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    1. 04.06.2023 First long dream to DJ for SC-MMXXIII

      by , 06-04-2023 at 10:57 AM (4th DJ-Attempt)
      Stress of life

      Last night I went to bed very late, around midnight. The recall starts as usual at work, and then it unfolds into more complex known scenarios that are frequently dreamed. It gave me some clues to follow during my WL. I’m planning to do more RC’s while I’m at work in the first place. Then pay more attention when I start worrying about certain things. If I’m intending to have some LD for the competition!

      …/As usual I’m immersed into arranging articles. This time, they’re toy trucks for kids under 3. They’re stout and have opaque colors. I’m putting another type of articles to the side of the group, something like video game cartridges or VHS tapes or some odd stuff that pulls my interest, they’re put into plastic bags. I take a look on the group of trucks once more, around 20 set in a square order.
      I stand up and start walking down the yard of my childhood school, with big pines on the sides. Not sure about what I’m looking for, but as I keep walking down the place, I get into my university campus. There’s some people walking around in the whole place. It looks like I’m looking for a bathroom. While I keep walking down the pavilions, a lot of students start coming out of the classes. I turn around and start walking back my way. More and more people start walking in my direction, others just standing and talking. It looks like all of the classes ended at the same time. While I’m walking I see a small dog walking with the crowd. It’s a Pomeranian. The dog is looking at me while it quick walks at my left side. That funny walk as they’re smiling at you while they move. I make a gesture like I’m going to put my face closer to it. Somebody starts calling from behind. It’s a female voice calling a woman’s name. I guess it’s her owner. The dog stops for a while and starts walking again as I start moving. She’s calling her dog again. I make the gesture again to make it stop. The dog stops and I keep walking my way back to the upper layer of this place, hoping the girl got impressed with my super powers of being able to make an unknown Pomeranian stop walking.
      I get distracted with a crowd of students standing in rows trying to get into some place. They’re matriculating for the next year. I have to do the same but have no idea what to do now. I didn’t get good notes. I start worrying about what’s next. How I was able to matriculate last time in certain courses if I didn’t pass the previous ones. I try to walk through the crowd but it’s impossible in certain ways.
      I see a room to the right side. I get in and see a meeting of teachers sitting on a big table. I recognize some of my school teachers. The one from History is sitting looking at the table as he’s worried about something. They’re introducing themselves.
      I get out and get into another room at a level some steps lower than the floor. There’s a big bed and somebody known is there. She let a bucket of yellow colored water fall on the side. I complain about it because it may ruin the articles. I’m at work again, I go to see what happened on that corner. I see a known carpet under the bed. There’s not much water there. I leave the place.
      Out there I see a friend of mine getting inside a little store, he’s buying something, it’s a music album. It’s roughly packed and doesn’t look original. I get into the store too. On one of the sides, they’re selling music. I say they’re rough copies. Somebody answers yes they’re copies. I go out and tell S. they’re pirate. I ask her if we are still in the city we visited some years ago, she answers yes. Of course! I say, they’re pirates! I see G. proudly showing the CD, DVD? packed in a plastic bag with the printed album cover inside. It’s red and white, I cannot see the logo but I’m guessing it looks like Rigor Mortis first album cover. No way, it’s not original.
      We start walking down the side walk, and I see a couple of food stands on the side. I see what they’re cooking on the frying pan, it’s something I didn’t have for a long time, one of my favorite meals! I tell her we should buy some and have it for today. The path turns into the street leading to my WL place. We’re getting into her car/…

      Updated 06-04-2023 at 08:17 PM by 18736

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    2. Comp nights 8,9,and10

      by , 03-12-2023 at 05:12 AM
      3.9.2023

      Notes from last night: Hotel, pizza, a bunch of people on the bed while couch has empty spots, 7 of 9, VLDL on sports field, watching sports game, participating in sport while on roller cart, someone died, got sympathy card

      Not sure if this was all one dream [+1]

      I was staying in a hotel. I think we were on vacation. Not sure who was with me, exactly. Someone got the hotel to put a pizza dispenser in their room. The pizza was pretty good. A bunch of people come over to one of the rooms, and a few of them pile onto the bed while only a couple of people sit on the couch. Something about “why doesn’t someone move to the couch?” There seems to be a guy there people don’t like, or are annoyed with, or something.

      Seven of Nine does something involving a bath tub – filling it with dirt or something.

      The acting group Viva la Dirt League is on a sports field. I discuss them with my Uncle, I think. A sports game starts taking place, while I go inside (the hotel?). Then I go back out. There is a lot of water around.

      I walk up toward the university campus. There are some people playing a sport that is like soccer but with a volleyball. I am on a small roller cart, and I catch the ball at one point. Also, it seems to be here that I’m simultaneously in a Church service. Someone has died, and the service mentions them. Meanwhile someone hands me a sort of a sympathy card. I didn’t really know the person too well though.

      3.11.2023


      1:02am – bedtime

      3:56am – WBTB [+2]

      Took the following notes by hand:

      “Lurkers-type war, bike lock; going somewhere, finding reading material, packing, trying to make a movie with a “robot” Servalan, having trouble with arm pistons. Trials in lab. Kneeling for crown.”

      To elaborate:


      I don’t remember much about the Lurkers-type war (Lurkers.io is a browser game that I have become kind of addicted to).

      Fragment 1 [+0.5)

      ...I think I was trying to lock my car to something using a bike lock...

      Fragment 2 [+0.5]

      We are getting ready to go somewhere. I don’t think we will be gone overnight, but for some reason I want to pack my luggage anyway. It will be a longish ride, so I also want to find something to read. I look browse some magazines...

      Fragment 3 [+0.5]

      I was trying to make some kind of movie using a robotic imitation of the character Servalan from the TV show Blakes 7. The arms, or at least the hands, were made of pistons, and I was having trouble getting them to do what I wanted them to do...[Servalan seems to be a dream sign. I watched this show over a year ago, and I don’t think I dream much about the other characters anymore. But Servalan keeps popping up.]

      Why Lucid Dreaming-servalan.jpg

      Fragment 4 [+0.5]

      Doing some trials in the lab, which involved running around a table. I feel that I should have been completing a circuit of the table and ending in the same spot, but I don’t end exactly where I want to. This might be acceptable though...[maybe the same dream:] kneeling for a crown...

      4:13- back to bed

      9:56 – awake. Took the following notes by hand:

      “Man drowned in [nearby lake name] while being chased. Body not recovered. I look at lake. See guy laying near opposite bank. They say he was used to the cold or something. Is that the guy? Up into a cave.

      “Sleepover at Uncle D-‘s

      “Getting gas, making rhymes.”


      To elaborate:

      Man in lake, cave [+1]

      Someone was being chased, I think by the police, and ended up going into the lake. He presumably drowned, although they never found the body. I am walking along, looking at the lake a little unsettled wondering if I will see the body. Looking across the lake to the opposite bank, I see a man lying in a sort of concrete trough. He is living, and looks like a homeless man. I get the idea (maybe from people nearby) that he is used to being out in the elements. I think it’s possible this could be the guy that was being chased. Then I start going into a small, nearby cave. It’s dark in there, and I end up leaving.

      Fragment 5 [+0.5]

      I am at my Uncle’s house. I am spending the night there, along with some other relatives.

      Fragment 6 [+0.5]

      Riding in a car with my dad. We stop to get gas. I think I am going to be pumping the gas. I make up a rhyme about pumping gas. Then I make up another. I don’t remember much of the rhymes, except that the second one was something like “now it’s time for me, to pump some gas for thee”, maybe. I used the word “thee” anyway, to rhyme. I feel almost like they were limericks, though.

      3.11.2023

      Only slept for about 3 hours last night. I don’t remember much dreaming, although it seems like I was dreaming about circuitry and/or coding.

      Updated 03-13-2023 at 05:27 AM by 97618

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    3. Competition night 6

      by , 03-08-2023 at 04:47 AM
      Fragment 1 [+0.5]

      ...A couple is dancing together in a room to some music...

      Fragment 2 [+0.5]

      ...Couples are meeting their demise in different ways. It’s almost like a romantic thing, or something. One elderly-ish couple (probably 70s or so) are sitting in a car together almost laughing as a train-like thing comes up behind them. The feeling is like that “Final Destination” movie, I think, but more like a romantic comedy...

      Fragment 3 [+0.5]

      ...Walking out to the parking lot. It’s dark. We (a friend and myself) are going to our cars...

      Holly and the Chimp [+1]

      “Holly”, who is supposedly a relative, shows up. She has shortish hair, and is fairly attractive. I go somewhere, and come back with two stuffed animals. On the way, I start to go into a room where someone is showing a koala bear and a chimpanzee (or closely related species) to a class. I was going to cut through that room on my way back up, but decide to go a different way. I’m headed back up to a lab now, and talking to one of the stuffed animals that I’m carrying. When I get back up to where I was going, my family is headed somewhere. To eat, I think. I hope to catch up with them so I can eat with them...

      Fragment 4 [+0.5]

      There is a Church service going on on the campus of the university. I walk through on my way somewhere, and see Michael Palin talking to the pastor. At some point I stop and listen to the pastor talking. They have set up chairs inside a tent, and I think it’s interesting how different this part of the campus looks now. Later I mention to someone that I saw Michael Palin.
    4. 28 Jan: Genocide against women at a university

      by , 01-28-2023 at 11:49 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      About to ingress at some US university and my mom and a friend are accompanying me. The place is gigantic and it's hard to find the info I need. Finally find the office of supposedly my main teacher/tutor/guide and go there to ask for help, but I am told by some other professors that he is late and no one knows exactly when he'll come. They suggest going to the welcoming area for new students that we totally missed on our way in. They give some directions, we see a place with hundreds or thousands of kids and assume it is it. Turns out most of them are really young kids who are there for some show on ice around an ice rink. But nearby is indeed the welcome booth and a line of maybe ten people. We wait in the line. As we move forward and observe the campus and the people, I confess I am not liking the university so far and miss my old faculty. But I am willing to give it a try and ask them for my schedule so I can attend my first classes.
      Then it all becomes stilyzed like a graphic novel and I am just observing it like a film. Some group of extremists arrives on campus, makes some statement against women and says that it will be a good day if they kill at least a third of all the women there. Then a slaughter starts, mostly women and girls but also the occasional male that tries to protect them. It becomes a sea of blood, corpses and skeletons floating in the sea of blood, and women falling into that sea like lemmings jumping over a cliff to their deaths.
    5. 23-01-12 Bomb in School

      by , 01-15-2023 at 05:56 PM
      I was entering a school/university to disarm a bomb hidden somewhere on the premises. I knew this, because I was being guided by a woman who could see the future. Apparently there'd been a previous timeline where the bomb's gone off, and I'd died. Bummer. (Possibly, she was also a time-traveler.) I ran up some stairs where everyone else came down. I remember thinking that at some point someone was going to try and stop me, thinking I'm a student and I should be headed for class. I don't recall how things went, but I was successful this time and the bomb was presumably disarmed. Anyway, when it was all finished, I met up with the woman again. She was a beautiful, had long red hair, and was in her to late '20s. I quite liked her, and we got along well. I didn't want this to just "end", lose touch and miss this opportunity to get to know her better. Before I woke up, I had a vision (where the line between unconscious dream and conscious imagination blurs) of her lying in bed with me.
    6. Winter Competition 12.8.2022

      by , 12-09-2022 at 04:31 AM
      12.8.2022

      Bedtime probably around 3:00. WBTB around 5:54am. I don't think I planned to do a WBTB, but one of the following dreams ("Gorku") was so interesting that I wanted to record it. I think it also kind of scared me and made me turn on the light.

      Fragments:

      (1) Something about a guy, outside walking around something? Sharp pieces of wood. He’s worried that something or someone is going to catch him. He is talking to someone else. Something like taking over a business? But the thing pursuing him makes him not want to take over the business any longer, or maybe he thinks the thing will catch him? Smashing at things (wood, like brush and/or downed tree branches) with a sharp piece of wood.

      (2) Singing songs (old west saloon songs?) while washing a strange knife in the sink. Instead of a cutting edge it has a flattened bit that runs around where the sharp edge should be. Something about how I can sing all the songs now that the kids are gone? (Implying that at least one of the songs is not appropriate for children to hear).

      (3) Someone singing a song from My Little Pony? While I do something with a toy lion?

      (4) Circuits, or pieces of circuits, talking about things. Bits of meat, or something, that are supposed to work like some cellular or electronic process. But it doesn’t seem to work properly.

      Trying reverse blinking?

      Mom’s Presentation

      Walking down a street. Two people jogging by – a man and a woman. I wonder if they are raising awareness about some neurological disorder or something. Something about kids going to school. This also involves plastic tubs. Lots of kids in the streets, transitioning into the aisles of a store. I make my way to the front of the store, avoiding the large numbers of kids by taking aisles to the side. When I get to the front, Mom is preparing to give a talk. A woman is talking first, but doesn’t seem to want to let Mom talk. It’s like this first woman just has a speech that she wants to read and won’t listen to anyone else. Then my Mom starts talking. She references things that the audience won’t necessarily understand, and doesn’t seem to be doing a great job in this presentation. This then kind of transitions into looking at children’s toys that make sounds (?).

      Gorku

      Oscilliscope thing to do something. Supposed to make them do something in response to light. I have some ulterior motive for wanting them to go through this, and actually am disinclined to have them do it. But there are some people, or another person (a doctor(s) or scientist(s)?) and they think it should be done. When they are subjected to the device, it makes the girl see something – “Gorku”? Some alien-like thing. Causes the person (not necessarily a woman anymore) to go into some kind of fit. Hands get distorted. Bloated. The arms are twisted back behind the person's head, palms facing behind them, I think. I think something is also wrong with their mind. We try to get it back under control but things won’t settle down. Putting a pillow on the back of their neck doesn’t help. We want to do something. The person is deranged now, and gets up saying that they prefer to “crack and pierce and crack and pierce”. By this, they mean attack and eat people, I think. Ripping them apart with their teeth, or maybe with their own bones.

      It took me until probably at least 8:00 to get back to sleep. I had a snack and a cup of tea in the meantime. The following were recorded after this.

      Aunt at the University

      At the University? Walking down a covered walkway, kind of like the Roman villa type. My Aunt is there (the former wife of one of my Uncles – I don’t see her very often). At least it looks like her. Whoever it is, I’m a bit afraid that they will recognize me for some reason. She is walking the same direction as me, and we both turn around at some point and go back the other way. I try to hide my face from her so that she won’t see me. I also walk closer to the wall, partially hidden by some pillars and I think more in shadow. There is an opening in the wall ahead of us, and I think she turns that way. Somehow, we get close to each other up here, and even talk briefly I think. She doesn’t recognize me though.

      Giveaways

      This might have been the same dream as above, so I’ll count all of this as one dream for the competition.

      On campus at the University. I have heard that they are giving out free things, including free money, not far away. I decide to check this out. I go to where this giveaway is going on. There are piles of things on the ground, and some people at a table being given free “money”. I go up to this table and try to figure out what’s going on, expecting a catch. Someone explains to me that they are giving us coupons that can be redeemed for money, but however it works out the coupons are only worth a few cents each, it seems. It looks like you can get as many as you want, but even then, someone tells me about another person who did this for hours and only got something like $30. It doesn’t seem worth it to me.

      There is another table where someone is either giving away or selling electronic devices, or watches, or something. They call me over, and try to sell me a fancy watch/phone thing called “Andromeda”. It looks pretty nice, and I fiddle around with it a bit. It has lots of dials and controls, and doesn’t look like a watch or a phone at all. I think at first it has something called a muffler, but then I see that I read that incorrectly. It has an adjustment knob, and they hand me a special wrench that you use to turn this knob. I turn it a bit, but it seems to be pretty tight. There is something about a button too.

      Fragments:

      (5) A house with “ghosts”, or things that are pretending to be ghosts. They are talking together about how to get some kind of treasure, like gems and gold, and such.

      (6) Driving somewhere. There is a guy standing at a curve in the road. I think he might be going to ask me for money as I go by, but he doesn’t say anything. I pull into the parking lot of a grocery store. There are one or two people walking around that want to avoid, and do so. I go into the store. There are a couple of blueberries on the floor, which I pick up. After a while they become cherries. I look around for more of these, because they look pretty good and I want to buy some. I don’t see any, though. I come across some woman and we talk about the fruit selection, I think.

      (7) Coming back into my apartment from somewhere and sitting down. I have a drink of something, with ice in it. I also want to write, or use the laptop, or something, and pull out a large slab of ice to rest the notebook or laptop on.

      (8) Writing a list of the things that I have dreamed about. This includes the giveaway and the ghosts, and a bunch of other things. Or maybe I’m looking at a list of things that I dream about and notice that these things are on there.

      (9?) Violent scenes that include scenes of crucifixion. It is gruesome, but I also realize that this brought about my purification (through Christ) and so I see something beautiful in it. (Not sure if this was a separate fragment though).
    7. 8 Nov: Rich aunt throws party for me at hotel, Colin Farrel has a crush on me

      by , 11-08-2022 at 08:41 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In a large room with groups of people talking, making lots of noise, confusion. I can't handle it, so I leave. It's in some kind of hotel where I am staying. I know that NightHawk is also staying here. It is late night, but he has insomnia and is hanging around in the lobby. He sits over some bench and doesn't notice when I approach. I sit by his side and grab his hand. He is surprised and happy to see me. Asks why I am here, I tell him about whatever I was doing in the big room (some networking event or whatever) and I would, in the past, be able to enjoy the chaos and take notes about the dramas between the people and write stories about, but now I am just tired and overwhelmed and have to leave. We talk and we get cozy and we're both giggly and then we kiss. I am so hungry for him, I kiss him like a maniac. He complains I am not even taking a breath and therefore I am suffocating him too. I laugh. He says he needs to go the toilet. While I wait for him to come back, I am approached by my aunt's personal assistant and helpers. Apparently my aunt Ludovina is filthy rich. They ask me why I am here and say that my aunt is crazy worried looking for me and sent them to get me. She was throwing a party for me somewhere else, but when she found out I was at this hotel, she moved the party here. They tell me the party will be at a hotel floor they booked entirely for us. Then I watch an absurd parade of workers carrying lots of food and gifts into the hotel. Like, one person is pulling a cart full of exotic fruits, then three black men carry three canoes on their heads full of what seems to be fish and seafoood, plus a whole army of caterers with other yummi things. When NightHawk comes back, the parade is over, but I tell him what happened and that my aunt demands my presence, so I invite him to the party. On the party's floor, the first room actually looks sad and gloomy, with some family members and nothing much happening. I say I hope it gets better and they tell me to go explore the rest of the rooms. The next room is a prank/game and is full of fake cobwebs and an upside down piano. I don't know exactly what I should do, but seems like I need to get through the maze of cobwebs. Then I notice there is a real spider on top of the piano, not very big, but there are mirrors positioned in a way that makes it look gigantic. I still don't understand the game, but my family teases me by saying there will be a few more surprises and then there is the banquet awaiting us.

      I am at a university, like studying there and a young Colin Farrel is visiting friends or whatever. I see him through the corner of my eye that he is talking to people sitting to my side on a long concrete structure that serves as a bench. Eventually he sits down right next to me and he accidentaly bumps into me. I look to the side and he says sorry and smiles. I smile back and he introduces himself as some unintelligible african name. I excuse him but I say I know he is Colin. He asks my name and I say it but he is having trouble understanding or he is playing with me and makes me say it many times and finally spell it out. We make a bit of small talk but eventually he turns to his friends demanding his attention. I drop some papers on the ground, a bit by accident, a bit on purpose and get on my knees to get to see if he helps. He does offer help but I already finished gathering the papers, so no luck. Then his freinds get up and invite him to go to a canteen for lunch. Not the normal one where I usually eat but a fancier one. We look at each other and smile again and he asks if I wanna join. I say sure. I pick my stuff up in a hurry and go after them, but then meet some of my friends on the way who distract me and I lose them. I still go there, because I know the place, but they are already sitting and eating and I need to get the food first. There are no more plates and I can't find anyone to help me with that. Some girl helps me out with the drink dispenser and somehow I get some alcoholic beverage spilled in my head accidentally. When I am grabbing some cutlery I get closer to them and I hear Colin tell his friend that he likes me and can't take his eyes of me, but that I am a bit too plain and he can do so much better. His friend tells him he is being an idiot and overestimating himself because besides being famous he is not that special either. I find it funny that is friend is so brutal. I keep having trouble joining them because there are no more seats available near them, but I hear their conversation a bit longer and his friend is encouraging him to ask me out on a date. And mentions some advice from their friend Lisa Gerrard about relationships. My mind then goes on a rush thinking I don't really wanna be Mrs. Farrel, I just would like to date him for fun as it would increase my "market value" but in my heart I am thinking of NightHawk.
    8. 17 Sep: Bullied and despised by school colleagues, then becoming lucid

      by , 09-17-2022 at 11:14 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In high school / university mix situation, being bullied by Monica and her minions. Even in the bathroom, they burst open the stall where I am sitting on the toilet, demanding something I don't have, just to humiliate me. Then later on class, we're getting our grades and she scores higher than anyone else. I believe she is cheating, but everybody praises her and she gets a round of applause. I don't want to look petty but I gotta say something. I don't accuse her of cheating, but I say I won't clap because she is a bully and she's been bullying me constantly to derail me. Even if she really is smart, she's still a bad person. Nobody denies it, they tell me everybody knows that she bullies, but they still think she should be praised for her grades and they clearly think I am petty for bringing this up. I am appalled. As soon as everyone's attention goes elsewhere, she sneaks in close to me and pinches me hard, hurting me and I say I am sick of it and I am no longer going to be civilized with her. I do a choke hold on her and throw her on the floor and she kicks the air struggling to breath. I eventually let her go and we still fight a bit more, but I can tell she is scared of this new side of me. After the class everybody is going out somewhere and I join just to avoid being cast out, but I wonder if I should, since nobody likes me much anyway and I don't owe them anything. It starts raining as we walk down the street. It's already dark. I pull an umbrella out from my backpack. Everybody gathers in pairs or bigger groups under different umbrellas and I offer a ride under mine to anyone who needs it, but only Monica accepts. I yell there's not a chance in hell and I turn to a group that has like 4 people under one umbrella and offer to welcome at least one of them. They don't accept so I just carry on. I am tired of being nice. We walk into a grand central station and everyone heads to a subway line, but I miss them in the crowd. I don't know which direction they're going. Then I get distracted by some bijouterie lost on the floor. I pick it up and some lady who is just standing there notices it and says she had actually seen it before but was too embarassed to pick it up. She then points out to more bijouterie under a ledge and I am surprised with the finding. Like little kids who found a treasure, we pick it up piece by piece, making pairs with the found earrings and admiring the colorful stones and I fill my pockets with it. The lady doesn't want it for herself, she is just happy to help me find these. Then some other lady comes by and says she doen't think all that bijouterie is lost, but that it belongs to a seller who is there during the day and leaves her things hidden in there for the night. I feel bad and put it all back, except for that one piece that was efectively broken and in pieces on the floor and which seems like it was really discarded. Meanwhile, I am approached by Rupigo who asks me where some other colleague went and if he joined the others. I say I haven't seen him but I suppose so. Then decide to go after him as he probably knows the direction to go. But I don't want to go down the stairs against the flow of the crowd, so I just jump a balcony, the height of one floor, and gently land in the main central area of the station, near a ticket booth. I realize I am dreaming and that I can do whatever I want. I still debate a little with myself if I should go after the group lucidly, or not and I realize it is completely irrelevant. Instead I fly over everyone's heads and I move to the exit. I play a little with the fact that I can cross walls and columns and don't really need to find a door, but I am still planning my next move. Unfortunately the dream isn't stable enough and I wake up.

      Updated 09-17-2022 at 11:19 AM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    9. 5 Sep: Vacationing on a mountain village about to be attacked by zombies

      by , 09-05-2022 at 08:08 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Zilla had been on vacation in a remote mountain village and dared me to also visit the place. So I am hicking to the village. I am met halfway by a couple kids who accompany me the rest of he way. They even carry some of my things, excited. When I arrive at the village, the path splits in two and I am not sure which to follow, but see one leading to a panoramic deck and I go there to take photo to send to Zilla. Trying to climb onto this deck, I have to cross a square that has a sort of tank in the middle covered by a shed. One of the sides has a fence, so I can take a look inside. I get a bit scared as I see a bunch of people, looking like zombies, inside the water as if they are about to come out of it. But when I mention it to the kids and a couple other villagers, they go check it and there is nothing there. They don't dismiss it though. They act like what I said makes perfect sense and I notice concern on their faces. The adults exchange some remarks and one leaves as if he is going to talk with someone else but the kids dare me to follow them, all jolly as if nothing happened. They bring me to a large building that looks like a university and I am welcomed by some bery serious lady who tells me to wait in the hallway. I wait there, observing the carved wood statues and panels and running my hand over them to feel the extraordinary details. Then she comes back and leads me to a big hall where I am supposed to stay for the night. It doesm't feel very right, it almost looks like a library with some bunkbeds. Then some couple I meet suggests I follow them instead and stay at some other place they think is better. So we exit this place and go around to its back and find a smaller building facing a high stone wall that encircles this place. There is a small annex in the corner that seems abandoned but in good condition and the door is open. We go check it out and it is small with an entrance area, a reception desk behind a glass window, a couple labs, a small kitchen with a fireplace and a larger waiting room/ living room. We plan to bring in some matresses and sleep here instead. I notice that they observe the windows and check if the blinders work as they plan to shut them down. They don't explain much, but they say the reason the villagers are all stayin at this one place together is for safety at night. Some kind of legend about something atttacking that has returned and I recall the people I saw underwater. They are not yet sure the threat is real but they say we need to shut the windows for safety and avoid cooking or turning the fire on at night to stay incognito, and I worry that it will be damn cold and wonder if this was a good idea after all.
    10. 30 May: Mom dies and time travel with university colleagues

      by , 05-30-2022 at 09:50 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Staying with my mom at her house. For some reason we're sharing her bed. It is already uncomfortable and then I find that she has small stones and cristals under the sheets, for healing. They just hurt like hell. I remove all of it and clean the bed.
      Then my mom is no longer with me, supposedly she died. Someone comes over to talk about my inheritamce. I say there isn't much to inherit, just the house and her clothes. They suggest there is something more and that I have to find her will before someone else does. I don't get it, but I do find some letter in a drawer. Other people arrive, I hide it.

      I am attending college and currently working on an urgent work for the Portuguese class. I think I have enough time to finish my part, about 2 weeks, but turns out I hugely miscalculated the amount of work I still have to do. I have been procrastinating and the teacher reminds me how crucial that work is and I realize how late I am compared to my colleagues. I am still studying the sources and started witing one page. I find that my colleagues are actually mostly working in groups and I join one that I had supposedly previously left. Ana S. is in the group and I feel she is a bit suspicious at first about me wanting to redeem myself, but then she accepts me back in the group. The paper we are putting together is about some historical issue and then needs to be translated into a theathre play. I have a secondary role as a beautiful maid which marries a lord and gains power.
      Finally comes the day of presenting the paper and the concept of the play to the teacher. Everyone is in costume and I look in the mirror to see mine. I don't just look like myself in an outfit, I am actually a different girl. Also fair skinned with big dark eyes but my hair is black, long and curly. The room has couches scattered and we sit on them as the group leader introduces our work to the teacher. Some colleague then turns on a tv and shows a video, but it has no sound. I come closer to the tv to try to fix it and then accidentsly look through a window to my right. There is a hill going down until a small town on the valley. There is a rumble and what seems like an explosion and a cloud of dust spreads up in the air above it. Everybody in the room hears and sees it and runs to take cover behind or under something. The shock wave hits us and the dust cloud is expanding rapidly towards us. At first I think it is a volcanic eruption, but then I go look again and I notice that the space is distorted. The city did not blow up and instead is divifing and multiplying, like a cell. I notice the air seems distorted around it, like a gravitational anomaly. It seems to have opened a space-time breach beause then I see more people wearing old time clothes and riding horses and some old school war going on. It seems as if the time about which we were making our presentation, caught up with us and now we're geting involved in whatever war that is going on. I see a bunch of men on horseback coming towards us. Some of us go hide and others say since we are wearing epoch appropriate clothing, we should just mingle and see what happens. I am not so sure. I get some binoculars and observe the men coming. I see a pile of bodies of dead villagers they left behind in the valley. I feel horrified and feel they'll do the same to us. The others don't listen to me, they just stay behind and wait. I decide to run the opposite direction and just hide somewhere. As I start running, I wake up with a dog howling outside.
    11. ccclxxxiv. Space dread, foreign land, art/drawing class

      by , 05-09-2022 at 06:37 PM
      2022 May 8th

      Fragment:

      Something like NMS. Flying through space in a system of a few planets. There's a Dyson sphere surface (like in FL before entry) and there's a planet which just seems to be melding or embedded with the sphere surface (which in itself appears impossibly flat). Something feels slightly trippy as I start to warp towards this planet.

      (recall gap)

      Border control place, at an Arabic-looking kind of building. Some kind of ID is needed to enter this place, which is an unspecified foreign country.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm in a drawing class. Feels like college but with a mix of university too. There are photocopies of classical Roman-themed drawings which are sitting upright on a conveyor system and going around the classroom. I'm late to the class and don't get a brief and such. I start trying to draw based on one drawing of a gladiator down on the floor, the composition is focused on his head, wearing one of those brass helms. (Like in Jean-Leon Gerome's "Pollice Verso")

      I get about halfway through drawing this with a BIC pen and then somebody takes away the reference drawing I was using. I get annoyed by this and I try to simply wait to get it back and make attempts on my own to continue my drawing but it seems like it's not going to happen. I try to ask my tutor V for help but this doesn't go so well because he's trying to talk and me and others keep interrupting him and he forgets where he was with it, so he never really finishes circling around to any of us.

      Then the class is ending and my drawing remains unfinished, even though I'd been trying to make do without the reference. As people are leaving, someone takes the drawing I was working on, though I don't realise at first. When I do realise, I get annoyed and a bit frustrated by how everything was going.

      I just can't find the drawing anywhere and assume someone stole it. V and JC were waiting for me to finish looking because V was offering to give us a ride home and now they've been waiting a bit too long and just leave without me. It's now night time outside and there are other people around, so I am unable to distinguish who they are or where they went, in the dark.

      At this point I try to reverse time, without much fine control over how much time to reverse. The dream ends after a failed attempt where I reverted time too much, I think.

      Notes:

      - The main "trippy" thing about what was going on in the first segment was more or less what I could only ever describe as a feeling of dread when I first played some games like FL and when I experimented with placing planets and objects in such ways that the effect was so unnatural and which meant that when physically navigating these instances in a ship created a feeling very much like a fear of unknown and a sensation like falling. I can't really describe the effect on me too well because it has always felt particularly unique and I've never heard any special term for it, so weak comparisons are the best I can do.

      - I haven't thought much at all about something like the mentioned gladiator's painting for quite some time, though it is definitely amongst my favourites in paintings of such styles. The closest thing I can think of right now that has any associative resemblance would be thinking of a hairstyle for a character for H.
      -- The other aspect of this in the segment, is that the drawn reference of the gladiator that I was looking at was exceptionally well drawn and originally in graphite. The dead gladiator's expression was that of shock, looking sideways to his right, which relative to the position of his head would be "up". The point of view was at eye level to the dead gladiator and there was a fracture or some other kind of damage to the helmet. I distinctly recall there being chainmail under his helm.

      - The whole atmosphere to the drawing/college segment was one of a transitional phase, much like university actually had been. There was some dedication on my part but I was still not "in tune" with all of it. Although I do not recall exactly the quality of my own work too much in this segment, it wasn't too far off the original drawing I was looking at for reference. Symbolically, as this had the feel of a transitional phase and there are aspects of hindrances and frustrations, this is likely related to some of my current issues, which are not with some external factor this time but with an internal one, since it reflects the seriousness I want to put in while also reflecting something of myself to be lacking, with regards to having the required drive to push myself along where I want to go. (I am not feeling able to adequately express the sentiment of the relevance of this to myself right now)

      - Again this dream shows a strong symbolic element relating to three principles; individuality, group and collective, which seem to be strongly recurring elements at present, or perhaps my mind is much more focused on noticing this type of recurring element lately.
    12. 1 Apr: Rabid rats turn people into zombies

      by , 04-01-2022 at 12:54 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At my mom's neighborhood, behind her apartment building. I watch as a bunch of big rats climb each tree at the hill behind the building and destroy them in seconds. I make noise trying to disperse them, but I just delay the process. Someone starts screaming and I see rats trying climbing all over her. These rats are really dangerous. I get inside my car worrried about it, but I leave as I am heading to my old univeristy. My former colleagues are all there studying math for an exam and they wonder why I left the university. I wonder to. I go talk to a former teacher and bring some papers with me. I try to explain what I have been working on and that I left university in part due to my autism diagnostic. I expect some understanding but instead I get some some ugly remarks from her. and so I decide to leave. But she trigerred my stims and I am feeling uncomfortable that others might notice it. A friend joins me and we get in the car together. We notice more situations with rats out of control. We get home, which is a kind of loft with an attic that we share with a bunch of people. From the window we see absolute madness of rats everywhere attacking people and invading houses. I remember that the windows in the attic are open, I go close them. We all stay really quiet and silent, waiting for something to happen. One of the girls comes in with a bite in her arm. She later becomes rabid and attacks another girl. Meanwhile, outside people are starting to bit other people. I realize we have a zombie attack going on and we must leave the city now. But I am really concerned that it might be too late.
    13. 23 Mar: My dog Soraia follows me around and I accidentally kill 3 people

      by , 03-23-2022 at 09:12 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I am leaving Soraia at some junkyard temporarily for some reason and I don't want her to follow me, which is hard because the gate doesn't perfectly close, it has gaps and she manages to escape through it. So she follow me. I pick her up again and hand her over to the junkyard guy. Then I go to a class at the university. I sit at a desk with some other girl I know and she offers me a bag of meat for my dogs, which I start shredding with my hands hile the teacher talks in the background. Some people see it and make some remarks about it. Not so much for doing it in the class, but how can I be doing that if I am vegan? Then I spot Soraia going around the room looking for me - she escaped again - and I select a portion of meat to offer her. I bend down closer to the ground and call for her to come, which she does and I give her some meat.
      The room is now an ampitheathre outside in some old archeological ruins. On each side of the amphitheatre there is a corridor sided by stone walls ending and both ending in an area with large steps or small platforms where we can also sit. I followed Soraia here. I see a nice stone that I think would be great to take home and put under the leg of a table that is unstable, so I pick it up. Then I see a shadow and hear a noise and look up and there is some sort of catapult that I accidentally triggered by removing that stone. First I am afraid to be squashed but then I notice the catapult's arm is long and will actually hit the people sitting in the amphitheatre. I yell and warn them and they see it. But they are packed together and I don't know if they manage to escape. As I come closer, I stumble on people leaving the place, some that I know and I ask them if everyone is ok. They say no. Two guys were instantly killed and a 3rd person died soon after plus many are injured. I panic. No one seems to know it was my fault and I am torn apart. The right thing to do is to turn myself in before they find out, on the other hand I feel I can't admit guilt right now or I'll be killed by the mob. Don't know whom to talk too. I join them mourning and trying to figure if there is any way anyone will find out it was me. I look for security cameras and there is one in the distance pointed at the corridor. Probably hard to tell that it is me in the video, but if they identify me, and probably will, i'll be suspect number one. So I better tell. Then there is some kind of gathering in an indoor auditorium to countinue mourning and honouring the dead and I stay way in the back just trying to figure out what they are saying about it. Seems like no one is pointing to culprits and assume it was a freak accident, so now I have doubts if I should come forward. I am torn apart and I also cry for the victims. Either way, I now carry the feeling of guilt for killing people accidentaly and it feels absolutely horrible.
    14. 16 Jan: Consultancy work, military coup and keep running away from my dad

      by , 01-16-2022 at 10:37 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      Working at a restaurant. One day we have to close early because there is some problem with vampires going on. Not really sure.
      But then we go back to business as usual. I am also doing a side hustle receiving farmers and agri-business clients at the restaurant, to do consultancy and certification for them. One day my parents come visit me there and some client asks me for free information and I refuse to give it a way. My father just doesn't get it and he starts shaming me and trying to tell the person what he wants to know. I have to intervene and clarify that he is providing wrong data. Then my dad gets really upset and says he has been listening to me and he has heard me making such recommendations to other customers before. I explain to him that I am doing consultancy to different types of farmers, and he isn't qualified to understand the differences. I also explain that I don't just provide info for free or I ruin my source of income. Normally, he should understand the idea and even defend it, but this time he is just disappointed and lectures me about principles and I just can't take anymore. He shifts positions so that nothing that I do is ever ok. I just want to leave and to get away faster I fly away and I become lucid
      . I just enjoy flying and then walking through the city, which is a giant maze of buildings, streets, gardens, stairs, never ending and with so much complexity and detail. I marvel at the complex design of this city, then I stop at some street vendors and also marvel at the feeling of textures of fabrics and foods they are selling. I smell some food items and I chose a biscuit to taste. All senses are incredibly detailed and I am simply enjoying it, no other goals.
      Then I see some tanks on a road from a perpendicular street and I go check it out. People on the sidewalks are nervous and they are being handed some device similar to a pager which shows them instructions. It says it will be activated on a certain date and will provide info that people should follow. Seems a bit authoritarian to me and I am concerned, so I go around trying to get more info from other people. But soldiers come down from the tanks and tell us to line up and look at their parade or else they'll consider it disrespecful. Then I spot a suspicious dude driving a bus after them, with what seems a bomb ready to explode. And indeed he jumps out of the bus, which then smashes into a tank and explodes. The guy disappears in the crowd and the military are too numb from the explosion to go after him, but I do. I spot him and he notices that I am chasing him. He tries to lose me, but eventually I grab him. He doesn't struggle much, because he doesn't want to bring attention to us, but he asks what I want from him in an agressive tone. I tell him I just want to know who he is and what he stands for. I tell him that I dislike any authoritarian military government, but I do not support anyone putting bombs unless their cause is worthy and I want to know if his cause his worthy, so I can help. He doesn't want to say anything, keeps shaking me away and I keep folowing him and asking questions. Then I spot my dad, pretend not to see him, but he sees me and calls for me. I lose sight of the guy I was chasing and my dad catches up with me. I keep walking away, because I really don't wanna talk. I enter the back gate of my university (not my university in real life) and continure to a path on the right, trying to go inside a building and lose him. But I enter the wrong door and it takes me down some spiral staircase that keeps going down and down and has closed doors on each floor, so I decide to turn back up and I bump into him, as he kept following me. I just wanna get rid of him, so I try to break into one of the doors along the staircase and it opens to the backrooms of a kitchen. From there I try to find a way into the main halls of the building, while avoiding being spotted by the staff because I don't want to upset them. I do find a door with glass windows on top, which opens to the canteen and I see lots of familiar faces on the line. People like Jigme K. and his brother, L. Vicente and some of my friends. My dad is still behind me, but now I get lost in the crowd and surrounded by my friends and acquaintances I feel relaxed.
    15. 17 Dec: Penniless in Brussels, looking for work at a univeristy

      by , 12-17-2021 at 07:51 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In Brussels, penniless and in pijamas on the street for some reason. I take the subway without a ticket. I just need to travel a couple stations to one where there is a public restroom I can use, but I come across a ticket fiscal and I exit abruptly in the wrong station. I don't risk going back, so I decide to walk.
      Meet some folks at a park, one is my old school colleague Ana S. and she invites me to join them. Some guy is trying hypnosis on her, but she is not cooperating. Another person tells me she is highly anxious and this way she can't be healed. Apparently she has a problem with a horse that doesn't allow her to ride it and it is something with her that needs to be balanced so the horse will accept her. They offer me to come along with them on a boat ride down a river. They drop some dude at a university and I feel interested in joining him. I wonder if I can just drop by and look for work opportunities there. My friends provided me with some stuff and now I am carrying a trolley with a few items inside.
      At the university, walking down a hall, I spot a small department library which must be related to men's reproductive health, because the sides of the shelves are all shaped like penises and it is hilarious. I take a couple photos with a phone I now have and some idiots come by complaining that I am not respecting the privacy and right to image protection of the people inside the library. I explain that I am only photographing the dicks, yet they still bother me. I go away and pass by the cafeteria. I am so hungry and I need a coffee and I am glad they have very cheap prices, like coffee for 35 cts and nice cakes and a variety of weird sandwiches. They also sell something weird like a hot dog but the sausages are not served whole, they are cut in slices, dipped in different sauces and then spread on a weird bread. The sauce's flavors are awful, like mint, cranberries, strawberry and I just can't find one I would consider edible.
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