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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some house, staying with dharma brothers and sisters and my teacher is there too. Can't recall details, but we've been teasing each other, while we sit at opposite couches with different posses. The house starts shaking and chaos ensues, with people jumping over the couches, not knowing where to run to. Some say it is and earthquake, others say it isn't. I go to the nearest window and I see a pit forming around the house and it is full of liquid chocolate on which the house starts to sink. I warn everybody and jump over the pit to safer ground. Then offer help to others. But some don jump and instead pass me trays of chocolate cookies and cakes through the window.
Then I am alone with a big guy that I was nice to and he is getting too close for comfort. He looks like a big viking with orange beard, but I have to push him away. He gets mad and demands to know why I don't love him back. I say I could love him if I actually knew him and if he changed his behavior. I buy some time until there are others around, who also escaped the sinking house. They come with paintings, namely portraits of me as a goddess or Wonder Woman.
I look gorgeous on the paintings and look at myself for comparison, I suppose. I notice my hair is dark black on the half bottom but has a light brown shade on the top half and I don't like it. So I do some coloring on the top to even out the color, but somehow I end up bleaching most of my hair. At first look, I panic, but then realize I don't look bad blonde. I also have pretty black and pink highlights in the bottom of the hair and it actually looks amazing.

Join some event with hundreds of people in an auditorium. My Sensei is on stage talking and then he gets emotional and starts singing a song. He sucks at it, so I accidentally giggle and he is very offended. Says he is doing his best and if there are those who do better, to please come and bless us with their voice. Then he calls me and tells everybody that I am so good that maybe I'll be discovered by someone from the music industry today. Except he knows I hate crowds and singing in front of audiences and surprises. People applaud to incentivize me and I say absolutely no and refuse to go. He comes down the stage and sits really close, on the row in front of me. Someone to my right says we don't need to stay angry at each other and suggests we apologize, but he grunts, so I get up and leave. Outside, I am thinking I can't have my ASD diagnostic soon enough. Maybe then people will understand and be a little more respectful of how hard it is for me to be exposed like that in front of hundreds of people.
Then a car passes by on the road, an old model with a big rear. The owners tied, what I assume is their dog, to the windshield wipers and are driving with him standing outside on top of the trunk. The dog seems to be enjoying, but there is a huge risk he slips and gets hang on his leash. They stop at some traffic lights and some courageous guy comes running and unties the dog. The couple inside the car starts complaining and shouts threats, but they keep driving away. We find it odd. I tell the guy they probably will come back, so I stay by his side to support him. But they don't come and instead send a drone with inbuilt communication device. It says please to tie the dog to the drone and return it. I grab the drone and yell to the mic that they have to come and get it or else fuck off. So they obviously don't care about the dog and I tell the guy to keep it. Then the guy also talks to the drone and I notice he is holding the leash, but there is no dog at the end of it. I warn him and we freak out looking for the dog. Turns out he was sitting quietly behind us and allowed me to put the leash on him again, but he had been chewing on it and that's how it broke off.

I had a dream based on a story I had watched about this french creep guy who runs a model agency and abuses young modes. I dream I am also working for some modelling agency and the boss sexually harassed me. So I go confront him at some shop where he is supposed to be with his wife and two adult twin daughters, but he is not there. I still deliver my message to the wife and daughters. They mock me. They say my career is ruined and anyway they already received the money I owed them for quitting. I am confused, I swear I did not pay anything and I will actually demand a compensation in court. They keep laughing. A male secretary of theirs explains to me they already received a transfer from my parents after they were told I was quitting the program. I am pissed. They then taunt me that I am throwing away international fame and riches because of nothing. I say I prefer keeping my self respect and dignity and be happy than a sell-out zombie raped by that sleaze bag for any money in the world and also that there are many ways to make money in life. They are getting upset with me and stop laughing and just want me to go away. Eventually I do, I see I am not going to open up their eyes to how pathetic they are.
I cross the road, there are trams going both ways and lots of people on the crosswalk. I see the river down the street ahead. I am supposed to go to the street on the right, but I lots of people going straight ahead in a party mode, so I follow them. Then I also come across people showing indignation and complaining about some bullfighting. By the river, I see a fence around and area with sand on the ground, clearly an improvised arena. Outside is a small stable with about 6 young male calves lined up and some people are cheering and celebrating while others are naturally mourning the faith of the young ones and petting them. I get closer to also pet them and to say prayers for them. Then I spot a female calve on the side, looking very weak and being totally ignored. I guess she is there by mistake and no one seems to care about her. I get closer and she comes to me to cuddle up and lick me. I hug her and immediately decide I need to get out of there and take her with me somehow.

5th October 2020

Fragment:

Dream about Warcraft 3 and some special game mode where you would get cash injections every so often, instead of being able to mine gold. You also started out with a single worker.

I think I was playing this with my siblings, but it was mixed in with reality and the locations were based on my old town?

I was playing as Undead and got some groups of ghouls going after having made some basic buildings (a ziggurat or two and a necropolis?). I went out from the base, leading the ghouls, mix of myself and a hero unit. At some point while away from the base, another player showed up at the base and destroyed mostly everything. I remember trying to get the acolyte worker away.

7th October 2020

Scraps/bulletpoints:

- Bit in a dark hallway. Expected Diablo to be at the end. Instead there was an ettin. There were other creatures on the way there. Died at the end.
- Reincarnated? Somewhere else after that.
- BL items with modified look.
- Going around with a group of other people who were also reincarnates, I am surprised about having memories of my past life (direct memory of the previous dream sections). In the dream, I think of posting about this on DV.
- At the end of the dream, something about a group masturbation event with the rest of the reincarnates? We were surrounding a naked black man who was in his room. He was posing for us.

I am sitting around a table with Kreg, opposite me, and about eight or so other students. One guy goes first and hardly says anything about his project (I see a fairly simple but not bad looking rectangular model). The group reaction seems very neutral, as there wasn’t much to comment on. I am then volunteered to go next. I tell then I’m doing a beach or riverside area. I say I guess it’s not actually much of a beach, but just a riverside area. I’m imagining a decent sized river slowly flowing through a fairly forested area. I show the group an early model for a chair that is completely geometric, with a large back and a triangular seat. I then show a revised version that is simpler and closer to a traditional chair form. Johnny humorously asks if I actually like the first chair. I say yes and that I like cubism. He chuckles and it looks like he’s going to pull something up on his phone to show me. I now notice a pint sized stein half full of light colored beer on a coaster amidst my stuff. I think others notice it too, and I become embarrassed yet still start drinking out of it after I’m done presenting.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Friends running a school bar. Not going well, failling at pleasing costumers, lots of technical fails when playing live music. One night I come to help, suggest spontaneous performances, I sing a bit, people start to enjoy and I tell my friends it is a matter of time all problems get fixed and costumers start coming, since there are no competitors.

A high fashion model is doing a photoshoot, she is really tired and upset with how it's going. I stay to watch and help her out and realize it's really a hard time for her. She is doing a series of photos wearing weird conceptual stuff, she can't move once its on and they have to carry her up some rocks, through caves, cold and wet places. Then at some point they want her to climb a vertical cliff because everyone else is afraid to do it and help her. I help her and she is very thankful.

I watch some adorable movie and since there are now bendable screens, we can get a movie on a sticker, glue it to any surface and I take it to a bench by the sea and stick it there for people to watch if they sit there.

I meet some kids with a tiny tiny puppy, they let me play with him, then I ask if they bought or adopted. The girl confesses they bought, kind of scared of my reaction as she noticed I meant it as criticism, but I try to be civil and say it's ok, they didn't know better and explain to them why adopting from shelters is so important and buying animals is wrong.

Picking wood for my fireplace near my mom's house, but then head to a hotel instead of my home. My room is full of flour and other cake ingredients all over my bed. I tidy it up.

Morning of June 15, 2018. Friday.



In my dream, I am in a mostly undefined setting of which cannot be determined to be indoors or outdoors, though it does not have the typical essence of bilocation. It seems near late morning. I am involved in adding to an ongoing model and story about a journey by sea, though the features of this model sit on the picnic table or hover in the air slightly above it when implied to be within the ocean depths. Other people seem to be present watching and listening to my narration, but I do not actually see anyone else.

The ship seems to be a schooner, sailing from left to right in my view. I talk about the dangers that might be encountered. I slowly add an unrealistic number of rocks. The model schooner is about four inches in length.

As my dream nears its end, I add more and more squid, which hover in the air (though implied to be below the ocean’s surface in this model) which are slightly bigger than the ship. A couple of them roll up (left to right) and transform into snails that continue to hover in the air in the seascape’s implied depths. I slowly become aware that I am dreaming and had been non-lucidly testing vestibular system correlation, which I have been doing more of in my dreams in the last few months. (This correlates with another recent dream with different autosymbolism based on the same dynamics, where a solid pipe became a hose, and the eardrum was represented as a hissing valve I “popped”, more related to the illusory “ears” of the dream self.)

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The majority of my dreams since early childhood have vestibular system correlation autosymbolism of several different types. (This includes flying, falling, hovering, and rising dreams, which are unrelated to waking life, despite the multitude of people who continue to propagate falsehoods about “symbolism” without understanding that dreams are autosymbolic.)

Although this could be considered an extension of the usual water induction process, there is no water present (though WLWS is implied). It additionally includes the hovering factor of vestibular system correlation as well as the visual rendering (by way of the virtuous circle effect of developing a deeper and deeper understanding of dreams and clarity of mind stemming from both lucid and non-lucid dream control).

The vestibular system correlation is represented by the transformation of squid into snail and visual analogies to the inner ear; that is, semicircular canals, vestibular nerve, and cochlea.

What little waking life relevance (always literal) is present is based on my youngest son’s friends recently to leave the region on an oceangoing yacht, where they have otherwise lived for a long time.

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Morning of March 6, 2018. Tuesday.



My dream takes place in an ambiguous location as is most often the case. It seems to have an atypical essence that combines the living room (and porch in the last segment) of the Barolin Street house with my old bedroom in Cubitis.

The main focus near the beginning of my dream is upon two black plastic guns of which I supposedly had as a child (but in reality, had not, despite the sense of faux familiarty common to dreams). I seem to be about twenty years of age, though this is uncertain. I decide to throw them out, and break them into pieces. They each break into three pieces, the barrel, the stock, and the trigger (and housing).

I go to the front of the porch, where there is typical indoor outdoor ambiguity, and drop the pieces into a cardboard storage box that I assume had been put out for rubbish removal. They fall down between some other (unknown) objects on the side closest to me. Suddenly, my focus changes and I realize that this box belongs to Carol (older half-sister on my mother’s side; she died in December 2009). She appears as she was in the early 1980s. I apologize to her for accidentally dropping the pieces of my broken toy guns and mixing them with her own stored items. I tell her that they are deeper down in the box, under some other items, and that I cannot reach them now (as I am sure she does not want broken junk mixed in with her possessions). I am unsure if she is moving to another house, but that is possibly the case. She is not annoyed. She only expresses curiosity. (It is not much of an issue anyway, though my dream self greatly exaggerates the otherwise minimal event.)

From here, I start to talk to her about all the model kits of animals she had given me for Christmas when I was a boy. I mention the deer, the large black horse (of a much larger scale than the other kits), and several others, finally focusing the most on the mother bear and cubs model kit. She talks about the two small doors that opened under the base, apparently for storing something. This was not a real feature, but I accept it (false dream state memory). I vaguely associate it with a battery compartment, but my dream meanders from here into the waking transition.

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This is a very familiar autosymbolic dream template of which has repeated in one way or another, thousands of times, for over fifty years, and in fact, is one of my most common waking transitions. However, the details are otherwise usually very different, but not so different that I do not recognize all the key factors.

The first key factor is the porch setting, the porch being autosymbolism for a specific level of unconsciousness, inherently closer to the conscious self identity than other settings and almost always the last setting when rendered in a dream.

The second key factor is in the act of getting rid of my guns (even if they are only toys). This means that my dream self is subliminally aware that I am in the dream state (though not viably lucid). It means that I surrender my fictitious dream self essence to the biological factor of RAS modulation. (Liminal dream state awareness as well as liminal dream control are common factors in my dreams, as it is biologically impossible to be unaware that I am dreaming, of which has a direct influence on the autosymbolic nature of the dream itself, and this is what “interpreters” seemingly have no understanding of.)

The third key factor is RAS personification. It is passive here as my older sister Carol (as my dream self has cast away the aggressive factor into the cortex, as symbolized by the box). Preconscious “showdowns” are often rendered on a porch, even as they were in very early childhood.

I then am thankful for the nature of my life. The base of the model kit being vaguely thought of as relating to a battery compartment is related to the neural energy required to achieve consciousness reascension (waking).

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Dl1 - In a room there is a vast and incredibly detailed model of a ? hard to say it is so vast and i'm so small or close up...The room is really dark and the model is grey. There seems to be a single source of illumination in the room coming from the side. I look down and there is yet another vast model below it is some kind of start wars space station.

Dl2 - There is a mage who is fixing stuff. |When he waves his wand pink sparkly bits like magic dust float around in the air. He keeps doing it, can't remember what he was fixing.

Morning of August 19, 2015. Wednesday.

Dream #: 17,775-02. Reading time: 1 min 50 sec.



In my dream, my family and I are living on Barolin Street. However, my Cubitis home’s location (railroad track area only) seems to be a part of the setting later.

Billy Bones, the child-sized human anatomy model, has issues. It needs to have its bones and organs put back in after having fallen out. (In real life, building this kit requires strength and patience.)

I begin to consider the fragility of something so expensive, wondering how long it will last. The model falls apart. I decide to get rid of it, though it is too big to put in the bin. I do not want all the separate pieces to get scattered, as I might step on one and hurt my foot.

It is near nightfall. Billy Bones is now a pile of rubble (rather than bits of plastic and metal). There is also an unexplainable organic substance I do not want to touch. There is a sense of bilocation when the area near the railroad tracks seems to be inside our house. I ambiguously perceive I am indoors and outdoors at the same time, though the setting does not have a clear definition as previously.

I eventually decide the best place to leave the mess is in the middle of the railroad tracks a short distance from our home. I should bury it under the rocks of the trackbed. At this point, I notice that the pile of rubble has more substantial pieces of Billy again, including much of the rib section, part of the hand, and possibly a kidney. That annoys me, as I thought the mess would be less obvious to associate with a human form (in case someone confuses it with real bones). My dream fades from here.

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Important: Note where my dream self decided to bury Billy Bones in the last scene. Note the play on “bed” (trackbed). Ultimately Billy Bones is this dream’s sleep simulacrum (the subliminal indication of being asleep). Physicality in the dream state is imaginary and incohesive.

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As an added note, I found it amusing when I knew no one would go on to purchase the integumentary system (“skin”) for Billy Bones (by extending their subscription) which had never been advertised up to that point. Zsuzsanna talked to a cashier at the local newsagency, and they told her that everyone in town canceled their Billy Bones subscription when the bones and organs model was complete. After all, with “skin,” the model would look like a cheap plastic mannequin or dummy in contrast to the bones and organs displaying as an anatomy model as advertised. No one likes deception from a company that wants to obtain as much money as they can get, so Billy Bones remains Billy Bones, not Billy Dummy.

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Love Celebrity Phone Call

Going through some shopping center, and the images keep shifting to different settings. My smart phone goes off, and I answers it.
Mya’s on the other end!!!!! She asked me, “Cliff, why don’t we hang in the grass meadow yard behind the bushes!!! I am so delighted!!! So, we meet, and Mya wears a white rib tank top, and denim jeans!!!!

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Had a dream that I was involved with the rapper 50 cent.. I was in his house.. the floors were an eggwhite marble color and he had a white round table. I was standing there with him as he was talking and handling business and he winked at me.. I felt good about that wink and he grabbed my hand we held hands and started walking out the room.. he had on a black shirt with grey stripes going down and the top button was open I saw his muscular chest.. his hands did feel real in the dream.. they were strong but tender and walking with him I was in love..
Everything I thought about during my dream happened in my dream.. I thought about kissing him and it happened.. he leaned down to kiss my lips. We ended up in a bedroom that was a navy dark color but walls were of velvet texture.. He is laying on the bed and I am laying across his chest.. I see his bare chest and felt so many feelings it was definitely sexual. He is talking but I don't know what he is saying.. and it starts to get quiet.. in my dream I am thinking I should kiss him before I wake up and I start kissing his lips rubbing his chest and I slip on top of him we are kissing heavily and we started to make love.. felt real he is asking me if I love him and I answer with my moans.
Scene switches and I am at college holding two black books and few white folders these books must have been important because i kept counting them. There are other women around me and they are laughing and talking I felt that maybe they were friends and we all sit in front of this vintage restaurant ordering lunch. I was asked how my relationship was with 50 Cent I am smiling feeling good.
Scene changes I am in a room getting dressed and I am about to take a photo shoot I want to look in the mirror and it is foggy from the steam.. I move my hand over it and say it was not me.. the girl in the mirror didn't look like me at all. She was shorter and her eyes were a dark color and they had more of an oriental look to them.. I walk away do the photo shoot
50 cent walked me asking me did I hear anything and he didn't look happy I asked what was wrong and he told me if I saw the nude pictures of myself. I get upset and ask what nude pictures? He shows me pictures in a portfolio and I shake my head. I told him the pictures were for myself as a gift to him and the only way it had been leaked was through the laptop that was on the table when I had lunch with those women.
I felt betrayed and told him the girl did it and I said her name, how she was the one who betrayed me because she scanned the photos that were in my portfolio. He look hurt like his heart was broken. I tried kissing him but he just moved away and kept rubbing his face.. he sat down said how he loved me and didn't want anything to happen between us
Scene switches and we are at a clothing store and were greeted at the door with champagne. He is still arguing with me about the pictures I took and I am trying to tell him what happened. I get on this cell phone that had a red glowing screen and I was able to see the person I called in 3d it was weird and I am screaming at the woman who is suppose to be my friend.. she is on my screen in 3d trying to deny and I told her she was fired and had security grab the laptop from her to check any evidence of my pictures and to destroy them. I look around and I am now walking by myself I see this long skinny guy come towards me flirting.. trying to pick me up and I said no because I was engaged. This guy starts bad mouthing at me calling me a bitch and demanding why I didn't want his number.. I am trying to find 50 cent who was no where to be found and this guy becomes violent towards me. He had on all black and had jewelry he asked who was my man I said 50 cent he walked away and I am starting to really look for 50 cent the guy started to follow me and was whispering something I couldn't hear and I saw 50 cent who was putting stuff he got me away and said he had it with me because he saw me talking to the guy.. I told him what happened but unfortunately woke up.

I was over my friend's house. I went inside to get ice pops. We were playing catch with a plastic deer, who's tail broke off. We went into the living room and played ps2. It was a modded console with a custom controller. We played some fighting game in Japanese with pretty much every character in the world. I chose Tsuna and Spanner from KHR. For some reason Tsuna was replaced with Mario. after that my mom came to pick me and my cousin up (when did she get there?). We went to a huge department store. We went through the back and walked up lots of stairs.

At the top I realized I was alone. The room was painted gold with pillars and had a bright red carpet. There were a lot of girls in bunny suits. A blonde lady grabbed me by the arm and told me to get dressed. The costume (although embarrassing) was surprisingly comfortable. She made us practice for a photoshoot or something. It took hours. I even had to spike up my hair in a weird way. She made us smile in like fifty different ways and practice posing. After we were done some of the girls left the room and there were only two left and me. One of the girls got a text message telling her to turn on the TV in the room. We did and saw that the ones who left were already on a stage performing without us. The blonde lady set this whole thing up. We were pissed, and wanted our revenge.

We walked out of the building and around to the back of the stage. We walked on while the others were still dancing as if it were part of the show. I wish I could've seen that blonde lady's face when we started dancing like idiots in front of the whole crowd. After the number was done we all walked back inside. There was a chalkboard set up with sliders set to the words "performance: BAD." I knew it was our group of 3 who caused this. The three of us took our suits of and slammed them to the ground. I walked out the front door.

It was the middle of a winter night outside the building. As I was walking I met up with an old man. He seemed very afraid of something. I walked with him for a while, telling him that I had no parents (lie, for some reason). He showed me his stamp and eraser collection. I don't know why but I was all shocked and amazed when he showed it to me.

Morning of June 14, 1975. Saturday.



This dream scenario takes place mostly in the living room in our Cubitis home and everything is mostly the same as it is in reality. My father seems to be the only other character in my dream. (I believe there is a subtle association with Father’s Day, which would be the day after this date, though I am the one who gets a gift.) I am on the couch - and this was the time when visitors used it for sleeping. It is in its normal place in the southwest corner of the living room, lengthwise to the south wall.

I have been given a plastic model kit from Revell, I believe. It is a cobra, the snake kind, not the car model. It is black and has a couple interchangeable pieces for the final version. (I have not seen this kit in real life if there is one like it.) The finished plastic model has hinges in one section that allow it to sway side to side like a real cobra. I do not think I have finished putting the model together before my dream finally fades.

It is possible that my dream self in this case associated the Cobra Car with the cobra snake. However, I had a very early childhood dream of a cobra in the hayloft and deliberately trying to “create” it within my lucid dream in one clearer version, which can also be found in this journal (Link). There may be a connection or association, in this case, “creating” a cobra with a model rather than as a tulpa.

In real life (prior to this dream), I had gotten a large number of plastic model kits from sister Carol, for my birthday (December 20th) and Christmas, that were of animals such as a bear, deer, a couple horses (including a rather large black stallion), and so on. My mother had gotten me mostly only car models, but also a few dinosaur models later.

Morning of June 17, 1972. Saturday.



In my dream, which is fairly long but with no real plot, I am somehow in control of a dune buggy (or “dune buster”) that is a full-size version of the Sand Crab model I had gotten as a gift months before. I am mostly disembodied yet somehow still the “driver” of the vehicle, usually “flying” or floating to the left of the dune buggy from at least five feet away, sometimes more. It seems to be early afternoon for the most part. The setting does not seem to be a beach, but rather a large desert-like region (though still with the sense that the ocean may be around at some point even though I contemplate the Sahara Desert in the back of my mind). There are no people around at any point.

A desert in this case, as associated with a beach, seems to represent the liminal state between sleeping and waking, that is, the ocean (of the unconscious) and the day to day waking reality. This “beach” is much larger than a typical beach. My dream did seem long and with many partial awakenings. Sand dunes have appeared in a number of my dreams and seem to represent the changes of the dream state itself, as well as sand also being associated with coalescence.