side notes

Last night I messed around with the EEG system I've been working on. I made some improvements in the software that I was excited to see the results of, but the electrodes on the Muse S are prone to noise and the signal was way off from ideal. It was overall a waste of a night, and since I was distracted on the EEG system my sleep suffered and my recall was zero.

There's a lot of potential here and I've only just started, but I've been experimenting with so many different things recently that I'm going to take a break from it all and just focus on the basics for a bit. I think I'm going to limit myself to finishing ETWOLD and doing some of the practices there. Below are some dreams from two nights ago that I didn't get around to journaling.



Elon’s tire warehouse

I’m in a large warehouse that seems to be predominantly filled with tires, I’m feeling almost as if I work here. I ask a man if they have two tires for my car and affirms that they do. I wander around and find myself accidentally locked out of the warehouse. Beside the door that is locked is a very long and tall garage-like door, most of it is transparent. I look through and see that there is another identical garage door about 20 feet into the building and through the window on that one I can see many people walking around working, it’s where I was standing previously.

I knock on the garage door to try to get someone’s attention, but nobody can hear me through both of the doors. Suddenly to the left of the door by a fence in a small garden-plot of dirt, a tire comes bouncing out and rolls right past me. I pivot around and watch it go away from the warehouse, which is the entire front yard of the PA house. It bounces down the steps and through the driveway and then I notice it’s heading towards an old man. I shout “Hey, look out!” and he notices it in time and hops out of the way.

It ends up striking a tree that was behind him and rolls back to stop gently by his feet. I hop down the steps and grab it and bring it back to put it where it came from. When I approach the small garden by the warehouse I see that it’s just dirt with a bunch of tires in it. The tires that are laying down flat are unmoving, but all of the other tires that were in any other position were slowly moving to an upright position and seemingly ‘sprouting’ out of the earth. I guess this one was 'ripe' and popped out. I laid it down on its side to prevent it from jumping out again.

I somehow managed to get back into the warehouse, I want to ask about the tires again. A woman passes me and I gain the dream knowledge that she’s a new employee here and that she’s a gamer, I want to get to know her more.

Now I find myself in a back room in this warehouse, it’s kind of like the manager's office or something. I’m sitting in a chair with a large desk in front of me with Elon Musk (bleh) on the other side. Behind that is a long desk against a large window - the gamer girl is there, she’s doing some work for some college project. Maybe everyone is on a break right now in this warehouse.

I ask Elon if a Tesla is worth getting. He responds with “No, I think you should take that money and instead split it with me and we can run off and be GamerLords together” (lol). We talk about some other topics.

I then ask him what games he's currently playing, he says “I don’t play games, gaming is for pussies” The girl whips around to say something but I’m already mid sentence with “How are we supposed to run away and be GamerLords together if you aren’t even a gamer?”



Freezing cat

I find myself in a living room sitting on a couch with another couch across from me and one to the left as well, there’s maybe 5 or so people sitting around here. I look over to my left and see a very generic white looking refrigerator. I immediately know that my old cat S is in the freezer. I run over and open it and take him out instantly. He almost looks inflated, like his ears and head and body are just too large which I attribute to him being in the freezer. He’s extremely cold but he’s moving slowly and I feel sick just imagining how long he must’ve been in there, so many thoughts are going through my head - is it too late? Can he come back from this? I feel his nose and it’s just about frozen. I turn to everyone and say “S was in the freezer!?”, nobody even looked up from what they were doing.

Last night I was testing out a wireless EEG headband and some REM detection software I made for it. I have it connected to my PC which then sends a sound to be played on my phone once REM is detected, unfortunately it unpaired with my PC before I got to REM sleep. My sleep was pretty poor since I was semi-aware of that process going on in the background.



Dreams - 11:10pm - 10:09am (I can’t believe how long I slept)

I’m in a house with Tami, it feels like it’s a new place we had just recently moved into. My phone rings, I pick it up and I can recognize it was DF by his voice. I wasn’t really interested in talking to him so when he said “Hello? Is this (my name)” I awkwardly responded “Uh.. No it’s not, you must have the wrong number!” We awkwardly end the call.

A man enters the front door with five other guys. I assume this is the landlord with some guys to work on the house in some capacity. Tami is in the kitchen. I’m suddenly back on the phone with DF and we’re having an awkward conversation. He seemingly wants to get to know me better or to be friends outside of a professional setting but it’s just awkward. I can tell he’s watching tv in the background as we speak.

A lull in the conversation comes up, we’re both silent. I’m suddenly wracking my brain for something to talk about, as if this was a really important meeting or interview or something. I let my mind go blank and tell myself if there’s something I want to talk about with him then it will come up, otherwise it won’t.

I’m pacing as this is going on, I see Tami in the kitchen grabbing something out of the sink and one of the repair guys is standing right beside her, reaching to the top shelf for something in the cabinet. It dawned on me that these people came into the house without any notice, and the fact that this guy was going about what he was doing and seemingly crowding in on Tami's personal space really bothered me. I put the phone down for a sec and shouted across to the guy “Hey you, get out of here!” Tami turned and said “Oh, no it’s okay I’ve got him helping me! ” As the guy handed some spice he was grabbing from the top shelf to Tami. Now I feel kind of silly but also happy that he wasn’t bothering her, so I return to the call and resume pacing around.

I admit to DF that earlier when he called that it was me. He says “Well, I did think it was you. It was your number, and it was your voice” (lol). I realize that there is some sort of bent up wire going around from the back of my head and close to my mouth - encircling my head. It was like electrical wire but the part right in front of my mouth the insulation was stripped showing bare copper. I felt like it may have been a mic.



This whole dream felt like a gross fever dream, I woke up with an awful headache.

Trouble sleeping past few days. Trying wbtb but not falling asleep.

car

Had a dream my brother's gf was trying to hook me up with Katelynn. ( I went for a smoke during wbtb, and my brother's gf was shoveling snow, and she said she had a dream that I was doing things with Katelynn in some bushes... And then she said that I should try to get with her. And I said: no, pretty sure she's raising a kid with a common law guy. I remember K was a friend in 2011 after I moved to Bowden. But we never even got close to hooking up, even after she invited me over for new years, and it was just me and her. The energy was just too frigid for me to try anything, and I never make a move unless I have an absolutely impossible to miss greenlight.) Anyway in the dream my brother and his gf were driving me and K to a date or something. I offered her the front seat, but she insisted on the backseat. Yeah, didn't seem to be comfortable with the idea either...


Jamie 1

Just a quick flash of Jamie leaning down to kiss me. And no, I won't explain why she had to lean down.

Jamie 2

Jamie is standing in a black space and to my right is a dream scene of a city or something. Her hair is very much like when I knew her. Jamie is leaning out of the shadow and asks, " Do you want to see me?" Then I wake up.

I do.

Notable substances: 1g Glycine

I didn't get to try the biphasic/segmented sleep schedule I was going to experiment with, going to save that for another time. In the past two days I tried taking the amino acid Glycine after reading up on how it helps with sleep and increases dreaming for some people. Yesterday I tried 3 grams before bed. I kept waking up in the night with long dreams in mind, but it made me so groggy I didn't have the energy to write them down and forgot them in the morning. It appears to make sleep deeper for me and makes my body heavier feeling than usual after waking up.

So tonight I tried 1g. This dream was unusually cohesive/tied together for me and vivid, though I had to interrupt my sleep and wake up for the day after only 5 hours of sleep. I'm going to experiment with it more after seeing how kava kava does tonight.


Dream 1

I’m using a computer that has two video cards. They’re extended from USB risers from the motherboard and are sitting on my desk to the right and in front of my keyboard. I mess around with finding the best place to put them, their fans are loud and they’re so clunky.

There’s a guy in the room with me and he recommends that I remove the power supply unit off my desk, which also was extended to fit there by the left of my keyboard. I lower the PSU onto the ground and put the video card in its place which is a better setup, but not ideal.

The guy with me wants me to play a game that he’s really into, it’s sort of like CS:GO. I try it out, in the first round I spawn with my team of about five people. I don’t like my assault gun out of the gate so I look around on the grassy ground for another one. The guy with me says just go, don’t worry about it. But I spot a bolt action sniper rifle, I go to pick it up but the usual hotkey isn’t working so I try others until one works.

As I travel onward I see a great valley with my teammates far ahead of me, already almost across to the other side where the enemy is. I climb up a hill near me and begin sniping at the enemies that are engaged with teammates on the other side of the map. I think about the netcode as I lead my shots.


I injured a few enemies and right as I took one down I’m being fired on from my right side at a very close range. I turn and take out my assault rifle and begin pre-firing as I lock onto the enemy. We both die at the exact same time. The camera pulls out to third person and slowly rotates around our bodies.

Our team ended up losing, on the scoreboard I played 3rd for my team.

Round 2 began and now we spawn in a smaller building. I go ahead and just barely see an enemy run into the room in front of me, he hides beside the door. I toss a grenade into the room right as he begins to set up a claymore by the door. The grenade goes off and I get a hit-marker, but no kill. I go into the room and finish that guy off.

In quick succession I run into a few of the other enemies and take them out. The last one runs by me, he has no shirt on and has a really hairy back. He’s armed with nothing but a crowbar, I think to myself that he’s probably trolling this match. He hides in a locker and shuts the door behind himself.

Okay so he wasn't quite this hairy!

After chasing him around a bit I eventually take him down and the match is over. The score screen shows me in first place with 5 kills and all of my teammates have 0. The person that was in the room with me must’ve ran out for a sec as they’re not there, I wait for a moment and they show back up. I show them the score screen and he says “daaaamn!”

He proceeds to show me that the better you do the better of a reward you get at the end of each day. You’re rewarded with a different color hospital bracelet, depending on how well you do. He then explains that they allow you to enter certain e-sport areas in the game. Most of them are sort of training videos with tips and tricks from famous e-sport players.

Past few nights I've had a little trouble sleeping properly.

Work related

Something about operating a hand held grinder that cuts bolts or something.


Vague recall


Something about going in about of some native woman's house

Jamie 1

Working with Jamie again, but this time I'm a dishwasher at a bar or something. Jamie is a server or something. I don't recall actually seeing her in this dreams. My brother??? Keeps handing me beer jugs to wash, that also have mini jugs with the handles hanging from the big jug rim.

So far in my dream journal, I've dreamed me and Jamie have worked at McDonald's, Wal Mart, and now a bar. So, what's our next dream job?

Jamie 2

Me and Jamie are talking in a black space, but memories we share of hanging out, are floating around us in a white space also kind of like a holographic image. The image is of the co op we both walked to while we were waiting for something special to kick in. We are facing one another also holding our hands in each. For a moment she is wearing double Dutch braids as a hairstyle, which I think is odd because she doesn't strike me as someone who would wear that as a hairstyle. We are both happy and saying meaningful things to one another. The only line I remember from her saying is, "You didn't deserve what I did to you, Robert. " Which sounds like a meaningful apology. Damn right .

Supplement update: I'm wrapping up my no-caffine experiment. I've noticed improved sleep and some slight improvements to dream vividness but I think that effect is marginal. What I didn't expect was how much calmer I am off of caffeine and how much less anxiety I have that I didn't even know was there before. Going forward I will probably have caffeine related drinks here and there but I think I'm largely going to stay off of it just from how nice it's been.

I woke up at about 4:00am naturally after about 4 and a half hours of sleep. I decided I would stay up and sleep again in several hours. I went back to sleep for about an hour and a half at 11:00am but didn't recall any more dreams from this short sleep.

I'm thinking starting tomorrow I may try waking up after ~4 hours of sleep and then stay up for ~4 hours before getting my last ~4 hours of sleep just to see what it's like with dreaming, a sort of biphasic/segmented sleep pattern. My schedule is flexible these days so why not!



Dream 1

I’m in the passenger seat of a truck, some farmer guy is in the driver seat. He’s driving around the fenced perimeter of the property. As we’re driving I daydream (night-daydream? dreamdream?) a vision of pills that I think are Alpha-GPC but they’re modified in some way. When you take them they replace your vision with lighting against a black background, but only for a few seconds then the effect resumes being Alpha-GPC.

There is a loud compressor that is on. I ‘know’ that it doesn’t belong to us and that we shouldn’t be using it. A cop and some sort of addict show up, my companion stops driving and runs over to the compressor, shutting it off.

The cop and his companion walk up to me and we exchange some words, not sure what was said but the mood went from tense to neutral.



Dream 2

I’m with James and my dad, we are approaching a house that we’re supposed to be inspecting. Dad has no shirt on and his skin is very deeply tanned, he has a mystery scar on his left shoulder blade.

As we approach the building dad says something about the owner of the house is a 30-ish year nosy guy. I entered the house in a weird way, like the side paneling was peeled back and I ducked under and in.

Upon entering the building it’s immediately apparent that it’s in bad shape. Everything is covered in a sheen of wetness, the walls are soggy and wooden beams are waterlogged. It’s like nobody has lived in here for a year and the humidity was 100% all the while. I say that it’s too gross in here and that I’m leaving.


Now Dad James and I are approaching three mesh lawn chairs around a camp site on the small farm property from Dream 1. Dad takes the middle seat, James takes the seat on the left - the dream fades as I approach the last remaining seat.



Dream 3

I am wearing a kimono with a hakama, as are a group of maybe 20 other men. We’re all kneeling facing the same direction in several rows in an open grassy area. They are getting up and going in front of the group to present their swords, one at a time.

I look down and I have what looks to be a regular katana, unsheathed in my lap. Now a man goes in front of the group and presents his insanely long sword - reminiscent of Sephiroth’s Masamune. He boasts about how none of us wouldn’t even be able to get near him in a fight. I think about how the sword is probably not an advantage at all.

Spotty recall these past couple days, due to unusual sleep schedule at home.

Had a couple NLDS but can't remember the details.

Jamie dreams

1. A flash of her laying in bed, wearing a white bed dress. She's showing me something. I won't say what.

2. Me and Jamie are working at a Wal-Mart. But it's the overnight shift. Everyone gets the same half hour break on late night s so on our break I start walking to my car to eat and smoke. Jamie joins me while walking to my car and she asks if she could sit with me in my car.

3. While slightly dosing I had an HH image of Jamie encased in a strange device. She was in a glass orb and a giant wooden thing was connected to it which operated a door. An angel with large wings stood outside of it and operated the door. A man approached the glass, but he was really a lustful demon. Jamie saw the demon and began to get undressed for it. But it couldn't get it because the angel kept the door shut. Ok... Not sure what to make of that.

I keep waking up around the time I would usually set my WBTB alarm for even when it's off now. It felt like it took a long time to get back to sleep after waking up.


Dream 1

I’m sprinting directly at a loaf of bread so fast that I somehow cleave it cleanly in half. I repeatedly do this but it seems I do best when I have someone standing about 20ft in front of the bread and then I sprint at them and sort of slingshot around them as if they have a strong gravitational force, which propels me even quicker into the bread.

There is some sort of party going on as I’m doing this and I learn that this bread-cutting technique I’m doing is called the ‘herb werb’. After learning this I silently repeated under my breath ‘herb werb’, alternating between pronouncing it with and without a silent h.



Dream 2

I’m in a large apartment with a lot of my relatives, they were all frantically running around seemingly terrified. I’m in a bedroom, there are two closed doors to leave the room and I begin heading towards one of them.

When I’m about to reach the door the ghost of my grandma passes through it. She looks grumpy and continues through the room and passes through the other door. I was startled at first but then after seeing her face I said “Oh.. Grandma!” and watched her go on her way.

I open the door I was originally heading for and head out into a hallway to see everyone running around frantically. I ask Terry what’s going on and she exclaims “It’s grandma, she’s HaUnTiNg us!”.

I sort of wander around the apartment a bit, it has multiple hallways. I eventually enter a large kitchen with an island table. On one side of the island ghost grandma is sitting on a chair, and all around the other side are the relatives.

They are all sort of shouting at her things like “Why are you haunting us!”, “Just go back, why are you here?!”. I’m confident that I can at the very least deescalate the situation. As I walk over to the island I say “Hey everyone, let me talk to her for a moment”. They all back up and make room for me to sit across from grandma.

I ask her “How have you been?”. She seems angry and confused but answers. We begin having a pleasant conversation and her mood is improving. She’s now speaking as if she’s still alive and had not passed away. Then one of the relatives interrupts and asks me very loudly “When are you going to tell her to stop haunting us??” - Which ruins the progress I was making and upsets grandma. Someone else also chimes in “Why are you asking her these questions, she’s dead!”

The feelings of getting a handle on things but being set back was frustrating.



Dream 3

I’m with two annoying men dream characters that I wouldn’t normally associate myself with. They’re both parents and talking about parenting, let’s call them GuyA and GuyB.

GuyA is talking about how recently he was out shopping and his kids asked him to buy them something. He goes on to say how he began losing his temper with them and was arguing about it but then had a moment of clarity that he was acting like GuyB, and stopped being so hostile with his kids. GuyB seems unphased by this.

I look around and we’re standing by the doors of an apartment building, but there’s only a small ledge made out of stone that surrounds the building, which drops off to the ocean. I look out at the sea and it’s snowing lightly and dark out. The ocean is churning with huge swells, sometimes almost reaching our ledge.

I feel dispassionate and flat, I walk around the ledge to one of the other sides of the building and I see a small stretch of highway in the ocean running parallel to the building, it’s supported by 8 or so metal pillars going down into the ocean. It’s probably only about 100 ft long and the road ends abruptly on both sides.

I point to it and quietly say “Highway here, get your highway here” like one of those old times paper boys. I feel like I said something about ‘magic road’ as well.

GuyA looks at me, then the ocean highway back and forth several times. As if competing for my attention he begins running towards the ocean and shouts “Oh yeah? Well watch this!” as he leaps into the frigid water.

He begins comically doing an exaggerated butterfly stroke, every time he comes up for air he looks at me to check if I’m still watching. His clothing and coat seem to be slowing him down. I walk around to another side of the building.



Dream 4

I’m sitting on a large stone beach by the ocean, it’s very sunny and beautiful out. There are many little shelled creatures moving around me, about the size of golf balls. I consider how they look like the real life equivalent of enemies from a video game (Ninja Gaiden), even though the correlation didn’t actually make sense.

Someone says something to me, I look up to see who it is. I feel interrupted.

office

Short dream with low detail about working in an office building. We were moving boxes around and stuff.


Long dream

Started out... I was flying up in some interesting caves. They were endless and bright multi colored. I went in a crevice where some people were. Apparently my dad was working in the cave and we were laying tapes out. Some foreman mentioned my dad was fast and did everything in the cave so quickly.

I was wiping a tape that was by a damp spot with water flowing through it. I couldn't get it to stick and after several tries... I started yelling in frustration. The foreman told me to leave. I argued the work couldn't be done. The man said he had a guy that could do it, and a young guy took my spot. This sent me into a ranting rage. I started leaving.

Now I was walking down a grassy hill and some guy from the construction group was following me. We kept talking and he was trying to calm me down. I remember saying something like I was "hangry."

I went to the camp where I supposedly lived, tried to eat at a restaurant but the details are foggy. I also got kicked out of the restaurant.

Next I was in some store with advanced clocks and watches. This girl with long brown hair and grey eyes helped me in the store. Her name tag said , "Jamie," and might have even said so. She didn't seem to know who I was. And I wasn't sure it was my Jamie., even though the height and look was the same. She showed me a tiny clock inside a glass pyramid that fit in the palm of your hand. I guess it WAS Jamie, just that we didn't recognize one another.

I left the store and saw something like a sci Fi convention going on. People were walking from a door in Starfleet uniforms. For some reason I thought I had a pass to get in, so I walked right in. I walked past lines of people in similar uniforms. I tried to shake some actresses hand but she looked shocked. Security people kept scanning my forehead as I was walking through. Then security escorted me out

The security guy took me to the lobby and was holding my wrist. I kept telling him to let me go . Eventually after some talking we were friends. He showed me a watch he had that was in the shape of a glass pyramid. I told him that the Jamie girl that works there, looked and acted exactly the same as some girl named Jamie that I knew in another town years ago. A guy piped up... It was PewDiePie. And he said, "whoa, that's a crazy coincidence." Or something. We started talking but I woke up.

Jesus' message

I fell into a brief HH dream. A scene like and oil painting of Jesus slid from the left and came before my eyes. He said, " After careful consideration of knowing Jamie's character, I have determined that the reason why you haven't heard from her yet, is because she feels very guilty about how she mishandled you in the past. She also is very fearful of the same result happening again." Wow, okay. All I can say is I'm not willing to reach out either, since I already have a few times and have been only met with silence. I'm not willing to message someone who isn't going to respond. I don't want to harass her in any way. I guess we're just gonna have to run into eachother more... Or she CAN do the drive bys more if that's what it takes for her to feel comfortable with me, she has my permission.

neighbors house

Brief dream about house sitting my neighbors house. I was on some landing. It was night time and I was talking to some girl on the main floor. I was doing some dream parkour stuff around the house while we we talking. She was saying how the previous owner had all these rock tiles for the driveway and how he was taking them all to his new house . I responded that the current owner of the house we were sitting said the previous owner left a lot of those tiles in the basement. That's all I remember.

nice

I was walking down a busy suburban street at night time. I was with some friends or something. I saw a girl I seemed to recognize with orange hair. I said to the guy I was with that a thought she was cute. The girl came up to me and seemed to know me. I'm not sure if it was Asuka, or Jamie. We sat down somewhere on a bench with a tarp over it. I was holding her hand. I rested my head on her shoulder and fell asleep.

Been fairly discouraged recently from my lack of results. I feel like I'm trying too hard but at the same time I know if I put in less effort that doesn't get me anywhere from past experiences. I must be fundamentally missing something here.



Dream from the night of Feb 19th

A man is a DJ in a movie theater, switching between DJing and using a giant laser-tag assault rifle that lights up and makes zappy sounds. The zap sound effect is so crushed and poor quality sounding.

Everyone else is using old school laser-tag guns that have to reload slowly after each shot so it's unfair going against the DJ with his fully automatic laser.

I'm looking at the world top down and I see an airplane take off near three mile Island, the DJ guy is on it. I am with someone else and we both follow it landing in Ukraine where he is meeting a love interest. It's like an Indiana Jones map sequence but viewing the real world instead of a map.

As the above is going on I'm simultaneously holding a jar of mayo. I have a lid that is so small that it fits inside the jar of mayo and I begin screwing it on, halfway inside the jar. I can feel the threading catch as it tightens, there's mayo all over my hands. It's not even a complete lid, it's just the outer rim of a mason jar lid without the center metal part with the gasket.


Now the dreams from last night
I did a WBTB last night.



Dream 1

I'm at some sort of gathering and I have a non-IWL girlfriend with me. It's like we're trapped in some sort of giant playpen, the floor was thick foam and there was colorful jungle-gym like equipment around us. We want some privacy so we use these giant foam buildable pieces to make a sort of fortress.

When we get into the fortress that we built it's suddenly as if we're in a car that's very similar to a Chrysler 300 S. We're putting the seats forward to make room as we're in the back seats.

The tinted windows are halfway down and I notice we're now parked by a restaurant and a large window is about 50 ft away from us. My mom is in this restaurant seated right by the window and she's staring at us grumpily. I put the windows up to block the view of her.

I don't know where this fits in but Tami asks me "how come when people refer to Banjo-Kazooie they don't talk about the characters or worlds, they just say 'Banjo-Kazooie'.



Dream 2

There are these cats that have really thick fur that is more like sheep wool. It's very dense and feels awesome to squeeze their fur, I could feel the oils that were in it. There were two of these cats and they were on a bed. The bed had three strips going down the length of it, as if demonstrating that this bed could have three people in it.

I bring Tami to the bed and want to show her these cats, she pets them then lays down in the middle spot on the bed. Suddenly there's a creepy guy to her left in that 'slot' and rolls over to her, grinning with his face way too close to her cheek, I instinctively push him off the bed.


Dream 3

I'm speaking with RacheL. We're talking about mundane things in life that 'you just have to do'. Like work, shopping, etc. She says 'why would you do that?' to one of these things that seem mandatory in life. And I say well you know, it's something we have to do - you know? She says 'Uhh.. No'. I ask her 'Haven't you ever had to do something before that you didn't want to do?' to which she responds plainly 'No. Why would you do that?', and looks at me in a way that makes me 'remember'. I stop and think 'You're right.. I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do' and genuinely felt like it was true, almost like remembering a state before this life or something where everything truly is optional.



Dream 4 - Fragment

Some small tribe camp with tents by the sea, a campfire is in a central location of the camp. The camp is stormed by people from another tribe that are very similarly dressed as the people in the tribe they're attacking, loin cloths and white dripping painted handprints against their dark skin. Some had spears, some had bows and arrows.



Dream 5 - Fragment
VHS tapes or something in a store. One section had long artificial seaweed for a fish tank, Tami wanted it. (IWL she bought some fish today, funny coincidence)



Dream 6 - Fragment
There is David and someone else, perhaps James. They are getting a new computer for me, almost like as a reimbursement for something they messed up on.

‎
WBTB - 3:30am

I've been curious what kind of efffect an extremely low dose of LSD would do after a WBTB on dreaming so I gave it a shot tonight. I woke up and took ~2.5 μg of LSD and immediately went back to bed without staying up for more than a few minutes. I quickly felt something in my mind 'turn on' and I realized that even though this was a micro-dose of a micro-dose that it was still going to be enough to probably interrupt my sleep based on what I was feeling.

It did take a while to fall back asleep so I'm going to try this again in a few days but at one tenth of this dose at ~0.25 μg instead. These dreams were more vivid than usual but at the same time felt sort of interrupted.


Dream 1

I'm selling a white car that was previously a cop car. Some people are going to come by to look at it.

A cop car parks in my driveway and two police get out. They have keys to open the car I'm selling, they get in and try to start it but fail. They don't seem happy and they say they'll be back, they want to take it or impound it or something.

Then a family came by, a wife, husband and their son. The wife wanted the car so she paid for it and they drove off.

She ends up texting me something about a bullet hole in the car and that it's not working.

I drive out and find them, looks like she hit a tree. They're all okay and I ask her about this bullet hole that she mentioned. She says nevermind about that, I end up taking the car off their hands to scrap it.

Dream 2

A really emotionally charged dream, no doubt brought on by the LSD.

Note: I was stranded for an hour in Didsbury while my family (Dad brother) went to the rec center. I was hungry and was dropped off at Tim Hortons to have a meal. On walking towards the rec center a white SUV drove past me and the woman driving by looked like Jamie, and she was smiling at me (With teeth)! I could have sworn she did a drive by at the end of the summer but was in a rickety brown SUV. Maybe not the same person, or maybe I'm imagining things? Maybe she traded in her old vehicle? So, we've gone from pretending I don't exist, to, drive bys and stealing glances to, driving by and smiling. What's the next step? waving? Not a joke or sarcasm. Slowly but surely... <----- positive dots!!!

Dream 1

Me and Jamie are in a car and we are pulling up to fas gas in olds. That's it.

Dream 2

Dreaming from Jamie's perspective, I'm in a house and I'm looking out a window waiting until someone pulls. I feel like a real estate agent in this dream.

Dream 3

I walk into a large room with all these colorful lights enhanced by a smoke machine. (If you've ever been to the mirror museum exhibit in chinook mall this is exactly what it was like)Jamie is in the room but she is gigantic and laying on the floor. I'm only as tall as the width of one of her legs. That's it I just walk in and that's it.

At least one or two other dreams of Jamie not even a fraction of a second long.

Psych ward

I live in a psych ward or retreat (Definitely where I belong btw.) I'm friends with an older brown haired woman. We both smoke and get eachother smokes or something. She wears a ponytail and wears glasses. Eventually her time ends and her husband picks her up and I'm sad. I sulk around after she leaves and the dream ends.

Oh no

I did pray about dreaming sexual things about other women, and hence this explains the influx of Jamie dreams. However this morning, I dreamed I was going to meet this girl I met off Tinder or something. I'm in a strange apartment building, I find her room number which is 316 or something. I go in and everything is pitch black. Being in a pitch black place in a dream just wakes me up.

Some people have messaged me and/or left comments asking "Who is Jamie?" I understand my journal entries must seem like the ravings of a madman, I can assure you, I consider it a possibility every single day. Jamie is someone I use to work with in 2011, We were friends (the vocal pretext we had both agreed upon- the subtext however... slightly different story). Long complicated story I'm not going into. to the layman, (Someone who is completely atheist and is a scoffer at anything spiritual, or having anything like a god in the universe, supernatural, paranormal. etc) I suffer from a bizarre form of Limerence, and "Spiritual psychosis", and Jamie is the Idealized object of this. In more spiritual terms it is also known as "Twin Flame," or "Alien Love bite", Neither term I agree with, however I have read experiences from many people that I can relate to ( I watched a long youtube of a panel of people from the ALB community and listened to a couple explain how they were having mutual or shared dreams). Scoffers will scoff, fine. I define it simply as: Seemingly paranormal facilitation and interference in human relationships. There's also a psychosis in the mix as well, BPD, Both of us have levels of such a disorder. In my case I love bomb someone who shows interest in me and when I feel they are going to abandon me, I promptly dump them or cut them out of my life, and then horrifyingly try to "Win them back,". I was not even aware of this "Cycle," until I met Jamie and analyzed our friendship years later, and reading what BPD is.

Years after, the "Discarding" of one another. I began experiencing paranormal events all over again. Seeing annoying "Angel signs," regarding her. As well as a sudden influx of dreams about her. I have a long history on this forum being able to share dreams with people. And i Still experience this to this day, the sharing of dreams. I began to wonder if it was a possibility, that we were somehow reaching one another in dreams. Such phenomena increased with such intensity (and things jamie was doing and saying in dreams) It became such a great concern to me that I was compelled to send her a handful of messages over a period of a few months. I told her from as many angles as I could what stuff I was experiencing. Just being open and relaying messages that I had learned. After the first message, In the dreams of her, she began to first act repulsed by me in the dreams and then began to be more okay with it. And after my last long explanatory message the dream her seemed fine. I did relay in my message that this dream journal exists, and that she can read it. These dream journals have a subscribe button, (I don't get notified of subscribers) and such people get an email every time I post an entry. It's likely I gave her a link to my dream journal when we were friends in 2011, and she has been subscribed since then. Or a few years ago she did. I'm not going to speculate. But it definitely seems like she reads my dream journal and then in later dreams she will react to what I dreamed about. She has never messaged me back however, But did mark my message as, "Read." sometimes she would leave a message, "Unread" So I take it as a sign of minimal respect for my efforts. In the end she has a disorder, where various people are discarded, and most of those people will never be in touch again. so no, I am not expecting a message back, or for her to be friends again. We both have some severe emotional problems that would probably end in complete disaster, or worse, all over again, if not handled EXTREMELY carefully.

Unfortunately, I have had to move back to the area where I met her. and it's possible I may have run into her when I first arrived here, at a convenience store. The person, had to turn around and leave the store, after their purchase and I was standing in. She didn't look me in the eye at all, seemed slightly aware that it was me. but looked really pissed or at least annoyed that I was there. I was not surprised at this reaction at all, I even expected it, given what I know about the disorder. and then a few times over a few months. she had driven by me at least once or twice and was stealing glances at me. No, I don't imagine she is stalking me. This IS a series of small towns where you are bound to run into anyone you ever known in this area at any given day.

This journal then is for Jamie to read as she sees fit. As long as I dream about her, I will keep posting entries.

Dreams

1. Jamie, is tied to a wall in a hotel room... she is naked. and some guy is standing near her. He had glasses, hair poorly bleached with brown hair at the part.

that's all I remember. I wake up and The voice says,, "Why was I naked?"

2. I dream my dog is getting really angry at me because I am playing with a cat. His mouth looked really strange and scary.

3. I was in bed with someone, But it was this other girl, from Wal-mart. She is pregnant I start kissing her and she kisses me back. A strange thought of doubt runs through my head.

I wake up. and fall back asleep.

Note: it seems the past few weeks, I have been unable to meet Jamie in the dreams lately just have dreams about her. We both seem to have been dreaming about people who are "Distractions". The goal: to prevent us dreaming the same dream. I will pray and/or meditate on this.

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Notable day supplements: No caffeine

I didn't put very much effort into recalling my dreams last night, I guess I've gotten used to them coming to me fairly easily and thought I wouldn't have to try as hard. Turns out effort is still required, I didn't recall that much.



Dream 1 - Fragment

In my dream, I wake up in bed (different than my IWL bedroom). I feel kind of odd so I glance at my watch and see that my heart rate is fluctuating between 5 and 10 bpm. I'm alarmed but I try to really freak myself out to get my adrenaline going, which works and my heart rate goes up to normal.*



Dream 2 - Fragment

I'm flying FPV, but instead of flying the drone I have it's sort of a hybrid between two different models. I like its power balance and agility, I think I'm flying over the ocean at one point.



Dream 3 - Fragment

I'm with two girls and we need to drive somewhere fast, but we won't make it in time. They say that we should try flying. I say 'Wait, we can fly here?' and one of them says 'Yeah, but it's really difficult. You just have to 100% believe that you can fly'. One of the girls can slightly hover, but the other one and myself are struggling.



* This dream was triggered by a reddit post I read just a few days ago where someone's heart rate dropped down to 10bpm.

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Notable day substances: No caffeine - was tempted today though.

I woke up at 3:45 for WBTB, since I've done it many days in a row waking up at this time is really easy now. But I wanted to see how my dreams would differ if I had a full night of sleep tonight so I went right back to sleep (though it took maybe 10mins).



Dream 1

I can’t really recall this dream. I only remember that there was an RV that was full of movies. Also I was sitting on a couch with RacheL, I made a funny observation that fell flat.



Dream 2

I go to dreamviews, on the landing page it shows a list of recently banned users. I think 'Weird, I've never noticed this before' There's only one name on the list, 'Harlequin'. I think 'what?? What could've Harlequin even done to get banned?' I ponder about how the site has such little activity, over-protection as well doesn't help.



Dream 3

I'm in an old strange run down house sleeping against a window. There are glass window panels all around me and there are plants growing through the window, they’re all around me. I'm frustrated and hop off the window sill.

Linda seems to be here. I leave the house and it's surrounded by sparse woods, mainly open untamed fields.

Mayan comes by and begins guiding me somewhere. We travel through the woods until we're in a small neatly kept neighborhood.

The front door to one of the buildings is open, and he takes us through it. We go to the living room, he sits me down on a couch and then he sort of wanders off.

The furniture is organized in a circle facing inward and every seat is filled, maybe about 17 people or so. Before I sat down they were all laughing and having some sort of party or something. But now they all went silent and are just staring at me.

I look at each person's face, and I don't recognize anyone*. From what I can tell this is a birthday party, most of them are a bit older - from early to late 40's.

I apologize for dropping in so randomly and kind of jokingly point out how awkward this is but the tension remains. Very slowly people begin picking up their previous conversations but when I try to connect with the people closest to me everyone would stop again and stare.

Eventually things were more relaxed. There were two guys off to my right speaking Russian, they were wearing very Russian jogging apparel. I ask them if they speak any German. One of them puts his index finger and thumb very close together and says "some". I responded "Ein bisschen?" (A little?) he responds affirmingly in German with a Russian accent - something I haven’t heard before.

We have a short conversation in German where I mainly get across that I've been learning it for fun for the past few years.

I hear tearing from my left, I look over to see one of the guys wearing a party crown opening a present. I ask him if it's his birthday, he says yeah. I say 'lemme guess you're turning.. ' I look at his features, I think 46 but maybe he's closer to 45' someone else says '46?' I respond with 'I was gonna say that too but my guess is 45'. Birthday guy says he's turning 43.

This went on longer and eventually I got to know more people and it was alright. It was a very vivid dream. Besides feeling super awkward at first it ended up relaxed and boring even.



* I can still recall most of the faces of the people there really well. Normally I forget the features of dream character's faces pretty quickly.