side notes

Well we seem to be past that hurdle. Whatever it was.

Short lucid

For some reason I was going to school with my brother. I was really annoyed that I had to go to school. I got pissed off and went to wait in my brother's car.
Became lucid randomly. I then remembered I often dream of Jamie in a school so I went in to look for her. I said out loud, "Now to find Jamie." As soon as I said that. It's like I was hit with a sleep dart. I opened a random door, and heard strange sounds like people talking but with a lot of reverb. I just fell on the floor and woke up.

Strange

Very nonsensical dream with Jamie. I was lying down and prparing a giant gold thing?!?!?!?! Jamie was waiting by a door and she started looking impatient. like "Hurry up already."

Definitely one of those dreams that only makes sense when you dream.


Kissing who?

I was in a room made of blankets and pillows?!?!?!? Some girl came in who seemed familiar. She smiled and we started kissing. Her face kept changing in front of me. I said, "I keep seeing your face change! I think I'm cheating." The girl looked flustered and left.

I think it was Jamie... Oops!

What?

Long dream.

I went to a farmhouse. looked like desert. I went into the basement. A bunch of people covered in a white suit started attacking me. Somehow I made it outside and spied on the people behind the fence. The people in white suits took them off. Now they were preteens in army gear... And Donald Trump was leading them.. confusing dream.

Hmm

I'm working at Walmart covering the Door greeter shift. Jamie walks by towards the Mcdonald's on her break and says something snarky to me. (Seems to be a replay of a real life thing from 2011. If I recall she wasn't saying anything snarky. But I do recall it's one of the first times she was going out of her way to talk to me.)

Hopefully the dreams get better.

I remember barely anything over the past couple of days.

2 dreams from the night before.

both were of Jamie talking to a fake version of me. Can't remember what the fake me was saying but I remember Jamie saying, "No Robert! Doing that would break us up I'm not going to do that!" Is she referring to using my temptations via the voice, to explore her temptations? I won't say much but that's what's been happening.. not only do we have fake voices in our heads telling lies. now there's fake me and Jamie... in our dreams doing the same thing. The struggle is real. Well hopefully by now, we've learned our lesson, NOT to entertain the very thing she was warned about from my dreams...

Last night

Where is it?

I was walking in a different town with a group of people. I kept seeing a sign for a piano store or something. It existed in a large shopping building. I had trouble navigating the place trying to find the store but got thrown out by security from accidentally entering a VIP area. I went in through another section and found the store. My memory fades after.


Where is she?

I was in the mall again. with a bunch of people. There was this place with a high tile ceiling. something happened to the roof and one section of the tiles fell. The rest of the ceiling was going to give way. I climbed up some corner to escape by the ceiling. I sat there looking at the people below wondering why they weren't leaving the room from the imminent danger. And where was Jamie, and how come I hadn't seen her in a dream in so long? This got me upset. "Come back Jamie." I said to myself and started crying. (My sad emotions are like 100x in dreams) I was almost expecting her to enter the room then, but I didn't want her to see me like this so I went further into the tunnel and woke up.

I don't know if any old-school dreamviews members are still around. But, I regret to inform you all that former DV member: Cacophony (Chloe Rose) has passed away from stage 4 cancer. I used to interact with her a lot on DV maybe 2009'ish? She leaves behind a young daughter. Kind of hit me hard today for an hour or so... anyone younger than me or in my age group when they pass... I count myself lucky. We attempted to share dreams for a short stint. She did tell me I actually dreamed of something she did in waking life, she said hoped my strange skill takes me places.

Also, Possible Jamie sighting again. I was in olds, had to take a detour and while turning caught a girl in a maroon car beaming at me. Hair tied back or in braids. Face: familiar. It was hard to tell because it was only a split second. Hard to tell because when it comes to Jamie, The universe likes to fuck me in the ass... literally.

Anyway dreams.

New girlfriend

I'm with Jamie at a highschool. She somehow convinces me to get a new girlfriend or something. It's some slightly chubby girl. later we are "going out." I kiss her goodbye at the end of the school day. The kiss doesn't feel right at all... but I say as I'm walking away. "Goodbye my girlfriend!". She just stares at me dumbfounded or something. I walk away with Jamie and say, "She didn't even respond." Jamie said, "She's not the right one then."

building

I'm going from a top floor of a large building to downstairs through a series of rooms set up like an obstacle course. I breeze through most of it pretty easy. On one floor the memorable part was running into two cheetahs. They were really friendly though.

Work

some dream about a new job or something. can't remember.

Almost lucid

I was with Jamie somewhere... had a False Awakening. I was in a bedroom that felt like it was mine. There was some obscure music playing. it sounded like Classic rock, but with grunge. I remember thinking the song was annoying. Then it stopped and I heard a radio guy talking. It sounded like Gibbrish and then it ended. Saw a weird panting on the wall. It kept changing shape. I was about to be lucid but woke up.

Troll

Me and Jamie are walking in a white area, By a wall there's a 3 foot high troll... it's female with blond hair but a wierd face. Jamie says, "Hey, I think that might be your girlfriend." I stop and ask the troll, "Who is your boyfriend?" The troll I think is going to point at me but it points to the floor between my feet. I took it as a Yes and picked up the troll to give her a hug.

FA, The troll is on top of my in my bed. I jump up in shock and it makes me wake up for real.

Why is Jamie trying to get me a new, "Girlfriend." in dreams. I already have Asuka, and Jamie... Is she testing telepathy again trying to make me say a key phrase? Well STOP it. I'm not an experimaent... Kinda miss the affecionate dreams.

Had some issues sleeping the past few nights. But I had one fragment.

Had a rough day with Jamie's ( voice) today...

Forgot to mention last entry. I had two fragments of Jamie practicing hairstyles on a dummy or something.

Fragment

I was in a classroom or library with Jamie. There was a large white computer tower or something. It was really sleek, like a ps5 . Jamie went over to touch it.

Last fragment was something about asuka and Jamie in my house.

Before bed I was reading a novel and when I went to sleep the story just continued on throughout the night in my dreams. I kept waking up with the characters and plot going through my head and I could hear the characters voices. There were no visuals, it felt like I just never stopped reading and the experience continued.


I haven't been carrying on any dream related practices in quite a while now. It just takes so much effort for so little results for me. I'm just thinking about my motives for lucid dreaming in general right now.

I've always been fascinated by various ways of exploring altered experiences. Gaming being a big one that dominated my life early on. I touched on some psychedelics a bit but never went too deep because I would rather have control over having an intense experience.

I guess freedom and control are things I've been chasing in my life, two things I didn't have much of early on. Escaping the status quo has always been my default means of viewing my life. I couldn't accept things most people take as totally normal. Like spending 8 hours of my day working, couldn't stand it.

Ever since my first accidental lucid dream at around ~8 or so years old, I've looked at the phenomenon as a sort of anchor point in a way. That there is a potential world inside of me that offers complete freedom and creativity, even if it is brief and difficult to achieve.

Not sure where I'm going with this, I think it's just that I haven't been happy with the way this experience of life has been. It's just felt restrictive and plain and the potentials for it to be otherwise are just so high. With how technology is going the future generations may be having the kinds of experiences I wish I had in this time. I mean, even in the next 40 years things should get pretty interesting, so barring anything crazy happening I'll probably be able to experience that.

I guess I'm just bored.

Still confusing stuff going on with the voice... Really hope it gets resolved soon. I've had it..

Jamie dreams

Only one night out of the 3 nights had Jamie.

In one she is by a white pickup truck and jokingly giving me shit about something.

In another fragment. She is next to me on a street in Didsbury and she seems happy with me.

Last fragment is I'm seeing her sit by a window with a child sitting on her lap.


Almost lucid.

I'm walking with someone in a highschool. ( Might be Jamie) . I start floating but it seems normal. I cross my legs in mid air but still go walking level and speed. I float up to a landing above some office doors and walk along it. Some Filipina woman is sitting on top of a ladder leading to the landing. Forget what happened after.

Last night. I sensed fragments. Don't recall Jamie.

Well, we got attacked again. I tried to get Raven to help but of course, her dream friends also got attacked, so she spent some nights trying to resolve that.

Suspected Jamie drive by again. This time outside my place as it was getting dark. The car turned down the alley where my backyard is facing. Although it was hard to see due to some branches, it was the quick head turn that was the give away, and the hair. This on the same day of my distressing post. Maybe she was checking on me? Different vehicle again... Maybe I'm just paranoid and seeing what I wanna see. Maybe she borrows a family or friends vehicle. This reminds me of a Tik Tok post Emily King made a while ago on this sort of thing: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMMqVB6sw/

[COLOR="#800080"]Warehouse[COLOR]

I was forced to work in a strange warehouse. There were these tiny rooms against a large wall but they were all connected. Everyone was supposed to go into the tiny rooms and do something I forget. I was put into a room and there was a tiny window next to me. I looked inside and saw two men being gay. Won't go into detail.

Then I had false memories of Jamie being with me earlier, but people had separated us.

This made me angry so I smashed through all the walls and knocked some people over. Some short black guy teleported to me trying to fight. He was jumping up and down really fast trying to be hard to hit. I put my hand on the top of his head to keep him there. He couldn't escape but then my memory fades.

The rest of the night I had 2 short dreams. I was trying to find Jamie but kept running into two women with cloth gags in their mouths. They kept saying Jamie was busy but to play with them. I wasn't having it

Next night.

Left on read

I was in a construction place with my dad and brother. I kept pulling out my phone and looking for messages from Jamie. There was an old message saying she needed space or something. Work was boring but when we had to leave, my dad was in a wheelchair and had an oddly shaped head.

Last night:

Maybe a dream about my Dog and some dogs.

Strange

Dreamed I was leaving work with some people. We all had separate vehicles. I followed them to some cul de sac area. We waited and chatted. Can't remember about what. I drove off but there was some confusion about who should leave first.

Drove into a downtown street like a cross between the two downtown's of Didsbury and Carstairs. There was all these people on the street blocking the way. Suddenly instead of driving, I was walking. It was night. I ran into my cousin, and said the one restaurant that I use for pickup was closed for the holiday. He mentioned a couple that were open. I asked about the one where Jamie worked (apparently she works at a bar in the dream). He said that I'm still not allowed in there, or something because of Her. Then he said it was BS because he heard Jamie say that she was okay with me, but the owner still wouldn't allow me in. Then my memory fades.

Jamie and me are getting attacked in dreams again. Can't we just catch a break?

What?

I walk into a large basement room. Jamie is there but looks like an older woman I've seen from Tik Tok with a big fat guy. He looks like the guy who was the husband of the Jamie look alike I saw in wal mart a while ago. Jamie teleports him away. I go to the bed, but it's not a couch, I sit beside her and say, "Hello." Jamie just ignores me. The dream ends.

Jamie's double

I'm in a basement but it looks different from the last one. I'm exploring different rooms but I come to a big living room. I see two Katelynn's sleeping next to each other on a mat. I instinctively feel one Is Jamie however. I pick one up and begin going to another room. I decide against it for some reason and put her back. I notice one of them seems to be a darker shade.

School

All I remember is being in a classroom with children. The teacher starts complaining to me that I keep falling asleep and snoring. I decide I'm dropping out. I go by the door to collect my shoes. One of my shoes is really worn and is torn in half. I begin walking across the field to leave and I forget the rest.

I wake up and ask the Jamie voice if she had any dreams about me? She said something like she saw two of herself. I drifted off then.

Jamie's Double 2

I am briefly dreaming from Jamie's perspective. I'm in a dark room like the one with the two Katelynns I look down on a sleeping mat and I see myself, and also myself (Me, Robert the author.) I see them both between long strands of brown hair that are dangling down.

I consult Raven the next day that I am having two problems: 1. There's a Fake Jamie in my dreams. 2. I'm not seeing Jamie as herself, but other people (Jen, Katelynn, older lady) Raven agrees to help.

Last night:

again?

Brief dream where Jamie is next to another woman and being a little too friendly with her, and I'm jealous and angry.

Other dreams were random non lucids. They seemed really long but I can't remember much. none of them had Jamie in them.

Hotel

I'm in the hotel again but I can't remember what happened. Just lots of rooms with lots of people.

Busy

I'm with lots of people but we are going around town and doing things, can't remember what.

Recycling

I'm with my brother but he has a truck. We are by a beach, kind of like Sylvan lake. I take these bags of bottles and load them into the truck. some guy comes up to me and says he wants to buy the truck. Then I notice the bags are gone. I accuse him of stealing the bags. He says he just wants to buy the truck. I just get mad or something and talk to other people about him and eventually he leaves. I then talk to my brother about the guy.

I recently found an older SSILD tutorial on reddit that answered some questions I had about some aspects of it, so I’ve been trying it out the past few nights and felt like I was getting somewhere with it.

Around 6 or 7am a plant light turned on in another room too early, so I got up and turned it off. When I went back to sleep I went through 5 or 6 quick SSILD cycles, then began the slow ones. I feel like when I’m focusing on my tactile sensations I’m making progress, I think I fell asleep during one of those cycles.

One thing to note is that I had a benadryl around 6PM or so, my seasonal allergies were going crazy yesterday for some reason.

Awoken from dream sleep

On the side of a large smooth sloping hill/mountain there are many large nests attached to it with human sized eggs in them. I'm sleeping in one with two eggs around me. Something strikes the nest and I hear voices calling to me. I'm very tired and I look over the edge of the nest down the hill, there's a walking path down there that hugs the side of the mountain. P and a man are there looking up at me waving.

P looks very excited and shouts up to me that I should wake up and join them. I go back into the fetal position and shut my eyes, I just want to sleep. They continue calling for me so I get up and find myself walking with them on the path.

The situation is that P is looking for a new boyfriend and she had spent her time with this guy and now she wants to spend some time with me.

P is now showing me a motherboard that she's building. She's talking about how she plans to put a chip in a specific spot that will translate the audio of a game she's playing into German. I feel like she's just saying that because I'm learning German and she's probably not actually interested in learning it.

As she's talking I look at her, she's still looking at the circuitry talking away, the thoughts in my head drown out her words. I think to myself how beautiful she looks but also that I need to be with someone that I truly resonate with, I remind myself that I don't think that she and I would ever work out together.

Suddenly we're in my kitchen and I'm completely lucid. I turn to her and say "... I'm lucid?" She's holding a bag of popcorn, she puts a piece in her mouth nodding and says "Yup!". I walk over to her and ask her if I can borrow the bag of popcorn, she hands it to me and I take it.

I put the bag up to my nose and smell the hot air coming out, which of course smells like popcorn. I walk around my kitchen while smelling the popcorn, I'm very aware of the tactile senses of my body.

I turn to P and say "It's so stable, like, it's SO stable!" She just smiles and says "Yeah I know!" She adds "Can I have the popcorn back?” I say sure and hand it off to her. I go over to various counters and look at labels on different packaging that I find. I find myself slightly less grounded since I don't have the hot popcorn wafting into my face anymore so I shift my attention back to the sensations of my body. I'm so caught off guard that I'm lucid, I just take in what's around me.

As I turn around I find myself in a dark place that feels like an underground parking lot with hardly any lights on. There's a group of maybe 8 or so people huddled very closely together faced inward. It reminds me of that scene in 'I am Legend' when he finds those zombie like people in a dark building huddled together.

I imagine a spotlight is shining down on them and it happens. The people are looking at me squinting, shielding their eyes with their hands. One guy says "Could you not?" My recall ends around here.

Cyborg Hunt

A couple of scientists were really sad when they found their cyborg was dead. After scanning it they, thought the "living" parts were counterfeit. Meaning that the alive half of the cyborg escaped. The DNA was very important to them. Eventually they found the living part and shrunk down to the size of cells. They were surfing on a glowing blue metal thing hitting corrupt parts of the flesh with a rod. The rod triggered an immune response and the surrounding tissue stretched out, forming tendrils that attacked the spots.

Limb Manipulation

I hear my brother call for my sister "J, come!" I'm facing a wall I know I didn't fall asleep looking at. "Ah I'm dreaming." I begin closing my eyes and twitching my fingers for a reality check, as I open my eyes, I'm floating in-between many false awakenings. I begin rubbing my hands together until eventually I stabilize in a void. It's different than normal though, it's hard to explain but it had depth to it. When I started flying up, I could sense that I was traveling through a three-dimensional area if that makes sense. "Minecraft, I want to visit Minecraft. What does Minecraft look like?" I began thinking to myself.

Then all around me I began to see the World forming, bright, vibrant and blocky. "Time to experiment" I thought while bringing my hand up to block my left eye. Just like IWL I saw double, there was a transparent section followed by a solid more defined section of my hand. Satisfied by the results I brought my hand back down. The only thing was that only the solid portion of my hand was in my control. The translucent portion stayed behind and solidified as a large object next to the tree's that were in the background. "Maybe I can use this."



I start heading in a random direction. "Cursed arm summoning." I imagine my arm reaching through the ground in front of me. I see it reach out and I can control it like my normal arm.



I continue walking summoning more arms under my control. Spontaneously, I decide to try grabbing things with the arms and pulling as a way to boost me forward faster, it fails.

"I can try to summon a husk for possession at this rate" I look at a distant mountain for the husk and find it. The arms are reaching out of the ground and it's pulling itself upward. It's now just standing still, it resembles an armor stand with missing textures. "A perfect blank canvas."



I think about possessing it, then my body begins moving in 4 quick forward zooms, as soon as I'm about 20 feet away I finally fully possess it. I turn around to see the husk I left behind, it's now running straight at me. I hold my hand Infront of me and dismiss it into the abyss below, it falls.

I start looking around the top of the mountain and hear a Girl talking.

"You wouldn't believe how much a chunk with a Lemon and Apple tree cost me, zero!"

"This is my chance to talk to a DC," I started thinking to myself about what I should say or even how I should talk. "Just say something, idiot." I focused.

"Oh my dear, that must have been expensive!" My words came out delayed, and I noticed I sounded extremely posh and had a British accent.

"Didn't you hear me?" she questioned. "It cost zero!"

"Oh well, I seem to have misheard what you said. That's fantastic!"

"It's simply horrible! On top of that, I have to live next to the river where I can go boating anytime as well!"

"Now, now, don't want to get too exuberant about the river now, shall we?" I quipped, breaking a few blocks in the chunk as we spoke. The sarcasm was nice, and she seemed to be happy.
I saw some artwork hidden in the blocks I was breaking.
I wake up.

The day before this dream I was car-pooling with my family to my sister's 40th birthday in Dallas, it was a 4 hour drive and I was using active imagination for some spells I could cast in a dream.
I thought my spells could link to something I already know how to control, like my arm moving I thought. So I came up with a few spells. Here are two.

Cursed Arm Summon: Summons an arm out of the ground that I can control. The arm can be grabbing an object as it comes out, such as a sign or tree and use it to swing around.

Cursed Husk Summon: First summon the arm, then imagine it's pulling it's self out of the ground fully. The idea is have it do something that you want, or possess it for short range teleportation. It's important that the summoned arm is under your control. *My brother suggested that possessing a husk should leave a body behind, and it would attack me.*

I basically had around 8 hours of active visualization imagining what it would look like.

Besides that I wanted to try and put my hand in front of my left eye to see what would happen in a dream.

Some really good dreams this past couple of days. Someone must have really liked my last entry!

Jamie 1

I'm outside a bar with Jamie. The same one from a while ago. It's a real place in Didsbury, the two bars facing one another practically across the street. Jamie is just being goofy. She has these napkins and keeps putting chipotle sauce on napkins and trying to make me eat it. WTF. No Chick-Fil-A sauce?

Jamie 2

Same place again. It's night time. We are alone and it's really late. Jamie goes up to an old grey car and starts trying to remove the headlight.

A bunch of other jamie flashes but they are too short to comprehend.

Next night:

Family outing

I'm with family in calgary, apparently visiting my Mom. We are in a park near the bow river but everything looks different than normal. I'm up on a hill and below is a grizzly bear, but it seems friendly. I find a bounce thing that propels you in the air. I jump on it and fly high over bridges. When I land I'm in a truck with my dad. We are in an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly I'm in a mall and Jamie is on my right and my dad is on my left. He make a really rude comment when we pass by some ice cream and smoothie stand. There's two small vats with flavored milk with a beater in each. He says since me and Jamie are lovers we should get an idea from those mixers... It makes no sense but it sounds sexual and rude. I just ignore it. I try to lean against Jamie while I walk and she almost stumbles or trips. I apologize and she puts her arm around me. I notice I'm eating a bunch of mini plain doughnuts from a small paper bag. I go to eat one and Jamie tries to grab it out of my hand. I give it to her. I say, "I don't like the taste of these anyway." As they are pretty bland. That's all I remember.

Audio only dream

I hear both me and Jamie reciting The Lord's Prayer together.

The real Jesus.

In my vision I see something like a nice painting. It resembles Jesus Baptizing Jamie in a stream.

I really hope it's true.

Day 4

Fragments as dictated to voice recorder

…/The closed door and I cannot get back into my place/…

…/The theme about <incomprehensible> from day before got into the dream/…

…/I see guys are wearing suits from 60’s~70’s/…

While WBTB I’m able to remember more details about the dreams while drifting back into dreamland. In that moment I think to myself that I will remember about those details. Then I get lost back into some other dream and forget them all

Day 5

Fragments

…/I’m collecting flags or something similar and putting them on sort of wooden towers. It’s a very Assassins Creed like sequence. It’s day. I’m in a big country house. There’s a lot of people around. There’s a wooden structure in the middle of a yard. I climb to put the flag on the top. I’m wandering around. There’s an Asian fat guy wearing only white trousers. He’s about to take a shower. I wonder how is he doing to get hot water if his heating system is off. I want to take a shower too, I think I might use his shower and let people blame him for using the heater because of it should be off/…

…/I’m getting to the side of U’s house in the middle of a field. It’s all covered under snow, it gets to my knees [competition theme related]I have to pick a bike that lays to the side of the road next to the house. S and N are already on their way. I have to hurry to get where they are. I’m in a hurry and distracted playing with a small purple/pink doll of gum. It’s like a key hanger. I have to be careful not to let some of its small parts fall on the snow, they might get lost there, it’s very deep/…

…/Sh brought some started joints and puts them on the table. He gives me one as I ask for a present. His girlfriend gets into the room. I cover the stuff with a shirt and pretend I’m folding clothing. She asks for a jacket that I see close to my right. I say I have no idea where is it and choose to ignore her/…

…/I get out of one of my recurrent graveyards and turn to the left heading back to my grand parents house. I see two guys talking. I wear my headphones and try to play some music with my mp3 player. It’s not working and it starts getting more and more complicated as I try to connect the headphones with the player, I stop paying attention to the place/…

It’s a recurrent dreamscape

Day 6

…/I’m taking part of some kind of Muppet Show sequence. I see Animal with a big monster bird standing on his arm in front of me. He gets scared the hell out of a dove that is standing on my back/…

Days 7 - 8

*Black Out*

Day 9

Fragments

…/I’m in the first place I rented. I see ER and we have a nice talk on the bed, I’m glad to meet her again. She lays first then I lay too close that she starts feeling uncomfortable. I try to explain her about somebody I know who reminds me to her. I pay too much attention on her body. I’m visiting for short. I didn’t set all of the stuff for the transport. There are two beds and one of my closets. There’re other friends from school CaMa is there and we let some Legos on the bed. RU comes around with somebody else, it has something to deal with black metal or music.
While I’m going downstairs to do something I meet the old woman who leases the house. She’s angry because of some plants where hidden under the stairs. She’s complaining about it because of the plants will rot and stink the whole place. I try to explain I wasn’t that person. She goes on arguing telling if it’s like that then she will have to get a new tenant. I don’t care/…

…/Some other people is waiting outside of the room on the roof. They want to get in to make some reparations on the water pipes/…

…/There’s some celebration day around. I see there are new stores on the street. A lot of things have changed. I try to find which was the small store I knew. It’s confusing, I want to buy something, may be a Coca-Cola. Somebody says that the people from this house buy their Cokes in a small store and points somewhere between two big business. I’m bit nervous about talking with new people. There’s some integration with the sellers/…

…/The doors of the house that lead to the garage are partially opened to let light come in, otherwise it’s impossible to see something. The lady had covered all of the open spots, I don’t find something I put on an empty oil barrel/…

At this moment other dreams get mixed while recalling, it’s another recurrent dreamscape. I tend to dream on the times before the last move so far. Sometimes I’m in a hurry or about to miss the flight

Day 10

I was playing Assassins Creed with one of my daughters the whole night just dreamed more smashed sequences of the game

Day 11

*Black Out*

Day 12

Fragment

…/I’m near a Main Street I used to walk very often during my school days. I see big trucks [competition theme related] crashing with each other. A white one loses control and crashes straight against the wall of a house that cuts the street. I’m arranging sort of cassettes close to the street, near a park of my childhood. Somebody comes and asks for help, The driver got hurt we must help! He says, I have to stop what I’m doing/…

Day 13 - 14

*Black Out*

First off. I wanna backtrack on what I said about soul ties. I did some research and the term is not biblical. That crazy stuff about sex may not be true.

second: I was doing my prayers yesterday. Jesus kept pressing on me to give Jamie things to pray about... and I'm like: I get that, but could you be more specific? I was not expecting an answer but Galatians 4:3 screamed into my head. I actually never read all of the bible yet... So I wasn't particularly familiar with that book. I was skeptical but looked it up on bible gateway website. and the NIV translation really shocked me: So also, when we were underage, we were in slavery under the elemental spiritual forces of the world of course you always have to go with context. the next verses describe going into Jesus as a son or daughter, and onward it says 9 But now that you know God—or rather are known by God—how is it that you are turning back to those weak and miserable forces ? Do you wish to be enslaved by them all over again? So what I gather is: pray against your vices and keep them in check. And spiritual forces. I pray all that over her.

third: To Jamie, try not to feel worried or pressured that you must do anything towards me soon or right away. Take your time. If you know Jesus now, get to know him and rest in him - Lay your worries at his feet. I was on tikTok yesterday and occasionally i get BPD related videos and one said something that seemed to reflect what she said in a dream, when she said, "Please be very patient with me." It said: be patient and let them open up to you. I know it can be dangerous to you to jump into something if you're not ready or careful. I still have some issues to work on myself - Trauma over memories and stuff, which the head voice helps with (I ask: what did it mean when you did/said this or that sort of thing. Her voice does answer even sometimes reluctantly. I get answers that seem to make sense - not going to rely on this completely, the only answers i can really trust is yours.) I wanna work on making myself a safe place for you.

Dreams: only 2 from last night.

Fight

I was in a grassy hill area. I was flying around in the air or something. Jamie was walking on a hill all zoned out doing her glass eye thing. A bunch of people were fighting on another hill. A big witch was wielding a sceptor shooting electricity. Raven was there. I can't remember much.

ok

Another sex dream.. This time in a bunch of sheets.

honestly I kind of miss the dreams where we seem to be talking - negotiating, asking questions.

I had a strange coincidence I forgot to add concerning the Jamie voice. Well I Don't know if Jamie has come to know Jesus as saviour yet, or if she understands the gospel. (I have a strong suspicion she does read my DJ on here since I stopped seeing her drive by me after I called her out on it on this Dj) So... I was out having a smoke late one night and her voice popped in my head, " We're born again Christians!" Her voice said boastfully Right after I heard that I looked into the sky and saw a shooting star. Always nice to get a wink from the old man upstairs!


No title


I was in a large parking lot during the day and sitting on a large bench or divider with Jamie. She had red hair like a ginger. I must have looked different as well because she didn't recognize me. I also didn't know who she was. But she seemed familiar. She was telling me about a guy she knows, hasn't talked to him for years, but she keeps hearing his voice in her head, and also other strange things happen concerning him. I mentioned to Jamie that it sounds like a soul tie. Jamie seemed mad at that statement and stormed off.

I got up and went my way Some guy went past me on a hover board and was also drinking a blue juice. I realized I was in a Fortnite dream. Well that explains us not looking like ourselves... I was gonna shoot at him but he didn't notice me. I decided to just go on my way.

Regarding soul ties. Popular Christian theories state soul ties are created from sex, . The Bible says sex creates a bond. Everyone you sleep with you give them a piece of your soul and you get a piece of theirs, including generational curses and demon possession. Well... Me and Jamie never did the deed. However I believe us having a strong emotional bond created it. Or possibly a sex dream, which I do remember one from that era. One giveaway that it could have been shared was how she went silent on me for an entire week. I noticed after we would hang out she would freeze me out for days as if in reaction to the emotional intensity of spending time with me. After that dream ( wether she dreamed it as well or somehow read it on my dj) and the way she went quiet for so long, I'm positive she was aware of that dream.

Regarding voices again. Her voice seemed to reflect her feelings from the dream. In my head she said it seemed like I'm too good to be true. To that I say the only way to know for sure is to talk with me in person, or messenger ( god forbid), or through DV, and we can compare notes on all this crazy stuff. The worst that could happen is I might give her a big hug if she asks me.

I slept pretty well.
All of my LDs thus far have been through WILD.

Although I am able to get LDs fairly easily I'm still relatively new when it comes to lucid dreaming, before the contest I just let myself naturally have them when I could "sense" I was able to have one.

I have this fearful feeling like "wow, I'm going to lose my mind." But I know I'm not losing my mind, I'm just becoming aware of it and feeling afraid.

Color code
Non-Lucid/Notes
Semi-Lucid
Lucid
Intentional control

Uncontrolled Drifting: WILD
I'm drifting through this building. Floating up through the ceiling from one floor to another. I'm rubbing my hands together in an attempt to stabilize and gain control. The dream clarifies a bit but when I go to land back on the floor I just phase right through it to the floor below.

*I wake up and remain still*

School to Minecraft: WILD

*Before I enter this dream, I'm telling myself I want to visit school.*

I enter a school; the hallways are long and dimly lit. Everything is stable and I'm able to walk around for a while. I'm not really trying to do anything, and I get bored.



I begin to fly at high speeds into the wall. I phase through it an now I'm in Minecraft and everything is bright. I remember my last three step task, Mass telekinesis, I see about 10 mobs and beckon them, they begin floating. I continue flying beckoning every mob I see, causing them to float and follow me. I see a hallway leading into the school I was just in and turn around to see them still following me like balloons and dismissively gesture the mobs.



I turn back and land in the hallway, back to reality, I see someone and begin chasing them, it felt natural for some reason, they begin running away from me. I see them turn a corner and open a door, I jump into the air and attempt to stop them from closing the door by slowing down time, unfortunately that slows me down too. The door closes and I'm now frozen in time. I look around and see a monitor about 20 feet away, it has Minecraft on the screen, I'm able to control and play it from a distance. I stop after about 3 seconds though as I feel the dream ending.

"Don't be fooled by a false awakening I remember last time"

False Awakening?

My eyes open and I can sense I'm not actually awake. Attempting to move my arms fails. "Sleep paralysis?" I've already decided the next time this happens I'm not going to close my eyes. Everything is very dark, moving like normal doesn't work so I imagine getting up and walking. It works, it doesn't feel like walking though, it feels like I'm just seeing through the eyes of someone I told to walk, it's very slow and takes a lot of will power to move.
I'm now standing and I'm fighting back fear. The room I'm in looks like a distorted version of my room. The door to the living room here is much further away then it should be and there's no bathroom door. Continuing my struggle I open the door and can actually hear the creaking. I see the TV already has YouTube on it.

*I set an intention for this exact scene, the next time I wake up in my apartment I'm going to get up and watch YouTube on the TV*


The living room looks very distorted, and everything is misplaced, movement feels more natural now, I go to sit down on the couch and read what's on the screen, "wok", "mill" and something else. It's just gibberish and I don't know how to play any videos.

I wake up

Note: I'm very close to completing my personal goals, I feel like I overcame my fear of retaining awareness after a false awakening, but I wouldn't consider this to be exploring a real place or watching YouTube.

Also maybe I shouldn't chase helpless DCs if I want to talk to them.