non-lucid

Morning of April 7, 1974. Sunday.



I am somehow in the distant past in my “orb” form, though not sure if the implied journey was by time machine, by mental will, or due to some sort of cosmic event (as there is no recalled backstory).

Everything has a sort of strange red glow, not all the same shade, but close. There are reddish dinosaurs such as brontosaurus (apatosaurus) and “cavemen” with red hair living during the same time period. Some of these cavemen, however, are more like stereotypical movie vikings and wearing horned helmets and carrying spears with reddish arrowheads. I have a strange impression that this shade of red is “extinct” and had only existed during these more “primitive” times. The red lava seems to pose a possible threat to this world but I am not bothered.

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Red dominating a dream’s rendering sometimes relates to having slept a bit too long and such seems to be the case here.

Morning of March 24, 1974. Sunday.

Dream #: 2,652-02. Reading time: 1 min 30 sec. Readability score: 50.



Classmates, including Steve J, Steve W, Ann L, and I, are supposedly going “into the wilderness.” We go to the anticipated location, maintaining a slow-motion leaping that is similar to slowly flying up and down in a vertical position.

We are going to my middle school’s library. I realize I am in my pajamas, but I do not feel out of place. I feel comfortable as I sit down at a rectangular wooden table to read a book. I am eventually aware I am wearing a robe, yet when I look down, I notice it is open, and my legs are bare and exposed (even though I had been wearing pajamas moments before). My classmates do not draw attention to my state of undress and also begin to look at books.

I start to realize that I am dreaming and recognize that I am not wearing clothes because, in reality, I am undressed and asleep in bed. With vague amusement, I try to maintain awareness of what I am reading but fail to do so as I am already slowly waking.

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Known causal factors:

Being undressed in a dream: Subliminal, liminal, or concurrent preconscious awareness and acknowledgment of being in bed in REM sleep.

The lack of linear cohesion and continuity is a result of correlation with the dreaming and waking processes. I am firstly thinking about exploring a forest. Then, there is subliminal awareness that I am indoors in a bedroom (though distorted into the library setting based on an emerging consciousness thread). First, I am wearing pajamas, as in response to the subliminal awareness that I am in bed, then I have bare legs to augment that realization.

Vestibular system correlation had already started (caused by the physicality of the dream self being imaginary and not representing the orientation of the physical body) with the “slow-motion leaping” that is similar to flying. Vestibular system correlation is a precursor of the waking process, which typically causes falling and flying dreams.

Libraries and reading serve as an emerging consciousness factor to hone my awareness of the dream state. It remains one of my most common perceptual triggers to initiate conscious self awareness while dreaming, though it is not always feasible (as the text often continuously changes).

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Morning of January 27, 1974. Sunday.



I am at my middle school in Arcadia. For some reason, my GI Joe jeep is a lot bigger than in reality, but not quite big enough to really drive around in, it seems; perhaps about the size of a child’s pedal-car toy. However, over time, it moves around seemingly on its own through various areas of the large school’s halls or as if by remote control (though I do not think I have the remote).

My good friend Johnny C is in the middle school cafeteria with me. We are seated near the end of a table. The jeep is there, but there is some sort of electrical problem near the dashboard. An area near the front seat starts to spark and sizzle (which I can clearly hear) and melt a bit (though in reality my GI Joe Jeep neither has the electrical features nor can it be controlled by remote). At this point, I am not sure if the jeep is mine or belongs to an unknown group doing some sort of test drives or experiments in our school. I watch and see it very clearly when it stops in a more open area between tables and see small embers and fire emerging from around the gas pedal and parts of the dashboard.

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Morning of January 19, 1974. Saturday.



I am at my middle school and in the large cafeteria. It seems to be the weekend though (as it is in reality). During this morning, in being here, I discover that most of my classmates have either been replaced by androids or have always been androids (even though their body shape is nothing like that of a real person - too simple and angular).

A girl I know; a classmate; Andrea M, is lying on her back, resembling a trapezoidal form, some sort of trapezoidal prism relative to her torso with only a few defined angles, not really resembling the human form. All of these “androids” (or whatever they really are) are not active in any way. It seems very strange to see the cafeteria filled with all these strange figures, most of which are on their back and not moving. They almost remind me of something you could just make using a fairly simple net (in the geometrical sense) folded about in the right ways. In some ways, they are almost like a type of furniture or could maybe even serve as a trapezoidal “cardboard box”. I do not think any other “real” people are around except perhaps a janitor (and we do not approach each other or interact).

Nothing much happens, though there is an odd level of curiosity as I walk about the large lunchroom.

An android or robot, or in fact any artificial person, especially if inactive (including even a doll, mannequin, ventriloquist dummy, or statue), is a “downgrading” of dream character projection. On one level, it may reflect the lack of awareness (of the conscious self) within the dream state, that is, a lack of conscious self dynamics (or conscious self identification) while in the dream. Characters rendered as such also imply static waking thoughts. The fact they are lying on their back may represent a subtle association of being aware of being in the dream state (yet still non-lucid).

The intriguing thing here is that the form of the “androids”, especially taking note of the closest (female) one, also reminds me somewhat of the shape of certain kinds of bridges as well as suggesting an overpass, of which represents the waking transition (dream self going over the bridge to coalesce into the conscious self).

Morning of January 18, 1974. Friday.



I “wake” (within my dream) seemingly in the middle of the night (in Cubitis). I get the sense and false memory that Eek (the sketchy comic strip mouse) is wandering about in my room. The electric heater is rattling away in the center of my room at one point (it is very cold in reality) and there is at least one false awakening. This “incomplete” awareness (especially of the weird mouse that walks on two legs) seems “wrong” to me and very eerie on one level.

Eventually, I seem to somehow teleport from my bed and immediately kneel down upon taking notice of an odd form on the wall near the floor. Just to the left (less than a foot) of my bedroom door is a toasted Eek. He is stuck to the wall, almost two-dimensional. (There is no hole anywhere in the wall to imply a mousehole.) He may have been set on fire by my heater and thus got stuck on the wall when trying to run away, though he may also have been electrocuted somehow.

There is a level of creepiness as I try to pry him off. I do not want to be considered responsible as having something to do with his demise. Briefly, it seems I am actually just trying to peel a sticker off the wall rather than a “real” dead and somewhat anthropomorphic mouse.

I decide to hide him inside a toasted cheese sandwich (a common breakfast for me), made by my mother as I am getting ready for school. It is somewhat bitter. No charred remains will be found and questioned about.

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Regardless of the level of creepiness (although comedic to be honest), this is frankly quite possibly one of the silliest waking coalescence events ever experienced for this particular dream type (extreme vividness, primarily in a dark setting with augmented tangibility, but no viable lucidity, apparently through a partial awakening followed by an induction into a false awakening).

My dream self is projected secondarily, downsized as a little mouse (that is not “real” so something is at work that acknowledges I am dreaming but not my direct perspective). He did not make it to the door (waking point). He was “burned up by the fires of whole consciousness” (or reality itself and the subliminal acknowledgement thereof within the dream state). Finally, I eat him to represent the waking stage (waking coalescence; that is, the path into whole consciousness from the dream state, the basic goal of the waking transition in all dreams, always rendered metaphorically other than when it is literal, for example, dreaming of waking up and then actually waking up).

From January 15, 1964. Wednesday.



This is an old recurring dream from around ages three to four.

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I am in a large old house with two floors and a large staircase. Some of the design is based on mahogany constructs or veneer at least. There is a familiar smell, somewhat like cinnamon at times, but later, a lot like that seemingly old but strong unusual wood scent (and for me, very nostalgic) that I used to smell when walking by certain old apartment buildings that had a wooden staircase and with an entrance door open to the public at street level. I only know of two locations in real life where I had caught that special scent in such a perfect way - one of them being the Rose Street apartments - which no longer exist, the other being in an area I only walked by a few times in another part of town.

The house is possibly partly based on Evelyn W’s house in real life (on Tenth Street in La Crosse) which was a place I visited as a young child and picked out “Little Red Feather” (which I have included details about in other entries) to keep, as I was given a choice to take one of the toys inside the large “toy box” (actually a large laundry basket) as my own and I chose a red plastic Native American figure in a kneeling position. I should point out that my wife Zsuzsanna had an imaginary friend called “Little Red Feather” (also as a child) long before we met, which is of course, only one of hundreds of very precise and incredible meaningful “coincidences”.

In my dream, an unknown dark-haired and green-eyed lady comes to the house to give me a toy steam shovel. I am not sure why; I do not think it is for my birthday or for Christmas.

Not much happens in my dream, though there is somewhat of a sense of being isolated at times. I sense the woman is “for” me but I will have to grow up and wait a long time before we meet (and she does not remind me at all of my mother in my dream, who I never saw at this younger age anyway). I remember standing around in the semidarkness at one point, wondering when she would return.

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It seems my wife-to-be (who was not even born yet) is somehow already in my path (or at least the detailed essence as such). There was no question on the appearance. She gave me the steam shovel “to dig or build my path to her”.

Morning of November 3, 1973. Saturday.



This is a long dream that started prior to real-life sunrise, continuing a short time after real-life sunrise, the carport (north through my bedroom windows) being fully illuminated as I woke up with the “I’ll just wake up now” resolved liminal state. As is often the case (recurring dream property, especially from 1969 to 1973), the eerie or threatening aspects of my dream break down or transform and become more mundane as the sun rises in real life - this can be seen in some of my other dreams, including several where bones become branches or picnic forks or a vampire bat becomes a non-threatening moth, etc.

In the first part of my dream, I am aware that it is Halloween night, except for the fact that November second is usually “Halloween” in my dream universe. This is due to a strong influence from the Barbara Steele movie “Castle of Blood” (from 1964). November second was always the “night of the dead” for me, which was actually more dominant than cultural associations with “ordinary” Halloween, though I still “saw” it (and accepted it) as the “real” Halloween.

Act One:

The first part of my dream reveals that a few classmates had been to my house in Cubitis; I assume mainly Tina L, Brenda W, Toby T, and Steve J. I seem to be the only one directly in-dream until near the end, though. The very large antique wooden dining table in the living room, along the middle area of the east side of the house and near the windows in usual view of the backyard (but the curtains are mostly down in-dream) has three areas that display several small skulls made of hard candy, mostly on the left side of the table to my perspective, some on a transparent glass plate of fancy spiral relief patterns, some not. The three sets are of slightly different sizes. Many are of the glow-in-the-dark pale green as of the color of cereal prizes that glow in the dark. A few others are in different pale colors such as Pepto-Bismol pink (recurring dominant color), a pale violet, and a pale yellow - none are white. In the back of my mind is the idea that some of them may be poisonous. I am not sure why people would put poisonous candy on the table (and I am hoping more friends or classmates do not come in and eat them unknowingly), but I get two other associations, one being cough drops in the shape of skulls, the other being skull-shaped vitamins. Therefore, each set of skulls is either candy, cough drops, or vitamins, with perhaps a few poisonous ones in each. I am wary of them all, though, and do not touch any of them.

Act Two:

I go into the hallway with the intent of, I think, going to the bathroom, though I do not recall an actual need to. It may just be a random in-dream wandering. Suddenly, a large hairy bat flies down from the back door area near the ceiling and its face is so close upon reaching me, it would have logically hit my face - but instead - suddenly vanishes. This is rather puzzling. The bat had a grinning gargoyle-like face, almost smiling at me.

Act Three:

As it grows closer to sunrise, I hear dogs barking and snarling. Normally, I am wary of going onto the carport at night (or even early morning) in dreams, but not always. I open the front door and the barking is actually right in the carport. I see several dogs right there just past the doorway and immediately close the door. The dogs continue to bark and growl. After the sun rises, I open the door and Toby T is there and holding a large poster, but beginning to roll it up top to bottom (and which had been completely covering the other side of the doorway) showing dogs in various aggressive positions (a couple of them apparently leaping up towards the viewer), which is exactly what I had seen before. He explains that the sound of the dogs was from a cassette playing on the table on the carport. Thus, what I saw when I opened the door was only the poster. I am somewhat relieved and it was all in good fun, I suppose. I am also aware that the bat, which was fake, was what I myself had set up and forgotten about, triggered by my movement into the hallway and pulling a string with my lower leg, which caused it to fly down from a setup at the end of the hallway.

Act one blends several associations, including the idea that sugar is “bad” for you, and so can vitamins if you take too many (especially, as I understand it - vitamin A, which has the highest toxicity if taken too often). On another note, I never really liked hard candy, which often tasted really bad to me and I could not understand how other people liked it or could even suck on it - horrid fake “cola” or “root beer” taste, fake horrid “citrus” and so on, that also make me cough just having it in my mouth and reminded me of sucking on the opening of a bottle of perfume (though admittedly I had never done that) and sometimes had an overwhelming soap-like taste. The cough drop aspect featured also brings to mind when a teacher at school gave me “candy”, which turned out to be an old cough drop - something I never confronted her on - just thought it was strange. It seemed to also be “warning” me about taking too much Pepto-Bismol, which I did not find out about in real life until much later.

Act two mostly used the association with the opening of the original “Scooby Doo” television series where animated bats fly at the viewer. I also had a toy/fake rubber bat on a string which I ended setting up as in my dream for a bit of amusement.

Act three shows my wariness and fear of dogs in dreams (curiously, which did not reflect real life to any degree) finally beginning to subside a bit as well as showing potential in-dream manipulation - that is, two-dimensional concepts made from what first seemed three-dimensional (the opposite of photo projection), thus a background latent ability to warp dimensions and planes of portals in-dream, almost in the manner of an implied hypercube. This recognition is delivered by my best friend. Toby T was somewhat like a “mirror” more representative of everyman, yet was not really like me at all at higher levels.

Steve J represents conditional love or conditional friendship, almost in an incidental way, due to a childhood “I’ll be your friend if…” or “I’ll continue to be your friend only if…” mentality. Tina L represents a combination of absentminded humorous outlook and incidental or faux snobbery. Her last name was also a play on “linear” (with only the relative accent slightly different in each); that is, a logical western progression in contrast to Brenda W’s (who was the main archetype for my wife-to-be) more “gypsy-like” or “Wendy the Good Little Witch” (but brunette, not blonde) magical persona.

This was a DDR dream I really enjoyed. The MITD (“monster in the doorway” waking transition, which is analogous as the emergent consciousness event) in the “final act” was rendered as just a poster of barking dogs that Toby had put up over the doorway to fool me (with a cassette of barking playing on a table in our carport). Everything was resolved to be part of a practical joke being setup by classmates.

Morning of October 6, 1973. Saturday.



I am fairly certain that there are older versions of this dream but at any rate, it holds a sort of unusual “nostalgia” yet also rather distant, but clearly “fixed” in the “background noise” of my memory. October 6th, 1973 (had missed a couple days of school during the week before this Saturday - flu). I am still in fourth or fifth grade in my dream, yet somehow back in La Crosse, it seems, or some sort of strange composite of La Crosse and Arcadia (Wisconsin and Florida). It is late fall as in reality for the most part. (There is a false memory in my dream that I had the lizard as a pet when much younger while living in Wisconsin. I only had it in Florida when almost a teen.)

I am focused on one thing - trying to recover my lost pet draco volans. The flying lizard could have “flown” off like a bird, perhaps, but I am not fully focused (they cannot actually fly upwards like a bird). It would seem impossible to look under every leaf, of which there are thousands. The streets are mostly deserted. I get the impression it may have somehow been attracted to a fake gumball machine version north of where I am mostly exploring. I do get there, but there is no sign of life of any kind, really. I am only vaguely concerned about missing more school (though my dream was not actually on a school day as implied within my dream. By a strange coincidence, researching a bit more meticulously, I learned that there were eighty-six days left in the year from this date. “Eighty-six” means “getting rid of something”).

There is very mild confusion regarding one of those Chinese fortune-telling fish that can curl up in your hand. I pick it up from near the curb and mourn for Draco. This is not my pet, though. My pet is a live lizard. It barely lasted a week in reality before somehow vanishing into…where? What would a draco lizard think of a Chinese fortune-telling fish? I am alone in my thoughts. I do not even see any cars going about on the streets. I walk by a laundromat. At least one dryer is going but there are no people in there, either. I do not really feel anything threatening about this absence of people in the main part of town.

My flying dragon will probably not return and I am close to accepting this and putting it behind me.

There may be a very loose connection between this and seeing myself as a “prehistoric chameleon” (Florida chameleon - they often came into the house in real life as the larger geckos do where we live now) embedded in a rock (as some sort of fossil) - with a sort of mossy and olive color, which was at the end of a dream where there had been an explosion on the sun - that part of my dream also reflected a strange sort of nostalgia as it flowed into a vivid hypnopompic state.

Morning of September 15, 1973. Saturday.

Dream #: 2,462-02. Reading time: 40 sec.



I am in the living room in Cubitis, at the table in the center of the room. My mother is sitting on the north end, typing a letter to an older relative. My father is working on wall paneling.

A bowl of cereal (with milk) somehow quickly comes down from the ceiling (or through it somehow, although there is no sign of a hole or “portal”). It falls and spills over the tiled floor. My mother expresses annoyance over the disruption of her writing by the inexplicable event. She seems to momentarily but silently blame me. I am also surprised and cannot understand how it happened. It appeared to be falling “from nowhere,” as if in mid-fall just below the ceiling.

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Following are scenes (where I am incorporeal) of moving through several doorways in the ceiling of our house. It seems mazelike. (This is imaginary, as our real ceiling space was not high enough to stand upright. There were no doorways, either.)

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dream type: something coming down

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Morning of September 13, 1973. Thursday.



I first dreamt of the fictional animal - the “cataroo” (long before the Internet and the potential to see that others had thought of it) at this time. In this case, it has the upper half of a cat and the bottom half of a miniature kangaroo (as it is cat-sized here). It has a very special vindication for me, personally. In this first dream of the “cataroo”, it was in a wicker cat cage with a rounded top, the cage facing west, while in the northeast area of the living room, which remains semi-dark throughout my dream - the small carrying cage itself and its precise appearance as in my dream being something that I had never seen or heard of. This was very precise precognition many years ahead, as my wife had one exactly like it when we got together many years later. Also as in my dream, the door broke off eventually.

The cage was, again, visually exact relative to my more distant future and marriage, but the rest of the precognition was a composite of other factors and facets as it often is - my wife was breeding cats at the time I went to her, and she lived in Australia (thus the cat-kangaroo mix), which I had no real-life association with at all as a boy. This is why I have always firstly looked at dreams as a literal combination of past, present, and future (even distant future) and not symbolic in an obscure or totally unrelated sense that so-called dream dictionaries try to promote.

On a lesser note, this night was the first episode of the second season of “The Waltons” television series (the episode “The Journey”, where there is some unusually complex synchronicity, one facet relating to the December 20, 1960 comic strip “Henry”). This is only relative in that the “mystery girl” or “imaginary girlfriend” and I were intimate when it was on in my dream and with Roosevelt I making a gag of the “watching the Waltons while making love” scenario in real-life. Coincidentally (or yet more subtle precognition), a similar gag was used on an actual (sitcom I think) television show a short time later, but I cannot presently recall the name.

Morning of August 18, 1973. Saturday.



I was in what seemed to be some sort of combination of a small library (for students) and a teacher’s office. At one point, it even seems there is an adjoining laundry. There are at least three overcrowded aquariums. The small, rectangular aquariums are each filled with about five or six small or “baby” electric eels and minimal seaweed around the sides. They appear somewhat menacing and are probably annoyed by having little or no space to move around in. I am not sure why they are in the room, as it seems rather an obstacle to a more comfortable reading environment. There also seems to be a possibility of two or more somehow getting into the washing machines in the adjoining room. There seems to be no direct threat at the time. The “electric eels” in this dream were more like small black snakes, with a spinal protrusion or front-to-back fin like a serrated saw blade. People at the time gave warnings about “electric eels” in El Jobean (Florida), but they apparently did not know what they were talking about, as they supposedly only live in freshwater (not brine) and in South America. However, someone my father knew, after this dream, did require medical attention from an encounter with an eel while fishing at El Jobean (or it could have been a type of catfish - people, especially tourists, sometimes got them confused).

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I believe the imagery of this idea that formed a facet of my dream may have originally came from an issue of Mad or Cracked Magazine (possibly from a less significant part of a larger drawing of a differently-themed article) but I do not presently have the reference.

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Morning of July 1, 1973. Sunday.



I find myself peacefully moving through a beautiful marshy area (which I think I chose to “step into” during the slowdown of the hypnagogic state). (Water induction.) Over time, my dream’s original setting is slowly integrated with the West Elementary School’s school grounds (where there were no marshy features and where I am no longer a student in reality). (Critical thinking skills cessation). My dream self is presumed corporeal at times and incorporeal or intangible at other times.

A giant American bittern (composite of premonitory back spasm symbol and anticipatory consciousness shift symbol) is eventually known of (with no discernible backstory) and seen to be present. The bird is about as big as a horse. Mostly while incorporeal, I watch this giant bird stalk a few schoolmates (individually) but there is no attack. Curiously, my schoolmates are seemingly not aware of it even when it is in full view just outside the perimeter of the giant reeds. I do not communicate with my schoolmates at any point. I notice that the marsh features, such as the tall grass, are to the scale of the giant bittern rather than in correct proportion to the school building, school grounds, and banyan tree in the playground.

The giant bittern does not stalk or even focus on me at any time prior to my waking, and in fact becomes more distant in the final moments. The school grounds become less marshy throughout. (Water lowering as dream cessation metaphor.)

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The lower back spasm waking event was hardly noticeable. It appears that I had a certain level of subliminal control over the metaphorical waking transition and my lower back muscles, as I was not directly jabbed by the bird’s beak (as the waking prompt) as I had vaguely anticipated. There was no point where I was actively lucid. The bittern association came from a pocket book field guide to North American birds, which I had since I was very young.

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Morning of May 20, 1973. Sunday.



I am in the Cubitis living room seemingly late at night. I am aware that there may be someone on the carport. Unlike a number of other dreams, I am not wary about answering the door this late at night.

Going near the door, it seems to open on its own. Looking out into the semidarkness, I see an unusual man who looks more like an artificial form, somewhat cartoon-like but also like a statue. He is holding some sort of lantern with his right hand, at about head level. To his left is an unusual unmoving dog, also which looks like a statue or artificial structure of some kind. I continue to gaze at the sight, the forms not moving but holding a comedic essence.

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When I went to Disney World later on in real life, taken by my sister Marilyn and her husband, a completely unexpected event, imagine my surprise when we went on the Haunted Mansion ride and this imagery was identical to what was seen on part of the ride. I had certainly never seen it before (other than in my dream) and I had never been to Disney World before. In fact, I told a random classmate that I was “going to Disney World” that summer even though I “knew” I was not (and I had said nothing like this to anyone else). How was I to know that my relatives would just happen to come down from Wisconsin and that my brother-in-law would just happen to ask me one morning if I “wanted to go to Disney World”?

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Morning of May 6, 1973. Sunday.

Dream #: 2,330-03. Reading time: 40 sec.



Features of this dream (stemming from vestibular modulation) have occurred many other times, the setting a variation of the playground in Florida from my elementary school. In this dream, it is at least four times bigger. As is typical, there seem to be random members of the public in addition to the students and teachers. I wander around and notice more features than in the real playground. There is a slide (about half the height of the real one) that is almost vertical. I climb its ladder and notice a few classmates carelessly hanging off the sides near the top. I do not feel like going down the “slide” and somehow get off the feature without doing anything physical, perhaps teleporting to the ground, to find myself walking farther south without incident. I do not attempt to use any other playground equipment. I watch from a distance. One feature resembles the monkey bars from the real playground but with a crow’s-nest at the top that seems precarious.

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Morning of March 24, 1973. Saturday.



I am standing on a large red “flying carpet” (vaguely associated with the saying “rolling out the red carpet” while in my dream) with golden tassels. I am with the adult son and daughter of Lucille Ball; Desi Arnaz, Jr. and Lucie Arnaz. (Lucille Ball seems vaguely present at times, but this is more like a dream within a dream.) Everything is seemingly going well at first. The flying carpet has an additional part that is like a large pillow on one end. We mostly stand as we ride on it high in the sky, mostly going west in my dream. In the end, the magic carpet must be left behind, as it somehow gets stuck in the ground or between rocks near a parking lot of a shopping mall (which seems to be an area of the school grounds by way of real life association). I see a diagram that is like some sort of X-ray view of how it is partly oriented within the ground, including orientation relative to the direction it was going at the time (south), and with technical notes on how it ended up there.

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This dream is a result of typical dream state autosymbolism by way of vestibular system correlation. Of course, the song “Magic Carpet Ride” is a dream induction influence (especially as its first line is “I like to dream”). It also takes on the dream state indicator analogy of being like a bed. A parking lot is dream state autosymbolism that represents the physical body being inactive in sleep.

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I explain this dream type further in “Dreams of Type PRECONAV-VSCPCEL, 01-15”.

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