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Morning of November 8, 2018. Thursday.

Dream #: 18,952-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. Readability score: 63.



I become aware in non-lucidity of being in an unknown room in semidarkness. Marilyn (half-sister on my mother’s side, deceased) is watching something on a big screen. (I do not recall that she had died in February 2014, and I had not seen her in real life since February 1994. She appears as she was in the 1960s.) It is not discernible at first. A slide projector and another device are near me. The image on the screen is mostly sky, but there is a fuzzy pale rendering of a broadcast tower. I make some remarks about it. (Eventually, there had been some unusual thoughts about which times near the end of the year that Marilyn had been alive and when she had not, which makes no sense. My non-lucid dream self must have forgotten the definitions of “death” and “life.”)

Over time, I turn a dial on the device and the image of the broadcast tower becomes clearer. Soon, the imagery changes and is taking up the entire screen as a lattice of a broadcast tower. Simultaneously, my dream becomes more vivid. I realize that I can now create and control imagery, but I am not yet lucid.

I bring about the imagery of a tunnel to my right. It is holographic and about four feet up from the floor. It is a corrugated metal culvert pipe. My cat Smokey from over twenty years ago comes through, and I pet her. I explain to Marilyn what cat it is even though she would have known. There is something within my mind about summoning a denizen from the nexus, the space between dreaming and waking, which the cat represents. I realize that the broadcast tower was a deliberate creation to augment the dynamics of my current conscious self identity in the dream state and so I enter apex lucidity, where the dream state is wholly mine. Looking at the broadcast tower lattice, it now appears to have pieces of pillow stuffing in equidistant patterns in certain corners.

I summon a young Zsuzsanna as when we first met in 1994. She shines with internal energy. The tangibility reaches hyper-realistic forms, indistinguishable from waking life other than being more defined than would be possible in reality. We indulge in making love for a considerable time. There is a point where she floats above me, glowing internally, and rushes at me, this stemming from deliberate anticipation. There is a notion of a vampire theme (in a role-playing context, though horror movie scenarios have remained difficult to make as I have gotten older), initiated by typical lucid dream state frisson, but I cannot sustain the concept, as my thinking skills are too active.

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Certain levels of apex lucidity are such a different experience and level of perception and control it is like a different level of existence. The broadcast tower of enhancing the dream state seems as viable as the opening of a door (or opening a wall like a door) or the use of a staircase.

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Morning of February 14, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,685-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min 30 sec.



My dream’s irrelevant setting is the dining room of the Loomis Street house. Zsuzsanna is with me (mostly remaining on my left as in our sleeping orientation). I am digging up roots from parts of sections of grass for a new garden within the “ground” (floor), so only dirt remains.

After spending several minutes pulling roots from the dirt of the dining room “floor,” I notice the end of a section of a little culvert within a hole in the ground of about four inches deep.

When I focus on the little culvert, I think an animal may live in it or that it leads to the animal’s home underground. (I do not consider how ridiculous the idea is for an animal to build a tiny culvert as if by human design). There is a familiar anticipatory feeling caused by the subliminal expectation of waking process dynamics.

I briefly mention it to Zsuzsanna. My older sister Marilyn makes a brief appearance (mostly as she was in the 1960s) and I have illogical thoughts about whether she had died. Because of her death, Bob is moving her belongings even though she had been in the house minutes before.

An answer to my expectation begins. A tiny grayish snake (though of various shades, including a brown tone) crawls from the little culvert. It is only about the size of an earthworm. It eventually crawls to the kitchen. My dreaming mind is expecting this, but it is so vague, the snake stops moving. I consider I may have killed it with my thoughts.

Looking into the living room from the dining room, I see about a dozen long blades of grass on the floor. There seems to be an unrealistically large table taking up much of the living room as I am looking under it from the opposite end of the dining room. I wonder if one of these grass pieces is the snake (which makes no sense as it had just been in the kitchen). There is never a perceived threat. It is as if my dream self is trying to activate RAS again by anticipating a small snake manifesting from a grass blade. No snake appears, and I awake, too warm (even with our fan on).

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Yeye, it was a long time since I remembered a dream enough to write it down.

First there are some vague memories of playing trackmania with kim. Then I was playing (or experiencing) some other game that I think was oblivion. I was in a very dark hallway with a huge sword. Some undeads or something approached me and i had to slice them. Even though I was there myself, it did still feel as if I steered from a computer or something. For instance, I had to drag a mouse to swing the sword and it was somewhat difficult to time.

I proceeded through some hallways and corridors that were really dark with undeads here and there. Outside it was winter and really cold and windy. It was snowing those really small snow flakes that kinda stings your face when it is windy at the same time. The surrounding was quite different now and I had no sword or such. I walked around switching on lights to make it bright because the undeads wouldn't spawn then (lol i didn't realise before, but minecraft?). The place was some kind of apartment. Suddenly simon and some other friends that I can't remember was there. When I had lit up a part we said that it was a really cosy small apartment or something. It was a living room and some bedrooms.

I continued on to light more switches and realised that the place wasn't that small. I found a second living room with a really strange bass guitar hanging on the wall. I _think_ that I thought something like "Oh, that is a fugly bass guitar. It is only because this is a dream." or something but I didn't become lucid. I went down a basement (that I also lit up) and from there I found paths to the hospital culverts. I thought that was really cool because I have always enjoyed exploring the culverts. I saw a doctor that I followed. After a while I arrived at some kiosk thingy that were selling candy. I wanted to buy some. While standing there in queue, I took up my wallet to find two tio-kronor to pay with. I could only find one because my wallet were full of foreign money. Many were Australian, lol. I don't know where the other foreign money was from but many were really similar to tio-kronor and I never managed to find two.

Morning of May 25, 1975. Sunday.



Background information: This dream seemed to relate to simultaneous associations of seeing razor blades as primarily dangerous combined with a concern about becoming ill from mosquito bites as well as leeches. There was also a brief incident at Lake Katherine where a few other teenagers (at least one wearing a razor blade as a pendant), walking by when our class was on a field trip, made threats about using a razor blade to slice up our backsides. The female teacher looked worried but did not react and the others just kept walking. I am not aware of anyone being killed in this dream, though the idea seems very plausible. My concern is possibly minimal due to wearing a repellent (such as “Off”) of some kind, though I believe it is a special type of “cologne” in my dream (and even this potential was possibly influenced from a television commercial about “Off”).

This is not a more pronounced nightmare (I am not fully active in it nor emotionally bothered in any sense, although I am actually fully in-body in my Cubitis front yard for the most part, near the culverts that are about one-third filled with water), but it is a somewhat negative dream about a type of “giant flying one-celled animal” like a protozoa (though they are about the size of large moths and likely not one-celled relative to real-life logic), that attack and supposedly somehow eat people when rising out of culvert water and flying in groups of twenty or more (and it seems they live mostly in the water of the culverts or ponds as well as slightly flooded areas of parts of lawns). They have one maneuver where they tip sideways, mostly on the diagonal and moving about in a horizontal semicircular arc as such.

I am not entirely sure why I decided to call this dream “Diamond Crawlers” back in the mid-1970s in my original dream journal entry, as they never crawled anywhere much; they mostly just rose from shallow water (when people were around) and flew around in a diamond-shape formation and were vaguely reminiscent of a diamond in form and body appearance. They resemble a transparent leech, shaped somewhat like a rounded-off truncated plus sign, but longer along the length than the winglike protruding sides (which is akin to an airplane having very short wings and is not realistically feasible), with the mostly translucent pattern of a glass-like razor blade in mid-body. Calling this dream “Razor Blade Flyers” would have made more sense, I suppose, but sounds ridiculous in afterthought. It is possible I was thinking of diamondback snakes at the time and just threw that absentmindedly into my dream’s title.

The new image I made does not do justice to their transparent nature, but is fairly close otherwise.