• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. cclvii. City of cathedrals, Investigation, Concrete sewers and undead rabbits

      by , 04-23-2021 at 09:57 PM
      23rd April 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm in a city, with H or maybe a friend, possibly a dream character. It's built out of full-sized cathedrals which in turn also basically make up a lot of the surrounding landscape. Either way, I'm on a public footpath of some kind and with a non-conscious impression of being somewhere quite high up. There are many other people around, I remember seeing people going in either direction with backpacks on.

      The public path is built on top and as part of some cathedrals' rooves, which are partially flat. These bits have sections of tempered and thick (more than an inch) stained glass that allow pedestrians to walk over them and see inside the cathedrals that are below them.

      (recall gap)

      Something about a police investigation? I'm helping investigating or something.

      (gap)

      A concrete room underground. Related to sewers or some similar water processing facility? It's wet and there's some very deep water, which I can't see into very well but I'm not trying to look. There are platforms, this room has a feel of being like some kind of puzzle or challenge room.

      At some point, I'm now in the water. In the water, there are dozens or perhaps hundreds of undead and rotting rabbits. Their fur is green and patchy. The visible flesh is a pale violet or purple. The ones that have eyes, possibly glow. The undead rabbits swim mindlessly at the surface of the water. The water does not look unclean, despite their presence. In fact, it's kind of clear, even if I can't see very far into it.

      The room has a cold and dim light or ambience.



      Notes:

      Spoiler for Notes spoilered to keep DJ entry less lengthy:

      Updated 04-23-2021 at 09:58 PM by 95293 (grammar)

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    2. ccliv. School friends and football, Musical junk

      by , 04-19-2021 at 06:01 PM
      18th April 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm in a place that in some ways resembles my old home, but it's a dream generated location. Reminds me of the newer part of the city (L) by the river. At some point I'm with my old school friend Da? I'm not sure if we're actually doing something together or not. There seems to be some kind of animosity between us.

      Then I remember an open arena or amphitheatre place. There's lot's of people here, mostly people I knew as a teenager besides a dream crowd. Something about football? JC has the ball and he runs away with it at his feet. Two other guys, one of them Mi from earlier years of school, they're chasing after us. I seem to be able to run faster than everyone else in the dream but I feel slow myself. I suggest that I take the ball or something but I remember at that point noticing I have my boots on and remembering that it never worked too well with boots on.

      (I wake up at some point for my alarm)

      Fragment:

      I'm with mom, we're on a street somewhere. It's day time but not quite? We're waiting to cross a road and this double-width lorry/bus thing appears and stops at a junction, blocking us from crossing. It has lights inside and is full of musical instruments or something, seemingly just thrown in as junk, essentially. I tell mom we should put in some of the stuff we have, but she's not feeling so sure about it.

      Out of her handbag, I take out full-sized electric guitars I think, at least four of them, one was red. One by one, I shove them into an open window at the top, that I can somehow reach. It feels a bit like a recycling drop off place. Mom's bag is now much lighter and I hope that this will be helpful for her.

      There was something about dad and L boarding this vehicle before. But anyway, soon it starts moving and goes away. The dream scene changes and we are now in a shop like a supermarket. We're in or nearby a fridge aisle. Mom goes off to find something? I forget what I do, but I don't go the same way as her.



      Notes:

      - I have been trying to set intentions around the lucid dreaming party before bed but sometimes I get distracted or end up losing my train of thought/the focus on it.

      - I haven't spoken to Da in a long time. Sometimes I see him online but neither of us have started conversation. Recently conversations have started with old friends but they end up not leading into much. It has left me feeling a bit disappointed on some level.

      - Recently had some discussions about music with someone I know.

      - Both dreams were much longer but these were the bits of recall that came easily.
    3. 26 Mar: Trump makes a terrorist attack in Europe, visiting a museum in France

      by , 03-26-2021 at 07:54 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some sunny city somewhere in southern Europe, I think, which has canals. There is some international event going on and I am actually walking away from it. Then I spot Trump in a very bad disguise on a motor boat, going in the direction of the crowded area. His kids Baron and some of the girls are going in other boats in different directions. I know immediately they are going to commit some terrorist attack and try to stop it, but can't.
      In the end, I end up with the ashes of the victims, for some reason.

      In France, at a natural history museum, I stalk a guided tour with high school kids, so I can listen to the guide. The guide notices me, but pretends not to care to avoid causing a fuss.
      There is a display of ancient dentures with semi precious stones as teeth. The guide tries to make me feel self-conscious by asking me a question about it. I feel embarrassed and I separate from the group and head to the museum shop. I am delighted with a Star Wars encyclopedia and there are books that resemble some of my childhood Russian books and I get very excited, but turns out they are just similar and not the real deal. A couple kids that were in the guided tour before, also come to the shop and start flirting with me. I feel flattered, but they are just kids. I go get my coat from the cloakroom and the guy there is really gorgeous and age appropriate for me so I also flirt with him a bit. I can tell we both feel like we don't want to depart so soon, but I am the one taking the step. I touch his hand and say I loved meeting him, but I have to say goodbye and that I am going away from this country soon and will probably never see him again. He looks heartbroken.
      At the exit we are thoroughly checked to see if we stole something from the museum, but instead they confiscate some pills I have on my pocket. I explain my need for it and make a bit of a scene, so they end up letting me go with it.
      Outside is already night and I have no clue how to get "home". I just have a vague idea I need to go to a bus stop near of after some place named L'Envers. I go to the closest bus stop and wait for a bus to come. My french is a bit rusty, but when a bus comes, I beg the bus driver for help and he ignores me and starts moving away. I keep begging for some indications and some Asian dude steps up and offers to help me. So the bus driver stops and and I come on the bus. The dude says he can help me to get closer to my destination and teach me what buses I need to get on and off to get there, so I sit a couple seats away from him.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. 18 Mar: Lucid through the mirror, walking maybe in Belgium and rural place

      by , 03-18-2021 at 02:24 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      Taking a shower in what looks like my maternal grandparents kitchen in VFX. The shower is on an elevated platform with a very lose curtain in front of it, just by the left side of the door. I don't feel uncomfortable though and I am feeling a bit horny.
      I see the direction this dream is going and for that reason I get half lucid and decide to dry up and dress. Right in front there is another door leading to a proper WC. It has a large mirror on the wall. When I see it, I get fully lucid and I sink in it. Unlike other times, it just expands like a bubble and becomes transparent, letting me see that there are people working in an office behind it. I burst the bubble and join them. They look scared and some run away. One dude seems like he might attack me, so I manifest a bunch of money on his desk trying to distract him. Then everyone else goes crazy and I think I need to make more money to calm them down. So with some difficulty, I make it rain - there's notes falling out of thin air. Unfortunately, some just look like notes but are random pieces of paper, which again seems to enrage people. I decide to leave before they turn on me. I levitate towards upper floor and then go through a couple doors and I am outside. I feel the fresh air and find the sensation amazing. I also enjoy the view. Seems like I am in Belgium, the architecture looks familiar. I walk down a street looking for references and see a big sign saying Badesee or Badesek. Seems like an entrance to a station or a park. I almost lose lucidity in here, so I rub my hands. I am enjoying beautiful surreal things like trees with african pottery hanging from branches, a stained glass sky with beautiful sunset hues shining though it. Then I notice some weird guy kinda stalking me and I decide to fly over a wall to the other side. It's a more rural landscape on the other side and I see a huge snake in pastel yellow and green designs sliding through some wooden houses ad then turning into a girl in clothes of those colors. I find that lovely but also seems like she is a sign of caution from here on. Then I catch a glimpse in between houses, of some black guys running and I am not sure what they are running for or from, so I hide to see what's up. I hide between two very close walls of a couple ruined houses and I peek over a wall to see if they came my way. They didn't, they disappeared inside some other house or down the road. Then I see a man guiding a bunch of scared black women and children into a barn and other people hiding wherever they can in these old rural houses and barns. I don't know what they are hiding from but I am absolutely sure they will be found very easily when whomever is looking for them swipes the area. I want to help them so I plan to hover the place and shoot fire or whatever to their attackers, but I am distracted by my dog Lady who comes out of nowhere and joins me in that tiny space between walls where I am at. I hug her and all of a sudden I am in my farm and notice that all my dogs are outside the fence. Some idiot girl was passing by and when my mom arrived in her car, the girl leaned against the fence to get out of the road and she damaged the fence, and the dogs found a way to pass under it. Pissed of, I ask her to help me fix it while trying to bring my dogs inside.
    5. ccviii. School stuff and a brief rampage

      by , 01-11-2021 at 05:31 PM
      11th January 2021

      Dream:

      At a school. For whatever reason, it has headstones on its gardens like a church yard would. I'm in a classroom initially, banal stuff happens. Not sure what the class/lecture is. Feels like school from when I was between age 10-15.

      Eventually, a second teacher comes in. A black woman, she smiles a lot and seems friendly. She sits next to me on my left at my desk. I notice she has extremely short hair, not unlike my own haircut in waking life right now but her hair is curly. Her skin tone itself is very dark but not the darkest I've ever seen.

      She smiles and we talk about some forms I was supposed to have filled. It was some kind of evaluation or assessment, I remember doing bits of it beforehand. There's this page with a table layout and she asks if we should go from there. She's sort of... half on a phone line with someone at the same time? That other person can hear our conversation but I don't remember hearing them.

      At some point, I notice we're outside, still sitting at the same desk. As we're going through the page, because of the way she explains some things, it becomes obvious to me that what little I'd done was not fully correct and my assumptions about the column headers were erroneous.

      I have some vague recall that it was an assessment about my physical symptoms.

      It's kind of a perfect day; sunny outside with a very light amount of distant clouds. I feel or notice the tufty grass under where we're sitting.

      She gets another call, or someone comes? and tells her that she's going to be suspended from work. Apparently, she forgot (and I didn't know) that we were violating the rights of the dead, by blocking the space between them and the sky. She's not phased by this and smiles politely but genuinely. This other party berates me and tells me I'll be failing this class. I feel sad and start sobbing.

      The black lady leads and accompanies me into one of the school halls. Dark and unlit, except for a reflecting glow from outside.

      I ask her, in my native language and in anger and crying, "why is there such a stupid rule?". I feel frustrated and say whatever else comes to mind, and I say "it's a pointless rule!" as I walk toward a window. From a first-floor (we were on a ground floor a moment ago but I didn't notice this) window I see the tightly packed headstones and ask "why the hell does a school even have graves on its grounds?!" and I think I walk back to her and we walk together a little bit.

      She's about to say something and I try to stop sobbing and I say "I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault" and I feel that the suspension she's getting is completely unfair. She smiles again and tells me something, also talking about her suspension though before she can manage to comfort me I feel myself running away, still angry and confused at everything that had just happened.

      I'm not on the school grounds anymore and I'm running angrily and aimlessly through a city street wide enough for six cars. Three buses following behind each other are coming my way, slowly, but I make no effort to avoid them at first. I think about how I could die crushed by one and nobody would care, but before I get too close, I preserve myself and avoid getting trapped or run over but in a blind anger I swing my arms at them, trying to hit the back plating. I continue running down the street in my emotional state with some awareness of people around looking at me a little.

      The street slopes downwards and is in the shade of a large and tall building to the left. As the street continues down it has an edge and beyond that in the distance I see the rest of this massive city lit by sunlight, on a sort of cylindrical slope or half-tube. It's an amazing cityscape but I don't even make an effort to appreciate this during the dream.

      (later, or after waking up and falling asleep again while thinking about how I would like to be lucid and would like to anger an Olympian god)

      I'm in a dark house. There's a door leading to a basement with vehicles and I want to take a bomber jet. Mom is in this first room and tells me that dad took something out for a ride but as I approach the door he comes through it and lets me know that I can't use what I was wanting to, just right now. I seemingly don't care too much and go through anyway and get on a "mini" battleship, no bigger than a small van.

      I take it out and immediately I'm in some kind of combat adventure. There are bad guy lackeys trying to shoot at me but they do so in vain and even though "miniature" this battleship moves a ton of water; I'm going down some kind of tropical river. Going down some rapids I think about taking out some more distant targets and then I open a realistic-view interactive map of a nearby area and decide I want to teleport there, trying to pick a precise spot and imagining the best spot to make the battleship drop on to displace a lot of water when it reappears and falls in. But when I actually do teleport, I'm not in the battleship anymore.

      I'm now some kind of gorilla; some remnant of the anger from the earlier dream returns, in some way. I go down an area full of people and cars and I attack them but only in passing; I seem to be focusing on simple continuing along and just damaging whatever's within reach along the way. At one point near the end, a panicked man in his car pointlessly tries to run me over. I'm about the same size as the car but easily avoid it and then proceed to chase after him for a while before I lose interest and continue my aimless rampage. This bit takes place near a fast food car park.



      Notes:

      - This dream was completely non-lucid and at no points did my awareness really raise any higher; there were no pre-lucid thoughts or feelings. It was very vivid overall and all emotions were quite intense, but none of the intensity carried over on waking.

      - I took an extra supplement before bed last night.

      - That woman was such a nice person and after writing my initial notes for the dream it really reminded me of how lucky I was through school at times, having had figures like her present not just once but many times.
    6. 4 Jan: Futuristic dystopia, alien monsters and an Indian actor

      by , 01-04-2021 at 09:04 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In the future, there are city areas we cannot walk into, because drones attack immediately and also bombs are dropped regularly. But I need to meet someone who hides there, so I take a chance. I arrive there just before the daily bombing and the locals help me find shelter.
      I bring this person with me. We need to enter a museum for some reason but it is not open to the public. We try going in and they reject us. Then it starts raining but it's acid rain, to the point it burns the skin. People run for cover. We hide under a sculpture on a square. Then we see a monster they sent to track us down and we have to run from it.

      Going to a grocery store with Riverstone and we spot an alien monster hiding in the store. The owner is totally unaware and every time we spot the alien moving he doesn't see it. We keep trying to prove him it's real but he morphs and shapeshifts. Then it also behaves as a ghost and possesses the store objects. There are children size dolls which start moving and Riverstone freaks out (one of his biggest fears) and says he is leaving.

      Attending some kind of seminar. There is a lot of people and the rooms are small so they put a camera on the presentation room and are projecting it on screens in other rooms. I stay in the room where the speaker is.
      At the end there's is a play about an Indian guy who wants to marry some rich girl but has little chances. After a lot of rejection her father allows them to meet and even go on a trip together but then it's clear the girl doesn't love him and all of it was a waste of time. But on exiting the theater, the actor who played the rejected guy attracts a lot of girls, who go after him.
    7. cxcix. Artistic "success", Helping a congregation/church, Cloaking vans

      by , 12-20-2020 at 02:57 AM
      17th December 2020

      Fragment:

      (left too long because of little opportunity to write)

      First bit. Looking at one of my art(ist) profiles. I feel sort of amazed, I have just over 250 people watching my profile, apparently.

      Another bit, in some church, near the end of a dream. I'm helping some women, mostly in their 50s and so on. They eventually tell me I can't be allowed to join their group officially as it is for women only but they tell me that because I helped them they can however offer me an honorific title or position.

      I feel pleased or satisfied, though I can't remember if I accept, but they seem happy either way too.

      19th December 2020


      Fragment:


      In the car with H. We're driving along some bendy and somewhat narrow road in an industrial estate-like place. Some van "uncloaks" in front of us at a corner. H is upset and surprised by this.

      Earlier bit; (recall faded too much) something about a large area of land owned by someone and cities on it. A mountain and atop it some castle? Night time. Lots of street/city lights in the distance. A semi mountainous region in general but a lot of water and rock outcroppings that are at least a couple of hundred stories tall, each.



      Notes:

      - Although I seem to remember the dreams from 17th of December were kind of long, the recalled portion has an interesting personal contrast between two worlds that are very different but are also very important to me.

      -- The profile watching count certainly comes from recent worries based off/around self-expectation.

      - The uncloaking van was certainly based off recently replaying through the Freelancer campaign but interestingly during the day there were at least two incidents with vans appearing a bit out of nowhere when we were on the road.

      Updated 12-20-2020 at 03:02 AM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    8. cxcv. Reality editing suite, On a walk with a friend

      by , 12-01-2020 at 06:38 PM
      1st December 2020

      Dream:

      By the end of a dream sequence. I remember some editing interface, like video game authoring tools and sort of in focus, there's a female furry character. A white wolf lady with red-ish accents on the hair on her head. She was part of some kind of animated sign or billboard and had a stylised drawing look to her. I felt curious or interested, but distant in terms of personal connection. I scrubbed through the animation a few times.

      The surrounding area looked like an alleyway of some kind, a street. There were metal-ring fences and such like, some warehouse type buildings. Sunset.

      In the editing interface there was some sort of point and click thing that allowed me to find the source files of textures, sounds, anything really, as long as it was visible in the dream reality and I had the correct and corresponding editing suite module in interface focus.

      (recall gap)

      Near the end of a second dream sequence. I was walking around with JC, from school, in a town I don't recognise. Not dissimilar from the previous area, but morning time instead now. It was an industrial/commercial estate type area and there were covid-related queues for getting into shops. I remember feeling I had no patience for such things (queuing etc) right now. JC was as I remember him; soft face, somewhat short but around the same as me in reality. Perhaps he seemed shorter because he still looked younger.

      We walked past a car stuck in a queue at the entrance to a parking lot area, part of a superstore/shop. It was a blue colour, cerulean like? Like a VW Beetle, but not? JC was in a suit, kind of like JSco might have. He was infantile and yet, mature in some sense. That's how I always felt about him, I now realise.

      I have my casual clothes on. Sweat pants or whatever which I wear both for lounging and for work. Black nylon t-shirt. As we walked, he commented "I want some GTA pussy, you know?". I don't remember replying. Then he continued "It's been a long time."

      His voice didn't sound at all like his actual voice and he spoke in perfect English with none of our native accent. I didn't notice any of this during the dream.

      I remember as we walked along I thought to myself "Great, he's gonna be trying really hard, I'm gonna not be caring and one of these girls will just hit on me instead of him; that would be typical."

      We reached some dead-end looking bit. Concrete-y. Breeze blocks or something like that made up a low wall, damming up earth and whatnot. There may have been a staircase up and through one part. On the top of this low wall, there were heads, some kind of digital representations/avatars or holograms of girls from the neighbourhood and the local school (college/high school). There were a lot of fake blondes? I forget how the heads looked exactly but they didn't seem out of place, somehow. JC sort of inspected each one as we kind of circled around this bit.

      The dream ended soon after, I was woken up by the door.



      Notes:

      - It's possible these were two separate dreams, but I had a feeling they were linked in some sense.

      - JC is one of many friends I had at school that I got along with fairly well, but characteristically, after college I never really heard from him again and he didn't seem too interested in keeping in touch. I remember walking with him in town a few times and having long conversations, probably mostly about games though.

      - Although we shared a common name, physically we were very different and though he wasn't any weaker than me, I always thought he appeared somewhat meek. In this dream he sort of had an aura of over-confidence contradictory to how I knew him, which would have been more over-cautious than anything. In essence, the dream character as a persona was someone else, but took on his physical appearance. In the dream I was my current age, but perhaps with a younger style of thinking.

      - I may have seen a furry character before like the one in the first part of the dream, though I'm not certain if my brain was referencing anything specific. It felt like she was her own original thing, despite what I might consider to be a stereotype representation.
      -- On further thought, I found out about the sub-culture when I was in my mid-teens, which was also around the same time as I knew JC.

      - I don't know what the "GTA pussy" thing was about really, but even in the dream something felt out of place about it. Part of me realised on typing my initial notes that we really have no control over what our friends say sometimes and how we have to just get on and live with it or do something about it and potentially get into a conflict with them.

      - My over-analytical view of this dream is suggesting to me now I should probably try to do some more serious inner work on these subjects.

      Updated 12-03-2020 at 10:30 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
    9. cxciv. Through the forest with an ally

      by , 11-29-2020 at 10:27 PM
      29th November 2020

      Fragment:

      Some part about being in a car with dad and he had an accident or something and then stuff repeated itself. I think it was mostly a light collision but I lost the details.

      (recall gap)

      Another part where I'm cooperatively going around with another dream character (male, stronger?) and we need to reach some kind of extraction point but while avoiding a military presence that's nearby. There was an APC on a hill or bridge and some kind of gunship.

      I remember deviating from the straight trajectory we were on and finding a flatbed with a rocket turret mounted on the flat bit and used the turret to shoot the gunship down or whatever it was. I had a temporary cloaking buff that prevented my detection.

      This part had started off on top of a green-ish hilly type area. Then nearing the extraction point with the military presence there was a forest but there were lots of orange tones, dead leaves and leafless trees. Daytime all the way throughout.

      Then I carried on and met up with the other dream character I was originally with, we were in some city area not far. Grey-ish and concrete-y. There were pits? Some green liquid at the bottom of the pits. Vague recall of tall buildings and cracked foundations and cracked streets, which was where these pits or ravines were. I remember a cage at some point. Either I got stuck there or the other character did.

      There was more to the dream but I took too long to start writing and forgot too many details despite the relatively vivid details of the dream.



      Notes:

      - This dream was originally quite long. Recall has actually not been particularly poor lately, but my DJing has been lacking, mostly because I have been waking up too tired and lethargic and so if I do start writing the recall is usually fading or gone. Also often by the point I realise I could have written something down, I have already slept again since the initial recall or have simply not bothered because it has felt too tiring to try.

      - The area where dad was driving was thematically similar to the remainder of the dream.
    10. Going back to sleep and getting a lucid

      by , 11-18-2020 at 09:53 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      I woke up by myself 8 am and thought about going up because I've gotten my 8 hours sleep. I wanted to get a lucid and know that I easily get lucids when I resleep in the morning.

      I'm in church and go sit on a chair 2 meters fromt the main entrance. I'm playing nonogram and there are some people playing a game and running in front of me. Linda from my class approaches me and wonders where I got my socks from. I notice that I have a pair of my Happy Socks on me. I tell her that Elina (?) gave me them. She says that she got her's from Elina too. She walks away awkwardly and I think it is weird of me to have my phone and playing nonogram.

      Notes: I had a dream earlier about Elina but don't quite remember it.

      I'm by Hemköp and walking home. I see a chair on the ground with wheels on it. I take it and keep on walking home. By the slope I sit on the chair and ride on. The chair is spinning counter clockwise. I meet Albin and say hi to him. I start wondering if this is a dream but I wake up.

      I lie in bed and decide to walk up. I just woke up and I'm in church. My pants are dirty and I wonder how I'm supposed to get home to school, I don't remember how I got here . My arms and hands are white and I know it's a dream. I do my RC. Yep I can breathe even though I pinch my nose. I start to fly away and notice how I don't have full control. I see a man walking the street and I want to test something. I imagine that I have a rope and pull him in. He starts to do weird motions but not accordingly to how I do it. I fly away in search for something fun. I find a house and walk in through the window. I meet a man and I ask him where his family is. He says that they are in the dark room upstairs. I walk up and open the door. It is pitch black and my vision is gone. I think about how I am going to wake up if I don't do anything. I imagine how I grab the wall and walk down the stairs again. My vision is still gone but I have a small sense on my hands against the wall. I try to open my eyes gradually and it is a success. I walk to the outer door. The man from before greets me and the sheriff enters. They talk a while about how everyone has guns and the houseowner jokes to the sheriff that it is because he is so bad with guns that everyone else needs guns by themselves. The house owner talks about how much the clock is and I tell him that he doesn't need to worry. The clock is 10 am in the waking world I tell him. He doesn't reply to this. I fly on and look into different houses. There are dogs in all the houses. The dogs have some sort of bad aura over them. I walk into different houses and see some families. I keep on flying and come to a spooky house. I fly through a window and notice that there are many children there. They are having some kind of spooky party. I fly to the back of the house and exit through a window. There is a flying witch there. I show of how good I am at flying and think that she is only using a thread or something fake. I fly back to the house and see some kids again. They jump over a hinder to come to the next floor. A boy, about 6 years old, throws a big wooden wheel at a small girl and she starts to cry. She runs to me and hold my hand. She drags my hand as if she wants me to carry her and so I do. I carry her and feel a bit stressed out at first because I haven't done anything really fun in my lucid but feel comfort in comforting this little girl.

      Notes: I didn't have that much control over the dream but it's okay. I haven't had a lucid in a long time. I read How to Kill a Mockingbird and studied the chapter with the sheriff yesterday. I woke up 08.55 am so I was actually wrong when I told him the clock was 10 am.

      Updated 11-18-2020 at 09:57 AM by 97565

      Categories
      lucid
    11. Walking, snow, woods, dad is idiot. Guitar man. Among us. Wake up in hospital. Discord, transsexual.

      by , 10-06-2020 at 08:00 AM (DJ of lucid goals and how it goes)
      Notes: I tried one of my longest WILDs 22.30-23.25. I got some very light dreams about people standing in front of me and some eyes. I think they were HH and not light dreams actually.


      I'm walking in a snowy forest. My backpack is heavy and is hurting my shoulders. I'm walking and walking and I don't know to where I am walking. We reach a cliff and it's no longer winter. Dad wants us (me, dad and my brother) to jump of the 10 meter high cliff into the water. Me and my brother doesn't want to. Dad grabs my brother and starts to carry him while he runs unto the edge of the cliff. Dad makes a really long jump but doesn't make it to the edge of the cliff. For some reason he throws my brother over the edge before he lands on the ground. Dad lands on the cliff while my brother falls down the cliff. I scream at dad telling him that he is an idiot. He doesn't care much and says that he can fix it. My brother is really angry and can swim here (He can't swim IRL). Dad jumps in the water to save my brother but ends up pushing him down almost two meters when he lands on him while swimming to him. I am so angry at dad because it feels as if he wants to hurt my brother. Dad is calling grandpa and talks with speaker on. We listen to the conversation while being mad at dad.

      Notes: My brother is having a tough time and is screaming a lot now. Dad is always going to him and trying to talk to him even tough my brother doesn't want to.

      I'm watching a screen. There is a man that is talking english about how to be a better guitarist. He takes his guitar and says that you have to practice to play only using pull offs and hammer ons. He counts down on swedish and starts playing some really good music only using pull offs and hammer ons with his left hand.

      Notes: I got some inspiration from this dream IRL.

      I'm playing Among Us but everyone has a heart over them. You are able to give other people hearts during the game to those you don't think are impostors. I think to myself how I would want to win as an impostor and get a heart from everyone.

      Notes: I played some Among Us with my cousins yesterday.

      I woke up 04.00 and wrote down the dreams above this.

      I wake up in a hospital and I am shocked. I have panic in my voice and asks where I am and why I am here. A doctor and mom come to me and say that it's alright. Mom says that they are here to operate my warts away (They use the swedish word for warts but they are talking about my birth marks). I don't have a shirt on me and the doctor shows me where I have different birthmarks I have never seen before (I took a look under my shirt now IRL just to be sure I didn't have the birthmarks the doctor showed to me and I didn't have them). He takes a laser and do some weird patterns on my stomach that is supposed to help the operation. New part. We are in Sturkö and I have got a big belt over my stomach, about 15 cm width. It has shining lights on the inside that are placed over my birthmarks that are supposed to take them away. White lights on the front and red on the back. I turn it on and the lights really hurt in a way I have never felt before. It is like a burning chemical feeling about it. I walk around and it turns out that the belt actually isn't secured that good on my stomach. It falls down and the lights don't hit my birthmarks anymore. I walk around for a long time. New part. I'm at home and some of my cousins are also there. Jonathan is nagging about how he wants to play a game to his mother. The belt is still there and is hurting. During some periods I go to a sofa and can't move because it hurts so much. The pain goes in waves. New part. I'm walking in city with mom and the belt is still on. I look on my stomach and see how some kind of fluid is coming from the birthmarks. I touch the fluid with my finger and inspect it. I see how the birthmarks are starting to disappear. I think about mom's cousin L who has operated some of her birthmarks. I ask mom if it is not wrong to operate birthmarks. If no one would operate away birthmarks no one would look down on people with birthmarks and no one would have to suffer like I have done. Mom's answer has to do with that the world can't change and that we have to adapt. She is not happy with the world but says that I have to suffer because the world is bad.

      Notes: I talked with mom about L and her operations for some years ago and havn't thought about them for a long time. Dad uses some kind of laser to cure his patients sometimes. I usually don't feel pain in my dreams. The white lights on the front and red lights on the back has to do with car lights. I study for the driving license theory test now.

      I'm on discord and I see a gif with a girl that is transformed to a man. There is some kind of vacuum cleaner that sucks her breasts out from her. My view comes inside the gif and I see the woman that is now a man but still has a woman's face. She raises up from a operation table with some hospital men around her. She walks out. I become the operated person and wonder what I should do this beautiful morning now when I have changed gender. I am outside my school walking up the street to Centrum. I am aimlessly walking the streets and just enjoy that I am free.

      Notes: When I was a kid I wanted to be a girl and sometimes walked in a princess outfit. My name in Among Us is Miss Pink and the persons I play with often refer to me as she.

      Notes: That was an eventful night. The dream about my birthmarks was really long and most of the time I was just idling and feeling pain.
    12. Girlfriend fragment | [22.08.2020]

      by , 08-22-2020 at 08:17 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Girlfriend fragment
      I am great friends with some girl, she seems to be my girlfriend. We keep doing things together, running around some old city or something. It seems to be early morning and we're alone. We seem to be having fun together, but something is chasing us, but we take it with humor and take it as if it was an adventure.
    13. cxli.

      by , 08-19-2020 at 08:01 PM
      7th July 2020

      Dream (somewhat fragmented):

      Some mix of walking and racing around a city. There was a long track that lapped at a military train station of some kind and looped around through a somewhat futuristic city and some mountains and sea side cliffs. I think I lapped around a couple of times at least. The track was a mix of dirt and train tracks along the non-city parts, so the car would transform or something as it went on and off the rail tracks. The moments during which I was driving were all in third person view.

      (recall gap)

      At some point I was driving a tank past the check point where the race track supposedly lapped, somewhere in the city. A group of rebels appeared and melded out from the cheering crowds gathered around the city race track. The group of people had guns and they clung to me and demanded "the truth" (not of me, it was their chant?). I was not their ally but not their enemy either. I carried on moving forward and some point I'm me and not in the tank anymore, and I'm going through this cramped and small hall of a sci-fi, neon-lit mall. It's kind of dark but the neon signs made a stark contrast.

      (at some point there's a transition, maybe not instant but gradual, though my recall of it has faded)

      The rather large group of rebels was much smaller now. I was now in a giant cavern and this much smaller (less than ten people in total) group of rebels and their children had been following me for a while now after what I think had been quite some time walking; some of the kids kept holding on to me (in fear?) or clinging but I found this annoying at times since I was trying to move forward.

      In the huge cave there was this giant reptilian alien creature and it was fighting or attacking something. I remember running past its large open mouth and throwing a small nuclear bomb inside. Somehow I made it keep its mouth closed as I moved towards its tail.

      The bomb went off at this point and the light shone right through the scaly skin; there was a certain iridescence to the effect and there were plenty of vivid colour. Because I was at the back at this point, I remember making note that it was a female (based on the genitals) and the creature began to feel weak and was sort of hanging on its knees.

      Then I remember being the same size as it; I sort of rolled it over on its back and then it was a (friendly) dog. I was trying to be careful because some of those people were still nearby and now they were tiny. I gave the dog some kind of pill like a tranquillising medicine, without too much resistance; the giant dog began to look a bit out of it and happy. Then there was some kind of interface to choose how to reset or reprogram the creature's behaviour. There were two columns with a few options each.

      The dream ended shortly after this.



      Notes:
      - Even only after waking up I thought that the general setting of this dream was very interesting. The sci-fi type city and the scenic landscapes are generally appealing and come to think of it, are both subjects I'd like to be better at portraying artistically.
      -- I remember some picturesque sunset views at some point, around the seaside cliff areas.
      - This was one of those dreams that felt quite long, where I feel there are many parts of the dream that I did experience but simply could not recall solidly once awake.
      - The whole thing with the rebels and the city makes me think of the Hunger Games for some reason, though I don't think I'd rewatched it recently at the time of this dream.
      -- I don't remember clearly anymore what was the general emotional state of the rebels and their children when we were in the cave, but my mind says "fear" at the moment; but the way the children were hanging on to me was more playful, in the same way that as when I was a child I might have done when being playful with my parents.
      - The nuclear bomb and the shiny effect were probably in part brought on by playing Borderlands 3 and using a character skill that enables miniaturised nuclear warheads to be fired, and in part probably by Fallout and its Fatman too.
      - Rolling over the creature (dog at that point) was very akin to my experience of having to give my dog medication, though in this case there was actually more willingness to receive the medication.

      Updated 08-19-2020 at 08:03 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    14. cxxxix. Pre-lucid moment and artificial dream sign

      by , 08-13-2020 at 01:22 AM
      1st July 2020

      Fragment:

      Long dream but recall up to this point was poor. About halfway in, I was going through a busy-ish city centre with some other dream character walking along with me.

      Then a very obvious dream sign appeared, a tall woman in labcoat, walking away in a different direction, possibly wearing nothing else. She had flat and very black hair, reminding me of one of my cousin's hair or come to think of it, a sort of Cleopatra hairstyle?

      I recognised the dream sign and checked the fingers on my right hand, but for some reason I didn't realise I was dreaming and I didn't make further checks. Something about my fingers seemed distorted but the number was correct. I didn't remember to do any physics checks oddly and I think I was also distracted by whatever my previous dream objective was.

      Later I either had a micro awakening or another pre-lucid moment during which I automatically reflected on what had happened and how I'd been unable to realise I was dreaming, but again not realising this irony.

      (Missing recall)

      Different part of the dream. I was somewhere kind of dark. Some dream character was showing me something? Then some of this characters pet spiders appeared on the ground out of nowhere, individually one after another, there were only a few though. But for some reason in the dream I let my phobia sort of return and take a small hold of me, mostly because of the first spider. It was a black and yellow/gold patterned orb weaver, about the size of a large hand. Even in my temporarily panicked state I realised that it seemed more afraid of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

      (Missing transition)

      Another part of the dream sequence where I was at some modern-ish looking house. I was not myself, but a character for the dream plot. I was some kind of elemental creature but I don't recall any details of my form or appearance. There were four other humanoid creatures of similar elemental nature. There was an absent character that had created us and one of the other creatures had been created right in front of me. She appeared in a cloud of white smoke within a glass room, which I was standing outside of. The glass enclosing this "room" made it more like a container or cell of sorts really.



      Notes:

      - This dream was a particularly good pre-cursor to the lucidity I had later on (4th August).
      -- At this point I had been becoming more diligent with my reality checks but not quite so much just yet. Currently at the time of writing (13th August) I am far more diligent with my RCing though there are still situations under which I should be checking but still am not quite so often.

      - My primary issue with my RC was really the fact that I gave up on the first try but this was made much worse by the fact that the dream itself caused distraction from my RC procedure, something that I'm a bit more careful.

      - The bit with the spiders was somewhat unusual in that I haven't been letting this affect me at all in waking life but it may have been around the time when I've seen bigger ones around the house more recently.
      - This was the first dream with spiders for quite some time now, I think.
    15. Monday, June 22

      by , 06-26-2020 at 06:09 AM
      I think I am in New York City. I am outside of a somewhat smaller building that has at least two climbing walls attached to the exterior. There is a line (I think mostly of kids) for each. There are a few police officers that seem to be letting people in. I think I don’t really need to climb one, but end up doing so. I think everyone is trying for speed and I know that I could beat them due to my age and experience, so I just climb it regularly. I think I only have socks on. I also think there’s something about not thinking I’m on a rope, but then discovering I’m on an auto belay. Now, I am walking around the corner to deposit a check (or make a withdrawal or something similar). The building has older columns and a white stone staircase. I pass by a few sketchy people, then enter into a tiny room. There’s one other in here, a girl who seems to be friendly with the female bank teller. I have to sort of make my presence known. I now give her the slip and think I get it and a receipt back. I also think I did something wrong, since it’s been so long since I’ve done something like this, and have to go back.
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