non-lucid

Night 3, Dream 3

It's late at night, around 23:15 - I can see this on a wall clock. With some other people, I walk into a warehouse, where we're going to build or do something. The warehouse closes at midnight and I'm worried we don't have enough time. The warehouse is accessed from behind, then down an open passage between crates or walls and past a guard.

Night 3, Dream 4

I'm walking through an underground facility like Half-Life's, and throwing objects around with the Gravity Gun.

Night 5, Dream 5

I'm at an airport check-in desk in Greece with other people when I realize that two of three bags are missing. I walk out of the building to look for them, panic and wake up.

Night 6

[forgot all dreams]

TOTAL: 1.5 POINTS (3 fragments)

Get a hot streak of lucidity > Have confidence > Go on a dry spell > Repeat


What is so irritating about lucid dreaming it that it isn't a linear progression like fitness or a mastery of any other skill. The success rate is so random and inconsistent that it feels like I am wasting my time. At this point, I should be a master of lucid dreaming because I have been writing, thinking and acting on it for about 7 years now. Anyway, I had a dream about my old private school; a place that I had not been to in over 10 years yet it has been a recurring dream scene.

It was the end of the school year, we were finishing up taking final exams and I thinking about how I was bored and wish I had brought my laptop - the one I am typing on right now.

If I can understand the root cause of why dreams are incubated and successfully control that root, lucid dreaming should be a piece of cake. What is it, memories? Expectations? Things which I have been mindlessly engaged in? Or how about things that I have been mindfully engaged in like a show that has resonated with me? Both the latter and the former have occurred inside my dreams.

Right now? I am actively engaged in writing this journal entry. So much so, I was not aware of the fellow opening a bag of chips behind me until I started paying attention. My thoughts are reading these words aloud so my mind's hearing is also engaged in this.

Instead of a mindless repetition, why don't I give a mental speech about lucid dreaming inside my head as I fall asleep instead of a mantra. Sure that is a billion different words more than a simple mantra repeated indefinitely, but as long as a the main idea of "Have a lucid dream" is a recurring, I should have no problem smuggling that idea into the dream world.

Mantras have never worked.

Maybe I need to slow it down too; give my mind time be passively engaged as to let me fall asleep and seamlessly transition into the dream world.

Had to wake up and do something urgently, so I couldn't recall too much. Also had a WBTB try at about 02:41.

Trying to form new habits. First start developing an habit on meditation: zazen and theravada meditation. After this is established i will try to keep mindfulness for the rest of the day (everyday), which will be supported by ADA and self-awareness. I will take this as seriously as i can.

I dreamt many events last night, so i will post the fragments here:

• My mother throws flour on me. We weren't at home, but at a place we were staying... It was uncertain for how long, and the place wasn't ours.
• I go to the bathrooms to take a shower. It was a big room (I think it was located where the primary bathrooms of my college were). There were toilet boxes in the wall in front of the door. To the left side of the door there were like 4 sinks. Some steps more and there was like an empty space in the middle where all the showers were together (like 6) [For description: it was like the gas rooms of WWII where german prisioners walked in for a "collective shower", but this was a shower for real...]. There was nobody in the showers so i decided i would take one myself, but i notice that it was reserved by Obama. After realizing this i see him, fully dressed. I realize that he was on Argentina, and on this school, but i wasn't surprised or anything. I start seeing that more people come in the bathroom, some going to the toilets, some going to the sinks, so i decide that i do not need a shower anymore and i go outside.
• Outside the bathroom there was an event going on, like a festival. The lights shut down and everything is dark. I stay for a while without seeing until some lights come again. I see some kids climbing in some desks, away of this event, so i go to help them. A girl was having trouble to come down, so i hold the desk and the chair and i tell her to climb on me. She nervously did and was safe.
• After that i dreamt something else that is not connected to the previous dreams. I was in a jail, not inside a cell, but where police officers should be. Well, there was no police apparently, many dangerous guys on cells and one drunk bald guy coming in and out of the cells. He had a beer glass and every time it ran out of beer he went in the cells to refill it. He asked me if i wanted to drink, of course i said no (it was home made alcohol..., and who knows what it had inside, besides i didn't want to drink any alcohol at all). After the third, fourth drink he started puring the drink in my head, since he was standing and i was lying on the floor. I wanted to do something about it, but at the same time i thought that he could easily open the cells and all the others would come out and that wouldn't be good (although there was an axe in the floor, beside the drunk man. He looked like Flea of RHCP). However i think i questioned why i couldn't get out of that place (i was waiting for the guy in charge there, so when he leaves i would go with him, but i questioned why i had to do that).
• Then i dream about the future and my family. Apparently the economic measures of this country aren't doing any good to the economics of the members of my family, so each time they are poorer. I dreamt something that supposedly happens about 6 months or a year from now. My aunt from my mother has no electricity on her house anymore, she can't pay the bills anymore and apparently she will loose her house. She barely has anything to eat because there's no work. However we were reunited with the rest of my mom's family, and we were enjoying the moment. My grandfather gave me some pens (blue and green), we were standing on a roof and the place was wide. We could have jumped through roofs (i think there was a big tree with vines, that's why the place felt wide).
• Then i find myself experimenting in a swamp. I had like 2 repelents on water, which repeled some monsters. Those monsters were like dolphins with heads of human and teeth of sharks. If those things caught you, you definitely were dead. But i was on water, proximate to 2 of them, and they couldn't touch me, because of this "net" that repelled them. A group came by with my father in it and i think i showed this to them. First i showed the monsters, and they showed how dangerous they were, and then i showed this device. After that we caught one of these monsters and we chop its head off (it was cruel but that's the decision we took as a group (very stupid to take decisions as groups)). Anyhow she was still alive and with those fierce teeth. Somehow the repellent blanket gets moved, my father didn't notice this and he stomps right on her mouth. Of course the blonde monster head ate his foot. He was asking me to come back, like coming back in time, to the part we were in the swamp. I checked if i could do this and i asked a partner there if he could, but both couldn't. There were 2 options. Going back in time (i was trying CTRL + Z, but i didn't have the keys... i should get away from PC for a while), or deal with this, accept it and start moving on. (This things happens, and even though one doesn't like it, it is of no use to regret or lament, so i try not to from the very beginning).
• Then i was left with the head alone for a while, while the group did other things. Of course i was watching it, and i noticed that it was coming to me (like rolling down). So i grabbed it by the hair and i throwed it up where it belonged again. It didn't stay, it came down again to me, so i grabbed it again and throwed it again. It did the same, but at this time i was already angry. Angry and cruel apparently, because i grabbed the head and started hitting it in the wall. After i was done i throwed it where it belonged and it stayed there, but i think the monster was dead by now...

Review:

I liked the part where i just met Obama and didn't care at all, and walked outside that place which was of no use to me anymore.
I liked the part where i helped the little girl.
I would have liked to question myself about the situation a little more, to avoid uncomfortable situations. Also i would like to develop more the skill of observation.
I didn't like the group decisions. Probably it was because my father was there, but since im old enough now i have to take leadership on myself. I will start to be more responsible for myself.
I didn't like the cruelty of chopping of the head of that swamp monster. It doens't matter if it is evil or not, i don't have any right for doing that, and if i do it is a false right since kamma doesn't work that way. I recognize i was cruel, so if i acted cruel something related to that will come up as result.
I didn't like the moment of perplexity where i saw my father lost his foot. Either i accept it or i do something about it, but at that moment i was stiff.
I didnt like the anger and cruelty that i took on that head. I acted based on that qualities of the mind, and i felt like no control. I should have felt with control, and i had discernment i probably could have stopped, but i didn't. I hope to diminish anger, erradicate cruelty, be mindful even in moments i forget, and develop discernment (with observance and questioning).

Other:

I was navigating through internet, looking for an avatar image. I saw an image on a geiser i had on site before and i decided to change it. I thought about looking for something related to fire, because of Zodiac (although i don't believe on it). However a couple days before (30th July) we talked about how "Ofiuco" changed the signs. So I recalled i was actually Piscis (water) instead of Aries (fire). And i realized that although i like fire i probably feel more at ease with water. So i looked for Piscis and in the images i saw, i saw sirens (the monsters of the swamp were actually sirens, but there were male as well and neither gender were beautiful). After seeing this i decided to write down the dreams of last night.

Created Thursday 04 August 2016

Spellbee's Summer Lucid Competition 2016 - Entry 6

Not many dreams recalled today, just a fragment before 7AM, another during a WILD attempt later on, and a related DILD after that. The last two are... a bit embarrassing for me to post, but for the sake of the competition...

Scrap Group 1
Watching various shows along with my brother, Tito. One was Ultimate Spiderman, which had the title character fighting off against a winged hybrid of Carnage and Venom. Another was an Attack on Titan-esque show set in present-day. Rewinded and fast forward-ed the clips various times.

Several fragments revolving around my dream guide, E. In one of these, I'm making a cake for her in bed (somehow), and ask her to get me some milk. She... uh, squeezes me an entire bowl's worth of her breastmilk... Definitely not what I had in mind... A similar scenario plays out later, save that we were in a vehicle parked in a run down urban environment. Cue the next dream.

Dream 1 - Oh, Behave!

The visuals were very dim. I was laying down in the void. E was reclining next to me in the form of a nude,~20ft tall, plump giantess, her figure mildly glowing in a blue aura. I was aware of the dream.

At a wild impulse, I... suckled on her, just to see how that milk tasted. She was not amused in the least. In retribution, E thrashed me around, first by repeatedly slamming me head first in a non-existant hard floor, then by squeezing the air out of me, and later biting and shaking me around by my right shoulder. As a grim finale, she holds me down to gnaw on the same shoulder, literally licking my wounds as she did. Despite all the violent motions, impacts, and torn flesh, there was no pain in any of this. Didn't make it any less startling...

I awaken immediately afterwards.

Too many to count. At one point I was fighting a boss. He used a booming voice, but I slayed him.

Off today, so slept from 9pmish last night till 6:30am today.

Recall one long dream.

DR 6:30am
I have practiced flying for a long time. I jump up in the air and when coming down, I'm trying to slow down my descent and feel how air under my feet is getting denser. (this is the sense I'm getting in a dream)

I jumo up and when coming down, I stop descending maybe half a foot above ground. It feels like standing on a magnet with pole that pushes me away.

I do it a few time and the feeling is amazing. I show this to some kids and they show it to their parents. They grab my arm and pull me horizontally through the air.

It's interesting that every time I jump and then I get to the top point of the jump I stop my descend with power of my mind.

I used to take flight like this as a child in my dreams. I jumped up and started flapping my arm, pushing hard against the air under my hands. I did this few times, till the air under my flapping arms felt much thicker and was able to keep me in the air.

I kinda wanna try it right now, haha.

Dream 1 - Family
I remember walking to work along the main road in town, it must have been after my lunch break or something. I saw across the road my ex and our kid, she was shopping for underwear with her sister. I shouted out to her and crossed the road, surprised and happy to see them. For some reason we decided to try on some underwear, it doesn't seem weird at first that we're outside.. but then I guess we realize where we are and go inside the underwear shop to change back to our normal clothes.

Dream 2 - Water challenge
I was outside a house in a forested area resembling the looks that most of the houses have near where I use to live. There's a pool nearby and I'm someone challenged me to breathe underwater for 15 minutes (it was part of some kind of genies' trick, a small part of a larger competition I think..). I pay attention to what he says, specifically that the words 'breathe underwater' which I realized meant that I should be literally breathing while under the surface of the water... I fill up a water bottle and for some reason get confused >_> I had an idea in my head for how to breathe underwater except fucked it up. I then empty the bottle, make a hole in the bottle and somehow fashion it into a snorkel. Wallah! I can't remember if I got to use it but I know I passed, I ended up running off down the driveway to whatever else I was meant to be doing, but then my alarm went off.

3 pts - 3 non-lucids
4 pts- interacting with dc's
2 pts- Wbtb
5 pts eat something (cherry icies)
= 14 pts

Goals: Three Step:
1.Advanced Flying
2.Element Manipulation
3.Mass Telekinesis

New Dream goal: Go to the moon
Old Dream goal: Go to my dream house

D1: partial Non-lucid- I was in Wal-Mart & I won a trip to somewhere but the dream didn't go much of anywhere else do to the WBTB method. I hate it when that interrupts a dream. So it was only a partial.

D2: Non-lucid- WBTB method. I was in a game, kind of like Big Brother but different. Maybe if you cross bred that with American Ninja Warrior & had teams. It was a dream so I guess it doesn't matter, I just wish I could explain stuff better sometimes. Anyway. We were doing physical competitions in teams not as individuals. This was a little drawn out & boring in my opinion. Until I find out that someone had rigged the contest so no matter how hard we were all trying, in the end we couldn't possibly win. We were all really mad. Someone was lying in wait in a corn field & jumped out & got ahead of us. Hence the cheating rigged part.

D3: Non=lucid- I was working at convenience store at night. So when I entered the dream it reminded me of when a zoom lens comes in for the shot from a high level, not like I walked into the store. I thought that was really weird. People were coming in & out a lot because of these amazing icies. Cherry icies to be more precise. I was trying to keep people from stealing them because it was just me & another guy working there. I eventually stole one for myself in resignation & drank it. It was weird also that there was another counter in there like a soda shop but also the help yourself stations for the drinks like a normal convenient store so I was running around that stupid counter a lot.

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown
Competition Notes-Teal

3/8/16
Dream 1: I was doing some research in books and online on what Marxists believed and how to approach them and beat them in an argument.

Fragment: Playing elder scrolls legends, maybe teaching someone.

Dream 2: I was at a Disney World style park on a monorail ride. We slowly came into the park and then made a slow revolution around this huge castle tower which was surrounded by water. After this we stopped and had some dinner with the other people in the car.

Dream 3: I was at one of my little brother's football games. My dad had given me a green football which I was supposed to give to my brother but I forgot and deflated it instead. At half time he came over and was angry so I fixed it up and gave it over.

Dream 4: I was trying to find 7 different people around a sort of fairground. They were spread all over the place and if I found them in time I would win some prize. I think I found 5 or 6, including one in the water and one in a basement of a shop, but I ran out of time.

Dream 5: I was trying to get a bunch of people's signatures to prove that I was responsible enough to own a mobile phone. I needed one more and went to this old woman, however I made a bad first impression and she only gave her signature after I grovelled.

1/8/16
Dream 1: I was chained up while giving a lecture about the human anatomy. I think my anatomy was different from normal so I was being used as an example of sorts.

31/7/16
Dream 1: I was playing with some poor kid in a simulation of some kind. I was sharing my toys and stuff with him and the results were being noted down by researchers.

Fragment: Helping my parents with something

30/7/16
Dream 1: I was at a new house moving in. My brother had some sort of free room service somehow, so I went with him and got a radio thing delivered. We then got a fantasy movie and some wine and watched it while drinking.

Dream 2: I was a theme park or something similar. I went on a water slide and then lined up to go inside a building of some sort. I'm pretty sure I flew home superman style.

Dream 3: I was driving around in a car with an old retired baseball player. He was talking about his career and how he stays out of the spotlight now that he had retired.

Dream 4: I had moved into a new house and found a vault filled with gold. To get it I had to defeat some sort of demonic manifestation, which I succeeded. I then read a horrible history book and then a newspaper article detailing a guide to dieting and exercise for a new year.

Dream 5: There was some big protest over an Islamic tv show segment. It started off with a petition signed by 5000 people, but it quickly grew to half a million people. The courts were investigating but it looked like they wouldn't press any charges.

Fragment: Almost in a car crash.

Fragment: Asking my brother about a mouse.

29/7/16
Dream 1: I was playing Wizard101 in some sort of new, snowy world. I was trying to get some cool quest there but it turned out I needed to go visit certain places in every single other world before I would be able to get it. I then went to a sort of ancient Greek world and tried to get the golden fleece. The sound started being funny, coming out even when I turned it off.

Dream 2: I was making a small electric circuit with somebody else. I chop up bits and pieces of it to make it as small as possible. Because of this I won some competition and got rewarded with food and certificates.

Fragment: Being at school.

28/7/16
Dream 1: I was taking a bus to my mum's house, however I got off a bit late so had to walk a bit to get there. Once there she made me join her in some dance choreography which was being livestreamed to some of our family and friends.

Dream 2: There was some sort of apocalyptic event and the city was being destroyed. Because of this I was walking around the city, savouring the sights for the last time. I was also listening to some of my favourite music and sharing it with others.

Dream 3: I was at my mum's old house, doing some maths homework in my room. After a while my dad came into the room to see what I was doing. As he left I grew suspicious and did a hand check RC and discovered I was dreaming! To double check I pushed my finger through my hand, which succeeded. My vision started to go and I felt my body tingling a lot, so I thought I was going to wake up and tried to save the dream by touching my body. I then shot some lightning out of my hand, but it didn't seem like anything was working. As an act of desperation I tried to fall asleep in the dream again, for some reason, and this caused a FA.

FA (Dream 4): I woke up and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a brown-grey fuzz on my chest. I started touching it and realised I had sprouted super thick chest hair all over, sort of like sheep wool lol. I also had bigger muscles and a bit of a bear, so it was kinda like what I would look like in 5 years I guess.