side notes

Yesterday I was lazy and didn't write up what I did the day. It was quite a normal day where I walk to the gym in the morning, walking back home, sits behind my computer, maybe goes out and shoot photos etc. I really don't remember what I did yesterday except for that I went to the gym and sat behind the computer as I do daily. I had a fragment yesterday though, but too lazy writing it up, I can do it here instead: I was playing some game that my gf started (it's some girly game that I am also member on too), and I had some trading cards with codes in order to get stuffs in the games, and I was asking her if she needed any and gave the codes/cards she didn't have (those she needed). That's it.

Well, today it's been quite different day.

I went to bed 02:00, with notes on my physical dream journal: "I dreaming, remember that!".
Woke up with no recalls.
Had alarm set to 08:00, and second alarm on 09:00, woke up both times. At 09:00 I rested in bed an half hour to 09:30 when dad came into my room saying he is going away for like an hour, and that the internet seems to be down.
As he had told me yesterday we had planned to go snowmobile together, grill sausages outside etc.

I went up from bed and yeah.. now I remember that I forgot to make reality check at mornings (to prevent future false awakings).
Anyway, I went up from bed. Got clothes on me, turned on my laptop. Went to the office room and restarted internet. And yeah, internet was completely down, problems on ISP side I guess. But didn't bother doing anything.

Went to the bathroom. Afterwards I looked in the fridge, no quark I had left so I just took a glass of milk instead.
Then I went to the livingroom and played angry birds on my phone.
Dad came home some minutes later, he had been gone like 45 minutes.
We made us ready quite fast, went outside, started snowmobile and went away.
Drove quite far, about 20-25 km away, we grilled sausage over the camp fire we made.
After that done, we went back home another way, it was like 20 km back home (I was letting RunKeeper track it this time).
I drove about 90% of the way home.

Once at home, the internet was back up and I went on the computer for like an 30 minutes.
Then dad told me he will go stores and asked if I want to follow, I said I've planned to go the gym very soon, and he said he can give me a ride. So I packed my bag quickly and went with him. He dropped me off at the gym.
I worked out for an hour, about 40 minutes strength (biceps, chest, forearms and shoulders) and then 20 minutes cardio on bike.
My friend texted me and asked me if I want to follow shooting photos in the city. I said sure and he came into the city.
He had in mind to take photos inside the church, but it was closed (he had looked it up right before he went into the city).
We didn't know what to take photos of, I had my phone to take photos with only as I had my systemcamera home.
Thought of just drive back home, but my friend got idea to take photos in a building where they got library etc. The building I like most as I use to be there taking photos, be on the toilet (yeah they got the cleanest toilet in the city I believe).
We got half way home and he continued and said I can get my systemcamera with me. So we went home to me and got my systemcamera, and went back to the city.

Once in city we parked the car at a store, was free parking there.
We walked more into the city, passed by a skywalk where we shot some photos.
Then continued to the building we were going to. Went in there, up to the library, shot photos etc. I also went on the toilet as I had to do my needs.
After that, we walked back. Passed by the skywalk this time too, it was darker outside now and lights inside the skywalk was on now. Shot some more photos. Then we walked back to the car, and I got dropped off in front of my house.

Went in the house (my dads house), noticed my dads girlfriend and his son were here. Dad made food, he told me I can put on water for my spaghetti, so I did.
We ate dinner, I cleaned afterwards.

Went to my room, and sat down behind my computer. Just surfing around, lsitening to music, reading news, forums, and also fixed photos in photoshop. I always use Camera Raw, so I edit it through that, and I also tried make fake HDR photos. Posted them on Facebook in some group I am in, and also on my fansite that's about the city where I live, got some thousands likes on it (most are non-swedish and non-actives, but as one of my photo got lots of likes and sharings, the page got bigger and even more active), and about 12 people liked the photo so far, all in my city.

Anyway, I also went to store at like 20:40, I really felt like having some dr pepper. I know I told myself not to, but yeah.
Somehow I am not in great mood and feels like I don't give a *beep*.

I found a great song with great lyrics from Eminem. I think I never heard it before, even though it seems to be old.
It's named Eminem - Rock bottom
I love the lyrics and song.

Well, that's like my day today. Soon time's 00:00 here, and then a new day is here.


Tomorrow my plan is to wake up like 11am as latest, but I will probly wake up 10am if not before that. Then I will make 2x90g hamburgers for sure. And I will also bring with me the rest I got to my girlfriend that I might go to between time 1pm - 5pm. It's rest day from gym tomorrow.

Shoot I moved too early! I had it! Grr!!!

Something would not be so good for people if not something.(?)

This seemed like a fragment of a REM dream, watched like a movie with a moral to the story, but what was it?

Notes: I had the worst time getting getting to sleep (again), even though I'd taken some sleeping pills. I ended up remembering some fragments anyway (enough to put them in my dream palace at least), so I thought I'd go ahead and type them up today (unlike yesterday when I couldn't even put my dreams into words, much less imagery - ugh).

By now I already know I can hold a lot of information in my memory palace (I'm at 121+) and I have three dream "clusters" stored (I link all the dreams into one chunk each, so that's three days worth of dreams), so I'm thinking of removing dreams as I type them up here at DV, unless they are particularly memorable.

These are all muddled so I'm just going to type them as one - but they may be separate dreams. When I woke up, there was already no order to them.

---

I'm looking at Alistair and Zevran from Dragon Age: Origins on my computer, and dad comes up behind me. I flip through an image of one of their abs. We have a conversation about them that leads to dad calling one of them a 'she' (I think there was a picture of them together?), and I hesitate and start to let him think that, because he's against homosexuality, but in the end I stand firm and say "they're both guys". I think he says that it's fine.

Side-note: In one of my loci, for remembering dad's phone number, I have my dad coming up to me and commenting on a porn scene on my screen - I wonder if that caused this dream? :O

A little later, I'm doing something and I hear mom yell at dad, "Your religion is so sexist!". I hate when they fight in real life, but I was pretty into what I was doing and didn't seem to care in the dream.

I have this man watching over a website of mine apparently, and I am in the room with him (maybe checking in). I look at one of the pages, and see that it's full of inaccurate Japanese. I express my dismay and exasperation.

I believe the scene changes here a bit - me and a/the man are talking amiably, but at the same time we both know that we're just pretending for the sake of 'my sister' (I can't remember if she's in the room at the beginning, but she isn't in this next bit).

We give up the pretense and talk about the task I have to go do, because the man is a demon who was put with my sister to have a hostage. I'm not worried that when I leave, he'll hurt her, but still a thought comes up from somewhere above my dream character - "Won't he hurt her while I'm gone anyway?"

My aunt is leaving the house with a black camera, and I'm like, "oh, is that to get a better reading on the Japanese?". Mom, standing somewhere to the right, gets a mischievous look on her face. There's a few bits I couldn't remember.

A trans* char (FTM I think?) was talking to someone in a room about what if someone they liked found out. Later, they're talking to that person and it turns out that he heard the conversation through the vents and knew, and was fine with it. He had blond hair. It's possible that DC!me from the demon part was trans* too and the demon had an inkling?

I dreamed that just like when getting ice cream in grocery shopping counting it as food is a cheat, similarly dreams are a treat not art of a basic food group.

I think this dream was not really about ice cream as a metaphor for dreams, but rather it was a grumpy response from part ofe to the rest ofe saying that dreams are fun like ice cream but just like it they are optional and not essential. I think this dream may have been from the point of view of the part of me that does not want to put in the effort into remembering dream fragments: the foolish lazy part as most of me thinks of it.

Dreams are like fast cars for others. My dreaming mind added the "for others caveat" since I am not one to enjoy race car driving in waking life. Though I might enjoy it in a dream. I do not consider myself a good driver, though I am certainly competent enough, and I do need to drive every day. Just like we are inside airplanes we are inside cars. I am often in the drivers seat though given a choice I prefer my husband to drive - yes, this is probably not the best metaphor for me. More self-esteem issues around driving. Although even pancakes have some self-esteem issues for me: I feel my mother-in-law makes much better ones than I do.

I dreamed that dreams are like pancakes.

How are pancakes like dreams? I shape my dreams and cook them. They may start out shapeless and liquidy, but them they solidify like magic. When I eat my dreams, they become part of myself. Dreams are often circular: no end and no beginning, and often repeat. One can toss a pancake in the air, and watch it float like a magic carpet in a dream. Most people like pancakes/dreams. Just like a pancake may have blueberries or something else in it, a dream may hide a gem worth discovering. You pour syrup over a pancake to make is taste better and sweeter, and at times we disguise our dreams to be more palatable to ourselves. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and yet we hurry through it, and dreaming can similarly have a crucial often insufficiently recogniZed importance. My dreams spiritually nourish and sustain me. I do not have time to make pancakes except for on the weekend, and part of my mind has been fighting the dream recall effort as too much for everyday life. Just like pancakes dreams are shaped by culture (different international variations), there are family recipes, and individuals can experiment with making their own variations. Each of us can have our own pancakes, but it is possible to share a pancake (and many people claim one can share a dream). Even my picky water younger son likes pancakes, and dreams can appeal to everyone.

This is my third metaphor for dreams in my dreams: fish, airplanes, and pancakes. Unlike fish airplanes soar free instead of being confined by self-censorship to an aquarium, but unlike airplanes pancakes become part of me and are not up there but close at hand. Fish are slippery, airplanes and solid, and pancakes not so much - one can shape a pancake, whereas an airplane comes in a certain shape and cannot be actively changed. One can consume fish and pancakes (sort of like the biblical spiritual food of fishes and loaves of bread) whereas airplanes consume one. Will I let my predefined dreams consume me, or will I through dream interpretation and later through lucid dreaming redefine my dreams and incorporate them into myself? I am hoping for the later. I want to be in charge of my dreams! Though I am also in charge of my fish: I control every aspect of their environment in my fish tank - it is up to me whether they live and thrive or die. If I put in the effort and with proper knowledge I can control mg fish, though I may prefer to observe their antics instead and be surprised by what they teach me about nature. I can also control an airplane, but only if I am the pilot, not as a passenger in a commercial flight. Airplanes and dreams allow us to fly: something we humans long for. Pancakes are not as ordinary as they may appear, and baking pancakes or bread is an activity that shows greater sophistication, a higher level of culture - though airplanes are much more technologically advanced. Fish in the aquarium hobby appeal to aesthetics, whereas pancakes appeal to our taste buds - I am engaging a new sense here. Airplanes had added a louder sound, though fish tanks also have a sound component which is a white noise, but they ate not as loud as airplanes. Oh, and pancakes are much more mundane and approachable than airplanes: despite the potential for too much effort for every day pancakes, they could become an everyday food if I were motivated. Fish are part of my everyday life. Airplanes are not. Both fish and pancakes are something I am competent and capable at, whereas at least in waking lives I do not know airplanes on such a level and I rely on others to control (though in my dreams I could of course pilot an aircraft.

So, as stated, I lost focus for a short while, but after experiencing sleep paralysis once more, I will be redoubling my efforts.

I need to stay on track and focused.

I did dream, but lost recall. Went to sleep listening to binural beats (Theta), may have felt a little bit of sleep paralysis, but nothing further.

I dreamed several dreams, and woke between each.

*side notes
*gaining lucidity
*lucid

#1 - I was having difficulty doing something. That's all I remember. Dream fragment.

Woke. Did Reality Check. Attempted WILD; failed, fell asleep.

#2 - I am in a house. I'm looking for a bathroom. There's no bathroom, because I didn't have enough in-game gold to buy an expansion. I discover that some of the red and white scented candles I've been buying were made by my cousin. He's been lying about having a regular desk job.

Woke, used bathroom. Reality Check. Attempted WILD; failed, fell asleep.

#3 - A wife and husband are fighting over their finances. The husband is unemployed or doesn't make much money, and the wife is burnt out and tired of working overtime to completely support them. The wife decides to make adult videos, and her best friend offers to help her. Her husband finds out and is extremely upset.

Woke. Rolled over and fell asleep.
#4:
I dream that I am riding a bus through a sweeping countryside. It appears that I am somewhere in New Zealand. The landscape is mountainous and verdant. It has just rained, the sky is full of gorgeous, radiant clouds, and it's is very beautiful (note: sweeping landscapes after a storm are actually one of my dreamsigns)

It begins to storm violently, and I'm up in the mountains. I am both riding and driving the bus. It's storming like crazy, and the mountain road is winding and dangerous. I'm high up in the mountains now, going over a narrow bridge. The choppy water has risen to the very bottom of the bridge, and it churns dangerously. The bus hydroplanes, loses control, veers off the bridge. The bus is now an old cadillac. The bus now disappears from around me as I enter the water. Frigid water envelopes me as I sink, and places immense pressure on my body; I debate fighting it, or merely letting myself sink. I allow myself to be pulled under and away with the current.

I wake up on a bus. I don't wake up on a bus; I am driving a car. I'm going to pick up a friend's dad. My friend is a chubby blond teenager wearing a Hulk Hogan shirt. We pick up his dad at a fast food restaurant that looks like McDonald's. He jokes about us being a software development team. He is actually a developer, himself. He looks really tired, and I ask him if he's been pulling long hours. He says, "Yes, and driving is a challenge. I'm practically cross-eyed." He decides to check his voicemail and starts swearing; apparently, his boss/team lead is asking for a whole bunch of ridiculous stuff that he can't possibly do on such a short deadline.

I wake up on a bus. I have stretched out across the seats, and a little girl is commenting to her mother that I'm taking up too much space. I try to pull myself up into a fetal position to free up more seats. My friend and his dad are also on the bus. The landscape is the one as described before; the sweeping New Zealand landscape.

I wake up and feel a bit irritated that my prior attempts at WILD have failed. I see light seeping in through my bedroom window and am a bit upset that it appears to be so close to morning. I'm also irritated that I didn't pick up on my most obvious dream sign.

I fail to do a Reality Check. In retrospect, my bedroom window was INCORRECT. The curtain wasn't there. I shrug it off, telling myself that it's just another chance to try to WILD again. I settle down in bed (note: I am fairly certain this was a FA and I am actually trying to WILD from my FA, which is kind of hilarious because it actually works)


#5 (?) -
I begin to see something forming in front of me, very blurry - it is a field of large, smooth pebbles. I decide that it looks somewhat like a beach, or is close enough to make into one. I try to make it solidify, but it fights me. I try to imagine it as part of a landscape, but it remains a flat plane - almost like a pattern. It is supposed to be the ground, I understand, but it takes up my entire field of vision.

I can feel it there - the dream is blurry, but it's forming. I don't want to lose it or lose consciousness, so I start actively trying to make it stabilize. I focus on the pebbles; they sharpen a bit, and then go all fuzzy again. I run my hands through the pebbles, then dive to the ground and shove my face into the pebbles. They're still fuzzy and immaterial, although I feel the ghosts of sensations from them. I enthusiastically rub my face back and forth in the pebbles. I feel like they're fading away and get upset, so in a moment of desperation, I lick the pebbles. They don't become any more material; they taste like grit and sawdust. I roll around on the ground like an idiot, grabbing handfuls of the ground and rubbing it into my face. I feel and smell dead leaves. Suddenly, there are dead leaves mixed into the pebbles.

I look up. There's more landscape forming! I see fuzzy green. I feel like this is like the edge of a lake or swimming hole. I stumble to my feet and pick leaves out of my hair.

The world suddenly solidifies, as my lucids often do - everything goes from a blurry mess to absolute perfect clarity. I am now on the edge of a small lake or swimming hole, on an artificial beach. I'm at a cook out!

There are tons of people milling around. The dad from my prior dream is grilling food, and there are a bunch of fat guys in tank tops drinking beer out of a cooler. There is a little girl in a purple swim suit playing with the sand. She has a toy shovel and those little plastic sand castle molds, and she's making a castle. She has white-blonde hair that curls in little ringlets around her ears, and blue eyes. She looks like she's maybe 3 or 4, and she's adorable. There is also a black and white Border Collie lying on a red and white checkered blanket next to a guy in a t-shirt and his kids. The dog is panting, because it's hot outside.

The swimming hole has a tall, metal slide where you can slide into the water. The sky above, unlike 99% of my lucids, is vivid blue and brilliantly clear - this is a hot summer day, probably July or even August.

I clap my hands together and yell out loud "YES! Finally!" I immediately run up to the dog and pet her. Her fur is thick and somewhat coarse. I scratch between her ears. She's very friendly, and enjoys the attention. As I scratch her behind the ears, I recall my lucid task.

"I need to destroy something right away!" I tell the dog. I had decided on Simple Task I, which was to destroy an object by any means.

I look around. One of the first things I see is the little girl's sand castle mold, but even thought she's a dream character I feel kind of bad about that. I see a plastic drinking cup with Vash the Stampede on the side of it (I haven't watched anime since the 90s, I don't know where that came from) but decide it's too solid/not interesting. There's an array of picnic stuff - plates, cookware, food, etc. I settle on the one thing that I feel is out of place: an empty carton of half & half.

I point at it and try to make it explode. Nothing happens. I get angry and pick it up and throw it, yelling, "This is MY dream!" It still does not explode. I chase after it, scoop it up, and tear it into several pieces. I begin to throw the pieces at the two fat guys who are sitting in plastic lawn chairs and drinking beer. They think this is hilarious.

I hear the little girl calling to me from behind me. She is running toward me, waving a huge syringe. One of those big, scary-looking ones they use to inject things into your rump. It's almost as big as she is (and for some reason, empty). I laugh and launch myself into the air, hovering above her. She runs around below me, waving the syringe. I rise higher into the air, using swimming motions, and taunt her. She begins to climb the ladder to the slide, which has now somehow gotten higher and scarier-looking and is turning into a bridge.

The dream fades, and I wake up. It is 3 a.m., which means that it couldn't have possibly been light outside last time I woke up.

This entry has several stages and from now on each will be coded as follows:

Notes/thoughts

Lucid

Non-Lucid

So I woke up about 2 15 in the morning. Was a bit cold and i realized i woke up because i was wheezing. I took out my inhaler and took two puffs. After that my nose became completely stuffed up and it was highly uncomfortable and difficult for me to fall asleep. After about an hour i decided to try an idea to un-stuff my nose. All i did was stick my thumb in one of my nostrils and after a few seconds i released and i could breathe comfortably for a while. Did this about 3 times before it was finally completely unblocked. I then fell asleep.

I was in my room and my step dad was their and it seems we were arguing about something. He said something about me not doing well in school so i shouldn't want anything. Anyway i left him to his banter and as i approached the door i realized i was floating. I noticed and became lucid. So i floated to the top left corner of my room and decided to stay there and let him talk. After a few minutes I came down and floated through the doorway. I then went to my sis room and i saw my bigger sister who doesn't live here anymore. Anyway everything in this room was floating and my bearings got wild and it to a while to regain control. it was like i was Astral Projecting. All my dream re-entries and FA used to start this way.I've never APed before though. I decided to leave as there was not much to be done. Suddenly as I was going through the doorway i had an epiphany about TK that involved some kind of mental click. As i floated through the door I decided to close it behind me with TK. I thought of it, willed it, felt it and that's when the click came. The door closed as i left. This got me really exited. Sill APing I decided to go outside by phasing through the roof. At first I convinced myself but then at the last minute there was doubt. So instead of going through I ended up stretching the roof from the inside out as i tried to pass through. After a while I noticed it wasn't working and decided to go through the barred gate. With ease I phased through. *FACEPALM* It was that easy, DON'T THINK and you'll pass through.
On the other side I went up to the roof I saw three girls explaining to me something about dealing with your feelings and the moon. One of them flew up to it and attached a piece as she demonstrated how it work. I then made the moon turn and could it's backside. it was three dimensionally flat if you now what i mean. After that Night turned to Day as i jumped down from the roof. and landed somewhere near a beach. before i jumped down though i thought of going to Rome and saw A giant cruise ship and then a guy pulling up in a boat on the sand.Hmm which should I choose?? Damn that boats so cool It can sail on sand!!!So i headed for the boat but as i advanced i saw a guy from school called Brian. He was chubby and I really didn't want to interact with him now. Click! He was up in the air then smashed in the sand. Went for a second round and I ended up breaking his spine and he died. Some how a few seconds later he came back to life. I got fed up. Click! He was tossed somewhere to my left where i couldn't see.Poor him, caught me in my TK mode I proceeded to the boat and as i did Day turned to Night and made a comment about not sailing at night. Something dangerous. So I decided to explore the realm and made off on a sand road behind me.

After this there was a fragment involving a lot of TK usage and me trying out my new energy disc technique but it failed. So instead of reaching behind my back and throwing 6 inch diameter energy discs i threw two inch energy beans. After that frag, i was caught in another which was more sexual. i rarely have dreams without sex.

Now I was walking down a road with light blue walls on either side. I stopped and started thinking about what tasks to pursue now. Two came to mind: 1) The advanced TOTM about the notes which I already set in place and, 2) Part 1/7 TOTY fight to the death in a Colosseum. I looked back at the town, home was too far away. I turned back and continued walking.
"What's the fastest way to Rome" I asked my friend Romario who was walking beside me.Kinda odd he was there i rarely dream about him
However i got my answer as I took a left and saw a collection of real sized model planes.For some reason they plagued my dreams.
Some were in boxes others out in the open. had bad experiences with these before so i was cautious(aka DOUBTFUL) I jumped on top of a box with a huge pile and saw one to my liking. I knew i had to touch it a certain way to activate it, meaning to make it operational. I grabbed its tail, held it firm and as made a quick shake a ripple of energy was sent through the plane and the planes for followed the ripple. With the help of R i got it to the ground and got in. Jonny was i the front seat and took main controls. Wile i was in the back. it was a BI-Plane, green I think. we were speeding down the runway and we needed lift but the control i was using for that was working so we never got off the ground. Just as I thought, failed me again you piece of junk!!

After that I jumped out really pissed and resorted to pure instinct. I stood, thinking about leaving this place and clapped my hands together like in FMA. Immediately I was in a different town with grey buildings. Then again, I was now in another part of the town. I saw a huge clock tower and aimed for it. Clap! I was there in front of it. Then i thought of going to Rome. Clap! I was transported to prehistoric times with some dinosaurs, huge endless forests and.. what the hell is that?? The Flinstones!! They were off at a distance with Fred at the top of a tree holding up Wilma with his left hand and Wilma holding up somebody else. They were dangling from the tree but before i could save them another emergency laid to my right. A huge white van with some symbol on it was racing towards one of the flin babies. Click! The van stopped unnaturally. Child saved, let's move on. Clap! I was in some kind dessert with a great arena in the distance.Almost there, finally!! One more try. Clap! I was in front of the arena, the details were coming into view, spectators were trickling in, then...
Bam!!! I snapped back to somewhere else. I was outside a library, my friend was causing trouble with a teacher and i was telling her it was not me as she thought it was me. She waved me off and left. I muttered something and entered the library. When i entered i saw a huge book probably 20 inches in length and 15 in breadth while closed. Click! it floated behind me like i wanted and went to the back where i saw the librarian using TK to arrange some books. I then stopped at my old female english teacher wearing leopard tights. She looked sexy so i decided to sit down on here chair and hoist her on top of me while i guided my hand between her legs. Another teacher, probably mine for this session, was eyeing as to say "you should be studying." So ordered my book to wait at the table where my seat was, which was near the door, as i played with miss some more. I then got up and left and went to my chair. A few minutes after I sat some scholars came in and stand at the door.
" Couldn't believe what we found. First we thought we would only see skulls and bones but we found real Templars" One said.
I eyed them. Then it hit me, that flin kid.
Could it be that i changed history?? Were the flinstones the first true Templars???


After that i woke up. First i sensed something being scratched by something. Then i realized the thing being scratched was my ear and the thing scratching it was my finger. After that the rest of my body slowly came to me. Quite Odd!!!

I'm not sure what order these come in, which makes me realize I need to add in a number peg in the future to keep dreams in order. One that can't be mistaken as being part of the dream itself, I mean. =P

Dream 1: Me and mom were at my sister's, and we ask about a puppy, only to hear that Duke (her biggest dog) has killed it. As Mom and my sister talk, Duke comes up to me and starts nipping at my hand. I say, "Duke is biting me!". Just then, he takes a big chomp. I'm crying out, but mom isn't even paying attention, still just chatting away. I think I had a visible, bleeding wound.

Dream 2: Me and a guy are running in a gym. We're running so fast, it's amazing. I think we come around this bend and stop, and someone is coming. For some reason, I have to hide, so I crouch down and walk around a wall partition to leave.

Dream 3: I'm in the shower and see little black pellets near the drain. One of them is bigger and starts moving, and I realize it's a round, fat bug. I back away, and use the overhead to start spraying them away.

Notes: I'm not sure when to consider things as dream signs now. Children and animals will inevitably be on the list though, I guess I can go ahead and start bolding them. And stores. And vehicles...

Notes: I've been back into using the method of loci for a few days and got to wondering if it would work for holding dream memories, since I have so much trouble with keeping an offline dream journal. Either I kill my hand taking down long dreams, or I don't put down enough detail trying to use keywords or phrases.

Surprisingly, considering how much they share in common (strange things happening, being aware, recall, etc), there's not a lot of information out there about combining [lucid] dreaming and the method of loci.

So what I wanted to try doing was make a specific loci, or location, to store my dream memories quickly when I woke up, and still be able to remember them later. I wasn't sure how this would work with finer details.

I have nine dreams stored as of today, and to the best of my knowledge, I remember as much detail as I remembered when I first woke up for all of them. Three of those dreams are ones from my first try at storing, and I already deleted them from my memory palace...and yet I can still bring them up now.

I'm really curious to see what will happen when I start remembering longer dreams, if I'll still be able to recall the details. I'm still practicing, so I may later be able use a system (peg, link, key thought) to add in those details as needed.

I have two loci set up for dreams only. They're two dream bubble maps from the Homestuck webcomic. One is a castle-type place and the other is a beach with multiple paths (haven't needed to use this one yet).

I was worried that using a virtual loci would be harder than using something in real life that I'm intimately familiar with (my main loci is my house), but it turns out it's a lot of fun to go over the images and work them into a memory palace, especially since Homestuck is something I'm so passionate about.

So that's what I'll be testing - how many dreams I can hold, how much I can remember even hours later, how much detail, etc.

Now off to type today's dreams up! 38D

I really prepared myself for these 2 tasks, because I knew I could get them both in one dream. So I wrote myself a little note and left it in the kitchen under the bottle of olive oil. And since I knew that 99% of my WILDs start out in my bedroom, I simply had to get up, go to the kitchen, find the note, then start breaking stuff. I made myself remember this every night and at every WBTB. That note has been sitting there for a few days now, but I finally had success!

I had my usual WBTB. And this was difficult: I had cycles of WILD vibrations on and off for hours, but I was experiencing what can be best described as SP (yeah, I'm looking at you, you know who you are). The good news is that it was easy to break out of, but breaking out of it woke me up each time.

So I decided to try to help myself out: when ever I felt the vibrations, I'd try to get up, or open my eyes, or roll out of bed, but there were too many pillows or blankets or I was too far from the edge of the bed to make it easy. So each time I woke up out of the SP, I'd lose a pillow off my head, then remove all the blankets, then inch closer to the edge of the bed, loose another pillow. Finally, I was pillowless, blanketless, and literally had my legs half hanging off the bed, hoping I could just roll or slide out of bed onto the floor on the next wave of vibrations.

This psychoticness finally paid off, and I was able to stand up out of bed after a big wave of vibrations. It didn't last long and I woke up. But then I did it again, and very wobbly got out of bed. I looked immediately at the night stand (which occasionally has an empty or nearly empty wine glass). I remembered that there wasn't one last night irl, but I hoped there would be one there if I LDed and sure enough, there was my favorite stemless white wine glass. I picked it up and chucked it at the wall, and it shattered. Though with not much noise.

I went to the bedroom door, and it was locked, so I had to unlock it before I could open it. Duh, I know, but still funny that I actually had to do that. I was blind in my left eye, still a little wobbly, and feeling like I might lose the dream. So I just shouted "more lucidity and clarity" and told myself that I don't have eyeballs or eyelids right now. All my vision is a huge panoramic movie screen. My vision got to a functional 80% I'd say.

I continued to the kitchen, and literally ran like a school girl to the little piece of paper under the olive oil. I was so happy that it was there! In real life, I had written:

Hey Ophelia, you
still dreaming?

- Ophelia *

Now the paper just had a few polka dots, and 3 fluffy cows that looked like they were playing leap frog. I'm gonna draw it for the draw your dreams thread later, it was pretty funny. Anyway, I laughed out loud in the dream at that, then went to the pantry for more wine glasses. I pulled them out one by one and threw them. Some would break and a couple just bounced.

Then I went for the eggs in the fridge. They were right were I normally keep them. I took them out and chucked them at the wall, at the cat, and at a random DC who walked by. My cat didn't like it, and I actually apologized to her haha (real life Sofie thanked me this morning with a nice, wet hair ball). Anyway, I'm kicking myself now because if I had thought of it, I coulda asked that DC if he wanted a wish granted. Oh well.

I chucked a few more wine glasses, then finally woke up. I feel like I could have done more, but sometimes I think I just get bored in a lucid dream when I accomplish the goals I had made myself remember, instead of trying to remember more goals. I'll need to make myself remember a couple auxiliary goals just in case I nail the main ones

(this dream is current, as of last night)

Side notes:
WILD attempt unsuccessful. I felt the onset of paralysis, but the sound of the heater distracted me, so I was unable to "dive". Ugh. I need to not let those things distract me! I may have to turn the heat down, although then I'll have issues with being too cold. I can't wait for summer.

The second time I woke up, I just couldn't tolerate remaining on my back. It's hard to describe the sensation, beyond discomfort coupled with a compulsion to roll over onto my side.


The dreams:
1. I was wandering through a hospital, which was also a university somehow. The elevators didn't work properly. The math professor accidentally locked me in the classroom; I don't remember how I got out. I remember that there were a lot of ledges and narrow bridges you had to climb in order to navigate even the most basic parts of the building, such as the library, and thinking to myself that it was unsafe.

2. I dreamed that M--- and I were driving through a city. It was an unfamiliar city, but it was on a bay or sound of some sort. I wasn't paying attention, and M--- was driving. He drove up the metal framework of an unfinished bridge, and over the edge, into the water. I bitched at him and told him that he needed to pay attention to where bridges end. Rather than letting the car sink, I dragged it along behind me in the bay so that it floated and started the engine, using the car's engine to push us through the water faster.

3. I dreamed I was lying on a mattress with Mom and G---, and G--- was trying to tell me that if you add red paint to yellow paint, it makes green paint. I was arguing with him that it did not, although at the time I couldn't articulate why. Mom began playing with actual paint, like finger paints, and made a mess.

(Woke up, used bathroom)

4. I dreamed I was in a city with high rise buildings. The light was shining off of them.

5. I dreamed I was talking to a rheumatic old man. He had oddly-colored eyes, one was a deep blue hazel with brown in it and the other one had a brown iris shaped like a flower, where each petal had 2 dark brown dots in it, and no pupil. He had a cloth that was soaked in bleach that he would sniff, and told me about how comforting it was to him to smell it, then pressed it in my face - I wasn't too thrilled with it, although I do like the smell of bleach sometimes. He then told me about how the gene for his weird eye was recessive, and asked if any of my relatives had the recessive gene. I told him no, because he was creeping me out. His eye reminded me of a weird cat I remembered seeing (dream memory, not real), a black cat that also had oddly-colored and oddly-slanted eyes.

(woke up and went back to sleep)

6. I dreamed I was grocery shopping, and trying to select food that I thought both my brother and I would enjoy. The grocery store was dark and dingy, and the freezer cases had cloudy glass and didn't seem to close correctly or be working properly. I was loading up on junk food, thinking that we hadn't been able to afford it lately and he would be pleased. I also bought Fresca. I wanted to buy a small sample pack of different sodas, but someone had stolen 2 out of one of the sample packs and another one was nothing but grape (I hate grape). I was disappointed.

Woke up. I need to remember to perform Reality Checks more often upon waking, though.

In this dream I was alternating names, sort of trying them on for size, like hats (I thought in hindsight, though sadly, no actual hats in this dream before waking up, which is a shame). They were mostly old family names, like my relatives maiden names, or names of close friends of the family.

This dream was all about self-identity, and I just know that part of why I dreamed it was because before going to sleep I tried to respond toa thread on dreamviews about changing gender in dreams. I say tried because I had server failed errors, so I do not know whether I actually did respond to that thread or not.

I also had some difficulty breathing in this dream, probably due to having a lot of congestion in real life, and hat raised the anxiety level in this dream.

Of course, given my struggles with myself lately and throughout life, anxiety about self-identity is not an unusual theme for me. Who am I? I am the one who is full of contradictions, and that's ok.

I think the fact that these were old family names is significant: I am aware that part of what makes me me is my family history, the women who came before me, who changed their names in marriage to redefine ourselves.