side notes

Jamie 1

A dream where she's leaning over a bed or something like she's been praying??? and she is saying to me, "I plan to reach out to you."

Ok. Heard that one before...

Dream 2

A dream that I was with Lucifer. But it was the one from ."Supernatural." (like the actor who plays him tho. He's ina ll my favorite shows, Dexter and LOST.) He was threatening something can't remember what.

Jamie 2

Another Jamie dream but I can't remember what it was about.

2022 July 4th

Long dream. Left recall a bit late and wasn't sure how to describe some bits. Didn't sleep well.

Fragment:

In the first part I am with H and another couple. We are in some kind of airport place? There's not that many people. I offer to pay for a trip to Germany to the other couple, which might be where they're from. I have some ulterior motive (can't recall what).

(recall gap)

Me and H arrive at some building in a car and then we have to go through some kind of trials and it's a bit like a game? The first notable room I recall is like a theatre hall and a bit of a church. It's kind of low for the type of hall it is. The wood in the hall seems to have a yellow tone like it's all gold leafed. Red curtains.

(recall gap)

Then I'm somewhere else with sibling T. Somewhere more like an industrial complex but on canyons. We try to connect some power things but I'm not sure what they do.

(recall gap)

In a similar kind of canyon area with floating sections and things like that. We are struggling to find the way from one floating section to the underside of an arching canyon. I use a kind of grapple thing and make it. On this small underside ledge, there is a mouth-like opening and clawed tentacles await and look aggressive. I keep myself teetering on the edge and holding on to the rock above with my left hand, using some weapon on my right hand to slowly pick off all the tentacles. My brother doesn't try to jump to the same ledge. After I've killed all the tentacles, I step toward the mouth opening and feel a bit annoyed this is the only way down. I don't particularly feel like getting wet. It looks fleshy at first but as I make my way down its oesophagus the experience seems to become more neon/digital and less accurate.

(recall gap)

In a more abstract place in which we have to run through over these procedural platforms and kill enemies. It feels like a CoD game.

(rest of recall lost)



2022 July 9th

Dream:

I'm outside on a street. I'm cutting down a streetlight post using one of my palette knives. Somehow, I'm managing alright to cut through the thick steel. But as I apply force, eventually the handle gives and breaks off from the blade.

Then I'm indoors at home. I'm asking H to fix the palette knife and saying I need to go back quickly to finish it. I mention that the wires inside could be live and half jokingly H says we could do with the insurance money.

Before that, outside on those same streets. They're not from any waking location. Looks more like from a game. Some house appears and disappears when I look in a certain direction. Before that I'm talking to mom but still in this place. I'm asking her about some hallucinations. She tells me that it could be because of the person I work for(?), inheriting their psychic stresses or something.

Scraps:

Earlier. Something at some kind of hotel place. (from earlier awakening)

V messaged me saying hello on Discord. I reply "Oh, hey" but can't recall anything else.



Notes:
- The oesophageal segment is probably the most memorable part of that dream, as at the time of writing this over a month later it's one of the few bits I can recall clearly, visually. It's also one of few occasions I've had of such nature, I think all of which have only happened in the last few years, despite the fact that themes of "consumption" have always been with me.
-- On spending a bit more time re-reading the dream, some of the rest of visual elements have come back to me. Some of the floating/canyon areas have similarities with some BL biomes.

- I think when I replied to V's message, that dream had ended and I woke up at that time.

deleted

K and I are in a cityscape environment with tall buildings. My view of the city around me is odd. When I look at something below me, my vision seems to "zoom in" and it's like my consciousness and dream body shifts to that location in the dream. We are on top of a tall building and there are large levitating platforms adjacent to other tall buildings. They are very far off and apart, impossible to be able to jump to by normal means. We leap through the air and land on these levitating platforms that look like they are made up of large white cubes, like video game platforms.

I feel the sensations vividly of leaping through the air, impossibly high compared to jumping in waking life (WL). I land on the platforms with ease and don't feel significant shock from the impacts.

Analysis/Interpretation:
I remember incubating Matrix-like jumping months ago and last year in 2021. After reading some articles on flying in dreams and LDs, I visualized jumping between rooftops and tall elevated platforms like in this dream. Very thrilling and fun. I've continued to listen to a dream incubation podcast episode on a Jungian analyst podcast that's talked about incubation. Maybe consciously thinking about incubation has brought forward a lot of past incubations. Very neat.

I am in a bathtub with K. We are intimate together.

Spoiler for Adult Content:

She is performing oral sex on me and I then perform oral sex on her. We are in shallow water in the bath. She climbs on top of me while I am lying flat on my back. She begins thrusting back and forth and up and down. The water is splashing and I am conscious of the noise. I feel that family members are outside the bathroom and might here us. The sensations are pleasurable.

Dream Signs:
Sexual content
Feeling embarrassed, overly self-conscious about affection and intimacy
Water

Analysis/Interpretation
I went to bed last night incubating and thinking about sexual content. I believe water in my dreams is often a symbolism of my emotional state, if it is not a literal indicator that I drank water close to bed time and feel that I need to wake up and urinate. Water often represents my emotional state in that it can be tranquil, deep, shallow, crashing, overwhelming. The water being shallow and me being in it, lying on my back and engaging in sexual content with my partner indicates a sense of purity or cleanliness.

I did not feel guilt in the dream engaging in intimacy with my partner as I often have with other dream figures. I often feel overly self-conscious in non-lucids that I am receiving attention from dream figures that are not my partner. I feel that the water symbolizes that our actions together are in a clean state and the water is something that we are in together. It responds to our actions but is not threatening, i.e. being deep, crashing, something that we could drown in.

I often feel very self-conscious about public displays of affection (PDA) (an embarrassing and shaming remnant from middle school where I received disciplinary action in school for my girlfriend and I hugging in the hallway before classes). This feeling of embarrassment and shame around PDA seems to be deeply rooted in my unconscious and even causes me to feel avoidant about PDA.

Yesterday in WL I listened to part of a Jungian Podcast on dream incubation. While at the gym, I thought about incubating a dream that I am at the gym. I had pretty good sleep hygiene last night; I went to bed early and didn't drink too much alcohol. I didn't have that much caffeine late in the day and found going to bed early was easy. Before going to bed, I did some stretching and massage work so that I could sleep all the way through the night without back pain or stiffness. I woke up around 2:30 AM and was awake for about an hour. I had a bowl of cereal and watched a YouTube video. I woke up and had great dream recall of my semi-incubated dream:

I am in the gym locker room and I am trying to find an available locker for my gym bag. I've changed out already into my gym clothes. The lockers are very dysmorphic, like they are on shelves and different heights and lengths and depths on the wall. I look for an open locker and some lockers are very high, above head height that I can barely reach. Others have zipper bags like duffel bags to place my gym bag into. Once I find my locker for my bag, I see that my GF is sitting on one of the wooden benches in the locker room as well. There are both men and women in the same locker room changing and storing their clothes.

I feel that she is mad or upset with me and she has two friends next to her that she is talking to. I feel jealous and she seems much more preoccupied and interested in spending time and talking with them. One of them is a thin Asian young man with long black hair. The other friend is blurry and I am unsure of any specific details other than medium height.

I exit the locker room and find myself in a large open field. There are dozens of people exercising. There is a large soccer field where people are playing. I walk south of the soccer field and see very strange looking gym equipment. There are large tables with gym padding like large machines you lay on your side to use. I walk alongside the soccer field and a group of players chasing after the ball are coming towards me. I see my girlfriend and her friends walking out to a workout station and I chase after the ball to interrupt the game to get attention. I feel childish doing this. I only act like I'm chasing after the ball then stop and continuing walking to my workout equipment destination.

2022 June 30th

Very disjointed. Left recall too late. Would like to make some proper side notes for this one too at some point.

Dream (DFLN):

I'm in a car in a town with mom. She's driving me around in a large and modern Nissan, trying to get me to a local airport I think. There are roadworks just about every way she thinks of taking. I try to suggest some routes she can take but she doesn't seem to want to listen to them and possibly mentions something about the fact that she's driven here for X many years and so on.

(recall gap)

I'm at some kind of palatial building, here for a fancy party or ball. I'm in what is my guest room at one point. I'm a woman, except for my private areas. Someone I met just earlier (forget who) left me a dress here in the room and I think about putting it on. It's a very simple dress and is a cream colour, slightly darker than my skin tone. I have wavy hair, possibly fake blonde. Putting the dress on in bed, I think about how a dress will still be revealing of male private parts. I feel uncomfortable with this but don't see what I can do about it and reason to myself that people generally don't look to that sort of area and that I can to do things like sit down and such to possibly not make it as noticeable.

A bit later I'm at a dinner at a long table. The fancy palatial theme remains. This theme seems to feature primarily white, cream/pink and gold as colours. Somewhat plain while still being lavish.

(recall gap)

I'm still a woman. I'm with Hilary. (from DV, i.e., here!)

We're talking about dreams and artwork. I am supposed to have made three artwork commissions for her but I haven't made them yet and feel guilty. We're somewhere outside and it's night time. It's grassy and open, I'm not sure there's anything taller in the horizon that I can see.

In the sky I see the three commission ideas fading in and out as stars. The first one is a crescent moon, the second a side portrait of a woman with hair tied back, and finally something else which I've lost recall of. Hilary doesn't seem upset with me for not having finished these commissions yet, but I still feel disappointed with myself.

We talk a bit more and then she takes me to some physical threshold, maybe a door. I think she wants me to come with her to a dream?

(recall gap)

I'm my usual self again and at a bulk buy super market. Possibly a Makro (which I don't think I've ever been to). I am unfamiliar with the layout but I look around for things with confidence.

I find some frozen chips and think about the price. I see they cost 2.1 for 2.5 and I reason that at 1.5 for 1.5 normally, this is slightly better and I grab a bag. Then, I wander the shop trying to think what else I want and as I feel like I actually didn't want much more, the shop also gets noticeably smaller and is more like a convenience store now.

I look around again and see some socks, making me think that H might like some but I don't know the size and I don't want any for myself because they look too loose. I see a basement stairs bit and there's a bunch of plushies in a large metal cage basket thing next to the stairs. I think about getting some. They feel fluffy. They cost 60 each though and I think to myself that I really can't afford to pay this for a plushie and feel a little sad. At this point I also start to feel self-conscious and don't check out downstairs, which seemed to have Lego and more toys. So I leave to go the tills. At some point a fat man near me is coughing and I think I comment that I just had COVID and don't really want to get it again so soon.

(recall gap)

I'm in a rural area. It's late afternoon. I'm with two men, dream characters I think. They are messing around a bit and one has a mini bike thing (7D2D intrusion?). I am on a field side of a wooden fence and they're on the road. As I walk along, I come to a tan coloured cow. She's on the floor and at first I think she's asleep, but then I see the side of her muzzle and see it looks to be rotting, with a hole about the size of a gold ball and with some tendons showing through or something. Difficult to describe. I feel somewhat unsettled and I'm also worried for the farmer now. But I think we should get out of here before we get mistaken for having done something to the cow.

We go up a small hill road and we come to a building with a store or something. Then there are four of us and we decide something about super powers. Then inside a building it's a bit like a factory or foundry.

(rest of recall was too vague)

2022 June 27th

Some bracketed in-line notes. I need to return to this dream and make some fuller notes when I feel able to, hopefully soon.

Fragment:

Something about a (dream) country relating to the Iberian peninsula. This small country is located just over the north east of the USA at where a tip of Canada would be and seems to be in-between these two countries. I see some statistic or just know that there are less than 1.5 million inhabitants. (Oddly enough, on one of the weeks after this dream, I was looking at this general region with satellite views, based on some conversations I was having with LF)

(recall gap?)

Then I'm in my native country but I'm a character that's not me exactly. I need to get to the embassy on one side of a plaza, something about a passport? It's night time and there's a large government building on one side of the plaza with a few prominent uplighting spots. Neo-classical or classical-revivalist architecture. There are police officers in the area, probably due to this building. I think one of them comes over to me when I wander more to the middle near the government-y building. The officer turns out to be a woman and I ask where the embassy is. She tries to help me but after a while of her taking me through some streets and construction sites I start to wonder if my interests are at heart.

At one point I notice some workers at a construction site giving me/us a funny look or something? Some part of me thinks that it's odd that there's construction work going on at night.

(recall gap)

Then I'm at a fancy house place. Lots of detailed cornicing and mirrors on the walls and ceilings which have some kind of abstract Greek themed theatrical show going on, it looks like it's projected but I don't see any projector and may assume that the surface is able to display something like a screen would, despite its curved contours. There's a largely classical theme. The walls and cornicing are all white and it's fairly bright in here, though there's something of a mood light thing going on, mostly cool tones.

I'm here with my cousin T and H. T's wearing some kind of cream or pink silk pyjamas and I rest my head on her crotch and I close my eyes and she pets and strokes my head. I think about how it'd be inappropriate if I became aroused and I also think about how I might not be able to help it. I hold on to or hug her leg. (Similarities to having been awake and holding H, possibly partly awake as this dream segment was happening)

Then we show her to her bed, in size it's somewhere between a single and a double and she gets upset notably upset about this. I think the room is dark/we didn't switch the lights on?



Notes:
- I'm not sure what would have been the source for the first segment in this fragment, but I can recall some years ago I had a discussion with a friend (K) on the subject of countries with lower populations.

- I feel that for some weeks now I've been having dreams that are on parallel to schemas like that of the second segment here. Dreams in which I'm not strictly speaking my normal "self" as a character and in which I have all the same type of agency, decisions and worries as I normally would. Sort of related, today (16th of July) I wrote a bit on another journal about the somewhat lengthy absence of any other inner voices or personalities and a general absence of visual imagination among other things.
-- In reality I'm not sure how frequently I've been having these dreams (of "not myself" exactly) because I haven't thought of a tag or way of categorising them, and right now I'm thinking that I should go back through my DJ a bit at some point and find out how many instances there really are and how far back do they go; it's possible that at the moment I'm just paying more attention to this particular type of schema.

- As hinted towards, I have recently had some worries/thoughts about passport renewal and sort of by extension also about travelling. Specifically, to my old home.

- T's presence in this dream follows common patterns that the rest of her appearances in have in my dreams, but I can't remember any time specifically in which she got as upset as in this dream, about the bed. As I recall, I understood in the dream that she was upset that the bed wasn't big enough. Even in the dream, the way she stroked my head reminded me of what it was like to be a child.
-- I think segments like this one in dreams call me to create a different journal with a different complexity from what I've been doing. This type of DJ simply cannot fit into it the type of analysis that some of these dreams practically seem to be demanding of me.

2022 June 21st

Fragment:

Me and H travel to a place called Chapeling that's apparently near London in southern England. It's a 300 mile drive from where we were? We go there to have a look at this small pipe organ that sits in a little chapel building which is beside a main church building.

Overcast day outside. Town streets and so on.


2022 June 22nd

Fragment:

Something about showing someone a little organ. At some kind of concert or theatre hall, a vast one at that, but the wood all seems very bare like all its polish has worn off and nobody has taken care of the place for a while.

(recall gap)

Something about needing to get some homework done. I have my black laptop bag with me and whatever I need for my homework is in there I think. I keep being distracted or pulled away from doing it and later I am climbing some kind of abstract structure made up of large red long nailed bony hands. It's part of some kind of dimensional portal or threshold.

Later, on the other side of said portal. Something about Warcraft 3 game mechanics. I want to buy a mini town hall item and destroy a human settlement to take their gold mine.


2022 June 25th

Fragment:

I'm outside, at a Lidl car park. It's about seven in the morning and it's light but not as bright as it should be for this time of the year. I'm deciding whether I should get closer and do some shopping or not. There's a white man in the parking lot. He's getting some stuff ready round the back of his car. At some point I realise the shop won't be open for another hour at least. I dither about for a while, wondering if I should bother crossing the road and going back home or if I should just wait it out. I think it may have felt a bit cool outside.



Notes:

- Trying to look for a place called "Chapeling" somewhere near London didn't really result in anything. I suspect the location name in the dream was simply tied to the context of the attached chapel. I've not heard the word before, not in any situation that I can think of anyway, but it's a fairly straightforward construction and likely easily created by automatic and associative dream logic and the like.

- Unfortunately, I've lost any visual recall I might have had of the abstract structure made up of red hands, which is a shame really because these are often the type of things I like to try and recreate in art. I might still try recreating something alike if I can think of a composition I like.
-- I still have some visual recall of the rest of the dreaming in this entry, at the time of writing.

- For some reason I've come to use dithering as an expression more often of late; it's not a new expression to me, but it's not one I've typically used a lot.

2022 June 20th

Some in-line notes too.

Dream:

I'm walking through a small town that could be somewhere in my native country. Small houses, ground floor only. Trims and so on as expected. I'm with dad and cousin T. It's daytime, probably morning. Dad is taking photos and as we get to the top of a hill in the town, I see a somewhat breathtaking view of distant rolling hills much like this one, with pink cherry tree plantations here and there, interspersed with some vivid green leafed trees of similar size.

I tell dad he should hurry up to get to where I am, so he can take a photo. As time passes, the landscape or the point of view seem to change (I might be walking down the other side now) and I fear he won't be able to get a clear and unobstructed shot anymore. I lose track of my cousin. At some point she was telling dad about these aliens that live here with the villagers, whom she calls "Aarkvaads", but dad misunderstands that those would be the villagers rather than the aliens.

(recall gap)

Me and dad arrive at some rustic old restaurant. We climb up some stairs and take a seat at a table by the stairs and by a window. Daytime seems consistent with before but it's relatively dark in here due to the windows being a bit short in height. A guy that reminds me of G from school but who is a unique character, comes up to the table; he's our server. (Can't recall the dialogue)

I need the bathroom now and make my way down two flights of the wooden stairs. At the bottom, I'm not sure if I'm getting into the kitchen area by accident, but I go a bit further and find it is indeed the bathroom area. There's no outside light here, it's dark apart from some poorly placed and dim fluorescent tubes that are clearly too old. I think dad comes down too also looking for the bathroom. I go into this somewhat overly large and polygonal shaped room past a glass door that is barely frosted for privacy. The toilet is adjoining the doors' wall and the area feels dilapidated and unclean. I get ready to have a wee. I'm wearing my normal grey work trousers and it feels cumbersome to deal with everything.

Then I somehow start worrying about the fact that dad can probably see through that pointless frosting. I think I have a short wee and then give up, then leaving the room with dad going past me to use the room himself. Something happens and he slips I think? (Mostly comical in nature if anything)

Then, I'm at the mid level of the building, where the entrance is. I think I want to go outside? It's bright and different from before outside.

(recall gap)

I am outside and the restaurant is located at a sort of edge of a sedimentary cliff. Yellow-ish sandstone. It's sandy out here and there's no vegetation to speak of. It's an immense valley with sharp sand-dusted peaks. The server from before is out here, having a break or a cigarette. He's some kind of furry "bat boy" now, slightly taller than me. At some point earlier, I think there was something about a UI thing about choosing how he looked. Red is heavy to his colour theme and his fur almost looks soaked in dark blood, but not wet.

We talk, or I overhear something. Something about a rebellion? Other locals that are with him have assault rifles, Kalashnikovs probably.

Before this I think I actually had a bit of a walk around. There's this large plaza and some kind of Christian procession ritual is taking place. The entrance to the temple is where they want to go, and that's also (an?) the entrance back into the restaurant? They are standing still enough and I make my way through the very dispersed but neatly laid out small crowd, though as I get closer to the large doors the main ritual seems to be moving forward too. Not wishing to interrupt anything, I stop myself next to a tall older woman. It's daytime, about noon. The plaza reminds me of that in front of church of L. The walls to the side of the entrance are smooth eroded sandstone which bulge out every so often. (In retrospect, some of this sandy/rocky scenery reminds me of James' realm in Sacrifice, and as a God, James is perhaps more Christian in a sense than the other four)

Now, when the rebellion thing is starting, the sky goes dark and there's a heavy blue tinted atmosphere, and for lack of better description, the stench of magic is in the air. I'm in a party with sibling T and notice he's at a location called "Crystallarium Caverns", not at all the valley location I'm in. He doesn't realise that we're in different locations when we talk via chat. Fighting happens around me and I look up over the temple/restaurant and see there's a female spellcaster. She seems to be wearing something slightly harlequin-like. She has an enormous book that in width would be the height of four people, and I see her enounce some kind of runes which make a visible effect coming out of the book as she speaks each one. She throws down fire magic at the rebels and around me.

I start to get sick of her spellcasting and somehow reach my way up to her book (distortion of scale/point of view?) and then I hurl it down toward a much lower tier of the valley, intent on making it land in some water. But she uses some kind of TK to slow the books fall and it doesn't reach or touch the water. I think to myself that I should have jumped with the book. But as it rises back up, I can read its runes on a page now. Each page is organised as a kind of mandala with a number of circumscriptions for each rune. I try to read them aloud myself but I'm not sure about the pronunciation.

I think eventually we beat the spellcaster woman, but the rest of the dream recall is lost after this point.



Notes:

- This dream was particularly vivid and part of that may have been due to the fact that I barely managed to sleep the two preceding nights, on one of which I felt to have had a brief dreamless sleep, which always makes me feel odd for the rare times it happens.
-- Not sleeping was mostly on account of being ill.

- The runes in the book remind me a bit of the node tree in FFX, which I've seen recently after this dream, but given that they appeared more like mandalas it may have been an intrusion either from a discussion I had with my mom or from something relating to Jung. Whatever the source, I have thought about trying to replicate the layouts I saw in the dream.

- G and his bat form reminded me of Troy from BL3 for some reason. I think something about the posture and a drawing I did of Troy some time back. It's odd that it's the second time in not too long that I've dreamt about a bat character. Part of it may be an intrusion from the fact that someone's character I'm drawing lately is a bat, but it didn't feel especially related to that. (Different gender, different morphology/species)

- In the second half of the dream, there was something about the Aarkvaad aliens that was relevant to the context, but through my recall of the dream, I couldn't really pick it back up and so I'm not sure how they actually related. Searching for Aarkvaad online didn't really yield anything interesting and past the dream's context is probably a mish-mash word that sounded alien enough.

- The temple plaza felt very much like being in front of the actual church that it likely had inspiration from, which is interesting for the fact that I had that dream not too long ago where I was at a much more accurate version of said plaza/church. There was something more ancient and mythological about this dream's temple and the procession ritual that was taking place seemed to relate to that. In the dream part of my modern waking behaviour took hold where I was able to just go through the group without caring too much about the effect I might have on it, but as the ritual seemed to begin, my behaviour reverted to something more alike what I always learned to do, which in a sense is to give them space and not get in the way. I think as I walked there I thought about people who are careless and those who care too much, perhaps partly reflected in my responding behaviours.
-- Also curious to the ritual aspect was the fact that I was an outsider to it, even though to me it felt very familiar and normal. I just had no place in it myself; perhaps a symbolic expression or metaphor in itself.

Some small in-line notes and such.


2022 June 13th

Quick note to self, this was also the date of the appointment.

Fragment:

(left recall too late)

I'm in a mountain town or such. It's sunny, mostly clear. At some point my friend K calls me, but I think I miss her call.

Later in the dream, something about water. Not as sunny now? I think I speak to K on the phone now, but it's like I'm also next to her too? (vague recall) She tells me that she wanted to invite me to a party before, and I apologise for missing the party. She then tells me that her dog G has died. I say that I'm sorry to hear it, and I hear her voice breaking a bit and I feel myself close to crying too, knowing very well what her pain will be like. We talk about something else for a bit.


2022 June 15th

Fragment:

I'm in a street, I have a dog with me. She looks like S but has worse behaviour and at one point "play" bites me, a bit too hard on the left wrist. I look for a wound but don't notice any, and then I think about how it actually didn't hurt all that much.

(gap)

Someone else was present in the dream up to this point, though now I think I'm on my own with the dog again, at a place that is supposed to be like a veterinary practise. A vet person gives the dog an injection. After about ten seconds, the dog is numb and she can't really move at all. I pick her up and put her on a conveyor belt thing. There's a dark atmosphere/mood. The dog is here to be put down. I feel sad, and also think that it's a shame she couldn't have had better behaviour.

(there had been more context to the situation but these were the bits of recall I lost in the gap)


2022 June 16th

Scraps (DFLN):

Many dreams. Only recall one dream where I was in a dark room with zombies. They seemed slightly aggressive, but not entirely.

(Although I was playing 7d2d at the time, I also became ill with Covid after this)

2022 June 2nd

Dream:

I'm at some kind of garden/arena place. A quite big round building, at any rate. There's a feel of old home to it. Some walls are white?, with I think a blue trim running along some of the edges. The exterior perimeter is decorated with aquatic and palm motifs in small tile mosaics. Vivid colours. It's sunny.

I walk around until I get to an entrance to the central area that goes up and in. As I walk around, there are grape-like husks that I'm stepping on, they're a dead blue, but nice somehow. It took me a while to realise they're the fruits of some of these plants. Some kind of leafy canes, which arc with the weight of their fruits. The other side has small banana things instead, but both plants are the same with different fruits. On the upper area inside, I remark to H who's nearby, that it looks like one half of the garden is one fruit and the other half is the other fruit, and there seems to be a clear divide.

I feel that this could be related to sunlight and shade. The grapes on the plant are actually white grapes (green), unlike the blue-ish husks on the floor. I remember picking and holding one. I think I ask H if he's tried one of the banana fruits. I'm not sure if he should eat it.


2022 June 6th

Fragment:

(Last bit at the end of a longer dream. Didn't write recall early enough.)

I'm with H and he's kind of doing his own thing, and I'm descending a vertical mineshaft he's made, digging my way downward through its sides. It's a mix of Minecraft and BL. At the bottom I find myself in a dark but vast cavern. I can still see fine. I see sapphires close to me and I tell H to look at how many there are, an almost 5x5 area on a wall. Then, I find a waypoint like those from Diablo II. I think to myself about how rare this area is to find naturally generated.

The cavern has a mostly flat ceiling and I can't quite see the bottom, but pillars at irregular intervals make a kind of vaulted cavern ceiling. (Similar to some BL cave generation)

In the distance, I see more sapphires around and eventually after walking along a sort of suspended highway, avoiding some annoying mobs along the way, I find an underground stone fortress which is mstly made of stone brick and which has patterned features with encrusted sapphire ores.


2022 June 8th

Scraps:

I'm in a village or town. Like rural areas around old home. I'm passing in front of a building where lots of people gathered. They're all queueing or waiting.

Some other bit, with mom and H. Something about driving. A crossing? A woman in a dress?



Notes:

- There was something yin/yang about the first dream's location but it also reminds me of places and experiences from my childhood.

- At the time of the second dream, me and H had been playing Minecraft again a fair bit. I'm not entirely sure why there was a D2 waypoint in there but it may have been because of the dream that Hilary shared on DFLN just a week earlier or so, as Diablo hadn't really been much on my mind otherwise.

- Inside the cavern areas, there were openings above that let some natural light in. There were interesting light effects, though even so I couldn't really see a bottom to the pillared cave areas at any point.

2022 May 31st

Dream (DFLN):

I'm in Netherstorm, in Outland. It is an entirely dream-generated version of it but thematically consistent. I think about how it looks different with "the revamp" and I see people talk about it on a chat too. I go down a long path on a floating island with a downwards tilt, which seems to get steeper. The path curves around and goes into a cavernous area. There's an artificial pit that goes deep into the void and there's a presence here, who speaks. The structure in the pit here is very much like something right out of Icecrown Citadel, just sort of inverse.

There's an ominous feel, though I do not feel worried myself. I think we discuss something about the world. Eventually, I leave, back up the same path.

Then, I wake up as a white woman, in a bed in a room that's somewhat exposed to the outside. Some kind of global event has taken place that froze the vast majority of people in the world, who then, like me, wake up seven years later. I find out by talking to someone I think that all of us who had this happen, have become undead. More is explained to me (but I lost recall of it) and there's something about a king Henry. At several points, I question this a little, because I can't really tell that we are undead at all. And eventually my body is different/changes again. (but I don't realise while dreaming)

Eventually, wandering the streets of this city, I come upon a group of people. They're beyond a wall slightly shorter than I am tall, but the wall also isn't that short (dream weirdness); the group of people is chanting as a group and they all look like cultist hobos. I pass through the wall like a ghost and they are surprised, and then I start shaking a pepper grinder ritualistically and they become very frightful of me and what I'm doing. I walk slowly towards them, and I comment out loud, almost laughing, "this is superstitious non-sense!" and they eventually run away in complete fear.

Just nearby in this small street, which could be Japanese for how tight it is and some of the styling/layout, I meet Patrick Stewart by the entrance to a house. Patrick seems annoyed by what I did, but is apparently not holding it against me. We talk about something. I get the impression that he is not undead like me.



Notes:

- Writing this nearly a month later, the visuals are still pretty good, fairly memorable dream.

- I made a sketch of the ICC pit shortly after having had this dream.

- The undeath seemed to be like that which happens in the Souls universe.

2022 May 23rd

Unknown time
Fragment:

Something about going with H to meet up this businessman for some kind of financial assessment. Looks a bit like Goldfinger? We drive there I think.

8:15
Dream:

I'm at a version of our home. A detached house in the middle of some woods. It's really dark outside, realistically pitch black. We have a lorry outside that we have been loading stuff into, for moving house. I go to it and check inside. I'm attacked by Meowth (Pokemon) who jumps off the lorry top to attack me. I grab him and threaten to break his neck if he doesn't tell me who else is here. He says something and I understand Jessy and James to be here too.

I have a quick look around outside, but as I do, I see a red glow. They've gotten in the lorry and are going to back it up. I try to open the passenger side door, but a slightly fat man keeps trying to shut it so I just start slamming it open and shut so that he might lose grip, having no such luck. I decide to try and jump up on the bonnet. I do, and then I'm sort of sat there looking at the both of them. I think the other one is actually Jessy. I have my boots on and I use them to smash the two bits of windshield, then putting my feet through and starting to kick the crap out of the two of them, one foot each. This is all happening as they're reversing and driving around, now onto a roundabout of all places.

I see three Humvees with military police with blue arm bands inside the cars and I repeatedly yell for help from them as I keep fighting the burglars with my feet, trying to indicate with my hands that they've stolen the lorry. The thieves are different people now (both male).

The military police finally take position and aim at the lorry. I'm still kicking the thieves like hell. The police take their time but eventually start shooting. I take to opportunity of the shots hitting the lorry to somehow swing myself around and change the centre of mass for the lorry, making it topple on its side, passenger side at the bottom. One of the thieves gets out from the top and the police shoot him dead, making me briefly think about how close to me that was, but not dwelling on it.

Possibly moving the corpse or something, I sort of get into the cabin from the top and start kicking and stomping on the second thief and yelling "Get the hell out of my truck!" and such like.

Eventually, the thief gives up and is arrested. I'm not fully content with the outcome, having wanted them both dead, by my hands, or feet as it were.

I check the back of the lorry now. Inside, the contents have all gone and there's just a long and thin compressed cardboard box that everything should be in, though nothing is actually inside. Eventually, I get back home and I'm talking to H about it. I ask if we can't get some insurance payment for all the stuff we lost but he says we haven't got any. I am disappointed but say with confidence we'll manage somehow.

9/10:00
Fragment:

Subway, with someone. Some kid bumps us, he wants company? Then we get the kid to come round to some house or piano shop place, and we show him my dad playing the piano. Later I/we return to the same place, but dad doesn't remember the moment from before when it's brought up.



Notes:

- The long dream about the theft wasn't really a bad dream but it was quite vivid and somewhat intense.

- Probably one of the most fun dreams I've had in a while, as even in the dream I did quite enjoy stomping on those thieves repeatedly. Even so, at the end I did feel very disappointed about losing so much of our stuff and being able to get nothing back for it.

- My feet are rarely weapons of choice unless a situation really calls for it and I have my boots on, which in fairness is always these days.

2022 May 20th

Fragment:

Mix of NMS and Satisfactory. Exploring planets and looking around. Some general funkiness of generation clipping into itself. Then I build some gas tank thing on a planet and see about building a smoke stack on top, I think H is commenting something to me about this.

Then I'm in the bathroom with H sharing a (false) memory of how they're going to add warp rifts and super drills and I figure they'll let you get infinite resources from procedural planets in this way. (I partly live some of this as I imagine the false memory)


2022 May 22nd

Dream:

Some bit in a town. Dawn, or dusk, clear sky, quite beautiful colours. Slightly Arabic feel to the area, buildings painted fully in white. I'm walking around, or sort of spectating as an observer perhaps. There's a king who has a knight, possibly me. The knight has reached some kind of seniority and they talk as they walk together. Some kind of relationship subtext? Holding hands together?

Then some bit in a fortified area, like a castle or barracks in the middle of this town. False memory of having trained here and such. I think it's night at the moment. There are many devices and traps part of the training course. Some bellows that are pumped with your feet that you must stand by or jump on? I talk to H about them (as if outside this area?)

(recall gap)

Like Freelancer now. The spacescape is more realistic and reminds me of remastered Homeworld. Most of space is dark in this area. There's a nebula nearby, large orange glow coming from inside. There are remnants of large framed mega structures insides, made more obvious by shadows cast by the glow, despite the otherwise foggy nature of it all. There's other debris in there too. I fly towards the nebula in first person on a ship. I fly past one of those asteroid stations, possibly like Ruiz base, in Omega-41? I don't think too much of it, but something is weird.

I notice there's a clone of the base very close by, the name on the clone sounds like the right name, while the first one had a name like Event Spawner 03, which makes me think of something having gone wrong with a story or mission script. As I go into the nebula and into or through one of the mega structures, I start noticing some bio-metallic creatures, very geometrically shaped. They're small and start approaching me in numbers, turning into swarms eventually, starting to seem dangerous now as they keep approaching. So I turn around and head towards the station from before. I try to dock, but I get confused with the asteroid base entities. Anyway, after I manage to dock, it looks like a Rheinland station inside, and I walk around and maybe look at some equipment and stuff.

(recall gap)

Then something at a very different place, much more fantasy like. (unfortunately, recall was lost)



Notes:

- Two space dreams. At the time I had been playing or had recently played NMS after a long break from it, so that was a likely cause for them.

- Dreams based on Freelancer and generally spun off general space sci-fi stuff I am particular about remain amongst the most interesting non-lucid dreams I have, certainly when discounting any further analysis like symbolisms and such. The general feeling of reality in these dreams tends to be fantastic and despite any weird stuff that might happen (such as the clipping, which happened in another space dream too, possibly after these), I often get a really strong urge to want to revisit these. I don't know what it is about them exactly, but I think part of it is that they are so refreshing when I think about stuff I have otherwise already mapped out fairly well in my head, especially in the case of Freelancer where I know most of its "Sirius sector" universe like the back of my hand.

- On that note, having fully played through the remastered Homeworld a couple of months ago was a great contribution to this mental content, as the reworked spacescapes are just perfect for me, especially tonally.

- I made a 3D scene of the mega structure part and the nebula, but I have not made a render of it as I was not satisfied with shadow-casting yet. I'll still tag this with the bonus image tag anyway.
-- The little swarm creatures were not made for the scene, but I also sketched them and they resembled some little enemy things from Strafe.

- The first part to the second dream was interesting. I have had a few other such dreams that have less focus on myself as a dream character, and they tend to have interesting themes, though I need to make the time to introspect on them a bit at some point, as I never do.