side notes

I'm at work, viewing the contents of my work e-mail account. I discover, to my surprise and dismay, that earlier, when I logged in to Petpet Park from work using my existing password and my new work e-mail address, the site created a whole new account for me and began sending e-mail alerts related to that account to my work e-mail address. Each of these e-mail alerts is marked with one of Petpet Park's pawprint icons. I'm very worried that my boss will see these e-mails and find out that I've been goofing off and playing games at work.

[Different dream.] I'm having a somewhat heated discussion with my parents about my living arrangements.

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Side notes:

I was already consciously aware that I was anxious about the topic of the second dream, but not the first one. That first dream brought my guilt and fear that my less-than-stellar work habits will be discovered to my conscious attention for the first time. I love it when dreams give me useful insights like that.

Intro notes and dreams last night.

I have been attempting to Lucid Dream for about 3-4 weeks. I have had one lucid dream so far.

Last night I had a dream of being at a track meet with my Tom my old coach and a few friends and family. They were finding a way to combine the teams so they could help each other out. Don't have much more than that.

As a side note my first Lucid Dream was in the house I grew up in. I awakened in the bathroom naked. I think I was looking at my hands and perhaps that made me lucid.

I stood up and looked around the bathroom. Of course there was a mirror there and understanding that mirrors can be strange I looked into it. My face was very distorted and I couldn't make it out too well. My body was hunched over and extremely hairy.

I walked out of the bathroom and into the dining room. From there I walked into the Kitchen. I lost Lucidity there. I think I simply fell back into a typical dream state.

These days I had crappy recall... It's not worth to be posted, just a couple of words, but I have it in my other DJ (the physical one). I think I'll try that ADA technique, while waiting for the academy reopen.

I'm sitting in class across from Milan and we're playing paper football, ignoring a nonsensical and hypocritical rant from Ms. Kaminiarz. I hear her ask Dennis to go write something on the board and whilst he's up there, he tells a joke. Everyone finds it hilarious, I hardly laugh. Some girl starts up a conversation with me about school and I notice Tawnya glancing over with an annoyed look. I get the impression that she think I`m interested in this girl but I'm not. A little while later, I notice someone rubbing/massaging my back. It strikes me as odd and I'm not sure who it is; I have a feeling it's the girl to my right (the DC named Courtney from a few previous dreams) but then I go "it couldn't be, what would she want with me?"I decide that it's probably Courtney (from Caf class) who's sitting behind. I can't remember what happened next but I know I had a false awakening after.

I'm not sure but I think this was my subconscious trying to tell me to stop settling for less.

Had several dreams last night but way too much going on to remember more than this.

There were a few people over at my house that I had never met before. One of the guys offered me a vial of LSD. It had weird floating blobs in it. He said I could trip for free and I told him I couldn't cause my kid was home. He said I didn't have to take much to trip and it wouldn't last as long. So I drank a bit of it and had some of the blobs in my mouth, I went ahead and chewed them up. Then he went and offered my husband some and he was going to take it. I told him he probably shouldn't just in case something happens with our son. He said he'd be fine and he took some too. I started tripping within half an hour apparently, at least that's what I exclaimed to a girl who wanted to take some. It kicked in fast, and I remember sitting on the couch, talking to two guys. It really felt as though I had taken acid, because the conversation was so simple and so funny. I just started giggling like crazy and I told them I had no idea what was going on right now, with the conversation. I started to see colors vibrate my vision and then they would disappear. My son was in his crib sleeping and I was staring at him when I realized I wasn't tripping anymore.

Just a fragment. There was a whole story to it. Slacking on my dream journal. =/

I have no idea what's up with the blobs...

Yesterday iwl, someone talked to me about a 16' trailer I am trying to sell. It is locked to a chain link fence.
The guy, Noe, looked the trailer over and picked up the lock. I wondered why he would do that. I suspected
he only came up to see if it was locked up, and after talking to me, he realized it was. It was odd the way he
picked it up for a second and let it fall as if to say, "This is a cheap lock" or "Oh, it is locked."

Anyway, last night I dreamed that there were two fences, one for the back yard and one for the front, and
there was about a 4 foot space between them. It was wasted space. Then, I knew I had to see if the trailer
had been stolen, so I look back and sure enough it was gone. The funny thing was, it seemed as though a laser
had sliced the fence in half. The line was going slightly downward and perfectly straight. It was intense for what
little of a dream it was, just thinking about what would have cut the fence like that.

BTW, in waking life, I still have my trailer and the guy never showed up today to buy it as planned. I'm going to
come down on my price today. Aren't you glad to know that?

I recall a small bit. I see a dog being scolded by his owner. He did something really bad, and his owner is pissed. Then, I recall seeing the dog get ready to run away. That's all I remember.

NOTE: I've been successfully preparing to DEILD, but it's always around the time my brother wakes up at 5:30. This causes me to get disorderly, and I'm forced to move and open my eyes.

I can recall a small portion. I was in my homeroom at school. I sat at a different desk. Then, Ashleigh V. from another class came in with a guitarist. She sang "According To You" by Orianthi. Thys about all I remember.

I think this morning I had my very first real conscious experience with OBE.
I think it happened to me before, but I wasn't really aware of how it started.
But really early this morning I woke up briefly in my bed from a lucid dream and as I started to plunge back into sleep, I heard a little buzz announcing sleep paralysis settling in. Two thoughts came to my mind: either I'd go with the flow or I'd move my hand a little bit to stop it, because I really don't like it and usually it doesn't take me anywhere anyway.
I tried to move my hand, but so very little that it wouldn't actually interrupt my falling asleep, just the SP noises. As I did it, I felt like my left hand was indeed made of two hands, the physical one and a ghost-like hand. Always with my eyes closed, I focused on the ghost-hand feeling and soon I started to see my hand, my bed and the wall in front of me, although I kept my eyes closed. My body did enter sleep paralysis but I wasn't really asleep either. I decided to move my ghost-hand and I saw it separating from my physical hand. It was cool!
Then I decided to get up, the whole body. I was lying sideways on the bed, over my left shoulder. So I tried to lift my ghostly head and left shoulder. Then "bam": I felt my "ghost" body separating from my physical body. It occurred to me it was an OBE.
Excitement was taken over by vertigo, nausea and an extremely uncomfortable feeling. I felt like I was leaving my body and as an effect I was dying. Dying would be ok for me: I wasn't feeling any particular attachment to this body and this life. But then I remembered my mom who was sleeping as a guest on the living room and how much pain she and other people who love me would feel if I simply left. So, afraid of continuing with the process and not being able to come back, I laid down again, merged my two bodies and simply entered the sleep and lucid dream state.
Later when I woke up I felt a bit stupid, because rumor has it that nobody really dies from OBE. But at that moment I wasn't so sure! It felt really real that I could die, but I know it's silly, so next time I'll try to go ahead with it.

I actually recalled a dream, and it was a long one, but I didn't have my journal with me, since I didn't sleep at home, so I couldn't write it down, and I didn't want to wake my girlfriend to go get a paper. And now I don't remember any of it. Bad luck! I'll go to sleep early today and set my clock to wake me up 3 times! No way I won't recall any dreams tomorrow!

Jacob.

I actually recalled a dream, and it was a long one, but I didn't have my journal with me, since I didn't sleep at home, so I couldn't write it down, and I didn't want to wake my girlfriend to go get a paper. And now I don't remember any of it. Bad luck! I'll go to sleep early today and set my clock to wake me up 3 times! No way I won't recall any dreams tomorrow!

Jacob.

It's my first DJ Entry in like six months, but anyway, I don't have that much to say. My recall was going down day after day like the amount of healty liver tissue in an alcoholic, and now I'm back from scratch, trying to improve my recall. I can only recall two lucids, one was the last year and the other one was a couple of weeks ago:

An afternoon with Chuck Schuldiner in Barcelona

I'm in my grandma's house (just behind mine), in her room. I'm watching a concert in DVD, called "Death: Live in Cottbus", with my brother and a tall guy with a black guitar, like Chuck Schuldiner's (Chuck is Death's the main guitarist/vocalist, He died because a tumor in his head). The band is playing Spirit Crusher, and that guy starts playing his guitar (unplugged), He plays so damn good (as Chuck used to), not even a singlenote is misplaced...

Wait, this cannot be real, We're in Spain (I was in my grandma's house, but I felt the atmosphere quite "spanish", like being in Barcelona) with Chuck (yes, that guy was Chuck Schuldiner playing guitar in front of me). I'm bored, so let's go outside. Chuck keeps playing, but he left his guitar in the room, so the sound comes from nowhere. I "pick up" an air guitar and start playing behind him, like an air guitar duel, for the rest of the song. After thar, He says "follow me, machine" (like "maquina", "fiera" or "campeón", ways to call other people in the local slang). Following him in the streets of Barcelona, some people starts poking me. I keep walking, but They are so annoying, like trying to knock me down. I fall to the floor, and all fades into nothingness...

Going back home

I am with my brother in a warehouse, our warehouse (huge dreamsign, we have no warehouse). I decide to go home. I'll be there in a minute, I just need to walk a couple of blocks. The moon is quite shiny this night. A little nigger comes to me asking for some pennies. I hate those parasites, so I've disfigured his face with my so feminine fist. Lolwut? I look like a woman (a very hot woman), but I don't get lucid despite the big dreamsign. Another nigger comes to me (a big one). He grabs me from my back and puts a knife in my neck with the purpose of stealing my money. I see my dad in the other side of my block, so I drag him there slowly in the struggle. My dad takes a glass bottle from the floor and hits him in the head. He falls unconscious. I run scared like a coward girl (now I can't avoid the dreamsigns).After running for a minute, I calm down and realized I'm in a quite vivid dream, inside a hot lady's body. What can I do? There's some obvious, options, but first of all I must take vengeance. Quo can't waste his (or maybe her, this time) time having sex with his/her gorgeous body when payoff calls the door. I start running back to the "crime scene". The moon seems very beautiful, and I can see the trees shaking with the wind. Finally, I am back, blood thirsty and crushing that nigger's bones. I'm so blind when it comes to attackig people! It would be funnier with a hammer and a screwdriver (like "3 guys 1 hammer"). Anyway, I had two "victories" in a single night.



Yesterday, I dreamed I was in a very crowdy train. I turn my head to the right and I see a mysterious girl. When I saw her face I got lucid (and unfortunately, I woke up). Now I can remember, I've seen her some time ago, taking the bus every wednesday for a couple of months. I knew She would trigger my lucidity because all the DCs in my dreams seem to be so boring, so common..., and I didn't see her in the dream plane until now. I can't wait to meet her so her mysterious look will lead my way to lucidity again (I hope).

So I'm an energy sensor and have an astral familiar/guardian spirit named Omen who is a black wolf with black feathered wings and small barely pointed horns, he also had red eyes.

Well the other night I noticed another energy in my room and I decided it wasn't harmful and went to sleep, dreaming not only of Omen but this other energy too. He took on the form of a demon (so he told me at least) he had; long black hair that constantly drips blood, angel wings, horns slightly longer than Omen's (they curved a little too), a long fleshy tail that has spikes growing out of it and dark green eyes. Basically he told me he was my other guardian along side Omen to help keep my energy balanced. I woke up and his presence has been around me ever since. What does this all mean I wonder?

No recalled dreams again, I might need to do something about this now. I'm almost not remembering any dreams at all

Jacob.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm traveling to Epcot on a highway. The highway is elevated relative to the park, which is long and narrow, and lush and green. There is a giant, inflated jack-o’-lantern in the center of the park. I’m dismayed to realize that the jack-o’-lantern has become the park’s de facto icon; it was never meant to be.

[Different dream.] I'm at a summer camp somewhere. [The day before I had this dream, I'd suddenly, randomly come to the nostalgic realization that it had been a very long time since I'd been to a camp of any kind. Thanks, brain! :-) ] I arrive at a wooden pickup station (sort of like a bus stop) at 8:15 A.M. [I think], in time to get picked up by a horse-drawn, wheeled wagon. I climb up into it and sit down on one of several benches. The wagon takes me and several other campers to an Old Western town where a reenactment activity will take place.

When I get there, I'm really glad I got up in time to catch the wagon, because the town is pretty cool. There are a bunch of animatronic figures that re-enact the shootout at the OK Corral. They have guns that fire styrofoam bullets, which stick to designated, smooth, flat target areas on the other animatronic figures. I move out of the way and take cover while the shootout is going on, not wanting to get hit by the bullets.

When the shootout is over, a large bunch of balloons comes floating toward me. I understand that it’s to transport me back to the point where I entered the town. I take hold of the ribbons on the balloons and allow them to pick me up and float me over some buildings to another part of the town.

I touch down in front of some town official, possibly the mayor or the sheriff. He asks me, “What do you think of the town?”

“I think I’ll stay,” I answer. When I say this, what I mean by it is that I want to get a souvenir picture taken in period costume. There is a kiosk nearby where you can do this. I’m about to do it, but when I look at the signs on the kiosk, I see that the pictures cost $5.00 each. I don’t want to pay $5.00 for a photo, so I change my mind and turn away.

[Dreamskip.] I’m floating with my bunch of balloons again [I think], heading toward a theme park with a roller coaster. I’m thinking about how theme parks are architectural works of art, and should be appreciated as such.

[I waited too long to start writing this, so I don't really remember what happened between the end of that scene and the beginning of the next one, nor do I remember how or why I became lucid.]

I'm in the entrance corridor of a big, fancy office building with a beautifully decorated interior. In front of me is a long wall with a door in it, and a sign next to the door indicating that these are the offices of a financial company. I know that it's a subsidiary of another company, and that it's in charge of the other company's finances.

I think, Okay. I'm going to try to walk through a wall again. I start walking forward, thinking about that goal. I begin to pass through the wall, and the room on the other side becomes visible. I continue moving forward. Even when I've gone far enough that I should be all the way through, I can still see parts of the ornately-decorated wall; they linger in my vision, semi-transparent and seeming to stick with me, like the strands of a spiderweb stick to you when you walk through it. I think, Just keep going forward. They'll go away, and you'll get through. You can do it. I keep moving forward, and the last strands of the afterimage of the wall finally fall away behind me, leaving me standing in the financial offices. There's no tactile sensation this time, though, unlike in my previous lucid dream when I went through the car door; this time, I don't feel anything at all from the wall. I'm happy and proud that I've finally walked through a wall without leaving a hole in it.

I wander through the financial offices a bit. There are employees of the company there, walking around, going about their everyday work. I think, I'm invisible and inaudible to them. Or, if I am visible, I just look like another employee. Somehow, I just know intuitively that one or the other of these things is true.

Eventually, I end up in front of another long wall, this one made of mirrors. [I don't remember now how I got from one scene to the next.] When I find myself in front of this wall of mirrors, I think, Now that I've figured out how to walk through walls, I'd like to try out another dream ability. I wonder if I can create a portal. Remembering what I read in somebody’s DJ here on DreamViews, I use my right index finger to trace a circle on the mirror-wall. [I don't know what exactly made me pick this destination, but] In my thoughts, I pick “heaven” as the destination that I want to be on the other side of the portal. When I'm finished drawing the circle, the area inside it doesn't transform into a portal; instead, it swings inward, like a door on a hinge. I go through the doorway.

The doorway is on one of the short sides of a rectangular room. The floor, walls, and ceiling of the room are all the same dark, metallic slate-gray color. At the opposite end of the room is a raised stage, also that same color, and on the stage is a smaller-than-life-size, cartoon lion. He's very definitely alive, though, and I know who he is immediately. I kneel down on the floor where I am and exclaim, “My Lord Aslan!” [Hmm. Well. That's reassuring.]

[I don't really remember how I got to the next scene. I remember attempting to create another portal and finding only darkness on the other side of the circular door because I hadn't been thinking of any particular destination, but I don't remember whether that was before or after the above scene. In any case, here's the next scene that I do remember.]

I'm now outside the building I was in before, walking across a grassy field. I happen to glance down at my feet and notice that I'm barefoot, and that I appear to have an unusually large number of toes, sticking out at odd angles and overlapping each other in unnatural ways, just like my fingers sometimes do when I look at them in dreams. I look down again, and this time I see that I have eight toes in a neat row on my left foot. It makes me smile to discover that toes can exhibit the same odd behavior as fingers in dreams.

I'm very pleased with my achievements so far tonight, but no other ideas for new abilities to try out come to mind, and the sky and the grass are so inviting, so I decide to fly. I kick off the ground with my right foot and take off. I find myself being forced backward by some unseen, unidentified force, just as I have many times before when I've started flying. I move my fists into the position I learned from my dream dad in my previous lucid, with my left fist close to my chest and my right one further away from my body, and move them back and forth relative to each other, trying to use that new technique I'd just learned to gain control over my flying. It works. I stop feeling the unseen force, and begin flying forward.

[That’s the last I remember of my dream.]

I woke up and found myself still in sleep paralysis. I didn’t feel any vibrations this time, though; it just felt like my arms and legs were really heavy, and like I couldn’t move them even if I tried. I waited a few seconds before moving my arms from their position up over my head. I didn’t even remember putting them there before falling asleep. A few minutes later, the feeling goes away.

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Side notes:

I get to check another goal off my list of lucid-dreaming goals! Yay! I really look forward to continuing to improve my intangibility skills. Now that I've more or less gotten the hang of going through things, my new big goal is to get good at defining, creating, and getting into dream environments of my choice.