All DJ Entries

A family is staying with us and I see the father grab and pull the boy's (10 -12 y/o) hair and then the boy grabs the baby's (1 y/o) hair and I say sternly to both of them, "let go!" They do. I tell them that this is unacceptable behavior. I ground one of them and I forget what I do to the other and then I tell them we have to get family counseling for them.

All NLs: I'm watching a tractor start to pull a house (a high school friend's house) and a guy from the paper I used to work with is there. There are men sitting in rockers on the 2nd story of this house and I ask what in the world they are doing. George says they're watching the animals (opossums sp? and raccoons) come out from under the house and then try to hit them with the house and when they do, the men hoot and holler. (Good gracious, where do I come up with this stuff?) I see several swinging chairs on the 2nd floor balcony which I think I'd like to have before they demolish this house. I go running towards the house to stop them from hurting the animals that are starting to come out from under the house. That's all I remember from that one.

Recall: 1/10. Another night of shitty recall. It looks like 3/26 was the last day where I would say my recall was up to par, so this has been going on for a little over a week now. I was sure it had been a lot longer before I checked my DJ... being cut off from my dreams night after night like this is unpleasant to say the least.

I've tried variations on bedtimes, alcohol, caffeine, and supplements, with no effect on dream recall either way. It's starting to look like stress might be a critical factor, though, and not the way you might think. I've heard some people say that stress kills their dream recall, but for me it seems to be just the opposite. In the past I've noticed that my dreams become intensely vivid at times when I'm under a lot of daytime stress—and some of my most amazing lucid streaks have occurred on nights when I had absolutely no time or intention to practice because I was under so much pressure WL. Conversely, during periods when I'm under very little stress and I think I'll be able to devote my full attention to dream practice, I tend to end up in a dryspell.

This pattern holds true for my dream experiences over the past month. Early in March I was under unbearable stress at work, and yet I had my best lucid streak ever, with ten distinct lucid incidents in the first half of the month. The last night I dreamed vividly was March 26, an extremely stressful night due to daytime anxieties. Since then, WL pressures have eased and I've been much more relaxed and mellow... and at the same time my dreams have become wan and elusive, despite firm waking intentions to remember them.

Last night the terrible recall was made even more obtrusive and aggravating by the inexplicable failure of my attempts to counter it. I went to bed and set a strong intention to remember my dreams, and here's the kicker: I actually do recall a point before I was actually awake, where I still remembered the dream I'd just had and was going over the details to fix them in memory... and then somehow on the transition to waking all the details dissolved anyway.

Lucid: No

Dreams Recalled: 1

Dream:
I'm at some sort of juice shop, and i choose something completely out of place: hot cocoa. Unlike the other juices, this one has the chuao logo on it. The others have concepts of their own fruit. They all appear to be covered, Styrofoam cups, like coffee cups. I pay for the coco, and the cup is light brown. I am served by a short, half bald man with large clumps of curly gray hair over his ears. The man has a gray waistcoat, and i walk towards a massive white dome-like marble building with pillars.

Goals:

- Meditation before bed every day
- Week-long list of PM targets

Code:

Monday
- see a red car
- feed cat
- read a comic

Tuesday
- go into the laundry
- drink water
- hear a loud noise 

Wednesday
- notice a strong smell
- open door for cat
- stop at a red light

Thursday
- watch a TV show
- get txt
- see a bicycle

Friday
- charge phone
- eat something sweet
- talk to someone

Saturday
- play a game
- feel something metallic
- practice anything taichi related

Sunday
- get an email
- shower
- be in a dream

Ride bike with adrie near playground at home. Make a wheelie by accidant, in the back of the truck. Gain instructions to hold it on. let loose. hold it in. suprisingly accurate to handle the accelarator!

Girl insists on letting me hug her. hold her. etc. feels good at some point she turns to kiss and I feel like it's the kiss of the dementor and my soul is sucked body while I wake up from a false awakening and realize something is still happening and resist by finding energy to go supersaying mode and I feel the leeches unnatach when I finally use my strength of voice.

Something about games. Accidantil sexy time. Wake up. Take galantamine+CDP choline. hard time sleeping. but experience some dreams and accidantal WILDs without being Lucid.

People outside. A little war thing people on the roofs. I hang out with them. GO to the top. Make friends. Become Lucid.

One of them is a big bloke.
He tells me of a dream he had of Darth Vader. I tell him of the dream symbolism involved and that I had a similar dream. I suspect this is an aspect of my unconscious.
Find something akin to what feels like meeting The Oracle in the Matrix. There's an old man in a chair. I walk on walls and practice dream control by walking on the ceiling. I wake up in that room. I felt like I could control the entire dream but didn't

The turtles from TMNT and I went into the city, we were on our way to sneak into Shredder's layer. I cannot remember if it was to attack him or to simply find out what he was up to. Probably the second one. We split up soon after parking the van we had come in (because it sure didn't resemble the SHell Razor). For breif second it showed where and what each of us were doing, I cannot very well remember what I was doing or Mikey or even Raph. I remember though, seeing Donnie sneaking down a long dark corridoor. From there it went to where Leo was, he was in a dark hallway, when some Foot soliders were coming Leo suddenly became a shadowy and snuck right past them. Unfortunently when he returned to normal he was caught and had to flee.

He was the first one to make it to the van, at first it seemed like he hadn't been followed. It was so quiet, Leo opened up the back and looked inside he dropped keys into a large turtle shell that was in the back. That's when I noticed Leo didn't have his shell. If I was lucid I would've been extremely weirded out and confused.

When he turned around three foot soldiers were there with Rahzar. Leo pulled out his katana and was prepared to fight but Rahzar said something making him stop. The others arrived but they were stopped as I will, whatever Rahzar had said must've been bad enough to keep them from defending themselves. That is when I jumped off the top of the van, the point of view of the dream back in first person. I grabbed Leo's katana from the ground and ran at them, after all Rahzar didn't threaten me technically, he on;y threatened the turtles. I easily sliced the first attack of two of the foot soldiers, they were still the first footbot version that the Kranng made. I ran at Rahzar with the swords, he broke them and threw them behind me; I jumped back when he tried to attack me.

I threw one of the broken peices at one of the soldiers that had appeared in front of Rahzar, the soldier sparked a bit and fell. I did the same to the other, only the blade was able to slice it's head off. April showed up when I threw another peice of broken katana at Rahzar, it peirced him but he didn't go down. So I ran at him, now fighting with no weapons. April was by my side to help.

When we beat Rahzar I saw the turtles were just standing there wide-eyed in shock either at both April and me or just me. Either way I smirked triumphantly.

When I woke up I didn't feel like writing the whole dream down (it was like the middle of the night) so I had original only written that we snuck into Shredder's base and that in the end April and I defeated Rahzar. Who knew just those two things could bring back the whole dream? It's so cool.

Somebody sends me one of my pictures, and I notice that hidden in the layers is a bunch of top secret information. I accidentally post that image online with the secret files, then wonder if that was a bad idea. The people who sent it to me chastise me, and I counter with a "Don't worry, it's well hidden".

So I was just having a zombie apocalpse , driving a car around with some people ,
They were shooting the zombies sometimes a buddy took the wheel and I went to search for my "friends"
They were all abducted for a minute I was able to talk to them normally but then they tried to kill me
I jump out of the building, parkour scene, lazer shootings , a lotta modern shite is being used , chaos.
Somehow we manage to go back to our base, my workplace . Theres some people. they have weird equipment . Some of them is anime (WTF) characters.

I was riding my bike with C down the main road in our town. It was foggy and all of the plants looked green and alive. (If this keeps happening, I'm gonna call it a dream sign.) The other thing that I remember was that we were riding down the middle of the road in the town, not the sidewalk. The road must have been closed or something.

It was hot in the dream as well as humid.

There was a funny bit of broken logic here where I said that I had predicted that I would see her riding my bike with me on the main road in a dream. (Without realizing that I was in fact dreaming right then and there.) I remember her having a green bandanna tied around her waist. (Not sure how you would tie a bandanna to fit around your waist, mine barely fits around my head.) I told her that every detail of how she looked was accurate right down to that bandanna.

We turned onto a trail and started heading through the park. (IWL this would lead you to my house.) We started getting chased by this pair of rich twin kids driving old fashioned cars that were trying to run us over. (Man a lot of similarities to last night.) We thought we could lose them by going down the woods path since there are concrete posts to prevent people from driving motor vehicles down there. But their old fashioned cars were narrow and therefore easily fit between them.

At some point I was able to take control of one of the kids driving the cars and make him crash. But they were twins, and the other twin was still following us.

There was some important plot-line playing out here that I cannot fully recall. C had something in her bike bag (a book of some sort I think.) that we were trying to keep anyone else from getting their hands on.

The whole dream was a little bit lucid, but I had the strangest deja vu like this had happened before.

...

Rocket standing by to launch at an inland launch facility on the plains. Farmland all around. Facility is on a bit of a hill. The rocket is set to launch mid-day and rendezvous with a space station. It is a clear day, no clouds. But there are 3 or 4 moons in the sky. The rocket has four external boosters and a central shaft leading up to one of those space capsules.

(Here we go with that space travel dream sign again. Come on, I stopped playing KSP months ago now...) I am 3rd person spectating. I think I was filming the launch for a news station while flying in a helicopter or something.

Count down and lift off. The rocket lifts off and begins to turn over. There is a timer showing how long the flight has been in progress, and at about 40 seconds something goes wrong. One of the booster rockets is bending up into the main rocket body. It begins malfunctioning and shooting off a trail of fire and explosions pushing it sideways.

The launch escape system (LES) activated and pulled the pod with the astronauts away from the rocket. The parachutes opened and everyone cheered since the astronauts came on the radio and said that everything was just fine. The rocket broke apart and the boosters kept going upward.

The dream faded out here.

Well that was pointless and went nowhere.

-WBTB- only about 3:50 am. Had to pee really badly.

Some kind of hunger games or battle royale situation here. It was fairly late in the game and most of the contestants had already been killed. I was hiding in a cave (giving a Minecraft vibe). I even had wooden treasure chests full of supplies that I was guarding. I spotted another player. I recognized her as one of my OC's.

"...Satri?"

She realized that she had been spotted and started running away from me. (I guess she was looking to steal my supplies.) The dream went semi lucid again. I pulled out my Fang Jian and chased after her.

Spoiler for What is a Fang Jian:

Fictional weapon of my own design. Fang Jian is Chinese for 'Spinning Sword'. Even if google translate is wrong. (And it usually is.) I don't care. I like that for the name of the weapon.

I've actually been trying to get the one you see in the picture here to appear in my dreams for some time.

I started to run after her. Since she was my character, I knew what to expect. She was a fast runner. She was stealthy and might try to steal my resources. I kept following her and trying to hook her and pull her back. But she was too fast.

We got to a lava lake that had all of these stepping stones across it. She cleared it pretty fast, and I followed right after her. I the cave was getting narrow and darker with all of these twists and turns. I knew I might be able to corner her.

But then, there was a door with a women's restroom sign on it in the depths of the cave and she ran inside. There was also a men's restroom and a unisex restroom. I yelled out that that was unfair.

I tried to figure out what to do. I said that this was a dream, but that I wished that I knew I was dreaming so that I could change myself into a female and follow her into the bathroom. (Yeah, That is some of my most broken logic yet.)

I came up with a new strategy. There was a little ledge above the bathroom door that I would climb up on. When she came out, I would jump down and assassinate her. I climbed up and got ready. Just a few moments after I got ready, she came out. She had a giant black pair of scissors. She started slicing at me with them but I blocked.

She then kicked me in the chest. It was so fast that it actually took me half a second to realize that the blow I felt was in fact a kick. I anchored myself using my weapon and moved in, putting her on the defensive. I tried to slash at her, but she jumped out of the way. I cut a couple of stalagmites and saw that I had cut them smooth like polished stone.

She disappeared from the dream (or just ran off.) and I started cutting stone with my weapon because I liked the pretty patterns that would come up and the feel of the stone. I began thinking that feeling the stone was like dream stabilization and that I should become lucid. I was also thinking that I was lost. The dream faded out and I woke up.

I was in school. I had maths lesson with my teacher from previous school. Slim, tall, brunette woman with dark complexion, and ugly face. She was mad at students. She was shouting and taunting them. I feared that she'll check my homework, which I haven't made.

Later that day, when I was in home I tried to do the maths homework. I had to create a symmetric copy of a shape, and use trigonometry to count something. I surfed the web and asked my sister, but it wasn't of any help.

Next day, during the maths lesson the teacher asked if we done our homework. Suddenly I realised how to do this, and started to write. She was mad, and I couldn't finish the homework on time. The teacher wanted to give everyone a 1 because of it. Then she told that I won't get 1, because I've made an orc head 3d model. Suddenly my mother appeared in the classroom and told something to the teacher.

Morning of April 5, 2015. Sunday.



I already knew this many years ago, but once again a “popular” dream myth is exposed as just that - a myth - this being the one where you supposedly only dream about vivid sexual encounters if they are not presently occurring in reality. (Besides, common sense would dictate that the Tetris effect would render that idea as ludicrous.) Not only that, the level of conscious dream creation and control is almost a hundred percent save for one unusual distortion.

In my (first) dream, I am, for some reason, focused on a room on Loomis Street, the one with the second refrigerator and which was used both mainly for storage boxes and my last sleeping place before moving to Australia (as well as where I read all the letters from my wife before we met). Though I was last there in early 1994, I recall how my older sister still had at least a couple quarter-filled bottles of shampoo from as far back as the 1950s as well as a stack of old “Dig” magazines from the 1950s. My sister called it the “junk room”. In my dream, this room is far more cluttered than it ever was in reality - so much so, it is impossible to walk through it on the floor. It begins to dawn on me that I am dreaming. Oddly, instead of stabilizing and enhancing my dream and taking control as I often have in the past (even as a toddler), I decide to wake up and look around (without moving in reality), which I do.

During this short wakeful period, I start to make my next dream, which will start in the same location but then change to our present address on W street. After a short time, I am back in the “same” dream, more lucid and with more vividness than ever. This time it is raining indoors. The rain is extraordinarily refreshing and I revel in the sensations for a time as I climb up onto a stack of cardboard boxes on my way through the room. Eventually, I leave this room through a fictional door, either teleporting or simply going into the front room of this house by way of a typical dream composite.

From here, I “summon” my wife, who appears automatically at about the age she was when we first started writing or a few years younger. We indulge in passionate kissing and embracing, the sense of touch “accelerated” (in the manner that all senses are in dreams at times, including internally glowing enriched imagery, augmented “impossibly loud” audio, blissful “smells as simultaneous breathing”, and other perceptions not possible in waking life). The only distortion is, when I am holding her from behind, a “hollow pocket” appears within my dream’s rendering; sometimes in her upper back, sometimes in the air - though this does not distract me from reaching my peak. This seems to represent the tiny degree of control that is lacking in my dream creation and continuity. However, I keep “sealing” it (in an automatic mental sense), whereby it fills itself in somewhat like fluid, like a three-dimensional holographic dynamic recess (spherically inverted) sealing itself up from some sort of minor “glitch” of consciousness - like a “blind spot”, perhaps, but more in line with my view and not always on the periphery. I see this as an environmental “flaw”, not related to the form of my wife - more like a superimposed partial “mini-portal” that I do not place my hand near at any point. Still, it may also be a vague association with “hollow of the back” or even the phrase “holler back” (as a typical in-dream orphaned pun).

Even though we had indulged in making love in reality just a few hours prior, my dream seems to increase my desire and awareness and even seems to “reignite” and increase my physical stamina (almost to a point of disbelief considering I was already just fulfilled), something I cannot help but puzzle over other than my dream self consciousness (in some incarnations) being more viable than the conscious in some ways (certainly not in logic, critical thinking, or even common sense, but more relative to bodily control, physical capability, and cellular function).

Affirmation forms, including “Thank you for telling me when I am dreaming”, “Thank you for making me aware of when I am in a dream”, and hundreds of similar phrases, seem to have almost fully integrated into my normal thinking processes, although I still like to experience non-altered or “unscripted” dreams.

Done with this website. Moderators are extremely rude and for no reason.

Morning of April 5, 2015. Sunday.



Most of my dreams of today had various levels of lucidity, but some are too abstract to relate correctly. Being “inside” abstract forms is sometimes very comfortable, other times bland and uncomfortable (almost strenuous, in fact).

I am in a typical unconscious state of being aware of needing to have my body on one side or the other, a certain number of minutes on each side, and a certain position, as some sort of important faux system of continuity, mostly abstract (almost like “drawing invisibly” or “painting” internally - even maze-like at times), seeing myself doing this even though I have not moved my physical body as such in reality - checking my sleeping form while disembodied and hovering above myself to see if I am in the “right” position at the “right” time, almost like an attempt to interpret myself as a letter of the alphabet that must change in precise rhythms over time, although with the sense of repeating the “same steps” after a time, which my body seems to do. This seems to last for a very long time (several hours), though likely an illusion and perhaps only lasting a half hour or so. This type of “pre-dreaming” or whatever it is seems more common for me over the last few years.

In my main dream, I am walking about in an unknown city with “friends” I do not know in reality. It seems to be late at night. There is some sort of idea related to gang activity, but nothing dramatic happens. I do have a revolver but do not shoot anyone. The setting is ambiguous. I am walking through alleys but at one point, one becomes an internal hallway and then an alley again.

Next, the most vivid (even beautiful) part of my dream occurs. I walk out through the end of a hallway into a sort of distorted alleyway and become aware of a thin young male sitting at what resembles a comic-strip lemonade stand. It is set back a bit from a large storefront and parking lot. He is apparently a drug dealer and in fact is sniffing a lot from his own creations, though seems very cheerful and passive.

These in-dream “drugs” are small containers of various mixed colors of paint (which a person apparently drinks to get the effects, each color being slightly different), or at least that is what it looks like and what I instinctively believe. There is a very strong smell of paint in the night air as well as an odd organic scent, or rather, likely a chemical fabrication of fruit scents and such; blueberry, orange, lemon, grape, strawberry, and so on. I feel slightly out of place in accidentally arriving at this location (almost like accidentally going into a bar) and somewhat wary, but the unknown male seems very sincere in his service and asks me what he can get for me (inferring a particular mix of particular colors in precise proportions). I cheerfully say “no” (with respect) and continue walking. I really do not feel like drinking paint even while within a dream. At this point, when I look down, I see rivulets of paint flowing out into the parking lot from his area, which I end up walking on (the entire area is covered), all different colors and glistening brightly in the moonlight, swirling and forming multicolored abstract pattens. These completely random and incidental swirls of color flowing out over the parking lot and into the street seem hundreds of times more pleasant to look at than typical graffiti. There are gallons and gallons of paint seemingly being wasted in his business, but it also seems like the remains or “waste water” of whatever process he is working with. There is an intriguing calmness during this scene. (It also seems somewhat odd that so much paint has recently been flowing out from one small area - though not necessarily in a negative context.)

Although I become more lucid, I mostly end up walking around without doing much other than enjoying the night air and sense of peace. (I am still not quite sure what city I am in.)

04/02/15 I have a back log of LDs I would like to journal, but this mornings are short so I will jot high lights.

Tried 9 snooze DIELDs and at least 5 hit (9 minutes each). In one I saw a family and there was a girl in late teens, describing some guy. I decided to try and steer the dream without flagrant control and sex this girl up. I asked her to draw a picture of him and indicated the seat next to me. She drew Eric Cartman, lol. I told the family i would take her to look for him. We walked along a green belt, and I 'knew' the next pine tree would have a secret place beneath the boughs. I saw a large pine and decided I saw an opening, and it appeared. We crawled inside, and it was like a kid's hide away. I aged the girl into about late 20s and did 'stuff' until the alarm went off.
The next one I pictured the same place, and when I appeared I enlarged it and made it huge. called out, "you can come out now" and a pretty female DC came out. I spent the whole 9 minutes playing with her. At one point she kept shrinking and that was a minor glitch (she suddenly was the size of a doll twice).
I had one where I was crawling and started seeing hard wood floor,and was in an old fancy house. I decided it was a certain house from my past. I set out hoping to find the girl who used to live there, for more fun and games. I never ound her, but exploring was fun, very vivid.
Next one the images were at first from a video game DDO, and it was a tavern. the DCs were little and had icons above them like the game. decided t see if I could shift this and make it areal tavern scene. It worked and I entered the scene. I caused a female DC to come sit with me and drinks to appear. Eventually the bar tender woman came up and said she had been watching me stare at that same drink half the night. looked at the drink and it was very life like.
The final one was really more advanced H.I. stuff and I could feel my body in bed. flew around and checked out the crazy patterns, but no real dream formed, so I got up after this.