side notes

I woke up & tried to hold on to my dream but waking life too priority. I've been preparing for Labor Day weekend.

Non-lucid: I was at Crazy Daisy's' (AKA my living grandmother that is not a nice human being). But it wasn't really her old house I knew as a kid but it did have the lucheonette type of counter she had. My mom was trying to get me to talk to her & my dad & sisters too. My aunt Jill was taking up for her which almost created a whole other element of crazy going on. I wasn't having any of it. Then at some point it morphed into me needing a dress to go to a family event starring Crazy Daisy. Jill was telling me I had to buy the dress & I wanted to borrow it & bring it back. It was all stupid crap.

Gearing up for Labor Day weekend. I'm hoping for sun all 3 days so we can pool it up!

I want to see what happens if I completely depend on catching my natural FAs to have LDs. To LD, all I'm doing is looking at my alarm clock every time I wake up.

1-2 LDs (Caught FA, WILD)
2-3 LDs (Caught FA, 2 DILDs)
3-1 LD (DILD)
4-0 LD
5-2 LD (Caught FA, DILD)
6-0 LD
7-0 LD
8-1 LD (DILD)
9-2 LD (Caught FA, DILD)
10-0 LD
11-2 LD (DILD, WILD)
12-0 LD
13-0 LD
14-0 LD
15-0 LD
16-3 LD (Caught FA, 2 DILDs)
17-3 LD (Caught FA, 2 DILDs)
18-1 LD (DILD)
19-0 LD
20-2 LD (DILD, DEILD)
21-2 LD (Caught FA, DILD)
22-0 LD
23-1 LD (Caught FA)
24-1 LD (WILD)
25-0 LD
26-1 LD (DILD)
27-1 LD (DILD)
28-1 LD (DEILD)
29-2 LDs (Caught FA, DILD)
30-3 LDs (2 Caught FA, DEILD)

D1: Non-Lucid: A guy looked a lot like "Chuck" Saul's brother, from "Better call Saul". So I went there w/ the pony & it turned out to be something like a big feed store where you buy in bulk for animal food. He had some stalls in the back. The guy got really mad at me & said that we didn't deserve a pony & that we murdered our dogs. He told me we were criminals. Kept calling me a dog murderer. I was crying in my dream & in real life. I could here myself. So I knew I was dreaming but I still had to defend myself for personal reasons. I told him that wasn't what happened. I was hysterical & he kept yelling. But then he went around the corner which is the exact moment I knew I was dreaming, crying, & screaming. I started back in on him after I rounded the corner. He suddenly stopped & looked at me like I was crazy & said, "what are you talking about, I didn't say that."

I woke up still screaming & crying & Meesha Cat was loving on me. Then I realized all the screaming had freaked her out & woke her up. She had peed all over my bed. This was not a good start to the morning. I had to get up & wash all my shit & console my poor cat. So I finally got back to bed about 2 hrs later... Oh, & the dream was some small guilt I still carry about rehousing our dogs due to my health. They all got homes & yes I now have a cat but she's never under foot like they were.


D2: Lucid- Mike & I were driving to go see my Grandpa Harry. (He passed away 24 yrs ago) We were going around a sharp curve on what looked like the side of a mountain.It was getting dark & I was starting to panic. Something went wrong w/ the brakes & we were airborne. I was driving. I held his hand & said "I love you, Mike." I thought we were going to die! I had this strange feeling right then though. I had to try & do something. Part of me thought this has to be a dream & part of me thought this could be real. So when I told him I loved him & held his hand I went full on lucid. I slowed down time & willed us to be in a bubble away from the car & we slowly floated down.

D3: I had a big fight w/ a guy who was treating like shit. Apparently he was seeing me & another woman. I got really mad & started teleporting all around which freaked him out while I was yelling at him. He was so confused, lol. I started to get lucid but my phone went off & I had to deal w/ real life. Sigh. That would've been 2 lucids. Oh well.

Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Explanation of details-Blue
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown/OOB

I dreamed of Walter White and then I dreamed of me being on meth. My eyebrows wouldn't stop making angry motions, I couldn't control them. (Pray for me, I need prayer.) Consciously speaking I'm not even into the stuff and yet what the heck is this dream? Am I subconsciously somehow on it even if I don't know myself? Help, pray!

After I woke up, later in the afternoon on this day (this isn't in the dream) I saw someone whose right arm was twitching; it was easily noticeable with how far it was twitching. I wondered if he was on meth.

I thought I was awake but I wasn't. It was a False Awakening...I had a dream that I was just sitting here in bed eating & watching tv & one of my teeth broke halfway off & I freaked out & ran to the bathroom to look in the mirror & saw that one of my teeth had broken in half. I was freaking out & went back into my room. I thought this really happened in the end & made me have some serious anxiety.

I went back & made this journal entry because I forgot & it's my most serious reoccurring dream & reoccurring false awakening. I always think I'm awake when this happens & I wake up freaking out. It sometimes makes me have multiple false awakenings. It's a great fear I have because I have dentures on the top & fear the day I will need them on the bottom.... I don't mind talking about it.... I had crooked teeth as a child which I knew would lead to problems later in life & also had a heat stroke at a girl scout retreat along w/ some other girls which made me prone to having nausea. Now I have to be careful in the heat. Hence my anxiousness of my A/C not working right this summer. Then there was my Hyperemesis during my pregnancies I was constantly in the hospital puking up blood which ate at my teeth & stomach. Any puking scenario scares the hell out of me, where my teeth are concerned. And the final nail in the coffin was when I became a meth addict in my 20's..... Anyway, this was important for me as a person to add to my journal.

D1: I am hanging out w/ Ellen Degeneres & we are getting ready for The Peoples : Choice Awards Show. We are good friends. We gone down w/ Mike & are scoping out our seats. I tell him she has some things to do & I have to go get her a gift. He's irritated that we are leaving him there alone. Ellen says "Fuck It", "lets just go." We see Melissa McCarthy & say hi, cuz we are all good buds ya know. We went shopping & picked up things & ran into other people. When we got back Mike was even more pissed & saying, "See, I knew this would happen if you left!" He couldn't save the seats. I told him not to freak out & that Ellen can get us seats. So we leave him there, lol. I would never normally leave him but it's Ellen & we have to get sat down before things start. We finally find seats but I can see Mike & he's fuming!


Meesha Cat started bugging me & I batted her away but only had time to phase into a frag.

D2: I was still w/ Ellen & Mike & now we are at some really weird tacky ass funeral outside.

I had a third but just couldn't hold on to it. My A/c seems better today but my nose is still running from allergies. But I'll take the dreams I got because they were fun. Ellen is a common DC for me, also so is Melissa McCarthy.

I was on some bizarre camping trip w/ a group of little people & some of my family. My dad had erected a big tent for us on a wooden platform (the girl scout camp I went to as a kid had some like this). We were all eating camp site food & it started to rain. The tent was gone for some reason now & the little people were trying to help us construct one out of materials around the camp site. My aunt Jill who is only a couple of weeks older than me was being a bitch.

Got woke up by fucking A/C guys. They have been here all day so it better be fixed this time!

I dreamt i invited a friend, Fran, to a house in the countryside. We slept in the night, and at the morning of the next day i offer him some breakfast although there wasn't anything to eat. First i offer him some mint tea, then some toasts. I was walking from the bedroom (actually we were sleeping on the living room) to the kitchen, and from the kitchen to the sleeping place. Then i went to the refrigerator to look for chocolate and honey. There were 3 bars of cholocate left, so i took 2, and there was the bottom of a jar of honey, and the refrigerator was empty. He wanted to put that into the toasts, lol. Then he asked me for some cream (like cheese-cream). This part is really disgusting. I go to the kitchen and fetch from some drawers two pots of cream. I give him one pot that was open but full and i check the other one. He starts putting the content into the toast, while i was looking that the pot i was holding had some hairs that came from the underarm. He was still preparing the toast, so there was no need to scream. I told him "look at this, it seems this is not cream but rather deodorant." He said something like oh, and was undisturbed with it. He finished preparing the toast and we decided to throw it in the toilet. A toilet was right there in the living room. We finished our poor breakfast and we went outside.

We crossed a river, right outside the house to spend the day either walking on the road, or having fun. We were almost crossing when i told him i had to go back to grab the keys. He told me he would call his boss (he actually doesn't work) to tell him he would stay here. I ask him if he wanted me to grab his bicycle, but i didn't hear an answer. So i went back and i heard him saying that the water was cold. It was indeed cold, but i considered also that it was morning. I looked up the sky and it was cloudy, very cloudy, like if a storm were coming. I get off the water and had to walk about 40 meters to enter the house. There were some trees before the house. I look at the sky again, and i saw a grey background with a lot of ravens. I walk nevertheless and these ravens start to fly, like concentrating (and some of them charged) and then flying away. While they flew away the sky became clearer and the storm dissipated. There were like 100 ravens, and i felt tense while i was walking beside them. I didn't wanted to hurt them but i supposed they would attack me, and then i wouldn't know if i would react or not. I was more fearful of my reacting rather than whatever the ravens did to me. So some of them charged at me, like 3 or 4. I still walked but i was having doubts with regarding my intentions, if i wished goodwill even if they attacked me, or actually i was having an intention of ill-will towards the attacking raven. One of them bited me in my arm, and i didn't felt pain, but i felt/thought that something had to be done. With tranquil deteremination i grabbed him by the beak and opened it, but i wasn't feeling angry at all and that was something very good for me, rather i felt equanimity. He flew off but as soon as he was flying, and all the crows were doing the same, the sky opened up and showed that a beatiful sunshine was behind the clouds, and knowing that i waked up.

As soon as i waked up (i knew i really waked up hehe) i had a clear insight for my meditation. The most difficult part of the sitting meditations i do are to keep the constancy in the time of the sitting. For example if i determine to do 1:30 minutes i tend to do 1 hour, which is the normal rythm i have [Im not pushing myself too far in the goal, because i realize it is something i can actually do, i could even do do 2 hours, and 180 minutes would be pushing too far]. I don't do it because i know it's a little bit more of effort and im lazy, but im also aware that the benefits of doing it would be awesome and great. This dream has given me the motivation to endure my meditation, work a bit more, and i know that i will get to see the results soon.

What results i expect?:
-That 1:30 minutes of sitting would eventually be as easy as doing one hour.
-That all the pain that comes from meditation would eventually fade away (not by itself hehe but from work of the meditation which is done little by little)
-That after the pain is gone i will experience some pleasant feelings, and that would be the next thing i would have to deal with.
-I will gain more clarity and tranquility. That means peace of mind.

Some other notes:
-The house i dreamt was house of M. Olguín, of Rio Cuarto.
-The countryside was that which my mother rented from May/June to August/October 2015.
-I actually walked the road of that countryside to the city one day. I walked like about 4 hours and have completed only 20% of the road, so i went back before dusk. I arrived just in time, the sun was setting when i arrived. So it was also a fun day. (The next day my mothers boyfriend came in my bicycle (the one of my friend in this dream) and i went back the same day in that bicycle. He stayed for about 4 days there, but there was food to survive hehe.)

-Yesterday i watched a video of Bhante Vimalaramsi about the obstacles of meditation. It was a great talk which motivated me a lot. I think what it taught me was to accept, be mindful, investigate and continue. Developing this would be something like developing strength (in the mind).

Mike & were moving into a shelter for some reason but this shelter was like this one I was in when I was 15. It was a house that foster kids stay in temporarily while they await being transferred to a foster home, group home etc. We were being shown around & told the routine of chores, meal times, our room & so on. It was really odd. But it seemed like it was some kind of normal stop over place. Like ppl were traveling & had to keep moving around. Like ppl were taking in other ppl on their journeys.

Still have a/c issues & my nose hates me.

I have to explain what happened before this dream. Mike & I took were really stressed out. We got unexpected news that his boss was demoted. They told her she could either be fired or moved to another plant. It was a big blow on so many levels. No one is safe at Mike's job now. They lied & said the firings were over but restructuring will continue, which really means more firing. When the 5th biggest company in the world by yours company there is no rhyme or reason anymore. It's a long story but in the end we were both really exhausted from it all.... Anyway I decided to do a meditation before bed about needing a spirit guide or some sign in my dreams of ways for me to contribute to our household by looking online for a side job that I could do online. I can't work a regular job due to medical reasons & I have looked before but I just couldn't find one.... So while I was meditating a woman w/ short hair appeared in my head. I've seen her pop in there before one other time. Hence the dream that follows... About the meditation. I merged the whole "See, Hear, Feel" method w/ a new meditation that involves self discovery & betterment of my soul.



D1: I was looking for information in my dream & a boy brought me a book. I then encountered the same woman I have seen twice now during my meditations & finally in my dream. I showed her the book & she smiled like we had found just what we were looking for. I believe she may be one of my spirit guides.... There were men coming so we hid crouched under a staircase.

D2: I had a dream of Nebulus. Sorry Neb but I don't remember the specifics, except that it was the real you, not the Nebulus you. I woke up quickly & ran to the bathroom to blow my nose. I still am not feeling much better but I got some meds for it which is helping.


Non-Lucid-Green
Lucid-Red
Side Notes-Purple
Astral Projection/AP-Brown/OOB

Before I get started, I'd like to say that I've been reading a lot about being spiritual, meditating & being positive. And I've been practicing these things effectively for the most part but I think I hit my limit today. Therefore I'm reserving my God given right to exercise my free will to just be a bitch just for this small allotted time.... That being said, I'm tired of trying to log onto here & running into the "Facebook glitch". I hope this gets resolved soon DREAMVIEWS. Now onto my own shit...... I'm really so sick of being sick. I can't breathe so my sleeping is all over the place. My nose & head officially hate me. Then today I had to get up & deal w/ the A/C guys yet a fucking gain! They left but will be back soon. Now they think it's the line that wasn't replaced when both of the new units were put in. Apparently it runs under my house. And to top it off, Meesha Cat was bugging me and it scared me awake & I batted at her out of reflex so she peed on me & my bed! Yep, my day sucks really really really bad! I just want to go lay down & cry but I can't because I have to supervise my A/C drama. Oh, I think I forgot to mention that the new pipe including labor will cost me an additional almost $500! We are officially tapped to the max w/ our credit that we were forced to take out for the initial A/C unit itself. Say hello to that 4 yr payment plan the size of a car payment & add I don't even know how much more each month. Checking in w/ a few of you on here and then I hope my night ends w/ cool air, real sleep & any dream of any kind! Piece out Bitches!

Still Sick

Burning up w/ a fever. Didn't get very much quality sleep. I had some non-lucids but my head is pounding & my husband & I are both playing sitting time on the toilet roulette, lol. Our noses are both running & stopped up during crazy intervals. My a/c decided to act up again today which was very inconvenient. I didn't write anything down because my head is so foggy which is sad due to the dreams I had were actually worth writing down. So this is all I can do today is to write this. I had to postpone a trip to see my mother-n-law today due to all of this. I'll check other ppls stuff tomorrow. Today I need to get back to bed. Shopping day is tomorrow so I need to rest up.