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I keep having dreams I want to write down, but the length of them feels like it would wake me up completely. Woke up at 3:32 am today and had a really long lucid dream (forgotten it by now since I didn't write it down)
I do remember a short dream from 3 days ago.

Facial hair: I was standing in front of a mirror, my face visibly haggard and rough. "I need to shave." I think to myself as i touch the beard that has grown more than normal.
It's like a lions mane. I shape it to see what i would look like with a massive moustache (Dr. Eggman vibes) and I wake up.

It's only like an hour after I wake up that I realize that it was a dream.

Back in Stettler. I've been given 2 new prayers. One for the kindness of Jamie's heart. And 2: to pray that she finds me. My 15 minute prayer list got longer.

Jamie 1

A dream of her standing behind a counter looking zoned out. Not responding to me.

Uh oh. That hasn't happened in a while.

Jesus

A dream of Jesus hugging my brother.


My brother is like the most anti Christian guy I know. Also why my family knows nothing about my faith. My family is toxic enough without adding extra things they could traumatize me with.

Running

I was in a field with a woman. Some guy, David, ran past us at super speed. I ran up a hill after him. The woman following behind me stopped from being tired. I kept going up but the path got way too steep. I stopped too. I think the woman was Jamie.

Jamie again

Jamie was with me outside by a building. I had very low awareness. She was trying to convince me that some tall British woman with glasses should be my girlfriend. She suggested that I write a letter to her. I reluctantly did.

Gave the letter to the woman and ran away. Me and Jamie followed the woman to a bar. Jamie convinced me to approach her again. I did with some light banter but the woman was with two other men. She then implied with a joke that maybe she would have 3 dicks in her tonight instead of two...

Okay I pretended to be into that and promptly walked away. I went outside and Jamie was there. She got in front of me. I was behind her. We were in an embrace we seemed to be having sex as we were both moaning. But I couldn't feel anything. She abruptly stopped after a minute and left.


Sigh: please no more loyalty tests. Testing in a dream is inaccurate because in a lot of dreams I lack considerable awareness. Bible says he who finds a wife finds a good thing. It says nothing about dating multiple woman or finding a girlfriend . Jesus already called on me to think of Jamie as exactly how I would a wife. Even though it hasn't happened yet. So that's the position I'm in and I'm not backing down.

Jamie 3

I was in a fast food restaurant. Jamie was working the counter. I was looking at the menu when a woman from the group behind me went around me and went to where Jamie was standing and tried to order. Jamie scolded the woman and said to wait in line until I had ordered.

I was lucid though it wasn't fully a dream. I think I was actually halfway awake but sleepy enough to still hold onto a dream-like state. I was only a passive observer and could feel quite clearly my real body laying in bed. I was having that genre of dream with Marcus where we are flying through space talking showing me different anomalies and the like.

I became lucid and I asked him, mostly just for fun, what the solution to the N-body problem was without iterating through it.

He showed some complicated mathematical equations and he explained that it requires "multidimensional recursive mathematics". The basic idea was you use an equation that takes the average of the mass and position of all bodies except one and treat that as a common barycenter, and then calculate the gravitational interaction for those two bodies using the standard 2-body formula. But then you must put the equation inside of itself and do that for all subsequent bodies effectively creating an infinite recursion loop since you need to know the equation's solution before you have solved it in order to solve it correctly. He explains that to the 'Aliens from Arrival' it's a high school math problem because they can perceive time non-linearly and the equation/branch of mathematics to solve it hasn't been discovered by humanity because you need a certain type of advanced quantum computer to do it.

He brings me to a place where there are three planets, a red mars like one, a gray mercury like one and a white icy one all gravitationally interacting with each other. He connects the red and gray one with a HUD line showing their barycenter and shows the solution and a bunch of complicated equations for the white icy planet. Interestingly the HUD is purple and it looks like my dream HUD/overlays not his.

I realized I had asked the question in jest but predictably, Marcus had given me a serious answer, and I tried to remember as much as I could about his explanation because it was interesting, even though in all honestly its probably not useful.

The dream carried on for awhile after that though it turned more into waking and actively guided thoughts and sleepy daydreaming after that.

This dream started off as something more interesting. I can't recall precisely what no matter how many times I use my recall tricks, I only recall the final stretch before waking.

I was in a school gymnasium. It wasn't my school, it seemed like a completely OTD environment. The gymnasium has an irregularly shaped room connecting it onto the corridor network of the school building, sort of a locker room with benches and so fourth. A huge mass of people are in it but with only one door on either side of the room there is a constant traffic jam and shuffling.

This girl comes in from the gym. She's got dark hair and approaches me making sexual gestures. While I'm trying to do whatever it is I'm doing she comes up in front of me and starts moaning and making sexual motions. I know she's teasing me in front of her friends. She's attempting to make fun of 'me' (whatever persona I've assumed in this dream) for their inability to get laid. This deeply irritates me but I resolve not to make a scene or give them any kind of reaction, even as several of her friends start taking pictures on mobile phones. There's a deeper, almost lucidity-inducing thought here. I'm tired of humiliating non-lucid dreams. I'm tired of the anxiety and the frustration and the abuse.

I finished doing whatever I was doing and get up. Her friends try to position themselves block me so they can continue teasing me but I weave around them and get out into the gymnasium. The room is mostly empty though there are a few dream characters around the periphery. There are a few men in military uniforms sitting at a table at the far side of the gymnasium, some kind of recruitment of fitness tryouts for some branch of the armed forces. I have a brief conversation with one of them who is actually some friend of mine and fill out a form. It's not an enlistment form, I know that.

I then end up lining up along the wall with some other martial artists, and I notice that I am wearing a martial arts uniform. A strange blend of people from both my new and old taekwondo studios. This scene or situation has been in several dreams over the past year or so. Mostly dream fragments and non-lucid dreams that have been so faded I don't even find them worth noting. But I'm standing with my back against the wall amongst a group of other martial arts practitioners in uniform getting ready for some kind of demonstration.

I look up and notice the gymnasium ceiling is vastly higher and larger than normal. It seems to be a sort of terraced structure, like the negative of a ziggarut with gymnasium floors many stories up stepped around this central "pit" where we are resembling a normal gymnasium. As I start to wake up I mentally question how comically unsafe this setup must be as anywhere but the bottom level there is an edge with no railing that could send you plummeting 10+ meters onto a hard wood floor or bleacher.

The walls all seem to have those stretched fabric/canvas wall decorations used to add a splash of color to painted cinderblock walls. (I don't know if those things are still a thing but they were everywhere when I was a kid even if nobody ever noticed or talked about them.) They were square in shape, a deep red color and four of them were arranged together rotated 45 degrees.

Sleep: Data not recorded.
Detail: 141 words.

Down the Stairs:
I'm in a hallway that reminds me of my elementary school, approaching a door on my left.
When I go in, it looks more similar to a classroom from highschool or college.
Whiteboard at the front, desks in rows across from it.
I'm meeting a group for Dungeons and Dragons club.
...
I'm in an apartment, similar to where I used to play Dungeons and Dragons in waking life.
X was there playing, most likely the others from my current DnD group were too.
...
I'm going down some stairs in a dungeon. I'm looking at a map that shows the layout.
There are stairs going down with landings at each level. There is a half-circle shaped divot in the wall at each stop, maybe 6 feet wide in diameter, with a cut into the stone below forming a basin.

Slept 10:56PM-6:30AM (7h48m)
Detail: 0 words.

No recall. I was pretty exhausted after implementing some changes to my cardio. Probably not the sole reason, but likely a contributing factor.

I haven't been posting non-lucids here in years. But I think I'm gonna do it as a little exercise to myself before the next competition, because I recently had two seperate incidents where I lost a lot of dream journal progress. Sometimes I honestly feel a bit conflicted about how much of my dream-life is public on this site but as long as the dreams are relatively benign like this one, I don't see the harm.

I was at a political rally though it seemed disorganized as people of opposing interests were there. Someone threw a snowball at me and then things started to escalate. I actually for a breif time got mistaken for an ally to the opposing side and was surrounded and sort of dragged by a group of people around the grounds for a bit.

Eventually I managed to slip away, and I just started run, wanting nothing to do with either party. The rally was being held on the snow-covered lawn of this large three story brick building that ran a long ways in both directions.

I kept running for awhile, entering into a city. The city was supposedly London but the architecture was uniformly brick buildings in a steep staggered ziggurat sort of design with few variations. The buildings had complex almost tribal patterns defined into their facades by various colors of bricks (terracotta, yellow, white, dark, and even green and a dull steel blue). The streets were lit by a sort of gas lanterns hanging from complex posts that resemble cranes/flaminigos standing on one leg and many of the cars seemed downright futuristic with small sort of pod-like designs.

I stop running and try to jump over a bench or news stand or something surprised at how easy this is. I jump close to two meters and seem to float down more gradually than I should. A dream figure is impressed by this.

I start to slide into lucidity. I notice that I am dressed in a gray cutoff and high waisted pants. I would never dress that feminine on the waking body. The waking body doesn't look like this. I jump around a few more times and then attempt to "hold it" and hover in the air by splaying my arms out, not too dissimilar from some of my flying postures. I don't fly by I manage a sort of sputtering hover by controlling my breathing and focus and gradually float back down.

Not much dreams. Back home for a couple of days.


Wtf

I was in a large living room. Kittens were around. That skunk was there. It went up to me and wanted to be pet. I pet it.

The dream transitioned to a dinner table. A young girl who was half human and half pony was there. I was telling her how much she had grown in the past few days. She was laughing but unsure what to say. Asuka and Jamie were there I think exchanging confused glances at one another in response to what she said.

Next night I was in bed. Me and the Jamie voice were having discussions about the subject of the last entry. We both seem to have temptations that are difficult to control. And we both know that when we physically come together that we can't indulge with other people that way. But yet, the desires might plague us.

I went into prayer and asked Jesus what should we do then? How do we handle these desires which never seem to go away?

Jesus answered in a dream in a strange way.

[B]Jesus interview[/B]

I saw Jesus in a low income apartment. A television crew was interviewing him. He wore scraggly clothes, and his hair was slightly unkempt. He also wore a black baseball hat. His demeanor was like a ,"Dude. Bro." guy. He was smiling and saying that sometimes he walks around on this earth as a physical man. He talks to a lot of people and some people don't know who he is. Then he took a swing from a beer.

I woke up in shock. I pondered the question I asked him and considered if the dream was a response. The key seemed to be the beer he was drinking. It's said Jesus drank wine in the Bible. He said drunkenness was a sin in the Bible but never said having a singular drink now and then. So, these desires were to be handled in moderation? Unsure I asked in a prayer about the dream and if the beer he was drinking was alcoholic. I got an instant response that it was non alcoholic. So then I figured he was saying to relieve that pressure with a substitute that isn't the actual act.

Interesting.

Cave

Just a dream of me and Jamie, maybe some other people sitting in a dark cave. Jamie was sitting arms around her knees.

Sleep: 10:45PM-6:30AM (7h45m)
Detail: 151 words.

Moonwalking:
I'm at an office that resembles my actual workplace, though it seems more like an inspiration than a carbon copy.
There is a bin with some black socks in it, and I'm pulling a pair out and putting them on.
Now I am moonwalking for a small crowd of coworkers. JW from high school marching band and my friend PG are among the crowd.
They seem to enjoy the show.
...
I'm looking around for a place to put my laptop down and work.
I find a cube just over by where the bin was, and setup.
My boss, SS, comes by and I realize I'm wearing my orange Game Grumps pajama pants.
I tell him good morning and hope he doesn't notice the pants.
For some reason, I decide that I should investigate whether there is a better place to setup, so I start to wander.
I find a cafeteria-like area.

30th

Bridge Glitch
Keep crossing the same bridge no matter which ways are taken. "Time to make our own roads," I say while scanning ditches for escape.

Orality
They greet by giving oral sex as if merely shaking hands. Not that desperate to converse, I sit. I think. I write.

Intercedings
Bewitched by northlight ribbons, brave the snow and starlit unknown. Camera will not see. Phone will not wake. Seasons shift from drifts to mud to drifts again. People need, need, need. Can not even love the lights. Always interceding.

HI
Phantom serpents of light spill and twist together into a slow spinning galactic dance.

29th

Hurdling
We train. We would race forever with fluid ease if not for the angst and angles they keep throwing at our feet.

Riddled
A sea of solemn hearts and shining eyes. Squeeze into the stadium. Stand. Salute. Give goodly tribute to they who paved our way. Champions stand, weapons raised to pierce the sun. Instead, they riddle the gathered mourners. Metal streams. Families scream. We scatter into a mansion to somewhat safety.

Rigid Waterpark
Cruise through a sun-swept stretch of day. We are carefree with glints of caution. Wait to enter the water world. Our driver offers a false mouth to wear while we are scanned. It fools facial recognition. But inside are flesh rivers of straight lines and rigid rules.

Getting back into the flow of dream journalling, I'm reminded just how much friction there is before you actually decide to write the dream. I have the memory of recalling more, but this is all I managed to get down this morning.

I was in school, drawing, when my old principal walked in the room. He danced around it for a second, but eventually told me that I was allowed to doodle since I had a good record. My classmates were not a fan of this development, but they had little say in the matter.

Later on, in a church-like room, I walked up to a vacant piano and started playing jazz (a genre I don't play iwl). A family-friend of mine played drums in the background to accompany me. My mind now clued me into the fact that I never learned how to play this, and I was dimly aware of the unlikelihood of me hitting harmonic chords every time. I tried to move my LH to play some random keys too, but no signs of discordant music. The music was pleasant. After I finished, the same principal came up to congratulate me and ushered me back to a seat.

Later on, I was in this convenience store dining hall esque area. I knew somehow that this was a secret room of the school. The dining hall has a fridge that I walk up to. Inside the fridge is a stainless steel artifice, circular in shape, made from several components. I knew it to be a heater, and tried to jerry-rig it for some reason, but the moment I tried it, brilliant flashes of yellow electricity shot through the room.

And that's all I wrote.