Recent DJ Posts

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I used the mantra "I am going to wake up after each dream and remember it". I woke up four times tonight and wrote down my dreams when I woke up each time.

"I know it's a dream but I feel obliged to help you!" I say to my brother in my room. He says something and I look behind my bed for important papers that are supposed to help me help my brother. I walk to the bathroom. I become more lucid and decide to do some experiments. I look on my fingers and they are almost normal, just a little bit small. I have wondered this week if I have my glasses on in my dreams. I got glasses two years ago and I'm not sure if my brain gives me glasses in my dreams so I check in the mirror. I don't have any glasses and my view gets a bit muddy. My brain understood that I didn't have my glasses and made my view bad. I block my view from the mirror with my hand and excpect the glasses to be on when I move my hand. When I move my hand I have glasses on me. But on the left side the glasses are inside my head. I adjust the glasses but my view gets even worse with the glasses on. I take of the glasses and my view turns back to normal.

I fly over the city I live in and William appears, I ask him if he is my dream guide. He replies. "I am not your dream guide. dream guides are only for those who have mastered dreaming." I keep on walking. This dream was a little bit lucid but not that much.

I am with my cousins who all eat cereals. I am the only one who don't eat. Some of them drink milk from baby bottles. Oskar asks me if I can sit next to him and I do. I put my chin to his baby chin and go back to my chair.

I wake up in the night and test out WILD. I suddenly have my arms in another position and I think I moved them without noticing. But I realize I fell asleep and moved my arms in the sleep. I try to remember if I dreamed and remembered this dream.

I'm sitting in the kitchen and mom is sitting next to me. There are some cookies on a plate on the table. Mom says that she got them free from her work. We eat them but I don't remembered the taste.

I'm walking fast to school and see Max B on the way. Our eyes meet when we are about three meters away but I quickly move on. He's talking with his friends and I don't want to interact with them. Max is waiting for the train but I walk to the bus. We have a math assignment and I tell the buss driver about it. He says that he knows exactly how it feels and I feel comforted. The bus is driving to my old school Rosenfeldt.

Possible recurring elements: My brother and chaos, my house, the city I live in, William, my cousins, school, math

Notes: I have had the theme of my brother in chaos very much lately. Today I spent time with him. I read a dream journal about someone who had their dad as her dream guide. I also watched a TV episode about a person who is dreaming and talking with his dream guide. That's why I dreamt about dream guides. I am with my cousins very much and it is only natural for me to dream about them. My mom have brought cookies from her job sometimes in the past but not this year at all. I thought I saw Max B yesterday when I got my food from school but it was someone else I didn't know. That's why I dreamt about him. I have had a hard math assignment about proving a math theorem about matrixes and eigenvectors that I worked with a lot yesterday with. I proved it today and I'm so relieved.

Of One of Four Dolls

Morning of May 28, 2020. Thursday.

Dream #: 19,519-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min 30 sec.



My dream’s initial setting is a unique variation of our current home (with much of my waking-life identity viably modeled), but the focus is mainly on a distortion of the second house from ours. (That house has been empty for a long time in waking life.) Zsuzsanna and I are going to go and look at the inside of the house. I remember it is smaller than ours, but in my dream, it is unrealistically inadequate at first. However, in the final scenario, the setting is a mostly empty lounge room that is bigger than our lounge room.

When I am in the house in its lounge room (before it transitions to its larger size), I consider how the back room, as the house only seems to have two, has walls covered with an unusual dark material. It is somewhat like pairs of insect wings evenly and vertically covering all of the walls, additionally reminiscent of fish scales. It seems to be a result of the room being unused for so long, giving the impression of unsuitability for a potential tenant.

I eventually notice four dolls standing in a row. Each is about a foot high. I focus my attention on one that represents a girl wearing roller skates. This precursor to the vestibular-cerebral handshake (the fundamental waking process to alert the sleeping mind to comprehend physical awareness to move and rise from bed) exponentially vivifies my dream, as is usually the case, even when witnessed rather than inherited.

Although the doll can stand on its own, it seems to be somewhat rickety at first. There is a button below its chest that will activate it. When I press and rub it, the doll continues to quiver (which results in a vestibular-somatosensory-cerebral handshake, vivifying my dream to the next stage) but soon rolls away, moving in an arc.

My auditory cortex becomes active as the final dynamic of the cortical handshake. The doll vividly speaks in a young female voice as it circles the room. “Ooh, I am moving. Ooh, what’s that? Ooh, it’s a box.” The doll bumps into an empty cardboard box that matches its height, though immediately turns, rolls a short distance, and bumps into another one opposite the first.

---

I awake with a slightly shaky feeling from being overheated.

Most dream content (excluding liminal and enigmatic integration as well as modulation by my conscious self identity) is always a unique rendering of the same waking processes, simple as that, that is, imaginary compensation for the vestibular-cerebral handshake (and as here, additional somatosensory cortex and auditory cortex activity). Ever since I was a child, it has remained mind-boggling that I have rarely seen anyone comprehend this no matter how clearly it has been explained and validated thousands of times since I first wrote extensively about dreams at age eight.

---

I will present here another rundown on this in my 5,100th Internet entry.

Dream content is fundamentally co-occurrent with the dream state. As explained many times before, “Similarly, he (Herbert Silberer) has shown that the conclusions of some dreams or some divisions in their content merely signify the dreamer’s own perception of his sleeping and waking…in persons who are gifted philosophically and accustomed to introspection it may become very evident.”

---

It should be self-evident that the shaky doll was a simulacrum of my emerging awareness of my physicality that needed addressing. It was upright and on roller skates (in contrast to my concurrent physical status), with similarity to my “Annabelle” dreaming experience from March 4, 2020. In that instance, the doll was bigger. Additionally, I decided to wear roller skates to enjoy the vestibular experience.

---

Now, some clarification to wrap it all up.

Why was the activation button below the doll’s chest? It was because of co-occurrence with my mild indigestion, where I typically press on or rub the same area for some relief.

Why was the doll on roller skates? This feature is the result of vestibular cortex activity that has not quite correlated with the emergence of my physical status during REM sleep (the same factor that causes sleep starts, in other words, the transition of atonia to myoclonus).

What is with the empty cardboard boxes? They are concurrent with the absence of full cortical integration, as virtual walls always are in the dream state, and ultimately with every other factor of liminal modulation. (For example, one person told me how he crashes through a wall to wake himself, though I often use a virtual door, and one of my more vivid early childhood dreams ended with a bull crashing through a wall. There is no need to pretend it “means” something else.)

What about the small room in the back with peculiar walls? I just explained what “walls” are, but the pairs of insect wings are more about a potential increase in neural energy. Their dormancy correlates with the absence of a cortical handshake and no anticipated myoclonus at that point.

Why was the doll female? I am more likely to associate a doll with feminine attributes, even though it is an analogy of how my body does not move while sleeping. However, I have not done the thousands of correlations needed to confirm that vestibular simulacrums are more often female than male.

---

Dreamt that I talked to an old friend, like if we were friends again. I was suprised that they messaged me on discord all of a sudden, but we had a good time on catching up on eachother...we dug the battle axe. And everything was alright.

Monday Night, 4/27/20

I was playing in the ocean along with one or two companions. "Come on!" I said, rushing headfirst into the water, swimming as fast as I could. I was half experiencing, half simulating the ocean waves. Upon realizing there were no large waves crashing over me, I began to expect them which then led to their creation and my experience of having large waves tumble me about. The part of me that was scared was drowned out (no pun intended) by my overall sense that I was perfectly safe. A female friend came along with me past the large waves. We were then rapidly pulled far out to sea where the waters became deep and calm. My mind offered up a couple practical concerns. Aren't you worried about dangerous sea creatures the longer you're out here? How far off is land on the other side of this ocean? Won't you get tired of swimming and drown? I decided it was best not to think of dangerous sea creatures. I should simply focus on not splashing around too much. As to getting tired, I found I was able to easily swim at a fast pace with barely any effort. Later we transitioned to walking and gliding along the surface of the water.

As night approached, the Narrator said that we would need a place to rest for the night. A dark blue door with orange trim around it appeared. I knew exactly what it was the moment I saw it. I opened it and we stepped through, into my room. Inside it was arranged a little differently than waking life, with bunk beds and a couple random piles of blankets, pillows, and sheets laying around, but it was still fully recognizable. I also found there was a second door which I could open to the rest of the house. I walked around in the upstairs hallway then went back into my room again. Strange. I thought, while my friend just seemed obsessed with playing in the blanket pile and rubbing her face against the pillows. I opened the blue door once again to see that, indeed, it still led right out to the middle of the ocean. "You can change where the door leads." The Narrator informed me. I closed the door and reopened it to try it out. It no longer led to the ocean, now it led to a random room. I closed it for good this time and prepared for sleep, though I don't think I actually did fall asleep.

Spoiler for Additional Notes:

This one was so close to becoming a lucid dream. I had the awareness of dream control abilities, noticed the oddness of what I was observing, and then there was the presence of the Narrator dropping hints. The Narrator is a disembodied voice that shows up surprisingly often in my dreams and I've referred to it as my subconscious in the past. I'm starting to notice a clear pattern where it shows up when I'm either lucid already or I'm very close to becoming lucid. The ocean is another pre-existing dream sign of mine that's been showing up a lot lately. My relationship to the waves in dreams has gone through an interesting progression over the course of 20+ years of having those recurring dreams, but that's a post for another time. Apparently I'm plunging headfirst into them now.

10 ОС. Конец света. (23 Октябрь 2011)
Суть неосознанного сна была в том, что связи тяготения в галактике стали распадаться и планеты, солнечные системы стали беспорядочно разлетаться кто куда. Мы со знакомыми были подавлены случившимся, так как мы находились по сюжету сна на планете колонии, где всё добывается искусственно, и в случае подобной катастрофы нам было не выжить. Выжить могла только Земля, где всё натуральное.
Несмотря на сюжет сна я шёл по бульвару, который существует в реальном мире как раз таки на Земле.Тут я начал вспоминать, как мы узнали эту новость, и понял что до этого я ничего не помню. Я говорю знакомым, чтобы они не расстраивались этой катастрофой, так как я не помню, как я здесь оказался, зато помню что я вчера дома лёг спать, так что скорее всего это сон и всё происходит в моей голове. Несмотря на понимание, что это сон я хотел продолжать действовать по сюжету. Лица знакомых, после того как я это сказал, помрачнели. Я пошёл впереди них, и попробовал проткнуть столб большим пальцем насквозь. Сам отвернулся от столба. На ощупь столб был не бетонным, а какая то плотная структура. Проткнуть так и не получилось, хотя я держал так долгое время. Тем временем я увидел, что вместо моих знакомых идут трое бомжеватого вида мужика. Я отошёл от столба и пошёл дальше. Впереди был дом, захотелось пройти сквозь него, но в последний момент подумал что не получится и обошёл его. Проснулся, заснул тут же заново. Осознанного сна больше не было, но сюжет был тот же. Я со знакомыми был в какой-то комнате и мы изобретали что то чтобы выжить. При этом надо было взять с собой важные вещи и мне было жалко расставаться со своими столовыми приборами: ложкой, вилкой, ножиком.

Выводы:
1.Осознанность была слабая. Тем не менее про план вспомнил.
2. Проткнуть столб не получилось.
3. Удалось вернуться в сон. Сюжет был тот же: "скоро конец света.


10 LD End of the light. (October 23, 2011)
The essence of an unconscious dream was that the bonds of gravity in the galaxy began to decay and the planets, the solar systems began to randomly fly apart. My friends and I were overwhelmed by what happened, since we were on the plot of sleep on the planet colony, where everything is artificially mined, and in the event of such a catastrophe we could not survive. Only the Earth could survive, where everything is natural.
Despite the plot of the dream, I walked along the boulevard that exists in the real world just on Earth. Then I began to recall how we learned this news, and realized that before that I did not remember anything.
I tell my friends that they should not be upset by this catastrophe, since I don’t remember how I ended up here, but I remember that I went to bed yesterday at home, so most likely it is a dream and everything happens in my head.
Despite the understanding that this was a dream, I wanted to continue acting on the plot. The faces of my friends, after I said this, became gloomy. I went ahead of them, and tried to pierce the post through with my thumb. Himself turned away from the post. To the touch the post was not concrete, but some kind of dense structure. It didn’t work through the poke, although I held it for a long time.
In the meantime, I saw that instead of my friends there were three homeless-looking peasants. I moved away from the post and moved on. Ahead was a house, I wanted to go through it, but at the last moment I thought that it would not work and went around it.
Woke up, fell asleep right there again. There was no longer a lucid dream, but the plot was the same. I was in a room with friends and we invented something to survive. At the same time, I had to take important things with me and I was sorry to part with my cutlery: a spoon, a fork, a knife.

Findings:
1. Awareness was weak. Nevertheless, I remembered the plan.
2. It did not work to pierce the post.
3. Managed to return to sleep. The plot was the same: "soon the end of the light.