Side Notes
24th September 2021 Left recall too late. Fragment: I'm in Gruul's lair, it's mostly like in WoW but something seems more realistic in detail, characters maybe? Me and a raid group kill Gruul rather quickly. It's a 25 man group but oddly most of the characters aren't actual players? I remember talking to someone too. 26th September 2021 There were other dreams but recall was again left too late I think? Fragment: One bit where I'm in space with an Avorion spaceship. I approach one of those concentric asteroid ring formations. Something later about dad talking to me about a mission or a bet which is worth sixty eight million. I am dismissive. Notes: - Maybe the realistic character details come from recently playing Conan Exiles. - It may have been that I was speaking to L in the Gruul's lair dream but I cannot recall. There seemed to be some kind of backwards logic to the raid progression. - I haven't actually been playing much in the way of space games.
13th September 2021 Recall mostly gone, left initial writing for too long. Fragment: I'm on our street but it's not like in waking life. It's a mix of streets from old London as in films and also of where H's mom lives. I just gout out of the car, maybe on my own. It's day time, but overcast? In the dream everything has a very real feel to it. As I'm dreaming, my memory feels fuzzy; "18, that's not the number of J's door, but this doesn't look like our street?" I think to myself. I'm not sure what conclusion I made but I eventually go to ring the doorbell and go in. J is here briefly, I think. The house looks nothing like any of our homes, it just seems dream generated. Something about a pit or elevator shaft. Some task or chore that needs doing, possibly related to it? While indoors, it seems like the outside gets brighter than it had been. 20th September 2021 Scraps: Getting into fights and arguments with my eldest sibling. As a dream character he blends with some stereotype/nasty dream character archetype. He's treating me like shit and has called me pathetic a great number of times over several days (false memory). I threaten him saying "I can change but you won't like it." I resist an urge to flip the dining table against him. Mom and dad defend me in their ways. Dad mentions something about if he'd had the dream/nightmare that I had... (my recall of this trailed off but there was an implied behaviour that he was being understanding) At some point I throw a wooden chair against the wall. (It breaks?) Night time, we're in the second floor of the old home, the kitchen is L shaped. Some other dream also involving old home themes, recall vague. I remember looking at some M/M stuff (on the computer?) and then some kind of disagreements? 22nd September 2021 Fragment: In a supermarket with H. Very realistic, completely dream generated setting. Lots of running (literal?) around, as it's closing soon. Night time, they dim the lights but too much, I feel. I hope that H will complain as I am running around. Then the lights are still dim, but more acceptably so. Notes: - Recall has actually not been too bad in general for the last few months, but I keep leaving recall too long or falling asleep again without enough awareness to either recall later or to set an intent to notice I was falling asleep. - In the second fragment, there's some sort of mirroring with the initial context and an incident when I was six or seven, at school.
Victoria A dream about the other Victoria I used to work with... An old co worker came up to me in some office building hallway and told me that the other Victoria has just passed. I was really shocked. Note: I follow her as friends on fb. She hasn't been online for like 6 days. I'm not even gonna go there... Island Really crazy dream about a really small island on a lake. I was with some people. A woman with brown hair. Jamie or Asuka, couldn't tell. And maybe two others. The dream island manifested Giant animal spirits of people. Talking like King kong Giant. One guy stepped on and there was a large ape like king kong. Someone else manifested a giant lizard. I stepped on and a giant green cobra came out of the ground. The brown haired woman stepped on and another giant cobra sprang from the ground... Only it had 3 heads!!! The island itself was like only 50 feet wide, so the animals keep trying to fight, but when one of us gets knocked from the island by the creature it vanishes, and when we go back on it, the monster comes back. So we keep getting knocked off the island and running back on. Lots of crazy fights going on. Data Was outside a house at night time. Apparently it was my house. I walked up and the porch light is on and Data walks out the front door. Data from Star Trek. His pale skin looks painted on. I can't believe it's him. He greets me like he knows me and I just can't believe it. I wake up and remember That in my inner world house. I do have a character named Data who lives there. Although in a decade this is the first time I actually have seen him as the character. Usually he's very vague in image, like a shadow. I sometimes think he has glasses on.
8th September 2021 Fragment: (from an earlier awakening, most detail lost) I'm with someone. It's a person of an alien species. He (?) is like a gel of energy that is contained within a humanoid shaped vessel. In the dream I eventually understand that this is purposefully metaphorical. He is very young and is more mature than most humans but has much to learn. His species gains the ability to take on other forms as they get older but for the most part for now he can only leave the humanoid shape and take an amorphous shape. We are friends and do things together, but I forget what. I think he sets up a physical MMO server thing of some kind and other people start joining our realm (BL intrusion?). Eventually, he finds another person of his species and I'm happy for him since he can share his unique aspects with someone else. I remember he actually also had the ability to exit his humanoid vessel and go into other objects. At one point he goes into one of two giant screens and his friend does the same with the free screen. This was relevant for the MMO thing but I don't remember how. The setting seems to be mostly urban, semi-futuristic. At some point we're inside a great house or hall, it feels like an ancient library, with a techy feel. Notes: - The shapeshifting gel energy being is obviously an intrusion from ST: DS9, since I have been watching this recently. In the dream it felt novel, and at the time of first recall it still had some of that feel.
5th September 2021 Fragment: (micro dream/daydream after having woken, slightly more aware than during regular dreaming but not lucid) Driving around in a learner car. Daytime, clear weather. I'm with a (white?) male driving instructor. Going around a countryside bit with some awareness of a river of sorts running alongside the curvy road I'm on, the view of the river is blocked by typical reeds. The driving instructor throws some litter out the window, looks like some kind of metal foil. I think this is so wasteful, so I make us stop off the road in the middle of a floodplain farm field, having cleared the more dangerous part of the road first. I get out and tell him to get out too (aggressively?) and I start heading for where the litter was thrown. Notes: - Though the instructor has a "teacher" role, he has bad habits and in fact ends up being the one who's bossed around by me. -- My attitude overall through the segment is one of confidence, not overly so, just enough to feel like I am doing the right things and not doubt myself too much. -- Notably I also wait to express my anger by first clearing any traffic and driving off a spot that's least dangerous despite doing so in a reckless/angry manner. This is some sign of self-control, something that I feel could be doing better, at the time of writing this entry now. - The dream location was very much like areas of my native home but with some mix of certain lakes near where I live now.
4th September 2021 Fragment: I'm with my family and my god mother's family. We're in some kind of hall, but it looks like a bigger version of my childhood bedroom, at least in layout. It also feels partly church-like. There's an on-going conversation about money, savings and debts. It's established that our family has less savings but also potentially much fewer debts to pay. Then some discussion just between me and my siblings. We head outside and it's sunny, low angle, maybe misty. (maybe earlier in the dream, disjointed) Some bit about needing the deuterium power cell to be replaced for the auxiliary power system of a flats building, maybe where aunt B lives. The deuterium radioisotope generators is in a small outbuilding that's fallen into disrepair, in the shadow of the apartment building. There's a presumably lead-lined window that gives a peek inside. There's a cyan-blue glow inside. I worry on some level about being exposed to radiation. (disjointed, part of a living dream memory of sorts) I'm at a place like a mall or the cinema in a mall, reminds me of the one near home. Black or very dark walls? Dark flooring. There's something about WoW. (the false memory feels like it's part of my teen years but being relived) Some other bit later on. A church place again? There's a coffin I think. Something about a corpse is important. I fight with someone, a frail-looking but kind of mad (insane) person? Notes: - Even almost twenty days after having first written this dream, my visual recall was notably better than I was expecting. - In the dream and on initial recall I didn't think of it, but the cyan-blue glow chamber with the radioisotope cell somehow now reminds me of that dream I had with the lizard and the blue energy core. Very similar glow. Additionally, this small chamber was notably much darker than it should have been. - Most of the dream involved warm colours apart from that glow.
Looking for Jamie Became lucid on something like a greyhound bus. Decided to look for Jamie since she's been AWOL for a while now, briefly showing up here and there, for all i know she could be dead or something and i'd never know. I go up to the bus driver and ask if he knows where Jamie is? He says no. I look around the bus to ask someone else but it's empty. The dream starts going dark a bit. I step down the front steps to the door. To the right of the door as a panel. I imagine removing the panel will take me to another dream space. I take the panel off and slowly step through. I wound up in a large house that appears to be under construction. All the walls are made of plywood and not drywall, and is not painted. The floors are all plywood but clean as in prepped for flooring. I wonder if i can use this place as a dream to find more hidden houses inside hidden rooms. Like a dream that goes on forever and all I do is explore endless houses strung together. I guess Jamie has slipped my mind by now. The dream starts to fade. I try and prolong the dream by leaning on one knee, placing my hand on the floor and counting the spaces between my fingers with one eye closed, (as per Hukif/Walm's suggestion) i start counting. I don't even get to 10 before the distortions start pulling me from the dream forcing me to wake up. I usually try to jump and escape them which usually makes the dream black and then it snaps back with super clarity. But not this time. I feel myself jumping but slightly hitting a ceiling and then I wake up. Victoria A dream about my friend who died of covid at the end of august... She was facebook messaging me. She knows she's dead in the dream and she kept saying sorry and that she was embarrassed that she died so suddenly... Another death I see a woman with brown hair at a funeral. I have a feeling it's Jamie, because of the way she doesn't acknowledge me. She's not here for me, She's here for someone she knows that passed on. It's an odd viewing. The casket is open but on a conveyor belt. (side note: I absolutely hate Viewings. The person is gone, with Jesus, or in hell, or showing up on celebrity ghost stories or something, That body is not them. You know on TV shows when they have viewings? And the person's face is all perfect? Well, it usually isn't, The muscles that hold the face together aren't working and their cheeks just sag down.) Anyway, in the dream the casket rolls by me and Jamie. Her cold ,I'm not really here, gaze breaks and she starts tearing up. She holds onto me and I give her a hug while she cries. Well I guess she knew I was there after all..
2nd September 2021 Dream: Aboard a spaceship. It's dark in most hallways and rooms and there's a general eerie feel, like how I used to feel about the dark as a child. Some parts of the ship look like the Nostromo in a Weyland-Yutani style. There's discussion with some characters and we're talking about Vulcan. I seem to have future knowledge that it will be destroyed by an explosion but I keep it to myself. A guy is talking about his brother having gone to Vulcan as a trader. I see out a central window in a dark room and there's a planet with a green atmosphere, framed perfectly by the round window. I go away from the rest of the group on my own, I think just through into some other nearby rooms. There's a WY wall-mounted bulky junction thing, over a doorway (resembling corridors in the Pods). This thing has a flashing red light, possibly beeping too. I notice that the flash seems to slowly be gaining speed. This unsettles me, telling me something is wrong. In the dream I can't seem to remember what the thing is for and when I ask nobody else seems to know or care, being preoccupied with their own conversations or thoughts. Nobody takes this seriously. I feel there may be an alien (xeno) aboard. (recall gap) Then, I'm in the mess hall, which is nearby to where I was before. There are two or three dozen people here, all eating from bowls and stuff, but there are no tables or chairs. There are a few kids too. An adjoined kitchen has workshop-like tools, like buzz saws, table saws and the like. All of this just makes me feel uneasy and I imagine or fear accidents relating to these tools. One kid in the mess hall has a cyborg hand with a circular saw attached. He's cutting beef jerky with it, or some other kind of stringy meat. I am or become one of the kids at some point, possibly early teens? Everyone eventually leaves except for myself and a couple of other kids. This unsettles me, like something terrible is going to happen, still because of that eerie feeling about the darkness. The other two kids, a tall slim boy and a short fat boy, start picking on me and won't let me leave. We get into a slow struggle but I eventually break free. I forget the rest of this part. (recall gap) Somewhere outdoors-like and sunny, but I just walked there in the ship, it's just some section of it. Some other characters, I'm accompanying them I think. Despite the changed environment the eerie feeling remains in some places that are indoors here. I forget most of this segment but at the end I'm talking to a male doctor, a psychologist. We're sitting at a bench in an outdoor cloister bit with benches. There are other people around, passing by or whatever. We discuss some problems of mine (which specific to this dream-life) but I forget what is said exactly. Notes: - For quite some time I have been wondering if or when I'd ever dream about one of the Alien films. Oddly enough, after waking from this dream, I didn't remember this, despite realising there were some similarities between the dream environment and the setting of the first film. - I haven't known or felt that fear of darkness in a number of long years, it's a fear that I think I must have worked a bit to overcome but that also kind of just went away on its own. -- It's notable that I can't remember ever having felt this eerie feeling in a dream before, but it's possible I just don't remember any specific instance anymore. - I couldn't notice any outer details of the ship from the windows. -- The planet I saw was probably based off space games I've recently been playing. But the (vivid, tending toward yellows) green atmosphere is probably symbolic, as it's a colour I associate with death, envy and other sinister feelings or effects. This seems pertinent with the rest of the setting and mood. - The unwillingness of other characters to cooperate or listen probably relates to how characters are often portrayed in the sort of film like Alien, where you always seem to have stubborn or ignorant characters that make everything worse. - On some level, the ship having the self-contained outdoor-but-indoors environment is probably related to a story I've been working on for a while now. - Despite the feelings in the dream, this wasn't really a bad dream, especially since I've been waiting for something like it to come up.
Jamie Just a dream that she was in some city driving around and looking for me. I live in picture butte now, so if she was really looking for me in my previous city she wouldn't find me. Victoria Difficult dream to recall. I was dreaming she was outside her apartment taking selfies. But she mood of the dream was sick, like she was sickly and/or dying. *Not a dream* I woke up from that dream last Saturday to a message from Victoria ( an old co worker who I was close friends with). she was telling me she came down with Covid. I asked how severe? and she didn't respond. A few days later just before a night shift I read on Facebook she had just died. She was 36... my age, with underlying health problems. Was this dream prescient? Various other dreams i can't recall. One involded my car getting stolen. Driving around with my uncle, and dreaming about the Trinity Killer from Dexter season 4.
29th August 2021 Some in-line notes/thoughts. Fragment: (last part of a dream) Not sure where I am, some house. H is here and some client of his. There is some upset because of people doing some kind of eBay boycott or slandering. I feel I know exactly why; in Discord, talking to A and G and some other furries, another (dream-generated) furry called "Daster" is mentioned as having made a journal about eBay shenanigans. But reading what Daster said, it seems to read fine actually and it's more like others didn't read it thoroughly and have blown it out of proportion. (on waking from this, I wondered why I didn't consider this a dreaming situation while dreaming) Fragment: (some early dream) In an old and abandoned building. It's an abandoned nuclear power plant. Me, H and DH (who we were recently introduced to in WL) are here, I think trying to get the power plant working again. Some circuit boards in a control room of sorts seem to be damaged? Other mechanical bits need replacing, overall. DH plays around with one of those chunky armoured cables we saw in A's garage while we were away. DH draws arcs with it and stuff, across some of the control room machinery. The electric arcs are just barely visible (making me think of X-Ray radiation being at play) and they are long and a very faint but somewhat bright light blue colour. Something happens and an arc strikes all three of us. I feel dizzy at first. Then we all start experiencing psychotropic symptoms. I start to trip, basically. I start seeing colours more vividly and my field of view starts distorting. Fragment: I'm with H in a village, it's daytime, either cloudy or sunny. We walk past a house that has some interesting rendering. Then I see there's this huge Viking-like church. I ask H what's it like inside and he says he's never been in. I think earlier we are in a town much like my old home town, but with much taller buildings. I remember being atop one of these buildings at one point (looking down?). Things are trippy at some points, like an Escher painting kind of trippy, with forced perspectives and things like that. Fragment: A dream bit with a film noire feel to it but not actually in greyscale. Not sure that I'm even a character at all. Some guys get a mobile call. They're in a busy path by an equally busy canal. New York accents or something? Something stereotypical and period-like anyway. On the phone, they're discussing a paid assassination job. The seeming protagonist is trying to be tactful with the discussion in public, unlike his colleague was when he had a turn on the phone. There's a scene that I think is supposed to be comical or juxtaposing because this heavy and serious discussion passes right in front of a children's choir practising on the canal and as they pass them, the main character alludes to this in a humorous way that "disguises" the assassination conversation as he goes past. Scraps: Very vague recall of making an abstract art piece and uploading it semi unfinished. Notes: - I am not sure why the first dream fragment might have manifested, but probably a mix of worries. I have never encountered anyone by a username of "Daster" and when I looked it up, I couldn't really find anything relating to that dream's content. - In a more recent dream than in this entry, I had another dream where there was concern over non-visible radiation. I think this is often a sub-conscious worry of sorts, not strictly just about radiation, also about other non-visible agents that might cause harm and that is to say, such things as viruses, something else that has recently appeared in dreaming. - Strangely, the dreaming for this day seemed to have a "trippy" factor as quite a prominent feature. I don't recall ever having "tripped" in that sense, although I can imagine to some extent what it might be like, but I am not sure what brought this on as a dreaming thing. - The Viking-like church is probably both a residue of a Minecraft town we'd been building and of an actual church we recently visited that had a similar feel, in some respects. -- The village area we were in was similar to several different local ones we've been to, for church-related stuff.
My work has me doing retarded schedules. sleep was erratic. but somehow got more dreams. Jamie 1 She was driving her car past me... She seemed to be pissed at me?!!?!?? Hard to tell with her sometimes. Jamie 2 She was happy in this dream and smiling at me? Wish my good dreams of her were longer. Other dreams i can't recall right now. Dexter Had a dream about the Showtime Show character: Dexter. (A serial killer who only kills serial killers or other really bad people). In the dream I was him? I was stalking someone bad from where I work. Was planning to kill him. I was outside his living room window peering in at night. I couldn't get to him without causing a scene. I somehow made a copy of myself? (natural lucid ability???) And told my double to break in while I distract him. The window was open so I called my target over. Just had minimal chit chat when my double was walking by the living room. When the man wasn't looking I motioned the other me over. He went and knocked out the target. That's all I remember. Crazy I remember being in a large town. I remember driving at night for a bit trying to find something. Wound up outside a gated area with a bunch of people. Reminded me of the Sanctuary districts from that time travel episode of DS9 where all the homeless and undesirables are just hauled into ghettos. I enter one but I made sure I bought myself lots of food before entering. I went in with a group and lost touch with them. They stole all my food and belongings and disappeared into a large crowded area. Spent hours running up and down streets looking for them, and also into buildings. Somehow rewound the dream. I made sure to stay on top of my group to make sure i didn't lose all my things. But as I followed them trying to be in their group, they formed a tight circle and ran into the crowd again. I gave up and there was an empty hill nearby so I hung out there. At the top of the hill There was a large red ceramic or metal thing being used as something like a swing. Some blond girl was on top of it. I was under it but thought it was going to crush me. So i went out from under it. Dream fades.
23rd August 2021 Fragment: Meeting L, mom's old friend from teaching. We're in the ramped bit going out of the cul-de-sac just in front of home. She comments that she taking some interest in me. I comment that it's nice for someone to take interest in you and she agrees. T is with us and it feels more cramped than it should feel, even considering this bit of pavement isn't that wide; it seems smaller than it should actually be and I think there's some clutter nearby too. (gap) Seeing T's room, it's a bit Japanese in style and actually quite big. Apparently it's his own flat. Notes: - Rest of recall was gone as I woke up to the sound of the doorbell being rung many times within a second or two. I got up from bed and went to check, nothing. I ended up concluding that it must have only been some kind of hypnogogic hallucination from still being sleepy, it wasn't a false awakening and there are no pranksters in the street, plus it would be way too early for it. - I'm not entirely sure what could have brought on L as a dream character, I'm also not sure whether she's ever appeared before or not.
19th August 2021 Away from home at the time. Scraps: Something about a big drill at the tail end of a dream before waking. Before that, something more adventure-like. Another bit about S and A. But S was implied to have died and A was having a conversation with me, telling me all of this. In that moment I realise that was why we hadn't had any contact with her for a long time. 21st August 2021 Recall was good at first and dreaming presence was very decent too, lots of dreaming overall, but I was unable to write any recall down initially and it was left too long by the time I had another chance, meaning almost all detail was gone. Scraps: Something about dreaming and art. Last bit just before waking, I'm doing something charitable for someone. I'm somewhere like in Scotland and I remember moving around a fair bit. (in what way?) Notes: - I cannot know whether my dream realisation about A's husband has any truth or not, since we still haven't spoken. Sadly it's been years since we last spoke. - Dreaming about dreaming and art probably relates to some of the long-term lucid goals I have. - I'm not sure if I was still away on the 21st or not, possibly just after I had been. - I just realised while typing this DJ entry title that our host's husband passed away some years ago, perhaps this was what brought on the dream about A's husband, in some way.
16th August 2021 Left recall too long. Some in-line notes. Scraps: Some bit that initially takes place underwater but then it becomes more space-like, in a seamless way. RT messaging me on Discord. (but about what?) 17th August 2021 Fragment: (near the middle of a dream) I'm in some kind of space station (implied) but it's also like a hotel. A character that looks like Major Kira (DS9) lives here but some other characters she knows are unaware (of the fact that she lives here?). Something fast-paced is taking place. There was something else relating to me, but details gone. (some later segment) Outside at some ruins. It's dusk or something alike. There's a forest, maybe a pine forest. (I'm vaguely reminded of Hunger Games scenery, which I think at the time of this dream I saw MoonageDaydream had mentioned somewhere). I'm in a party group with MoonageDaydream and a random dream character. Moonage is separate from us at first, but then she comes to find us when I spot two solid chests (WoW) and tell the group to roll for the chests. I pass on rolling; I see the random DC's roll in a chat log. Another three-person group approaches us. They take one of the chests, which I find annoying; I don't think we can do anything about it because they're not hostile. I think we guard the other chest until Moonage arrives, because it would be hers to loot I think. (On waking I realised it would have been a better option to open the chest without auto-looting and keeping it open until she got there) (When I first spot the chests I think I wonder why I didn't have my treasure finding racial on. And all of this segment took place in first person but with UI elements present.)
14th August 2021 Had several long dreams but recall became very fragmented. Fragment: In a tower or castle of sorts. I have a position of power or influence, but whenever I try to get anything done find that my position is just a facade and a farce. At some point I'm in a treasure room of sorts. There are illuminated displays (did I mean display pedestals/stands?). Then another bit, something about a sword in water, in a sea but nearer the coast. Looks a bit like Azshara. The sword is unique in some way and belonged to a female character? Notes: - I think the sword thing and possibly female character may relate to thinking of conversations I'd had with OccipitalRed. The dream theme reminds me of some medieval trope (Warcraft is a medieval-style fantasy too) and the water/sea most likely relate to their non-conscious symbolic aspects. -- Interestingly I associate Azshara both with the land of that name and with female Naga in general. There's a lot of close associative linking going on here. - At the time of the dream, the position I had in the dream seemed relevant to something relating to waking life, but I cannot recall what anymore.
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