side notes

First I am involved in a paint-ball fight in the middle of a mall. Unfortunately, I suddenly remembered I left my gun back at home, so I had to run from the blaze of gun fire while unable to defend myself. I don't remember much more than that.

_________

I am walking through the first level of a 2 level mall, and I am following my parents through it. I start to stare at a symbol on a marble wall that was isolated in the middle of the mall. Although I "knew" I was not in a dream (haha or so I thought), I decided to try and do a reality check on the metal symbol on the marble wall. I looked away and looked back at the symbol 3 times, and it did change small details about it.

"Holy shit, am I dreaming!? But it feels too real to be a dream, everything looks somewhat normal..." I told myself

I decided to try and see if I was dreaming by aiming my arm at an object on the second level in the mall, and tried to make it explode with my mind. Nothing... I guess I am not dreaming. One more RC to see if I am.

So, I chose to close my nose with my fingers to see if I was able to breath still. I was, but it felt like I was barely able to. It felt like there was a small crack that my fingers didn't cover that allowed me to breath a bit, and it seemed realistic to me at the time. So, I decided I was not dreaming in the end...

As the dream continued and any lucidity left was completely gone, I walked up to the symbol I was doing RCs on before and took it down. I continued to walk around the mall with my parents with the large metal awkward looking symbol in my hand. I remember that I continued to do RCs on it through the rest of the dream, but the symbol changed very little every time. Thus, no lucid.

Note: Next time I am not sure whether the RC was successful or not, continue to use different RCs until I am positive I am in or not in a dream...

I am sitting at my desk playing some type of modern modern version of the old Asteroids game when I realize I am wearing sunglasses. I take off the sunglasses and put them down on the desk only to look back up and realize they are still on my face. I take them off again but this time i reach up with my other hand and feel my face. Then I suspected that I was dreaming so I did a reality check and became lucid.
Remembering my goal, (a first!) I get up and go out into the hallway. I fly up through the ceiling and wake up.



Notes: The reason I couldnt remove the sunglasses is probably because of changing light levels, though I have never had that happen before... Unfortunately I didnt achieve my goal in this dream but at least I remembered it before I woke up!

January to June Tags

I've neglected my dream journal.

I want to keep track of how my tags change over time, if they do. So this post is just to list my tags for early 2010.

Water. Flying. Dream-Skill. Strange-DC. Nature. Violence. Transform. Chase-dream. Reality-Check. Monsters. Adventure. School. Amazing-sky. Dream-wheel. Darkness. Window. Work. End-of-world. Foreign-place. Mind-invasion. Liberating-dcs. Dark-presence. Forgotten-convo. Vivid. Communication. Portal. Strong-emotion. Spiral. Time. . . . .

Ok I'm going to write two nights here.

1. I dreamed I was insane. I reacted calmly. I was in a bathroom and was about to get on with a hot woman when like 2-3 guys ran in and started hitting me. Then they vanished and I realized they were imaginary.
Later in the dream I walked into a building. It was sort of like a school. I walked left up to some stairs. I stopped and got lucid. I talked to myself and reminded me "I'm dreaming". I saw a black man in his middle age. He was like a DG or similar. He talked to me. He said like "Your subconsciousness is up there, in here... and inside you" (he made gestures with his hands). I became more lucid and my vision zoomed in a bit and everything got more vivid and I got dizzy. Then I had to go up and fight some characters to get rid of my craziness. I won. I woke up and didn't move. I thought about the dream. Then I moved and I felt a wave of oblivion wash over the dream. I lost a lot of details like the characters for example.

I dreamed I sat outside my house and my neighbor stole some gas from my moped. Then some kids played hide and seek near my yard. I went inside and found my mom in there. She told me that her mom had taken her life. I hugged her and started thinking about my grandma and got some tears in my eyes. Then I woke up and my eyes were a bit wet. I felt relieved.

2. War city and going to parties.
Later I got lucid. I was at a china town looking street where I had been before in the dream. I think I sat in a car and got a ride up the street. There were people outside. I've thought about dream control and I was going to make things feel natural, as flying feels natural to me. I reached out with my arm and started waving my hand slowly, feeling a big invisible force strike at the people. I could see that they reacted on something pushing them. I don't know what to call this power but I guess it's a ghost force hand for now.

I'm excited that I've made some progress in dream control.

Stuff to Do

There's a few things I want to do in future lucids to increase quality and vividness. I thought I'd post them in here to remind myself. The main one is to find more natural methods of dream control than forcing my visualizations into existence in the dream world. In the sweet WILD I had earlier, there were a few times where I tried to change scene, or get someone to appear, purely by trying to see them. It kind of half-worked, but I lost a lot of focus on the entire dream world, and the results were pretty poor. (One example was a ghost-like, ugly girl who appeared instead of a hot girl I was after- her face also distorted a few times)

I guess the results were so bad because my imaginative facilities were already in full use with rendering an entire world. That could be why it's hard to visualise things in your head in dreams- everything is already in your head, we can't have a "dream imagination" without the subject of our imagination coming into existence... can we? Anyway, if I maybe used some more logic-friendly control methods, I could get clearer results.

28.01.2010

Forgotten DEILD (DEILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

this morning, I remember doing a DEILD. However, I can't remember the dream itself! I was lying on my left side, visualising a dreamscape I had just left- a grassy gnoll near my dad's house.

I was comfortably in the stage where I was actually "seeing" the scene rather than just imagining it, and I thought to myself,
"Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about," before my memory goes blank.


Warning: tangent...

This got me thinking about how the brain creates our reality. Now I'm no neuroscientist, but that doesn't stop me hypothesizing! When we see things, sensory information is sent from the eye to the brain, where the brain processes it all, allowing us to "see". But when we are recieving little/no sensory input (ie during sleep), surely the brain can still do its processing? In fact, I think the senses are not completely essential for the creation of a reality by the brain. When I was trying to DEILD, it felt like I was "seeing". Of course, my real eyes weren't involved at all, the scene was created from my imagination. The brain will still be firing the same neurons, doing the same processing as it would if it was getting the input from my eyes rather than my imagination. I highly doubt this is making any sense at all, hopefully someone knows what I'm getting at, even if I can't word it...

I guess my concluding thought would be: how different are dreams from reality? A quotation from Morpheus springs to mind,
"If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain."

A majority of this dream consisted of being a part of a sports team and the night before a big game the next day. I could not find the place to get my room key for a long time so I traveled all over to find it with no luck. I run into a family friend who is talking about me and embarrassing me while making a toast extremely intoxicated in the lobby. I am late getting into my room and look around it for a while.

_______

I am outside and it has been snowing. There are thousands of people playing in it, and I spot some of my friends who have laid down a tarp so that we could slide down a hill on it. I try it but I get stuck. I look around, the snow is gone, and everyone else who was playing in the snow is gone. I was by myself on the tarp.

_______

We are on a boat somewhere in a jungle and in the woods. A man spots a coyote out to me and a person sitting next to me in the boat.

"You know, coyotes get eaten by wolves all the time" The man sitting next to me says.

________

I am in a van, all of a sudden the van stops, and the sliding door opens up. I get up off my seat and am about to step on the ground, until I look closer at the asphalt and notice it is moving like a liquid would. All of a sudden something clicks and I realize I am dreaming.

After I become lucid, I hop down and get on all fours to kickstart a full transformation into a timber wolf so I can accomplish one of my lucid goals. The transformation, however, brought incredible pain to my face where the wolf snout was being contorted and broken outwards from my face. The pain was so unbearable that I thought I may have been feeling the pain in my real life body in bed while I was LDing, so I got spooked and forced myself to wake up before the transformation was even finished.

Notes: Pain has been occurring randomly with my transformations now. Going to have to find a way to either not get spooked and deal with the pain, or take a "pain killer" before I begin a transformation from now on.

Starts out with bringing an extremely attractive gothic girl into my bedroom to watch TV. We are laying in bed when suddenly her clothes come off and she is lying naked beside me. I begin kissing her chest, and neck, and things start to get intimate. All of a sudden she starts crying, however, her tears are jet black (looked like pen ink). The black tears are smeared all over her naked body and the bed in which we were laying in. I try to console her the best I can, however, nothing seems to be working.

Fast-forwards to an airport (dream sign!?). The very attractive gothic girl is by my side, and she begins running through the terminal as fast as she could while clutching onto my hand.

"Why are we running?" I ask.

"That guy!" She said as she screams and pointed towards a blonde haired guy in a red shirt and jeans with a dozen or so knives in his hand chasing us at full speed. Next thing I know, the man who is now chasing us is hurling his knives. I hear one or two wizz by head. Thats when something clicked in my head.

"I am dreaming!"

I decide to take the frightening situation into my own hands. I stop running, and do an RC with a DC that was wearing a green shirt with words on it, just to make sure of it. The DC whom I was staring at gave me an evil eye as I did an RC by looking at the words on his shirt and looking back at them. Yep, I was definitely dreaming.

I turn around and stare at the man who was chasing me with throwing knives, and hold my ground. The man stopped running at a distance, and stared for a second before he hurled a knife at my stomach. While surprising myself at the same time, I quickly snag the knife out of the air before it was even close to touching me. I then break it in half in attempt to further scare the DC who was hurling knives. Now that I knew I was in complete control of my dream I was furious with this DC and could not wait to punish him for scaring the shit out of me.

I sprinted full speed at the blonde haired DC and grabbed his throat with my hand and lifted him as high as I could off the ground. The DC who was now showing signs of choking and helplessness was flailing in the air as he dangled at the mercy of my raised arm. I forced the transformation of only my head this time to become a wolf, so I could continue to hold him in the air as I revealed my weapons to kill the DC. After my head had completely undergone the transformation, I put my muzzle up to his now helpless face as close as I could without touching him, and bared my wolf teeth and growled as loud as I could. Then, all of a sudden the dream world began getting hazy and fuzzy, and felt my real self in bed as I awoke.

Notes: Another dream sign that could help me attain lucidity is airports, have seen them a lot in my DJs. I also need to continue to work on immediately attempting to spin or rub my hands to remain lucid and not wake up. LDs have not been lasting too long lately...

Goodbye ex:

My ex called me and said she wanted to come over and say goodbye before she moved to another state. She came over really dressed up in a blue dress. We went up to my room and she said she still had a lot of feelings for me and still loved me. I was kind of horny and agreed with her so I could sleep with her. I reached up her dress and laid her on the bed. I said she smelt kind of bad and decided not to sleep with her.

Weird stuff:
My recording said that this was an add on to another dream meaning that I recorded a previous dream prior to this one. I think that might have been a false awakening because I don't have a previous dream entree that matches this one.
I was at my house and Michael and my uncle were sleeping downstairs. Michael called me and said he was at a club and my grandpa was sleeping downstairs.

dream fragment:
Michael and I met a couple of girls and took them to my house. We were all joking around and flirting. I remember I had a really nice guitar in my hand and was pretending to play it really well.

Shared dream attempt:
Henesie and I were attempting to have a shared dream tonight. We called each other at 4:30 am to wake each other up and wish good luck.
I had a FA where she called me and said she failed to WILD. She said she was really frustrated and that she is going to give up on having LD's. I told her not to worry because I also failed and decided to turn around and just go to bed because of my allergies.

Training the cat:
Kalee and Lindsey were at my house in my room. I was getting pissed at them because they kept making a mess. I kicked them out of my room and told them to go downstairs. I was in my room with my dog and a random cat. The cat kept scratching bella. I help the cat down by its hands and attempted to train it. Every time it would try to bit or scratch me I would slam it against the wall. Eventually I threw the cat out the window . I went downstairs and kalee was still making a mess. I kicked her out of my house. I went to the computer downstairs in the office and played some games.

Acid trip:

I took some acid in the morning. I went into my woods on a sunny day. Everything was really bright. I had some weird hallucinations of ants trying to attack me. I was scared of having a bad trip so I remained calm the whole time. A couple of times I thought I was going to get attacked, but I remained calm and nothing happened. I wandered over to a random stream and looked at how beautiful the water was.


it seems as if most of my dreams are becoming less crazy and more logical. Most of them are happening at my house or at karas house. I need to start doing reality checks in my house and when I see kara, michael, or lindsey

I am sitting inside a restaurant across from someone I don't know, I am inside an apartment that isn't mine, I walk outside onto a balcony but instead of a staircase on my left, (which is how I expected it to be) there is another door in front of me. I panic, and do an RC. I become lucid and fly down.
I yell back towards the apartment that I am having a lucid dream. Now I am in a car. I complain that the car is too slow and fly out. Now I am outside the restaurant and getting in a different car.


Notes: When I woke up a realized that the lucid dream had ended the minute I chose to fly down from the balcony, from then on it was no longer a lucid dream, simply a flying dream.
In the future, I will try to remember this before doing anything when I become lucid, maybe I will rethink things and make a better choice about what to do with the dream

Slept between 1:00a-9:30a

1:00a-5:30a
Meaningful portals
"This guy obviously does think my portals are meaningful," is what I have wrote. I can't, for the life of me, remember what this was about!

5:30-8:30
Set sail!
A friend was sailing around the world, in her boat, the South America. Her boat was painted a hideous colour of stark white with a child-like painting of South America on the bottom of her boat. I was looking at this design from underneath the water (I was under water, looking upwards). She was telling us about the tricky maneuvering she had to do to get into the docks at London, because she'd accidentally come in "backwards."

8:30-9:30a
Interesting house design, again
This house in my dream was supposed to be the house I currently live in. But it got quite warped up in the dream.
Starts out with me in my room. Bobbi (from work) is showing me my closet. She's quite proud of how she reorganized it. I don't really notice anything, other than hanging clothes, so I fake-enthusiastically say, "I really like it, thanks!" She goes on to tell me how all my bras are colour-coordinated with my tank tops. So she has done... She's paired a blue tank with an orange bra, pink bra with a green tank, etc.

[Grandma's dodgy basement trap door]
My dad wants to show me this interesting project Grandma was working on. She built a new way into the basement. I figured a new staircase, but then my dad opens up a panel out of the floor, in the main floor bathroom. He's trying to turn the light on, via pull-string, but the light appears to not want to turn on (obvious universal dream sign, missed!). Oh well, we don't need the light, anyways. All you have to do is use the same pull string to swing down through the trap door...

[Basement tenant and the new kitchen]
I'm hanging out in the basement with my parent's tenant. She's the girl who helped me cancel my gym membership IRL, yesterday.

"Did you realize just how many staircases there are in this place?" she asks.

"Well, I knew there were a couple," I say. She shows me this new one I don't recognize. I go up it, and I discover this dark kitchen area, that's been completely untouched for 13 years (and remarkably lacking any dust). The counters are a lovely wood and marble, the sink is huge, and I see a white stove with that smooth surface rather than burners. I think to myself that mum must've known about this kitchen, since she bought the new stove to go in here when she bought the black one for her main kitchen...

I realized that this kitchen should be mine! Now that the tenant knows about this place, she'll want to use it... How to get her to want to leave, though?

My Warcraft buddy, Gerakis, appears with a plan. He rigs up this stuffed toy to somehow become covered in raw red meat, and then tosses it to the tenant's dog (a shih-tzu), who is happily nomming (and growling) on the toy in the vent space next to her room, while she is trying to sleep. She complains it's too loud for her to sleep. Excellent...

I woke up here.

Hm... had lots of dreams in the last two weeks or so. I'll just post notes of what I remember.

~Big skeletal demon monster things chasing my friends and I through a library, and then down a road.
~People around, and one guy turned into a purple... I don't know; it had wings. Then some evil person was trying to kill him, but they couldn't.

~I'm a vampire, walking through an unfamiliar house. There's one or two other people there with me. The house was either very dirty or tinted green, or both.
~In a classroom with some teacher who thinks my name is Alice. A group of guys bust in out of nowhere and the teacher goes, "Oh, are you finally going to give her an igloo?" The guys hand me a little one on a string with a TV inside it.
~I'm a vampire, in a big field shaped like a bowl. There are animals all around me. I run superfast out into a town and find a nice car, which I then proceed to crash into things because the brakes aren't working. I find a group of people after a while and say, "Does this car belong to any of you?" A guy stands up, looks at the wrecked vehicle, and goes, "YES!!!!!" Later I go back to the field, and there's a huge tornado that I barely get away from. It sucks up the car, though. The tornado was upside-down looking, almost exactly like this picture, only the sky was darker.

~A false awakening: I "woke up" listening to my MP3 player, which was playing commercials. I thought nothing of it and I can't remember the rest of the dream.
~~~~
Bah, there are so many others, and now that I'm trying to type them I can't remember them.

In one part of my dreams tonight I was running inside. I was doing some parkour which I don't think I would be able to do IWL. I ran it several times. Then I noticed I didn't get that exhausted and a voice in my head continued the thought with "because it's a dream." and it took me a second to realize it. I ran in the first part of the course. It was a long corridor. Because I knew it was a dream I started running as fast as I could and faster than that. I forgot to stabilize :/ I think I stopped and tried to create energy balls in my right hand. I closed it and opened it. I closed my eyes and opened them but then I was in my bed. I don't know if it was a FA and I fell asleep again.

I find it interesting that my dream control is so much better when I'm not lucid. For now.

#943:
Date: July 5th, 2010
Length: 3 minutes

I'm with my family, on a trip, aboard a sort of hybrid tour bus / buggy, with some hispanic guy as the driver. Apparently we're being driven to wherever we're staying (I'm not sure what country this is supposed to be in). After a while, we end up in some kind of off-road area with uneven terrain. The bus reaches a sharp sort of incline, and starts tilting massively. After a few seconds, the bus tips over entirely, and we go barreling down a hill. I try to protect myself as best I can as I get thrown around, but thankfully the bus seems almost designed for such situations and absorbs the shocks fairly well. Eventually, we stop rolling, and everyone is alright.

A while later, we're still on the bus, and see a huge ravine ahead of us. The driver makes some kind of weird turn, but messes up and we start falling. We crash on a sort of small chunk of land a couple feet below, where dozens more cars are stacked up, indicating that many people have crashed here before. Thankfully we stop just before the bus can fall into the ravine. We quickly get out through an emergency exit, afraid that the bus will lose its balance and fall. I think my dad yells at the driver for his performance so far. After that, the dream is a bit strange. My surroundings sort of morph into a hotel room, and I recall trying to retrieve our luggage from the bus.



I also had some dream where I was in an elevator that went EXTREMELY fast up and down a 71-story building, and I was scared that it would break.

ANOTHER night of terrible recall. It took me half an hour just to drag out of my mind the memory of not getting my summer homework done in time. There was also something about tearing a little creature figurine (a life-like one, with blood) apart with a small hook.

I remember a failed DEILD attempt, also. I made it into full SP, and I was thinking that I'd surely remember a lucid if I had one. Then it suddenly started feeling like a creature was attempting to claw its way out of my stomach. I knew it wasn't real, but it felt freaky as hell! I couldn't move, I couldn't struggle against the SP. I managed to stay calm, though. I lost consciousness shortly afterwards.