All DJ Entries

I haven't been recording my dreams lately. I need to do better. I thought this one from last night was interesting.


Tom DeLonge and his wife Jennifer were sitting with me in what was supposed to be my family room. I pulled out a box that I had had for a long time. It was full of pictures and letters that Tom had written at an earlier time in his life. I told him that I had kept it, but that I had never opened it and looked at anything. He seemed very interested to see what was inside. He started reading old letters and would comment or laugh from time to time. As he read he sorted them in piles. He finally pushed a pile toward me and told me that I could read the things in that pile. I looked forward to reading them. I wondered what was in the other pile. I was knew it must be the more personal/private things. I was suddenly glad that this box had been at my house and not in the hands of someone who wouldn't have respected his privacy, who would have read the letters--or worse-- posted them online.

I wanted to ask Tom some questions, but as I looked at him I saw that he was looking through a magazine. I looked at his wife. She was just sitting quietly on the floor. I decided to go sit by her. I plopped down next to her and said something like, "Hi Jennifer. I don't really know much about you. Tell me about yourself."

And she started talking to me. She told me that life had been good but that 6 (I think) years ago everything changed when her dad was diagnosed with cancer. And she started telling me about the hell her family gone through with that.

I then told her that my life had changed (and then I couldn't remember how long it had been since my sister had gotten cancer. I thought and thought, but finally said "several years ago") I told her how my sister had died and how much I missed her.


-------

I know that this last part of the dream was inspired by my recent kayaking trip. I was with a group of ladies--some of which I knew and a few that I didn't. And I had done pretty much exactly what I did in the dream. I found a quiet time when we weren't kayaking to ask them to tell me about themselves so I could get to know them better.

The interesting thing is I found that Cancer had touched almost all our lives. Three (of seven) were cancer survivers. Two had husbands that had had cancer. And two of us had lost sisters to cancer. The only one who hadn't had cancer (or at least didn't mention it) had recently gone through an ugly divorce. It made me realize how many tragedies this group had overcome.

01/04/12

Note: Three days running… and this time I have more than one dream to post… yay! Of course part of the reason there are multiple dreams is because I have a cold right now, and that caused me to wake up more than I normally do.

Woman's Best Friend
I am in my own house, and I know there is something I want to do before I do anything else in dreams tonight. My dog, Thor, has been diagnosed with a melanoma in his mouth, which my mom says she thinks is getting bigger. He has an appointment with the vet tomorrow, so I want to take the chance to do a little healing on him. I leave my bedroom and find the dog in my mother's room, he is lying on the bed sleeping. I take his head in my hands, one hand on each side, looking into his big brown eyes. I sing the song "Voices" from the Macross Plus soundtrack while focusing healing energy into Thor.

Fly Me to the Moon
I am on the moon, on the green moon, everything looks more like it would on Earth. The moon has been terraformed. I see the Earth shining brightly in the sky, it is beautiful. Nomad is there with me, I go over to him, is it really him? It seems like it has been forever since I've had a confirmed shared dream... I go over to Nomad and say hello to him, I happen to think of him saying he has been having problems with carpel tunnel syndrome lately. I take both of his hands in mine and sing the song "Voices" from the Macross Plus soundtrack, focusing healing energy into Nomad. Maybe it can also help with the cold he has been fighting. I notice there is someone off to the side, they seem to be staying just out of sight. I wonder who it is. I ask Nomad if he was aware he is being followed. He looks over and says that is nothing new, he is always being followed. Now how about that Oblivion gate? Ok, let's go. I focus on opening a portal, using Avalon to find an Oblivion gate that needs closing. A portal opens and Nomad and I go through. I briefly see the landscape of Tamriel before I wake up.

Templars in Oblivion
I am in Tamriel, in the world of the game of Oblivion. Nomad is there with me, and I see movement off to the side. I wonder if there are bandits or enemies out there, but I don't really have time to check it out before I notice there is an Oblivion gate not far off. Nomad and I head in that direction, taking a brief flight to get to the gate. Nomad lands slightly before I do and kills two Clannfears before I even land. We go through the gate into Oblivion…

The Oblivion plane looks like I expect it to look, there are a couple of scamps there attacking us, we eliminate those quickly. I remove the head of a scamp with a sword that forms from Witchblade. I am starting to get into the Oblivion theme, and I remove a piece of skin from the dead scamp, that will be useful in potions later. Nomad and I are exploring the world of Oblivion, though I am taking quite a bit of time heading to each cluster of bloodgrass and harvesting some to make potions from. Nomad seems amused by my gathering of the bloodgrass. A couple more scamps attack us, and then a daedra appears with a sword. I hit the daedra with a bolt of lightning, Nomad removes its head. There is movement behind us. I turn to look and there are Templars here! Where did they come from? I tell them they are in the wrong game, get out of Oblivion and into Assassin's Creed. One of them, there are three of them, says there isn't anywhere we can go that they can't follow. A daedra emerges from behind the Templars and draws its sword. I tell them to look behind them, they're being attacked. One of the Templars says they're not dumb enough to fall for that. That Templar finds the sword of the daedra running through his middle. The daedra kills the three Templars and then attacks Nomad and me, I attack the daedra with my sword and run it through. I see Nomad is fighting something else, but I wake up at this point.


Close Shut the Jaws of Oblivion
I am on the planes of Oblivion with Nomad, there are quite a few dead scamps around us as well as a couple of dead daedra. He says it's good of me to come back. I say my cold woke me up. We enter into the tallest tower I can see and I see the familiar base of the tower of Oblivion. We enter the area called the "Blood Feast." It is the base of the tower, there is a beam of fire shooting up the tower to where the sigil stone sits at the top. I start playing through as I normally do, I kill two scamps and a daedra at the bottom of the tower. Nomad is looking up the beam and he says this should be easy… then he starts flying up the beam. I look after him and say of course it's easy if you use cheat codes… He looks a bit puzzled. I comment he must have used a cheat code in order to fly. But if he wants to cheat… I fly up with Nomad. Even though he is flying directly to the sigil stone, he is not doing it to avoid fights. He stops off on a couple of the paths along the way just so he can fight a daedra or a scamp that is shooting at us. We reach the top of the tower quickly, I go over and kill a couple of daedra that are waiting there for us to come from the opposite direction.

Nomad is looking at the sigil stone floating in the air, floating right in the middle of the beam of fire. I say all we have to do is take it to shut down this Oblivion gate. I reach out and take the stone from its place, which causes a big explosion and then we are standing back in Tamriel beside a ruined gate. The sigil stone is vibrating in my hand with energy. I ask if Nomad wants to keep the stone, then I hand it to him. I can get many more. He is looking at the stone when I wake up.

This dream refers to a previous dream I once had, depicting my cousin (who I will call "Yu" for the sake of this dream-journal entry) and his father (my uncle) suddenly deciding to go overseas.

Last Night's Dream:

I was sitting in my lounge room with my parents, two sisters, and one of my three brothers. There was a knock on the door, and my uncle, his wife and Yu came in. My mother mentioned something about them coming back from overseas and asked me if I remembered anything from that day (it was an actual dream I once had haha). [I only remembered some details however. It involved a hospital and POSSIBLY an older version of a friend's girlfriend (of whom I have no attraction to). I had that dream a couple of months ago BEFORE I started writing in my Dream Journal.] My uncle then mentioned that his son, Yu, had suddenly started to vomit afer his arrival back to Australia, so they took him to a hospital for a check-up.

My mother (suddenly knowing all the details EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS SITTING WITH ME THE WHOLE TIME AND JUST HEARD THIS NEWS ) then said that the doctor called it "Fidal". In my dream I was confused as I'd never heard an illness by that name before, and concluded that she meant Vital.

I decided to search up "FIDAL" on my laptop (when I turned it on, I had three internet windows open; two with 7 or 8 tabs and one with 2 or 3 tabs. They were all open on a forum with a dark background), but then a notification popped up telling me I had 8 emails (THE WEIRD THING IS, IN REAL LIFE I ALSO HAD RECIEEVED EIGHT EMAILS OVER NIGHT ) I went on to the e-mail site, but it didn't seem to work -.-, so I went back to searching Fidal.

I typed it in on Google, and a few results came back, but one stood out. I don't quite remember what it said, but none of the results had anything to do with illnesses. Then I got distracted by my oldest sister holding up a camera and videoing (sp? taping? can't think of other words :L!) everyone for no apparent reason.

Everytime the camera focused on someoen, their line of sight was shown in green (in the real world (dream world? :L ! ) ) I thought this concept was amazing, until I saw the camera focusing on Yu's hand and saw a big lump (that looked like a mmosquito bite). I then realised he had cancer. My uncles wife mentioned performing laser surgery, while my mum mentioned that he had recieved cancer because he frequntly disobeyed his parents (which is true in real life), and, due to this, we should all obey our parents more. I beleived it -.- (wtf?!)

My sister (the younger of my two sisters in that room, but older than me. I shall call her Mia for the sake of this dream-journal entry. She also frequently appears in my dreams, especially nightmares, possibly because I am very close to her) asked Yu if he wanted to be tall and built or skinny and short. (wtf? ) I thought this was insensitive as I was assuming he would die early or not eb able to get built, because he had cancer. Yu didn't seem to realise this, though, and nodded at hte former. Afterwards, everyone proceeded to leave the house to go to a neighbourhood park. Mia stayed back, however, and a pizza box and my sister's best friend (also a first cousin) appeared out ofno where. My sister and cousin then proceeded to proceeded to talk about school, while I watched some TV.

There was a show about nature hosted by the host of Australia's got talent (in my dream he was blonde though). He mentioned facebook in a negative way (can't remember what though). Another show came on, but I ignored it and went for a slice of very cheese pizza
I woke up after almost taking a bit of Pizza -___- it looked so yum </3

These were my first decently vivid ones in a while... some weird shit, bro!

So in one of these dreams, I was at some kind of theme/thrill park - but this park was in the forest, and everything was built out of old wood, and the paths were dirt. There was a "ride", or more like a tour, that I went on that involved walking around this old wooden enclosure that was extremely humid. I had some notebooks and back-to-college items with me, and everything was getting all wet and fucked up. It was making me so angry! There were these little Lilo-and-Stitch creatures too (in that they looked like Stitch... never seen the movie) that had these fleshy crowns on top of their heads. When I wasn't too busy trying to save my notebooks and getting soaked by the hot dripping air, I would look up at one of these guys and that fleshy crown would open up to reveal some kind of luminescent glowing fairy thing. Later on, me and another visitor had a great little chat about religion.

In other new, I dreamed of going to war. Kind of. This section was wrapped around some kind of conspiracy theory... I THINK it went as follows, kind of: all that our military truly has access to is bows and arrows, and all this stuff we see about guns and tanks on the TV is just a big computer-generated lie, and our military hasn't had access to such technology since the Atlantean War in '92.

Anyways... I was somehow armed with an automatic rifle despite this conspiracy, and was involved in a trench-style standoff between my unit and oncoming military. Who were also armed with rifles. The shooting was very video-game-like. With digital crosshairs and such. I took a few out with headshots and it was damn satisfying. Towards the end, there was kind of like a "boss level" where tons of enemy guys rushed at me. I wasn't scared because it had become far too much like a video game.

There was also a segment that started out with Dad being angry at me and making me run laps. Don't remember what for. Eventually, that seamlessly morphed into some kind of scene in which I was atop a wooden tower with an annoying woman-friend of mine, while watching a riot/and/or/party burning on the street below us. Burning, like fire.

Finally... a really disturbing dream slash nightmare managed to sneak in. It was inspired by my reading about the inefficacy of evil Chemotherapy before bed. (Something to look into, by the way: the FDA works to serve Big Pharma, not the individual: they have been systematically preventing the release of natural and effective cancer preventions and cures for at least the last decade-and-a-half: they profit off of keeping you sick, not curing you...)

Moving on, in this dream I saw a bunch of old people thrown into this bare, concrete room as they underwent Chemotherapy and were subjected in their delirium to toxic drugs, pissing all over each other and dying slowly in this cold room, each one blindly hoping for a cure... God, I don't know if I want to go on. :/


Circumstance:
7.5 hrs sleep
Hemp protein/rice-milk/tomato/avocado/Spirulina/Chlorella smoothie before bed
Woke up around 6am to go to the bathroom, which gave me a good chance to review and commit to memory the first part of the nights dreams.

I am pushing my friend David against a big grey pick-up truck over and over again. Once I stop we walk away from the truck into what looks like a school yard.

I get lucid

I know that I am dreaming and I realize that this is an opportunity for me to say something difficult to David, almost like a practice run. I say “first of all we should practice that scene again” (referring to when I was pushing him against the truck. He agrees. I guess I felt like we were rehearsing for a play in the dream).

Now Trevor (a guy we went to school with) is standing beside us. I mention that I’d like to speak to David privately. I am very nervous even though it is a dream. I find it very difficult but I say it anyways because I know it is a dream, “Also it makes me sad to think that I might lose you sooner than I’d like”. As I say this I begin to cry. The dream starts to get very fuzzy. I think we hugged.

The end.

I should explain why I chose to say this in my dream. I found out that my friend David was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia while I was away at rehab. Since I’ve come home I haven’t been able to talk about it with him in person, only over the phone. I was afraid to cry in front of him because I worried that it would make him uncomfortable. I talked to one of my counselors about it and I realized that by talking to him about it and by crying I would simply be showing him that I care. She instructed me to tell him that it makes me sad to think that I might lose him sooner than I’d like. I saw this dream as an opportunity to try it.

i only remember bits and pieces of this one, i had to wake up with an alarm, and i didn't try to remember any dreams. it all takes place at school, the first bit is me being in the gym. theres a bunch of other people there, standing around goofing off. then they tell someone to come over, a dude in front of me. they have the door open when they say it, and when the dude came over, they shoved him outside and locked the door. everyone started laughing lol. the next bit i remember is being outside of the school, it's not my school on the outside. i went somewhere to get a box for something, but i didn't want to go back into the school. i wandered around the school, wasting time. the next bit i remember is being next to a teacher and a set of stairs leading into the school. i asked the teacher what was going on and she said that some kid i didn't know died of cancer. a bunch of people were coming to the school to honor him or something. i tried to feel bad but hot people from my school kept showing up in slutty clothing, and then walking up the stairs right next to me lol. thats all i remember.

I often have dreams of getting cancer. Unfortunately, this is pretty much the only one I remember well enough to type out.

I am twelve years old, and I am at my house, sitting on the couch, when suddenly, I feel excruciating pain in my left arm. It feels like my skin is being ripped off. I look down at my arm, and what I see makes me physically sick. My arm has turned black and blue, and it looks like it has been boiled. Then, as I watch, a giant blood cell shaped like a concave donut rises up from my veins, bulging under my skin. But it wants to keep growing. It grows larger and larger, and the skin gets vacuumed to the blood cell. It hurts so much I start to scream. Then, more blood cells rise up from the surface like some sort of pox. Little ones, big ones, medium sizes ones, hundreds of them, until my arm is a lumpy mass of blood cells.
I scream and run to my dad, holding my arm in my right hand. I run up to him and show it to him. He looks at it carefully, then says, “Hmm, I guess I’m gonna have to take you to the doctor. But for now, just push them down.” I try to push down on one, but it only slides between my skin and my muscle, ripping my skin off my muscles. I slowly slide it all the way around my arm. It slides under my bone and goes away. I keep doing this until I get to the doctor.
The doctor looks at my arm and says, “hmm, it appears you have skin cancer.” He pulls out a needle the size of a hammer and jams it into my arm. It feels like I’m being stabbed. He injects me with a liquid, and it makes the blood cells disappear. “They will come back until you have chemotherapy, but until then, just shoot it up when they come back.” He hands me the giant needle and walks out. In a matter of seconds the blood cells return. I inject myself but they just grow larger. They grow and grow until my arm bursts and everything goes black.

This is one of the dreams that still makes me sick to my stomach when i think about it. Another one is when I again had skin cancer, which caused my arms to grow wooly mammoth hair and my leg hairs to grow thick, rubbery, and hollow like rubber tubing.