, which is typically co-occurrent with an increase in mental activity (neuronal energy) while sleeping (and sometimes, as here, eventually renders fire). (It is a common sleep-wake mediation process for me, but the rendering and narrative are always different, though in one dream it was more obvious than usual when I “removed my head,” which was a football helmet, and examined and moved the wiring inside it.)

The setting is unknown (though my dream implies it is our present home). Zsuzsanna is nearby (to my left, modeling our sleeping position). At about neck level, a cluster of gold wiring is hanging from an open part of the wall (so it is a type of wall mediation, that is, navigating emerging liminality, as well as associations with increasing mental activity). Although the wires are loose, I consider that the current is stable as long as they do not get moved either accidentally or with intent.

Zsuzsanna’s brother Simon approaches and comments on the wiring. I move the cluster slightly and consider the loose wiring (and certain wires touching each other) might cause a short.

As a result of moving the wires, my dream’s dynamics and narrative changes, with my liminal intent to continue sleeping. The incidental preconscious personification as Simon, who remains passive, also correlates with my sleep-wake mediation. (The preconscious simulacrum only dominates when waking is more of a priority, kind of a no-brainer.)

My dream changes into typical indoor-outdoor liminal ambiguity. The outcome of this wall mediation results in its virtual division expanding and becoming a beach that defines open liminal space yet is still impossibly implied to be inside our house. (However, potential water reinduction is not clearly defined, as the ocean seems distant.) I now see a very long electrical cord that seems to go all the way to the shore (while the beach sand it is in is still a part of the floor of our house), and minimal fire consumes part of its length as I walk along, mentally extinguishing it to sustain my dream. (Fire also sometimes correlates with the increase in body temperature when closer to waking.) There is no more fire, and I sleep for about another hour.

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Several of my recent dreams have had atypical variations of intentional water reinduction, all with unique results, for example, “Digging Up a Pool” from January 28.

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I am in a fairly large used bookstore. The shelves are dark wood, tall, and full. The aisles are large and grid-like, but the place seems dim. It has a cluttered but homey atmosphere. I’m looking through the large ‘H’ section for Aldous Huxley. There is a couple looking at this section too; I politely step around them, but I think they are right in front of where I need to be. I think they move and I find a couple of Huxley books. I am now looking at a narrow shelf at the end of one of the aisle shelves. There are two cassettes? and their covers are two different pictures of Makayla and some guy on the beach. They are both in swimsuits and standing next to each other, arms around one another. It looks like Hawaii. I find it slightly odd that these are here and wonder why they are. There is also a haphazard stack of small, square, used notebooks. I flip through one, intrigued by going through someone else’s writing. I notice a date - 2000 or 2001. At the end, there is a picture of a hand holding a pen or pencil.




(I think this may be a part of the last dream, but it also may not be). I have arrived in Hawaii. I think it is the big island and I think I may be meeting up with Jim and Rhianna. I’m walking through some foliage, toward the beach. The plants thin and give way to an expanse of sand that slowly slopes to the ocean. The sun is shining languorously on the interspersed people enjoying this space, and the whole scene is peaceful and beautiful. Now, I am on a plane back. It is very dark out, but I notice buildings that are dangerously close… until I realize that this plane is graceful landing on a wide freeway, on which I think there are still cars. It looks like the bay area.

I am at the lake (Tahoe, I’m pretty sure) with some family, I think Granny and Mom and maybe Makayla. We are at a beach that is not sandy, but more rocks and pine needles. There is also a fair amount of trees coming down all the way to the waterline. I have some clothes that I think have just been washed, because they are still damp. I am looking for a clothesline or even a string, but I don’t find anything. Now I’m at work with either Melissa or Laynie, still looking for a clothesline. We can’t find one anywhere, until we ask Carolina. She takes us to a stockroom, it being the only place she can think of that would have one. Sure enough, we look to the right and I see some green lines hanging from a hook near the ceiling. I tug on one, not sure how to get it down. I flick it a bit, and it comes off the hook. They look somewhat surprised, and I joke about not knowing how I just did that. Though the line had reached near the top of the high ceiling, it is barely even a foot long as I am holding it up I’m just slightly disappointed. I guess I’ve settled though, as I’m back on the beach. I’m walking back to our spot and noticing towels and clothes simply draped over the lower tree branches. I think it occurs to me that I could’ve just done this, but I seem pretty set on the clothesline.

I am at work (though it doesn’t really look like it - it does look like a retail store, but not necessarily JCPenney). It feels like I am upstairs, and I am with two unfamiliar others, one guy and one girl. We are sitting and playing a board game. The board is larger and sitting atop something. I think there are a few pieces, one being a longer, black piece of food (like a brownie?) Apparently when it is your turn you tell another player what to do and they are supposed to do it. I say this because the guy has told me to go count all the hangers in the store, and I am going to do it. I think it’s going to be hard to impossible but that’s just how the game works. I start on it, in what looks like the hallway to our employee entrance. I am counting and thinking of a strategy to not miss any when I see Mairin putting out some new clothes. They are men’s long sleeve button ups, in blues with subtle patterns, and I kind of like them. She is telling me and one other something as she fills an empty rack with a handful of the shirts. Now, a black man comes in and asks a simple question. I answer it, and he is super excited and impressed with me. On his way out, he gives me a pretty long hug. I had went for a handshake, but adjusted to a hug. He tells me thanks again, etc. I call him brother, and then hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way - it seems like he doesn’t. He asks if I like some orange beer? I’m not sure at first but then he specifies and I realize what he’s talking about and say “oh yeah.” He leaves and comes back in with a bottle of one and a glass. He gives them both to me, and I notice the glass has a little bit of what looks like peanut butter inside of it. I think that it’s gross and it’s probably just been sitting in his car or something, but that it’s a very kind gesture.




I am in some kind of cabin. There is a counter to order food and large paper menus hanging above it. I have to get kind of close to the counter to read the menu, and the younger looking employees are all looking to me as if I’m ready to order. To signal that I’m not quite ready, I start looking at the bookshelf below the counter. I notice a few stacks of books, one stack being maroon and antiquated looking books. I notice that every other ‘book’ isn’t really shaped like a book, but more like a box for a nice pen or something that shape. It looks like they’re in a series or all go together. I notice a girl off to the left poke a note out from behind something sort of secretly. I assume the note will be something about me ordering food. I go over and she hands me a different note, a full size paper. I glance at it, having no idea what it could be about. I think it could be about me or that it could be some kind of petition. I just fold it and hold onto it to look at it later.




I am at a small (rock?) beach at what looks like a large, clear pond. Emmy’s mom? sits next to me, and I notice Emmy swimming. I want to show her a picture of Makayla because they look so similar. As I talk to her, I am forgetting Emmy’s name, but remember it right before I have to use it.

I am at work when Charmi comes to visit. It almost looks more like a house. Scott is here and begrudgingly gets up to get the door for her. He opens it and immediately turns away from her. He talks to her detachedly but doesn’t really look at her. He is sitting and, for whatever reason, I notice his mustache moving slightly as he speaks. Now I think it is just Charmi and me. She asks if it’s been pretty slow, slightly derogatorily. Just as I say ‘yes’, I notice a group of two girls and one guy about my age what definitely look like they’re trying to steal. They all look clean cut and put together, but I notice the one girl carrying a stack of Levis and wearing a pretty full looking bag. The other girl is carrying a small armful of merchandise as well. They are just past what seems to be an opening in the floor for an escalator. I think they notice me eyeing and walking towards them. I walk up to them and don’t even need to say anything before they start tossing the merchandise down onto shelves and displays and walking out. I sort of wander around now and just so happen to walk up on the guy coming back in, on the phone. He notices me, but continues walking and walking with only a slight hesitation. I hear him casually say that he’s just gotten pinched/fucked? (or neither of those, but something similar?) I wonder if he is really trying to come back for something.




I am with Melissa in what seems to be the ocean, right about where the waves are breaking. We are waiting for them to come in and are riding them for a ways before going back out to catch another. It is simple yet fun. A few big ones start coming in and I fear that they’ll break on us, but they do not. The beach is a slightly sloped expanse of golden sand, upon which I notice only our towels and stuff set up. Everything seems to be lit, though the sky seems to be dark.

I am in some room, maybe a kitchen, in a house or building that seems to be by a beach, probably on the ocean. The place is dim and seems to be empty, except for Dad, who is here celebrating his birthday. There is no one here, so I assume it is just too early for them to be showing up. He shows me a little machine on the counter top that has a few tap handles. There is what looks like a thin, green hose. On it is a circular piece with an indentation (like one for a screwdriver), which corresponds to a piece on the machine. Once inserted, it can be turned and creates a sound like it is adding carbonation or something similar. It also allows the beer to come out. I look at the options and choose a witbier. I pour it into my Artown cup at a 45 degree angle. It seems to pour quickly, but doesn’t produce much head. I take a sip and it is pretty tasty. I look at the other options, two being home brew?, one IPA, and a Revision IPA with a pretty cool graphic (space?). I think the others are more eclectic, constituting a pretty decent selection for so few handles. I think I am going to go sit outside.




I am seeing a video of Dad at some circular bar counter that looks to be encircling a pool. The whole thing is not very big, but it looks pretty cool. I think we’re supposed to be on a family trip and he’s already there without us. I then see a filter or location on the video that says he’s only at an airport (in Vegas?). Now I am where I think we are going, I think with Makayla. The place is a fairly large and high ceilinged room with a large, rectangle pool in the center. Along the walls around it are what look like doors to hotel rooms. We start looking for one that’s open. You can’t really tell what’s locked or not by looking at it, and I feel weird trying all the door knobs. It seems like most are locked. I get towards the end of the row and hear movement behind one of the doors. The very last door then opens, and coming out of it is a boy probably in his late teens, with long and center parted dirty blond hair, wearing only what looks like boxers or small swim trunks. I assume he is about to swim. I consider asking him to see the inside of the room, but think it’d be a little too intrusive.




I am with Sage and her old friend Sierra Fiester in some large room with a bouldering wall. The bouldering wall is not too long, but it is pretty tall and slightly overhanging. I am attempting a problem and its big move. There is a thin crash pad on the ground that I have them move, since it is not where I’d need it if I were to fall. I ready myself for the big move out right, but never commit, afraid to fall. I end up just using different holds to climb to the top, a little disappointed in myself. I still try to make it harder, with big moves and small holds, including small crimps. I use a large half-moon shaped hold (the one from Rocksport and Basecamp), I think getting a hand or two and a heel on it at one point. I am making loud vocalizations of effort at each move.

The idea is that I went to Derry, Delaware in a specific movie theater to see the new IT movie. B is there. I'm somehow in the movie at some point and Pennywise is going to make his grand entrance, it's very intense as he sort of poofs out of thin air in a cloud of orange and red gas in front of this cave that I'm looking at but I'm not scared, if anything I'm excited.

B and I are arguing at some point in a house and we walk out into the snow, I turn towards her and we immediately kiss as we're making up, kind of like a 'why were we fighting in the first place' situation.

New dream scene I'm in this base on the water looking out onto the ocean with an island on the other side. There are walkways in between the base and island. People are targeting me but it turns into some sort of race. I jump belly first onto this thing that propels me forward as I'm racing other people in this line. My machine takes a dip underwater and then starts to zoom upwards towards the beach, and then my alarm clock woke me up.

I am in some kind of bathroom or shower room. There are two larger stalls, I think with a toilet and shower head (just on the wall, a drain for the runoff) in each, that are laid out as inverses of each other. There is some girl in the other one. I think that we have been assigned to these at the same time based on us being opposite gender or something to do with our siblings? I am sitting on the toilet in here and can see her showering through the gaps in the stall walls. Her back is facing me, but the side of a breast could still be revealed in a slight turn of her body. I’m more worried about her seeing me though, as I think there’s a mirror in which she could do so. I move my body a bit to where I can no longer see her. Now, I think this girl is gone and Melissa is here in the stall with me. For a moment we were at a double sink counter, me at the left. It felt like we were on a trip and it felt weird to have the left side. I think we’re now holding each other in the shower water and talking. We touch each other.




I am with Dad and Makayla on a sprawling beach of bright ochre sand. I get the notion to run and jump into the water and tell them I’m going to do so. I run, but when I get to the water I am met with a powerful current that renders me incapable of getting any farther. I keep trying but cannot surmount the bombardment of the unceasing tail end of these ocean waves. They are quite long, and I notice how hard they churn the water.

For a moment I'm in WoW, I'm thinking of a female night elf hunter running in a jungle.

The dream is near the fan in Richmond, traveling in between streets. I see a dog and think it's cute.

I'm back at my old apartment from JMU in squire, I keep having this feeling like I need to go soon to catch a flight back home. The apartment was near a beach, I saw people swimming in massive round waves.

The scene is at the beach. We're on vacation. Bahar is there, I'm trying to be closer to her but it doesn't seem to work out.

I'm at a festival. A few guys from my high school are there and we interact for a moment. Moo is there with me. We seem to be watching a trailer for the festival as it's happening in real time. There's a stage with a huge crowd listening to a dj but only certain people are jumping and dancing. I think it's really fake. I see there's groups of people going through a line where they have to do certain things like dance and jump through hoops or something. I'm inside a building drawing something on a piece of paper. At first it looks really shitty and then it comes out to be really well-drawn. It's a gray balloon.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Wake up in a hostel shared room with half a dozen Asian girls, I think Korean. I have no idea how I got there, and I can't communicate with them. I go outside the room, it is a humble hostel in what looks like a middle eastern country. There is a corridor to the street, I pass the reception and get out. The street curves and goes down, like a ramp and then ends up in some vertical wall with a vertical ladder which is the only way to get down to what looks like a lake or the ocean shore. Anyway, there is a beach down there and I see something that makes me really wanna go, like some animal in distress or someone I know (can't remember). But halfway the metal ladder breaks or the cliff crumbles and I struggle to hold on and go back up. I decide to go back to my room at the hostel and try to ask the girls if they know me, but they no longer are there.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


Visiting a tv studio, a lady friend shows me old cameras and other old equipment, shows me a wardrobe she made, very basic stuff, she explains why they don't use normal clothes.

I am coughing blood.

At the beach, some kids from somewhere go trough an area of the ocean shore that is full of rocks and get trapped and are drowning. A media circus installs. I wanna go away,

I am with my friend Zilla in the 40s, we are taking the last cruise ship leaving London just before the war hits. People are very emotional saying bye to us and vice versa.

I am outside, at what seems to be a beach, with Melissa, Brooke, and possibly Breezy. It is dark out, and there seems to be some sort of smaller event going on. There are some tables and bar counters, etc. I break off from them to go buy some shots, unannounced. I’m not really sure what to go; after talking to the bartender, I end up with two shots of ‘something fruity’. I can smell it, and it is fruity. I take them back to give to Melissa, but Brooke grabs them and takes them both at the same time. I’m now in a different area. There’s a nicely dressed guy here buying a bottle of something. I’m worried about money, but then remind myself to live a little. A bottle of fine German Riesling for only $126, he remarks, as if that’s a steal. I agree, but then start to think I’ve seen that for less.

I am outside somewhere - the slight incline, soil composition, array of granite stones, and surrounding pines suggest Lake Tahoe. I follow a trail down a moderately steep hill. It is not long at all before I reach the bottom and the sandy beach. The best beach spots are some yards away to my left and right. They both are filled with people. I’m looking for a space to pee, but this seems too close to the people, so I start back up. I’m now inside, walking up an enclosed stairway. It is carpeted in a maroon or similar color. I think the walls are wooden, making the place seem older. I still need to use a bathroom and, as I’m coming up another flight, I see one built into the wall right off the staircase. I step in and it’s very small, with just enough room for a toilet and sink. I think I use it and then continue on my way. The stairs end at the entrance to a fairly large room. The room is dim and home to a large, square, wooden dining table that takes up a fair amount of it’s space. Melissa’s family is seated around it, seemingly most of the way through a meal, as I join them. Melissa is across the table from me, but her mom is at the corner right next to me. I notice a few assorted, empty/near empty wine bottles. I also notice everyone, including myself, has a glass with about ¾ of an inch of red wine in it. I wonder why they’re all filled similarly.

I am on what seems to be a beach. It is long and open, with soft and very white sand. Melissa is lying on a towel, while I’m a little ways away. I think she has my phone and is doing something on it; I run over to her to talk to her/look at whatever she’s doing.