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yea yea yea I know I hardly ever post my dreams anymore..

SOMEBODY HEL- oh.

I was in school(like most of my dreams) in some class with my friend Aub and some other student. We were the only ones in the classroom for some reason, and out of no where there was some screaming and some people shouting "OH MY GOD!" I was too scared to go outside the classroom and see what was going on, so I just sat there and watched as Aub looked out the door and was like "SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING! OH MY GOD!" but it seemed as if no one did anything. So I asked Aub what was going on out there, and she said something about boys on fire. So I finally went outside the classroom and saw something really disturbing. Two naked teenage guys going at it who were apparently having hot burning love or something.. surrounded by pizza slices on the floor. No wonder no one went to the rescue. I saw one of the teachers, Mrs. Sack., say "knock it off guys, seriously!!!!!!!" in a really angry voice, but the boys just kept going at it. Then I woke up. Ew. I thought something exciting was going to happen, but no, it was just two guys going at it.. at school... nothing out of the ordinary. ha

My Notes
Non-lucid
Lucid
Awake

Tonight, I decided to try to WILD with the help of a free lucid dreaming Iso tone I got from iso-tones.com. I would listen to if after I woke from my alarm.

My first dream, and in fact all my dreams this night, were very long & vivid. The first dream wasn't very pleasant. I was standing outside my bedroom with my older brother. We were looking inside my bedroom. There were six spiders on the inside of my window. Six spiders. In the real world, I'm quite scared of spiders, but it's x10 worse if the spider is in my room. I express my disbelief to my brother.
The scene changes; I'm in my backyard with my younger brother. My bed is also out there. Since it's a dream, the extension has yet to be built. It's night-time, and we're spraying the bed with my insect & bug killer. i don't miss a spot.
I'm back in my room. I notice, in the cupboard, there is an old dirty hole. I franticly spray in there. I think to myself, it must be where they get it. I don't see any more spiders. I feel that since they're all gone, and that the holes have all been sprayed, no more should be in my room again. This gives me some peace of mind.

I'm back outside again. There is a big old-looking tree. It has a tarp, I think a green one, going over it. On the top of the tree (it's slightly taller than me) is a disturbing sight. It's a mouse, completely engulfed in spider webs. The tree is covered in spider webs, that look similar to beeswax. My little brother, who is now with me, doesn't realise what it is. I have to explain it's a mouse.

My alarm wakes me up. I remember to use the iso, combined with WILD. I listen to the entire 30 minute MP3. I'm still nowhere near entering SP, and my hair is beginning to itch, so I decide to just go for WBTB instead. I remind myself to become lucid, and to remember my goals and to stabilise the dream. This pays off.

I would rate the following lucid dream as a layer three, minor.

Spoiler for Layer Three:

Layer Three (Minor):
You'll realise you're dreaming and fully understand the implications of what dreaming really is. The dream will be stable and vivid. However, you'll not have full control over your actions and at points it may feel like you're watching a film. You understand that the dream characters are merely a facet of your imagination, although they still believe that they're real.

When you become lucid, you understand the full implications, but you're not in total control. Because you're watching it unfold without any real influence over it, you become so immersed in the dream you lose lucidity. Later on you regain lucidity and remember how earlier on in the dream you were also lucid.

I'm on a stretch of road, in a small town. I don't really how I become lucid; I think I was lucid from the beginning. I excitedly rub my hands to stabilise the dream. I yell "This is a dream" many times. As I do this I notice some buildings in the distance increasing in detail. I want to finally complete some of my dream goals. I consider finding my DG, but I realise that may take some time, so I just try to find my dream name instead. A friend of mine named Harry.B is in a black car near me. I get in the car as he starts to drive. I ask him my dream name. He think for a few moments. He says "Hansen Francis." I can tell by the look on his face, and the fact that a friend of mine is called Hansen, that he just made this up. I decide to disregard this. Whilst in the car I have to yell "This is a dream" a few more times.
By now, my lucidity is fading. I'm still lucid, just much less aware. I'm at school outside my lockers, and I'm still trying to find out my dream name. I ask a kid named Luke. He gives me a very intellectual speech on how one does not just find his dream name, he must earn it. I'm surprised at how much sense he's making. I remember for a few moments being in the canteen, but this doesn't last long.
Now I'm outside again. There is a big factory to my right. Nobody is near me. I decide to try and fly. Since my logic was still not working very well, this was very extremely easy. I just jumped up, and off I went. I was thinking to myself how badly I didn't want to forget this when I awoke. Then I woke up.

Only when I woke up, did I realise how un-lucid the end of that dream had become. I happily wrote the the dreams down.

I went back to sleep for a short while. I had a third very vivid but short dream. I was in my maths class, which was very dark and gloomy. Sitting next to me on my left was my school crush. I hear someone to my right on the other side of the room talking to her. I'm slightly embarrassed, and incredibly sick. I have a very runny nose and headache. I keep coughing and sneezing. I look to my left again to see that an old lady had sat between me and my crush.

I'm ticking the "task of the month" DJ category because I believe "find your dream name" was a previous one. I'm going to try my luck with the Iso tones again tonight. Hopefully I can use it to aid WILD.

regular/lucid? dreams: 11-23-10

I skipped school today since I didn't have much going on and I needed to work on finishing my college applications so I slept late and had tons of dreams. For my Psychology class, we are supposed to start keeping a dream journal, which of course is really easy for me, but the problem is that most of my dreams are much too disturbing and I don't think I want my teacher reading them.. so I post them on here instead.


Old Rapist
I was at the house of an old man, along with some other people, and I think some of my friends where there. I don't remember much, but what I do remember is that people would wait in a line to be raped or something crazy like that, and there was blood everywhere, the house was dirty, people were puking, it was gross. After that I went to my next-door neighbor's house and me and my friends were sitting at the counter. My friend started puking, and I tried to puke too because I felt like I had to because of all the gross things I went through but nothing really came out.


Yuck!
Me and my friend Sydney went to a public indoor pool to go swimming. I looked down and already had on my swimsuit, with was mismatched because I brought the wrong top.. or bottom.. or both. I had one of those cami tops on that cover your stomach and I had striped bikini bottoms on that had the Marble Blast Gold logo on them, which I thought was pretty cool(I'm a dork like that). But before I went swimming I really had to go to the bathroom, so I went into a room but it had no toilet so I went through a door in that room that led to another room, and in that room was my teacher(not going to say which one) and some other guys. The only toiled was in the middle of the room. They said they would turn their backs while I went so I sat down but then my teacher started walking towards me in nothing but her underwear and fat hanging out everywhere. I knew that this wasn't actually happening because I wasn't even supposed to go to school this day so part of me knew I was dreaming. But anyway, I sat on the toilet for awhile while she watched me.. it was so gross.

Rhinoplasty
For some reason, I got a nose job because I didn't like my old nose, it was too big or something. I remember taking of the bandages and looking at it in the mirror, liking it even though it didn't look that different. I kept touching it but my mom or friend or whoever was like "you're not supposed to touch it for atleast 3 days!" but it didn't hurt or anything. I realized that I didn't even remember going in the hospital to get the surgery, getting the anesthesia, or even waking up for that matter. But here I was with a brand new nose.

Rollerblading
I went rollerblading down the hill by my house. I was gaining speed quickly and got scared and slowed down but it was too late. I slipped and hit the ground face first, but the ground was rubbery and it didn't hurt at all.


Did I use two different shades of purple for this? They look the same to me..

I swear, my dreams are getting more and more disturbing.

regular dreams: 9-6-10

The first two dreams are from several nights ago and they are kinda depressing/disturbing. I don't really know why I had these dreams, probably from watching too many scary movies or something. The last dream is from last night. I can't remember much so they are just fragments.

Rape
I don't know who's house we were at, mine or someone else's. There was this middle aged woman there, with curly brown hair. I was just standing there watching as this guy was creeping around the outside of the house trying to break in. I called the cops but the line was busy and they never came. The guy got in the house and raped her right in front of me. This happened multiple times, it was like the dream was repeating itself and I couldn't change the outcome.

My Suicide
I was in my room and I'm not sure why but I wanted to die. So I think I took some pills or maybe cut my wrists, I don't remember. There were some people trying to get in my room and help me but they couldn't. I knew that I wouldn't die no matter what because I think part of me might have known that I was in a dream and I can't get injured in dreams. So all I really remember is sitting on the floor in my room dying.. or not.

Late For Class
It was third block(hour, class, whatever) and I was at my locker talking to a friend. I had forgotten what class I had next and the time clock was counting down. I started freaking out and looked at my schedule and saw that I had accounting class next(I don't even take that class in real life) and it was downstairs. So I hurriedly walked to the back of the school and to the right to a staircase(even though there's not one there in real life) and got to class like 5 minutes after the bell rang. But it didn't matter because the teacher said he never takes attendance and didn't care. Then I realized that I might have early lunch instead of late so I didn't even know if I was supposed to be there.

Note: I went to bed tonight with an unexpected goal. MoSh had come on the computer and said there were some disturbing things going on with him, he'd had a nightmare, so my goal was to go check out MoSh's inner world and make sure things were ok in there. This was the goal I had in mind when I fell asleep. Once again no WILD, but I did have the following dreams…

I was at work. It was the hospital where I used to work. I was sitting at my desk. I had been sleeping. Crap… I looked around and saw Susie also asleep. Well, at least I hadn't been seen sleeping. I got up and paced a bit in the office to try to wake myself up. I woke Susie up. She looked up at me and asked what I was doing. I said I was sleepy so I was walking to wake myself up. She said to grab a pillow and sleep then, it was nap time. Nap time? Since when did my job have nap time? She must have seen that I was confused. She asked how else am I supposed to check the inside of the servers except through a lucid dream? She said I should get to sleep and into a lucid so I could go check out the MExchange1 server while she finished checking on the Harp0 server. She lied her head down to go back to sleep. Checking servers in lucid dreams? Better get in the habit of doing RCs. To begin that I did a RC right there. I could breathe through my nose even when I pinched it… I was dreaming right now! Screw this job! I'm outta here!

I walked out of the office and down the hall to the door that led to the fire exit. Concrete stairs led both up and down from there, but instead I climbed up on the concrete railing. I did another RC just to be sure, then I jumped into the air and flew. Yay flying! Yay lucid dream! Ok… focus. I flew away from the hospital and thought about my goals. I wanted to do a DDO dream… I wanted to open a locked book I have in my inner world… I wanted to complete the task of… MoSh! That name pushed into my head with force. MoSh! I had said I was going to go check out what had happened with MoSh! I bumped paying a visit to MoSh to the top of my list of goals. I focused on opening a portal… at first it didn't want to work, but then I focused harder and it opened. I flew through the portal…

I landed in the yard outside of MoSh's house. The weather was bright and sunny. I went over to the house. I could hear voices inside, a man and a woman were talking really mushy mush to each other. I looked inside through the window and saw MoSh and Asuka kissing pretty heavy. I didn't want to interrupt their make-out session. I turned to leave, but I remembered I was going to check on Asuka. I looked into the window again. I would check on both of their energies to see if there was any sign of contamination. I looked, focused, and I saw none. It wasn't just that I saw no contamination, I saw no energy at all! They weren't real! Wtf? I quickly made up a corny rhyme spell… "Dispel the vision that I see, from illusion set me free." The illusory MoSh and Asuka vanished… and the entire scene shifted…

Now I was in the basement of MoSh's house. MoSh and Asuka were chained to two separate stone tables. There were people there torturing them. I recognized the torturers, too. Nomad was peeling MoSh's skin off and Angel was sticking rusty nails in Asuka. Wtf?! No way could that really be Nomad and Angel… Whoever it was I was going to stop them. I went in to stop them and noticed again… no one there had any energy. I repeated the spell I'd made to dispel illusions… "Dispel the vision that I see, from illusion set me free!"

The scene shifted again, but not much this time. It had just shifted so that Nomad and Angel were being tortured by MoSh and Asuka instead of the other way around. "Dispel this vision that I see, from illusion… glurk…" My spell was interrupted when I nearly puked. MoSh had just torn one of Nomad's eyes out and fed it to Asuka, popping it into her mouth like a piece of candy… Yuck! I went through my dispel illusion spell faster so I wouldn't get distracted again… "Dispel this vision that I see, from illusion set me free!"

The scene changed again. Asuka tied up naked between two trees in a forest, MoSh videotaping as a line of disgusting looking men forced themselves on her. Asuka was screaming and crying… no… repeat dispel illusion spell… MoSh and Asuka swapped places, the ugly men were doing MoSh from the rear while Asuka filmed it and laughed, "How do you like it, you sick fuck?" Um… no… repeat dispel illusion spell. The scene shifted. Asuka and MoSh having pretty violent and raunchy sex… well, I don't know how they like to do it… The people had no energy, not real. Repeat dispel illusion. MoSh stabbing Asuka many times and then coming towards me with the bloody knife… no… dispel illusion… MoSh and Asuka skinning live animals, couldn't tell what kind… no… dispel illusion. This was getting ridiculous! Asuka giving oral pleasure to MoSh then suddenly ripping his… um… you-know-what off with her teeth… no… dispel illusion, dispel illusion, dispel illusion! Damn it! Why wasn't it working?! I focused carefully, not paying any attention to the screaming around me as who did I-don't-want-to-know-what to who… and focused on the spell, "Dispel this vision that I see, from illusion set me free. All this horror cannot be, make it gone, so mote it be!"

I stood there with my eyes closed a bit longer. No screaming… no sounds of raunchy sex… no crying… no sounds of animals in pain… I carefully opened my eyes. I was outside of MoSh's house. There was a strange fog hanging over the area. Q telepathically told me it's called a fog of illusion. The fog lent a creepy aspect to everything. I used the song Full Moonlight to gather up the strange fog from all over, in the house, all around… into a small orb that I threw into a void.

Ok, now where were MoSh and Asuka? I had to find them. I felt for their energy and found it. They were both in the house. I went in through the front door, following Asuka's energy because she was closer. I found her in the kitchen, in the pantry, cowering in the back corner trying to make herself invisible. She saw movement, shrank back, but then came to me crying tears of relief. She said she was so glad to see me… MoSh had been infected with dark energy, he was trying to kill her, and she hadn't been able to do anything for him. She said she had tried to get out of the house to get help, but he was always waiting there with his huge knife, saying which parts of her he wanted to cut off first… "Please help him," Asuka said, "It's not his fault… it's dark energy, I'm sure…"

I checked Asuka for energy corruption. I found none, but I did a Touch My Heart healing spell on her anyway. Golden energy flowed into her. I then followed MoSh's energy. It was downstairs in the basement. I found him there. He seemed to be sneaking along the back wall, trying to blend with the shadows, getting closer to the stairs. He saw me there and apparently thought I was Asuka. "Come on, Asuka," he said, "Try to fight it! You need healing! Just fight it for a bit… I really don't want to hurt you!"

"I'm not Asuka," I said. He heard my voice and recognized it. He came running over to me and put his arms around me. He said he was really glad to see me, Asuka needed healing… and she needed it bad. He motioned to the far side of the room. Shawna came out. MoSh said Asuka had tried to kill both of them, and neither Shawna nor him had been able to heal her. But she needed help badly… I would help, wouldn't I? I said I already had seen Asuka and I had used a healing spell on her. I used Touch My Heart on MoSh and Shawna, though they didn't look infected, either.

When MoSh and Asuka were in the same room, I told them what illusions I'd had to break through in order to get to the reality of MoSh's inner world. The psycho version of MoSh trying to kill Asuka and the psycho version of Asuka trying to kill MoSh and Shawna weren't real, they had just been illusions. Very convincing, very hard to penetrate. I told them there had been a strange fog all over the place, the fog of illusion. They seemed to understand and accept that, now everyone was pissed. Who the fuck had put that there? How had they gotten in? I wondered if it was something L had done when he was inside before, or if he had used another dirty trick to come back and do it… because if he had come back after the incident last night, he was apparently looking for a permanent playmate in Walms. The idea that L secretly finds being beaten to a pulp to be a turn-on crossed my mind briefly, but I got rid of that because it would make me sick very quickly…

Asuka, Shawna, and MoSh were all hugging now. MoSh pulled me into the hug. We all hugged there for a couple minutes, everyone was relieved that things seemed normal now. MoSh was thanking me for helping. I said I would be there to help any time, I was glad he and Asuka and Shawna were all ok. The dream slipped, and I woke up, disappearing right out of the group hug.