non-lucid

..

Date: 06.11.13
Total sleep: 8 h (3 am - 11 am)
Daytime Techniques: oddities - 10 min. back, only 3 times for some minutes - trying to sense everything around and inside me - like in Joshi´s ADA tut
Lucid Techniques: repeating mantras before sleeping and in between dream-parts; after final waking up I tried a bit hapazardly to WILD but lost patience real quick - heard the traffic outside - got itches here and there - gave up very quickly - maybe too awake - or maybe happy to be done with all the stress while dreaming.
Recall Techniques: criggling notes for the first part - the other two awakenings not - the second I had sweated through my pyjamas and tried writing, but was shivering and had to change clothes and lost it - third time I jumped out of bead, happy to be out of the nightmare
Fell Asleep: 3 am (bad girl - and had drunk alcohol too - like Friday - there was also impaired recall then)
Dream Fragment number one - Title: Hunting Dog-Loving Nazi-Killers
Dream:
Really bad recall - but anyway:
I was coming to investigate a murder of a girl and a boy with an other investigator.
It was a nasty affair - kids pretty much chopped up (shouldn´t have peeked into the Sally Hook thread..).
But their dog was missing - and we got shown pictures of a beautiful pedigree dog.
Then it was obvious, it must have been the Nazis, camping somewhere in the woods - because they like such dogs, and sure had taken it with them - otherwise it would be howling around the corpses.
So - we made out into the woods - it was winter and we walked and looked and walked - and suddenly I got lucid.
I forgot about the planned hand-rubbing - just remembered to really put my full attention towards a detail somewhere - still a bit concerned about the dream - wanting overlook - I choose a branch fork a bit in the distance and quite high up.
Sure enough - this fork "sucked" me in and I was up there (no flying like I usually did when lucid = air-swimming - I was just "zooming" there).
The last lucid thought I had was - damn - now I don´t have a body - what now?
Next thing - I saw that camp and lost lucidity and was somehow on the ground again - to go on Nazi-hunting.

We came to that camp and it was not as expected - no Nazis but the dog alright and many skinny scared people, who had some sort of problem with a fire-magic they had tinkered with and which burned them out now.
Now it starts getting all jumbled up - the above I wrote down, but I don´t have anything coherent from there on any more.
It seemed all one story what followed - with one awakening in between - but all a horrible stress.
I was with a sort of tribe of people who had brought nasty stuff upon themselves and we were constantly fighting, trying to catch someone or something and chain it down or whatever.

Strangely - much later was another moment, we were at a lake - and again - I got lucid - but not a lot - and tried to zoom over to the other shore of the lake for some reason - well - I got off the ground and can´t remember anything else from there.

All else are only pictures or mini-scenes - see snippets later.
There were also some strange sexual rituals somewhere connected - but I was only observer.
Now I write - it is a lot I can write - but the other days, except Friday - I had whole storylines.

Awake: after that first fragment - forgot to look, all overall 11 am
Vividness: (scale of 1-15, 10 is waking life vividness) 7/8
Awareness: (1-10; or lucid) mostly maybe 5 but twice shortly lucid first time much clearer
Length: (how long it felt like! Because that matters) That fragment felt like an afternoon - all nightmare together - maybe a week?
Emotions: shocked, angry, only a little afraid, also a bit of morbid fascination, but most of all and by far most intense - stress - I had to prevent bad stuff from happining all the time it felt - I did manage - but it took my all
Dream Signs: There was a mini-scene interspersed, where I was in an audience for a performance - and suddenly an old schoolmate turned up with the maths material I had missed the class for - he gave me his notes to copy

Side-note

Craziness at home
I'm in the family room working on the laptop (though I have no memory of actually seeing the screen). I've placed an order with Amazon for about $20, but since I had a $20 gift card code, the order ended up being free. I wasn't entirely happy with one of the items, but I decided it'd do. Later, I find the item I really wanted. I check the status of the original order, and it's still processing, so I'm able to cancel it. I'm not sure what to do about the gift code, though, since I threw away the original paperwork. I hope they'll give it back to me or give me a new one and that it's not just lost. Later, leafing through some papers in a drawer, I come across some Amazon paperwork. I look through it more carefully, hoping it might have the gift code. On the second or third page, I see a box for a "sponsor code" and realize this is what I'd been looking for.

Now I'm in the dining room. The dining room table has been moved right under the window, and there's a tiny plant on it, no more than a couple inches high. It's an ugly thing, thin and spirally. The plant is dangerous, often shooting energy beams at anyone nearby. I tried to take my own shots at it, but I missed, so now I'm hiding under the table with a couple of my daughters. I'm hoping the long tablecloth will be enough to hide us from the police when they come looking - they're the ones who put the plant here, and they don't like having them messed with. I realize my younger daughter is moving around too much, that she'll give us away by moving the tablecloth, and I get her to calm down and sit down. I look up and realize that the table above me is gone. We're still surrounded by the tablecloth, but I can see up to the ceiling. Now I'm out from under the table, backing away, hoping the plant doesn't fire on me.

Now I'm standing at the kitchen window, looking out. Something is different, but it takes me a moment to realize what it is. With a start, I realize there's a big tree down between our house and our neighbour’s that hadn't been there before. It starts in our yard and goes back towards his house, coming uncomfortably close to it. I realize it was the big old one that was dying; then I realize it can't be, because we had it cut down. I'm trying to think what tree it was, but I don't worry too much about it, since it's obviously there and has to be dealt with. Looking at its base, I can see where the tree fibers ripped away from what's now the stump. On the side where it fell, some of the fibers are still connected to the stump, just bent at a crazy angle.

Now I'm back in the dining room area (though the plant is gone). I'm trying to explain something to my parents, something about what a D&D wizard can do. I'm looking at a chart showing levels, HP, MP (yes, I know D&D doesn't use MP), success probability, and other stats. I'm trying to show that wizards aren't bad because they can use a certain really handy spell. Loooking back through the stats, I realize it's not so great, because this spell will use up most of a high level wizard's MP and it only has slightly better than a 50% chance of success. I start poring over the numbers again, trying to find a better way to use his resources to accomprish the same thing. On the spell chart, I notice there's a version that can be cast from the main menu, and I decide to take a look.

Now I'm looking at a projection of a game on the wall. I'm poking around the main menu trying to find the spell. Instead, I end up in control customization. It seems the game was designed for phones, not tablets, so by default only the left side of the keyboard is available for shortcut keys. I switch it to tablet mode to get the full keyboard available, but when I try to save and leave it warns me that my layout will have to be completely redone. I don't feel like doing that now, so I just cancel it.



Disturbance at church
I'm in church, waiting for it to start. It's getting quiet, but our pastor hasn't stood up yet. I turn around and ask a question of the eldest daughter of the family behind me; then I realize it's completely quiet and that one of our elders has stood up and is waiting for me to be quiet. I sheepishly turn around and sit quietly. The elder announces we'll be starting the service with hymn ???. Along with the rest of the congregation, I grab my hymnal and turn to it.


Strange flame
I'm in a room with a man and a woman. In the middle of the floor, a tall thin flame is coming up from nowhere. We can't leave the room, and it's getting hotter by the moment. For a while, we stand in a wide barrel near the flame. It helps, but it's still no solution. We get out, and the other man moves the barrel onto the flame. I don't think this is a good idea, and I'm proved right when the flame melts through the barrel's bottom in just a couple of seconds. We actually get back in the barrel, standing with the flame at our center. We know some people are going to be coming soon, but it's not going to be a good thing.


House styles
I'm talking with someone about pencil and ??? houses, how ??? houses tend to be small and dingy where pencil houses are nice. I'm walking through a ??? with my daughter. It's small, dark, but still attractively decorated. Right next to the back door is a tiny kitchen which is only big enough for one person to stand in. A woman is in it, and I talk to her for a few moments.


Fragment
Something about sailing and friendly pirates.

I can remember 3 dreams from last night. One was lucid.

1. I was going to my school in a bike. At halfway i realized i was wearing underwear to my school. I went back and changed it.

2. Oops i forgot it!

3. In my dream i was reading about a celebrity in wikipedia. I noticed he was dead in 2010. (He's not really dead i actually read his wiki yesterday). I became lucid. Sadly i can't remember anything after it.

The past while I haven't been sleeping great and there are often days I don't sleep at all and wait until after college to take naps. Today I took two naps, the first one lasted for maybe 2 hours and the second one lasted for 2.5.

In the second one I had such an odd dream that's stuck in my head. I was trying to walk through what I think was a corn field or something. A blonde girl was following me and had a panther. She had control over the panther and often sat down to pet it like a cat.

I noticed I was afraid of being bitten, but never got bit. I also noticed that I had a greyish wolf with me, kind of like protecting me but the blonde girl didn't seem too afraid of it.

Please help translate this

Earlier today I did a lengthy side-notes entry about a rather strange meditation experience. Not long after, I recalled one of my actual dreams from last night. So here is the entry for that.

At my school we have a tradition (I don't know if this goes for every school in the US or just ones in my state or what.) but at the end of the last year of high school, all of the 4th year students (the seniors) walk through the halls of the school one last time before graduating.
And that's just what we were doing.
The school was also distorted in that there was this large arena-like room in the center of the school where the cafeteria normally is. The second floor ran around it, forming a balcony all around the room. And there was a huge single-file line of students running along that second floor balcony; all of the students that were walking the halls. Me included, since I am a senior this year.
One other detail I remember was that there were some large red and white banners hanging in the arena room. Strange since our school's colors are blue and yellow.
Anyways, I can't remember the specifics of what actually happened. I went through some bland, mundane argument with one of the teachers, because I wanted to be with S and K, but the teacher wanted everyone to be in alphabetical order.

Had a very light sleep tonight.

Only recall a single dream that had me searching through a giant pile of test meters to find one with a particular serial number on it.

stupid work related dreams....

I don't recall my dreams from last night, beyond that my mother was in them. At one point, I woke up because I felt cold. I know I had dreams... I just can't recall them. This has happened a few nights this week. It's weird for me, because my dream recall is usually pretty good.

Maybe as I go through the day, I'll remember and then edit this post.

Edit: I recalled the dream as I was eating dinner.

I dreamed I went to eat at an old buffet restaurant with my brother and mother. It was ugly, with lots of cheap wood paneling and muddy-looking murals of pine trees. The carpet was a sort of ugly beige pattern. The interesting thing about the chain was that it was a combo buffet/ "real" restaurant, so there was also a regular menu in addition to the buffet, but nobody ever really went there for anything but the buffet. So, they had regular servers, but very rarely did anybody order off of the dinner menu.

My mother was commenting on how they couldn't keep servers there because they only paid the server minimum wage (servers make an average of $3 per hour in many states in the US because it's expected that their tips will make up the rest) and most people didn't tip their servers at buffets/tip enough, because they didn't feel like their server "did enough".

I don't remember if the food was any good. If I don't remember... I guess not.

LUCID
*I remember telling him hey you should stay lucid in the dream always. He didn't want to because it was to intense he choose to be in a state of non lucidity. Then I started to fly showing him how this was. I flew with great precision and composer. I floated above him thinking I will always watch over him.

NON LUCID
*My brothers old girlfriend was so happy to see me that she gave me a hug and didn't let me go. I thought ok you can let go now kind of weird being that I am not attracted to my brothers girlfriend at all. She was with her friend who looked just like her and was kind of cute. Then I noticed Thrangu Rinpoche who is a great master. I sat next to him and bowed with out really knowing what to say.

Dream recall from today's WBTB/naps.

Dream 1(fragments):

I was playing some 2D platformer, where i was moving around some green floating platforms and moving crates to make bridges appear. One of bridges was glitchy and worked in reverse.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was talking to somebody and we had some disagreement, suddenly various enemies from serious sam series started appearing and it turned into video game and i've had to fight my way through some rooms using double shotgun. There was one room with kleer skeletons being stuck in decorations. Then suddenly as i enter one of rooms i am back at home, i notice that there"s someone glitch-stuck in the wall and i feel that i am dreaming, i try to stabilize but dream fades out.

Dream 3:

I was playing some shmup that looked like something of Exceed series, closer to Exceed 3rd. There was a boss fight and boss was moving around the screen releasing easily dodgeable circular spread of red projectiles. Then boss suddenly releases dense circle f white projectiles, which i have to bomb, then i defeat the phase and boss moves to next one. Next one goes very similar to one Exceed 3rd extra boss pattern with 3 projectiles creating spinning waves of smaller projectiles. Then next pattern boss starts releasing alot of red projectiles by sides, walling down, and then semi-aimed walls of triangle projectiles. it gets ridiculous but i manage to dodge. Then last pattern goes off with circular projectile spam. I defeat the boss and message box with dragon talking appears and says that i should try higher difficulty level or something like that.

Dream 4(fragment):

I was looking out of window and noticed a brown dragon behind a tree.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was going through some dungeon.

Dream 2(fragments):

I was at some school place and there was something about magic, and then library.

Dream 3(fragments):

I was observing story in a world, which while being based on minecraft was not blocky. There was some kind of catastrophe and a pair of people were hiding in a semi-destroyed house trying to survive, then they rebuild it and notice lava under house. Then in some different place on the cliffside, griefers become invisible and punch someone passing by off the cliff.

Dream 4(fragments):

I was playing some fps game and there was a mission in the city. There was some enemies and i fought them using some weapons, mostly usual guns, then i was low on ammo and two enemy planes appeared. I waited out and they had bad AI, they ended up flying into each other. Ground enemies still kept coming though.

I just had to laugh - in my workbook I had been announcing to have had noted down a first dream - and I did - but I managed to write with pencil over a page, where there was already text in pencil..

This might take some deciphering - or not be possible, because it was some hardly readable criggle as well.
I have to say - it was more so the night before last night - so I didn´t wite on DV at all then - the topics and interactions with my DC´s are getting more complex and more down to the core of my person, it seems.
Very personal things.

What I could do is keep the general outline and describe some stories within the stories, which I deem relatively "harmless" for public consumption.

I´ll do that with the second dream.

I also came across a thread of BrandonBoss, who provided the following mask - I will use it better adapted for tonight´s dreams - for now:

Date: 05.11.13
Total sleep: 9.5 h (3 am - 12:30 am)
Daytime Techniques: taking oddities but also random times, when something ever reminded me to ponder, how I and reality were influencing each other - how I was really there and then and thinking 10 min. back about the same.
Lucid Techniques: no - didn´t "want" to (??)
Recall Techniques: criggling notes in between dreams, posting snippet, workbook and in here
Fell Asleep: before the second dream started - maybe at 10 am
Dream Title: first one - lost - second one: Buying a Flat in Munich
Dream:
I was living in Berlin, but visiting Munich to go ahead and buy a flat together with a guy I did not know, but he was there to meet me later, and a friend from school had arranged the contact. No idea, why and how I thought, I had the money - I was still a student in my understanding and apparent age - there even was a short episode of me pondering this - there was a slight insecurity, if I really could do it - but everybody else seemed to think so..
A beautiful art nouveau house - not in good care though.
And opposite the "Hofbräuhaus" - hilarious - that´s the most famous beer-brewery + pub in Munich - neither it nor the area looked like it is in reality - but not far away either.
That made me think - great - if somebody visits me from out of Bavaria - they are going to find it for sure..
I arrived early - and found that a friend of mine from Latvia was squatting there by coincidence.
He´s been doing this in Berlin in the past, when this was a common phenomenon in Berlin after the wall fell, and lots buildings were derelict..

Later the school-friend and the guy arrived - and two more people - very much later an ex of mine as well.
I will leave out the personal interactions, but we had actual conversations and interactions, that did make - at least partly - quite a lot of sense and were almost pure positive - that´s rare, as far as I remember..

The interaction with the people was besides the scenery - why I liked the dream so much.

Hole in the story - but not my memory..

Yeah - not much more on offer - only - the flat was having 6 rooms - one was a normal room with a bathtub in the floor etc. - and it was still having stuff from the owners before (probably died - it was stuff you imagine old people have still from around the time of WWI - beautiful chests and jewellery and books..
In between I got a little lost in some gathering-together what I like - but I got off it..
Yeh - and more and more exits and surroundings were accessible - like a meadow and a shore to the river or a rocky path leading into further meadows and woods from a small window, a cafe, which could be reached over a gallery around the front of the house..

Awake: twice in between dream two with maybe max. 10 min. and twice non-lucid re-entry into dream 2 - and finally got up 12:30
Vividness: (scale of 1-15, 10 is waking life vividness) 11
Awareness: (1-10; or lucid) hm - non-lucid - otherwise I would say - really quite aware and stuff very logical, actually; not acquainted to think along this 1-10 of awareness there - maybe a 7?
Length: (how long it felt like! Because that matters) It felt like a day from a bit before noon to maybe 9 pm
Emotions: a bit of worrying and a bit of being unsure how to react to offers/statements I received - but mainly happy, looking forward, feeling sympathy and a bit more, wondering and liking what I saw
Dream Signs: Only planned in this case but - removals - but first time about actually buying something to live in and no problems - well - almost none with getting stuff sorted
Friends from school involved shortly
An ex-boyfriend arriving late at the scene
A city I used to live in
A flat and the surrounding country/city not following logics a lot

I dreamed about abandoned, crumbling, overgrown overpasses and train tracks through the wilderness. I clung to the bottom of one, like monkey bars. Some friends and I went into the wilderness to explore, but we were afraid of getting lost. We ran across another group of people. In our explorations, we cut through a lot of grass and underbrush, and I was worried about the impact we were having on the landscape.

I then dreamed that I got a job at a shop in a historic section of a city. It was a job at a candy shop, and it was partly commission-based. My mother didn't want me to take it. She said the area was "too dangerous".
I was at the outside cafe section of a nearby restaurant when I went lucid. The restaurant was inside of a converted Victorian style house. When I realized I was dreaming, I immediately went inside to look for a specific DC I really wanted to see. I didn't see him. Instead, there was a waiter who was in his late 30s but mostly bald. I covered my eyes and tried to imagine that he was the DC. When I uncovered them, he had changed a little bit; his face had morphed, and was a little blurry, and tufts of hair were coming out of the side of his head, and he looked a little... melted. I got very frustrated.
I recall that my surroundings were hazy. I recall the restaurant having a lot of dark wood in its decor, and being a fine dining/upscale sort of place.

Review:
I think I went lucid because I realized the area I was in was unfamiliar and I did not recall how I got there, and this was a cue that I was dreaming. I have also just randomly gone lucid a lot out of "habit" - I am used to habitually questioning reality, now, so I also do it while I am dreaming as well, which I suppose is the whole point of ADA. This has led to a gradual but measurable increase in lucid dreams. Three years of practice are finally paying off.

For anybody who is just getting started, remember this: it took a year and a half of trying before I had my first lucid dream.

I need to work on remembering to stabilize and observe before trying to do anything. I've been frustrated at the haziness of my lucids lately, but I also have not been observing and stabilizing as I ought to. I need to work on vividness and stabilization. I miss the beautiful landscapes of my first few lucids... I've stopped observing and gotten too impatient, and it's backfiring.

I try too often to exert direct control. I think my attempt to change the waiter may have been a tad too direct. I still wouldn't call it a complete failure - I did succeed at partially changing his features.

Things I could have done:
- Asked the waiter to seat me, sat down at the table, and waited for the DC I was trying to find to show up at the time we'd agreed on.
- Continued to look for the DC in the crowd.
- Looked for the table that I knew the DC was waiting at.
- Used the restaurant doorway to go somewhere that I knew the DC was at (scene change).
- Reached behind myself and felt for the DC's hand.

So, tonight will be another night - and hopefully, another lucid. I need to remember to use my environment to my advantage.

My dream started with me waking in my home. It was one of those dreams that feel so real, you don't question things. I walk into the kitchen and start trying to lift things with my mind. I would extend my hand, then exert some force, and I could get some objects to shake. I played around a bit,, excited about my new found powers.

There were 3-4 other people in the room, friends of mine. I put my hands on one of their shoulders, and made my body fly up so I was hand-standing there. Eventually I figured out how to keep gravity the direction I wanted it, at least for a bit, and spent time lying on the ceiling. It took some effort to stay up though.

I then learned of a school rumored to help people like me learn to use their powers. I was suspicious, but decided to go to it. Some of my friends tried to dissuade me, but I went.

I met someone from the school out front of it. It was in the middle of a field of tall grasses, golden yellow in the November sun. He brought me passed a gate, small wooden one connected to a low fence like you would see around a garden. I probably could have stepped over it (I"m 6'4") or flew, but it felt impassible and I felt trapped. I was taken into a prison like school. We stayed in cells most of the day, had a 2 meals a day and a recreation time. That's it. And we couldn't leave.

I made friends with the cook, a big African man who prepared lunch. I overheard him talking to himself in Japanese, and when I went to get my food, asked for it in the same language. He was surprised and we bonded over our shared language. (The cafeteria only offered sushi, which was the only bright spot about being there.)

After a short time (Though I felt days had passed) I went out into the yard alone, and something strange was happening. There was a strange purple light, and the plants were growing bigger in a twisted kind of way. I debated just leaving and hoping it would give me an opportunity to escape, but the plants felt ominous, and I decide I couldn't leave them.

I focused and somehow was able to cut off the source of the strange light, and turn things back to normal. (Whenever I used any of my powers, it felt like I had a muscle I never new I had somewhere in me that I was using, or possibly a part of my brain.)
I ran inside and told them I was leaving. I talked to the cook, and he decided to come with me. We went into the tall gold field, and up to the fence. We then opened a large gate I had never seen before and left.


Thats the end of what I remember, but I found it very interesting that I was using abilities that I had wanted to learn to use in my Lucid dreams. Lifting things, changing gravity (Flying is natural for me, but I've never sat on the ceiling before) ect. I just Kind of wish I had become lucid, but if I had, I would have gotten less practice, and my dreams don't last as long when I'm Lucid. Yet.

Last night I ask my DC what was his name. He stated, "My name is Brandon...Brandon Boss...and yours?" I thought to myself, "Boss? Who the hell do he think he is? What an arrogant asshole! He doesn't deserve to know my damn name!" Then I sashayed my fine ass away from him so he could see what he was going to miss by trying to get smart with me...I'll show him damn it!

WTF!!!!!

3rd person, I'm looking down at a wide stone staircase in a castle, and descending the stairs there's this woman wearing buckskin who I think of as some kind of hunter, she's talking with the king. She's saying the words "-get our answers."

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm taking my IRL youngest sister, L., to the sands to get her first dragon. (Relevant to upcoming IRL event today, sans dragons.) (Edit: Nevermind, the IRL event actually did wind up involving dragons. Or the word 'dragon', anyway.) I was talking with a few older relatives about the dragons, and L. kept trying to hurry us up, anxious about getting there in time to see the dragons hatch; but for the rest of us this is all old hat, so we wasted time talking, and now we're running late. We keep telling L. that it's fine, we'll make it on time, and even if we miss the hatching you've still got a window of a few hours after the dragons hatch to bond with them. But when we get down to the sand, the eggs are already gone. We have to catch up with the hatchlings in the barn instead.

Before we leave for the barn, I see what I think of as a king cobra in the sand - it's huge, as wide as a person, which I think of as normal for king cobras. I pick L. up and there's a chase sequence that ends with me tossing the snake over a wall, but then I notice a scratch on my finger. It must have bit me.

I can tell I'm starting to pass out. I go inside a house and find my IRL sister S. with a friend of hers, and I tell them about the snake bite and ask them to call the hospital or treat it somehow. The friend takes my hand with the bite and looks at the veins, which look broad and red and cloudy, like they've swollen or burst under the skin, and she gets me some cream to put on my skin. I recognize it as some ordinary skin cream that's not going to help, and I try to convince S. to take me to the hospital before I pass out.

(Woke up with my hand hurting where the snake bit it - turns out I really do have a tiny scratch there IRL, might be a papercut. Just after I finished writing this down, I got a phone call from S, letting me know she'd been taken to the hospital on account of almost passing out from unknown causes. A few hours and a not-too-serious diagnosis later, I tried to get a little more sleep.)

I'm lying in bed in some mansion, with a few of S's friends around bothering me until I get up and go somewhere with them. As I walk through a doorway into the hall, I realize this is a dream. It's not as vivid as I'd like - I can see everything fine, but it doesn't feel quite real, more like watching something on a screen - so I try a mantra to make it more vivid. Instead, everything disappears. (In retrospect, that seems obvious. I was focusing on the words instead of the surroundings.)

Next scene I remember is a woman using the family name Gale, returning to a Spanish-style house on the west coast, overlooking the sea. She's lived here a few times over the years, and for a moment I see it in sepia tones and with flowers in the windows, as she's remembering an old photograph from when she'd first lived here with her two daughters, before she became immortal. She's thinking that even though she's coming back earlier than expected this time - something on her mind about trouble on the east coast - she was still gone long enough that she can pass herself off as her own cousin.