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Oh my goodness! I was on such a wonderful streak of happy dreams, but my lack of sleep only getting about 20 hours of sleep this entire week has had a big impact on quality and quantity.
I woke up in a work looking van tied up on the floor and felt drugged. I was very groggy and looking around to assess the situation. Even groggy I felt semi lucid thinking another bad dream? Then I actually took a minute to curiously process why I was dreaming this but then I saw a woman with long brown/grey streaked hair look into the passenger window and outside there were trees all over like we were in the woods. I had my hands behind my back with a gag in my mouth and my neck and shoulder were in pain. I heard the woman yell "she's awake". Then the back of the Van opened up with two doors and I was pulled out by my feet and thrown to the ground on my stomach. Then a man flipped me over on my back and he was very tall black/grey hair. There were also two boys that appeared to be teens, both brownish messy hair, all looking down on me. They picked me up and carried me to a picnic table where they sat me at. Then they seemed to go about their business. At some point the dad went to chop wood and the mom told me that they were terrified of him and he has killed several women. All I had to do was listen to her and I would stay alive. I still felt drugged but no fear. I knew this was a dream but didn't feel in control. I kept thinking is this a test? Should I wake up or should I see where this leads? Well then she tells me that if I can just withstand the cut, then I will likely survive. My eyes opened wide and she had tears. Then she said the cut goes from shoulder to shoulder and down under the collar bone like a half circle. YIKES! I was somewhat curious what this would feel like in a dream but freaked out at the same time. I tried to get the boys to come closer to see if they seemed just a bad as the father but they were off on their own. Next thing I knew there was a huge sharp knife...(OHHHHHHH my husband was watching Forged in Fire I thought hahahaha) Now I knew what I was dreaming this. I hate knives and told him that would be worse thing I could think of!!! Ok so I will feel this cut.
The man comes over with his knife out of the fire and he had the look of the devil in his eyes. Just as he is about to slice me I leave my body. No way I am sticking around, so I am now watching him from over his shoulder as he cuts a deep cut in me literally watching my skin open up. Eeew. I woke up at that point.

I always try to push out bad things and not let them in because I don't want nightmares lol. This was kinda funny as being aware.

Starting to recall some longer dreams again

+ ship game: FP view, "full-screen" graphics. View out of the cockpit of a plane/ship, taking off and landing on bases amongst hills. Getting a large team together, flying in formation, approaching and trying to figure out how to use the refueling mother ship. Reading directions, come back to body, there are switches that must be thrown in a particular combination in order for the refueling/resupplying to work, I'm carrying the cheat-sheet with me and looking at it and adjusting the settings.

+ driving downtown medium-sized city like B in daytime. Trying to determine the correct routes/allowed turns, making turns at green lights

+(f) there is a guy who is older and a great runner, it's unexpected how good he is

+(f) walking up the sidewalk my friend is going to the (disco?), I walk past it and look to the right inside but there are only a few (large?) women in there. I see my friend just up the street at a (pizza?) place, he's laughing

+ reunion at WFP (college house w/friends), there is a guy down where DB lived I talk to him on the phone, I think of offering him a ride but he's coming on his own. As I float DO towards the reunion house I look down the long snowy street and try to see his little body in the distance walking but don't see it

+ I'm hooking up TVs which are hanging down from the ceiling and trying to figure out the wiring. There is B and S university TVs. They have different connectors. Someone comes and is listening to the report on the S TV.

+ I'm sitting on a bench in an alcove and thinking about having some "quality me time." I'm covering myself with a blanket. A guy comes and hangs around that that puts a damper on the whole thing.

Morning of January 17, 2017. Tuesday.



In my goal to strengthen my online journal against the fallacy of “dream interpretation”, I have, to the best of my ability, clarified this entry and recompiled the underlying meaning and root influences.

I am alone in an unfamiliar car in late morning, though which is implied to be my dream self’s car. I am parked near the center of the parking lot of Skogen’s IGA in La Crosse, logically facing south towards the store’s entrance. Although I am in America, the driver’s side is on the right. There are several other parked cars around, all with people in them. (Both the driver’s side being on the wrong side and all the cars in the parking lot illogically having people in them are dream-state indicators. Erroneous dream-state indicators of this type are so common, it seems to be a natural dividing mechanism to separate dream-state memory from real-life memory).

After a few minutes of looking around as I am seated behind the steering wheel (with no backstory as to whether there was intent to go into the store or to leave and drive elsewhere), an unknown male erratically drives a car around in the parking lot. There is machine gun fire from the car and someone (in the car) is hollering about a race. In the car are two males who are dressed as 1920s gangsters. It seems that everyone is being challenged to get away and to apparently hide somewhere. I am not sure if there is a literal finish line.

I decide to drive away as quickly as possible. I go down an alley which is seemingly the one behind the Loomis Street house. I drive into a large garage and get out of the car though sit near it in the semidarkness. It seems I may be safe here.

After a time, there is activity just outside in the alley. The gangsters are looking for the people who had driven away from the parking lot. I hear objects falling over just outside the garage but I remain still. I do not think they will find me.

Eventually, I look up and see a large circular hole in the ceiling of the garage and a giant human eye, atypically rendered in black and white, peers down through the hole. The eye and its movement has somewhat of a slight blurry effect as if a giant television was just above the hole in the ceiling, facing downwards. There are even a couple lines of “static” as the eye moves side to side as if in REM sleep, though it remains open, unblinking. I am not sure if I will be seen but I do not feel afraid. This surreal situation does not trigger any sense of it being impossible.

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Step-by-step explanation for the inexperienced:

In my dreams, sitting in a car in a parking lot (or simply being in a parking lot) is a biological indicator of being in bed and typically represents the last stage of a sleep cycle, the subliminal “waiting period” for the increase in beta neural activity (13–30 Hz). This has been validated from the study of hundreds of parallel examples since early childhood. There is no reason to assume that the parking lot is “symbolic” of anything in real life, which does not even make any sense other than perhaps to people falling prey to the Barnum effect of “dream interpretation”.

My dream self typically runs away simply out of the lack of enthusiasm over waking up (more obvious in this case as I subliminally knew what being in the parking lot meant even though my dream self did not), though which is random and completely unrelated to how I view sleep or waking in general (and after all, every day is different). My dream self typically runs away from the more dominant preconscious (until the emergent consciousness is linked and activated), which most often has absolutely nothing in common with me or of any relevance to my waking life. It is not known whether the noise outside the garage, another form of liminal space, was based on real environmental noise, but it seems likely, especially as the REM symbolism was activated right afterwards.

The very last scene, an intriguing indicator of being in REM sleep, was directly influenced by the “Don’t Open Till Doomsday” episode of “The Outer Limits” television series, which I had not seen in years and first watched as a child while I drifted in and out of sleep and lucid and semi-lucid dream states. (This was a major influence that heightened my interest in various levels of consciousness.) The episode, on one level, is a perfect metaphor for the conscious self subliminally “watching” the fictional dream self. In fact, my dream even included the black-and-white television imagery from the original show, even including the static.

Finally, there is another layer of meaning. In this case, it is almost like an analogy to my life. In order to viably clarify it, I must quote part of an original summary of the episode: “In 1929, a pair of young newlyweds receives a mysterious box-like object wrapped as a wedding gift with a cryptic label reading ‘Don’t Open Till Doomsday’. Unbeknownst to his bride, the bridegroom is zapped by a beam of light emanating from this object when he removed it from the wrapping, and seemingly disappears out of existence. In 1964, an eloping couple arrives at the house in the hopes of using it as a honeymoon spot, now a half-derelict mansion owned by Mrs. Kry, an eccentric old woman who turns out to be the aforesaid bride, driven to insanity after her husband disappeared. After the younger bride herself disappears inside the box, it is revealed that Mrs. Kry has been luring young couples to her house, in the hope of 'trading’ them for her lost bridegroom, with an alien intelligence residing inside the box.”

How does this relate to me and my life? The box represents the fictional and contained form of a dream limited by a total lack of understanding of dreams (that nearly all “interpreters” exhibit), or believing that a dream relates only to current real-life status. This is like an alternate timeline (in metaphor) of what could have happened if I (or Zsuzsanna) had believed in “interpretation” (“receiving the box”) when I was growing up. That is, I would not have ultimately learned that the “mystery girl” of my dreams, rather than being “symbolic” or of solely being another aspect of myself, was actually literally precognitive of my eventual joining with my “mystery girl” Zsuzsanna. This is pure truth.

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Curious marker: This dream was on the morning of January 17, 2017. The episode of “The Outer Limits” that influenced it was from season 1, episode 17.

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Night 1:
I remembered nothing when I woke up. Rip

Night 2:
I remembered a bit. Might have had a lucid but I only remember fragments so I won't count it as I can't confirm.

I remember riding on the back of a train by holding on for my life

I remember meeting 2 DCs that were residents from one of my old dream worlds. Their apartment could be removed from one world and join another and that's how they survived. I remember getting a tour of their apartment.

I also remember fighting a giant ice golem and getting killed. Turns out karate doesn't work on a 20 ft tall giant made of ice.

Total points: 3 (rip)

Night 3:
Oh boy, 3 lucids

Lucid 1: It started with myself finding a cave beside a giant tree. In the cave, there were several machines that could spawn stuff that they were preset to do. Some spawned food and stuff and others spawned monsters. Upon seeing these machines, I became lucid. I remember other people from the forums being there and the winner won some prize. Forgot what the prize was. There was a lot to this that I didn't remember but oh well, that's just how it goes.

I remember that in between this dream and the next, I pretended to sleep walk in the dream world, not sure why, but that's what I remember.

Lucid 2:
I find myself in a castle on one of the upper floors. I'm sitting in a room with a few other people. I look to the person beside me and it's spellbee. I somehow just know that it's him but I'm not sure how or why. This time, he was without his DG unlike a previous dream.

I turned to him and said "I'm pretty sure that this is real" and he sighed and said go through the list and I said ok. I thought to myself how I got to this place and when I couldn't find an answer, I did 2 different RCs. I asked spell where this place was and he replied it's a dream he was once in.

We make our way to one of the towers in the castle and I look around. I see many lakes and hills around. Far away from the castle was a mountain range. The tower shook and a giant object came from the sky and hit the mountains in the distance. The shock wave shook the castle and I fell over. The explosion was fast approaching and I had little time to prepare. I knew I had to escape the world but I wasn't sure how. I flew out away from the explosion with spell but I couldn't fly fast enough. I landed beside a lake and watched the death zone coming. I tried to despawn the world around me or to detach the small area I was in. After many failed attempts to do it myself, I turned to spell who was sitting down calmly and I said to him "I'll give you as much power as you need, just please stop this from getting any closer. Spell responded with. I'm not exactly worried, you need to do this yourself. I then did 3 different RCs to assure myself that this was a dream to give me enough motivation to do a large dream edit.

I flew up into the air and accelerated towards the earth until a magic circle appeared around me. As I hid the ground, time slowed to a halt and the magic circle grew to a small radius around me. Everything outside of the circle faded to black. As I despawned the whole world, spell looked up at me and smiled. At this point, it was around 5:00 am. I got some water and attempted a wild.

I had a bit of trouble but I ended up in my room. I walked through the mirror and ended up in the first dreams location at the base of the tree from my first LD.

My memory between this part and the later part of the LD is fragmented so I'll post the fragments. I somehow ended up at a sort of camp. I for some reason ate a giant coconut. (Had a ton of liquid and not a lot of meat)

I ended up lucid (dild) inside of a cabin which looked a lot like the inside of my house. At this point, I did the nose pinch check. I'll count this as my wild as it was part of the same dream. There, I met spell as he appeared from the last dream, gab (a black cat), sensei (a short black haired Asian with a mini blue dragon) and a character from attack on Titan. (Forgot her name but I'm too lazy to look her up) if anyone is wondering, it's the girl who was actually a Titan and turned out to be evil.

So the 5 of us meet in the bathroom and we just look at each other. The girl looked intimidatingly at me because I knew her secret, spell stepped back to watch, gab ran off and sensei held out his arm with the dragon on top of it aggressively at me because we were on opposite teams.

I looked at the two of them and it was obvious that I was going to die a few times. I explained to them that even if they tried to kill me, it wouldn't work because I would just come back after death. As I said that, the girl grabs me and rips me in half. I then respawn behind her and sensei and they both turn around. I smile and say "see". They smile and step towards me as if they are going to keep killing me. I sprint out the door screaming "SHIT SHIT SHIT" as spell sits in the corner laughing while reading a book. I'm running outside as I'm being chased by a dragon, an angry Asian and a super fast anime villain. After getting killed again and respawning I do a RC while running to get confidence, turn around and use telekinesis to push sensei, the dragon and the girl back and up into the air. As I do that, they fly over spell, he points his finger up without looking away from his book and a magic circle appears above his head. The three fly into it and they get launched into the sky at a very fast speed and hit what looked like the moon. (It was purple).

After a bit, I get teleported to a shallow pond where people are fishing. They pull in a fish and I stand there holding it. I cast a spell that I call Poseidon's umbrella which despawns all water within a 1m radius of myself. I walk calmly over to the shore and drop the fish which turned into a duck. I see a classroom just a few meters away and decide to enter it. I wanted to show off to the students by walking through the window without breaking it. I can phase through the window no problem going out but my legs have trouble going through the non glass part. I try going back but this shatters the window and I wake up. (7:11 am)

2 Dilds: 15
1 Wild: 10
Reality check: 1
Interact with a DC: 2
Eat or drink something: 5
Telekinesis: 5
Teleport: 10
Phase through solid object: 10
Advanced flying: 10
Advanced banishing: 10
Time control: 10
All 3 step tasks: 30
Meet a teammate: 7
Teammate show previous dream: 10
Fight an enemy: 10
Fight an enemy with teammates: 20
Personal goal: 15
(Create party of 5) (added spell and witch from apartment)

Total: 180

Futuristic military scene, videogame-like, healing gel (that you had to squirt all over you), I'm hurt so I fall behind. We rush to the medivac/extraction chopper/VTOL. Someone (a female squad member) comes back for me and helps me onto the chopper/VTOL (she yelled at me to hurry, I tell her to heal me so I can run properly). The craft flies away in third person.

Futuristic world, a lot of metal. Some kind of airport? Flying cars (a Fiat, no wheels) and others vehicles with AG drives. It was still a military installation, I think. I learn I can hover and possibly fly. Someone (still a woman) sees, and informs me non-vehicular flight is not allowed here. I see a sign, indicating human flight is indeed illegal here.

Vision resembling scene from "Another Earth"? Other Earth in the sky.

I'm in some kind of apartment, a rather crappy looking one. For some reason, I was getting shot at. It all felt very raw and "realistic" (the bullet impacts into the walls and doors). There were several armed persons, and I was armed myself. I opted to stay in the doorway for cover. I had an ally, a fellow I know from real life called Victor. He's... absolutely not suited for this role. He's peaceful, a scientist and gay. I'm pretty sure he abhors violence. Not this version! Victor, also armed, rushed in and pulled a Leeroy Jenkins on me. He actually killed several perps, with gun and/or bare hands (smashing them into walls!). But this spree didn't last, as he was violently shot dead. It looked awful. I continued the fight, until only a black kid aged 8-10 was left... he was armed too, and kept shooting at me. He left me no choice. I shot him in the head. It was a mess. I had a bit of a mental breakdown, asking the dead kid why he forced me to do this.

A group of people, including me, running. It was night? We run past a trailer/RV. In third person, I saw a man I recognized, perhaps a former colleague, walking through some curtains into his trailer. He engaged several persons in a gunfight. He fought valiantly, but was shot from the side and killed.

War scene. I was in a trench, preparing for an upcoming battle along with the other soldiers. The weapons were guns I recognized from the Vietnam era, an M14 and an AK with collapsible stock. The battle started when we charged the enemy. Now it gets weird. I may have died a few times, but every time the scene "reset" to just before the battle. Like in the movie "Edge of Tomorrow". I remember being crouched in the mud, seeing death and destruction all around me, and feeling... traumatized? In a later attempt, I think I tried to escape the scene. I'd actually memorized where most of the hostiles would be coming from, and what they would try if they spotted me. I entered a small warehouse-like room, and saw two hostiles. They were talking and hadn't spotted me yet. I tossed a grenade. That's the last I remember.