side notes

and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to save it.

My reality resides in my dreams...
and this is the nightmare I wake up to.

So tonight i had a few fragments of the same dream and I am still not sure how it all fits together yet but so far its like this:

Me and some friends from school are eating dinner in this little cozy room. Suddenly someone does something funny and i said "I wish we got that on movie" and some random dude said "well you got it on your iPhone - Just plug it to the TV"
We all went to the old old TV and we saw the video clips i had on my phone..

Another fragment:
We are a few people sitting around this older man and his laptop (it is someones dad i think) and we are having a good time (we are pretty drunk). The old mans wife joins us and rages at the man because he replaced all her classic music with hardstyle in her itunes music library

Third fragment:
A dude from my class wanted to borrow some old playstation 1 games so i gave them to him. i felt dirty so i went out a door and suddenly im at something that looks like a hospital. A rather creepy man stands in all white cloths and a beer - just looking at me.

last fragment:
I am once again in the same livingroom. i am making out with some hot chick i dont know who am

This was one of those dreams were I felt like I was just watching a movie or something. I wasn't IN the dream.

There were these twins at a party who collapsed because of intense leg pain. One of the twins was obsessed with girls, the other with video games. It turned out that they had been in an accident or had some kind of disease which they knew at some point would cause their leg muscles to atrophy. Someone called 911. It cut to them being at home with their parents (they were either in their late teens or adults that still lived with their parents). The doctor was also there and told them they would experience bouts of extreme pain for the rest of their lives and they would have to go to a care facility. It then jumped to their parents asking questions that they would use to choose the perfect facility for them. Every time they asked a question it would turn to the kind of screen you would see when making a decision or talking to someone in the Animal Crossing game series (at least the DS version) and the background of the menu was a pale yellow. One of the questions was whether they wanted to stay local (and it then zoomed in on a section of land that seemed to be around where they lived. it looked to me like the area near palm springs, CA) or go international (those were the two options). One of the twins wanted to stay nearby and the "game" chose a place for them right away. The other twin wanted to go to Japan. The screen then turned to a google maps type thing with the same pale yellow menu. It zoomed in on an area in Japan and I remember seeing labels for individual businesses (for example, there was a little pink fish with the name of a fish market next to it, etc). Then I woke up.

Then today in History class this article we were reading used atrophying muscles as a metaphor for something we were learning about.

a
May 18 2011

I am watching some scientist put some scientific stuff together.
Scientist: "Its a fusion reactor and if it doesn't work right could vaporize the whole city!"
He needs something, I run outside of the lab and run to get it not even knowing or caring what it was!
There is a field and its entrance by a road with a big tree at the entrance, it looks very nice but I keep running.
There are buildings in front of me but I run behind them between the long fence they had.
Some poeople got in my face to tell me to "get out of here" whatever, I think they are zombies and push them out of the way.
"Wow these zombies sure fall easily."
I go in a door and there is a receptionist area there. I run up grab something from the desk, the people are in the middle of a conversation and stop to see me dash in and take something and dash out.
I run back towards the lab.
Pushing down a couple of guys and an old lady.
"Strange zombies don't even seem to be interested in me but at least they fall easily."
Past the field again.
"This is boring, no more running."
"Wait, whats that up in the sky?"
Hundreds of little blocks of white, blue, and red are making up an animated moving picture in the sky using the blue sky as a background. It took up a large section of the sky and was a little animation of a jet liner taking off, flying around the blocky animated clouds and then coming back to the viewer.
"Guess its an ad for the airport."

[I saw nothing unusual about the sky show as I have seen about a dozen in my dreams but none recently. Since I was a little kid every once in a while a realistic area would have a "sky show". They seemed very real. They had sound to them but I was usually not close enough to the show to here it. For instance, one sky movie where I was pretty close too, and could hear the sound track off in the distance, had a short animation about how to brush one's teeth correctly. They were usually at night and were short movies, 10 or 15 minutes, with helpful messages ever five minutes or so.
They were so frequent I was able to even track down the projectors. After having this as a goal fore weeks I closed in on one "show center" surrounded by a chain-link fence. I climbed it and I saw the projectors, about 200 metal cylinders facing skywards, about a yard (meter) high with metal parts and plates in them. They shot some kind of energized beam up into the sky and when the beams crossed they gave off light, different beams gave off different colors.
If anyone has seen these let me know.]

Hello All

I've been aware of Lucid Dreaming for a long time, but I've never really done anything about it, despite a huge curiosity for the subject. Anyways, I've now decided to put my full devotion into this new project and hopefully I'll experience Lucid Dreaming, perhaps even master it!

So the project started the 16th of May, on a boring Sunday at my cabin. In the diary im now writing in, I will write down my; Dream Journal, Methods attempted, Notes & Personal thoughts.

- English is note my native language, and thus there might be some mistakes in the text, but please bear with me

Sadly, no dreams recalled this morning. Probably because I didn't sleep at home. Oh well, better luck tonight!

I haven't posted in a while, mostly because my dream recall is really bad right now, presumably because I'm somewhat overworked.
I do remember dreams regularly, and the global theme of each dream, but barely any details.
This is the only one since my last entry where I was able to recall some details.


I am travelling through many dimensions.
In each dimension I have to fulfill some sort of goal in order to be able to progress to the next one.
It feels a bit like a computer game, like playing the myst series. Once I understand the challenge of this dimension and I'm able to solve it,
some sort of path opens to a new dimension.
I don't really know why I'm doing this, I only remember that I need to "get to the end" to save someone.
Even though I am aware that I'm dreaming, I don't understand the overall plot or why I need to save this person, or even who this person is.
I am definitely lucid, but my understanding of what this means is limited.

I'm progressing through the worlds, there are many of them, and I get stuck in some because I have trouble understanding what I have to do.
I remember a sand desert, a salt desert, a jungle, a Maya temple, and being on an asteroid in Saturn's ring, but I can't remember anything specific about the challenges.

I enter a new world.
It is cold. My feet are touching the ice cold ground.
I'm standing on a platform made out of stone.
It hasn't been maintained for a long time, there's grass growing over it.

It's raining heavily, I can't see far. I'm shivering, I'm so cold, and it's getting worse because of the rain.
Why do I have to be running around barefoot and without a shirt?

I understand that this is the final world. This is where the person I am searching for is.
I somehow know that she managed to solve all the previous puzzles, but got stuck in this final world and has been trapped here ever since.
For some reason this scene feels oddly familiar, like I have seen this place before.

I start exploring, but the world keeps repeating itself into all eternity.
There's nothing but the platform, and an infinity of stone fountains every ~10 meters.
They all look identical.
How am I ever going to find her? And what the hell could the puzzle in this world be? there is nothing here!
I get a bit worried that I might not get out myself, I wonder if I can freeze to death.
I'm never cold in my dreams... this is all very odd.

I start running around aimlessly, and I keep running for a long time, hoping to find anything out of the ordinary...

... after what seems like hours, I feel like giving up.
I turn around, looking at where I came from, when I finally spot a person.
She's the one I've been looking for! finally!

She's sitting down, leaning against one of the fountains, which is why I didn't see her when I ran by.
I approach her and try to initiate a conversation.
She notices me, but she shows little reaction.

I look into her eyes... they seem empty.
There is no life in them, looking into them feels so very sad.
She seems to have completely given up on everything, what has happened?

"How long have you been here?"
"Eternity..."

I feel really sad, this poor women!
I wonder if she'll ever recover... I somehow doubt it.

I can't stop shivering due to the cold... I hate the cold...
I look at the closest fountain.
For some odd reason I suddenly understand the riddle behind this world.
I grab a knife, which it seems I have been carrying with me, and cut myself into my left index finger.
I let a few drops of blood drop into the fountain.
It turns red with the 3rd drop, and the world collapses into darkness.

Nothing happens...
The women says something meaningful, but very sad.
I tell her that it'll be alright, even though I have no idea what will happen next.

Lucid.

I guess you would call this WBTB. I was trying to call asleep consciously and it kind of worked, my husband almost interuppted me because he came out into the living room to get something, but he said something and I'm pretty sure it was real. I was in the middle of transitioning into a dream. He walked off and as he was walking down the hallway all I could see was darkness but I felt different, felt like I was hovering.

I knew it was the beginning but I couldn't get anything to really form, I did for a minute and I instantly started rubbing my hands together and I shouted clarity for the first time in a dream. It faded though, I don't understand this. I almost lost it and woke up but at the last second I decided to sit there and wait in the dark and that's when I was suddenly in my house. I can't remember much, but I got up from the couch and I think I said something to the dream, like be vivid, lol, since clarity hadn't worked. It seemed to work. I went to the door and turned the knob, it came open, much to my surprise and I shut it behind me as I stepped onto the porch. Then I jumped back like Spiderman to give myself a boost off the door and started to float, but I ended up grabbing onto my house and climbing on top. I knew the roof would only be hot if I let it, and for a second I was trying to feel it's warmth. I got up on the house and woke up. The whole time outside was very vivid and the sky was a dark yellow, but very vivid. The sky as I approached the roof was different somehow, I just don't remember why it was.

Ok, so after this lucid, I had a dream. Kind of a nightmare for me.

I can't remember every detail... but I was called into work at McDonalds, where I used to work while I was prego. I quit though and now I work at Wendys, anyways, I was working both jobs I guess, and this was my first day back at McDonalds. The manager was talking to me like she wanted me to come back for good, but I told her I could only work Thursdays and Fridays (The two days I don't work at Wendy's.) I had driven a moped to work, and I do remember doing this and leaving T at home, but when I got to work I wondered why I didn't just take the car. This is when some weirdness happened. I kept flashing back from being home to being online to being at work, all the while, having a huge fight with T because he wanted to sleep with other girls. I was very emotional in this dream.

There was a moment when I was at home and sitting on the couch scraping up a bowl of coke, cocaine. (I've never done this in RL.) T was talking while I was doing it, telling me he was going to this town and fuck some girl named Tex. He wasn't breaking up with me, he just wanted to fuck someone else. I was so pissed I picked up the bowl of coke and I had been putting baking soda in it, for some reason, anyways, I picked it up and slammed it right into his face. He couldn't believe it and I felt so bad, started apologizing, then I told him he needed to flush his eyes out with water, this worried him, he got up immediately to do this. We both went to the sink and were flushing our eyes with water.

After this, the girl showed up and was walking around and talking to T about all the things they were going to do together, while I was there. At many points, I told T I was leaving and he went into the bathroom and started throwing out my make-up. I followed him into the bathroom and not even a second after he'd walked in the entire bathroom sink was clean and glistening. I told him I WAS going to clean that eventually and he just scoffed.

There were these video tapes that this girl had brought with her, and she had rented them, hoping T and her would watch them together. I decided to hide them after debating on whether I should destroy them. I started hiding them around the house right before they walked in the door. They were talking about this place they were going to go. This is all I remember about this part.

Way on earlier in the dream, I was at my house, which was also a store called Third Planet (actually exists.) My friend J shows up to sell some clothes, he seemed hesitant when I answered, I was like come on in, and I finishing a cig. He comes in and sits down on the couch. Just then I see a mouse run from the closet door. I freak out and tell them and two of the guys that were hanging out, K was one of them, was going to kill it. I told him if he killed it I would beat his ass, told him to let him outside. He went over to the mouse and almost smashed it, but I stopped him and then he opened the closet door and there were three more mice, I started to scream. (Mice in real life don't scare me, Idk.)

Well, wish I could've remembered all my dreams from last night, but I just took this nap and this is all I could remember.
From last night, I keep getting deja vu though about the dream, just these feelings from it keep popping up like flashbacks and fading real quick before I get a glimpse of anything tangible I can actually write down. I just keep thinking about this Tall man.

I've had a fair number of dreams that I've written down but haven't posted. There will be a lot more posted in the near future.
Fragments:
1. A vacation house in a cemetery with a canal flowing alongside it. Only one part of it is haunted, and that's the hot tub.

2. Post-apocalyptic. Images of a barren landscape, partially destroyed, but more just battered. The land and the damage still pretty fresh. If I recall correctly, it was like waking up in 28 days later having missed the whole thing and trying to figure out what's going on and why the place was uninhabited. No imminent threats, just loneliness. I find one survivor and hang with her. Later, we find a whole bunch more and I remember packing my bags to go with them somewhere.

3. I'm in a video game and I get to a boss level, I have to move a small fantasy-style army across a mapped out green landscape to these mountains. We get there and I beat the shit out of this midget-height boss (a goblin, I think) in SLOW MOTION. I remember grabbing him by the feet and swinging him head first into a ledge.

I feel like a failure. Haven't been writing anything down and lose the dream by afternoon. I did go lay down for an hour earlier to practice getting my body into SP. I didn't get far, I think I had just fallen asleep and then I had a small dream.

I thought I was awake, because I was laying in my bed and my husband had just come in and put Mia, my sister's dog, in the bedroom and shut the door. I got up, because I wanted to know why Mia was here (I had just seen my sister and Mia yesterday.) I got up and let Mia out of the bedroom and went into the living room with her. I didn't see my husband, but everything was gone in the living room, like picked up. My first thought was wow, he's cleaning. I started thinking about Mia again and wondering if my sister had forgotten her here. Then I woke up in my bed about 5 minutes before my alarm would've went off.

Might have had the potential of becoming lucid if I hadn't woken up. I think I knew it was a dream but just woke up to make sure instead of doing an RC. >.<

DELETED

No recalled dreams this morning. I wasn't able to set my clock to wake me up multiple times during the night, and I only got about 5 hours of sleep, so I guess that why. Going to bed early tonight, and I'll be setting my alarm clck to wake me up 3-4 times. I hope I'll recall loads of dreams, and maybe even get a lucid one! I'll be going MILD-amok!

It's not a new assertion to say that many dreams are mundane. However, I more and more suspect that most dreams are irrational. The more irrational, the more easily they are forgotten. This probably has something to do with the configuration of the brain during dreams. Some parts in very low demand in general, but in lucid dreams more parts can be accessed. This is a physical reality.

Katie & Fred have been family friends since before I was I born. They have occupied at least 4% of my dreams over the years, and their houses, attic, and daughters an even larger percentage of recalled dreams. I have very little contact with them anymore, but they still appear often.

The beginning of this dream is unclear.

I was at Katie & Fred's house. It was a blend of the second house of theirs I use to visit as a child (the one with the attic) and an old restaurant. Leaving the restaurant area I had to cross what was their backyard to get to Katie & Fred's bedroom. (This is the backyard visible from their attic window.) For some reason I was intent on leaving the gathering of people including my Mother to use Fred's computer. The door led directly to their bedroom which is almost accurate. In real life that door led to Molly's bedroom.

The bedroom was nothing like real life. When I stepped inside, I noticed there was a to-go container of food. For some reason, I opened it up to see what they had ordered. Inside was a delicious looking meal of Mexican food. I remember the beans, rice, and a Pita Pocket* of steak, tomatoes, cheese and salsa.

I couldn't resist eating some. I had a little bit of everything and a bite or two of the Pita Pocket. It was fantastic tasting. I tried to figure out where it was purchased so I could go there myself. There were no labels or any identifying information on the off-white cartons. I had the brilliant idea(!?) to do a Google search - using a piece of the Pita Pocket pressed into the search box on the monitor. I don't recall the results, but at this point I had the distinct impression I may be invading their privacy to a wild extent.

Shrugged it off by telling myself: nothing I had done on their PC was an invasion of privacy. Just then, the backdrop on the PC caught my attention. It was them, along with other people smiling for the camera. Nude. The borders of the picture were pink. I thought:

"Oh shit, Fred definitely wouldn't want me to see this desktop background."

Here is when things get super weird: I was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed using a PC next to their TV. Just then, a squirrel came leaping into the room from the side window. It leaped from the floor, onto the bed directly behind me and froze. Almost as if stuffed. I was slightly startled because its face was very close to my face looking me directly in the eye. (See Blackbird Flying LD)

I reached up my hand to pet it cautiously. This squirrel looked huge when I took a closer look. About 3ft long, thick, realistic with clean dark gray hair. Suddenly, what started as the far bedroom wall turned into a well forested opening to a noonday dense bright green forest. A little man appeared or the squirrel morphed into a fawn and a little harry man emerged from the woods. He threw the fawn over his shoulder and ran off. Just then I heard a narrators voice say:

"These little hairy forest men are known to kidnap reindeer."

Still feeling embarrassed, I decided to leave and go tell Fred all I had done in his bedroom. I crossed through the backyard and into the restaurant party area again. There were a lot of empty tables but my Mom, Fred and other people were laughing and talking at one of the center ones. I took Fred aside back into the yard and made a limited confession. I told him I had ate part of his food, but only a small amount. I told him I used his PC to do some searches. I deliberately left out that I had Google searched with part of his Pita Burrito to find out where he bought it.

This detail seemed especially incriminating because I suspected there was still a mess on his PC screen in the search box.

He begrudgingly forgave me. It was as if he only did it to exit an awkward situation as quickly as possible. He entered his room and shut the door. I started to walk about but had the thought "Opps, I forgot my journal in his bedroom." I knocked on the door and Fred answered with the expression he last had. I asked him for my journal and when he went to grab it I noticed he had wolfed down all the Mexican food. He handed me the journal without hesitation, I opened it up, and it was Molly's journal instead.

I had the thought: why would I ever bring my personal journal here anyway? Now he will think I was snooping through Molly's journal.

(*PRECOGNITIVE*) I told my my Mom about this dream. When I mentioned the Pita Pocket burrito -she gasped. She told me that Katie was obsessed with Pita bread recently. This is not something I had the slightest clue about, and Pita bread has definitely not been on my mind recently, or at any point.

i don't think anything will happen...
but i'm hoping.
i've been doing reality checks.

I'm in a big building of some kind. I'm high-school-aged, and I'm walking around in the building as part of a group of other high-schoolers [none of whom I recognize individually]. There's a tall table with a bunch of half-sheets of paper on it. They're sign-up sheets where we can sign up for the activities we want to do at an outdoor camp we're going to go to. I and several of my friends sign up for tennis. I think, Since when am I interested in tennis? [I'm not, in real life; I haven't even played it since high-school PE.] I also notice that one of the activities we can sign up for is beer pong. This strikes me as odd, too, since we're high-school students. Then I recall that in a previous dream in this setting [which, once again, I don't recall at all now that I'm awake], I learned that either the drinking age here in this setting is 18, or there isn't one at all, I'm not sure which.

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Side notes:

I managed to have a lucid dream last night, despite having drunk wine several hours before going to bed. I think the fact that the last thing I did before bed was writing and posting a dream journal entry helped a lot. In this dream, I was aware that I was dreaming, but the thought of going off and doing my own thing, rather than going along with the dream plot, didn't even cross my mind. I don't know why not. I also don't remember why or how I became lucid.