side notes

Night 2

Fragment:

…/we’re sitting on the table, possibly having dinner or some. It’s night and it’s a very narrow place. The table looks like theirs but smaller. I’m sitting in front of J, E sits to her right. I’m telling some story about somebody else who I think it’s J. I get confused because if that person’s name was J. I don’t remember what’s J’s name then. It’s an embarrassing situation. I feel very confused/…

WBTB

NL fragments

…/it’s a known dreamscape inside a sort of school. To this side, the rooms are connected to each other with a door on the corner. Every room has only two doors except for the last one that has only one. It’s more than five rooms in a row. We get to the last one with a group of friends from school. I see JG, W and O among others. We’re sitting on the places. The classroom is dark. Somebody comes to tell us we must leave for some reason. Possibly the same reparations that are taking place at home in WL. Maybe it’s was just the time to close the school because it’s late. Not sure about it. This dreamland has a lot of branches around and inside this school. Everybody starts picking their jackets hanging on the chairs and stuff put all around. We are in a hurry/…

…/we’re traveling around the city like we were on a roller coaster. We make a big open turn to the left. I start talking using a friend’s particular voice accent, making fun of it. I realize I don’t know much about him since long ago. I turn to my right to ask E what happened with CH. He clarifies CH has gone to sleep. He couldn’t go along with his illnesses, operations and stuff. I get uncomfortable knowing many people from that time of my life is gone. It feels weird to know he’s gone/…

…/the same works that are taking place at my place in WL and get more complicated. I see one of the guys carrying a Tupperware that I specially interacted with the day before, filled with electronics or some similar stuff/…

There were some other details of this last fragment that I was recalling before I noticed I wasn’t using the voice recorder. Lost them :/

Ambulance brain fart
I was with two people, and they were my friends, I can't remember who they were. One of them got severely injured and we called for an ambulance. Sitting in our vehicle waiting I realized that we were in an ambulance and could just take him to the hospital ourselves. Our injured friend was now in a bucket, and we took him around to the back of the ambulance to see if we could treat him there or something. I had no idea what we were looking at as the ambulance we called for arrived. "How are we going to explain this..."

Mom and Dad's pistachios and debt
*This was a scene from a longer dream and before this point I remember eating some pistachios from an enormous bag*

Walking down the hallway to the kitchen for some more pistachios I notice a bag of Stacy's salt (This is a recurring imaginary product from Stacy's pita chips) I turn it around and see they used shitake mushrooms. "yuck" I put it back down, continuing to walk to the kitchen.



As I arrive in the kitchen I find the pistachios, but there's even more gigantic bags of them and they're a different flavor than the ones I was eating before.



Instead of eating them I started thinking about how expensive this must be.
A cut scene of my mom and dad's bank statements and purchase history started to play. There was a narrator explaining that the reason they were spending so much is because they were going to die soon.

I started wondering how credit card companies deal with this.

Dark YouTube video
I remember seeing many thumbnails of a man wearing a plague doctors mask, I clicked on one of his videos to watch.
The Youtuber started to explain how he captured another Youtuber, the scene cuts to him and the other Youtuber fighting, the plague doctor guy bashes the other guy in the head, knocking him out.
It cuts back to the plague doctor guy and I can now see the other youtuber in the video, suddenly I'm in a first person perspective of the plague doctor guy and I can see him wondering his house looking for a container large enough to hold some type of chemical to dissolve the other Youtuber.
"This is insane, how is this on Youtube." I think
Most of the containers he found are too small or have holes on the bottom of them. He grabs a small container with the intent to dissolve the other youtubers body parts one by one.
"This is torcher, just kill him!" I think as the dream ends.

*The guy I was dreaming about was probably PlagueDocPlays, he does skits where he pretends to be a serial killer sometimes*

*I'm going to bed with the intent to watch a YouTube video in a lucid dream, but it seems to be leaking into my regular dreams. This wasn't too disturbing to me, but this was the first time I had a dream that dark.*

Nether escape
*This is also just a scene from a larger dream, before this point I remember going to the nether and building across a large lava lake.*
I was travelling around the nether with a friend when suddenly we began to levitate.
"There's no way we can make it back to the portal!" my friend said floating to the ceiling of the small cave we were in. I hit the ceiling soon after, I was trying to brainstorm how to get across when it hit me, I could grab the floor and crawl my way down to the bridge I made earlier, and if I can get below the bridge I can use it to stop me from floating all the way up and travel across.
"That will never work!" a disembodied voice shouted, it wasn't from my friend, but it was a third person from outside the game."
Unbothered I continue with the plan and make it all the way down to the bridge I made. I destroy a few blocks, clearing the pathway to the bottom of the bridge when suddenly many of the blocks I'm standing on turn into entities, much like an activated TNT block, allowing lava to flow into them. "I have to hurry." I begin floating under the bridge as fast as I can, it now looks like I'm in a long hallway, lava is to my left and right getting ready to flow but I don't hesitate and continue onward. I see the end of the hallway and there's a water elevator, I get inside the elevator and when I look up the water looks super realistic compared to the blocks, it forms a whirlpool, and it pulls me all the way back up.

*This is a water elevator*


I make it to the top and I'm now in control of the levitation. "I knew it would work" I was telling my friend who was Infront of me now. I began flying up and down in a circle to show off and landed straight on my neck, I was okay and started doing better circles.

Note: It seems that Minecraft is taking over my dreams, maybe it's because I'm writing about them.

Fragment:

I was trying to watch YouTube with my dad next to me and one of the video's as I was scrolling had an explicate thumbnail which infuriated my dad, I tried explaining to him I don't control what appears in the recommended.

*a lot of story happened before this point, everything was non-lucid*

I was with my brother and we found a sunken pyramid in a lake. He jumped into the water swimming around it. "Come on in!" he pleed. I reluctantly jumped into the water noticing that it was very cold. We started having a contest to see who could hold their breath underwater the longest. I used my toes to grip the edge of the pyramid to pull me under the water, going deeper and deeper until I could see the underside of the pyramid, it was floating and I could see a entrance at the bottom.



I swam back up to the surface to tell my brother about what I found, I let him know I was going to go inside. I swam back down to the bottom and entered the pyramid, Suddenly the theme turned into Minecraft, everything was blocky. Looking around I noticed a lot of hostile mobs and a place I could jump too to escape the mobs.



Now running towards the safe spot I was taking a lot damage from the mobs, closer and closer I was getting but it wasn't enough. I could see my health bar go to zero and everything froze as a yellow tint overlayed my vision.

I heard the voice of a women, she seemed to be some sort of mastermind. "I planned for my daughter to explore the pyramid and die."
The scene changed showing her face.



I could sense there was a larger story taking place as I woke up.
*Thought it was strange the lady called me her daughter, I'm a guy*

Note: A fair bit of my dreams tend to end with them transitioning to the middle of a larger story taking place where they are aware of the dream that just happened. Even though while I'm dreaming it feels like a continuous story, I can never seem to remember it when I wake up.

Color code
Non-lucid/Notes
semi-lucid
lucid

I used wild to enter the dream.

I felt my body floating as I transitioned into sleep, it felt like I was floating upward as visuals started to appear, it was Minecraft again. The terrain was unnatural and there were layers of floating land masses that were built using a single layer of dirt at various heights.





There was an unrecognizable song playing as I was floating, I couldn't control the melody, but I was in control of the vocals. It was euphoric. "I will remain calm" I injected into the song's lyrics. I didn't want to wake up from excitement.

I landed on one the highest floating blocks and began running forward, jumping to new blocks I looked down and could see my legs, they looked like my normal legs I noticed. I could feel my excitement growing as I continued running. I wanted to calm down a bit more, so I decided to turn around and see what was there.

As soon as I did though, everything went black, and I could now feel body hallucinations as I became aware of my body. I opened my eyes and could see through my eyes as I was lying in bed and couldn't move, I thought this was a false awakening because the light was on in my room and I left it off, I was still disturbed because I couldn't move and closed my eyes again to finally wake up.


Note: I need to stop derailing my dreams before they become grounded.

Steady Jamie dreams. Holy.

Tuesday night: Asuka spoke up as a voice in my head (she's been quiet for years, except for occasionally grumbling at Jamie.) , asking if she should double check on Jamie. I'm like, "Ya! Do something funny so we both remember something."

80's

A flash of being in a living room. Asuka walks Jamie in and Jamie has this crazy 80's hair with the messy waves and big hairspray. They are both smiling like it's funny.

really?


I'm in the black space, Jamie is holding me tightly and talking all serious with me but loving. It sounds like she is saying she wants something really serious with me, but I can't remember the exact words. Is that so? Well, I'm all for it. I just hope she's clear with me next time on, Goals, Labels, and intentions.

Wed night:

Various flashes of Jamie but the are so quick, not even a fraction of a second long.

Frogs

Somewhat vivid non lucid. It's night time and outside, I'm by my dream house. There's a funny slide I fly up to and go down. One time I came off the slide and there's these Giant black frogs with black spots. They are HUGE, like medium sized dogs. I go on the slide a bunch of times and the dream fades.

Yes

A love-making dream with Jamie. It was really tender is all I'll say. I both felt it and had a 3rd person perspective on it.

ew

I walk into a garage where Jamie is she is sorting recycling and looks grossed out. Dream fades right away. Is Asuka making her do chores again?

Last night:

Upset

I'm going to a group meetup of people that worked at Wal-Mart when Jamie was there. There's an open field. Jessica and Tanner are there. They kind of ignore me. Jamie walks up and says, "Hey everybody." While sort of looking around at us, but she never makes eye contact with me. They freeze her out too and then she storms off. I spend the rest of the dream wandering around and wondering why Jamie never said , "Hello," to me directly and why did she storm off? I took it too personally and I started getting intense feelings and almost started crying.

I woke up and realized, it was her intense feelings of getting fozen out that transferred to me, causing myself to not properly asses the situation, making it all about her. In the dream, since I wasn't really saying anything (I always get nervous around her unless she says something to me) so she was seeing me as part of the group that was freezing her out. I guess I have to be prepared for situations like these. My goal would be to listen to her and validate her feelings about the situation, but since being seen as part of the group I wasn't even given a chance to. I know all too well how feelings of worthlessness can EDIT what you are seeing in reality. I have posts on this forum from years ago, where I'm intensely arguing with someone over what I think they said. and I go back and read and they didn't say it at all. That's why I liked working Mcdonald's is because it forced me to really work with people. I used to get upset at someone if they looked at me the wrong way, or said something mean. And I would either rage at them or rage in my mind. But then I started stepping out of that mentally and really looking at things and thinking, "Maybe they are just being sarcastic," or, "Maybe they are just having a bad day. Then after a while, I become the sarcastic, funny guy that doesn't take things too seriously.

Still upset

I go back to Jamie's house and find she's locked herself in a bathroom with a giant fancy door. I can't get in to talk to her, then the dream ends. I hope she's okay.

Color code
Non-lucid
semi-lucid
lucid

*There was a lot of dream story I can't remember before this point*


My mom was driving her van as she answered her ringing phone. It was from a lady at a school, they were talking for a bit when the lady realized that my mom was driving while talking.
"You shouldn't be talking on the phone while driving!" The lady hung the phone up.

*Some stuff happened after this and somehow, I ended up driving the van, trying to bring it back to my parents' home*

I began to approach a drawbridge; it was only wide enough for one vehicle at a time. There were three semi trucks driving down it, as soon as one exited I drove onto the bridge despite the fact that it was too narrow. Alarms stared to sound and I stopped to put the van in park. The bridge deck started to lift up allowing a boat to pass under. As the bridge deck lowered I could see that the two semi trucks were still coming, I pulled off onto a pocket to allow them to pass me.

After parking the van on the pocket I could now see there was no way to drive the van over to the other side of the bridge. Now walking down the bridge I was met with a fence that I couldn't get over. I noticed a trap door and I thought I could probably pick the lock to get inside of it.

"Hold on my friend I got the key" I heard from behind, looking up I see that it's Cruz.
*he works for the general contractor at the job I'm currently at.*
"It's okay I can pick the lock" I reassure him. He ignores me and tries to hand me the key put drops it into a container of glue. "All the more reason for me to pick the lock" I think to myself. Undeterred he picks the key up and opens the trap door anyway.

I climb down the trap door and somehow end up in my parents backyard walking up to the home with two other people. "Oh no, I left the van behind" I remember.

"Well this is just a dream so I can just imagine driving the car to bring it back here" I think to myself now closing my eyes. Everything is now dark with some swirling noise in the background. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I'm trying to imagine it I can't seem to see it, I can't even feel that thought to make any sense. It's as if my will is being suppressed by the expectations of the dreams logic. I open my eyes and see that I'm still walking with the two men up to the house.

We were right outside the house now, the two men set up a latter to climb up to the roof. They pull one of the shingles back to reveal that there was no tar sealing them in. "We're going to have to take down all of the shingles and reseal everything", After they said that I could now see my dad, he had an embarrassment look on his face, as if he should have known about this.

Note: This was the second time that I could remember where my dream self knew I was in a dream but I wasn't fully lucid.

This will be a shorter entry. Had trouble sleeping lately due to shitty sleeping arrangements where I live. Apperently I was right. I had to call on Raven again to help with Jamie. She fought of some guy who looked like freddy kreuger. That seems in line with what I remember about someone wearing a large hat.

I had a couple non lucids that I can't remember.

Demons

Fell asleep talking to the Jamie voice... instead of the usual Jamie in a black space where the conversation continues. There's a big fat Demon pertending to be Jamie. I wake up and fall asleep again, this time it's a skinny demon, saying the things that apparently Jamie is saying. Well, great. And yes I have prayed obsessively about these voices. and of course "Jesus," responds as a voice in my head. That's always trustworthy! But according to Him, We may be hearing one another's thoughts. Be careful to speak to it however, other things may be listening... and also might respond. In either case I'll try my best not to respond overly emotionally to it, or take it "too," seriously. I like how, when I pray for Jamie, I occasionally hear a, "Thank you." from her, as if she somehow hears me. That's always re assuring (No sarcasm).

School

Me and Jamie are both attending a high-school together. A class or school has ended and I'm in a hallway by a bunch of lockers and a bunch of students are in my view. I notice Jamie talking to a blond girl pretty sternly. Jamie leaves the girl and walks through the crowd. she then takes my hand and we walk away. Before I turn, I notice the blond girl is giving me and Jamie some really evil side-eye. I guess I'm back with my girlfriend... or dream girlfriend. (please send help.)

Last night: Had a really long non lucid. No jamie. Can't remember what the dream was about. A bunch of people in a large warehouse or something, and I was also doing drywall work. Bleh, not really worth remembering anyway.

Battle

There was an anime battle between a villain and a hero. The hero was saying something about how much more powerful he got. The hero jumped up into the air then the villain threw a strange disk at him. The hero began blocking with a mop he used for a weapon, he couldn't stop blocking the attack or he would die.

Unsecured cardboard

I had stack of cardboard on the top of a car and my brother was telling me it wasnt secure to drive, to prove him wrong i started backing up, the cardboard fell off.

middle of nowhere starbucks

My mom wanted to go to a starbucks, living in the middle of nowhere i decided to see where the closest was. I opened google maps and found that there was one within walking distance from her home. (I was surprised at how far development was coming along)

mom making coffee

Just before waking up i heard my brother making a pot of coffee, in my dream my mom was making coffee and i was questioning why she was making it if i made coffee yesterday.

Note: most of these dreams had a very long and strange story line. I need to get better at remembering these.

First night I just had dreams that Jamie found a girlfriend. I always knew she liked both, not going to judge.I have some borderline traits myself, being unsure of your sexuality is a given. I did find these dreams a little distressing. In these dreams it seems I am watching them from a distance, and not a participant.

Next night.

another flash of Jamie being with a girl, but this time I can see them having sex... Honestly I don't know why I dream these things and sometimes loathe the connection. (When she moved in 2011, I first had a dream she was sleeping with some guy but wasn't feeling it. Then I dreamed she was sleeping with a woman, a few days later she switched her orientation status on FB. You gotta realize I'm not trying to spy, these things just come to me and sometimes I wish they wouldn't)

Captured

Just a flash of me and Jamie in a western setting. Some big guy in a cowboy hat captured us and we are ties and gagged by a fence. Jamie looks my way in distress.

Last night

Looking

I was in a crowd at night time and noticed Jamie in the crowd looking at me.

Silence

I get a job at a newly opened seafood restaurant. I'm in orientation with a group of people. Jamie is in the group, as well as some other pretty girl with crazy braids. Jamie doesn't look at me at all, but keeps lingering by. I'm drinking a soda pop from a glass bottle. The top somehow breaks. I go to the sink area to clean it up. Jamie follows me, or is doing something in the same area. She's really silent, but lingering by. I find the silence really uncomfortable as I try to clean up the glass.

No way

I'm walking outside early morning. I'm upset. In my dream memories Jamie had told me that she didn't want to see me anymore because I was too, "Emotionally immature."

I go by a mcdonald's but it's not open in the plaza. I see my brother wandering into Tim Horton's. and decide to follow him in.

First of all, I'm just going to assume that something is wrong in the dreams. (She's been attacked by dream demons constantly especially since "The Boyfriend." dream). Second. I admit: I have severe emotional problems, they have gotten a lot better since older. I was mentally and emotionally abused and abandoned by my dad specifically. The effects of that abuse have stuck with me my entire life. I know Jamie had similar problems, that she briefly told me about herself. So, I always saw that as an opportunity to relate to one another and be there for one another. Things DO get easier with age. and I've been doing my best to work on that. I'm scared too, if Jamie were to come into my life again. There is a lot of emotional trauma around one another, and how we handled things in the past to work through. It wouldn't be easy, it might be hard. We are going to make mistakes. But I want to do it, and I want to become better and be better this time.

I woke up remembering a whole bunch of '80s songs. Or at least I think it was more than one... The last one I had in my head was a fully formed song, every instrument, vocals, lyrics, everything, and I'm not sure if it even exists in real life. I've had this before over a decade ago, when I dreamt a complete Depeche Mode song that did not exist. Not unlike what generative AI does these days, except better. Anyway, this latest song had "don't stop" as a repeating lyric, but that's so vague it was impossible to find on Google even if it existed.

Cold has finally started to go away, Yay!

The other night. Asked for Raven's help again to break Jamie out of the jail thingy I dreamed about.

Shove

I'm walking in a crowded city I'm crossing a street. At the corner there is a tall display, displaying some advertisements and media. Someone nudges or shoves shoulder and keeps on walking. I see it's the back of Jamie walking away she kind of looked back at me for a second and kept walking. Well that was rude! Reminds me of Highschool, when people didn't like you, They'd "accidentally" shoulder shove you from behind.

Demon


Me and 3 other people are chasing a demon at night. It's short, pale, and has gremlin ears. We corner it in a car wrecker place. It vanishes and I see it's latent image down various rows. "It's slowing time." I tell everyone, "It's playing out every possible scenario we can throw at it." My memory fades after.

Speechless

I'm walking outside a bar in a small town. Street reminds me of the Didsbury bar stretch with two bars on opposite sides. I'm on the JD's side Jamie is standing outside by the door, and walking past nervously. Some other girl standing outside starts talking trash to me. I can't remember what she says. Jamie grabs me and pulls me close and tells the girl. "Robert is the sweetest, most patient and caring man I've ever known." the shock of hearing this wakes me up. If Jamie ever gave me a compliment like that IRL... I would die!

Last night

big house

False awakening, I'm in a large house and have to pee. There are various rooms and people all over. I can't find a bathroom so I go downstairs. I wake up for real of course.

bed

I'm sleeping in the same bed as Jamie, she is sitting up and I am lying down. She says to me, "Slip it on." Okay. Isn't it more like ,"Roll it on."? I woke up there.

Jamie's question

I see Jamie in the familiar black space, she is staring seriously at me and asks, "Are you having a relationship with me in your head?"

I don't even begin to know how to answer that. but I will try as truthfully as I can. If she means by in my head as in dreams? Thats already been stated. If she means by talking to a voice in my head that sounds like Jamie. Short answer: For the past two months or so, Yes. That's what her voice in my head has stated. I'll ask her voice, "But this is crazy! If I see and talk to Jamie IRL, am I to talk about this?" To which she will answer, "We are to discuss everything.". This is why i'd really like Jamie to talk to me, to get clarification. If I should be seeing a psychiatrist, I'd really like to know. I'd like to get past this stuff, with or without her. Do I believe it's really Jamie? I don't know. I've been stuck with this voice for the past several years. I've tried to pray it away so many times among other things. After a certain amount of time, It's now just a thing that is a part of my current existence that I live with. If one is to do a google search on: Hearing my twin flame's voice in my head. It will lead you to loads of Quora articles where people do indeed experience this phenomena. some of them confirming with their partners that: Yes both of them will experience something like a telepathic conversation in one another's heads. Now, what I want to know is why is Jamie asking this? One possibility is that: She reads my dreams journal and reads dream her is talking and acting like we are in a relationship, she's also read that I hear a voice like her in her head, She puts two and two together and decides to use dreams to ask me this question. or, She's asking because She experiences it too. So I could equally ask her the same question. In any case I would like this to be resolved soon because this is becoming a complicated mess. I will still try to be patient tho.

These dreams took place between 11:21pm and 5:11am

Rotary banquet

I’m at a sort of banquet dinner event, it’s a similar dining room to the PA house one but it’s very elongated. Instead of one long table stretching down the middle of the room it’s roughly ten shorter oblong tables in sequence down the room. People seem to be walking in circles around their tables, it was reminiscent of chainsaw teeth going around the metal part of a chainsaw.

My role is to put butter on things*, I’m standing there with a plate that has a stick of butter on it and also holding a butter knife. I’m at the end of one of these tables and am not walking around in circles like the others. As people rotated past me I would put butter on random plates, they were going too fast for me to even consider what I was applying it to.

I run out of butter pretty quickly and I go searching for more. I find Linda near a washing machine downstairs**. She seems to be in charge here so I ask her where I can find some more. She takes half a stick of butter out of the washing machine and is hesitant to give it to me as it’s the very last of it. We were wondering if it was going to last until the end of the event, I said there were five hours left and chances were that we would run out.


Unlimited loot

James and I are inside of a Diablo-esque universe. We’re fighting a boss and after we kill it I gather my loot. I get some sort of legendary item, and then another, and another. I keep getting these amazing items over and over again, James and I look at eachother like the game is bugged. This keeps going on until my entire inventory is full. Floating text appeared in front of us that said “Hmm.. That’s odd, best keep your eye on those items..” We both agree that a large portion of the items were probably cursed or something to that extent.

Now we’re in a city that feels like a cross between Agrabah from Aladdin and Lut Gholein from Diablo II. We’re fighting alien bugs that are swarming us and we’re armed with guns on the top of a building. When shot they explode into vibrant green goo.

I notice near the side of the building are a bunch of glittering jewels embedded into it. I have to lean over the edge to grab one, I take hold of a ruby and pried it out. Since my inventory was full it immediately replaced a legendary item, which popped out in front of me and fell down onto the streets below. I realized the ruby was a bad trade for the item I lost so I climbed down to retrieve it.

James is now leaning over the roof asking what’s up and I explain what happened. He’s trying to spot where my fallen item is from above but can’t see it. There are leaves on the ground, suddenly I hear a faint humming sound. I feel through the leaves and crawl around until the sound gets louder and louder. I pick up the item from underneath some of the leaves and it’s glowing gold and humming loudly.

It’s a golden ring with a skull that has fangs on it, with tiny rubies for eyes. I inspect it and it’s a vampiric ring, it has a life steal on attack function and is part of a set. The other set item is also a ring and I notice it’s in my inventory as well.

James and I get moving and more bugs are swarming, now with a huge one that is spawning spawning the smaller bugs and keeping its distance from us. I threw some grenades at it which caused a lot of damage but didn’t kill it. This part felt like Helldivers 2/Starship Troopers.


Death Roiland

Jeff Roiland is on what appears to be a very tiny island with a massive tree growing on it. He’s got a rope wrapped around his entire body which is then connected to the trunk of the tree. Apparently he wanted to be in this position and he’s bossing around some guy on a speedboat.

I get the dream knowledge that Jeff had wronged the speedboat guy many times and this was the last straw, his boat is tethered to the trunk of the tree and he begins to speed off very quickly. Jeff falls off of the tree-island and is now being dragged through the water. The speedboat guy intentionally keeps going near rocks and tries to swing the tree-island into other dangerous objects. Jeff apparently has the ability to levitate slightly but it requires concentration which he doesn't have in this scenario. He begins to get really messed up as he smashes into various objects.

The scene is kind of disturbing me so I ‘turn it off’ like it was a screen or something. I am only experiencing blackness now but I can hear people talking about the aftermath. “Yeah he survived, but he will have to live in an iron lung for the rest of his life”

* Probably from the Rick and Morty episode where the robots only purpose is to serve butter which I saw recently.
** My last dreams involved Linda and a washing machine as well but I can't find an IWL link for this.

Been sick still. Last night I could hardly sleep.

Fake Jesus

Can't remember the details too much. I was with Jesus and he was asking me to do this strange, abstract thing. It seemed unethical what he was asking. Next we were standing over Jamie 's bed and he said if I do those things (that I can't remember) she will be in my life soon. First off, I'm not going to do anything manipulative... Second in previous dreams it sounded like she wants to talk to me, but that I'm just to be very patient with her while she decides what she wants to say. In any case I'll hear her out.

Woke up and added prayers of banishing fake Jesus from my dreams.

Last night.

Wtf

I'm looking for Jamie at her house. She is nowhere to be found. I eventually come across a jail cell door with a small window and bars Jamie is on the other side. She reaches her hand out and I lightly grab it. I'm shocked and concerned. The dream starts fading to black and when it does she says, "You have to start looking at porn."

I admit I nearly choked on my coffee when I remembered that line. I'm sure in whatever strange dream she was having, in that context, what she said made sense to her. In any case, I've pretty much avoided that the past while.

Yesterday I did some awareness meditations three times throughout the day at 15 minutes per session. I didn’t take enough notes down about my dreams last night this morning and now it’s way later in the day now so I’m missing a lot of details :\


World of Weirdcraft

There was some sort of stand up comedy show going on. The audience was a bunch of politicians dressed very formally. There aren’t any tables or seats, instead the audience is just gathered around talking to one another in a large room - not many people are even facing the guy performing his standup routine.

I head out into the streets and I’m in a very World of Warcraft-like city. It feels like Stormwind but more peasant-centric.The experience and visuals are reality based but the style of everything is very much WoW.

I’m now sitting cross-legged on the cobblestone streets, I am cutting up some sort of chemical/drug pill, the white crystalline inner contents are rapidly yellowing when exposed to the air. I think of what I should ask ChatGPT about the best way of preserving it would be.

A mail-main-like figure is walking by* and asked “What time is it? I’m going to guess it’s about 11pm?” I respond that it’s only about 7 or 8pm. He was surprised and mumbled something about daylight savings as he continued on his route.

Now I see an overview of the city I’m in, it’s on an ancient looking scroll. An old wrinkled, long nailed hand of a wizard is pointing over various locations on this map. He goes past the location I was on the street to the end of the city and says that “This is The Order of the Catalytic Converter”. I think to myself ‘that’s’ not very WoW-ish.. Then I re-consider my opinion when thinking that the dwarves or the gnomes could have easily come up with something like that.
(IDK why I’ve been having these car related dreams lately)

Then the hand goes way up north on the map-scroll showing a new zone for this ‘expansion’. He points to a night elf looking woman riding on a large black dragon which has glowing ember cracks all over its body revealing its heated interior.

The wizard proclaims “This is the fat non-binary Dragon Queen!!” as the night-elf-looking character hops off the dragon to reveal a much larger midsection than is typical of WoW character models. I think to myself how blatantly pandering/insincere and virtue signaling Blizzard has become. He goes on about this character is the final boss for this expansion.


Cans for Hawaii

Tami and I are dropping off some cans at a recycling depot with the aim of going to Hawaii with the proceeds. We’re making an effort to grab four cans at a time with each hand for some reason. From our cans to the drop off point we make 10 trips back and forth, then celebrate that we dropped off 80 cans (It would've been 160 cans I realized after the dream). Surely enough for our trip to Hawaii!

*He gave me very strong vibes of the "My man!" mail guy from Rick and Morty, an episode I saw again recently.

Last night I messed around with the EEG system I've been working on. I made some improvements in the software that I was excited to see the results of, but the electrodes on the Muse S are prone to noise and the signal was way off from ideal. It was overall a waste of a night, and since I was distracted on the EEG system my sleep suffered and my recall was zero.

There's a lot of potential here and I've only just started, but I've been experimenting with so many different things recently that I'm going to take a break from it all and just focus on the basics for a bit. I think I'm going to limit myself to finishing ETWOLD and doing some of the practices there. Below are some dreams from two nights ago that I didn't get around to journaling.



Elon’s tire warehouse

I’m in a large warehouse that seems to be predominantly filled with tires, I’m feeling almost as if I work here. I ask a man if they have two tires for my car and affirms that they do. I wander around and find myself accidentally locked out of the warehouse. Beside the door that is locked is a very long and tall garage-like door, most of it is transparent. I look through and see that there is another identical garage door about 20 feet into the building and through the window on that one I can see many people walking around working, it’s where I was standing previously.

I knock on the garage door to try to get someone’s attention, but nobody can hear me through both of the doors. Suddenly to the left of the door by a fence in a small garden-plot of dirt, a tire comes bouncing out and rolls right past me. I pivot around and watch it go away from the warehouse, which is the entire front yard of the PA house. It bounces down the steps and through the driveway and then I notice it’s heading towards an old man. I shout “Hey, look out!” and he notices it in time and hops out of the way.

It ends up striking a tree that was behind him and rolls back to stop gently by his feet. I hop down the steps and grab it and bring it back to put it where it came from. When I approach the small garden by the warehouse I see that it’s just dirt with a bunch of tires in it. The tires that are laying down flat are unmoving, but all of the other tires that were in any other position were slowly moving to an upright position and seemingly ‘sprouting’ out of the earth. I guess this one was 'ripe' and popped out. I laid it down on its side to prevent it from jumping out again.

I somehow managed to get back into the warehouse, I want to ask about the tires again. A woman passes me and I gain the dream knowledge that she’s a new employee here and that she’s a gamer, I want to get to know her more.

Now I find myself in a back room in this warehouse, it’s kind of like the manager's office or something. I’m sitting in a chair with a large desk in front of me with Elon Musk (bleh) on the other side. Behind that is a long desk against a large window - the gamer girl is there, she’s doing some work for some college project. Maybe everyone is on a break right now in this warehouse.

I ask Elon if a Tesla is worth getting. He responds with “No, I think you should take that money and instead split it with me and we can run off and be GamerLords together” (lol). We talk about some other topics.

I then ask him what games he's currently playing, he says “I don’t play games, gaming is for pussies” The girl whips around to say something but I’m already mid sentence with “How are we supposed to run away and be GamerLords together if you aren’t even a gamer?”



Freezing cat

I find myself in a living room sitting on a couch with another couch across from me and one to the left as well, there’s maybe 5 or so people sitting around here. I look over to my left and see a very generic white looking refrigerator. I immediately know that my old cat S is in the freezer. I run over and open it and take him out instantly. He almost looks inflated, like his ears and head and body are just too large which I attribute to him being in the freezer. He’s extremely cold but he’s moving slowly and I feel sick just imagining how long he must’ve been in there, so many thoughts are going through my head - is it too late? Can he come back from this? I feel his nose and it’s just about frozen. I turn to everyone and say “S was in the freezer!?”, nobody even looked up from what they were doing.