non-lucid

There are more dreams which were had this day but here are those that are shared here:

Prior to dreaming I was thinking of turning into Rainbow Dash.

I was seeing stuff in a river and was fishing for something, Something I was fishing for went by and then I went down the river where it went and swam back. Meanwhile I saw lava as if it was in Minecraft by the water, Making its hissing noise not turning into Obsidian but into something else.

I came back to the fishing area and there was green stuff on the river on top of the water and so the fishing area was not as big. Then (If looking at the river) I went to the right and looked up, Saw a room above me and used a grappling hook like in Zelda: OoT to get up there.

I went into a room (Minus walls and ceiling) and there were two gates on each side, That were doorways with iron bars that would come down to close them. They both closed with me inside and things or creatures came either inside through these closed doors or they came up to the doors and the room reset.

Bing! I was now Twilight Sparkle.

In the same room with the gates again (And there were computers in it) Princess Luna and Princess Celestia came up, One at each gate; Princess Luna came from the gate I came from which is now on my left and Princess Celestia from my right. Princess Luna said something like "Follow me and I'll give you fame/money/etc" and I (As if I were playing Team Fortress 2 on PC) hit a few buttons on the keyboard to say "No." I then faced Princess Celestia and she said "Find a way to escape the universe." And I said "Yes." The feeling is enlightening.

How does one escape the universe?

...

Later on I also dreamed of Kurt Cobain in a Sonic The Hedgehog costume in a building, Then he died and his body fell on its face and someone picked it up and tried to make it seem as if he wasn't dead but it just fell over again.

It's been a while since I last put a Dream Journal entry in, I've been out and about with friends playing music! I've been putting a lot of my focus on tantra also, since I had some sort of euphoric sensation overcome my entire body a couple of nights ago and I was wondering what on earth it was, it led me to tantra!

11th April -

Dream 1
Walking through a motorway type stone tunnel with a bunch of people, it turned into a busy stone hall but much tighter packed. I'm walking in the same direction as a lot of people, others are busily walking in our direction too. There was this guy who was walking next to me at the same time as this group of charity collectors pass me going the other way. The main collector asks me if I want to donate as he passes but I immediately tell him I have nothing to give, and he shoves me (I'm always charitable when I've got it, so this kind of behaviour annoys me). He keeps going, but the other guy who I mentioned was next to me says something offensive as a passive response to my having no money as to imply I'm tight, and I told him to fuck off or something long those lines. Further down the hall I'm walking into an open market type place, there are boxes of random toys and things on the floor and I have to step over them as I look around. Suddenly I turn around and the guy I told to fuck off before has the most insane keyboard in his hands, it's strapped on to him and he's holding it like a guitar, it was like a meter long black beast of an instrument, and he was playing some notes. He shouts to me that he's having it and there''s nothing I can do about it. Then the dream fades.

I was sleeping on a couch and woke up about 6 hours into my sleep and recalled that last dream. The light was coming through the living room window and there were buses loudly stopping and starting outside, it was quite noisy. I was quite uncomfortable too, the couch wasn't big enough to allow lying down fully stretched, so I was in the fetal position. It took me a while to get back asleep, my eyes were closed though, I was determined to get back to sleep even though I didn't feel too sleepy, and after 20 minutes I started to see some imagery appearing before me in the darkness, then I suddenly and very unexpectedly transitioned straight into a lucid dream, I was in a blurry room and it there was purple electricity flowing over half the stuff in the room. I didn't feel like I woke up in a dream and had to regain consciousness, I felt like I had literally just been lying on the couch trying to sleep and then all of a sudden I was in this room. I unfortunately came straight out of this dream anyway, and I was on the couch again.

So I tried again, I rested patiently for about 20 minutes, this time it seemed a lot longer to happen and I was getting a little disappointed until the imagery started appearing, then I knew it was game on. By imagery I'm talking about colourful neon type patterns swirling, which sometimes briefly transform into vivid objects. I've been practising dream schemas, thinking about what the patterns I'm seeing look most like, and therefore convincing my brain that that is what I'm seeing.

Anyway I went back into a new room, it was the same again - a transition with no loss of consciousness. This time I was sat on a bed and knew instantly I was dreaming, and I was calm. I looked around the room and it was more vivid than any lucidity I've had so far. There was a washing line sort of thing hung across the room with a football attached to it, and as soon as I looked at it I calmly thought about how I could change it into something. I decided to change it to a star, but looking at it and thinking I wanted it to change to a star did nothing. I looked away and repeated the thought, I wanted the ball to become a star, and when I looked back it was still a football. Then I woke up again.

With the two lucids I was trying to "open" my eyes as the imagery started coming to me. By open them I was not actually trying to physically open my eyes whilst keeping them closed, rather it was more of an embrace of all the imagery, as if I was accepting I was in a 3 dimensional space.


So that was annoying, that I couldn't change the football into a star. How will I fly if I can't even do that? I think the problem was that I was only thinking I wanted it to change, with little expectation of it actually happening. I didn't visualize it happening, I just wanted it to happen. Next time I'll have to "see" it change, and maybe it will.


13th April -

Dream 1
I was in a religion class with some old friends, they were all sitting about and smoking joints/playing games. The religion classroom transitioned into a bedroom without me noticing. I remember talking to a friend who used to body build but he looked really young again, like he did before his body-building days, and we talked about how it's a waste of time if you can't afford a good diet.

Dream 2
My dream log simply says "Dan spelling cat and" (I must have been very tired). I can vaguely remember a funny situation where my friend Dan was in a position of spelling something, and I was taking the piss out of him spelling the simple words cat and dog for him in a patronizing (but banterish) way.

Dream 3
I don't know what happened in this dream, except I know that there was a scene where I vividly heard words inside a dream for the first time. I was lazy in my logging efforts and have now forgotten them, in fact if I wasn't so sure right now about how I felt after I woke up that I heard vivid voices, then I would be convinced that I just feel like I have. Anyway this was unusual for me, usually I can remember being part of conversations in dreams but not actually hearing the words clearly, rather just remembering them. This time it was different, but I've forgotten the words so basically it doesn't even matter now haha.

The other sensation I felt in a dream for the first time was physical pain. I was unwrapping a bandage that was around my wrist, I think I had burned it or something, and I can vividly remember the feeling of the bandage being peeled off my raw skin and the stringing sensation of it. I hope it isn't possible to feel super physical pain in dreams, because if that happened to me with the mind I've got, I'd be fucked.

I haven't been on lately. I haven't been able to set aside much time because of school. Now that I'm on spring break, I'm briefly returning from my hiatus.

On to the dream:

The only parts I could remember are me sitting next to the girl I like (this is a different girl, BTW). It was actually on two or three separate occasions in the dream. She was even completely fine with it when I asked her. The seats weren't very big, so we were sorta pressed up against each other, which felt very, very, very nice.

One dream was, that a friend of mine invited me to come with her to a job, which would bring a lot of money, but it was something physical and outdoors and you had to dress warmly.
There were so many people at the gathering place - somebody said, our group would go somewhere else for another job.
This entailed sitting in the basement of a shopping-centre on long tables with a lot of other people - maybe even only women, not sure.

And it was handicraft - we were making/repairing Easter decorations - I had to fix new candles into some places, where old ones had burned down, which - typical dream - was pretty difficult.
In the end I switched and went about painting flowers - TOTM overspill, I'm pretty sure - so I painted unusual flowers on pieces of wood. Na well.

Then there is a fragment, where I'm with an ex-boyfriend from my youth at a frozen mountain lake.
He doesn't want me to go out - it's not completely safe, I could also see that.
But I went - bit also to daunt him - nothing happened, but I had to go back at one point, because cracks began to appear. No hectic or fear connected, though - I knew, I'd make it back safely.

Another fragment was being in my old childhood room, which I loved, and exactly at the right time, when the evening light would shine through my windows in a most beautiful golden way.
Bit more about me trying to get rid of some nasty furniture that had been stored there and properly moving back in.

When that dream ended - I had a mini-lucid moment, but no optics any more suddenly.
So I jumped in the air, like I usually do it, when lucid - and I had for a little moment the feeling of hovering. I stared into nothingness, hoping for a dream - but unfortunately I woke up then.

There was one more episode, where I went to university with two male friends of mine, and one of them said, women should undergo special tests before they enter - because most of them wouldn't actually do anything with their valuable (also financially) high education, but work as plaything manufacturers.
I swallowed - was after that job episode above..

I was with my younger son at a cabin of sort. There was a bookshelf of stuffier there, and I was told that almost all of them were regular stuffed toys except for the two eagles. At first I only saw one stuffie that was an eagle and it looked like nothing special to me. Then I saw the other one: it was actually made out of plaster, looked like a kid's art project, and it had a baby eagle with it. They actually looked more like owls, but everyone called them eagles. I was told the eagles were valuable and would soon be moved to the Smithsonian museum by curators who were trained physicists and thus very good.

When the curators came, the bookshelf was empty. I discovered that my son had a backpack full of stuffed animals, among others the stuffed eagle. I reprimanded him, but secretly thought how is a five year old supposed to know the difference between art and toy if this is art. He did not have the plaster eagle with baby eagle though. We discovered the plaster eagles in a bin full of blocks. They were in bad shape. The face banged up and no more mouth, nose, eyes. The curators who came to pick them up did not seem concerned though. Perhaps this could be fixed.

23:12 bedtime

00:00 Tuesday 2014-04-15

07:45

+ superhero flying/gliding/"spider" man. Flying/gliding down from parent's house. Some awesome high speed flying as approaching the city below, flying right through power lines I think I might hit some but know I'll make it through, land and ask about finding some place, there's a field of sand down the road.

Back at the house we're preparing the spider. My "power" is holding a very poisonous big (about the size of a fist) spider in a bag with me. I'm teaching my apprentice how to catch/lead the spider from their lair (in a bottle?) into the bag, leading it with some lure. The spider jumps on my right shoulder/face I feel it's claws digging in, I say get it in the bag! The apprentice grabs it using the bag and then squeezes/squishes the bag hard I say "No, you've killed it!" and the spider poison leaks out onto the ground forming a black pool.

Our cat comes up and starts licking/drinking the poison. I say "you've killed our cat!" the cat starts going into noisy convulsions and dying, it does this for a while, I say "well call the <emergency?> and find out how to ease its suffering."

I'm shaking the big sack/bag because I think the spider is just inside at the top, I keep shaking it and looking to see if I shook it down to the bottom, I'm doing this for a while until I realize it must have gotten out of the bag. I see it scurrying away on the floor and hiding underneath furniture, etc, I'm going after it pulling the house items out of the way to expose it and trying to catch it.

I'm outside on the deck talking with a woman discussing flying strategy/plans what's the best route to take to fly down to the city.

+ See friend DD I'm very happy to see him, he sort of drifts away, he smiles I see his teeth, they're distorted and long with brown roots like horse teeth, I think "he's gone long in the tooth," I see TZ with a distorted weird head on a tiny body.

+ MS from work, we're in car, all of a sudden in a casino, I hear the "ching ching ching ching ching!" of a slot machine, he's asking me what game is best to make his money last the longest, I'm trying to clarify what his gaming goals are.

+ wine bottles in restaurant/winery, I'm talking to representative there, they already have an exclusive bottling deal, I say how about I buy barrels of wine from them and bottle it myself, I see, touch, hold, look at bottles of wine from the shelf of the place, reading the labels, some dry red, some dessert red, imaginary grape names? I think a bottle may hold white wine but it turns out is also red.

+ sailing, see mansion garden in the distance with two sailboats, each circling around in their own pond, one (both?) have red sails. I'm talking about sailing with someone, trying to get another person interested in sailing, I say just take them out and get the experience of running into the wind, it's very exciting, I imagine it, then "hoisting the main jib?" (was thinking of spinnaker but not all ships have those) and just relaxing and going with the wind (and eating a sandwich?).

+ falling asleep in morning: thinking about levels of chess ability, see hillside of mixed green and brown grasses, something about needing to get/see the green grass.

14.04.2014

Tranquilizer Gun Fails, or I'm a Lousy Shot (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I’m hiding behind a rock that’s probably 5 feet wide, and maybe 3-4 feet tall. I have a tranquilizer gun on me, and I believe I’m wearing a black tac suit as well. The environment resembles a jungle, and the ground itself had a color of white rock material that’s covered by all sorts of minerals, dirt, and grass.

The area’s pathway I’m on seems to be curved like a “C,” where if I were to reach the end, I would probably have to jump off from a pretty high elevation to get to the lower section of this area. I’m as the bottom end of the “C” shaped area, and there’s a soldier patrolling around the section farther away from me.

He looks kind of like a Panamanian guard that you would see in Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory, though I’m not sure if the design for the Gamecube version was different from the XBOX.

How I conceptualized the whole experience seemed to have involved me looking at my dream self through third person point of view, and occasionally feeling my dream body as well. I try to take my time to aim the tranquilizer gun at the guard, and it seems this experience in the dream had to be reset several times because I was either missing the shot completely, or I didn’t shoot him anywhere in the head to hopefully make him unconscious quickly.

One experience within the reset was that when I took a shot, and miss, some kind of random object launched its way over to the guard. The object was hard to see from afar, but I remember that it had a violet color with a slight overlay of blue. The guard turns around, looks alert, and isn’t hesitant in calling for backup.

I can visualize how said backup would arrive, and there’s soldiers wearing some kind of dark yellow camo outfit with brown spots spread around it, along with them wearing black masks where only their eyes are portrayed through a horizontal oval cut-out.

_________________________

14.04.2014

120 Subjects Learned? (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Apparently, I tell someone that I learned over 120 subjects in High School and at a University.

Words come out of my mouth like crazy, and I felt like it was just coming by naturally without any intention of having to cover anything up. I think I stated I learned 110 in High school, and the rest at a University.

Even though the dream didn't make any sense, it's kind of true of how you barely learn crap at a University, other than:

Spoiler for university/college logic:

April 13, 2014: I am at a block party or outdoor gathering following some sort of contest or sporting event like a baseball game. I am happy with the outcome of the game, not so much because we won, but because of the poor performance of someone on the opposing team as his mistake(s) caused them to lose.

I leave the gathering to take a break from the party crowd and find myself negotiating/pushing my way down a crowded urban sidewalk, like 7th Avenue in NYC. I pass a movie theater. When I left the party, I did so without any money, phone or wallet, which, in my dream, I normally keep in some kind of wooden box on my person, as I did not expect to want to leave the party as I had done, nor did I expect to be gone for long.

I decide to go for a jog and end up on far eastern Long Island - Montauk Point. I run to a place on the edge of a body of water which is murky and crowded with reed grasses and bog-like plants typical of the edge of a wetland. As I stand there gazing into the water, what appears to be a large fish, perhaps 6 - 8 feet long, swims towards me, then, reaching a too-shallow spot, turns to its left and returns out of sight to deeper water. Before it is lost to view I can make out its large, plate-like scales and the mud-brown color of the fish. As it swims away I realize it is too big for a fish, and from the way it swims I realize it is an alligator. Although I see only the one, I know the water has many more of them in it.

In order to leave where I am standing, I must cross a decrepit, poorly maintained dock/bridge made out of pilings and planks, many of which are missing. The alligators appear to be aware of this and in my mind I strongly suspect that they are lurking beneath the dock waiting patiently and unseen in case I stumble and fall into the water. I run/jump competently and safely across the decrepit dock even though I am afraid and now I can continue my journey/quest which I now realize was to re-trace the final steps of a friend who had recently died.

I am far from home with no car, no money and no phone, so my only option is to continue jogging west towards home. I run through a series of ground-floor patios at what appears to be a cheap beach-side hotel/motel, passing underneath the balconies of the rooms on the second floor. The balconies are supported on their outer edges by what looks like raw, unpainted 6" X 6" wood studs. I jog leisurely past **** (name deleted-old girlfriend), who is talking with, and in the company of a man who is kind of young for her. I say something to him (which she can also hear) about her being unable to give love to him to discourage the relationship, because it seemed to me to be the truth. Neither of them seems particularly upset by my statement.

I keep jogging and encounter two women, one of which has a car. I ask her where she is going three separate times and she responds the same each time but I do not know/am not familiar with the town she specifies. I say “One more time?” and she says the name of the town one last time. This time I hear the name of the town but it does me no good because I do not recognize it or where it is in relation to ***(my home town), which is where I want to go. Since we are so far east, I conclude it is a virtual certainty that wherever she is headed has got to be generally west and will bring me closer to home no matter what, so I get in her car. In order to get in the car, I need to remove three sacks of what appear to be bags of concrete, which we leave on the side of the parking lot.

It is at this point that I realize that I have been jogging and visiting places trying to uncover the last movements of my friend before he died. When I exit the car, I meet with a man who was a mutual friend of the deceased who is also my friend as well. I begin to tell him about my efforts and journey and all that I learned about our mutual friend. He puts his arm across my shoulder as we walk and talk. I wake.

April 6, 2014: I am in a large parking lot, like a drive-in movie. I want to speak with an old girlfriend but I can’t seem to get at her. I go to take a shower, and I do. I need a towel, so my wife Lynne says I can use one of hers. I do, then wrap myself in it. I walk around and come upon a woman reclining in a chaise lounge or couch. I want to be physical with her, but when I caress her breast she complains that it hurts, so I give up.

There is a room with multiple small children on metal bed/cots with thin mattresses. They appear to be of African descent, and look malnourished and sickly. I am taking care of one, and other people are taking care of others. I want to use a stethoscope, but I don’t have mine, so I use one that seems to belong to the patient.

There comes a time when I want to leave, so I go to get my car. At the parking garage/lot, there is a wooden board with a clear Lexan cover, inside which the keys are hung on numbered posts. I pay my fee and give the attendant a $5.00 tip. The system for dispensing my key (# 111) doesn’t work right. The pin is supposed to retract, dropping the key to the bottom, and the bottom is supposed to open so you can retrieve your key as from a vending machine. A husky, dark skinned, foreign-looking guy behind the counter comes around and opens it from the top. Instead of being handed my keys, I am handed a plastic model of a car. I wake.

April 5, 2014: I am in a college dorm-like setting, looking for a place to wash up. I enter a bathroom which is pretty crowded with people and sports a wall of multiple sinks and mirrors, all in a line. I go to the crowded sink area and put down a tube of toothpaste behind the faucets and turn on the water. A guy speaking gibberish seems to object, but I gesture in a way that calms him down so I can soap up and scrub my face.

I wander around and the dorm-like scene morphs into more of a glass faced store front-restaurant with tables and chairs. I am deep inside this fairly large place 2/3 the way to the back right corner. Some gangster-like people come in and start shooting the place up. I lay down so that the bullets are blocked by a low concrete block foundation wall (about 2 -3 courses tall), and the bullets that go over the wall miss me completely. They are shooting a machine gun/automatic weapon that sprays bullets, but they do not enter more than a few steps into the restaurant, and they do not seem interested in seeing if or who they killed, so they step back outside. I am fine.

Now the store seems more like a Sleepy’s mattress store and I am laying behind a long impenetrable (by bullets) mattress, not a concrete block wall. As the gangsters prepare to leave the scene, I whisper to a woman who is also cowering nearby that people I refer to in my dream as “my girls” will get them. Lynne (and others?) arrive in an armored Hum-Vee-like vehicle with a gun mounted on the roof and seemingly save the day like an FBI Swat Team. Back in the store, it morphs back into a college-like setting where I decide that I will not take an experimental “psychedelic #2" (or “psychedelic B”?) due to these recent upsetting events.

April 4, 2014: I am in a house along with Lynne, but the house is not our own. There are other people there, and the plan is for us all to stay there overnight. I grow concerned and embarrassed that we may not be sleeping in the same bed, or even the same room and that people will know this.

I find out that a bicycle that I like was left by Lynne at a near-by beach. I go there to get it back. I park my car in the nearest available parking stall at the beach right at the curb near a sidewalk that separates the parking lot from the sand of the beach. My spot is very close to a kiosk of sorts. The spot I park in has a lot of sand on the asphalt, but the sand does not obscure the painted yellow lines, and I can tell I am legally and properly parked in a designated stall.

A male and a female park employee are at the kiosk-like structure, and they have the bike. The park people will not let me have the bike until I pay a fee for it. I get upset and make an argument that Lynne took the bike without permission and maybe even left it there on purpose because I had spent a lot of money fixing it up and making the pedal-bike resemble a motorcycle.

There is another woman at the beach who is willing to give the park people minimal money for the bike, and I shame her with words about trying to get something for nothing. The lady park person asks me if Lynne and I maintain two households (live separate and apart) and I say (truthfully) “yes” because evidently in the dream world we don’t live together happily like we do in real life. The woman park employee appears to soften towards me and whether she will give me the bike and is starting to grow convinced Lynne may have left the bike intentionally out of hurt/anger to punish me. I wake.

April 3, 2014: I and my crew are one of two factions aboard an airplane which is lost due to someone intentionally scrambling the original navigation start position and then making large, frequent unrecorded heading changes. I trust myself and my crew, but not the other faction.

We fly past a deli I recognize and I think I know where I am, but I’m not sure since the direction of flight is still unknown. I want to sleep but I don’t fully trust anyone who might be awake to make decisions or notify me of any maneuvers or position fixes made while I sleep. I wake.

March 26, 2014: This is the last fragment of a longer dream which I can’t remember: I am with a group of five or so people in a crowded place which seems like a street fair, outdoor festival or concert. We need a place to stay...but everything has already been booked. I say to the group that my wife has a place nearby, and we are suddenly there. The woman who plays Bernadette on the Big Bang Theory TV show barges into the ground floor apartment/condo which contains a bunch of things that a male occupant might have in his room, only no one is there at the moment. The door is evidently not locked, and Bernadette enters the apartment. One of the many things the male occupant had in my wife’s apartment was an abnormally long automatic assault rifle, which Bernadette comes out holding/wielding like a professional, but without firing it at all. I wake.

March 23, 2014: I am the driver of a car with two passengers on our way to a hobby shop. The hobby shop is located in a strip mall. I make a right turn off the road intent on going around or past a gas station, as I am not interested in filling up. Somehow, I end up at a gas pump in the gas station anyway.

I get out of the car to tell the black gas station attendant I don’t need/want gas, but he already has the filler hose in his hand so I release the gas cover lever/lock and allow him to put gas in.

Now we are in this hobby shop. My friend Mal S. is the proprietor. My companions and I spend some time in the hobby shop and I leave with several objects in my pocket, one of which looks like a sleeve of electrical wire staples with black plastic insulators which I think actually belongs to one of my companions.

Next, I find myself “at home” but it is strange and not altogether familiar house. My companions are gone, but they left on numerous lights in various rooms. I purposefully wander from room to room and shut off the lights, which all seem to shut off normally in response to their various switches, including a bedside table-lamp with the old-style brown plastic cylinder that you push “through” the bulb holder from one side to the other to operate.

I walk through the house after shutting off the bedroom lamp and I am chewing on a black plastic zip tie like a farmer with a piece of hay in his mouth. I wake.

March 22, 2014: I find myself in a comfortable medical setting. I have just referred someone to the doctor in whose office I am present. I am in the company of a somewhat obese Hispanic female. I am undressed, but not ashamed, and we speak while I get dressed. I do not have to search for my clothes, they are right there, and I step into my underpants, which are more like board shorts.

They want me to go see my own doctor - I’m not sure why. The unseen doctor seems friendly and concerned that my visit to my own physician will make me anxious so they offer me a prescription for a new, mild sedative with which I am not familiar. I say no thank you, but if they give me anything, I’d like Xanax. They are willing to give me a prescription for only two of the Xanax pills, which is fine with me. I wake.