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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

A Rinpoche I don't know is visiting Portugal. He says the Rinpoches house needs to be emptied fast and they are looking for some place where to store furniture and books. I offer to store the books but say I have no covered place to store the furniture. He argues it just needs to be a cemented floor, no need for cover cause they can use a tarp. But they also don't know how long it will be, so I keep saying no, afraid of the weather changes. Anyway, this Rinpoche hands me one book as an example and I treat it as a precious treasure.

Attending some VIP award ceremony for which I bought a ticket. I go to the main entrance of the venue, I look fabulous and confident, but the door keepers tell me the entrance is for guests only or nominees. The bought tickets have to enter through a lateral door. There is a mother and daughter who also get denied entrance and I join them in looking for the secondary door. I try to cheer them up by showing enthusiasm and not upset with the setback. I have some big props/ jewels I have to carry in my hands and I am sick of it and considering leaving them behind. They tell me not to do it.

At an underground bunker in the USSR. An accident with grenades exploding at the entrance reveals our location to some team outside looking for us. They enter through an opening on the back. I resist but all others surrender, so I also give up. They subject us to indoctrination treatment, make us watch videos about the great motherland. I laugh and do not allow the brainwashing. The others decided to play along, figure they will suffer less. I also consider they might put me in sleep deprivation and so on, so I also consider playing along, as it is naive of them to think we can actually believe their bullshit after watching some videos.

Crossing some station and I become lucid. Drop my backpack, take my shoes and socks, open a door to another dream. There is a garden and a nice party with beautiful dancers like nymphs. There are a lot of white lotuses with purple orbs glowing in the center. Up close the orbs look like a white bubble of a thin membrane with the purple one inside. I put my hand through the external one and pick the purple one, which actually looks like a molecule with several atoms and bridges, also made from the thin membrane. They start to deflate but I make them turn into a sort of purple lotus flower and then I eat it. Tastes like raw cabbage. That was sort of pointless. Look around and think of lying a bit and decide what to do next. Think about my guru but get distracted by Henri, which I haven't seen in years but is now here in a suit and tie. I call him, he doesn't even notice I am there. I wake up cause I am snoring loud.

With my mom, I think in my home because there is a fireplace burning. I leave her for a moment in the living room and when I come back she threw a lot of absurd things in the fire, like a can where I keep coffee capsules, a wooden box and a bunch of unopened yogurts. I can't save the yogurts because they melted away, but manage to recover the rest before it burns. She has no recollection of having done that. I surely didn't, so then we get really concerned about her mental health.

I am a boy playing piano on stage at a public recital. Some colleagues trolled me and put something inside the piano so when I reach some notes it sounds really bad. I have to stop and open the piano and find a saxofone inside. I show it to the audience, they show sympathy for me, but my teacher who also despises me, doesn't allow me to sit back and play again and announces the next kid to perform. I am revolted. I try to cope but can't sit in the audience. I sneak out and head for some beautiful deserted place. Seems like we are in an island. I see ocean, a bay, but also a mountain and chose to go there. Just go first to my room pick my bag so I can go there, but I can't find the bag. Outside sitting in a car is Tatiana but she pretends not to see me.

I enter a lecture hall and speak to the man who I believed summoned me, dressed in black with a small white owl on his shoulder, but it turns out the owl is the one that called me; this is news to the man in black, and he's not pleased about it. The owl speaks in a pleasant woman's voice and changes into the shape of a four-sided mask, one face for each direction; three of them are simple stylized masks made of wood or similar, but the fourth is an actual face - it moves, it has eyes - just in cartoonishly distorted proportions. She's been sealed/trapped/stuck/reduced to this. She introduces herself as Loki Laufeyjarson, which is not the name I was expecting her to say but I roll with it.

She talks about each of her masks - in the one that resembles an actual face, she says she'd taken this form and scorned high heels (meaning an artificial way of gaining the height she feels she should have had anyway - 'height' is not really the issue she's talking about). In one of the wooden masks, she talks about using this form for dealings with a magician, and she suspects that magician of having a hand in her current unfortunate circumstances.

She returns to the form of the owl sitting on the man in black's shoulder, and we're now in a yard behind an estate, surrounded by partygoers. The man speaks of my payment and I dismiss the small amount of money he offers; I tell him I expect him to provide me with food and lodgings, pea soup and three packs of smokes a day. (Neither of those are things I'd want IRL, but I wasn't being my IRL self here.) I'm already leaving, stepping over an ornamental pond; it's a demand, not a negotiation. He's irritated, but she accepts immediately. I walk off into the trees along the border of the property.

In earlier scenes, symbols of eyes and blue lotuses above the entrance to a cave, and drinking a polar bear's blood from a glass while wondering about parasites.

Date: 15 May

Pre bed: 400 mg valerian, 100b B6

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Impressions and Recall: There was my usual for B6 sense of aggression seeping through parts of the dream. After waking up from the lucid (after 5 hrs of sleep), I decided to take key notes and review as not to wake myself up. I got pretty excited and the internal dialogue turned on full power, resulting in about an hour of insomnia. After that I fell into deeper more unconscious type of sleep with a decreased recall capability. I had another lucid from which I remember only a part, I continued sleeping after it was over and had an non-ld.

Fragment1: Some kind of posts on DV that had to do with PennyRoyal.

Fragment2: At home, my parents have gone somewhere and I am in my room cooking some strange pancake/calzone thing that looks and tastes delicious. I have to leave some for my grandma.

Dream3 DILD TOTY attempt: I am in a room which feels familiar, three women are sitting around the table, and I am cleaning up as if after a meal. One of the women has some tempting white green chocolate cookies, I am secretly planning on having a few after the women are gone. Another female DC comes in and starts behaving really aggressively. She demands all the attention, looks me in the eye with hatred and begins complaining to one of the women in the room. I have the feeling that they will start a fight with each other, so get out of there fast. Her hostility feels kind of fake, and at this point the memory of the B6 effect for me reaches my subcon on a subtle level.

I find myself on the stairs of a building and lots of aggressive gangster type boys are all around me. One of them is particularly evil, feels dangerous. I become lucid on a distracted level, realizing this is a dream, but unable to do anything about the guy. I am trying to move away but it is really crowded on the stairs, I think somebody pushed me, and I end up in a niche on the wall. The wall is not really wall but something liquid that sucks me in. As I move forward in this thing, I achieve a better clarity of mind and am fully lucid and in control. There is a single task that I feel the urge to do now, go to Angel Falls. I remember CL’s advice to try to feel the floor, so I move my fingers, touching the empty space and feeling small grains of sand and pebbles. The dream idea was to be on top of Angel Falls, but in the water, so in addition to my feeling the floor, I begin to make swimming movements with my hands. The wall is already liquid and it is like a white pinkish sinking sand made of rubber-like substance. The whole world has disappeared and it is just me and the wall and I feel a closer to the void, afraid that the dream would destabilize and disconnect. I am swimming forward and nothing happens for a while, but I decide to keep on swimming. At some point the whole environment changes and I find myself looking at a flower, submerged in water.

I look at the dark purple flower and marvel its beauty, noticing every petal in detail. I look around, and see that I am in the middle of a pond/lake that stretches as far as my eyes can see. At the same time, mixed with this image I find myself in my old room, where all this is taking place. I focus on the surface of the pond which looks like a silver mirror reflecting the clouds. I then notice that this pond is covered or rather slowly begins to cover itself with lotus flowers. Bright yellow and magenta lotus flowers are everywhere I move my eyes to look. I feel happiness upon witnessing this beautiful sight. The dream is extremely vivid and stable. Needless to say, I am somewhat distracted by this, but keep gliding on the surface of the pond in the direction of Angel Falls. This doesn’t work too well, I am still within the confines of my room, looking through some glass that distorts the view from outside, which is the view from my room with strange rainbow-like effects. A bit like looking out during a bus ride. It looks like my room wins the battle between the two layers of images, gaining more detail.

Soon the water level in the room goes down and with it my lucidity. I struggle to restore the water level with intent, but non-lucid already. I manage to briefly do so, but then I see the floor and the water is retreating. There is also mud everywhere, the furniture is falling apart. I become concerned about the state of my old room and wonder how to clean everything. [end of memory]

After the dream ended, I had a brief awakening, noting to myself about the lucid, but then fell asleep again. I heard some kind of bell-like sound, I guess a type of HI, that actually woke me up. After reviewing the dream I had 1 hour of insomnia. Then - deeper sleep and less memorable sleep.

Fragment4: Having to share the bed with relatives, I preferred sleeping on the ground.

Fragment5: Some more beds, family friends.

Dream6 DILD: I am in my hometown, in a familiar park and am lucid. I see a few dogs around, mostly small ones and larger one (no idea what breed) captures my attention. I keep looking at it and feel my emotions reflected in the dog. I observe it a for a while, the dream is stable, I am happy. By simply looking around, I unconsciously summon more dogs of different smaller breeds. I find this cool. [end of memory]

Fragment7: I see and talk to a politician I don’t like.

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][img]http://flowerinfo.org/wp-content/gallery/lotus-flowers/lotus-flower-13.jpg[/img][/SIZE][/FONT]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I’m in California, visiting my dad with my son and daughter.We have gone someplace for the day, and have now decided to go look around thebay for scenic moments. We are in Oakland somewhere and come to a pullout, oroverlook, and as we get to the edge we can see the water and all the ships init, including a cargo ship and an aircraft carrier. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]My dad says, “Let’s go take a look!”[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]We go down to water level, somehow, possibly by convenientelevator. When we arrive at dock level I can see the port of Oakland on myright side, though it seems to have much less to do with cargo than usual, andall the cargo cranes are not present, only a few remain. Tied to the dock farto my right is an aircraft carrier, towering above us, and loaded with planes.This is the ‘wow’ moment. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]When I was young I would walk down to the Navy breakwater inAlameda and watch the carriers from only a few hundred feet away. They were bigand powerful, cities to themselves. When the Naval Air Station closed thecarriers left, along with all the planes and support personnel. I was alwayssad to see them go.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I’m looking at how big and shiny and colorful the aircraftcarrier is and how good the sky looks behind it. It seems the Navy has become alittle progressive with their color schemes and instead of just the plain greyof most ships this carrier has been updated with accents of black and red thatmake the carrier look powerful and swift. I decide I want my film camera instead of mylittle digital, which I left in the car, back up the hill. I tell my dad, “Ireally want my camera; I’m going to go back and get it.” He says, “Yeah, I think I want my camera,too.” He accompanies me back to theelevator and we ride up to get our cameras.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]At the top I walk out and I am standing in a dirt parkinglot. The dirt is fine and almost sandy, but not deep. Behind me where thescenic vista was is now a series of shops and other small buildings, none morethan five stories in height. The buildings are mostly made of concrete and lookold. The time is late afternoon and manyof the local workers are emerging, preparing to go home, and some appear toalready be toasted. Many are dressed in sailor outfits, though they don’t seemout of place despite us being some distance from the water. At some point I believe I have a conversationwith one of them.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I have come home from California, and I’m happy to be home.Jen is happy we are home also, though my kids don’t seem to be around. Theliving room of the house is different than normal. The structure of the houseis different, the walls have texture, and even the orientation of furniture is changed.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]I walk out the back door with her and our storage room isoff to the left upon exit, and beyond it is a lot of brush. Jen decides tobreak some and starts a small fire in the outdoor fire pit/hearth (which doesnot exist in real life), and I break a few branches myself. Then I realize thatas the fire grows it will burn the plants and dead branches piled above thehearth, and I begin pulling down and breaking the material so it won’t start auncontrolled fire. Jen gives me anexasperated look as I put some branches on and stand them vertically so theywill catch, telling her, “You have to stand them up, like this, to make themcatch fire.” This prompts the eye-rolling from her, and she moves the firearound with a stick. [/SIZE][/FONT]
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[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]We come inside and she is on the far side of the kitchen,handling some task. I am still near the back door which now has a window to theleft of it when facing the back door. This window is not made of glass, or ismissing the glass, and instead has a thick plastic sheet in place, and I feel adraft coming around it. I inspect it more closely and discover it is notattached at the bottom, and pushing on it allows even more cold air to come in.The push also reveals a hidden pocket of snow, collected in the window and notyet melted, which I reach for. The snow is mixed with small leaves and grass,and it’s cold, but fluffy. I turn around to show everyone and a friend of myson is standing there, and he asks, “Is it cold? Can I touch it?” I throw it at him, and it lands on hisjacket. I feel pretty good about this and throw a little more at him, which hetakes in good stride.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I notice by looking out the back window that the fire isgetting high, and needs to be brought down, so I go outside to handle this. Thetrees above the fire are getting singed and one of the trees is actually onfire. These are thin trees, perhaps twelve feet in height at their top, and allare young fruit trees. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I head for the water faucet by the back door, turn on thewater to a medium flow, and begin spraying the trees with a mist to extinguishthe fire and protect them, while hopefully not dropping too much on the fire itself.Sadly, I use too much and the fire is diminished to a smoldering heap, but itis still burning and that’s what I wanted.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I go back inside, I believe, and walk up to the front of thehouse briefly, or perhaps not briefly, time and motion seemed to blend here. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Again I look out the back and now the yard is super-long,perhaps several hundred feet. On the right of the property is a long,chain-link fence, which just ends towards the back of the property. The firehas been moved out to the end of the property, and is in a large tank offiberglass, or heavy plastic, with ports on the side. I run because again thefire is out of control, sending flames and sparks some 25 feet in the air, andI don’t want the attention of the fire department. I turn on the hose, but thistime it is heavier, and longer. I realize that Jen has attached a second hoseto the first one so it can reach all the way to the back of the property. I runwith the sluggish hose filled with water and finally reach the fire pit, but asI arrive the fire is extinguished by several guys hanging out in the back yard.They have put out the fire using a fire-protection system that is mounted alongthe back side of the container. It consists of several vertical supports towhich large buckets are attached, each filled with water. Each bucket is blue,cylindrical in shape, and about two feet wide and four feet tall, and opensfrom the bottom to allow a dousing effect. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The container, or fire pit, is now filled with water whichsloshes back and forth. It is dirty and filled with ash, and one of the guys isin the water, trying to gain his footing. He apparently activated the system,though I wasn’t sure why he was in the pit at the time.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I explore the rest of the end of the yard here, and when Ilook towards the house it seems really far away. When I look out away from thehouse I see that the yard ends not far from where the fence ends, and becomes asloped piece of earth which leads to a street where many new homes are beingconstructed. The road is dirty, as is common around construction sites and Ican see the tire tracks of the vehicles in the dust.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]To my left, when facing out, a house is being constructed,and it appears to be encroaching on my property, and I say, “It was nice ofthem to ask if they could build here.” Suddenly I have doubt in my mind. Didsomeone ask? I can’t recall.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]From the street a vehicle approaches, turns down the hilland comes towards me. It is not a fancy vehicle, nor new, but the owner ordriver steps out and walks up. He is dressed in white clothes, not quite asuit, but more western in appearance. He walks and talks business.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“I want to buy your truck, he tells me.”[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]My truck? I’m not quite sure what he means. I turn aroundand the fire container has become a red truck body, and for some reason this iswhere the fire was built. The truck is old; possibly a late 70’s or early 80’smodel. There is a cab piece, a large bed from the truck, and a hood. Theproportions of all these truck parts are abnormal, possibly three or four timeswhat they would normally be. Despite their large size they are lightweight, andcan be moved easily. I pick up the bed and turn it upside down, and it is now coveringme like a cave. I back out and move the other pieces, to block the yard fromaccess. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“It’s not for sale, I don’t think.” I tell the man.“Besides, it’s not mine. It belongs to Jen.”[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The man dismisses me and starts to walk towards the house,and I tell him to stop. At first he ignores me, and I tell him, “You won’t getanywhere unless you talk to me first.” He is still walking and I hold up myhand and start counting fingers, backwards, “Five, four, three, two…” The man turns around and walks back. “Okay,I’ll listen.” [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[FONT=Calibri][SIZE=3]“The truck belongs to Jen, and has been part of the familyfor a long time.” He gives me a sidewaysglance. “I can take you to her but I need to talk to her first.”[/SIZE][/FONT]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I get up from my seated position and am about to movetowards the house when I notice a couple of people have walked up, and they areheaded towards the stairway to my right (as I face the back of my house). Theback of the yard has morphed in to a room, and I am perched on the back of asofa which occupies part of an interior room with a fireplace, a large mirror,a couple of tables, and the previously mentioned stairway. The people, whoappear to be teenagers, proceed up and out of sight around a bend in thestairwell. This stairway wasn’t there just moments ago and I realize the house nextdoor has been built surprisingly fast. As I’m pondering its origin anothercouple walks up, a man led by a woman, and she is only wearing panties. She isan attractive women in nearly every way, tall and thin, tan skin, and longbrown hair. Her breasts are exposed, and the man I am with is staring veryintently at her breasts. They have beautiful fullness but her nipples appearinverted, and have the shape of lotus flowers, as If the flesh has beenterribly mutated or mutilated. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]She walks by and out of sight up the stairs, and I say, “Didyou see that? Her nipples? They’re all gross!” I’m slightly mad, slightly bewildered,and very confused. “And where do all these people keep coming from? Why arethey in my back yard?!”[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]The man had indeed seen her breasts, and had been staring ather with obvious lust on his face as he also stared at her ass. “Letch!” I callhim, and turn away. He seems unfazed by my comment and did not appear botheredby the shape of her nipples.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I don’t dwell on this and I walk back up to my house, whichis either closer now or I skipped over the walking part. To the right of myback door is the back door of another house which has now been built directlyagainst mine, and I say, “What the hell? When did this get here? Why did theybuild so close?” Indeed they are close, and to make it worse both houses now sharethe storage room to my right. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Confused and upset, I walk inside, through the kitchen, andon in to the living room. A party has been going on and there are guests in thekitchen and dining area, which I slip past. In the living room I find Jen, leaningdown in the closet near the front door, rummaging for something. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“Honey? There’s a man here to see you. He wants to buy thered truck out back. “ [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]She stands up and turns around. We walk into the middle ofthe living room and from nowhere Riley S. appears. He is in his Boy Scoutuniform and is overly cheerful, standing boldly with his hands on his hips,arms bent out to either side. [/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]“I’m here to introduce the man!” he proudly announces.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]His scout uniform is covered in patches, each about threeinches squared, and these are all his merit badges. Suddenly the man appearsnext to him, and he is dressed similarly, covered in patches and fullyuniformed. He places his hand on Riley’s shoulder and says, “I’ve got this,son.”[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I turn to Jen and say, “Here is the man. He wants to buy theirtruck. He is not related to Riley, and is also not part of the Scouts. Oh, andhe’s a letch.”[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Again the man seems unfazed by this and asks if he can buythe truck. In a very pleasant voice Jen tells him it is not for sale, and hasbeen in the family for a long time. It’s special to her, and I begin to wonderwhy she had allowed a fire to be placed in it. Still, it’s not my truck, soit’s none of my business.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]This part may have occurred before the California dream.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I remember looking over all my cassette tapes, with theintention of playing one of them. This is an odd moment in the dream because Irecognize that cassettes are no longer in style, let alone production. Despitethis I am excited to play a tape of good music for…someone. I have the feelingI want to play music for someone but I don’t know who it is now. I am alsoexcited because I am using the cassette player my dad had when I was a kid,which I liked very much. It had lots of buttons and dials, and a VU meter foreach channel.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I recall, after the house dream, looking through somecomputer files for “The Death File.” I do not recall why I was looking for thisnot what it was connected to but it seemed important. I am standing over acomputer with an older-style monitor that displays yellow-lettering. I amclicking through a list of files and looking for the one I want.[/FONT][/SIZE]
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