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This was a few days ago, I forgot to type it down, but it seems resurfacing.

It's at night. I walk into a house. I walk fast through a room. I need to get to the other side of the house to pick up what in my mind looks like my work bag. All the rooms are illuminated, but as I'm going without stopping, I'm turning on all the light switches. Lights turn on. I'm scared. I know I can't let that be known, or that scary thing will know that I know and it will show itself. I walk through 4-5 rooms in a straight line. When I get to my bag in the back of the last room, I realize now I have to make the same trek back and I'm struggling not to run and scream in fear. I'm kicking myself why I even went there, why I didn't prepare my bag at the front door, why I waited till night time to go get it, why I even agreed to go and get it. Why didn't I just said no.

I get out and my mom, who was waiting in a car is already coming towards me. Looking for me, because I took longer than she thought I would. When she see me coming, she turns and I'm following to the car. But it's harder and harder for me to walk, as if invisible force was drawing me back to the house. I reach my arm and cry for her help to grab it and help pulling me forward. I was so scared.

I had a dream I thought was real boring, so I wasn't going to bother journalling it.
But I just had a strong sync with the 3 keys in the dream Oo

In the dream I was with 2 other comrades from the past, one male, one female. We were about to take part in a big demonstration. So we didn't take all our stuff on the march, we put stuff in boxes to be collected later from a public house, for a small fee. We were each given a silver key.

Overgrown Weeds

I am at my old childhood home in Hollywood, Florida and notice all the houses in the neighborhood have nice, manicured lawns. But the lawn in front of my old house is all overgrown with weeds. The weeds are huge, towering. They look like gigantic sheaves of wheat or grain and they put out a golden glow against the blue sky.

Surgical Ward Transvestite

I am in a hospital surgical ward, dressed like a drag queen. I look at myself in a mirror and think, "I make a pretty damn-good looking woman!". A pregnant Russian lady who speaks English very well is on the floor, and she is with a male friend. She sees me and starts questioning her own looks. I think she is beautiful; she, however, doesn't think she is. She continues to seek confirmation of her beauty from me. I do everything I can to boost her self-confidence. Meanwhile, I am looking for the bathroom, but can't find it. I decide to lift my skirt and urinate in the surgical waste bucket in the corner of the hallway. A surgeon sees me pissing in the bucket but says nothing, giving me a contemptuous look instead. Embarrassed, I halt my piss mid-flow and decide to keep looking for a proper bathroom. Another surgeon comes out of the surgical station, clutching his groin and asking where the bathroom is. I tell him it's just around the corner (not true - I'm still looking for it myself), but the first surgeon walks over and points to a door right in front of us that says, "Lavatory" on it. Then he gives me another contemptuous look.

Dreamt 1/29/2017

The House at the Bottom of the Hill

I am with a short woman and we are visiting another woman who lives at the bottom of the a hill in a rural town. The area we are in reminds me of Pembroke Pines or Miramar in South Florida when I was a kid. We've both been to this house before, in another dream fragment, but now we are back. It is not clear why. And we don't quite remember how to get to the house; all I remember is it is at the bottom of a hill. I recall walking with this woman, side by side, down a road as we approach the top of a hill. I find it strange there are hills in this area, as South Florida is known to be flat. We get along well and laugh as we walk down the hill. I notice she is wearing tight, faded blue jeans.

Sumo Marriage Counselling

I am in an underground men's locker room with my wife. I am trying to explain to her why we, as guys, get upset when we feel women are trying to "push our buttons". The conversation with her gets heated, and we begin airing our dirty laundry for all the other men in the locker room to hear. There is a very heavy, muscular black guy in the corner with a towel strategically wrapped around his lower torso and groin area. He looks like a Sumo wrestler. He is staring at me and listening to us go back and forth. The way he is looking at me, I begin to fear that he will take my wife's side of the argument. Instead, he closes his locker and says a few words of comfort and walks off. My wife and I stop fighting and feel at peace.

Dreamt 1/28/2017

Bed at 8":30 - 3:30am

Very detailed and long dream.

I'm on alien planet with someone. We are intruders, if they caught us, we would be in trouble. Investigating something going on. Or we just kinda fell into this situation and trying to get out.

Underground facility. Lots of civilians and scientists. Some are looking at us, knowing we don't belong there. Me and my female friend walk by some containment bio suits and decide to put them on so they don't recognize us. Lots of corridors, doors, bright rooms with medical looking scientific machines and tools. Something big is goin on.

We come to a place where a short, wide lift is taking people to the surface. We realize we need to get to the surface to escape, but also that the bad thing that's happening to civilians is on the surface. They are taking them there for some experiment disguised as something else. Something about mothers and having babies.

We get a care package which I first didn't want to get, but my friend puts it in front of her face so they don't recognize us. There is some drink with a straw in it too, so it makes it not very suspicious.

1. HH of a woman with long brown hair and blue eyes and she was nice looking and laughing like watching a silent movie. She then blew a stream of water out of her nose?

2. I was young still in school hanging out in someones extremely messy house with clothes everywhere on the floors and doing things I never did back then when the male part turned into the thickness of a pencil with balls inside it?

3. I was now with the guy who was friends with the above guy but this guy was very shy and lacked confidence. I was just comfortable hanging out with him laughing and smiling and then it even turned to sexual.

4.. 3 manly women discussing Skype and unable to spell it yet very confident and very cocky in their demeanor. They were having a very boring conversation.

I am under a great deal of stress at work lately and I have a feeling that all of these dreams are my way of releasing stress. I actually wanted sex dreams but after the past few days I really want to get back to my more meaningful dreams.

Still getting used to sleeping with the camera, I tend to focus on it and my position rather than focusing on dreams. Bed-time still a bit too late for good recall.

+ I'm to play the central role in a camp play? I'm hesitant about this since it's such an important thing. I'm in a room, it's very messy, I'm looking around and see a lot of medical eqiupment.

+ DO: a guy drives in to a woman's house's garage, the husband discovers this and gets very angry, but it's a misunderstanding, it wasn't an affair

+ [vague impression] houses? a former house?

This entire dream played out as a TV show. I was the dreamer 'dreaming up' the scenario, but I also controlled one of the characters within the story.

One building in London was central to much of the plot: a futuristic (and massive) trapezoid building, almost entirely made of glass. The windows themselves were triangular in shape. It was called the London Naval Shipyard Headquarters. Or something similar. I saw NYC in one scene, but noticed the old World Trade Center was still there, meaning I was in the past, pre-2001. Then I was in a car, in one of the back passenger seats, driving through London. The sun was bright red. The person next to me in the car, said this was due to "red-shifting" - due to the dimensional/time-traveling we were doing. I arrived at the location where the large building mentioned earlier was supposed to be, but instead there was only an empty plot of land - telling me I was still in the past, and it hadn't been built yet.

The show had less than 10 episodes total. It had many characters, and each episode had different characters in it. I think the character I played, was the only one that featured in all of them, so kind of the 'main' character. It was all quite tragic, though I can't recall any details. The main character experiences several disconnected events (each self-contained story was an episode) that were still all connected in some way; but in a way not obvious to the characters themselves - only to the viewer/dreamer. In the end, the events of all the episodes ended in the main character being held at gunpoint by a man, a man I knew (as dreamer) to be a good guy), who mistakenly thought the main character had killed someone, or did something terrible. I (as character) was forced to me knees, and I heard him say "don't fucking move", but I heard pain in his voice. Maybe he thought I killed someone dear to him? Either way, the event he blamed on me actually happened in a previous episode, and was done by a completely different character.

The whole dream had an amazing soundtrack, but especially the main theme at the end of the last episode was beyond awesome. It sounded mysterious, like the soundtrack of Half-Life: Decay, but with a very sad violin at the end, reflecting the tragic nature of the story.

-

Second dream. Someone (a rather attractive blonde woman in her late 20's) had bought our old house from my dad. There was a massive 'basement' below the house, which I'd never noticed in the years living there. The basement was large, clean and very well-lit. In fact, it didn't look like a basement at all. It was made into a kind of museum, where books and other stuff owned by the woman were put on display. I had a look at the books, and eventually left.

I found myself on the surface of Mars. The 'air' was breathable, and the temperature non-existent (I can't feel temperature in dreams). Along with a group of other 'visitors', we walked past several large buildings, looking for a place called the "Moon Dome" (inspired by the Moon Dome from Wolfenstein: The New Order?). We walk the Martian surface, until we find a mountain 'bowl' - a place completely surrounded by (not very high) mountains on all sides (except on one side, we came from a flat plain). I saw some kind of monument in the distant, up against the mountains. I started running in that direction, and noticed the ground was on a downward slope. I started floating because of this, and quickly learned to change that into flight. It was easier than usual, thanks to Mars' low gravity. From the air, I see a child (a little girl) falling behind from the rest of the group. I dive down, land, and help her get back to her parents.

At some point, some guy said something that pissed off Alex Moore, a guy I know in real life. Alex got really pissed and started chasing him as he fled, along a rainy street at night (clearly on Earth now). The guy had to stop to unlock a door, which is when Alex caught him. I can't recall what happened next.

There was a man who was using some kind of ability to mind-control children into doing his bidding. I had a feeling he was going to get them hurt, by using them as weapons.
At this point I was close to fully waking-up, so this was more fantasy than dream: I walked away from there, and mind-controlled a lion. I wanted to make the lion attack the man.

In my dreams last night, my mind crafted for me a perfect tragedy. I will recite it now.

It begins with a simple thing. I am going to university, and it is my first day on campus. I am moving into my new dorm room. It's on the ground floor of a nice building I've never seen before, but as I'm bringing my bags in I realise that I am on a floor that is filled to the brim with pretty ghetto dudes, like my childhood neighbourhood. I have no problem with it as long as I stay unharmed. I get my bags and head to my room, not sure of what to expect. On the way down the hall, however, one guy starts paging me, asking me to give him my knife. This is because before going to bed I was thinking about the rap battle on Hollywood boulevard I had when that guy asked for my sunglasses.

I gave him the knife so he'd leave me alone and went about unpacking. The first day we had off, so I went to the movies. The theatre was full of people playing this iPhone app that was all about sex and crime and loaning money and making money. I'd never seen it before but it was like the next Pokemon go. Just as the movie started, some hoodlums went backstage and started screwing around with the operation, so they shut the movie off. I was hitting on the mum next to me but she had her sons with her and she had to keep it tame. After 5 minutes I just gave up on the film and left. I was going back to my room when I realised something. This app was more than a game, it used real world money and pretty much encouraged actual crimes to take place to offset the virtual ones made. As I walked down the hall the guy who took my pocket knife was begging another guy for a 3% loan. The dude shook him off, so he started following me along with another dude. They started yelling about how hard their fathers worked to get the money for them to attend this school. They told me to give them my easy money. I told them to kindly fuck off and make their own. They grabbed me and pulled knives. Somehow, in slow motion, I grabbed my knife from the guy then grabbed the other one, and stabbed them both to death while they held me tight. The knives moved in and out easily, and their grips slowly faded as they fell to the floor. What the fuck. I'm so fucked. I just killed two guys. I go to my room and call campus police, tell them I was being mugged and had to kill them. "Sounds like a likely story, two young black men attack you and you defend yourself, eh? You sure that's what happened there, son?" Fuck that guy. I'm no racist and I'm not about to go down for it. I flag down the officers he calls in, explain it to them every step of the way, and get the fuck out of there.

Then the story changes. Somewhere along the road after that incident, I bumped into Anna Kendrick. I saw her in a movie last night and was thinking about her a lot before bed, and here she was. I thought she'd be a huge diva in person, but this version of her was just so sweet and amazing. Like a movie character. And suddenly it was my life. I pulled off some grandiose romancing and managed to get the girl. She and I fit together like two peas in a pod, but more than anything she was just so beautiful I couldn't look away. After some time, we retired to my room. Passionately kissing her, we slowly disrobed, and I entered her.

And then I went soft.

For a man, this is pretty much one of the worst things that can happen. The anxiety that it causes pretty much secures the fact that you will not be recovering from this. She starts to blame herself, stating she isn't pretty enough, she isn't doing the right thing. I am just losing my mind. I'm still kissing her all over and generally enjoying having this absolute unicorn in my arms but I can also feel everything falling apart. We try and try, and we go to a hot tub and we try in there. Nothing. Finally, I say that I'll take the old man pill, and I know I have a couple left from when I did ecstasy and my guy gave me some as a 'backup'. I pull it out, pop one, and now I know we need to kill 30 minutes. A man comes from out of nowhere asking what I just did to the water, I try to explain it was a medication that I took but he thinks I poisoned the water, so we get out. We have lots of time anyway.

As soon as we get out of the hot tub, with the timing of a Shakespearean death, everything changes. Out of absolutely nowhere comes Javier Bardem. Before he speaks I know that something massive is about to happen and I can already feel the heartbreak. He approaches me as if he knows me. As if everybody knows me. I nod back to him, and he smiles. "Mr Bingus. Your work here has become most groundbreaking, and it has not been ignored by those in power. I have a proposition for you."

I know this feeling in my gut. Anna has her arm around me. She is shaken, confused, she just wants to go back to my room and feel loved, like it isn't her fault. I owe her this so much. I think to myself VERY clearly,
"No matter what he says, ignore it and go back with her. She is what matters. I am self-aware of this right now, and I will not allow this turn to ruin everything when I am so close to happiness."

Javier goes on to outline what it is he's offering me.
He tells me it will pay 2 million dollars.
Anna is very rich and money is no reason to leave her.
He explains that I will have a leading role in this.
Anna is my leading lady, I will be fine with just her.
He tells me there is a new research project opening up across the country, where all of the bright young minds in the nation are gathered together, living under one roof. And this is where I am to go.
It couldn't hurt to see what he's talking about. It sounds boring, and it might impress her. I agree to go see this place.

When we get there, it is basically everything I was not expecting. The first thing we see as we enter a classic old ratty residence is a room full of kids my age, all hanging out and playing music, exchanging scientific ideas. The ultimate creative session. Something I've never had. We walk further down the hallway and see art on the walls from the students. Very cool, I think. Then, at the end of the hall, I hear a familiar voice. And the voice pops its head around the doorframe. It's Anna. Anna M, from my actual life. The prettiest girl I know. She smiles, excited, and pulls me into the room.

"Check it out!"
"You're living here too?" I ask. I look around the room and Jessica is here too. And I can see other girls bags.
"Yep! And we're all rooming together. We're the film kids of this operation, and we're going to make a documentary about the amazing things that will happen here. And you've been chosen to direct it. We're your crew!" She gives me a big smile.

She hasn't seen Anna Kendrick yet. She's being very warm with me. I think to myself, how could this possibly get any better. A room of beautiful girls who will work under me, a whole community of the best of my generation. Against one girl. Then, as if god wanted to rub it further in my face, I look outside. Mustangs. Scooby vans. VW campers. It's the fucking 70's. This fucking town, for some reason, is still the 70's. That is why everything is so old here, the clothes so cool and the dorms so old school.
I look back at Anna Kendrick, who's in the room now, giving me this look like "Am I still worth it?" Her soul is being crushed. I am at such an extreme level of elation that I say the worst thing I've ever said to somebody.

"You know Anna when he came to the school to see me, I thought to myself, 'How could he possibly offer me something that would make me want to leave you?' Well, It's the 70s out there." I climbed out the window, jumped down to the road, and started checking out the cars. I want to start talking all about them with her, but before I even looked in the window I knew I'd made a huge mistake. I turned back and just started running.

I ran all the way back to my dorm, which I thought was across the country. I sprint down the hallways, around the corner and slam into the wall next to my door. I listen carefully and I can hear bags being packed. I open the door slowly, and she's right there. Immediately she starts to cry. I rush towards her, her hands coming up and her head shaking, thinking I would try a romantic kiss or something. Instead, I just hug her, hold her tighter than anyone in my life and just tell her how much I love her. How much I miss her and need her in my life. As we embrace, both crying, she says "I knew you would choose me over that shitty place." She breaks off and smiles, looking me deep in the eyes. Deep in my soul. She wants to kiss me. But this moment is empty. The moment she said that I knew in my heart of hearts that I could not choose her over what would certainly be the best time of my life. Her face starts to melt. I enter a powerful internal dialogue.

"She is convinced. She thinks my reality aligns with hers. I am drowning her, pissing on her soul. Pissing in her face."
As I say this, I see myself drag her unconscious body to the bathroom, drop her limp head in the toilet bowl and begin peeing on her face. This is the most fucked up, disrespectful thing I've ever done. And I'm not even in control.

"She is somewhere on the scale between love and devotion, and I have just come back, only to mix her a most powerful poison dart. Surely, this will kill her."
I slam the lid on her neck. Crush of bones.

I snap out of this freakish nightmare. I am still holding her. I can feel her heartbeat.
"Of course, Anna. Now I'm very tired. Let's go to bed."

Whoa, 14 days since last entry : (

Finally recall tonight that I can actually put into words, haha.

1. I'm in my childhood house, but I don't know it at that time. In my brothers room. I'm swinging around and thrusting with a big, toy pirate sword. Two kids are looking at me. I say something like "this time, that person won who didn't win yet". One of them asks "so that second kid won?" And I say "nope, me again". Haha

2. I'm on doctors table. People are getting shots. It's my turn. I watch how the doc picks from a set of needles that are secured in a pouch, kinda like tools would be. He picks the biggest one. Actually, it's a she. She doesn't want me to straiten my arm out, just pokes me few times in the elbow area. Someone tells her to do it differently, because she is taking chunks of my skin off and I look and it's bloody.

3. - There were other dreams, feels like work, again. Dont recall that one, but happy with tonight.

Morning of March 7, 2017. Tuesday.



My family and I as we are now are at the Loomis Street house, though others are there, including my brother Dennis (older half-brother on my mother’s side) and Crystal (Zsuzsanna’s younger half-sister on her mother’s side). There is also one unknown female.

At one point, the unknown female makes a comment about wanting to be friends with someone with a “spark of Irish”. I make a comment about “a drip of Irish”, which seems to be risqué.

I have a few books with thin cardboard pages that seem related to foldout setups with cutouts though I am not sure of their exact nature or whether they are related to a game or are just for display. They all seem to have a girl as the main character. One of the last ones I notice is “Alice in Wonderland”. Still, there seems to be another one that possibly belongs to someone else. It has cooking as a theme. There is a (overhead view) frying pan cutout and another cutout that represents food (frontal view) that stands vertically on the first by using a tab and slot. Additionally, this goes onto a page displaying an overhead view of a stove element, also by use of a tab and slot. There is something mentioned by the female about something sharp being found in a new container of yogurt after I incorrectly remember that food poisoning was mentioned in the news.

The unknown female seems sad about something and seems to consider herself as being out of place. I “remember” that there is a time-traveling military group that is presently operating from the shed (in the Loomis Street backyard). I go out and there are three unknown people, two female and one older male. The male is in charge of everything. He goes up to the unknown female from the house and asks her if she can “climb a ladder”, with additional questions about the military and whether she can cope. She seems hesitant and the male, who is a general, loses patience. I go back into the house and the unknown female follows. Crystal is sitting in the armchair next to the telephone. She seems to be in somewhat of an aggressive or defensive mood. I catch myself (though more as pretense of the kind expressed in instinctual dreaming) saying something about “depending on what year they are going to” so that others in the room can “overhear” and perhaps catch on that they are supposed to be time travelers. The unknown female leaves the house through the front door. (There is also something later mentioned absentmindedly by me about the military group originally being from the distant past but going to the distant future.)

I see Dennis and he seems to be only in his early thirties. He is wearing an army trench coat. I absentmindedly pull at the front and all the buttons come undone. I then apologize. He buttons up his coat again. I ask him if he wants to be part of the military and he says “no” and mentions something about Korea and Iraq. I tell him that he still might be interested in joining this group.

We go out to the backyard. I look around for the time travelers. We see an unfamiliar unusual-looking young boy in thick black glasses as he is looking around near the south fence. He does not look in our direction. “Oh, that’s not her,” I say, referring to one of the females with the military team. We go out near the alley.

Suddenly, there is a very loud roaring sound, like a wild animal. It is continuous and growing louder and closer from the south. I am thinking that it is probably a tyrannosaurus that is loose in the neighborhood and that it will likely find us and perhaps eat us if it turns its head easterly and sees us. There seems to be no time to run. Dennis and I just stand where we are. (Dennis is to my right, north of me, but somewhat closer to the alley.)

A large woolly mammoth charges by, up the alley, heading north. It keeps going and is no threat but continues to roar as it passes. Dennis stands where he is and regards it casually, with mild interest.

I notice a bright glow inside the shed, visible through the window from several feet. My youngest son also sees it and runs out toward the building. I am thinking that it is the three time travelers who are now leaving, activating some sort of machine.

---

As this is a very long dream, I am only including obvious (real-time) symbolism. The unknown female potentially climbing a ladder is an association with Zsuzsanna waking up from sleep. The absentminded unbuttoning of the coat is typical of instinctual dreaming and relates to uncovering the nature of the preconscious as well as preparing to come out from under the bed sheet, though the consciousness transitions were extended here. The mammoth is the form of my unconscious “leaving” the dream setting. The glowing light is the emerging conscious self identity, analogous to sunrise. The notion of time travel validates non-lucid dream control.

---

#504 - DILD - 3:20AM

V is at my house. He's afraid of something. He mentions something about holding a lot of drugs. I ask about a certain purchase but he becomes more agitated and says he can't sell or get rid of the drugs because they will get him. I let the subject go.

For some reason we lay down to sleep on the floor and he's way too close to for my liking. I feel like all of this is very odd and I almost start wondering if I am dreaming, but I hear an alarm clock. I get up and have some confusion about the time and stress that we need to hurry because we will be late for work. Some random woman gets up from the other side of V and gives me a friendly, but timid smile. I wonder who she is, but become distracted again when my mother approaches me, wearing a Starbuck's apron. She looks thinner and way younger. Something still feels off, but I don't have time to think it through.

She gets in close and says, "You know, your brother is a douche-bag." This is way out of character for her and I feel confusion. All I can say is, "Yeah".
I don't say it but I think, "we're all douche;bags; It runs in the family, mom."
She turns away to a table with customers. I look around and see that I am in some diner or, apparently, coffee shop. My brother's wife is behind a counter and looks annoyed. I figure she must have heard what my mom said. Then, I see my brother taking a tray of coffees to a table of waiting customers across the room. I ask my mom why they are working here. She say's my brother has (something) illness.
I ask, "So, he just moved and started working here? Why!?"
Mom replies something, but I don't quite hear her. I am still trying comprehend the idea of my brother and his wife quitting their careers, moving halfway across the U.S., and taking up working at Starbucks over some mysterious illness to even listen to an explanation.

Ok I have got to be dreaming. I do a nose plug as I turn to look back at my mom and blow clean through. YES! As I take my hand from my nose, I feel something like a cat rubbing the back of my right leg. I look, but there is no cat. In fact my foot is wedged right in V's naked crotch! I look up at him and we are in some bathroom. Luckily, V is clothed in a very thick layer of soap bubbles. We share a moment of him squeezing my foot into his crotch with his thighs while flexing both arms, smiling at me. I shout, "WHOA! OK NOW! THIS IS TOO MUCH! I AM OUT OF HERE!" Being lucid I know I can just walk right out of this situation and not look back and that's exactly what I did.

As I enter the next room, I remember that I have been wanting to do some LD swordplay. The room is full of junk and I rummage around a bit, but my search is fruitless. I decide to blind summon a sword from around a large cardboard box, but only pull out a rubber bicycle grip. I decide to search the walls and something with a gold handle catches my eye; a sword. Nope, too swords. As I get close I notice they are way too tiny for me to have any fun. So, I decide to fake it. I take a sword, slap it on my left side, and draw it out with expectation of a full sized sword. Nope. It looks more like a letter opener than a sword. Out of ideas, I wonder into another room, but the dream quickly fades away.

I found myself running through a forest. Actually I wasn't myself, I don't know who I was, but there were others with me running. Anyway, then I saw wolves and I thought the other people were turning into wolves, so I better do it too. So I did, and it was awesome! We were running so fast, I think we were chasing something...then its all a blur.

Had another lucid dream this morning. My sense of touch shifted into the dream world before sight did. I knew I was in a dream when I could feel my way out of my bed as if it were an out-of-body experience. Seriously, in the beginning stage of the dream, I could feel my body start to shift. As I was standing next to my bed in total darkness, I tried to visualize to get some sight going. Got it working. Of course, like most of my previous WILDs, they start with me exiting my bedroom, down the hallway, through the hallway and out the front door into the street. The sky was overcast. I think I tried reading the stove clock before leaving. Naturally, it was blurry and distorted in the dream world.


Found Naomi, the dream character. Sadly, I don't have any better dream tasks to do other than search for this particular dream character over and over again. Why? I lack stability and dream control so I try to reach for low hanging fruit.

The mindfulness tweak I did was simply visualize the space outside of my head as if I was looking through my eyelids while also snapping my awareness to the present moment. I am trying to figure why I can only WILD after a 20-30 minute WBTB using mindfulness and not directly after waking up in the middle of the night as part of a DEILD. They were vivid non-lucid dreams, though.