• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Girlfriend fragment | [22.08.2020]

      by , 08-22-2020 at 08:17 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Girlfriend fragment
      I am great friends with some girl, she seems to be my girlfriend. We keep doing things together, running around some old city or something. It seems to be early morning and we're alone. We seem to be having fun together, but something is chasing us, but we take it with humor and take it as if it was an adventure.
    2. cxli.

      by , 08-19-2020 at 08:01 PM
      7th July 2020

      Dream (somewhat fragmented):

      Some mix of walking and racing around a city. There was a long track that lapped at a military train station of some kind and looped around through a somewhat futuristic city and some mountains and sea side cliffs. I think I lapped around a couple of times at least. The track was a mix of dirt and train tracks along the non-city parts, so the car would transform or something as it went on and off the rail tracks. The moments during which I was driving were all in third person view.

      (recall gap)

      At some point I was driving a tank past the check point where the race track supposedly lapped, somewhere in the city. A group of rebels appeared and melded out from the cheering crowds gathered around the city race track. The group of people had guns and they clung to me and demanded "the truth" (not of me, it was their chant?). I was not their ally but not their enemy either. I carried on moving forward and some point I'm me and not in the tank anymore, and I'm going through this cramped and small hall of a sci-fi, neon-lit mall. It's kind of dark but the neon signs made a stark contrast.

      (at some point there's a transition, maybe not instant but gradual, though my recall of it has faded)

      The rather large group of rebels was much smaller now. I was now in a giant cavern and this much smaller (less than ten people in total) group of rebels and their children had been following me for a while now after what I think had been quite some time walking; some of the kids kept holding on to me (in fear?) or clinging but I found this annoying at times since I was trying to move forward.

      In the huge cave there was this giant reptilian alien creature and it was fighting or attacking something. I remember running past its large open mouth and throwing a small nuclear bomb inside. Somehow I made it keep its mouth closed as I moved towards its tail.

      The bomb went off at this point and the light shone right through the scaly skin; there was a certain iridescence to the effect and there were plenty of vivid colour. Because I was at the back at this point, I remember making note that it was a female (based on the genitals) and the creature began to feel weak and was sort of hanging on its knees.

      Then I remember being the same size as it; I sort of rolled it over on its back and then it was a (friendly) dog. I was trying to be careful because some of those people were still nearby and now they were tiny. I gave the dog some kind of pill like a tranquillising medicine, without too much resistance; the giant dog began to look a bit out of it and happy. Then there was some kind of interface to choose how to reset or reprogram the creature's behaviour. There were two columns with a few options each.

      The dream ended shortly after this.



      Notes:
      - Even only after waking up I thought that the general setting of this dream was very interesting. The sci-fi type city and the scenic landscapes are generally appealing and come to think of it, are both subjects I'd like to be better at portraying artistically.
      -- I remember some picturesque sunset views at some point, around the seaside cliff areas.
      - This was one of those dreams that felt quite long, where I feel there are many parts of the dream that I did experience but simply could not recall solidly once awake.
      - The whole thing with the rebels and the city makes me think of the Hunger Games for some reason, though I don't think I'd rewatched it recently at the time of this dream.
      -- I don't remember clearly anymore what was the general emotional state of the rebels and their children when we were in the cave, but my mind says "fear" at the moment; but the way the children were hanging on to me was more playful, in the same way that as when I was a child I might have done when being playful with my parents.
      - The nuclear bomb and the shiny effect were probably in part brought on by playing Borderlands 3 and using a character skill that enables miniaturised nuclear warheads to be fired, and in part probably by Fallout and its Fatman too.
      - Rolling over the creature (dog at that point) was very akin to my experience of having to give my dog medication, though in this case there was actually more willingness to receive the medication.

      Updated 08-19-2020 at 08:03 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    3. cxxxix. Pre-lucid moment and artificial dream sign

      by , 08-13-2020 at 01:22 AM
      1st July 2020

      Fragment:

      Long dream but recall up to this point was poor. About halfway in, I was going through a busy-ish city centre with some other dream character walking along with me.

      Then a very obvious dream sign appeared, a tall woman in labcoat, walking away in a different direction, possibly wearing nothing else. She had flat and very black hair, reminding me of one of my cousin's hair or come to think of it, a sort of Cleopatra hairstyle?

      I recognised the dream sign and checked the fingers on my right hand, but for some reason I didn't realise I was dreaming and I didn't make further checks. Something about my fingers seemed distorted but the number was correct. I didn't remember to do any physics checks oddly and I think I was also distracted by whatever my previous dream objective was.

      Later I either had a micro awakening or another pre-lucid moment during which I automatically reflected on what had happened and how I'd been unable to realise I was dreaming, but again not realising this irony.

      (Missing recall)

      Different part of the dream. I was somewhere kind of dark. Some dream character was showing me something? Then some of this characters pet spiders appeared on the ground out of nowhere, individually one after another, there were only a few though. But for some reason in the dream I let my phobia sort of return and take a small hold of me, mostly because of the first spider. It was a black and yellow/gold patterned orb weaver, about the size of a large hand. Even in my temporarily panicked state I realised that it seemed more afraid of me, but I couldn't shake the feeling of unease.

      (Missing transition)

      Another part of the dream sequence where I was at some modern-ish looking house. I was not myself, but a character for the dream plot. I was some kind of elemental creature but I don't recall any details of my form or appearance. There were four other humanoid creatures of similar elemental nature. There was an absent character that had created us and one of the other creatures had been created right in front of me. She appeared in a cloud of white smoke within a glass room, which I was standing outside of. The glass enclosing this "room" made it more like a container or cell of sorts really.



      Notes:

      - This dream was a particularly good pre-cursor to the lucidity I had later on (4th August).
      -- At this point I had been becoming more diligent with my reality checks but not quite so much just yet. Currently at the time of writing (13th August) I am far more diligent with my RCing though there are still situations under which I should be checking but still am not quite so often.

      - My primary issue with my RC was really the fact that I gave up on the first try but this was made much worse by the fact that the dream itself caused distraction from my RC procedure, something that I'm a bit more careful.

      - The bit with the spiders was somewhat unusual in that I haven't been letting this affect me at all in waking life but it may have been around the time when I've seen bigger ones around the house more recently.
      - This was the first dream with spiders for quite some time now, I think.
    4. Monday, June 22

      by , 06-26-2020 at 06:09 AM
      I think I am in New York City. I am outside of a somewhat smaller building that has at least two climbing walls attached to the exterior. There is a line (I think mostly of kids) for each. There are a few police officers that seem to be letting people in. I think I don’t really need to climb one, but end up doing so. I think everyone is trying for speed and I know that I could beat them due to my age and experience, so I just climb it regularly. I think I only have socks on. I also think there’s something about not thinking I’m on a rope, but then discovering I’m on an auto belay. Now, I am walking around the corner to deposit a check (or make a withdrawal or something similar). The building has older columns and a white stone staircase. I pass by a few sketchy people, then enter into a tiny room. There’s one other in here, a girl who seems to be friendly with the female bank teller. I have to sort of make my presence known. I now give her the slip and think I get it and a receipt back. I also think I did something wrong, since it’s been so long since I’ve done something like this, and have to go back.
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    5. cvii.

      by , 04-01-2020 at 12:48 PM
      A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway.

      Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories.



      Dream:

      Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly.

      This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door.

      I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too.

      Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something.

      Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began.

      Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already.

      Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt.

      Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it.



      Notes:
      - When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens.
      - I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold.
      - The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like.
      - In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point.
      - Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems.
      - More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too.
      - The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.

      Updated 04-01-2020 at 12:50 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , side notes
    6. cvi.

      by , 03-31-2020 at 04:11 PM
      Dreams for the mornings of 26th, 27th and 31st of March. 26th and 27th enclosed in spoiler to reduce general length of the DJ entry.

      The last few days I have had decent dream recall from morning awakenings but I have felt too tired to make initial notes for them (28th,29th,30th). Sleep has been unusual for this past week, keep getting up too late despite several normal awakening times but might be starting to improve again.



      26th:

      Spoiler for 26th content:


      27th:

      Spoiler for 27th content:


      31st:

      I had some sort of pre-sleep half-dream. I was starting to "paint" with just my mind (telekinetically) and was having ideas for a new painting and what I might paint next in my art room.

      Dream:

      I was in Sweden. I was with one or both of my Swedish friends and we were in their metro system. The stations were tall and spacious, but what really caught my attention was the shapes of the architectural structure. A lot of long and abstract shapes (just the kind of thing I'd like to build with concrete) and all of the stations we went through were mostly concrete, which I think my friends disliked. I think I liked it despite the lack of colour just because of the shapes.

      The stations were very well lit and quite busy. I remember we went through one station on the train and there were small island platforms with crossings between them that went down on the rail level, which seemed to imply a high degree of self-responsibility from people.

      Another part of the dream or a different dream, I was trying to get to or from university?

      Dream Fragment:

      Something like the cities game I've played recently, but mixed with actually travelling through the city. I was trying to manage some sort of power dams, three of them to be exact, and they were using water from a mountain like a custom map I made in WL that had a dormant volcano lake.

      There were some flow issues eventually, especially because the water was getting completely drained by the dams and this disrupted where it wanted to flow; the water from the source started making its own way in opposite directions and this annoyed me.

      Dream Fragment:

      In some kind of office. I remember the typical fake ceiling and light fittings. It must have been afternoon; there was a nice and golden light coming in through blinds that covered the windows. The dream focus was on two characters. A stereotypical "madame" and her butler. She wanted to check if she had won some prize with this organisation which did travel tours as rewards? She was obviously naive with her direct interactions with people and the world. Someone representing the organisation felt a bit odd and sinister.



      Notes:
      - The pre-sleep state was interesting because it was like what I used to get as a child, just not as strong. It came on very subtly and on its own.
      - That state's content was a conscious decision, because I quickly understood that I was more creatively receptive at this stage compared to normal thought, just a shame I didn't interrupt it to make any notes about the painting ideas.
      - I was a bit disappointed to not have made notes about the sex dream right after it had happened. In the last few days during the first morning awakenings I have dreams with great recall and think to myself of short word descriptions for the dreams so that I can remember them even if I fall asleep but this technique hasn't worked very much so in conclusion I really need to just write down dreams as soon as I can if I'm likely to fall asleep again.
    7. Saturday, March 28

      by , 03-31-2020 at 04:58 AM
      I am somewhere outside? with Melissa, Pepe, and his mom. I think they both look high and then, sure enough, she lets on that they are. She confides in us that Caesar is the head of some pot farm/ selling ring or something similar. I can see it, imagining him and his boisterous personality right now. Now, I am climbing up through some tall and thin wooden structure. I pass through ‘floors’ that are spaces barely bigger than my body. Each side of the space, I think even including the top, is a mirror, making for a trippy experience. I now get to what seems to be the top. It is different because the sides are concave, joining in a small ceiling, and it seems there’s nowhere left to go. I don’t accept this possibility though, and push on one of the sides. It opens and reveals a vast, dim space that I think may be the pot farm.




      I am in New York City with Melissa, walking along a sidewalk. The street is busy and I can smell and taste the putrid emissions from passing trucks. The sidewalk is close enough to the street, but it thins even further at one point, leaving hardly any space for foot traffic. We pass a tower with a parabolically curved glass facade. The glass is mostly translucent, but it gets much dimmer higher up. There is a space behind the glass, in which there are large advertisements. Melissa says something about how they won’t even be visible. I agree. We end up in a restaurant that seems familiar (from another dream, I think). I notice a couple about our age in the booth behind us, across from me. They are dressed pretty nice for this place and sitting on the same side. I think about their life. I notice a man in sunglasses sitting alone at a booth diagonal from us. Melissa asks to trade sides, and we do. I look through the fairly short menu and decide I want pretty much the first thing on it, some corn dog things. The waitress, brunette and maybe 30+, comes over and seems out of it, like drunk or sad or something. She gives us a minute. I look at the extensive beer list in the back. They’re sorted by brewery (they must all be local - I don’t recognize any), under the brewery’s logo. The price per beer is then listed after the name, lowest to highest, separated by slashes. Most of the first prices are six to seven dollars, but I see prices like 9,16, 27, 59, etc. I think these prices must be for bottles and/or pitchers but that they’re still ridiculous. I guess that’s just how it is in the city. Nothing sounds too good anyway, so I figure I’ll settle for a slightly cheaper bill. The waitress returns and sits by me, putting her hand on my shoulder. It could be a nice gesture, but with how she is slightly rubbing her hand it is taken a little too far. She takes Melissa’s order and then mine. I say ‘I just found something, where did it go?’, trying to find it again. I find it and tell her while also pointing. She doesn’t say much. She comes back and sits again. This time she reaches over and grabs my crotch. I am a little shocked and put my own hand over it. When I move my hand, she does it again and then leaves. I text or tell Melissa and she just shrugs it off. I want to tell her what kind of reaction there would be if the genders were switched.
    8. c.

      by , 03-18-2020 at 07:08 PM
      Dreams from 14th, 17th and 18th. Mostly just copied directly from any morning notes I made for each day. Some notes in-line with the entries.


      14th:

      Dream Fragment:

      First dream? Some Egyptian place, a big outdoor temple. I remember detailed stone and all the shapes I normally associate with ancient Egyptian architecture. I remember night time but also day time. It was a fairly long dream.

      It was a game like world or something. I was Link from Legend of Zelda? I remember fighting winged obsidian statues (likely "borrowed" from WoW). I remember the feel of a controller in my hands though. Maybe a Gamecube or Nintendo 64 controller, but could have just been a Wii one, since the joysticks have remained fairly similar over the years.

      Dream Fragment:

      A dream I'd travelled to my native country but with my high school class, and some other classmates from childhood. I remember we were in a coastal area visiting something. I forget all the details. This black I knew, Milt, was messing around some exhibit area? And then we were burying smoe ancient and withered corpse that had not received any funereal service. We then surrounded him with rocks and then placed larger boulders on top of him. The corpse was on a small dirt incline, about 20 or 30 degrees steep.

      Then I remember a room, indoors but nearby. It was dark inside, but I can't remember what happened there.

      Dream Fragment:

      Last dream that I woke up with, a WoW dream. Was playing rogue as usual and I was together with a raid group in Orgrimmar. We were in a different version of Thrall's throne room, it was more like a mix of Stormwind in a way because there was a lot of white stone and it was well lit.

      We were all bunched up in a corner, waiting for Horde players to come. I remember we didn't want to attack Thrall until we'd dealt with most of the nuisance players that would appear. We had already attacked Thrall before? I remember feeling surprise at the fact that none of the Alliance players from the raid group were messing around.

      17th:

      Scraps:

      Something about trains? Vaguely recall the dream took place outside and that it was day.

      18th:

      Dream:


      The dream was a bit of a mix of Freelancer and other space games I've played over the years. I was avoiding some large blocky asteroids while flying a ship, and when I got clear of the asteroids I noticed a planet in the distance. I kept my course which was already on approach to it and noticed a gas cloud/small nebula formation appear. It was a green-ish dark mustard colour and mostly surrounded the planet. Like a smog coming off the planet.

      I remember the descent down into the atmosphere in some detail. There was some virtual interface element somewhere that, combined with the structures I saw, made me understand that the planet was mostly covered by factories and dense cities comprised mostly of narrow but tall skyscrapers. It looked like most of the surface area was being maximised for industrial output space, not for living. I landed somewhere and went to a bar of sorts, typical of Freelancer-like gameplay.

      People didn't look well off. There was a stereotypical North American "Trucker" feel to the place and there was an overall air that this entire place existed in a state of bare subsistence. I remember talking to some of these people but I don't remember exactly about what. It was night time both through the descent and while I was at the bar place.

      Dream Fragment:

      Some underground place, very well lit. There was a feel to the dream like some of the more dark and serious anime type stuff, such as full film-type productions. There were policemen with gas masks and they threw some sort of stunning gas grenades. I try to escape with two other people. We were doing a heist or something? The police looked like the Secreta from E.Y.E. but with typical blue and white colours instead of gold and black.

      Some transition or outside? A rail track of some sort. The dream was quite long but I was a bit too tired and I've forgotten most details. I remember two groups of people, and Auron from FFX. There was some cart carriage thing that went on the rail track...
    9. xcvii.

      by , 03-11-2020 at 04:05 PM
      Dreams from March 10th and 11th (today).


      10th:

      Dream Sequence:

      The last dream sequence started out with me playing a female gnome on WoW. Though I had rogue abilities my character's portrait indicated "level 49 warlock" when moused over. The character had a pointy dark purple hat and matching dress.

      I used my stealth ability because I was in some distorted version of Tirisfal, mixed with Ashenvale, making me feel an imminent danger of being attacked by other players. I could see trolls riding around on raptors, a few level 60s but otherwise mostly around my own level. I was afraid that this approaching 60 hunter might spot me or become aware of me long enough to then start attacking but somehow, despite the level discrepancy, that didn't happen and I was able to get past him, down a natural slope with a path; as I did this the hunter was entering a dungeon with an entrance like Stratholme's service gate (the back entrance).

      Then I saw other horde members, mostly between levels 17 and 29.

      There was a river (more like Ashenvale this part), and this low level female orc warlock was swimming in the river, doing some quests by the looks of it. I realised I had a quest here too, to grab some dried up flowers floating in the water. I forget the item names now. Five items of one type, one of another, and some extra item that I already had on me anyway according to the quest log. While writing the initial note for this, my mind sort of suggested that the elf music from Ashenvale was playing, but I don't really remember that in the dream in itself. Probably the effect of a strong associative relationship between the dream's construct and the real memory archetype.

      I got out of the water on the other bankside after collecting these items and I made the quest show me where to go. It started to display dashed paths on the parchment style user-interface map that the game has.

      The paths it displayed were leading me through another quest first; there was this big, half hewn tree stump, here on this side of the river and inside it there were three sections where I had to speak to some kind of spirits? Doing this would activate something, and then when I was on the way to speak to the third one, I passed by an open area with bright light on it, not inside the tree stump area, but I had to go this way to go around to the third spirit.

      In this brightly lit and grassy area, was a massive wooden frame, around a screen of sorts. An image appeared, symbols showing in sequence, once. First, a slightly rounded triangle, then a super simplified four-legged animal? And then, two other more complex symbols I can't describe or remember accurately.

      After the symbols, a blonde girl, aged no more than ten or so I'd say, appeared on the screen. She was smiling and spoke to me directly, thanking me for finding her. She asked me a question, about myself, but I don't remember what it was. I do remember an interface popped up with some choices, three primary choices and an extra choice;

      - "A sailorial heart."
      - (I can't remember the second option.)
      - "(Full control.)" :: This was the 'extra' option.
      - "Full naval!"

      For whatever reason, I felt that none were true to me at that time, except "full control", but I wasn't sure what it meant either.

      Then, I could see my character from the girl's perspective; the character was giving the answer, but wasn't a female gnome anymore, but some sort of mix between Wolverine and something more feral.

      I woke up soon after this.


      11th:


      Dream Fragment:

      Diablo II. Playing a sorceress, or druid? Playing with H? Remember using the glacial spike spell.

      Dream Fragment (part of a sequence continued in the next fragment):

      Someone being racist about some fictional game races. Me and some girl investigate rumours and who it could be. We were part of some class on a tour or whatever. Susie from Miss Maizel was our teacher apparently. The girl with me accused Susie of being the racist. I defended her, saying Susie just thinks everyone is equally an ass. In the dream, I remember a dream memory about her giving food and being charitable, and I retell this to the girl.

      Something happens, not sure what.

      Near the end of my dream, I am aware that I had been wearing shorts; now I was changing into my camo shorts but they have a rip or hole on the front of the right leg, which I didn't realise until putting them on. But I want to change back to the previous ones and then I can't or something.

      Dream Fragment (somehow related to previous):

      Getting on some kind of cruise boat with H. We were the last two to get on board, even though many more people were still waiting and queued.

      H carried on through some corridor. Everything was nicely carpeted and felt cozy I suppose. But then before I followed through, this girl appeared from the same corridor and she was saying she wanted to give up her place on the cruise to someone else, but a crew member (like a flight attendant but not?) stopped her. Apparently the girl was a windows svchost.exe process. I seemed to have some sort of meta-physical view of the dream reality but remember too little.

      Then I remember being in our private quarters with H, unpacking or settling in. In the quarters there was some weird dedicated 8 volt and 19 volt power supply, apparently meant for modern turntables and cassette decks. We thought it was odd, and wasteful.

      Dream:

      With H in a city of some sort. Underground? Looks dirty and rusty. Waiting for this team of people to fit some modular concrete block things, with huge power cables coming out the back. Really heavy-duty looking stuff.

      Someone shows up? Or there's a nun, but she's actually a shape-shifter. Turns into a black guy that looks like Zimos or Ruby Rod. He then pulls up two high calibre sawn-off shotguns. He shoots a bunch of people from this team and there's a small panic of sorts. Then more people come down from a ramp on the opposite side from where I was. The shape-shifter pretends to be one of them, but doesn't transform? And then he runs up the ramp to get away. Me and H follow.

      H's van is up here, outside. It's night time and fairly dark, but there are street lights. We want to help the shape-shifter escape and grab him, trying to get him in the van. He doesn't want to get in though, and transforms into a white tiger, running off. We follow him closely, to a cake shop. He goes in and morphs into a chef but the other woman following him with the intent of catching him doesn't notice.

      We then confront him, stopping him from getting away from us and ask him to come with us, reassuring him about safety.

      Then H is no longer H and is a mix of Gibbs, Auron and Riddick, and then I'm not there anymore. There's a cut and I see a scene of telepathic dialogue between the shape-shifter and the other character. The shape-shifter mentions his "fury" and the other character asks the shifter if they know anything about his "Furya".



      No notes, maybe some later.
    10. xcvi.

      by , 03-08-2020 at 11:41 AM
      Dreams taken from phone memos from today and yesterday. Will try to arrange chronologically and make notes for each day separately.


      7th:

      Dream Fragment:

      There's a high school context to the dream. Vi from my class back then, he was walking around with me, near my old home. We were headed towards the main square or the subway?

      In reality we'd never spoken a lot, but in the dream we were talking non-stop for some reason. I was telling him about a god of war? And about a dark goddess.

      Not sure where this fits into the dream but I remember some other part, relating to this goddess. There are strange cliffs, rock looks sedimentary; and there are scattered graves but I don't remember what they look like anymore. I spoke to the dark goddess I think.

      Other stuff happens in between and all I have left is a fragment from the end of the dream. I was gigantic and a ten story building was only about ankle height for me. I was running somewhere, taking long strides over cities and hills. I avoided excessively mountainous areas. It was quite sunny and clear.

      Some areas were under mass floods, because of the dark goddess? Something about her being angry. There were craters or abysses which the water spiralled into.

      Notes:

      - The irony of the last part of this dream is that this is one of my current lucid challenges.
      - I don't remember what I was wearing, or if I was wearing anything at all in the last part of the dream, but in the early parts of the dream I was wearing my old cream hoodie, except it had a front pocket thing, which it actually doesn't.
      - I don't remember actually seeing this goddess in the dream, but I have an archetype appearance in mind visually, where she appears sort of half-naked and has somewhat messy but long black hair. Has red iris eyes.


      8th:

      All sort of a continuous dream, but transitions and details are highly fragmented:

      Inside some structural complex. My family is here, primarily siblings and parents. I remember L talking and showing me a few things around the place. I think this place was like a house L and S were building?

      There's certainly lots of concrete to the structure, and some sort of carpeting thing going on. I remember a diffused sunlight from directly above. At this point I was in a concrete tunnel overhang with huge glass panes to the side. I could feel that the sunlight was coming from a diffusing rectangular skylight much higher up.

      Then after seeing into a few different rooms and going a bit dark, there was a transition of some kind.

      I was just outside the building I used to live in. It's daytime but not sure what the sky is like. Colours are semi-vivid. H is here in some form and I feel like I'm a small girl or something. I play around the cobbled area and then there's something about money. I was making 100 an hour by just moving some small 1kg bags of flour? But because there was limited demand, then I wasn't needed anymore, which made me disappointed.

      Transition or cut.

      Short sequence where me and H were about to play some board game. Not sure where we are, but indoors. Then all of a sudden, MB appears. I feel really apprehensive and tense, but oddly enough H is fine with his presence. I remember what I told mom some days ago in waking life, that we don't let MB hang out anymore, and yet here he is.

      We play a test round of the board game and then I start putting it all away, in the hope he'll get the hint and go away. I am confused as to why H hasn't told him to go either. I feel on edge and like I could become aggressive.

      Transition.

      Some weird sort of library. Reality physics mixed with game-type physics. There's a very short farclip plane. H is here and talks to me about something. I remember a purple and orange haze and some bookshelves. I walk around somewhat disorientated. I remember going into a room that I could see clearly and there were rolled up bits of paper, or scrolls?

      Transition again.

      I was on the computer, looking at a reddit link from some support group forum for people with my illness. The reddit link had an embedded youtube video that had some furry characters on the preview.

      The first line I remember either from reddit or the video description was "The inner drunkard voice of the characters we draw ghandara macrophylla". This doesn't fully make sense even in the dream and somehow I also feel the video will likely have someone with a really annoying voice, so I don't think I played it anyway. Passing thoughts about drawing.

      Notes:

      - I had to look up "ghandara", and the closest word I could find is "gandara", which means wetland(s) in Galician. Though it's a fairly familiar language, I didn't know this word specifically. "macrophylla" I know from plants, meaning large leaves or so. So that would make it "large leafed wetland" or something in a more literal sense, but it still doesn't link directly to the rest of the description text. I think in the dream the "macrophylla" was just a misspelling of "macrophilia" but it still doesn't explain the other random word.
      - Perhaps the oddest thing about the video link was that I have neither used reddit nor any online support group for my illness in a long time. The rest of the fragment's context seems to relate more to the fact that I haven't been drawing lately, mostly because of how I've been feeling, but also to the natural feelings of jealousy that seem to crop up in me sometimes when the art of others is on show.
      - In the weird haze library area, the purple and orange may have been a bit symbolic, as I associate purple to myself and orange to H, who was also there.
      - When MB was playing this board game with us, he was being as irritating as ever, all the more reason I wanted him gone.
      - Although I remember S was in the first part of the dream, I don't remember hearing her speak, which seems unlikely. That first part felt like the longest and the second part felt like the shortest.
    11. Wednesday, January 1

      by , 01-03-2020 at 07:59 PM
      I am with Makayla on some city street (I think it is New York). The sky seems dark though the surroundings do not. There are constellations in the sky that are bright and huge, almost comically so. I notice one cluster that I sometimes see in the sky (*it’s that one that I actually do see, almost a trapezoidal outline with more stars inside); it is also exaggerated in size. I think or say something about seeing this on psychedelics, and Makayla hands me two tabs of acid. I take them without hesitation and chew them into a ball instead of letting them sit. We walk around and I think I notice my perceptions start to subtly change.
    12. Avericia

      by , 12-16-2019 at 02:22 AM
      It is an annoyance and a tragedy that the immediate recollections of our escapades within the kaleidoscopic realm of dreams should vacate our minds with such cruel transience upon our withdrawal therefrom. Indeed, there is nary a dreamer – even among the most deliberate and experienced – who is spared the frustration of awakening from the dream realm with only fragmentary evocations of the awesome experiences they had and the amazing things their half-conscious eyes beheld; and there are fewer still who are spared the woefully common tragedy of awakening to no such remembrances at all, vainly grasping in the darkness for memories already gone. And so, as many diligent dreamers do upon awakening, I set immediately to writing the details of my most recent venture through the dream realm, fervently recording as much as I could before the bulk those precious memories faded into the ether. However, regardless of my efforts, many of the important details surrounding this tale were still lost in memory, not least of which were the details of the inciting event from which this tale would otherwise commence.

      Because of this, all I can tell is that certain financial circumstances of an unfortunate sort had brought my mother, my sister, and me within the doleful residence of what is infamously known as a “Corporate City.” I cannot, however, tell the specific details of what forced us to settle into such a municipality. If I was ever made aware of the name of this place, I cannot remember it now and so, I will give it the name, “Avericia.” A fitting designation as you will soon tell.

      The city of Avericia would most certainly stand as the ultimate staple of Late Stage Capitalism for Avericia was a place ruled by men of power and relentless greed. The rulers were not politicians of any sort, but corporate elites who reside in high towers and look down upon the working masses with little empathy and cruel indifference. Surrounded by a great wall rivaling that of Jericho, Avericia was home to those unfortunate souls who were subjugated to the whims of those ruthless men by whom they were employed.

      At some undetermined point in time, I was treated to a panoramic view of the place. The panorama presented to me a deceptively pleasant skyline superimposed against the iridescent pulchritude of a twilight sky peopled by majestic cumuli decorated with calming shades of pink, orange, and mauve by the setting sun. The outer portion of the radial city boasted a suburban sprawl of asphalt roofs, clean-cut lawns, and lush trees for the viewing pleasure of the residents therein. Peering further towards the city center, I could see a lively metropolis of lights, never-ending festivities, and fanfare beyond imagination. And at the center of it all was a casino of impressive proportion. The exact details of that casino’s architecture are lost to me. All I can say is that its grand aspect had me entranced in a venerable state of awe. Upon initial examination, one would be hard-pressed to find anything wrong with such a beautiful sight and it is that very essence of synthetic beauty that draws wealthy tourists to the fantastical inner parts of that city every year.

      After a procession of events that managed to evade remembrance, I found myself driving through the suburbs towards our place of residence. I remember little save a stretch of road that curved slightly through a neighborhood area, and from this up-close perspective, I could see fully the state of dereliction in which this suburban area was left. Houses were run down and defaced with graffiti and lawns were flooded with the foul overflow of neglected septic tanks. I do not remember the specific condition our home was in; I only remember that the place was crowded as there were several families taking up residence there. I slept in that house, not looking forward to the next morning.

      I do not remember the events the following morning. I simply recall finding myself on an employee monorail tram towards the inner city where My sister and I were to begin our first shift at the casino. The specifics of our job duties were unclear, we only knew that we were to be doing grunt work with only meager compensation. The dereliction of the outer suburbs home to the impoverished employees contrasted with the pulchritude of the inner city which was home to the wealthy tourists. I do not remember the details of this inner-city; I simply remember being taken by the site of that massive casino at the center of it all, silhouetted in part against the rising sun.

      The following events can only be described with a vexing degree of vagueness for it is here that all faculties of my recollection begin to break down. The next thing I recall is standing with my sister and the other employees outside of the employee entrance. It was off to the side, hidden from the public eye, and yet it was impressive in size, up to thirty feet high, as though it were a door for giants! I remember the moments where my sister and I would lament our present situation as we were made to clean the bathrooms. Unfortunately, that is all that I remember about the job itself. Sometime later, I found my half-conscious self floating through a cylindrical chamber illuminated by the firey luminescence of an unknown light source far below which caused the walls of this infernal chamber to glow red. The walls were lined with cavities whose openings were barred, each housing a prisoner. There was little doubt in my mind that I was deep within the annals of Sheol, the abode of the damned whose point of entry was at the base of this casino. How I came to be in this place, I do not know.

      I do not remember the reasoning for the internment of the poor people imprisoned within those cavities, but I do recall being tasked with their emancipation. As it turned out, the rulers of this casino, as well as the city surrounding it, were demons and if I wanted to free the poor inmates of Sheol I had to go through the casino and kill each demon, bringing an end to their reign of wickedness and greed. What followed was a series of fantastical happenings of bravery, skill, danger, espionage, and camaraderie. The only demon that I specifically remember fighting was a green naga of tremendous size. One by one the demons fell and as they did, more people began to rise up and join the fight. It was a hard battle, but it was a battle that we were winning.

      I wish I could say that fought to the very end. I wish I could say that I was able to free those poor people trapped in Sheol. Alas, I awoke before I could complete my task and so, as far as I know, the captives still suffer and many of the demonic elites responsible for their imprisonment still live.
    13. Saturday, August 24

      by , 09-23-2019 at 09:10 PM
      I walk up to a small bar counter in a small room. The room seems mainly to be for some standing space and the counter. I think there is a window with a view behind the counter or a little off to the side, adding some hazy sunlight. A few moments after I situate myself at the counter, a clean cut and conventionally attractive bartender turns his attention to me. He makes eye contact and lifts his chin as a way of asking what he can get for me. The menu seems to be hanging and is in two sections. Each option is a wine, but each is the name of a place. I tell him I see that the options are names of places and not varietals, and I ask what he would recommend given that. I am confident in what I am saying, but I’m still self conscious of my voice. There are people on either side of me, and it feels like their attention is on me and what I’m saying. The man asks what I’m looking for, and I say a white because of the hot weather. He asks what kind of flavors, and I say probably something more creamy than tart and something more sweet than not, but not cloyingly so. I end up saying quite a few flavors to where it still makes sense but is not very specific. He asks me to narrow it down, and I say ‘just not a red.’ he and the couple to my left start laughing. Self conscious, I ask what’s so funny. Amber from Sephora is here now and telling the man “babe, be nice.”





      I am in a smaller house that seems to only have basic furniture and no adornments. There is a couple that calls me (from the house across the street I think). The woman is describing a ‘medical emergency’ that really doesn’t sound like one. They want me to do something about it, but I’m trying to talk it down and get out of it. They still end up coming over here, into the bedroom I am in. the woman, with dark hair and eye makeup, starts reprimanding me about the nature of the ‘emergency’ and my reluctance to remedy it. It sounds like the guy, what is here but not saying anything, only scratched his finger, I think from the pin part on an EAS tag. I apologize, empathize, and just nicely tell her what she wants to hear. She’s fairly understanding but still comes off like she thinks she is so in the right. I let her think that but still think it’s puerile. They then leave, I think on good terms.





      I am in an unfamiliar city, on a bike. There are buildings either way I could go on this street. I know I need to go somewhere, but I’m not sure where and I’m not sure which way to go. I just follow my gut feeling and it turns out to be right. I am riding along the sidewalk, slightly downhill. It looks like the road is turning into a bridge over water. The sidewalk is divided down the middle by little white markers standing up. Everyone is to the right, and they all seem to be going slow. The bridge seems to be more of a flat expanse now, the road blending into the sidewalk, blending into a smaller barrier at the edge. We seem to be right at water level or just barely above it. The water is bright and clear, soft sunlight brilliantly reflecting upon it. The whole scene is beautiful and slightly surreal. For some reason, I think this is London.
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    14. 12 Sep: Tobogan competition, missing an exam and disgusting cyst

      by , 09-12-2019 at 10:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At some city with a river and I do my daily travels with a little boat across it. I also use the boat as a tobogan on certain land areas. One day there is a competition for urban tobogan sliding and I rush to participate, but it is only guys and they mock me and bully me. But I join anyway.
      Then there is some vice police that is annoying everybody, because typically this event is associated with a flourishing prostitution parallel business. The cops look at me sideways because women here usually are hookers and also I am half-naked because of my sports outfit which is a bit like a swimsuit.

      At the university, about to have an History exam, but I am in the Biology department gathering stuff I have been leaving there. It's 5 minutes for the exam, but I want to leave everything neatly packed in boxes to pick them up later. I check the time and call a friend to ask for the room where the exam will be. She says it is 5 pm and the exam finished hours ago. I say it's impossible because 5 mins ago was about to be 2 pm.
      I'm freaking out about my time lapse. I spill a cup of coffee that's on a table over another girl that is apparently taking a nap on a chair. She wakes up, I tell her about the exam and she tells me not to worry because all exams were delayed to next week and my friend was probably trolling me.

      I notice that the cyst I have on my back is soft and squishy so I squeeze it. It moves down and stops at my hip. It drips really smelly gook when I touch it, so I go look for a bathroom. I can't find one and for some reason I end up on the street and realize I am fully naked now. The cyst now looks like the cocoon from where "the" Alien comes out and starts to open. A jelly gook with jelly eggs starts oozing. I squeeze to get it all out and also start spewing mushrooms, starfishes and octopuses. Then, closer to the end, tree leaves also come out and then it empties. I feel extremely light and I can't care less about being naked on the street.
    15. Ominous night wandering.. including a tornado. | [24.06.2019]

      by , 06-24-2019 at 12:28 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      Ominous night
      I walk around my local area at night. A lot of the areas are way different from real life, though. It sort of resembles a dream from long ago where the same sort of jumbling happened.
      As I walk, I feel excited, while also feeling like I shouldn't be doing this. I decided to continue on. I kept walking across roads, leading to densely populated areas, then to less densely populated areas, while also coming across some landmarks.
      After a while, I come across a field behind a sort of village. There are hills around and I see a funnel cloud touching down in the distance. I think that I should simply walk away, but I remember my father saying (this didn't actually happen) that tornadoes can be avoided by walking to the side. I knew that I couldn't do that as I would be too slow. So I go into a house, then into a sort of basement, I think, hoping I was doing it right. But not entirely, just on the stairs. I expect tornado noises to happen all around me soon, but I wake up before it could happen.

      I again used a mantra and it worked out unexpectedly well. I will use this every day now.

      Updated 06-24-2019 at 01:48 PM by 96397 (Forgot to mention that I used a mantra.)

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable
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