non-lucid

I'm in a castle, apparently I'm the owner, even if it seems I don't know every inch of it.
I'm wandering up some stairs, looking for someone.
Then I see a door and I suddenly remember that I have to take out the dogs.
So I look for the keys in my pockets and I can't believe how much keys there are in there.
I open the door and there is a labrador, waiting for me just behind the door. I ask him if he is ready to go out and he gets up and caresses my leg with his head.
We go in a open space (always in this castle). I struggle to find the right way, but the dog helps me.
The dog plays a while, then he makes me know that he is ready to go back in his room.
Then we go back for the same road and the happy dog comes back in his home.
I open another door. Another dog waiting for me. I ask if he wants to go out and he says that he doesn't feel like (HE TALKS TO ME). So I close the door and go ahead opening new doors, and asking all the dogs in the different rooms if they are ready.
There are a lot of dogs. Big ones, little ones, all the breeds, all the colors.
It seems all the dogs own a room and live there alone. I'm a guardian and they can go out only with me, but they are not in a prison.
Some of them are waiting for me and get crazily happy when I come, other dogs are tired and unwillingly follow me, others say 'no' or hide behind sofas to make me understand that they don't want to go out.
Every time I go through the same road and every time I feel safer.
After a lot of time doing the same thing, it's time to eat and I go in the kitchen to prepare the food for MY dog (my real dog) and I think there no food for all the dogs, so I prepare littler rations.
Then I write in a note attached to the refrigerator that I have to buy more meat.
I look at my hand as I'm writing and there is something I'm forgetting to write. Or it's about my hand. WAKING UP!

ARRIGHT I'm awake wow I'm tired of being sick ugh why now my throat hurts this is lame I can't go back man I CAN'T GO BACK TO BEING SICK LIKE I WAS

...

man exercising was such a dumb idea. making myself write out my dream even though I don't feel like it to build character.

Dream 1 - Ben's Home, Betas
I like that title because it sounds like I'm either lazily listing the things that happened in the dream, or I'm telling some fish that Ben's home.

SO LET'S SEE first thing that happened was Ben arrived back from college on a bus. It was summer-ish and when he got off the bus we headed across a grassy field together where some older peeps were throwing a football around or something. They seemed to be people I'd used to look up to as the older people back in youth group, now post-college but apparently not too different from how they used to be or from how I would tend to view them. They said somethin' about Ben being back, and I tried to respond in a confident but sort of comedic voice which in the end just sounded strange and high to me. I was tryin' to be confident with what I said too, but I think it fell sort of flat like it tends to do.

Anyway I didn't dwell on that too long, and Ben and I wandered into this odd little ... secluded area on the other side of the field, directly across from where the bus had dropped him off. There was a pond with some piled stones serving as a boundary, and something was blocking out the sun and making it feel a little closed-in and quiet, but I'm not totally sure it was trees. Could've been stone walls.

Now HERE it was winter and the pond was partially frozen-over. It may have been flooded as well, because there were frozen beta fish chilling on the grass, three of 'em, all perhaps ten times the size of a normal beta fish. I reached for one, but it swam back to the pond somehow. The other two appeared more incapacitated, but after reaching under one to pick it up and consequently feeling its incredibly delicate jaw bone, I figured it would be best to not mess with 'em.

Dream 2 - Band's Back
wow just typing that made me feel some anxiety OH WELL LET'S DO THIS

First of all I was apparently on a journey to who knows where. As a result, I discovered a particularly talented singer, a girl from some school who I took back home with me. She then became part of our reformed band, now directed by mom and, as usual, featuring my sister and brother (still home from college).

At first I think I was just singing harmonies or playing guitar or somethin', but then Mom decided that I should be the one to sing the chorus. My first reaction was to protest while trying out my voice and realizing how pitchy I was. Then I actually gave it a fair shot, but the lyrics which the girl had sung so easily were considerably more difficult for me to do. For some reason there were always too many syllables in whatever line I was trying to sing, and with each line I grew more and more frustrated. Ben, meanwhile, seemed to be derisive of my struggles, like maybe I was just making it hard on myself by not really trying to figure out how it worked, and Jess didn't seem to care either way.

So it culminated with me storming off. Mom went with me and I ended up shouting at her something like, literally, "I've already tried this s**t before!". It was bleeped out and everything. Also some part of my mind was noticing that I was shouting louder than I'd ever shouted in my life, like there wasn't enough of my voice to get across just how much I hated all of this.

Long story short, though, I ended up wandering back to try again. And then Ben was Sam from Supernatural, which wasn't too different apparently. And then he got hit by a car or something. We weren't too concerned, but we did monitor him afterwards to see whether anything was different. He started painting decals on the walls, which was normal, but we paid close attention to the design choices. They all turned out car-related somehow which we took as a sign of something. And then I think I woke up.

April 19, 2014 Dream #2: A dilapidated car pulls aggressively into our semi-circular driveway at our current home in ********. My 26 year old son Scott is casually lying down on his right side in the driveway, and the car containing at least one angry man (the driver) goes around and behind him, stopping abruptly. I grab at Scott's shirt dragging him upwards and order him to get up. I insist he stand up and take a defensive posture. The driver’s window is open and I very calmly and diplomatically approach and address him. I observe a second man is present in the rear seat immediately behind the driver on the same side of the car as I am standing. He is Caucasian and needs a shave, but doesn’t appear to be particularly animated or angry, nor does he make any move towards getting out of the car.

The driver does not get out either. He goes from being Afro-American initially, to being Caucasian when I look back to him after scrutinizing the passenger in the rear seat. The driver starts asking me questions about “Scott’s sister" (A**** my daughter). He wants to know if she is taking Ambien. I start to tell them there must be some kind of mistake in identity because my daughter is living in South Korea (as she is in reality) and they couldn't possibly know of her or be the subject of their anger, but Scott does not want me to tell them any details about her. I wake.

April 19, 2014 Dream #1: I am at my ancestral home in *******, New York. I am quite young, perhaps ten years of age, as is my younger sister Joanne, who is the only other dream character present. We are each mulling about at the top of the three step concrete stoop that leads to our home. I decide to peel off an improbably long piece of black electrical tape from a roll I am holding. I throw it towards the M****r’s yellow and white split level home all the way across the street, where somehow it adheres diagonally across their entire home at an angle from 11:00 to 5:00. The roll of tape is now virtually empty, but the cardboard inner roll in my right hand now appears to be unusually wide - about three inches. It has about 3/4 of a turn of tape left, and I throw that towards the house also. It ends up where the M****r's driveway meets the house.

Suddenly I am concerned that I will get in trouble for what I’ve done. I usher my sister into the house and shut off the lights so no one can see us. When the lights are off on our side of the street the interior lights of the M****r’s home are readily apparent. Through the glass covered windows and doors I can see the interior of much of their home, their lamps, furnishings and rugs. No one from their family is silhouetted against the windows or doors inside looking out, and I conclude no one saw that it was me that threw the tape and near-empty roll onto their property. I wake.

Last night, I set an alarm at 3.30 am to attempt a DEILD. The alarm is very gentle and I made it turn itself off after a minute. It woke me up as expected, but my first reflex was to switch it off. I quickly remembered my goal and prevented myself from moving too much. I lied on my back and waited for the alarm to shut up.

When it did, I was feeling really groggy and thought it would be easy to get into a dream. Suddenly I was worried that maybe it was too early and I would still enter a deep sleep state, therefore making the whole thing unworthy. Despite my efforts to stay awake, I soon lost consciousness and woke up at 8 am with only a small fragment of a dream in mind. And as far as I can tell, I wasn't lucid in it. Dammit.

Needless to say, any advice is most welcome

2 nights in a row with recall, what's happening!

Anyway my first dream is in my classroom, the lesson is history.
But our classroom was so laid back, if you've seen the wolf of Wall Street, just think how relaxed and laid back that workplace was, well this was like it, but without the strippers and drugs of course.

I was with my friends at my table, we also had a teacher on it, probably an assistant teacher, but he was really cool wouldent tell anyone off or anything. He came over and said something to me and I jokingly said "That's what she said..." And we both laughed.

But our real teacher wasn't laid back at all, she gave my friend Charlie NINE warnings, I had 2 and Charlie had NINE. One of the times I took Charlie's chair and he got the blame for it. So that's fragment one.

Fragment 2 was near to when I woke up. So it's after school, and normally every one goes to the nearby shops. That was the same in my dream. I see most people in my year outside the shops. I overhear something about a prank call, then the hurdle of my year starts running across the road, me and 2 friends decide to follow them, we try to work our way through the cars. I nearly got run over and my friend advised to wait and not to rush.

We finally make it across the road and were running over to the group of people, when we have arrived the person has already done the prank call, and everyone's heading back to the shops. I see them all going into someone's house so I follow them, One of them tries to lock me out jokingly but I make my way through, and the rest of the dream is me waiting inside for it to be half past so I can get the bus to home.

Night of 4/18/14
In bed from 11:09 to 7:40

Dream 1

Late to meeting because I was in the pisser.
Wouldn't stop pissing
Unusual flow
Towards the end it was a wide and heavy mist, it also came out as a brown paste

In meeting. My writing was not what they wanted. It had no cohesion and no ending

I said it didn't need to be; I thought I was supposed to write about my dreams. I was really angry

Tldr: nutty piss and I turned in a dream journal as my assignment.

Dream 2 (fragment)

Outside was flooded, I was at the back deck of my house with my family fishing. The water level was just below the deck. I caught a few fish.

someone was telling me a story or something, and then it turned totally and unexpected sexual. It was nice too. And then they explained to me that it was like a joke of sorts, or satire, but that the sudden change was trying to make a point about something from the past that had been said about them

I'm in the place and suddenly feel like I'm about to be caught/trapped, so I started busting through windows as the quickest way out. I go through several, and then, I see a change sweep through the room, and that tells me that I've been surrounded by another dimension, and that busting through the windows won't do me any good -- I'm trapped. The person who comes out to see me, who trapped me it seems, is Miley Cyrus. She seems to be there to actually tell me something about my friends, as a help/warning/alarm.

I have scenes where Jason is a character. He's never manifest present, but I feel like he's all around, and that we are together. I was very nice.

I'm talking to this group of people, I guess we're all like dead, and I'm saying that the nice thing about emotional pains is that you have a certain element of control. I guess I'm smiling as I say this, and this female is like, why are you smiling, that's some sick twisted shit, like back in the day. I say I guess I'm smiling over the control, the good part, not that one has a problem that needs controlling. She tells me about a problem she has, and my face turns somber -- I point out that I'm not smiling over that.

This guy is trying to break into some place. He's about to come up this pipe that is jammed open. I want to make the pipe go back down, but it's lodged on some stairs, so it won't go down. Apparently earlier he had done something tricky, and like, gone down the pipe but not all the way, so that when the pipe was raised, it was raised more than it should be since he didn't descend the whole way -- something like that -- which ended up resulting in the jam. He comes up through the pipe and I'm the only one there. He goes over to this pool of water and just absorbs right into it. I think I'm going to follow him, and the water looks ominous, but I do go in and absorb into the water too.

There are these people being "attended to" by "doctors", though a lot of this seems fairly coerced. The docs are putting this thing down the patients throats, and then it kinda spins and they pull it out, and as it comes out it's not kinda bristly and spirally, like a vacuum brush. It spins very very quickly on the exit, like a drill. I start to get the feeling that this is not good, and I sense that others sense the same thing, and that there is about to be a battle of wills as the patients begin to refuse "treatment"

MAN. It's been a while, right?

I'm still kinda sick and it bums me out 'cause I'm tired of feeling constantly run-down, but on the bright side it's given me the motivation I need to sleep more than usual and hopefully work off that sleep debt.

I think what's gotten me to write this entry right now is ... simply the unusual nature of the dream and how vivid it was. And I think I can remember quite a few details, though maybe not exactly. WORTH A SHOT.

Dream 1 - Amalgam
I think one thing I remember is observing Lelouch from Code Geass. His art style was anime, though I think his surroundings were still normal. I'm not sure exactly what he was doing, but he seemed to be manipulating someone in order to advance his plans. His emotions on that matter seemed to range from complete control and a lack of remorse while he was manipulating them, to a sort of rueful rumination on what he'd done afterwards. Mostly he seemed to feel it was entirely necessary no matter how unsavory it was. And I'm pretty sure he was manipulating Euphemia. Sociopath Lelouch.

Next bit I remember is bein' in a room with Hannibal from the current TV Show, and a kid who's an online friend of mine. Super nice kid. I think they were trying to help me understand that I'd injured both my arms very badly from playing legions, but I also remember a little before this. Mostly that the room had been the setting for some time, and it was quite dark and a bit messy and seemed deserted. And there was something about National Geographic.

Anyway Hannibal managed to point out to me that my arms were fricking banged up, and I finally got my shirt off to take a look. The first thing I noticed was some kinda weird, green dead skin on my chest, which I peeled off. I sort of expected that my arms would have the same problem. What I saw instead was that my arms were frickin' covered in bruises and irritated redness. The bruises were an odd sort of star-shape, dark-purple in color but looking sort of like very large asterisks. * And the next thing I noticed was the pain.

So I was just sort of staring down at my arms, watching my hands tremble and turning my arms over for a better look, while Hannibal explained that the damage was from my tendency to fly up to people in Legions and midair them point-blank. Apparently this sort of kamikaze approach to battle had been dealing damage to my arms with every rocket blast for a while now, unbeknownst to me. U tryna tell me somethin brain? Ur gonna have to speak up.

At this point my view on the matter went from "haha what injured I am not injured" to "HOLY FRICK I AM SO INJURED I hope you guys feel bad about this" or y'know "pity me!" or whatever. Also my arms fricking hurt. And I was looking to them to help me out, but Hannibal was doing his typical "you know what let's take this fixable thing and allow it to get worse for giggles" routine. This did not go over well with my internet friend, who was after all right there in the room, and who started demanding that Hannibal give me medical attention right then. Hannibal did not concede, of course, and I occupied myself with gingerly holding my arms and/or examining them and/or somehow managing to get a turtleneck sleeve onto my left arm, which got in the way of me seeing how bad it was. I woke up soon after that, still with the belief that my arms were totally damaged, and was rather relieved to find that moving didn't hurt.

But see what I like about dreams is that chance to be in the position of freaking out over very detailed, injured arms, complete with pain and trembling, but without the long-term life consequences, such as a month in the hospital. Is that weird? That's probably weird.

Dream 2 - SnailFrog
Anyway then another thing that happened was that I was outside with somebody like maybe my dad or somethin', and we found this snail thing. It was actually a very hungry small frog but it looked like a snail. Dad and I took it outside to some swampy place and set it down, and I found a grasshopper and considered lifting it by one delicate antenna (detail!) but got the feeling that the grasshopper (which was brightly colored and odd-looking) would manage to flick itself onto my hand and bite me or something. So I left that one alone and meanwhile the snail had turned into a small adorable red-ish frog with a translucent, slimy underbelly reminiscent of a snail, and he'd spied a small tan, safe-looking grasshopper. And then he went for it at incredible speeds, twisting around to try to keep up with its hopping and rolling all over the underbrush, and managed to eat it. And then he went for another one and caught it as well, after another incredible chase, though this time he ended up with a mouthful of large twigs that seemed to contradict his mouth size.

*RAMBLES ABOUT FROGS FOR A WHILE LIKE AN OLD PERSON*

So I'm not quite sure what else happened. I feel like tons of things occurred but LIKE WHAT? IDK.

- - - - - - -

Hm I can kinda remember what my dreams lately have been like. I think the night before this one I dreamed about playing legions, interspersed with crime scenes that were my doing. This is 'cause my main occupation lately has been playing Legions and watching Hannibal. And maybe thinking about sociopaths. None of those things feel like excellent uses of my time and now it's showing up in my dreams which shows that they're all I've been focusing on and arggghhhhh.

I was wondering when I'd start writing down dreams again. They seem like such a perfect way to track my mental state and get a handle on how my life's going. I think being sick borked it up after almost a solid month of recording, so hopefully this time my streak will be even longer. Feels good to be writing about 'em again~ I think this is one of my best hobbies :33

Recalling from a week ago: Standing in a rectangular shaped hotel room, two floor to ceiling windows showed the view of the skyline and the ocean behind it. We were in Melbourne because I recall Docklands (suburb) was just to my right where one of my friends live. I saw the giant waves topple over the skyscraper buildings but receding before it hit the tower we were in, however, everyone in the tower was panicking/recieving treatment/on phone to loved ones etc. I was with my friend inside the hotel room, we were talking but I do not recall what about.

We stepped out of our hotel room, where there was a rather large lobby area where people were receiving treatment, getting bandaged up etc.

This is the second time this dream has happened, I only recall the giant waves over the building twice though.

Recalling from a week ago: Sitting on the veranda of a house, I saw this massive red meteor heading for the Earth and crashing off in the far distance.

I remember getting ready to go to the airport prior to the meteor, I was questioned about if I was still going to the Airport (Melbourne?) and I said yes, vaguely recall driving a car towards the meteor/airport.

I'm in my primary school. There is a lot of wind and my teacher does not want us to go out in the break.
My friends and I try to convince her, but nothing, so we decide to play a weird game, sitting in the ground.
We have to remove the tiles from the paving and eat them without hiccupping (because it is sure you start to hiccup when you eat rocks! hahaha).
Someone starts to feel sick, as you have to swallow the tiles without chew them.
And every time someone starts to hiccup, we have to take him/her and throw them out the window.
At the end we remain just two. And we decide that the winner will be decided with a shot put.
The object to put is obviously a tile.
I know my friend is going to win, as he is taller and stronger than me.
So my teacher gives us some tiles, then holds a gun for the start, but she looks at me and shoot me down.

i am in my old living house with my dad and a woman i know. i am happy i am back with my family again (false memory). i walk to my dad and talk to him (idk what it was about). suddenly it hit me, i was dreaming.
me: I AM DREAMING, I AM DREAMING. it changes into a new dream scene.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the house is a dream sign.

NON LUCID
*There a Tibetan Buddhist teacher who I can't remember at the moment talking about the important of daily purification of negative karma.

*I was in Japan with my brother Gavin. I said I can't I get to go explore this amazing city. I thought about all the awesome I would be able to do. I told my brother dude let me take a picture of me in Japan post it in Facebook. I wanted to show everyone who I fulfilled my dreams. Then we ended up in this apartment in Japan that we seemed to be sharing with other Japanese people. The apartment felt dirty and chaotic.

Night of 4/17/14

Slicing up imperial guards with my katana

I was fishing, almost caught a dog who tried to eat my lure
dead/cooked fish on the ground, I had to hop around barefoot

I was going through a breakup and my child was being taken away from me. I was the wife?

Ice in the streets, went skating