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It was the last day of elementary school, a lot of festivities and performances were planned in the gymnasium, me along with three other kids, one being a girl I had a crush on during 5th - 6th grade, another being my current best friend I didn't even know back then, and I think the last one was the girl's best friend. We did a short skit, or performance that was maybe three minutes long or something followed by us dancing to either Barbie Girl or a song from the Dutch girlband K3 as ending/credits as the audience would give us an applause! However, we would just continue dancing for the entire song while they kept applauding. We would've done so for the entire 7(?) minute run of the song, but eventually decided to gather in front of the audience and bow, my theatre school instincts kicked in to say "Yes!" as we bowed.

We then leave the gymnasium and decide backstage to hang out together instead of attending the rest of the event (considering it was primary school, it was literally early in the afternoon) We then decided to go to the city, my crush asking me where I live to see if it was possible. Although I was thinking like my current age self while supposedly being a prospective 7th grader, I was still convinced I lived in Utrecht rather than Berlin where I currently live so I'd be good. We went to a supermarket nearby to get some food, but I woke up.

Curse you brain for finally letting me hang out with my crush ;_;

Spent the entire night wanting to party but instead ending up walking all around Berlin to see which clubs were open to not deciding to go clubbing anymore at all around 6 am.

The dream
We had rehearsals for a play at theatre school, quite similar to our first play, it was about a talent show, directed by the same teacher who was the director of the first play. I played one of the assistants. The set consisted of a stage as well as a river around the state, but upon having to play a scene where we save the lead from drowning and me doing a cannonball into the river, we discover that the river is actually not that deep at all, ow.
In the river, we do a scene where we dance while the lead sings to Boom Boom Boom Boom by Vengaboys.

I then have a solo scene where I sing Hello by Adele while the original song with vocals plays in the background. Partially as a joke as I cannot sing at all. The director said she liked it that way.

Around this scene I wake up.

This dream was in Dutch.

I once again had a dream about graduating from theatre school, I don't remember much of it other than being in an attic of some mysterious mansion-like building that reminds me of Muppet Monster Adventure from Playstation 1 with another plant classmate who was packing their bags. I recall one of my classmates having some sort of performance on stage reminiscing about the studies.

Got the day off from work to prepare my registration, I literally just fell asleep in bed and forgot to set my alarm or sleep tracker, as a matter of fact, I don't even recall falling asleep, it just sort of happened.

Strange how I keep having recurring dreams about theatre school, especially graduation. It's been three, nearly four years since I have last been there and seen most of those people. Sure, the recurring "trauma flashbacks" still happens sometimes when I'm alone and overthink too much, but not as regularly since I have gotten to Berlin. Once I can afford it I'd definitely start going to therapy.

This dream was in Dutch.

I was in the hallway at home, waiting for everyone to leave so I could go to the toilet, a high school girlfriend from my family shows up in our house because the family wanted us to stay in touch. I greet her and hug and we have some small talk as we notice both us us have grown.

After she goes upstairs, I bunch of people are chilling in my hallway dresser in blue and orange parkas. They're film extras waiting for the shoot, but I jokingly tell them I thought everyone just had zero drip which causes them to laugh out loud. I then let them ask me questions and everyone excitedly holds up their hand, the first person whose name I guessed as "Levi" because he looked familiar (in hindsight like someone else I know, I know someone with that name but it's not him) who asked about me being German because of my family. The second guy I had trouble understanding, I feel bad that I had to ask them multiple times and walk up to them just to discover that he's from Belgium (It was a Dutch dream) and he was speaking in a very thick Belgian accent asking me if I would travel to his theatre play, I say of course as I've traveled to Belgium before and even all the way to Luxembourg. I then jump back on the bad with a crazy backflip.

The scenario from my dream then changes to the waiting room being for a performance from the sound studies master students from Berlin, whom I've seen live in July. The performers in question come chill in the waiting room with us not knowing they have to get on stage in five minutes, they asked me about their schedule and I pull my my phone saying it's at :45 as I notice the time being :40 right now (Coincidentally also when I'm writing this) the performers rush ahead and my theatre school classmates and I walk towards the performance as well through the streets at the canals in Utrecht.

As we walk towards the performance I brag to my former classmates about seeing them in Berlin. And they're all having this "he's talking about Berlin again face" (This has never happened in real life as I haven't spoken to most classmates in 3-4 years now, but is what my subconscious assumes their reaction would've been as I had this classmate who would always react to my online activities in person)
This classmate asks me about the master "Oh so they were like 'Lets teach a bunch of kindergarteners some sound design' " then joked about them getting an assignment to make music out of an apple pie and later on a different pie and for some reason I was just responding with yes knowing damn well how disrespectful they were being but couldn't be bothered enough to argue. I then fortunately woke up.

As usual, I find myself lucid in a dream without being able to remember how it happened. I am on a stage, a raised platform at one end of a tall, rectangular room with no windows and a door at the far end—picture a racquetball court and you’ll have a pretty good idea of the layout and size. The area where I am is lit while the area where the audience is sitting is darker, with some light shining in from the doorway.

I’m singing up here and simultaneously trying my hardest to get my bouzouki to show up so I can accompany myself on it. I look around the stage area periodically, whenever I get the chance, but it just doesn’t seem to be turning up. I notice a couple guys in the audience heading for the door. Annoyed, I will them back to their seats, but they seem to sense what I’m doing and bolt. Oh, well.

In the meantime, though, my efforts to materialize myself some accompaniment seem to have paid off. There is now an array of stringed and fretted instruments in the center of the stage, a dozen or so, leaning against stands or lying on chairs. Many of them are exotic instruments I don’t recognize, and unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be a bouzouki among them. I settle for the closest match— some kind of lute, judging by the angled neck and larger body. Maybe I can intend it to have a string configuration I can work with. I pick it up and sit down in the chair it was on to play. I was singing “Greensleeves” before, and so I start again from the beginning, this time accompanying myself.

Alas, my love, you do me wrong
To cast me off discourteously…

This is more like it. It seems to work best if I don’t focus too much on what I’m doing with my hands and let it take care of itself, like a spot of localized non-lucidity.

Partway through the song, though, I find myself in another room—there seems to be a small memory gap, but I’m guessing this was a false awakening I managed to identify as another dream straightaway. This room is very similar to the one I was just in—it could be the same one if not for the lack of a raised stage area and the fact that there is now a door where the opening was. It’s a metal door painted bright green.

The room is empty apart from a mat on the floor which is furnished like a bed. Looking at it stirs faint memories of sleepovers with friends—nice memories, ones I haven’t thought about in a long time. Much of the wooden floor is covered by a rug patterned with dragons—the Asian sort—in red, blue and green. As I look at it, they move and shift in mesmerizing ways, and the perspective flattens a little as the rug occupies my field of vision. I think to myself: I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming. I don’t want to get so absorbed in it that I lose awareness.

I look away to consider the door and what might be beyond it. Thoughts come to me—memories, almost, if I took them more seriously—of rooms and people beyond. But that’s a rather serious-looking door.

I wake up.

(11.7.18)

I am traveling with my mother, my sister and her child, and possibly someone else to see Jon Anderson and Todmobile in concert. We arrive at this place that does not seem at all like any sort of proper concert hall. It seems more like a small entry way with windows behind us. We are right in front and are able to interact with the performers. Todmobile is playing some sort of impossible instrument. It’s rather difficult to describe. It has a spongy, fluid texture, and it moves downward like a spiral staircase. I think I remember playing it like you would a vibraphone, but it was huge and in constant motion. Colors changed on its surface, and I remember enjoying the sound it produced. Our cousins are also at this performance, as is my uncle. I know there was so much more to this dream, but that is all I can remember.

For the last two nights, I had been attempting to recreate the circumstances which enabled my initial “one that I’ve been waiting for” dream. So this involves taking NyQuil and Ibuprofen, and I also downed apple juice in hopes of greater vividness. It has not produced similar results. I know I’ve been dreaming, but they have in no way been nearly as profound or memorable as that first one. It seems to me a typical case of trying to reproduce something amazing that occurred without any effort or preconceptions. I’ve even been listening to the same album I did that first night. But I admit, this has been a rather foolish endeavor. The feelings and symbols I experienced in that first dream I cannot hope to experience again by means of forcing it to happen. It happened somewhat naturally, it seems. I can only wait for the next time.

There is to be a performance at school. I have all the videos required ready but find they are dubbed incorrectly. It will take to much time I say to do mine and defer to another class and let them take what glory there is. The head is surprised.
Leaving the social occasion, I am given a sliced loaf of bread the size of a large sports bag, to carry back. I'm told to look after it. Disgruntled I try and drop it off at an office along a long glassed corridor but take a wrong turning ending up going through a shopping precinct.
At a bus terminus I am getting pissed off carrying the bag in the hot sun. I can't be bothered to run for a bus that turns up and watch as it pulls out onto the road. I trudge on and get to a place off the road where there its lots of rubble and some kids. I am angry and decide to do the opposite of what I should. I use my powers to drop kick the bag into oblivion, it sails off into the blue sky.

This is a recurring dream I have, but haven't had in a while...But with a twist I realise afterwards that I am rewriting dream, to give myself another chance every time I get stuck.

At last minute I find out I need to get class ready for big performance, this time its xmas play. I have zero time and as a result my mind is fairly paralysed with fear/dread.
It is a Friday and I get a reprieve till Monday for me to think up a plan. The weekend evaporates and it is Monday morning leaving me with more or less the same dilemma. I have one lesson before show time. I waste the time talking to Ed who is doing last minute rehearsals with his class. So I change the dream and go back to day start again.
I waste the time worrying this time about what number to do with the class. So I go back in dream to lesson start again.
This time I decide on a number that they already know, twinkle twinkle little star, LOL. I realise that there needs to be a musical element.
I decide on kids using sleigh bells for that and check this is ok for performance with S in staff room. I then have to go back again in dream.
This time I get kids to listen to twinkle, twinkle and sing it while they are doing their work as in lesson they are supposed to be working.
I imagine being caught by management. I decide that the number is going to be a bit tame and go back again in the dream.
This time I include playing a electric guitar for twinkle, twinkle little star. Realise there is not enough time for this and
at last decide on a final version, which is to use a tape of a guitar playing near the end of the performance. Phew!

I remember two dreams from last night. No lucidity unfortunately.

Dream 1: I was performing onstage as a musician. However, I was wearing just a T-shirt on top and underwear on the bottom. Nobody was laughing; I was just performing and everyone was acting as though everything was completely normal. I was with a rapper who introduced himself - I think as either Jay-Z or the guy from the Black Eyed Peas. Regardless, the image is too fuzzy in my head to remember what he looked like exactly. There was also a pretty girl who was singing as well. We were all performing together. If only I could remember the song...because it was AWESOME and sounded amazing. (Of course, it slipped from my mind as soon as the dream faded, and I remember feeling a sense of dismay as that happened.) Then, the underwear somehow managed to get ripped, in the worst possible spot, and then I was embarrassed ahaha. Later, after the performance, this guy I know was there sitting in a chair, in his church clothes. I talked to him for a little while. I think I was going to change into decent clothing when the dream faded. :')

Dream 2: Can't remember which one occurred first. This one was more frightening. I was in this enormous building of sorts, vaguely reminiscent of Portal 2 which I was playing yesterday before going to sleep. The building was enormous with tons of stairs. I was being threatened by some creepy people and an old man. One of them took my phone and left with it, and I searched around trying to find them to get it back. There was also a golden retriever with them. I think I did end up getting the phone back before waking up.

So nothing too exciting, but definitely a good night's rest. Recommitting myself to reality checks. Need to do them more regularly.

NLD: I was a stage magician, a white male in late middle age. I have the impression that my character looked and talked a bit like the actor Bill Nighy. I had been doing a really long show -- it started at 6, now it was 9pm, I had just taken a break and had to perform one more brief act before I could wrap up and call it a night. I realized I should streamline the show, this was exhausting, and the audience was probably almost as weary as I was.

I was trying to find my way back to the place where the theatre was located in a huge new building that had been recently constructed for my show, but I took a wrong turn and found myself on the roof. Up there I ran into a colleague who resembled (or was supposed to be?) Gary Gygax, and we commiserated, "We're getting too old for this shit." I retraced my steps, passing a teenager who I asked about something, but his answer was unhelpful.

As I made my way back to the theatre I was carrying a large bag of stiffened canvas printed with a cheerful decorative pattern. I had picked this bag up from the room where I had gone on break. It held a nested series of ever-smaller bags made from the same material. I was planning to give these away as prizes at the end of the show, like we always did, based on calling out random ticket numbers. I wondered if I should give away the largest outer bag as well, or save it to carry the smaller bags again next time. I examined it closely and realized that it had some discoloration around the handle and decided that it wouldn't make a very nice prize because it wasn't in new condition.

NORMAL | DREAMING POTENTIAL FOR REALITY CHECK

I've been going to bed pretty late at around 1:30-2:30am recently in the holidays, and awaking at about 11:30am. Last night, I attempted to get my sleep routine back to normal as lay ins make me too lazy during the day! I went to bed at 11:30, only to find that I could not sleep at all! Eventually fell asleep at about 1:15am (earlier than usual so whatever ) and awoke at 11am, to the following dream.

I was in my local church, where I used to take part in drama groups. However, the hall I was sat in was actually the hall I used to sit in for assembly at secondary school. I was sat with a group of friends in rows of about 10 on standard plastic school chairs. The lighting was dark, however the stage lights brightened it up to the extent where I couldn't really guess what time of day it was. There were mainly kids on stage. Someone I know, Ryan. E appeared on stage. Most people burst into applause as he was our friend, however Kelly. H, his current girlfriend, strangely started booing him as if they had broken up. She was sat next to Tom. R, her real life ex, as if they were going out again. I think I'd had a few alcoholic beverages, and I had a half pint of beer in my hand, and I started booing Ryan along with Kelly, trying to get other people to join in as if it was really funny. The regulars in the church who I used to do the drama class with started getting upset and annoyed with me. I can't remember what they were saying, but they were all suggesting that I had drank too much, especially considering everyone else was completely sober. My friend Lottie, who is a regular, was getting frustrated with me and seemed embarrassed. I didn't feel like I'd done much wrong, but felt myself blushing. I apologized to everyone for "being a dickhead", explaining that I didn't realize what I was doing was offensive in anyway, but was ever so sorry if I caused offense. Jamie, Lottie's brother, stopped the performance, and started it from the start again, as "Calum was acting like a total tit" . I became angry, frustrated and humiliated by their arrogance, and kept imagining how amazing it would be to just leave the building at the end without saying goodbye to anyone, but remaining absolutely silent for the rest of the performance to spite them. I started to feel better and calm down, and began reading the church menu, which i'm pretty sure doesn't exist. It sold alcohol, cigarettes, and other taxed goods. The cigarettes were tax-free, and it only cost £2 for a pack of twenty! I wanted to tell Tom, who despite being in front of me earlier was now sat to the right of me.

No luck again last night I will try harder tonight. I am determined!

Anyway. First dream:

I am in a store (Nordstroms, I think), in the back. It doesn't look like a warehouse, but that is the purpose it serves, this is where they keep all their items before putting them on the shelves. It's also connects to some sort of performance hall. There are dancers around. One of the dancers is talking to me, and tells me that there is a special discount magazine for people who have been confirmed dancers for two years. I want to get the discounts, but I have not been a confirmed dancer for two years. A big group of girls is by me, and they start singing. They are mostly Latina. A large black girl in the front is singing a solo.

Second dream:
I meet a boy. Me or my sisters have recently started playing some new game, and the book we use is open. Me and the boy are talking about it. I have a baby with me, and he takes it from me and walks somewhere. I follow him and see him exit a building. I go back to my original spot, (but I know that he will be coming back there soon) and my younger sister comes up and coaches me. She points out that I am wearing socks that say "Blondes" on them, and this boy is a brunette, and that might hurt his feelings. I put my shoes on to hide my socks, but she tries to convince me to put on one of her shoes, which is velcro and much too small for me. This confuses me.

Third dream:
I'm riding in a car with E, S, and probably A although I don't really remember who the third person was. It's more like a sled though - it has no roof or doors, and I feel concerned about this. I drop my cellphone off the side, and we pull over and I run back and get it.

At some point in one of my dreams I think I had a new puppy, but I don't remember.

~16/08/11~

i find myself in a theatre full of people and i am about to perform with some kind of school singing group (used to do chorale singing while i was at high school). I am mingling in the audience before having to go backstage and the person i'm chatting with (my flatmates boyfriend IRL) says: "bro look, it's Danger Mouse" (an awesome producer whom i admire).

Danger Mouse:


so i'm pretty starstruck but i'm also freaking out because i think this is my only chance to ever get signed by, or collaborate with Danger Mouse. For a while i panic and try to tidy myself up but my hair is way to messy.
At this point there is a gap in the dream (or recall) and suddenly i'm onstage performing. I appear to have forgotten about Danger Mouse because i'm just messing around and talking to other people onstage. I imagine my principal being embarrassed by how average the performance is and it makes me want to mess around even more
~wake up~

wish i'd been a bit more surprised at seeing DM at the show and had questioned the dream. Could've done basic ToTM so easy!!

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was on a dark stage with a group of guys. The guys were something like rock stars or performers. I'm not sure whether the stage was in a large or a small venue. Sometimes the atmosphere seemed very small, almost like a coffee shop or a bar. Other times, it seemed like the five guys were addressing a huge crowd, almost like at a political convention.

The stage itself seemed sometimes to be more like a small coffee shop or bar, or even a living room. I could see rugs, tables, and lamps. I might even once have seen a small hallway leading back to another room.

The five guys were going away. This might have been their last performance ever. So, partly for the crowd's sake, but partly for my own sake, the five guys gave some kind of inspirational speech. They each took a turn speaking. As the person would speak, a spotlight would shine on him.

The five speeches were somehow connected. They began in some kind of historical context. They had to do with something like fighting for liberty. Then they moved on to how people shouldn't lose hope, and what kinds of things they could do to keep fighting for liberty.

All the time, while each person was talking, I was touching the speaking person's face. I could see each person just fine. But the way I was touching the people's faces was like I couldn't see the people's faces, and like I was trying to understand what they were like.

The final person, while I was touching his face, began to laugh a little. I got the impression that he thought I was doing this because I wasn't taking his speech seriously. So I tried to touch his face more seriously. I began tapping his forehead and his chin with a fist like a cat-paw, not closed all the way, but kind of flat.

I may have been a little kid at this point, or maybe all through the dream.

Dream #2

I was at a service counter at a FedEx. A pretty woman with olive skin, black hair, and black eyes told me something about whatever I was here to do. She said something like things would be ready for me in a while, so I should come back.

I thanked the woman and walked away from the counter. I was now in a department store. I was walking around some display areas with really nice dark grey or black slacks. The area all around was also nice, kind of dimly lit, with dark green or blue carpeting. All the display stands also seemed to be made of a nice kind of wood.

A few other guys came up around me. There were some tall, white guys and at least one Asian guy. They were all dressed nice, probably in dark blue blazers, pale blue shirts, and khaki slacks. They were all talking with each other, possibly about some kind of business meeting they'd all been to. But they were all hanging around and looking at the pants near me, I could tell, because they assumed, for some reason, that I had good taste in pants (???).

I was back in some line, which, as I faced it, looked like a checkout line for this department or clothing store. The cashier counters looked very nice, all made out of heavy wood. They almost looked like bank counters. I was near the front of the line.

One of the Asian guys was in front of me, talking to some of the other business guys, who were behind me. This guy wasn't as well dressed as the others. He wore a maroon polo shirt and khaki slacks.

They were all talking about something having to do with the military. It was like they had just been to some convention for military scientific projects. There may have been certain aspects of the technology that they either hadn't understood or had been bored by. But there had been a woman there who had really absorbed and processed all the information.

The Asian man was now kind of giggling a little, like you would after seeing some kind of daring feat. He then said, almost looking at me, as if he felt I had been listening to and understanding the conversation, "Well, I guess that she is a HLA." (He pronounced "HLA" as "hullay.") I assmed that "HLA" meant "High-Level Analyst."

I was now up at the Fedex counter, coming to take care of whatever I had been told to take care of. The woman I had come to was the same woman as before. She had been pretty friendly before. But now she was really rude.

She had an envelope, which I knew was for me. But she was kind of angry that this envelope could be for me. She didn't want it to be mine. She didn't want to give it to me. She told me to give her my ID. I did. She seemed to be going through every number on my ID. Then she was going through every number, every digit, on the envelope.

She began tapping her fingernails on the counter, trying to find some kind of numerical reason not to give me my package. She was getting mad that she couldn't. I had a feeling she didn't even want to give me my ID back.

I am part of this experimental theater production that takes place in the banquet hall of a crappy family steakhouse. There is a small stage area in the front of the room and the chairs are all arranged facing the stage like some kind of improvised theatrical space. We are sitting around waiting for something to happen while the general manager of the restaurant paces around the front of the room looking nervous. A girl with short hair and wearing a flannel shirt walks in the room holding a guitar and the manager is excited and says that this is Macey and she is going to run our class, that she is an improv teacher. Macey smiles sheepishly at us and says that she just had band practice and doesn't feel up to teaching today. All of us in the class start stompin our feet and clapping our hands begging her to stay and teach us but she just waves and leaves.

Later my friend Marshall is directing us in a play. He has a giant theater with thousands of seats. The stage is littered with very expensive moving lights and a ratty old gray fabric couch. There is about seven of us on stage and we are all wearing very casual t-shirts and shorts or bluejeans. Everything is painted black. Marshall is directing us on the blocking of a big musical number. He has each person sing or talk a little bit then move over to where they are going to stand on the stage. He gestures to the couch and tells me that it's the most important part of the piece.

He whispers to me that now is when I do my part so I walk over to the center of the stage and all the lights come on. There is a very loud sound like an electrically charged sonic boom and I start to speak. I talk but I don't know what I'm saying and I wave my arms back and fourth. When I am finished the auditoriom, which is suddenly full of people, bursts into giant applause. I look over in the wings to Marshall and he gives me the signal to keep going. Don't stop. The stage goes dark except for one spotlight on the ratty gray couch.